1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,920 Hello everyone. 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,160 Welcome back to Unlimited Parenting. 3 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:16,840 Today I'm very excited to have a special incredible guest with us. 4 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:19,280 Her name is Lori Rogers. 5 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:25,320 She is foremost a caregiver of her adult son diagnosed with autism. 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:31,160 Lori is the co-founder of Parents Assisting Special Educators, a vehicle that provides 7 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:38,040 vital equipment, supplies to support special needs classrooms and teachers, and the co-founder 8 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:44,340 of WIPOC, which creates safe and productive learning spaces for special needs adults. 9 00:00:44,340 --> 00:00:50,760 And if that wasn't enough, in 2011 Lori began implementing the practices of positive 10 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:56,420 activity, which we'll talk about today, and experienced a shift in her approach to caregiving. 11 00:00:56,420 --> 00:01:03,060 And she likes to help audiences do the same, implementing simple daily activities and mindset 12 00:01:03,060 --> 00:01:07,800 shifts that attract, hopefully, a life-changing experience. 13 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,800 She's also a Spelling to Communicate advocate, which I hope we have time to talk about as 14 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:12,800 well. 15 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:18,040 So whether you're listening in as a parent, a caregiver, or you're just curious about 16 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:22,480 how to empower a caregiver in your life, you're in the right spot. 17 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:23,560 So we're going to dive in. 18 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:27,400 After that lengthy intro, let's welcome Lori. 19 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,400 Thank you for being here. 20 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:29,600 Oh my gosh. 21 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:38,360 I'm so excited to talk to caregivers and parents, or those that know them and care about them, 22 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:45,840 because it's such an untapped market of, I guess I would call them, appreciating that 23 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,040 segment and helping them cope every day. 24 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,040 Because, yes, yeah. 25 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,040 So I'm psyched to be here. 26 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,040 Thank you. 27 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:59,160 Would you mind to start by sharing a little bit about what brought you into the role or 28 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:03,160 what inspired you to create positive activity? 29 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,160 Sure. 30 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:10,200 Neil and I own a marketing company where we do corporate swag for people. 31 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,200 And we've owned it for 27 years. 32 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,300 And, you know, it's all great, fun stuff. 33 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:20,520 So back in 2008, 2009, there was the recession in the country. 34 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:25,360 And many of our clients lost their jobs, lost their budgets. 35 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,600 They would stop buying things from us. 36 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:33,380 And like swag and gifty things were last on the totem pole as far as spending was going. 37 00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:40,440 So I was in this, you know, like, uh, you know, worried state of anxiety and fear and 38 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,680 oh my gosh, what's going to happen? 39 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:50,560 And at the same time, Craig, our son diagnosed with autism was transitioning from high school 40 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:57,200 into the adult world, which is a whole new follow backs as I'm sure parents and caregivers 41 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,200 know. 42 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:07,760 It's wrought with, I guess I would say, undetermined paths in some cases. 43 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:11,920 And so, you know, there was that worry and that fear of all of that going on. 44 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:13,240 My daughter was home. 45 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,600 She was a senior in college. 46 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,120 She had suffered a head injury in college. 47 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:19,760 She played college sports. 48 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:23,480 So she was home dealing with all of that. 49 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:29,000 And given that I was already sort of a worrywart to begin with and all of those things sort 50 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:36,360 of compounded and I didn't have the appropriate skills and the resilience to sort of deal 51 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,440 with it all. 52 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:44,240 And I just was like, oh my gosh, my daughter who couldn't drive at the time because of 53 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:48,120 her injury asked me to take her to a wellness fair. 54 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:53,760 So I took her to the fair, picked up a few books, listened to a few presentations on 55 00:03:53,760 --> 00:04:01,520 shifting your mindset, shifting your daily activities to help you feel better, more positive, 56 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:05,120 calmer, increase your resilience, like all of these things. 57 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,480 I'm like, wait, what? 58 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,800 I have control over how I can feel each day. 59 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:17,400 I have control over my joy level, what I'm thinking, what I'm attracting into my life. 60 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,480 I can change my subconscious. 61 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,880 I had no idea these things even existed. 62 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,960 It didn't mean I didn't know. 63 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:28,120 So I grabbed some books and I read a bunch of articles. 64 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,400 I listened to a bunch of researchers. 65 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,600 I went on YouTube and listened to a bunch of Ted talks. 