1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,400
Welcome to Unlimited Parenting, where we discuss everything related to having children with

2
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,680
disabilities or special health care needs.

3
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:18,000
Today we're going to try something a little different.

4
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:28,560
We have all gathered here today, myself, Allison, Melissa, and IPUL's newest employee, Katie.

5
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,800
Yay!

6
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:37,520
We have all gathered here today with a topic, one topic, and we are going to discuss it

7
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:44,360
and then see if it's tangentially related to disabilities or just see where it takes

8
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,360
us.

9
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:49,800
So without further ado, let's just jump right into the conversation.

10
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:53,440
I'm going to go first.

11
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:59,840
My topic is the dentist, because you're already laughing at me.

12
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:01,200
I'm just scared already.

13
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,200
Why?

14
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,360
Because you know I have a fear of dentists.

15
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:05,360
It's terrifying.

16
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,800
So my lip is sweating already.

17
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,640
Sorry, I was trying to drown your voice out.

18
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:12,920
I'm just kidding.

19
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,120
Duly noted.

20
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,480
I went to the dentist this morning and it was awesome.

21
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:23,800
I'm sure dentists are great, like on their off time and they're just normal humans who

22
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,320
bowl or golf or whatever.

23
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,680
But why are they Satan?

24
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:33,960
I have a hard time with somebody who's like, what if we went to school to learn how to

25
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,640
scratch on people's bones?

26
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,440
Like it's just, you know what I mean?

27
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:39,440
Yeah, that's disgusting.

28
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,440
I never thought about it like that.

29
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,800
I want to know.

30
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,020
This is what I want to know.

31
00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:52,140
When you go to dental school, do you have to take a class to understand what the heck

32
00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:53,520
I'm saying?

33
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,640
When you're having all those tools in your mouth and you're like, are you going to work

34
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:57,640
today?

35
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,640
I'm like, her, her, her.

36
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:05,640
It just hurts.

37
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,160
It's like a translation class.

38
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,160
Exactly.

39
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,880
It seems like that should be a check box.

40
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,800
You know when you get a massage and they're like, do you want to be chatty or do you want

41
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:15,800
to just sleep?

42
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,480
Like, maybe I don't want to talk about your hands.

43
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:19,480
Oh, that's genius.

44
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:20,480
That is.

45
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:21,480
That is really smart.

46
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,480
I'm going to pitch that to the dentist.

47
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:23,480
Yeah, where's school?

48
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:24,480
That needs to be the feedback for it.

49
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,480
Do you want to talk or not?

50
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:32,480
Have you ever been outside of like a library and they're trying to get signatures?

51
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,480
Me?

52
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,480
The library.

53
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,480
Just kidding.

54
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,280
I was in a library today.

55
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:44,040
So a library is short for the Latin word, librarians.

56
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,040
I don't know if that's true.

57
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,720
But yeah, people, you're one Spanish word.

58
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:49,720
Good for you.

59
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:50,720
It was French.

60
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:51,720
Biblioteca is Spanish.

61
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:52,720
I said bibliotech.

62
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:53,720
Oh my gosh.

63
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:54,720
Okay.

64
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:55,720
Yeah, this is a multilingual podcast.

65
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:56,720
Sorry.

66
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:57,720
Okay.

67
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:03,560
You're outside of a library or wherever you find yourself.

68
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:04,560
I don't know.

69
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:05,560
An air apostle.

70
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,560
I don't know.

71
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:07,560
They're collecting.

72
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:08,560
They're collecting signatures.

73
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:13,560
You know, you know, and they're like, do you support this?

74
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,440
Sorry.

75
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,760
While you're petting a billy goat?

76
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:28,160
And they're, you know, do you support Idaho's the racing, the horse racing in Garden City?

77
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,160
Do we support checkbox?

78
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,160
Okay.

79
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:38,040
That's where I want you to start your position for the checkbox at the dentist.

80
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:42,040
My name is Katie and I don't want you to talk to me at the dentist.

81
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,040
I add the qualifier of the dentist.

82
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:48,000
My name is Katie and I don't want you to talk to me.

83
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:53,640
I was just thinking that might be universal because like when I go to, I don't want, when

84
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,880
you sit next to me on the airplane, unless I know you don't talk to me.

85
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,200
I want that dog collar.

86
00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,200
Like, okay.

87
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,200
Whoa.

88
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,640
That's not, that's not this podcast.

89
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:03,640
That's not this podcast.

90
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:04,640
I pull after dark.

91
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:08,640
Um, I want the, the, I want a sign on me.

92
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:09,640
Like don't talk to me.

93
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:10,640
I'm not friendly.

94
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:11,640
You know, like those training dogs.

95
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:12,640
That's what I was trying to say.

96
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:13,640
They like have a sign.

97
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:14,640
Okay.

98
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:15,640
Don't touch me.

99
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:16,640
I'm not.

100
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:17,640
Non-friendly.

101
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:18,640
Aggressive.

102
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:19,640
I'm on duty.

103
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,640
Please don't bother me.

104
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,640
I'm on duty.

105
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:23,640
I'm working.

106
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,640
This wildling went off course.

107
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,640
Yeah.

108
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,640
That's what, that's what happens in these, in these podcasts.

109
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,640
But yeah, don't talk to me.

110
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,640
So I do.

111
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,640
I think it could be universal.

112
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,120
And I'm not a not social person.

113
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,800
There are just times where like, seriously, I'm done.

114
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,800
But do you know what you're not?

115
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:42,800
A dentist person.

116
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:47,120
I know that for a fact, you are not a dentist person.

117
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:51,720
Do you, do you want to describe why you just hate the dentist because of a past experience?

118
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:52,720
Right?

119
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:56,160
I can describe why it was unbelievably traumatized.

120
00:04:56,160 --> 00:05:02,120
Again, Dennis, probably great people, but for some reason Damien has been my dentist

121
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,920
in the past.

122
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:11,560
My dentist, I single-handedly helped create a new policy in our dentist because let me

123
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,800
tell you why.

124
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,560
My maiden name was Smith.

125
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:20,360
When I went to get my x-rays for my wisdom teeth, they told me I have two wisdom teeth.

126
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,360
I listened to that.

127
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:22,360
I took that to heart.

128
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,360
Just two?

129
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,360
I knew I had just two.

130
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,080
I had two, two on the top.

131
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:31,520
I knew that I had two going into the oral surgeon who then told me these x-rays show

132
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:34,000
four wisdom teeth and I was like, I have two.

133
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,020
And my mom said to me as a 16 year old, don't argue with the dentist.

134
00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:40,920
And I continued to argue and push back that I had two.

135
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,880
I knew I had two.

136
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:48,060
The dentist sent their x-rays for another Melissa Smith who had four wisdom teeth.

137
00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:52,520
The oral surgeon dug around looking for two wisdom teeth that didn't exist.

138
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,920
To then they got infected.

139
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,040
Then I couldn't open my mouth for two weeks.

140
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:58,440
It was a horrible experience.

141
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,520
So I hate the dentist.

142
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:05,240
And when I say I hate the dentist, I loathe the dentist.

143
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,240
Like the cringe.

144
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,720
That was the best Jim Carrey impression.

145
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:08,720
I can't.

146
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:09,720
Dinner with me?

147
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:10,720
I'm terrified.

148
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,280
I can't cancel that again.

149
00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:14,440
I am terrified of the dentist.

150
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,440
Like sweaty.

151
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,520
My lip is sweating right now.

152
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,000
I'm very terrified of the dentist.

153
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,960
I know the humidity in here just changed.

154
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,720
It feels like a rainforest cafe.

155
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,920
I have like secondhand anxiety for you.

156
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:26,920
Thank you.

157
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:32,880
When you said you were going to be your topic, I had a little internal struggle.

158
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:33,880
Great guy.

159
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,720
My dentist is a man.

160
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:36,720
He's a great guy.

161
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,480
I'm sure he has lots of fun.

162
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,480
You know, he looks like he's a world traveler.

163
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:46,280
He's drilling into people's teeth and he's getting paid for it.

164
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,440
It almost seems like morally.

165
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:49,440
I know, right?

166
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:50,920
Ethically somehow there's got to be something.

167
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,480
He paid money to learn how to drill into my face.

168
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:59,200
How do you look at someone in their soul and say, that tooth right there, I'm going to

169
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,000
pull it out and then I'm going to have to do a root canal.

170
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,840
And he's just like smiling.

171
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,120
How do you eat lunch after that?

172
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,680
Have you ever shoved those metal things like between there and they're like, just close

173
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:09,680
your mouth gently.

