1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,580 Welcome to Unlimited Parenting, where we discuss having children with disabilities or special 2 00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:12,980 health care needs. 3 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:19,100 I'm your host, Allison, and with me today is a very special guest, Idaho parent and 4 00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,740 IPUL board member, Valerie. 5 00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:27,700 Valerie has generously agreed to share her child's diagnosis story and so much more 6 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:29,160 with us today. 7 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,440 So let's get into the stuff and the things. 8 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:33,440 Love it here. 9 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:38,760 Like last time I readied my driver's license, I did the eight year thing, so I don't, I 10 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,440 don't plan on leaving for a while. 11 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:46,960 I have a bachelor's degree in accounting and right now I do the billing and insurance 12 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:50,560 for a marriage and family therapy for my parents involved. 13 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:57,280 I've been married to my husband for 16 years and we have four children and pay attention 14 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:01,560 to the ages here because it gets a little crazy. 15 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:06,720 I have twin girls who are 12 and they're going to be in seventh grade and then we have an 16 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:11,920 11 year old son who will be going into sixth grade and then a nine year old daughter who 17 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,240 will be going into fourth grade. 18 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,920 So that's 12, 11 and then almost 10. 19 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:21,560 So I do have kids that are incredibly close in age. 20 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,680 It wasn't exactly planned, but it has worked out. 21 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:28,640 Not only are they so close in age, but you have twins. 22 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:29,640 Yeah, yeah. 23 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,200 And then they're all kind of the same height. 24 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,200 So people think I have quadripleg. 25 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:41,320 We're out walking around and at this point I'm just kind of like, yes, I do basically. 26 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:47,280 So the one we're going to be talking about today is my son, the 11 year old, and he has 27 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:52,800 autism spectrum disorder and also has intellectual disability and kind of throughout his life 28 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:58,720 that one has kind of been a little bit more obvious than the other right now thanks to 29 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:03,120 a whole bunch of early intervention, whole bunch of therapy. 30 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:07,960 It's actually the autism isn't as noticeable in quotes. 31 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,680 It's kind of more the intellectual disability. 32 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,960 I think is what people are interacting with him. 33 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,760 They're like, oh, you're not quite 11. 34 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,560 It might be what they noticed first. 35 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:23,400 Yeah, whereas they're not going to notice like visual spinning or anything that he's 36 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:27,240 doing, but the autism is still very much there. 37 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:32,080 It's just not the first thing you notice as you talk to him. 38 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:40,040 So yeah, I'm just going to kind of give our interesting little timeline for his diagnosis. 39 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,040 I think some parents might really relate to parts of this. 40 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:50,040 I just want to kind of share a regular mom's story to figure out what's going on with her 41 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:51,040 kid. 42 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,680 No, if I should be worried about this or not. 43 00:02:53,680 --> 00:03:02,960 And so I did what you do and I asked on Facebook and I had a lot of really good responses from 44 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:03,960 my friends. 45 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:10,040 I just asked on my own like Facebook page, like me, not a mom's group or anything, but 46 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,000 my actual group of friends. 47 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,040 And there were people that said, oh, it's fine. 48 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,840 My kid did the same thing and now he never stopped talking. 49 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:17,840 Don't worry about it. 50 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:22,400 And there were other people that said, oh, you know, bring it up at his next well check 51 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,440 the doctor can screen. 52 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:30,960 And then other people mentioned, oh, maybe it's time to have him evaluated. 53 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:38,000 But the very best advice I got in this situation was a friend who I think she is a speech language 54 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,360 pathologist. 55 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:44,040 She was like, you need to call up your early intervention. 56 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:49,240 And she even like gave me the link sheet at the time we were living in Texas. 57 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:50,640 She didn't live in Texas. 58 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:57,120 She took the time to Google our like early childhood intervention program in Texas and 59 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:03,040 then dropped the link for me on Facebook, which I'm like, yeah, that's kind of become 60 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,920 like my like the way I like to interact with other parents. 61 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:13,800 If I'm giving advice, I'm also giving a link because it was so easy to then just click 62 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:18,440 that link and be like, oh, these are the qualifications I need to look at. 63 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,000 And these are where the offices are located. 64 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,720 I didn't have to go Google it. 65 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:27,560 So we were in Texas and it was called early childhood intervention here in Idaho. 66 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,440 It's the infant toddler program. 67 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:35,000 But it's that intervention for kids that are under three that need things, need help with 68 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,000 developmental milestones. 69 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:42,000 So I was able to go to an office and do an evaluation with my son. 70 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:46,400 And then he qualified for it and they sent a speech therapist to our home. 71 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:50,960 And we did therapy at home, which I really appreciated having four kids under the age 72 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,960 of four at that time. 73 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,960 Yeah, you didn't want to go anywhere. 74 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,520 Yeah, there was no way we were going anywhere. 75 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:03,240 And the funny story is his little sister, his baby sister sat in on all the things and 76 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,280 she was like making sound progress right along with him. 77 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:09,280 Oh, was it two for one? 78 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:15,200 Yeah, she made the B sound before he did, which was hilarious for all of us. 79 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,840 So he made progress. 80 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:20,480 He didn't make a lot of progress, but he did make progress. 81 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,880 And so I was like, oh, we're going to get this solved. 82 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:23,880 It's great. 