66 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:41,800 I was like, oh my gosh, all of this stuff is being researched to help you be more resilient, 67 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:49,360 lower your stress level, be open to more positive ideas to problem solve. 68 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,520 And I didn't know this. 69 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:51,920 I said, well, this is ridiculous. 70 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,600 I'm going to start doing these things. 71 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:57,160 And what do I have to lose? 72 00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:03,240 I take 20 minutes in the morning and I started these activities and then once I realized 73 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:07,960 that they were science-backed and there's studies behind them, I'm like, okay, Neil, 74 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:08,960 this is ridiculous. 75 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,120 My husband, Neil, this is ridiculous. 76 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:16,680 I need to teach people these things, especially parents of special needs children and their 77 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,200 caregivers. 78 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:23,040 I want to teach people these activities and why it's helpful to do them. 79 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,160 So that's how it started back in 2012. 80 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:33,080 So it's been 12 years and I've learned more and more each year as we go along and I just 81 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:38,880 add them into my daily routine and I talk about them on podcasts or in workshops or 82 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:44,960 in keynote speaking or that kind of thing because they're free. 83 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,420 They're easy. 84 00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:47,560 It's time. 85 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,360 It's your time. 86 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:53,400 And so that's how it started back then. 87 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:54,400 Yes. 88 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:59,800 So it's not only things that you have found that are researched, but you've done your 89 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:06,160 own research on them and shown over a decade how they've benefited you and other people 90 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,520 that you've helped. 91 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,440 You've almost conducted your own research too. 92 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:11,440 Right. 93 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:19,680 I feel like I'm a double-blind placebo study in and of myself because I did them and the 94 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:24,640 research has shown if you do an activity for 21 days it becomes a habit. 95 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:28,600 So would you ever leave the house or wake up in the morning and not brush your teeth? 96 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:32,800 It's just like, you know how that's automatic and you just do it or wash your face. 97 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,400 It's do you just do it? 98 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:39,640 Well, these activities have become habits for me and I can't move on with my day until 99 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,880 I do them. 100 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:49,580 And then over the years I saw how our business grew, how I became more resilient, how Craig 101 00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:53,400 became calmer and happier because I was. 102 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:59,780 I'm curious about where the name positive activity comes from. 103 00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:05,040 It seems really intuitive that you do these positive activities to make yourself be better, 104 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:10,040 to feel better, to be more present and to hopefully that trickles down into your parenting. 105 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:11,720 Is that where you came up with the name? 106 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:18,160 Well, I didn't really know at the time that it was going to also help me with my parenting 107 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,760 and caregiving. 108 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:25,600 At the time I was just thinking, oh, this is going to help us rebound from our business. 109 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:33,280 This is going to help me feel more positive and light and airy and have more joy every 110 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:39,800 day so that these little downturns in life don't take me to the ditch anymore, which 111 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,860 they don't. 112 00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:45,100 At the time I was just thinking business. 113 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:50,220 I wasn't really thinking about how it was affecting my caregiving or how it was affecting 114 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:59,640 Craig and our relationship and ideas and problem solving in his life. 115 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:03,440 It was, oh, wait, wait a minute. 116 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:07,560 This is also helping him as well. 117 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:18,200 So when your mind is more positive and joyful and lighter and airy, it is, when I say airy, 118 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:24,340 I mean your heart is lighter and airier as well. 119 00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:31,080 You are, your mind is more open to creative possibilities and creative ideas to help you 120 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,540 problem solve. 121 00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:41,920 For instance, when Craig was transitioning out of high school into the adult world, we 122 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,680 started the program LifeOp. 123 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:48,160 Life opportunities is what it is. 124 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:55,560 We went to our Health and Human Services Agency here in Nashua and said, why can't we connect 125 00:08:55,560 --> 00:09:02,760 Craig and you all with Nashua Community College and see if we can get a room there, see if 126 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:07,160 they can help us create some kind of a community where there's a structured environment every 127 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,560 day because Craig loved going to school. 128 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,480 Well, come to find out. 129 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,800 We went and met with the president of Nashua Community College. 