174
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:14,400
And it's jabbing into my face like a wayward cap and crunch.

175
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,280
I don't understand.

176
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,320
And they do it for fun.

177
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:22,400
Like one of the Juanita's gets broken off and crushed into your teeth.

178
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,600
That's exactly what I'm saying.

179
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,000
And he's like, no, no, no, just shut your mouth.

180
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,000
Just shut your mouth again.

181
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,000
Just keep it.

182
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,000
Don't move.

183
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,200
And I'm going to jam it into your gums.

184
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:38,640
I want to know, like the smell, like does that smell when they are drilling into a tooth?

185
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,520
It's got to smell like burning hair.

186
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:45,720
It doesn't bother me, but I will tell you when they were recently working on my middle

187
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:50,880
child's tooth and they had to like do some sealant and stuff.

188
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:57,800
It must've made a weird smell because my middle child went, you mom.

189
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,000
I sir did not pass gas.

190
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,120
He called you out.

191
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,120
You mom.

192
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:06,320
I'm like, sir, that's the smell of your tooth.

193
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,320
Oh, okay.

194
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,320
So the answer is yes.

195
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,320
That panic too.

196
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,920
I should have just taken the fall for that.

197
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,400
Oh God, I'm sorry.

198
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,400
Just maybe I helped some brush though.

199
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,120
He's like, my tooth smells like my mom's fart.

200
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,480
He has to come back from that.

201
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,480
That's a lot.

202
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:24,840
That's a lot to take in.

203
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,120
That is a lot for a little guy.

204
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,040
For a big guy.

205
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:35,720
My child has gone to the dentist more times in the last six months than I have in the

206
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:36,720
last 10 years.

207
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,160
That is how much I hate.

208
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,560
I just dislike that.

209
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:42,560
Yeah.

210
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:48,600
And again, you know, we're talking about a child with a disability, so he has some extra

211
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:49,600
steps.

212
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,600
Sure.

213
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:51,960
Now, like his mom, I go to the sedated.

214
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:52,960
Oh, great.

215
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,440
Now you guys are all going to know where I go to the dentist.

216
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:59,240
I went to the sedated dentistry and I'm like, he's like, so you want to be sedated?

217
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,840
And I said, sir, I want you to question whether or not I'm alive.

218
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,280
So I don't want to be sedated.

219
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:10,760
I want to be like knocking on heaven's door.

220
00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,400
I want you to wonder.

221
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,560
So you have to have a ride home.

222
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:16,560
I think.

223
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:17,560
Okay.

224
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:18,800
They're so serious about it.

225
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:19,800
I love it.

226
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,640
I really do love it for them, but they're like, you can't.

227
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:23,960
You can't leave the property.

228
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:27,680
So my husband has to sit there and wait the entire time.

229
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,160
They're if they like, see him go for the tour.

230
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,160
Oh, no.

231
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,160
They like that.

232
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,720
I imagine like shooting them with a Nerf gun.

233
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:34,720
Get back, sir.

234
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:40,640
Back because they're so worried that you're going to ditch.

235
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,400
So what happens if you don't have a ride?

236
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,120
Is that like a barrier to you have to call it like a Uber?

237
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,160
Yeah, because then the person has to take care of you.

238
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:53,920
Coming off of your being under like that coming off of anesthesia in the back of an Uber.

239
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,520
Can you even imagine being that Uber driver right now?

240
00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:03,560
My poor aunt lives in by herself and she had to take an Uber home from her colonoscopy.

241
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,160
Isn't that sad?

242
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:06,760
I know that broke my heart.

243
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:07,760
I was like, I should have.

244
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,760
The stories you're bringing to the table today are just.

245
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:11,760
Flow up there.

246
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,040
I should have flow up there and helped her out.

247
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,960
But it reminds me.

248
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,640
It reminds me of what you just said.

249
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:19,640
Reminds.

250
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,680
Isn't that like the beginning of The Walking Dead where the guy Rick Grimes like goes in

251
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:27,640
for a surgery or something and he wakes up and there's zombies everywhere and he'd been

252
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:32,360
like in a mild coma or something and the world had like gone on without him.

253
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:35,200
I'm not scared of that.

254
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,440
I'm not scared of that.

255
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:42,600
What I'm scared of is these people who tell stories about like being under for surgery.

256
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,600
Yes.

257
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,320
I'm not that aware.

258
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,440
Oh no, I don't want that for you.

259
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:48,440
I'm so sorry.

260
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,440
I don't want that.

261
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:50,440
You take that back.

262
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:56,240
No, I tell you what I want for me from you is I want when you come off of your sedation,

263
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,600
I want your husband to video it because I think it probably would be hilarious.

264
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,480
He said that last time this happened and I was sedated.

265
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:08,080
I was trying to get out of the car on the freeway.

266
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:09,440
Child log.

267
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:16,080
Because through some weird circumstance, there was an accident on the freeway that day.

268
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:20,760
So he's driving me home from the dentist and everyone's at a stop on the freeway and I

269
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,960
was like, I'll just walk home.

270
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:27,440
And I opened the, I tried to open the door and my husband's like, he had to put on the

271
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,440
flashers.

272
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:29,440
Get out of the car.

273
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:30,440
Get out of the, get back in this car.

274
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,440
The patience on this man.

275
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,440
Oh well, yes.

276
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:33,440
You just got to love him.

277
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:41,440
And I'm like, listen, you're the idiot for staying in the gridlock.

278
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:42,440
In the marriage?

279
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,440
Oh, oh.

280
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:44,440
I'm just kidding.

281
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,440
I'm just kidding.

282
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:46,440
That's it.

283
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,880
You see that little foam piece that's falling off the wall?

284
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,640
I'm going to put it over your mouth.

285
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:52,640
Okay.

286
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:53,640
I'm sorry.

287
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,520
I just, can he have my phone number for future research?

288
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,400
For future dentist trips.

289
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,400
One of my children will put it on Snapchat.

290
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,400
I'm sure of it.

291
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,400
I am too.

292
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:03,400
I'm absolutely sure of it.

293
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,400
Okay.

294
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,880
I do have one thing I want to say about this and it's completely off topic, but not really.

295
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:12,320
Do you find now as parents, I don't know what your experience was going to the dentist as

296
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,680
a child, but like to this day.

297
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:15,680
In the eighties?

298
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:16,680
It was wild.

299
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:21,680
I just feel like right now there's still this element of like, I'm in trouble when I go

300
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:22,680
to the dentist.

301
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:26,600
Like if I have a cavity as an adult, I'm like, like don't tell mom.

302
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,880
And I'm like, I'm a 30 year old woman.

303
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,360
I don't need to.

304
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:31,360
You know what?

305
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:32,360
I totally see that.

306
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:37,680
And I think that it's valid, but today I got the opposite of that because they were like,

307
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:40,280
you haven't been to the dentist in 10 years.

308
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:41,280
That's a real thing.

309
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:50,480
We expected you to come in with like some fish hooks and we expected to have to remove

310
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:55,560
so many of these, but you only have four cavities that need one crown.

311
00:12:55,560 --> 00:13:01,560
My most recent experience was literally my 10 year high school reunion was in the same

312
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:05,200
month as the first time I'd gone to the dentist, like by myself as an adult.

313
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,200
Like I had never.

314
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,200
Did you journal about it?

315
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,680
Because you were ready to call those memories up real quick.

316
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:15,040
I was just laughing about it because it's like, I realized that once I was out of the

317
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:20,120
like home where my parents were like, Hey, let's be like a reasonable person and go to

318
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,120
the doctor.

319
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,160
After they let you out of the kidney.

320
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,760
They released me into the wild.

321
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,160
I didn't like transfer that I should keep going.

322
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,200
I still had insurance.

323
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,880
Here at I pull, we call that transition to adulthood.

324
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,800
After they let me out of the hole.

325
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:36,800
Yeah.

326
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:37,800
Yeah.

327
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,800
Anyway, I pushed the button.

328
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:43,080
It's a little delayed.

329
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,840
I was like, there should be a sound here.

330
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:46,840
Just my laughter.

331
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,600
Anyway, I just think it's funny.

332
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:53,800
And then now as a parent, like if my kids have cavities, I'm like, okay, I can't make

333
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:58,480
them feel like they're in trouble because I walked into going to the dentist.

334
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,560
I always felt like I was in trouble.

335
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:02,560
We went trouble.

336
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:03,560
Yes.

337
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:06,080
I mean, eighties were pretty well in terms of dentistry.

338
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:09,000
Like we would get cavities filled with out anything.

339
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,440
I was just thinking about that.

340
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:11,760
There's steps that they take.