83 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,600 So fast forward a little bit. 84 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,080 My husband was in the military. 85 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,320 So that's what we were doing in Texas. 86 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:35,160 He goes to a different duty station in Alabama. 87 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:41,000 And so we moved to Alabama and that's where we have my son's three year old well checked. 88 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:47,360 And I go into that being like, you know, my son also seems to have problems with sensory 89 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,360 processing. 90 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,040 He hated loud rooms. 91 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,480 He didn't like to wear shoes. 92 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:58,240 In some ways he seemed sensory seeking and some ways he seemed sensory avoiding. 93 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:04,680 And so I wanted to get a referral for occupational therapy for sensory processing. 94 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:09,260 So we go into this well checked with a doctor I'd never met before. 95 00:06:09,260 --> 00:06:14,200 And he takes one look at my son and is like, have you thought about autism? 96 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:21,640 And I was so offended because I was like, you know, Noah, what are you even? 97 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:22,640 Right. 98 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:26,840 You know, I was like, you can't just say that. 99 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:30,960 I think he just learned over time, like with these military families, I don't know if I'm 100 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:31,960 going to see him again. 101 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:39,960 I'm just going to say what I say and let the chips fall where they may because he did put 102 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,520 in the referral for an autism evaluation. 103 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:49,440 And you know, after a few months, my son did come back as autistic on that evaluation. 104 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:54,320 And so I was retroactively grateful for that doctor. 105 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,240 But at the time I was very offended. 106 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,240 Yeah. 107 00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,240 What are you saying? 108 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,680 Maybe some changes in bedside manner. 109 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:06,880 Yeah, I was like, dude, what? 110 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:11,640 And you know, and looking back on it, I'm like, of course, if you put a communication 111 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:18,600 delay with a sensory processing problem, like you basically it's like that's autism. 112 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:19,600 Right. 113 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,800 But you know, I'm new to this whole world. 114 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:23,800 I just didn't know. 115 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:28,480 So I was really, really frustrated that he said it that way. 116 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:33,280 But ultimately grateful because he didn't say, oh, let's wait and see. 117 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,240 Or he didn't say, I don't see it. 118 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:39,040 You know, like he I do appreciate that he was direct about it. 119 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,080 He could have been a little, little kinder. 120 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,080 Right. 121 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,960 But you were taken seriously. 122 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,280 So you appreciated that part. 123 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,280 Yeah, I did appreciate that part. 124 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,280 Yeah, he could have. 125 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,680 He could have said it better. 126 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,120 But he I do appreciate it. 127 00:07:54,120 --> 00:08:02,200 So at that same time, right before we got the referral or as we're waiting for the referral 128 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:06,640 appointment, you know, because there's always there's always a long wait for these. 129 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:13,000 My son started at the developmental preschool and he could have started when he turned three 130 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,320 in the spring. 131 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,880 But we were in the middle of the move. 132 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,840 So I just had him start in the fall. 133 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,680 And so his sisters were in the pre-K four program. 134 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,640 And then he was in like their pre-K three program. 135 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,720 And it was really cute. 136 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,760 They had like a pod set up. 137 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:35,400 So they had four pre-K classes all in one big room with this divider. 138 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:39,280 So all three kids were technically in the same room and they would go out and play on 139 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,280 the playground together. 140 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:46,440 It was actually a really cute little set up that all three of them went at the same time. 141 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,480 And he was there kind of on a trial basis. 142 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:54,600 I don't quite remember the terminology, but it was based on his speech delay. 143 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:59,800 They were gathering data and there was all these things that they kind of needed to do. 144 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:05,560 And then I remember at like our first what's the name of the first IEP meeting? 145 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:10,400 What's the official name of it when you're like getting approved for an IEP? 146 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,400 Your eligibility meeting? 147 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:12,400 The eligibility. 148 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,760 That would be it. 149 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:19,040 At the eligibility meeting, we just got the autism diagnosis. 150 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:24,360 And so I remember the SPED teacher being like, well, this is the point where we would be 151 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:29,000 looking at all the data for his speech delay and seeing if he qualified for an IEP. 152 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,480 And she's like, but we have the autism diagnosis. 153 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,240 So we're just going to, he qualifies. 154 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,520 And she like marked a big X somewhere on the paperwork. 155 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:43,880 And I was like, oh, this autism diagnosis is a good thing. 156 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:49,800 Because that was like the first time I realized that like, oh, if you have a diagnosis, you 157 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:50,800 get access to resources. 158 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:51,800 We're opening doors here. 159 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,800 Yeah. 160 00:09:52,800 --> 00:10:01,360 And so it was like, oh, I'm kind of glad we have. 161 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:05,360 And so that was a big moment for me. 162 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:09,160 But I was still kind of in denial that he actually had autism. 163 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:14,040 I was like, oh, no, because it had been kind of borderline. 164 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,440 He wasn't super severe. 165 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:21,480 And I know that what is severe, what is high functioning, those are kind of all relative 166 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:22,480 terms. 167 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:27,840 But even the psychologists who did it had been like, we really could go either way on 168 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:28,840 this. 169 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:32,280 But she ultimately did go with the diagnosis. 170 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,720 But I was still kind of in denial. 