130 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,160 She has a grandson with autism at the time. 131 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,160 This is in 2012. 132 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,800 And she's like, oh, I have a room you can use. 133 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:27,800 Yes, I will donate this room to Nashua Center, which is Health and Human Services. 134 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,160 And yes, you can start this program here. 135 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:35,460 You can have adults and kids come through here, of course, and tap into the services 136 00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:38,440 we have here. 137 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,760 And that's how that happened. 138 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,600 It was just putting dots together, putting people together. 139 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:48,240 But we never, maybe we would never have thought of that or I wouldn't have thought of that 140 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:52,720 if I wasn't in a better space. 141 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,760 What if I kept saying, oh, poor Craig. 142 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,720 Oh my God, he's going to be home every day. 143 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:57,720 Oh, this is so hard. 144 00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,880 Oh, we're never going to find a place for him. 145 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,640 Oh, what is he? 146 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:07,520 Like, if you say that and that's your mantra, and that's what's going into your subconscious 147 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,520 mind. 148 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:14,400 Well, your subconscious mind is a very good friend and wants to bring you everything you're 149 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,800 thinking of and believing, right? 150 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:23,880 So, if that's what you're saying, and that's what you're thinking, that's kind of what 151 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:24,880 you're getting. 152 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:32,960 So, to shift that and say, many opportunities are out there for our son, something wonderful 153 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,760 is going to fall into place. 154 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,960 And that's what happened and it did. 155 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:46,640 So, it doesn't mean that every day you don't see new issues or challenges or things come 156 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:47,640 up. 157 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:52,200 No, but you try to change your perspective on them. 158 00:10:52,200 --> 00:11:00,160 So, instead of having the perspective of, oh, there's no adult services for our kids. 159 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,520 Oh, this is terrible. 160 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:02,560 What are we going to do? 161 00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:05,640 It's so hard to find a program. 162 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:10,480 If we can shift that a little bit and say, no, the right thing is coming. 163 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,400 The right program for Craig is coming. 164 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,400 Better things are coming. 165 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:20,560 And no, we're going to, you know, it's just shifting those thoughts, those words so that 166 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:25,960 your subconscious mind says, oh, oh, that's what she really wants. 167 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:34,600 So, is this in the same vein of that positive self-talk when you're feeling really down 168 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:38,880 and you start saying to yourself, well, you know, this isn't my moment. 169 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:42,280 Nothing ever, exactly like you're saying, nothing ever going well. 170 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:43,280 Nobody likes me. 171 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:49,480 You just switch that to essentially telling the universe what you want from it. 172 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,480 Is that manifesting? 173 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,760 We're talking about manifesting. 174 00:11:54,760 --> 00:12:03,000 And the best way to manifest something, and quantum physics has shown us this now, is 175 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:10,480 to instill these better thoughts, instill these beliefs, instill your thoughts and your 176 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,480 words into your subconscious mind. 177 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:16,880 So, we have the conscious mind that says, oh, I've got to zoom at 12. 178 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,160 Oh, I'm going to go to see Craig at 145. 179 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,200 That keeps us organized, right? 180 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:26,480 But your subconscious mind, I don't even like to call it sub because it's not sub at all. 181 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:31,000 I call it the unconscious mind because most of us don't know it's there. 182 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:39,560 But that's the part of our mind that is bringing us what we want, is matching our outside world 183 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:42,080 to our inside world. 184 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:49,920 But it's a faithful friend and it wants to match what we are thinking, saying, visualizing. 185 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:56,840 So if you're thinking, saying, visualizing not great things, you're probably seeing not 186 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:59,460 great things in your life. 187 00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:07,040 If you can say and think and imagine better things, that's then your subconscious mind 188 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:10,840 is like, oh, okay, that's what she really, really wants. 189 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:16,640 It's the same thing, whether it's about you, your friendships, your relationships, your 190 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:21,600 work, or your caregiving, your special needs child, it's the same thing. 191 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,680 It's the same. 192 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:30,960 So now, with Craig, for instance, now with Craig learning to communicate, he's a non-speaker. 193 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:35,960 So he's learned to communicate through spelling to communicate, which is a method because 194 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,000 he can't do this, right, with his mouth. 