341
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:17,880
Like they drizzle the numbing and then they do the shot and they really take it so slow.

342
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:23,040
I just remember going in there and my mom would hold my hand down and the dentist would

343
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,040
just do it real quick.

344
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:28,920
They must be pumping something in those dentist schools because the nicest people on the earth.

345
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:30,280
You mean like R&B?

346
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,280
Like they're pumping R&B?

347
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:36,240
They're pumping something because the nurses are always these like the perkiest women who

348
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,080
are so kind.

349
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:39,080
They're so nice.

350
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,080
Like when they scrape your teeth and they clean it all up for Doc and then the dentist actually

351
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,560
comes in and does what he's supposed to do.

352
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,120
But like it's those first women that are always like the heaviest people.

353
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,320
Do you ever wonder how many red balls it takes for them to get to work?

354
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,080
They've got to be mainlining it.

355
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,080
Mainstream.

356
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,200
Full on.

357
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,200
They do scream.

358
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,560
I mean, how stereotypical are we being?

359
00:14:58,560 --> 00:14:59,720
Those customer service people.

360
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,520
They're so good to me.

361
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,760
Every time I just want to be their friend.

362
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:04,760
It does.

363
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:05,760
It's working then.

364
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:06,760
It's very hospitable.

365
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:07,760
That was not the experience when I was a child.

366
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,760
No, I was a child either.

367
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:15,280
I'm telling you it was like apparently on top of you.

368
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:21,160
I literally, the dentist that I went to as a child in the 80s was called the Oregon Trail

369
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,160
Dentist.

370
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:27,560
And let's just say, well, I was concerned that they might not have even washed their

371
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,280
dental tools in the drink place.

372
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,200
You were just like, clean the dishwasher and was like, it'll be fine.

373
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,880
They were like, oh, there's another eight year old coming in after you.

374
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,640
You probably have the same germs.

375
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,480
There's only one elementary school, so it's fine.

376
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,480
It's fine.

377
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,480
Come to the dentist.

378
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,160
Same germs, same lice.

379
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,160
Just get it all in one spot.

380
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,160
Lice?

381
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,160
You can get lice at the dentist?

382
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,160
I don't know.

383
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,160
It just felt right.

384
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,160
Oh my God.

385
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,160
I'm sure you could.

386
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,160
It's a place of horror.

387
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,160
It's leaning back in the chair.

388
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,160
Yeah.

389
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:57,160
But I know someone that got it in movie theater.

390
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,160
Oh, right.

391
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,160
Oh, that's a new fear.

392
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:06,160
Can you imagine you're just watching Interstellar and your head just starts itching?

393
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,160
Interstellar, why is that the movie you picked?

394
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,160
I love, who is that man?

395
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,160
Matthew McConnally.

396
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:14,160
No.

397
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,160
All right, all right, all right.

398
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:16,160
I do love him too.

399
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,160
Who's in Interstellar?

400
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,160
The man, Hans.

401
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,160
Sorry.

402
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,160
Hans Zimmerman.

403
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:24,160
Oh, yes.

404
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,160
Who is the man who writes the music?

405
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:28,160
Yes, Christian Hans Zimmerman.

406
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:32,160
Okay, listen, that sounded like your dentures just slipped.

407
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,160
Maybe go to the dentist.

408
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,160
You went to the dentist, but my mouth has clearly been numbed.

409
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,160
Christian, Christian Ha.

410
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,160
Hans Christian, yeah, Zimmerman.

411
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,160
I believe you guys.

412
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,160
I don't know who you're talking about.

413
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:48,160
The song Cornfield Chase.

414
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:53,160
Have you ever heard it?

415
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,160
You've really not heard it?

416
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,160
Oh my God.

417
00:16:56,160 --> 00:17:01,160
To all of our listeners, we just want to thank our dentists and encourage you to listen to

418
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,160
the song Cornfield Chase.

419
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:08,160
I will play for you later.

420
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,160
I wish I could play it right now.

421
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,160
I'm sure I've heard it.

422
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,160
It's so beautiful.

423
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,160
I just envisioned a woman writing it.

424
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,160
That's exactly what happens during a truck.

425
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,160
Being chased?

426
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,160
They're not being chased.

427
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,160
Have you never seen Interstellar?

428
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,160
I've never seen Interstellar.

429
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,160
Oh my God, you're missing out.

430
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,160
It is so amazing.

431
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,160
How amusing.

432
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,160
You never watch movies.

433
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,160
I know.

434
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:33,160
That's why it's the only movie I can talk about potentially getting lice at the movie theater.

435
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,160
Okay.

436
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,160
I've seen all of these other random movies.

437
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,160
Can you imagine?

438
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,160
And you have seen Interstellar movies.

439
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,160
Can you imagine?

440
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:44,160
You're listening to the song Cornfield Chase by Zimmer Zimmerman or whoever he is.

441
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:49,160
I have something that I want to say that's going to bring you back around.

442
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:56,160
The last time I went to a movie with my husband on a date, we were watching, oh, what's that

443
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,160
movie with moon landing?

444
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,160
Like Matt Damon and he's on Mars.

445
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,160
Mars.

446
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,160
Oh yeah, he's throwing the potatoes or whatever.

447
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,160
Yes.

448
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,160
So two funny things from that.

449
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,160
I was eating popcorn and I broke my tooth.

450
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,160
Still broken.

451
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:08,160
Dentist.

452
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:12,160
I was like, wow, that popcorn kernel was burnt.

453
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:23,160
Second thing that happened in that movie, the girls behind us were like, is this a true

454
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,160
story?

455
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:25,160
I'm my husband.

456
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,160
Did I tell you?

457
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,160
I almost lost it in the movie theater.

458
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,160
You remember that movie Benjamin Button?

459
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:29,160
No.

460
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,160
I thought it was you.

461
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,160
I thought it was real.

462
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,160
I was like, oh my God, can that really happen?

463
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:38,160
Oh my gosh.

464
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,320
If it makes you feel better.

465
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,800
My dad thought that too, Alison.

466
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:43,800
But you know what?

467
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,000
That was the same day that I found out.

468
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,000
Santa Claus.

469
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Was it real?

470
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:54,040
That hot sauce, does it reduce calories when you put it on things?

471
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,960
You thought that happened?

472
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,360
Was the thought process like we're sweating out calories?

473
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:03,440
This in common sense was really hard to come by at the Orion Trail dentistry.

474
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:04,440
I have none.

475
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,200
I have absolutely none.

476
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,520
So yes, I thought Benjamin Button could have been real.

477
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:10,520
I was like, what?

478
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:11,520
When did that movie come out?

479
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,000
I don't think I even watched it.

480
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,160
I think I was like 14 or 15.

481
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,160
Too old to be that silly.

482
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,240
I'm like, is Benjamin Button real?

483
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,280
Do you think that could really happen?

484
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:27,200
Then you might've been the girl in The Martian in the movie theater behind me.

485
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,880
It was so funny.

486
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,840
I have never like, oh, it was so funny.

487
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:32,840
Did you say yes?

488
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:33,840
No, I just laughed at him.

489
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:34,920
That it's like the Blair Witch.

490
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,400
It was like the Blair Witch documentary.

491
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:37,400
No.

492
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,800
This is, yeah, this is actually real life footage from Mars right now.

493
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:41,800
Right.

494
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:42,800
He's upstreaming.

495
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:43,800
That's astronaut Matthew Damon.

496
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:44,800
Damon.

497
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,800
There's like a T in there.

498
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:48,800
Okay.

499
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:49,800
Okay.

500
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,800
Dennis.

501
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,800
I digress.

502
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:52,800
Science field delivered.

503
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,800
Melissa, what's your topic?

504
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:54,800
I don't know.

505
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:55,800
All of that action.

506
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,800
Melissa, bring it to the table.

507
00:19:58,800 --> 00:19:59,800
Fruit?

508
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:00,800
Whip it out.

509
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:01,800
Well, no, I was-

510
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:02,800
No, okay, keep it.

511
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:03,800
Don't whip it.

512
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:08,680
So I was going to talk about, I was going to talk about siblings and how-

513
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:12,480
Do you think those two girls behind you in the movie theater were siblings?

514
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:13,960
They might've been.

515
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,640
Do siblings go to the dentist together?

516
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:16,640
No.

517
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,080
I think they do because their parents want to be in outdone.

518
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,560
They don't want to be coming back for another visit.

519
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:25,400
And whenever I take my kids like that, though, they fight over who goes first.

520
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,400
Really?

521
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:27,400
And I just end up shoving one back.

522
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,400
Yeah.

523
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,400
Like they want to go.