171 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,960 Like, oh, no, we're just not my son. 172 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:42,560 And it wasn't until. 173 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:45,800 So they did this pumpkin day thing at the preschool. 174 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,880 And my son didn't want to take the picture on his own. 175 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:52,800 So I was sitting there with him holding the pumpkin and he's crying in the picture. 176 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:56,800 So they send the picture home to me because they send it home to all the parents. 177 00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:57,880 And I glanced at it. 178 00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:58,880 I don't know what it is. 179 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:03,200 I thought it was like the cover of a brochure for parents of special needs. 180 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,400 So I'm like, why are they sending this home? 181 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,400 I don't need it. 182 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,400 And then I look at the picture. 183 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,400 I'm like, oh, that's me and my son. 184 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,400 Yeah, maybe. 185 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,400 Maybe there actually is a need here. 186 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:23,040 So that was kind of another turning point where I was like, OK, this this is my world. 187 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:24,920 This is our life right now. 188 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,360 We're we're going to do this. 189 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:27,360 All right. 190 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,560 Literally and figuratively the poster child. 191 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:30,560 Right. 192 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:31,560 Yeah. 193 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:38,040 And and what's really sweet, actually, though, is the next year they do this. 194 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,040 They did the same thing. 195 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,040 They did something day again. 196 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:46,520 And I went again and he picked up his own pumpkin, sat on the little table by himself, 197 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:51,560 fed cheese, you know, like you could see the progress in the two pictures. 198 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:52,560 It's really amazing. 199 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:53,560 Oh, yeah. 200 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:58,840 So so that that developmental preschool in Alabama was amazing. 201 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:02,560 Like we just had good staff there. 202 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:03,560 They taught him so much. 203 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:06,520 He got so used to being around other kids. 204 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:11,120 Like it really met so many of his needs to be in there. 205 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:17,040 So I just I cannot say enough about like getting kids into those early intervention school 206 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:23,680 programs, like get them in as soon as they qualify because they're so good. 207 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:30,640 We were trying to do speech therapy and occupational therapy privately, but we had to drive 30 208 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:34,400 minutes out of our area to go to them. 209 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:39,080 My other kids hated waiting in the in the like the break room, not the break room, the 210 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,080 waiting room. 211 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,080 Yeah. 212 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:46,520 And and so to have all those services and everything happening at the preschool was 213 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,520 just just life saving. 214 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,520 It's a game changer. 215 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,520 Wonderful. 216 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:52,520 Yeah. 217 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:59,320 So that was kind of like initial diagnosis and then acceptance phase. 218 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:06,920 And then we just kind of moved on to the like how do we manage and live with this and thrive 219 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:11,360 with this phase, which we still are in really. 220 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:18,240 But because we were a military family, it kind of spanned and more than just like Idaho, 221 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,440 like we were still in Alabama at this point. 222 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:26,400 So we kind of bridge some of that to get us to Idaho. 223 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:30,160 You see when when Eiffel comes into this. 224 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,120 So let's see. 225 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,320 So we're in Alabama. 226 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,320 We're doing well. 227 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:38,960 Oh, he was in ABA in Alabama as well. 228 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:43,120 I don't know if this still exists, but I'm going to mention it in case you have any military 229 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,120 families and it still exists. 230 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:47,480 There's a there was a program. 231 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:52,880 There still is a program called the Echo program through TriCare and another autism mom, because 232 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,880 it's always another autism. 233 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:55,880 Right. 234 00:13:55,880 --> 00:14:02,280 She she told me about it and and she's like, you know, it's going to be a lot of paperwork. 235 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:03,280 It's worth it. 236 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:09,160 And yes, it was a lot of paperwork, but it did get my son into ABA insurance covered 237 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,240 all of it. 238 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:14,880 And we had a really good lady that would come and and she would work on things at home. 239 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:16,280 She also took him places. 240 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:21,560 I specifically remember her taking him to McDonald's for french fries and the french 241 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,440 fries were what got him there. 242 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:27,520 But while they were there, they were practicing being in a crowded room and behaving appropriately 243 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:28,960 and things like that. 244 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,560 So that was a really good situation. 245 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:38,360 Unfortunately, we just weren't there long enough to really spend much time with that. 246 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:44,440 I think maybe we were with with that company for about six months before my husband. 247 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,440 It was time to move again. 248 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,120 Yeah, with four little kids. 249 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,120 Yeah. 250 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:53,360 So we had some progress, but then then things came up. 251 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:59,160 So my husband ended up leaving the military and we moved in with his parents in Utah. 252 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:06,600 And fortunately, fortunately, where we live, the the local preschool or the local elementary 253 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:11,240 school had a preschool for sped kids. 254 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:19,280 And then they'd also opened it up to regular kids who could come in and help be be peers 255 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,120 with the sped kids. 256 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:26,960 And I think this is a good example of like where you're giving services to children with 257 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:33,180 special needs, but other children are benefiting because they wouldn't have had that preschool 258 00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:36,240 without the sped kids needing it. 259 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,240 Exactly. 