195 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,000 Okay. 196 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,880 So his motor cortex isn't working, which is in the center of your brain. 197 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,160 So it sends signals to his mouth, but it's not working. 198 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,060 The signals get scrambled. 199 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:54,380 So instead of this, using his voice, we've taught him to point to letters on a letter 200 00:13:54,380 --> 00:14:02,040 board that has 26 letters on it, to spell out what he wants, to spell out his thoughts, 201 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:09,440 his desires, his goals, how we're teaching him algebra and history and math, all these 202 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:13,800 things, biology that he knows we didn't know. 203 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,600 We didn't know he knew. 204 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:20,520 So this whole new world is opening up to us, and that's probably a little another podcast. 205 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:28,200 Now on my vision board, I have a picture of a classroom with two big tables in it and 206 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:34,960 his picture next to it with a Spellers t-shirt on, and he wants to be with other Spellers 207 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,160 so that they can communicate back and forth because there's thousands of them across the 208 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,520 country now. 209 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:44,880 So I'm envisioning that and I visualize that and I see him there. 210 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,920 I don't know how it's going to come together. 211 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,080 I don't know yet who it will be. 212 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:55,160 I don't know yet where it will be, but I just have faith, right, faith and belief that it's 213 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,160 coming. 214 00:14:56,160 --> 00:15:02,040 That the right things will fall into place and it will come. 215 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:10,040 Are there one or is there a habit that someone could start right now to increase their well-being, 216 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:15,480 to get them towards what you've mastered in terms of positive activity? 217 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:19,560 If there was one thing where someone was going to say, oh my gosh, I love Lori. 218 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,520 I love everything she's saying. 219 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:27,920 That's one thing I could start today or tomorrow doing that could lead me down this path. 220 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:28,920 Okay. 221 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:34,680 The first thing I do every morning, I get up, go in the bathroom. 222 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:38,480 I look in the mirror and I look in my own eyes. 223 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:45,080 I give myself a high five in the mirror and I say something kind and amazing to myself 224 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,240 like, you've got this day. 225 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,460 It's going to go great. 226 00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:50,200 Things are working out for you. 227 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:56,840 I look in my eyes and I say to myself that I love and approve of myself. 228 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:00,120 This habit, very hard for me at first. 229 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,120 A lot. 230 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:06,320 It was very difficult for me to look at myself and say that. 231 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,280 It took practice. 232 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,720 Mel Robbins wrote a great book and it's also on Audible. 233 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,100 It's an amazing book. 234 00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:19,020 It's called The High Five Habit and she talks about the science behind doing this. 235 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:26,160 It takes about, I don't know, 12 seconds, 15 seconds in the morning and it can shift 236 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:30,080 your life and your kids can do it. 237 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,680 They do research on children that do it and adults that do it. 238 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:37,160 It's an excellent book, a great read. 239 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,880 That's the one thing I do first thing in the morning. 240 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:46,520 Some days I forget and I'm like, oh shoot, I got to go back to the bathroom and do that. 241 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,080 That's the first thing I do. 242 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:53,000 The second thing I do, which doesn't take much more time either, so if somebody wants 243 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:58,640 to do two things to start, is grab a journal or a piece of paper, whatever. 244 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:06,760 Have a nice journal around and you write down three things that you appreciate and why from 245 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,080 the last 24 hours. 246 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,080 Okay. 247 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:14,000 This practice helps you and your brain. 248 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:22,360 In our brain, we were born and created with a software program that's looking for danger, 249 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:23,360 right? 250 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:24,360 Danger, danger. 251 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:27,080 The tiger coming to eat us or the bear coming to get us. 252 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,120 Back in the day, we needed that, right? 253 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,640 We needed that protection. 254 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,480 Well now we don't need that protection anymore. 255 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:39,960 If there's a bus coming out to you, okay fine, but how often does that happen? 256 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:48,720 What we're doing is shifting that software program to not always look for anxiety and 257 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:52,560 fear and worry and danger, danger, danger. 258 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:58,040 We're shifting the software program to look for more things to appreciate. 