524
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,400
No, they don't want to go.

525
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,400
Oh.

526
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,400
No.

527
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:33,400
So they're fighting about who goes back.

528
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,240
And so then they send their brother, they send Reese as like the scapegoat because-

529
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:38,240
Okay.

530
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:39,240
And he's like, whatever, I'm down for anything.

531
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:40,240
Yeah, he's down for anything.

532
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,240
This is like a Katie Deep track.

533
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:48,320
So I'm religious and growing up, we had moved to a new place and as like a welcome to the

534
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,960
church, we all had to give a talk in front of the whole church.

535
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:52,960
Like a TED talk?

536
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,960
Like a TED talk, only not at all.

537
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:55,960
Like how old were you?

538
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,080
We were little, like we were a little little.

539
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:03,960
And like, I want to say I was in maybe middle school, but like if the very least, like I

540
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,680
think I was younger than that significantly, but I'm the oldest.

541
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,460
And so like mine had like the most bearing.

542
00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:11,640
And so my thing is I'm like, I want to go first.

543
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:12,760
I want to get it done.

544
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:17,380
But I had a couple little siblings and they were like, no, Katie, you're going to go last.

545
00:21:17,380 --> 00:21:22,240
And so the whole time, so they got to go and it was just like, hi, I'm Katie and this is

546
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,240
who I am and okay, good.

547
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,240
Oh, you were at an alcoholic synonymous meeting.

548
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,240
Basically, basically.

549
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:30,760
But they went and the whole time I am just on the stand in front of the whole church

550
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:36,760
sobbing and you can just see, I'm like, I just want to go first.

551
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,840
My siblings got to go first.

552
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:42,240
I'm so sorry if I would have known I would have let you present your topic first.

553
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:43,240
I'm so sorry.

554
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,480
I could have healed childhood trauma.

555
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,520
Inner trauma, but no, it was just really funny.

556
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,320
Looking back now, obviously I survived.

557
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,060
I survived my time.

558
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:53,060
Everything was fine.

559
00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:54,060
What was it about though?

560
00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:55,060
What did you talk about?

561
00:21:55,060 --> 00:21:56,060
I couldn't tell you.

562
00:21:56,060 --> 00:21:57,060
Oh, you don't remember.

563
00:21:57,060 --> 00:21:58,060
Was it about Benjamin Button?

564
00:21:58,060 --> 00:22:00,920
It was about this man who grew in reverse.

565
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:01,920
Weirder.

566
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:06,120
Maybe it's an ultra rare and it hasn't been discovered.

567
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:11,280
I bet if I would have had a sibling, they would have discovered it.

568
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:12,520
How many siblings do you have?

569
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:13,520
You've got two.

570
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:14,920
You don't really know, do you?

571
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,960
I mean, like, you know, you have one.

572
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:17,960
I have one.

573
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:18,960
But you could.

574
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:19,960
So are you the oldest or the youngest?

575
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:20,960
I'm the oldest.

576
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:21,960
And that's, that's kind of what I.

577
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:22,960
What?

578
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,160
You're looking at me like you're surprised.

579
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:30,560
I really thought that Bdubs was older than me for some reason.

580
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:31,560
Really?

581
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,240
I'm so down with that.

582
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,840
But you know, because he's 38.

583
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,800
Yeah, he looks old.

584
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:38,800
He looks old.

585
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,800
He looks way older than I am.

586
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,560
No, I'm the oldest because I'm way more mature than he is.

587
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:46,560
Of course.

588
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:47,560
Yeah, of course.

589
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:48,560
You were conceived on a carnival cruise.

590
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:49,560
So you're older.

591
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:50,560
Las Vegas.

592
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:51,560
Why do I know that?

593
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,560
You should never tell your children that, by the way.

594
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:55,560
Yeah, what?

595
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:56,560
Thanks, my parents.

596
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:57,560
What?

597
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,080
So one funny thing, and I won't.

598
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:05,320
My daughter is named after a city and people always ask me, is that where she was conceived?

599
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:06,320
And I never thought that.

600
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,320
Why would you ask that?

601
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,320
Why would you ask that?

602
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:11,320
That's atrocious.

603
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,320
Would you ever ask someone that?

604
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:13,320
I would never.

605
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:14,840
I cannot tell you the amount of people that have asked me that.

606
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:15,840
That's insane.

607
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,960
Do you say it's because I love eating at my father's place?

608
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,760
No, I don't.

609
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,760
You're lucky she wasn't named my father's place.

610
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:29,960
So many people will not understand that.

611
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:30,960
If you're not from Idaho.

612
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:31,960
Sorry.

613
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:32,960
Well, anyway.

614
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:37,160
So I've always just thought that was very strange to be asked that.

615
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,320
Yeah, I can't imagine asking a stranger.

616
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:40,320
Isn't that weird?

617
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,320
Yeah.

618
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,800
No, I just, so I was thinking about siblings.

619
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:49,560
And the reason I was thinking about siblings is because this why it kind of brought up

620
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:56,560
is because this weekend is the first time that I have an adult child who is going to

621
00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:03,120
take care of her younger brother who has some significant disabilities this weekend so that

622
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:06,160
her dad and I can go out of town for the first time.

623
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,240
So the siblings are in charge weekend at Bernie.

624
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:10,240
Right.

625
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:14,760
I'm a it has me feeling all the feels like I can't believe that.

626
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:21,040
I have an adult daughter that can take care of her younger brother.

627
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,880
Can't believe that we get a vacation.

628
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:29,840
But I also was thinking in context of I don't want this to feel like she has to do this.

629
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,520
Does that make sense?

630
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,080
I don't want her to feel like it's required and that we are making her do it.

631
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,080
Or what's that?

632
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,080
My sister's keeper.

633
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,080
Yes.

634
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:39,600
I don't want that for my kids.

635
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:40,600
I don't want that.

636
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:45,440
So I mean, well, after this weekend, she can not do it if she doesn't want to.

637
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:46,440
But just kidding.

638
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:47,640
She has to do it this weekend.

639
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:53,280
No, I'm just saying I want I always want it to be an option for my kids.

640
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:57,320
I also think it's important for you to include that she's being paid.

641
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:58,320
Oh, absolutely.

642
00:24:58,320 --> 00:24:59,320
Yes.

643
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:00,320
She's not.

644
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:01,320
But it's also part of her job, right?

645
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:08,000
Because she says she is his CSW and she will be support and she will be compensated for

646
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,520
her time because absolutely she's not doing.

647
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:14,080
So she is doing some of it out of the goodness of her heart, but she will be.

648
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:15,480
But just not all of it.

649
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:19,720
But I guess the reason I was like, oh, I'm going to talk about siblings because I just

650
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:25,000
don't want it to be just because I have four kids, one of them who is disabled.

651
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:30,520
I don't want it to be that their siblings have to take care of them.

652
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:31,520
Does that make sense?

653
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:32,520
Yes.

654
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,820
That's a real thing.

655
00:25:33,820 --> 00:25:37,800
And that's something that we think about a lot in our life is what's going to happen

656
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,840
when dad and I are gone and what does that look like for responsibility?

657
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:46,000
And I know that they'll probably be his guardian and assume some responsibility, but I don't

658
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,600
want it to have to be their job.

659
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,920
They didn't sign up for it.

660
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:51,920
This is Debbie Downer.

661
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:52,920
We went from.

662
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:54,080
No, it's not.

663
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:59,120
It's not Debbie Downer, but I'm just thinking of all the times that I had to watch my younger

664
00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:01,480
brother without getting paid.

665
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,800
And you're not really your younger brother's.

666
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,880
I mean, that was just what siblings do, right?

667
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,440
We're just in a typical sibling relationship.

668
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,560
And I mean, we got money.

669
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:12,560
Yeah.

670
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:13,560
I mean, it's part of it.

671
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:14,560
Like, I guess.

672
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,640
Is it your family?

673
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:22,200
I have some friends who work really hard to make sure that their oldest, like it's not

674
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,880
the oldest child who chose to have more babies.

675
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:26,880
Yes.

676
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:31,160
It's not their responsibility to go get the diaper and they do a really great job of like,

677
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:35,480
hey, you're not because it's also like you get that oldest mentality and that middle

678
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:39,520
mentality and that youngest oldest always thinks they're in control and in control and

679
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:40,520
all that stuff.

680
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:44,840
But I think I hear what you're saying where it's not you don't want to force it on her

681
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,720
as the oldest to come in, be the parent.

682
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:48,720
Right.

683
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:52,760
Like, I don't want it to be like a Duggar family where you're assigned like a child

684
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:53,760
in your.