260 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:42,200 So preschool isn't really a thing in Utah everywhere through the school district. 261 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:46,880 And so this was a really special situation for that local school to have that. 262 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:51,960 So I don't know how much the other parents knew how much they were benefiting from being 263 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:58,640 in a class with special needs kids, but it was a benefit for them. 264 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:04,480 And so so he finished out his pre-K four year in Utah. 265 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:10,800 And then we had already decided my husband was going to go to school in Hoka-Tello, went 266 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,840 to ISU. 267 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,920 But we needed something to do for the summer. 268 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,080 And this is just a fun little aside. 269 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:22,480 I ended up getting a job in Yellowstone National Park and we moved there for the summer and 270 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,480 lived. 271 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:28,080 Yeah, we lived in a 25 foot RV with four kids. 272 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,960 Oh, well, that doesn't sound very fun. 273 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,080 But the other part of it, what an experience. 274 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,760 Yeah, it was amazing. 275 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:39,760 Like I worked 40 hours a week and my husband was like the stay at home RV dad. 276 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,440 He had our kids out doing all sorts of stuff. 277 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:48,240 And my son was just in heaven, but he never fully understood what Yellowstone meant. 278 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,880 He just thought that meant geysers. 279 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:55,520 So we'd be sitting, we lived in Canyon Village and so we're in the literally the middle of 280 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:56,520 Yellowstone. 281 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:00,120 He's like, I want to go see Yellowstone National Park. 282 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,920 Look outside your window, buddy. 283 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,520 Look out the window. 284 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,040 But he was in heaven and loved it. 285 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:10,880 And so it was it was a good experience for our whole family. 286 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:17,800 And then then we moved to Pocatello and we like moved in days before the school year 287 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:18,800 started. 288 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:24,320 And I'd been in communication with the school and I'd been, you know, sending them the IEP 289 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,280 paperwork and sending them everything I had. 290 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:35,120 And they kind of drug their feet a little bit on acknowledging that they had a child 291 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:39,040 with special needs coming into their school. 292 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:43,520 Knowing what I know now, I think I would have pushed a little bit more, but I, you know, 293 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,520 we were we were trying to move. 294 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,720 So it was like, whatever, just get him enrolled. 295 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,240 And I guess we'll let the tips fall where they may. 296 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:54,520 But I kept being like, he's going to need a lot of help. 297 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,920 And I assume that he was going to go at the time. 298 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:02,440 I don't know if they still have it, but they had kind of a magnet school for kids with 299 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:03,440 special needs. 300 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,680 And I was assuming they were going to have them go there, but they never did. 301 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,400 He was always in his mainstream kindergarten class. 302 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:17,640 And I don't know, looking back, if that was the best move, but it is what ended up happening 303 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:18,760 that year. 304 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,280 And we made it work. 305 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:24,760 But it was kind of a rough transition for him to suddenly be in like a mainstream class 306 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:32,800 after being in kind of these more hybrid type situations that he had been in. 307 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,960 That being said, we loved that school. 308 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:35,960 The staff was amazing. 309 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:45,440 You know, they just I just don't think that I pushed hard enough for his exact needs. 310 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:53,080 So that year was rough, partly because I don't think he was in the right class and partly 311 00:18:53,080 --> 00:19:00,720 because at the time, Pocatello did the kindergarten every or all day long, every other day. 312 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,200 Oh, interesting. 313 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,080 Yeah, they don't do it anymore. 314 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,760 Because now we have all day kindergarten every day now in the state. 315 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,440 But at the time, that's how they had it set up. 316 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:20,040 And so they did he would go Tuesday, Thursday every week, and then rotating Mondays. 317 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:23,680 So some Mondays he would go, some Mondays he wouldn't. 318 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:29,640 And then when he wasn't at school, he was in daycare. 319 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:35,920 My kids went to the early learning center at ISU, which was fabulous. 320 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:41,360 I cannot say enough about how good that daycare was. 321 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:47,200 But it did make it rough because he would play all day at daycare and then he would 322 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,440 have to go to school the next day and work. 323 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,440 And he did. 324 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,440 Yeah. 325 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,440 Yeah. 326 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:59,960 I don't think any kid actually would like that inconsistency, but it was really rough 327 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:04,440 and so he was just falling apart by the end of the school year. 328 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:05,800 We kind of all were falling apart. 329 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:06,800 I was like, what day is it? 330 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:07,800 Where are you going today? 331 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:08,800 I don't even know. 332 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,800 Yeah. 333 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,800 How do you keep track of that? 334 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,800 I mean, it was like, it was just insane. 335 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:19,240 I don't know how anyone handled it. 336 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:25,680 So and then at daycare, he was starting to fight towards the end of the school year. 337 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,560 And so I was like, OK, I know this kid needs intervention. 338 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:33,280 I know he needs some sort of ADA, probably some speech therapy. 339 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:38,480 He was getting a little at school, but you know, it's not quite enough. 340 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:43,480 But I mean, my work schedule, my husband's school schedule, I was just like, there's 341 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,560 no time to take him anywhere. 342 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,360 Like we just didn't have the situation. 343 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:53,000 We didn't have family that could take him to an appointment. 