259 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,160 So think about it this way. 260 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,600 What you appreciate, appreciates. 261 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,360 Oh, that's powerful. 262 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:06,360 Isn't that good? 263 00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:14,600 So the research behind that is showing that we were shifting that software program. 264 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:20,400 So you wake up and you write three new things each day that you appreciate and why, and 265 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:25,220 they need to be new because you're always looking for new things. 266 00:18:25,220 --> 00:18:26,840 So today I was just with the kitchen. 267 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,440 I'm like, oh, I appreciate my Christmas cactus so much. 268 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:34,800 Thank you Christmas cactus for reminding me of that. 269 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:39,960 And then I write two more things and I think about them and I think about the emotion of 270 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,080 those. 271 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:47,240 And then I meditate for five minutes just on that feeling in my heart of that appreciation. 272 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,540 Okay, so I gave you three things. 273 00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:56,920 So all in all those three things, I guess five minutes of the meditation, maybe it takes 274 00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:02,240 you three, four minutes to write down the appreciations and then maybe, you know, 17, 275 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,580 30 seconds to do your high five habit. 276 00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:10,200 It's not that much time in the morning to sort of get your mind straight. 277 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:14,280 And let's say you're up, your kids are up or you're a young mom. 278 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,600 It's a lot to do in the morning. 279 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:16,600 I get that. 280 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:17,600 Wow. 281 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,800 It's like I don't know how these moms do it anymore, but you can think about them then. 282 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:26,840 If you don't have a moment to write it down, maybe just record it in your phone. 283 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:32,200 Oh, I really appreciate Tim, my son's communication partner. 284 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,760 He's learning spelling to communicate with Craig. 285 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,760 It's so amazing. 286 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:36,760 And Craig is so happy. 287 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,760 Like you can just put it in your phone, right? 288 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:41,760 And you're saying it and you're thinking about it. 289 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,360 And you know, you've done the same thing without writing it down. 290 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:49,240 So there's a bond of a few other things that I do in the morning, but those are my top 291 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,400 three. 292 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:57,480 Yeah, someone like me is listening to this and thinking, oh, if I don't do it just this 293 00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:01,160 exact way that she lined out, it's not going to work out for me. 294 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:05,560 If I don't follow the rules exactly, I'm not going to get the same result. 295 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:11,280 But what I'm hearing you say is, is it's less about the method you use, the vehicle you 296 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:15,140 use to get it done and more about the intention behind it. 297 00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:19,080 So even if you keep, it's not about the physical act of writing. 298 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,920 It's about the almost willing it into existence. 299 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:23,920 Yes. 300 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,520 Yes. 301 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,800 And it's more about the emotion behind it. 302 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:29,800 Oh, okay. 303 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:30,800 Right? 304 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:37,080 So the emotion behind that appreciation and the visualization behind that appreciation, 305 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:43,080 because you're thinking about it, how beautiful that plant is or how lovely this cup of coffee 306 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:46,220 is this morning. 307 00:20:46,220 --> 00:20:50,440 You're visualizing it too and you're feeling the emotion of it. 308 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:51,840 Yeah. 309 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:52,840 And that's the key. 310 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,680 Yeah, that's the key. 311 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,920 I think you've already kind of answered this question, but I was going to ask, is there 312 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:04,000 a way to involve our children into this process? 313 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:08,960 Is this something sacred that you do by yourself or can you do this with your child? 314 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,320 Well, when I do it for myself, I do it by myself. 315 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:13,320 Okay. 316 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:18,600 But with my other children, I have two typical kids and they know what I do, but I can't 317 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,880 make them do anything, right? 318 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,520 Everyone has free will to do what they will. 319 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,880 But my children know very well what I do and what I preach. 320 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,480 I don't preach at them, but I just... 321 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,480 It's a topic you enjoy speaking about and you're passionate. 322 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:34,480 Absolutely. 323 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:35,480 Absolutely. 324 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,880 So my kids are on board, my typical kids. 325 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:48,120 For Craig, who is totally very spiritual and very connected with the energy of this universe. 