685
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:54,760
Oh, my God.

686
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:55,760
That's right.

687
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:56,760
They do that.

688
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:57,760
They do.

689
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:58,760
And I would never want that.

690
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,920
Except for the first two years, because then that child is assigned to Michelle.

691
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:02,920
Yes.

692
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:03,920
I remember reading.

693
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:04,920
I remember.

694
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:05,920
I know shade.

695
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,320
If that's your religion, we're not trying to shame your religion.

696
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,320
We're just saying I want my years.

697
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:11,320
That seems like a long time.

698
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:12,320
I would be like, bye.

699
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,320
Can one of you kids come grab this?

700
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:20,680
When I saw their laundry room, though, they had like four or five washers, which makes

701
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:21,680
sense.

702
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:22,680
Their family is so huge.

703
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,880
But I was like, I want four or five washing machines.

704
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:26,800
I would love that.

705
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:27,800
Even if I just had to.

706
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:28,800
Me too.

707
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,800
That would be amazing.

708
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:30,800
And two dishwashers.

709
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:31,800
Oh, the dishwashers.

710
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:36,760
My mom has two ovens and holy game changer.

711
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,640
That's like all I want in my life is to have two ovens.

712
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,640
Really?

713
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,000
I could do without the oven.

714
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,000
I would want the dishwasher.

715
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,600
That's very Hansel and Gretel of you.

716
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,600
Well, I like to cook.

717
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:46,600
You do.

718
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:47,600
Well, I like to eat.

719
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:48,600
I like to eat.

720
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:49,600
I like when people cook.

721
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:50,600
I think we're just being clear.

722
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:51,600
Yeah.

723
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:52,600
Fair.

724
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,680
She like whips it, especially at Christmas.

725
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,280
She has things going in every single space.

726
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:01,000
She's got crock pots and roasters and both ovens and the stove.

727
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,520
And it's sufficiency.

728
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:03,520
It's full blown heaven.

729
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:04,520
Right.

730
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,760
That's if I won the lottery, that's what I would do.

731
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,640
I would do two ovens, two dishwashers.

732
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:13,080
I have someone that does that for me.

733
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:18,240
But I would, I would want, I would buy all the appliances and a freestyle cook machine,

734
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:19,240
if we're being honest.

735
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,240
A freestyle cook machine.

736
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:25,920
You know, like when you go to Wendy's and the whole big thing.

737
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:26,920
I want it all.

738
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:27,920
Could one just purchase that?

739
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:28,920
Could we look it up?

740
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:29,920
Yeah, I've looked it up.

741
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:30,920
Seriously.

742
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:31,920
I've looked it up.

743
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:32,920
The way that I would do that right now.

744
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:33,920
Oh yeah.

745
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:34,920
I've looked it up.

746
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,440
It's like $10,000 for the first, the initial investment.

747
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:40,440
You've got your ice.

748
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,480
You're like, you do it with the fancy ice.

749
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:43,480
You can, they do.

750
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,760
And then, and then you have to get all the syrups.

751
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:50,320
So you could probably, I bet at that point, all the syrups, you only want like one.

752
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,680
I only want one, but I want the freestyle so that everyone that comes to my house has

753
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,760
an option, but I just want the one option.

754
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,800
And don't you dare take it from me.

755
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,840
This is giving me like, did you guys see big back in the day?

756
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:01,840
Yes.

757
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:02,840
I love big.

758
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:03,840
We watched it a couple of days ago.

759
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:04,840
That's so funny.

760
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:05,840
Yeah.

761
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:06,840
It's kind of giving me that vibe.

762
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,640
That was, I just remember him on the giant piano.

763
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:09,640
Yes.

764
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,120
And the trampoline in his house.

765
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:12,120
So yeah.

766
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,120
What's your, what's your topic?

767
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,120
Are we done with my boring topic?

768
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,960
Do you feel done with the trampolines?

769
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,160
I was done when, yeah, stick a fork in it.

770
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:24,240
I don't like bringing topics to this podcast.

771
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:29,840
We should in the future, just get a bowl and we can just pull out random topics to discuss.

772
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:30,840
Kind of fun.

773
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,280
That would be really fun.

774
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:33,280
Yeah.

775
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:34,280
I'll collect some for you.

776
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:35,280
Okay.

777
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:36,280
I'll pull out a list of listeners.

778
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:37,720
I don't know if I can just do it on the fly.

779
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,080
Well, I guess we are doing this on the fly.

780
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,000
So yeah, I will see how this turns out.

781
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000
Oh God.

782
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,000
Okay.

783
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,000
Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, newest iPoll employee.

784
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Yes, welcome.

785
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,000
Thank you.

786
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,720
How long have you been here?

787
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:53,720
On earth.

788
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:54,720
On earth.

789
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:55,720
I mean at Idaho parents unlimited.

790
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:56,720
Sorry.

791
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:57,720
My goodness.

792
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:02,560
I think I kind of started around Halloween when I was the only one who dressed up for

793
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:03,560
the occasion.

794
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,120
Was Halloween three months ago?

795
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:08,000
October, November, December, January.

796
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,000
So maybe four months.

797
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,000
I know.

798
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,000
She was kept.

799
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,800
I'm like, Oh my God, she's kept counting.

800
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:16,400
Well, I think maybe four months.

801
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:17,400
I don't know.

802
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:18,400
But wait, I want to go.

803
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,600
I think she's mad we didn't dress up.

804
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:21,600
That's what I'm feeling.

805
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:25,240
Well, I will always dress up because that's who I am.

806
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:28,160
I know I wore spooky earrings.

807
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:29,160
I think you did.

808
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:34,720
I really missed the opportunity to not dress up as a dentist.

809
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:39,000
An overall dress that had spooky things on it.

810
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,880
And it was fun.

811
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,680
Why have I blacked out Halloween?

812
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,160
It's your favorite.

813
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,520
It's my favorite holiday and I cannot.

814
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:50,880
Oh yeah, this was the year they had the blow up costumes and they walked in their blow

815
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:56,360
up costumes for like two houses and then they were like, these are pony arms.

816
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,400
Oh, that's bummer.

817
00:30:58,400 --> 00:30:59,880
Anyway, sorry.

818
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:06,000
Well, her kids all had like blow up costumes that had like the fans in them.

819
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,720
And my kids all have disabilities.

820
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,520
I'm not laughing.

821
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:10,520
That's not what I mean.

822
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,400
I mean, I do mean they all have disabilities.

823
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:18,680
I don't know why I laughed, but they the sensory of it and the scrunchie part on the ankles

824
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,760
and the wrists and then one kid.

825
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:26,080
One of my children is so small and he had the pick us blow up costume.

826
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,960
He was one of those little Among Us characters.

827
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,960
And so it was like pulling him backwards.

828
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,760
And at one point I thought he was going to fly away.

829
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:34,760
It was windy that night.

830
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:35,760
It was windy.

831
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:36,760
I was in my skirt.

832
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:37,760
I had put shorts on underneath.

833
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:43,080
I was going to trick or treat some kid.

834
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,080
Trick was trauma.

835
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:45,080
I said treat.

836
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:51,560
OK, so I was just thinking like my topic is a little also kind of a Debbie Downer, but

837
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:57,160
I was thinking just the being the new girl, especially in an office where I don't have

838
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,200
any kiddos with disabilities.

839
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:06,440
Have you been like I don't have have we scared you like beyond belief.

840
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,240
Like now I feel really bad.

841
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:14,000
Sometimes the stories that I tell, I don't think that I don't think that you've scared

842
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,000
me.

843
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:18,880
Sometimes sometimes like I don't know what to say.

844
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:19,880
Sure.

845
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:20,880
That makes sense.

846
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:22,880
Oftentimes neither do we.

847
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:27,800
Yes, that's that's fair because I've definitely like especially if there's like stories or

848
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:32,760
like like when I come in and I've had a rough night with my kiddos versus when somebody

849
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,680
else comes in with a rough night with their kiddos, like sometimes I feel like there's

850
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:40,140
just this weird line where like everybody's life is so much harder than mine is.

851
00:32:40,140 --> 00:32:47,320
And so maybe I shouldn't be like my my worries or concerns are not near some of the other

852
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:49,640
worries and concerns in the office.

853
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,080
I know what you mean.

854
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,240
But they're still equal and valid.

855
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:55,840
Oh, for sure.

856
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:56,840
For sure.

857
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:58,440
And everyone here has been super kind.

858
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:03,800
I haven't gotten I just find that like I just tend to I find myself kind of walking on eggshell

859
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:10,760
sometimes where I'm like, well, I'll just not say anything because I don't want to I

860
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:14,480
just would not want to say anything that was inappropriate or that I didn't know was maybe

861
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:19,000
bad or also I didn't start complaining about my very easy will tell you.