344 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,720 We just we were if we were on our own. 345 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:59,440 So what do you do again? 346 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,680 I got on Facebook and this time I was in a mom's group on Facebook. 347 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,160 I think it was Southeast Idaho Autism Moms. 348 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,160 We'll give a shout out to that group. 349 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:09,160 Shout out. 350 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:16,240 So I asked them there and I was just like, you know, is there any sort of therapy that 351 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,680 will come to the client? 352 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:23,440 Like, you know, they could come to his daycare and maybe pull him out and do speech therapy 353 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,360 or they could do ADA at the daycare. 354 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:26,720 Like, I'm like, what is there? 355 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,080 Is this exist? 356 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,280 How do we get creative? 357 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:36,080 Yeah. And some mom on there was like, you need to call I-Pol. 358 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:39,800 So that's a shout out to that mom. 359 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:40,800 Yeah. 360 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,480 This is when I pull into the story. 361 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:49,320 And so I called I-Pol and there was a lovely staff lady named Amy with you guys at the 362 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:50,320 time. 363 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,320 And she walked me through everything. 364 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,400 And I was going to check. 365 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:59,440 I'm not sure if I saved the note that I took, but I feel like I did because they were like 366 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:00,440 that special to me. 367 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:06,400 The notes contained answers, the little handwritten. 368 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:07,400 Yeah. 369 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,240 And then she sent me an email with good stuff and links. 370 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:11,240 Oh yeah. 371 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,240 You know how important those are. 372 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,240 Yeah. 373 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:20,360 And so she talked me through applying for children's about mental disability services 374 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:24,080 and gave me, you know, all the steps and everything. 375 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,200 We already had Medicaid and we already had the autism diagnosis. 376 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,200 So we were pretty set. 377 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:32,680 You know, we were like, okay, we got these two things. 378 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:38,360 The problem was at the time Liberty, which is the third party like eligibility assessment 379 00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:44,480 service people, they had just taken over the contract and they were working through, I 380 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,440 don't know how many months long of a backlog. 381 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:54,160 So I called I-Pol maybe April, May of that year. 382 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:59,160 We didn't even get an evaluation till like August. 383 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:03,160 As we were waiting, I was like, I remember telling the daycare leader, I was like, I 384 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:07,680 think all of his behaviors are going to be like outgrown by the time we get there. 385 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,680 He's going to be a different kid. 386 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:11,680 Yeah. 387 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:19,480 I was like, oh, this is taking a while, but it did eventually work out and he did qualify 388 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:20,480 for everything. 389 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:26,800 So then we got assigned a caseworker who was amazing. 390 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:27,800 I can't say enough about her. 391 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:32,960 She doesn't work there anymore, but her name was Lisa and she was the best. 392 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,440 She had my back all the time. 393 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,900 Any question I had, she'd answer. 394 00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:37,980 She was great. 395 00:23:37,980 --> 00:23:44,440 And so then she gave me a list of the providers in the area and I think I called one and that 396 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,440 was the one that worked out. 397 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,440 Oh gosh, that's lucky. 398 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,320 Yeah, it really is. 399 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:55,560 I don't know if that's possible today, but it was in 2018. 400 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,440 Oh, those pre pandemic times, right? 401 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:00,440 Yeah. 402 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:06,760 So we were able to start doing, I never get the initials right, but I know we did HI, 403 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,480 we did habilitative intervention and then there was some other alphabet soups that we 404 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:16,680 were doing, but they were able to send staff to the daycare and start working with my son 405 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:21,440 on like appropriate ways to interact with children when you're in a giant room, you're 406 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:25,800 in a room with a bunch of kids and they're all playing, you know, how do you handle that? 407 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:30,640 And so that was a lifeline. 408 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:34,720 And then they also, there was some, they would take them out in the community too. 409 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:38,680 So there was a little bit of work in the daycare and then work in the community. 410 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,880 So it was like, oh, we did it. 411 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,000 We got it figured out. 412 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,120 So that fall, his first grade teacher was amazing. 413 00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:55,320 Like my kids have had good teachers, but she like stands out among all of them. 414 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,360 Going the extra mile. 415 00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:00,880 Yeah, she worked so hard with him. 416 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:04,080 And at the time he wasn't nonverbal around me. 417 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:09,480 Like I wouldn't have said he was nonverbal, but she felt like he came to her class nonverbal 418 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:13,440 and then started talking in class in her class. 419 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:14,440 So that was huge. 420 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:18,800 But you know, he started talking at school in her class. 421 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:22,600 She also, she was like, do you have him on medication? 422 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:27,200 Cause this isn't the kid that was described to me. 423 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:32,800 Because she thought he would be a little bit wilder, I guess. 424 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:37,360 And I was like, honestly, it's the fact that he's all day every day now. 425 00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:39,480 We're not on that crazy kindergarten schedule. 426 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:41,840 Like he knows what to expect every day. 427 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:43,640 That consistency helps. 428 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:44,640 Yeah. 429 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,400 So yeah, I don't know how anyone handled that. 430 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,400 That Coca-Cola schedule. 431 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,240 It was crazy. 432 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,240 One thing I want to say before we move on, I don't want to forget this. 433 00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:03,440 My kids were in daycare and we were able to afford it because of the Idaho childcare program. 