326 00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:53,000 When I sit with him and we do spelling to communicate now, I say, well, Craig, today 327 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:58,520 I was appreciating my beautiful cup of coffee, I got my new coffee maker, I was appreciating 328 00:21:58,520 --> 00:21:59,960 my great cup of coffee this morning. 329 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:03,760 I said, what do you appreciate today? 330 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:07,740 And then on the board, he'll tell me, I appreciate Roland. 331 00:22:07,740 --> 00:22:10,440 And I'll say, well, why do you appreciate Roland? 332 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:14,520 Because he is very calm and Roland is the young man that he lives with, because he is 333 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:15,520 calm. 334 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:20,320 So I say, Craig, and then I explained to Craig, this is why we do this every day and why I'd 335 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:24,920 ask you every day, because you're just bringing in more things to appreciate. 336 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,280 And then I'll ask him, well, what's your power statement today? 337 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:31,440 Mike, I said to him, my power statement today is I... 338 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,920 I forget even what I said. 339 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:35,920 I am... 340 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:39,360 Oh gosh, I can't even remember what it was this morning. 341 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:40,360 See, that's not very powerful. 342 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:43,960 I can't remember what it was, but I am very... 343 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,920 I think I said I'm very abundant. 344 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,080 Everything's working out today. 345 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:52,280 My clients are paying me on time or something like that. 346 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,920 I said, what's your I am power statement? 347 00:22:54,920 --> 00:23:03,480 And he'll say, I am strong, or he'll say, I am resilient, or I am intelligent. 348 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:07,120 Because people think because he doesn't speak that he's not intelligent. 349 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:08,440 And he's... 350 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,480 I mean, Savant like intelligent now. 351 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,520 I mean, he was silent for 30 years and he never knew his intelligence. 352 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:15,520 Wow. 353 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:21,400 But now that he can use the spelling board to spell out stuff, now we see how intelligent 354 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,400 he is. 355 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:23,400 Yeah. 356 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,400 Wow. 357 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:27,440 I know that's cool. 358 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:34,920 When you're looking at the impact and the success of what you've done, what are the 359 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,720 outcomes that you were most proud of? 360 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:42,000 Is it the change you see in yourself or your son? 361 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:51,600 I would think...I think it's more...I'm most proud of the way I can bounce back from disappointment 362 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,040 and challenges. 363 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:54,040 Okay. 364 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,560 And I'm most proud... 365 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,720 No, trust me. 366 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,080 Every day I'm not positive and wonderful. 367 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:07,040 Believe me, there are days when I get a little snarky and I'll send someone a nice email 368 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,000 or a not nice text or whatever. 369 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,480 And I'm like, it feels horrible. 370 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:17,560 It just feels horrible because that's not in like the energy I sit in anymore. 371 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:18,840 And I'll call them immediately. 372 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:19,840 Oh my gosh. 373 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,920 I can't believe I just said that that way. 374 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,240 I am so sorry. 375 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:24,880 I just did that. 376 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,840 But you know, we're all human. 377 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,540 We all have egos. 378 00:24:28,540 --> 00:24:34,160 We all have sometimes knee-jerk reactions to things. 379 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:41,520 So I'm most proud of the fact that I can bounce back better when there's challenges and downturns 380 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:42,800 in life. 381 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:48,900 And I can use my tools to get back and bounce back because I've built up my resilience. 382 00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:52,560 And I'm most proud of the fact that I'm teaching it to Craig. 383 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:59,960 And I now understand that my energy is distinctly tied to his energy. 384 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:07,920 So knowing that if I can keep myself with less anxiety and less worry and less stress, 385 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:13,880 his energy can be that way too because we're so tied in. 386 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:18,560 And most parents don't realize how tied in they are to their kids, their children. 387 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:19,560 Yeah. 388 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:20,560 Yeah. 389 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,440 Or how much your children. 390 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:27,400 I think that I have found in my own personal parenting journey is that I don't give enough 391 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:34,040 credit to my child on how much they really pick up and recognize what I'm feeling and 392 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:40,120 what emotions I'm sending in and how their day changes based off of that. 393 00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:41,280 Yes. 394 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:47,280 So there really is that trickle-down effect that if mom does something brave and kind 395 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:54,500 for herself or dad, if parent is doing something good for themselves, it really does make its 396 00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:56,240 way down to the children. 