862
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,000
And then I would be mortifying.

863
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,000
Yeah.

864
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,000
Oh, my gosh.

865
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,000
I wouldn't tell you like that.

866
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,000
I mean, oh, my God.

867
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,000
Can you believe that Katie said that?

868
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,000
Absolutely.

869
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,000
Look at her.

870
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,000
But yeah, yeah.

871
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:39,000
I like my kiddo got a an award recently and I almost was just like I put on the calendar

872
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:43,880
that needed to leave early and I almost just said I need to leave early versus like, oh,

873
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:47,360
no, it's different.

874
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:48,360
I know.

875
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:53,240
But that was the she got an award for kindness.

876
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:54,240
And I was so proud of her.

877
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,120
But I didn't want to like take away from any.

878
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,120
You're not.

879
00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,120
You know.

880
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,440
I get you're the only one.

881
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,480
I don't like I get you of the wording around it.

882
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:08,520
But when you're the only one without disabilities, it's just a different it's a different you

883
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,000
guys are living in a different world.

884
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,080
But I will never be able to understand it.

885
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:15,640
I think that but I think that we just all have different baselines.

886
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:16,640
Yeah, right.

887
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:23,920
I can see it's hard for me when like Melissa and Sarah talk about like the medical complexity

888
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:32,400
of their children, you know, G tubes and specialists after specialists and seizures and surgeries.

889
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:37,360
And I'm like, oh, my God, I don't know how you do it.

890
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:43,440
Versus like when I come in and I tell like mental health stories or like severe aggressive

891
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:47,880
behavior stories and I'm like, well, it's just another Tuesday night.

892
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,520
And then they're like, I don't know how you do it.

893
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:57,760
So I think we just all have different baselines for what is and is not normal.

894
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,360
And then we all get very acclimated and used to that.

895
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:05,480
So then when it goes above and beyond that, we're like, oh, my God, the house is burning.

896
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:06,480
Yeah.

897
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:11,280
But then my version of the house is burning down like level one call the police would

898
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:15,560
be different than yours because you just have a different baseline.

899
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:16,560
Right.

900
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:17,560
Oh, yeah.

901
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:21,240
So like, you know, Melissa coming in one morning and being like, well, so and so pulled out

902
00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:22,280
their G tubes.

903
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:26,160
So I had to make sure I shoved it in real fast or else we would have had to come back

904
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,320
and they would have had to have done surgery.

905
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:29,760
So sorry, I'm 10 minutes late.

906
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:34,520
And I'm like, oh, my God, it's the most Melissa thing to sorry.

907
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:35,520
I'm late.

908
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:36,520
We had to.

909
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,440
Yeah, but that's like no big deal.

910
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:43,480
But that's what we do because I'll run into our executive director's office on like, oh,

911
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:44,480
gotta go.

912
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,280
So and so try to strangle a kid today.

913
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:48,280
And everyone's just like, yeah, goodbye.

914
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:49,280
Have a great day.

915
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:55,840
Like, it's just so normal because our baseline is so you're right.

916
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:56,840
It is baseline.

917
00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:01,680
I can understand how a new person would come into this environment and be like, I would

918
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:05,760
cry for a week if that ever happened to me.

919
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,920
And you're just like flipping about it like, oh, I gotta go.

920
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:12,320
My kid has behaviors or whatever.

921
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,600
So I think there's also like, sorry, did I interrupt you?

922
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:16,600
No, go on.

923
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,640
It's super difficult on the outside.

924
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:23,840
So I think we can acknowledge that you guys have it's a different world.

925
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:24,880
There's different acronyms.

926
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:25,880
There's different expectations.

927
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:26,880
There's different for sure.

928
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:31,000
There's just a lot going on that I'm slowly getting slowly.

929
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:34,400
We're having conversations, but I'm not quite there yet.

930
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:39,240
But outside of that, what was I gonna say?

931
00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:42,500
I'll say this, though, while you're thinking about what you were going to say.

932
00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:48,120
When I first started working here, even as a parent of multiple children with disabilities

933
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:53,320
who had existed in the world, I would come into work and people would have conversations

934
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:57,120
and then I would have to go back to Melissa later and then have another conversation about

935
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:58,120
the conversation.

936
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:02,440
She said this name or this acronym and I don't have any idea what just happened.

937
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:07,280
So it won even for me as someone who was already living in here.

938
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:11,000
It's already it's still was still really and I've been here almost two years and there

939
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:15,400
are still times when I'm like, can we circle back to what that what?

940
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,400
Yeah, yesterday.

941
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,400
What's a mix?

942
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:18,960
You're like, what's this partnership?

943
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:19,960
Yeah, exactly.

944
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,200
So yeah, I don't know how to orate this.

945
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:29,560
Apparently, as a mom of children, it's super important to me that we are kind and we're

946
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:33,280
acknowledging and accepting and, you know, it's just people are people and there's all

947
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:34,280
kinds of kinds.

948
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,760
I worked with you to say that there's all kinds of kinds.

949
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:42,800
That was just how she taught her kiddos, but I find it super difficult because I don't

950
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:48,960
feel like there's any one way to one, be disabled to teach your kids about disability.

951
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:49,960
Right.

952
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:50,960
They're so hard.

953
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:56,480
I've gotten mixed reviews of me being encouraged to ask questions because it's so interesting.

954
00:37:56,480 --> 00:38:01,240
It's so fun or important for parents of kids with disabilities or the children themselves

955
00:38:01,240 --> 00:38:04,440
to be able to communicate their needs and their differences to my kids.

956
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:09,840
But I've also gotten told that it's not the parents responsibility to educate me on the

957
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,800
things I've done wrong.

958
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,240
So it's so difficult to just turn your...

959
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:16,240
And how are you supposed to write their minds?

960
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,520
I didn't even know that disability existed.

961
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,760
Like, you know what I mean?

962
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:21,760
Yeah.

963
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,420
How do I Google that when I don't know?

964
00:38:23,420 --> 00:38:25,560
So it's just so, there's just eggshells.

965
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:28,280
I'm going to say something controversial.

966
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:29,280
Uh oh.

967
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:30,280
I know.

968
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,280
Is there a sound for that?

969
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:32,280
Dun dun dun.

970
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:33,840
No, it's just the sound of my voice.

971
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,600
Because everything I say is controversial.

972
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:38,600
My accelerated heart rate is...

973
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:39,600
Yeah.

974
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:40,600
My sweaty lips.

975
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:41,600
Okay.

976
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:45,960
So here, I don't know if you or any of the listeners out there have heard of this thing

977
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:47,400
called TikTok.

978
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:52,560
Well, there's a meme or a talk or a tick tick or whatever.

979
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:53,560
I don't know.

980
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,760
Whatever we call it.

981
00:38:55,760 --> 00:39:01,120
Where there is it's Jack Nicholson from The Shining and he's just kind of zoning out.

982
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:05,400
And it's like my toddler when they see an individual with a disability on a bus.

983
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:06,400
Yes.

984
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:10,040
And I just want to point something out.

985
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:14,840
I think that that's what toddlers do all the time when they see something new.

986
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:15,840
Anything new.

987
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:23,000
I wish that people might pause just a second before they say, your kid is scaring at my

988
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,520
kid or something like that.

989
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:29,720
And think that, you know, this toddler may have never seen an individual with a disability

990
00:39:29,720 --> 00:39:30,720
before.

991
00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:33,600
But it's something new to them and they are not trying to be rude.

992
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:37,920
They're trying to figure out the same thing they figure out when they're navigating their

993
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:38,920
world all the time.

994
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:40,480
How am I different?

995
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,440
How am I different from this person?

996
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:43,920
And it looks like this.

997
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:44,920
Right.

998
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:45,920
She's staring.

999
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:46,920
It looks awkward.

1000
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,800
Staring into their soul and you're like, do I have something on my face?

1001
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:50,800
Is there something on my teeth?

1002
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:55,480
The way that my child stared at a curly headed red haired woman for the first time she ever

1003
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,840
seen red hair is the exact same way she stared at the man with one arm.

1004
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:03,440
She just was trying to understand what she was seeing.

1005
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:04,440
Exactly.

1006
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:10,400
And I mean, I guess on the other side, and I won't speak for you, but on the other side

1007
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:18,600
of that, what I experienced a lot is my children have what is lovingly referred to as an invisible

1008
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:22,760
disability so they don't look outwardly disabled.

1009
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:27,960
So when they have big behaviors, everyone's like, why don't you just discipline your kids?