434 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,440 Oh yeah. 435 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:08,480 Which is another thing that I cannot like phrase enough. 436 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,760 So I do not want to forget to mention that. 437 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:17,800 There's no way I could have afforded to put my kids in daycare without that program. 438 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:23,280 So if people are weighing the pros and cons of going back to work, but is it going to 439 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:24,280 be worth it daycare wise? 440 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:30,480 Look into Idaho childcare program because it is a lifesaver. 441 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:35,640 We can add some, I have a feeling you're going to love this, but we can add some links to 442 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,920 those resources in the description for this podcast. 443 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:39,920 Yeah. 444 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,920 I love the links in that. 445 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,640 Just for you, everybody gets a link. 446 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:44,640 You get a link. 447 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:45,640 You get a link. 448 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:46,640 That's great. 449 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:47,640 Oh, I love that. 450 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:48,640 Okay. 451 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:49,640 So we're up to first grade. 452 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:58,640 My husband finishes his program at ISU and he graduates. 453 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:03,680 He gets a job in Quinn Falls and then I stay in Coca-Cola with the kids while we're kind 454 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,160 of house hunting between cities. 455 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:07,800 And it's the summer. 456 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:13,520 And I'm like, okay, I love my son, but he requires a lot of attention. 457 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:14,520 He's a fiddler. 458 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,520 He has a lot of energy. 459 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,240 I couldn't just leave him alone. 460 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:26,480 And I was like, how am I going to solo parent this child through the summer? 461 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,240 Because by then I'd stopped working. 462 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:35,280 And so the kids were home with me all summer and we're like, oh boy, what are we going 463 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:36,280 to do? 464 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:43,960 And so and her again, children's DDS, we still had a big budget left over. 465 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:53,560 And so my caseworker was able to throw everything into, I never can remember the exact alphabet 466 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:58,600 super bathroom in here, but she was able to throw everything into therapy so that my son 467 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:03,480 kind of had the unofficial daycare type of intervention. 468 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:04,480 Okay. 469 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:05,480 Yeah. 470 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:13,200 I even never remember what it's called, but we did 20 hours of therapy a week that summer 471 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,600 where they had him out doing things. 472 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:20,040 And a lot of times I would meet up at the park with my other kids and then the therapist 473 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:24,400 would bring my son and we would hang out. 474 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:28,280 And then when he got overwhelmed, they'd go somewhere else. 475 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:33,240 And it was just nice to kind of have another adult like just kind of there. 476 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,760 Another set of eyes and help and everything. 477 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:36,760 Yeah. 478 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:37,760 Fully responsible for him. 479 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,040 And then I was able to focus on my girls. 480 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:44,840 I remember we made bread one day and I was like, there's no way we could have done this. 481 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:46,040 She was here. 482 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:48,760 We love him dearly, but there's no way. 483 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:49,760 Yeah. 484 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,640 It wouldn't have been edible bread after that, right? 485 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:53,640 Yeah, it wouldn't. 486 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:55,840 I don't even think we would have got it in the oven. 487 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,120 Like something would have happened. 488 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:02,960 And then he also did extended school year that year. 489 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:09,480 And so he was, yeah, which I love that they picked him up on a bus and took him directly 490 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,560 from our house to the school. 491 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:12,560 It was great. 492 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,800 So that was a good solution there too. 493 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:22,200 So between the 20 hours of service or services and then the extended school year for whatever 494 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,000 amount of weeks we did, we had that summer covered. 495 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,160 So then we moved between falls in August. 496 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:32,080 We literally closed down our house on the first day of school. 497 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,920 Oh my goodness. 498 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:41,080 Once again, I kind of just dropped the special needs kid into the lap of the school. 499 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:45,360 It was like, I want to hear a lot, have fun. 500 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:46,360 And I tried. 501 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:47,360 Let me know how it goes. 502 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:48,360 Yeah. 503 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:53,680 Once again, tried to warn them, but they just didn't quite get it. 504 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:54,680 Right. 505 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:58,760 So I was like, I'm sorry. 506 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:03,080 And so that was another rough year. 507 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,920 We kind of had a rough time that second grade year. 508 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:12,120 And I feel like maybe we would have figured it all out, but then it was 2020 and we all 509 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,320 know what happened in 2020. 510 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,320 I think I blacked that part out. 511 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,960 Yeah, really. 512 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,280 I think I did too. 513 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,600 So all my kids were home. 514 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:24,600 It was tricky. 515 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,440 It was tricky to figure out what we were doing with behavioral therapy. 516 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:31,280 Were they here to help with school or were they supposed to take him somewhere? 517 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,040 We've never really figured it out. 518 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,040 Every day was an adventure. 519 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,040 I can only imagine. 520 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,040 Yeah, it was hard. 521 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:45,840 And of course, we didn't know is school going to start in April again or is it going to 522 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,280 start May 1st or nevermind, it's not starting at all. 523 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:51,000 It was just so hard to plan ahead. 524 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,000 It was rough. 