397 00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:03,840 Yes, and if I don't have young children at home anymore, but if I did and I wish I knew 398 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:10,480 this then, I mean, we prayed at night and that was cool, but I wish I would have known, 399 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:15,240 all right, you guys getting into bed, what's three things you're really happy that happened 400 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,240 today? 401 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,200 What did you appreciate today? 402 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:24,240 I would have done more of an appreciation practice with them at night. 403 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:28,240 It's hard to remember, my kids are in their 30s now, but we probably did it around the 404 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,440 dinner table without thinking why. 405 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,000 I didn't know why at the time. 406 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:40,840 They were young and I didn't really study this stuff at the time. 407 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:46,320 So incorporating the children into it, I think it's a beautiful thing. 408 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:52,040 What do you say to families who are interested in learning more about positive activity? 409 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:56,600 What advice or steps do you tell them to get more involved to learn more? 410 00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:02,240 Sure, they can go to our website, positiveactivity.net. 411 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:07,920 You can connect with me there, my email is on there, my contact information is there. 412 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:13,440 There's lots of blogs that I've written that are there and other podcast interviews that 413 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:17,360 I've been on and you can listen to me speak. 414 00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:25,000 I do a lot of mentoring for caregivers and a lot of that is give back because it's just 415 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,080 a passion of mine. 416 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:37,100 The work I do is for sales teams and corporations and business people, entrepreneurs that want 417 00:27:37,100 --> 00:27:41,460 to build up their resilience and build up their business and build up their abundance. 418 00:27:41,460 --> 00:27:49,560 So the caregiving piece, sort of my give back piece, but I think it's critical to help support 419 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:50,560 caregivers. 420 00:27:50,560 --> 00:28:00,480 I look at Krebs, the center where his day program is housed and I think, what does the 421 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:08,440 center do to appreciate people every week, every day? 422 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:17,320 Having an appreciation day every year is nice, but honestly I think people should be appreciated 423 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:24,060 monthly or weekly or whatever the case may be because it's hard work. 424 00:28:24,060 --> 00:28:31,440 It's hard work when you're tube feeding someone, when you're changing them and these are adults 425 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,200 that they're working with. 426 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,280 Who's supporting the caregiver? 427 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:42,160 They need the help and the support as well. 428 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,920 So that's sort of like a give back piece that I like to do. 429 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:53,120 So I think my biggest takeaway from our conversation so far is that there are easy steps that I 430 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:59,680 can do to make myself feel better and that in this world sometimes we're not going to 431 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:08,040 get the appreciation we need as often as we need it, but we can always give that to ourselves. 432 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,520 Bingo. 433 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,040 Yes. 434 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,600 Yes. 435 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:17,280 Another convert right here. 436 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:21,400 See me talking to myself tomorrow in the mirror. 437 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,020 And we can shift our perspective. 438 00:29:24,020 --> 00:29:33,000 We can shift it from doom and gloom to bright and light and beautiful and wonderful. 439 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:39,440 I'm not saying every moment of every day is wonderful, but when you do hit those little 440 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:47,040 challenges your resilience is higher so you can shift it easier. 441 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:50,620 It's easier to get back there. 442 00:29:50,620 --> 00:29:53,040 It's a tool in your toolbox, right? 443 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:54,040 Yes. 444 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:55,040 Yes. 445 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:59,160 Well, I really want to thank you so much for your time today. 446 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:04,400 And I want you to know that when you do appreciations later just know that this conversation has 447 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:09,800 meant so much to me personally and that I am so looking forward to sharing it with our 448 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:10,800 families. 449 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:11,800 So thank you so much. 450 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:12,800 Sure. 451 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:13,800 Thank you, Allison. 452 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:15,520 It was great chatting with you. 453 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:24,280 Thank you. 454 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:29,200 Thank you so much, everyone out there for listening in and know that if you are in Idaho 455 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:36,760 or planning on moving to Idaho and have questions on systems or services for children with disabilities, 456 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:40,920 please consider reaching out to us on our website at iPull Idaho. 457 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:50,920 Or by calling us at 208-342-5884. 458 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,000 Be sure to tune in next time. 459 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,200 Until then, this has been Unlimited Parenting. 460 00:30:56,200 --> 00:31:11,640 Thanks for listening.