1010
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:31,640
And I'm like, that's not how this works.

1011
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,680
How come he gets to act like that?

1012
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:34,680
Exactly.

1013
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,040
And this is this child trying to understand the behavior.

1014
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:44,040
I think if I was at the grocery store and my oldest was pulling a move and someone's

1015
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,400
kid said, why does he get to act like that?

1016
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:51,120
I think literally what I would say is, well, I wish he wouldn't.

1017
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,120
Absolutely.

1018
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:53,120
I think that.

1019
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:54,120
Yeah.

1020
00:40:54,120 --> 00:41:01,600
And if you want to teach him how to not, we're actively paying people with PhDs to assist

1021
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:02,600
us in that.

1022
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:03,920
That's a real pain.

1023
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,360
And I'm the mom of the kid asking.

1024
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,280
I'm never angry at a kid though.

1025
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:10,280
That's true.

1026
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:11,280
Never.

1027
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:12,280
I hope not.

1028
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:16,560
I think if a kid genuinely came up to me and said, what's wrong with him?

1029
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,640
I would be like, a whole lot of things.

1030
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:20,680
Does that happen?

1031
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,640
Because that happens to me.

1032
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:28,280
I think it's happened to my middle child before when he was stimming really, really, really

1033
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,120
hard and quickly.

1034
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,880
And they were like, oh my God, what's wrong with him?

1035
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,600
Like out of concern.

1036
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:39,840
But I know that your family has a really tangible teachable story though.

1037
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,280
That's so good.

1038
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:43,520
You don't have an invisible disability.

1039
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,360
No, he's it's it's visible right there.

1040
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:47,360
Yeah.

1041
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:51,520
I mean, Reese doesn't look, I guess if you looked at Reese, you maybe if you just looked

1042
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:52,520
at him.

1043
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,480
You then started talking to him.

1044
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:55,480
He's nonverbal.

1045
00:41:55,480 --> 00:42:02,360
He's got, you know, he's screeches and loud and his gate is off, you know, so he's kind

1046
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,440
of wobbly, but he can walk.

1047
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:05,440
He's mobile.

1048
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,920
He can walk and run and he might have seizure, but no big deal.

1049
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:09,920
But exactly.

1050
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:10,920
No big deal.

1051
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,560
And I'm like, oh my God.

1052
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:13,560
Right.

1053
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:16,000
But and as it just is, seizures are so it is a Tuesday.

1054
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:20,400
I mean, we are at a point where hundreds of seizures a day were normal for us.

1055
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:23,600
Now, luckily, knock on wood, the Lego story.

1056
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:24,600
Oh, thank you.

1057
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:25,600
You got me back.

1058
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,400
So people will come up to us and say, what's wrong with him, especially like a four on

1059
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:29,400
a playground.

1060
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:30,400
And he's 14 now.

1061
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:35,840
So it's becoming more and more apparent that he is not like another 14 year old.

1062
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:36,840
And he's nonverbal.

1063
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:37,840
He doesn't talk.

1064
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:45,200
But my husband has a whatever compelled him very, very early on to describe it to kids.

1065
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:50,280
I think it's because he's a perpetual child.

1066
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,120
We were at a park one day.

1067
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:59,280
My son has a chromosomal deletion and we were at a park and someone said, what's wrong with

1068
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:00,280
him?

1069
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:01,280
Why?

1070
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:02,280
Why doesn't he talk?

1071
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:03,280
And my husband said, do you play Legos?

1072
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,400
And the kid stopped and said, yeah.

1073
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:09,740
And then it was funny because I could see more kids like starting to surround my husband

1074
00:43:09,740 --> 00:43:12,160
listening to this story.

1075
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:13,440
And it was, do you play Legos?

1076
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:14,440
Well, yeah, we play.

1077
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:15,440
Of course we play Legos.

1078
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:19,840
Well, you know, on each Lego, there's that little teeny little top on each Lego.

1079
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,480
And if that piece is missing, another Lego won't hook to it.

1080
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:28,640
And inside of our bodies are chromosomes and DNA and they're kind of like Legos.

1081
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,120
They're building blocks that make us all who we are.

1082
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:34,560
And all of our DNA and Legos look a little bit different.

1083
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:40,000
And Reese's just happens to be missing just a little teeny, teeny tiny piece of a Lego.

1084
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,520
And it has impacted his life in that way.

1085
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:46,800
But he can still play and he can still, you know, do all of the things.

1086
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:48,520
He just communicates a little bit different.

1087
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:50,200
He just does things a little bit differently.

1088
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,180
So I love it when kids ask what's wrong with him.

1089
00:43:53,180 --> 00:43:57,960
Or if I see a two year old staring, I'll be like, Reese, can you say hi?

1090
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:00,680
Or you don't really try to bring him in.

1091
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:05,160
If parents, I often will hear parents say, don't look, don't look.

1092
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:08,240
And if, and I guess that's real too.

1093
00:44:08,240 --> 00:44:09,240
That is real.

1094
00:44:09,240 --> 00:44:10,240
We're not, we don't want to stare.

1095
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:11,240
We don't want to be rude.

1096
00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:12,240
Right.

1097
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:13,240
So, but we don't also want to be yelling.

1098
00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:14,240
Don't look at him.

1099
00:44:14,240 --> 00:44:15,240
Don't look at him.

1100
00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:18,240
It's from a good place, but it's not the right thing.

1101
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:20,920
I'll ask you to, what can we, what can we do?

1102
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:22,660
What can we, how can we teach our kiddos?

1103
00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:27,400
In that context, I try to, because I know the parent, you're the parent and you're like,

1104
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,240
and I am mortified.

1105
00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:31,240
You want to get out of there.

1106
00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:32,240
Right.

1107
00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:34,760
Well, I don't want to be, I don't want to leave this a traumatic experience for your

1108
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:35,760
child either.

1109
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:37,240
No, my child, it'll be fine.

1110
00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:38,240
He won't carry.

1111
00:44:38,240 --> 00:44:42,560
He wants to play with your child and he wants to just be included like a normal kiddo.

1112
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:43,560
Right.

1113
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:48,120
Cause I, my kiddo doesn't think he's any different than any other kiddo.

1114
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,200
No, that's not the same.

1115
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:55,280
Just I'm speaking in terms of his disability, but I want parents to ask.

1116
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:58,280
I want kids to ask questions.

1117
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:03,440
And I guess I like it when kids ask the questions because their questions are really genuine.

1118
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:06,760
I will always get a parent saying, does he have autism?

1119
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:12,680
Because their neighbors, dogs, niece, his best friend had, you know, right.

1120
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:14,960
So I always get, does he have autism?

1121
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,640
I know someone with autism.

1122
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:22,360
And I, I just like to explain because Angelman syndrome is pretty rare.

1123
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:27,960
I like to explain what it is just offering more knowledge is power.

1124
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:28,960
Right.

1125
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:29,960
So I don't know.

1126
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:30,960
I, I want to explain.

1127
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,040
I want kids to be like your child.

1128
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,400
I want them to win kindness awards.

1129
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,160
And if we, right.

1130
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:40,980
So I think that if I can give a kiddo on a playground, some knowledge about what it's

1131
00:45:40,980 --> 00:45:44,760
like to just be kind to it, into to it, to a kiddo that's a little bit different than

1132
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:47,400
them that talks different walks different.

1133
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,200
I think it's going to make kind of kids.

1134
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:50,840
So I want to be part of that.

1135
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:52,480
What a great way.

1136
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:57,920
Cause then you've got, you've, you're, you've taught children and now they can go and teach

1137
00:45:57,920 --> 00:45:58,920
their parents.

1138
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,480
That's a very, that Lego analogy is amazing.

1139
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:03,040
Well, I can't take credit.

1140
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:06,720
We gave him the credit, but you can, he's not here.

1141
00:46:06,720 --> 00:46:08,040
I'm not going to tell anything.

1142
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:09,040
Okay.

1143
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:10,040
Good.

1144
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:11,760
Anyway, my topic, siblings, nothing.

1145
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:12,760
Dennis, we're good.

1146
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:13,760
Siblings, Dennis.

1147
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:14,760
It's really a full circle.

1148
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:17,520
It really is a full circle moment.

1149
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:23,800
So I love that for us as opposed to what's wrong with him.

1150
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,040
Is that the question that the kids are supposed to ask?

1151
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:27,920
I say supposed to.

1152
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:29,920
I don't really care.

1153
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:34,480
I guess I just start to get cranky when it's the parents who say what's wrong with him.

1154
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:41,800
I think that's when I get a little bit of a crank pot and I make that sound.