525 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:58,600 But the good thing that did come out of that time is he had so much time with his sisters 526 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,880 that he actually learned how to play pretend. 527 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:03,080 Oh, what a big deal. 528 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,320 Yeah, it was a really big deal. 529 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,960 He's never really pretended before. 530 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:15,400 And so to see him playing their games with them, it was really cute and it was really 531 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:16,400 good for him. 532 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:25,600 We ended up deciding to homeschool in the 2020-2021 year. 533 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:30,880 Because our elementary school was going to every other day and rotating Mondays. 534 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,480 Oh, no, you've seen that before. 535 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:37,280 I already know I hate the schedule. 536 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,280 We're not doing that. 537 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:45,120 So we homeschooled, which we all learned I'm terrible. 538 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:50,200 The joke is that we discovered I'm more suited for administration than actual classroom teaching 539 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:55,360 because I could make a chart and I could plan out what we were going to do. 540 00:31:55,360 --> 00:32:00,480 But when it came to actually teaching my kids anything, I was like, I don't know how this 541 00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:01,480 works. 542 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,520 So it was an interesting year for us. 543 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,520 We can only imagine. 544 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:11,240 Yeah, but because we did have a little extra time, I was like, you know what, I've wanted 545 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,120 my son in speech therapy for a while. 546 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,000 I just haven't felt like we've had the time for it. 547 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,840 And so I got him into speech therapy about that time. 548 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:24,920 And that was really good to get him doing some speech therapy and just kind of working 549 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:30,000 on like he could talk, but just kind of working on more like the parts of speech that he needed 550 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,240 to work on and stuff. 551 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:32,920 So that was good. 552 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:39,880 And then in 2020-2021, in the fall, we went back to our school. 553 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:43,960 And I was really worried because I was like, okay, we never quite had this fully figured 554 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:44,960 out in second grade. 555 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,760 And now we're going to start fourth grade after a whole year of him being able to eat 556 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:52,080 corn dogs and have fun whenever he wanted. 557 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,240 So I was really worried. 558 00:32:54,240 --> 00:33:04,120 Fortunately, the school had changed principals and the new principal was really accommodating. 559 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:08,480 And so I emailed her before school started and I was like, okay, here are all my concerns. 560 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,960 I don't know how my kids are going to handle going back to school. 561 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:17,800 And she had him come over and she gave him a personal tour of the whole school and reminded 562 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,400 him where the lunchroom was. 563 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:20,400 Yeah. 564 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,360 And had him meet his teacher. 565 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:25,000 And you know, it was not back to school night. 566 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,000 So it wasn't crowded. 567 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,000 It wasn't busy. 568 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:31,000 Like it was just perfect. 569 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,280 So we got off to a really good start in fourth grade. 570 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,160 And then fifth grade was also really good. 571 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:40,000 So it was kind of rough starting at that school. 572 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:46,520 But when we restarted, I think everything was really well. 573 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:50,880 And really that's kind of where we are right now. 574 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:56,080 We finished speech therapy not too long ago. 575 00:33:56,080 --> 00:34:01,440 He started occupational therapies and then finished that not too long ago. 576 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:05,880 So we're still doing behavioral intervention stuff. 577 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:10,720 And even that I'm kind of like, I don't think we need this as much as we used to, but I'm 578 00:34:10,720 --> 00:34:15,920 hanging on to it because I don't know what middle school will bring and what puberty 579 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:16,920 will bring. 580 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,240 So I'm like, we'll keep our spot here. 581 00:34:19,240 --> 00:34:21,240 The transitions never end. 582 00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:22,240 Yeah. 583 00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:28,560 So I'm like, we'll probably need this even though at the moment things are good because 584 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:30,640 now he's matured a lot. 585 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:34,200 So he can be left alone in a room for a while. 586 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,640 He doesn't fiddle with everything. 587 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:42,120 He can interact with people and they understand what he's saying. 588 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:43,760 He can be in loud places. 589 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,840 He self-advocates like, oh, I need to remember to bring my headphones. 590 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:48,840 Wow. 591 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,840 So yeah, it's really... 592 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:59,680 I look at this child that I went into the doctor's office with when he was three. 593 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:04,200 And the doctor was like, have you considered autism? 594 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:08,200 And I think about how difficult that three-year-old was. 595 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:15,400 And now I look at my 11-year-old and I'm like, yeah, we still have the autism, but we've 596 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:19,440 learned how to live with it and how to behave correctly. 597 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:23,520 And it's very good. 598 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:29,040 Would you say that the early intervention really played a pivotal role in that? 599 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:30,040 Yes. 600 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:35,960 Like, I can't imagine if we'd just done the whole wait and see thing like, oh, well, maybe 601 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:41,600 he'll outgrow it or, oh, this is just a phase. 602 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:48,880 I can't even imagine because yeah, it was so critical to have him in all the various 603 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:52,320 interventions that we had him in throughout his life. 604 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,560 Because they helped him. 605 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:55,560 Yeah. 606 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:59,320 I always say, I'm like, therapists are miracle workers. 607 00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:03,520 They do amazing things. 608 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:07,880 When he learned how to tie his shoes, I was like, are you kidding me? 609 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,880 I never thought he would tie his shoes. 610 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:13,200 I thought we'd just do Velcro or bungee cords his entire life. 611 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:17,880 And then within just the few sessions, the occupational therapist taught me how to do 612 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:18,880 it. 613 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:25,120 When you're the parent of an autistic child, the milestones that you celebrate really change. 