1155
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:42,800
That's when I get cranky.

1156
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:44,200
I appreciate that.

1157
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:50,160
I'm trying to think, cause I've had some families or I've had some adults.

1158
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,440
I'm just trying to think like, how, how is that?

1159
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:53,600
How is it brought up?

1160
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:58,440
Because I've had people ask what's wrong with him, but I don't think that's what they said.

1161
00:46:58,440 --> 00:46:59,440
Yeah.

1162
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:02,920
I think, I think if an adult came up to me and said, you know, like, Oh, does he have

1163
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,720
ODD?

1164
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:06,560
That's different than what's wrong with him.

1165
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:07,560
Yeah.

1166
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:09,520
But if a kid came up and asked me, does he have ODD?

1167
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:10,880
I would be very confused.

1168
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:13,040
Like how do you know that?

1169
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:15,420
Did someone else ask you to ask that?

1170
00:47:15,420 --> 00:47:19,360
On the flip side of everything, I think that people, everyone is very sensitive.

1171
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:23,920
So like, if you just act like everything's normal, I'm doing a very exaggerated quote

1172
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:25,200
unquote here.

1173
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:29,320
It's just, then it's just like, obviously things aren't quite, I don't know.

1174
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:30,320
Yeah.

1175
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:31,320
Do you know what I'm saying?

1176
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:34,480
Like if that guy with only one arm and I'm just going to pretend like he has two arms,

1177
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,440
like everything's hunky dory.

1178
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,480
Everything's totally fine.

1179
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:42,040
I'm not obviously going to be a coasting one armed men, but yeah.

1180
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:46,500
And that's kind of a, that's a hard question for me to answer because I learned about all

1181
00:47:46,500 --> 00:47:50,960
of you, how of our children when we were at parent leadership.

1182
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:55,920
And so it wasn't ever a, what's different about him or whatever the question would have

1183
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:56,920
been.

1184
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,660
It would, it was this, this is my family.

1185
00:47:59,660 --> 00:48:05,480
And you'll notice right here is my, you know, one of my middle children and he has a disability

1186
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,000
and this is what it is.

1187
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:11,080
So it was never an opportunity to ask because we all went around the room and shared.

1188
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:12,080
That's true.

1189
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:18,640
I don't, I've never actually been in a situation where I was like, ah, what, what's happening

1190
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:19,640
here?

1191
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:20,640
Yeah.

1192
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:21,640
I've never, I've never been in that situation.

1193
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:27,640
Well, and I guess we ask parents that a lot just in our work, but we would say like, I

1194
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:28,640
say, what's your disability?

1195
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:29,640
Yeah.

1196
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:30,640
So I don't know.

1197
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:35,320
Is that more or PC to say, oh, I'm at the park.

1198
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:36,320
What's your disability?

1199
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:40,600
If you're in the wild, if you're in the wild.

1200
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:44,400
I think again, this is a hot take.

1201
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:47,160
Feel what you feel, but I'm just going to say it.

1202
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,280
Treat it like it's one of those identity things.

1203
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:54,400
You know how you're always like, would you prefer to be referred to as they, them or

1204
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:58,200
he, him or she, her, and you don't really know how to ask.

1205
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:01,560
I think we, we just go with the, we don't ask.

1206
00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:05,160
But then if you see that the child needs help or something like that, you could say like,

1207
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:07,000
what kind of supports does he need?

1208
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:08,000
How can I help you?

1209
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,000
I love that.

1210
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:13,120
I mean, I'm noticing that he's like really slipping off.

1211
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,280
Is that just cause he's working on learning that new skill or does he need someone to

1212
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:18,360
assist him with that skill?

1213
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:21,200
And then that kind of like opens the door for some more conversation.

1214
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:22,800
But I don't know.

1215
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:26,600
Is it really ever appropriate to go up to someone and be like, what's wrong with him?

1216
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,600
For me, mostly I don't know if I like that.

1217
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,600
My seven year old who's trying to maneuver around.

1218
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:31,600
Yeah.

1219
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:34,600
And again, a seven year old asked me anything.

1220
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:35,600
Anything.

1221
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:38,440
I am an open book for kids.

1222
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:39,440
I don't know.

1223
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:43,000
And I guess I do think that the intent is different when children are asking questions

1224
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,020
versus when adults are asking questions.

1225
00:49:45,020 --> 00:49:48,720
But then I've had the situation where the parent will whisper to a child and the child

1226
00:49:48,720 --> 00:49:51,920
will come up to me and pair it back with the parent.

1227
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,360
So it comes from the kid instead of the adult.

1228
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:55,360
Yes.

1229
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:56,360
I've had that happen at a playground before.

1230
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:57,360
Oh, interesting.

1231
00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:02,200
And I looked at her and I smiled and I said, if your mommy wants to ask me a question,

1232
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:05,400
she can come over here and I'd love to talk to her.

1233
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:06,400
Did the mom come?

1234
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:07,400
No.

1235
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:08,400
They left the park afterwards.

1236
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:09,400
They literally got up and left.

1237
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:10,400
I'm like, I'm not going to play.

1238
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:11,400
Oh my gosh.

1239
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:16,400
I'm not going to make your child the middle man, a courier.

1240
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:19,080
But I'm also not going to be mean to your kid.

1241
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:23,440
I'm not going to be like, even though I'm upset with how the mom handled it, I would

1242
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:27,960
never be like, you can tell your mom to come over here or, you know, or rude to the kid.

1243
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:31,240
I was just like, you know, yeah, that's a good question.

1244
00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:34,920
If your mommy wants to come over and talk to me because she pulled her daughter off

1245
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:36,960
the slide to come and talk to me.

1246
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:37,960
Wow.

1247
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:38,960
Yeah.

1248
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:40,880
And I'm so the kid had no interest in being over there.

1249
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:41,880
A subtle situation.

1250
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:42,880
No.

1251
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:43,880
So yeah, maybe that's an outlier.

1252
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:48,680
That is the best example, but it's all in working with people.

1253
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:49,680
Sorry.

1254
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:50,680
I love it.

1255
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:53,560
I just don't like it when adults try to sell me essential oils to cure my skin.

1256
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:54,560
Oh my God.

1257
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:55,560
That's happened.

1258
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:56,560
Yes.

1259
00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:57,560
That's happened to me too.

1260
00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:58,560
Absolutely.

1261
00:50:58,560 --> 00:50:59,560
They'll come.

1262
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:02,960
You're not, but it's so multiple times.

1263
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,520
It's almost disrespectful how it's done.

1264
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:06,520
Oh yeah.

1265
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:12,840
And they start so genuine and they ask all the right questions and then they really make

1266
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:15,640
you feel like they really care.

1267
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:19,240
And then all of a sudden they go, how about some freaking scents?

1268
00:51:19,240 --> 00:51:20,520
Have you ever tried?

1269
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:23,580
And I'm like, come on.

1270
00:51:23,580 --> 00:51:25,940
If you were going to pitch to me, that's fine.

1271
00:51:25,940 --> 00:51:27,000
That's your job.

1272
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:28,000
I get it.

1273
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:32,400
I respect it, but don't do it using my child.

1274
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:33,680
Don't bring my child.

1275
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:40,440
I guarantee you that lemon oil or whatever isn't going to make his behaviors decrease.

1276
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:41,440
It's not grown a chromosome.

1277
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:45,040
Cause I've tried magnesium and you know what?

1278
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:46,040
You name it.

1279
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:53,700
Oh, I've, I would try it if I really thought it was going to help and offer him some support.

1280
00:51:53,700 --> 00:51:56,000
That to me is like the ultimate.

1281
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,000
You don't care.

1282
00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:58,000
Yes.

1283
00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:59,000
Don't fake care.

1284
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:00,000
That's it.

1285
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,000
Don't fake care.

1286
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:02,000
It's the fake care.

1287
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:06,480
That's the ultimate worse, worse experience ever.

1288
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:11,440
But when kiddos ask, I want to, I want to answer every question all the time.

1289
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:21,280
Well, all the time, all the time, all the questions all of the time.

1290
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:26,960
Thank you so much to everyone out there in podcast land for listening in.

1291
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:34,840
If you are in Idaho or planning on moving to Idaho and have any questions on systems

1292
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:42,600
or services for children with disabilities, please reach out to us on our website at ipulidaho.org.

1293
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:52,800
That's I P U L Idaho.org or by calling us at 208-342-5884.

1294
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:55,720
Until then, this has been unlimited parenting.

1295
00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:56,720
Thanks for listening.

1296
00:52:56,720 --> 00:52:57,220
Bye.