614 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:29,960 Yes, that is very true. 615 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:39,200 I remember when we first were getting into the therapy when he was in first grade, the 616 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:46,200 lady who did kind of our goals and everything, she asked, what is your, what is a long term 617 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:47,200 goal? 618 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:48,200 What do you visualize? 619 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:51,560 And I remember I said, I'm like, I would love for all my kids to be able to walk to the 620 00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:58,520 park without ending up on the news, you know, somebody getting kidnapped or somebody getting 621 00:36:58,520 --> 00:36:59,520 hurt or something. 622 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:03,560 And, and at the time I was like, I cannot even imagine that. 623 00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,560 Like that feels high in the sky. 624 00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:10,800 Well, on Sunday, I took a nap, my husband took a nap and one of my 12 year old girls 625 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:14,800 and my son went to the park and came back. 626 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:16,440 I didn't even know they went. 627 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:17,440 My husband knew they went. 628 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:27,200 I didn't even know they went until they came back and I was like, wow, it happened. 629 00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:32,520 So yeah, because of all the interventions and stuff, and I'm only one person, I can't 630 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:33,520 do everything. 631 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:39,360 Like, yeah, I'm the parent, but there's things I can't help my son do. 632 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:45,040 And so to have another adult that comes in with skills and kind of with a different relationship 633 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:50,280 to, because I'm his face to face, I can't push him as well as some other people with 634 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:54,960 a different role in his life can push him. 635 00:37:54,960 --> 00:38:00,840 And so, you know, like one of his things, I taught him how to tell time on a Facebook. 636 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,040 Like I couldn't do that. 637 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:07,760 We didn't have that type of relationship, but he could learn from somebody else. 638 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:15,520 So yeah, all the therapy, all the intervention, I'm all for it. 639 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,880 So that's kind of our story. 640 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:22,080 I don't know if you have any other questions. 641 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:23,920 Oh, I also, I have one more. 642 00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:24,920 I'm curious. 643 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:30,840 I know your son was very young when you were kind of doing your tour, your tour of the 644 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:37,040 United States, but I'm curious if there was a big difference in services from state to 645 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:44,880 state or if you didn't really feel that because those weren't accessible to him at that time. 646 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,280 I don't know. 647 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:49,520 I was so new to everything. 648 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:55,320 Like even when I went to my first IEP meeting, I was like, what are we doing? 649 00:38:55,320 --> 00:39:00,680 I just had no clue what was available or what the processes were. 650 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:07,440 So I didn't notice a ton from state to state. 651 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:12,440 And really because we moved right as he aged out of infant toddler, I didn't know. 652 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:16,320 Like I couldn't compare those. 653 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:24,720 The one thing I did notice, Utah, like I was a little, the fact that they didn't have a 654 00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:30,960 developmental preschool at every school district, like super accessible. 655 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:32,720 Let me rephrase that. 656 00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:34,760 They had one in every school district. 657 00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:36,880 They didn't have one at every school. 658 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:44,400 And that was different to me because I knew like it was just very nice in Texas and in 659 00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:49,580 Alabama that they had pre-K as just like a standard. 660 00:39:49,580 --> 00:39:55,160 And then to go to Utah and Idaho where it's not a standard, that actually was kind of 661 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:58,080 an adjustment. 662 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:03,840 And I think a lot of parents, I know I did before I learned differently, that I just 663 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:08,440 assumed that the services that are in Idaho were available in every state and vice versa, 664 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:11,160 that we were all the same and we're not. 665 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:12,160 Yeah. 666 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:17,920 And so, and like I never went through whatever the equivalent to children's VDSs in Utah 667 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:21,360 because I knew we weren't there, going to be there very long. 668 00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:24,600 So I couldn't tell you what that process is. 669 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,960 Like, so I just, I guess in every state I kind of had a different need. 670 00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:32,040 So I never, I never really compared. 671 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:40,160 I do have to say that it is nice that there are services like the infant toddler program 672 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:41,160 throughout each state. 673 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:44,600 I don't know what they look like in every state, but it is really cool. 674 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,880 Like no matter where you are, that does exist. 675 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:53,040 And then the IEPs, even though they're like, they don't transfer specifically, we just 676 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:57,880 have to redo them when we move, but they are legally binding. 677 00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:05,360 You know, I could show up in Utah with his Alabama IEP and be like, hey, we got this 678 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:06,360 thing. 679 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:07,840 And they were like, okay, yeah, we know what that is. 680 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:12,840 We know that he's going to need services. 681 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:20,240 So it was nice that those things do kind of have like some standardization. 682 00:41:20,240 --> 00:41:21,240 Right that there's continuity. 683 00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:22,240 Yeah. 684 00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:28,600 So I wasn't going to each state being like, so how do we do it here? 685 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:34,000 So I do appreciate that. 686 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,480 Well thank you so much everyone for listening in. 687 00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:43,560 If you're in Idaho or planning on moving to Idaho and have any questions about systems 688 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:52,080 or services for children with disabilities, please reach out to us on our website at ipulidaho.org. 689 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:56,040 That's I-P-U-L-I-D-A-H-O.org. 690 00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:57,840 Be sure to come back next time. 691 00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:02,960 Until then, I'm Allison and it has been a wonderful experience talking with Valerie. 692 00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:04,960 And this has been Unlimited Parenting. 693 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:05,960 Thanks for listening. 694 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,960 I hope you enjoyed this video.