This is Jimmy Internet and we want to welcome you to the
Welcome you to Living Up in a Down World and we are at episode number 50.
We are so excited to be with you. It feels like it has been such a long time.
It has. It's almost a year. That's a song about Boston, by the way.
What? Feels like a long time. No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, yes, yes, yes. Feels like a long time?
Hello. What song? Tell me which song that is.
Okay, I'm going to Google it. I guess I don't know that one.
Yeah. Are you sure? Yes.
Okay. I'll look it up in a minute while you're talking or something.
By the way, you're ravishing tonight.
Aw, ravishing? Ravishing. Gorgeous.
Wow, what a word. Absolutely gorgeous.
Wow. Your hair looks great. Your headphones look amazing on your head.
Wow. Wow, yeah. I'm gorgeous, aren't I?
You're in podcast mode. At least I have makeup on.
You've got a microphone in your face. Yes.
And we're at the church in our studio.
We're at the Living Up studio or the BCF studio or whatever.
We decided to come back in on a Thursday night to do this.
I know. We've had a convergence, four or five months,
since we got off sabbatical, which ended in late August.
September 3rd. It ended the beginning of September, right?
I have to tell you though, when I was visiting,
we had Tina and Adam at our house the other night.
Yeah, great time. And I spent a lot of time with Tina.
Well, and I spent some time with her today and she said,
Adam really wants you all to go back to every week because he feels like you're losing momentum.
And I said, we probably will.
We just have to get back in a rhythm with all the construction.
I know. And then we had guys here all day in our office.
We were going to record this morning. And we couldn't.
And I walk in and there's a dude sitting on our couch like he made himself right at home.
He did. Did he have some coffee in his hand too?
I know. I was like, dude, what are you doing in my office slash studio?
He's just waiting on Pastor Russ to help him.
Oh, I know. I'm just kind of sitting here, but we're just waiting. I'm like, dude.
Well, we're hardwiring the office studio.
It's part of the, it's got to be done.
There's so much that we're doing. And we got acoustic panels in today that are beautiful.
They're amazing. This room is going to be dead air, dead space.
Well, and every time we think we're done, we're like, no, we need this.
Well, we found out when you build out a studio, it's a bottomless pit and a black hole.
I'm kind of upset. I'm upset though.
Because I wish we would have made it bigger.
But because we put this wood paneling on here, we can't do anything about it.
And it would have been great if we could have gone another five feet.
It would have been, could have been, should have been. It's working though.
And it's fabulous, really. We're so, so thankful that we get to do this.
And our daughter who runs all of our production, she's kind of invaded our office now.
She's a kid in a candy. Yeah, we can't get her out of here.
It's like she moved back home from college. Oh wait, that did happen.
She's back with us again. They always come back.
No, I'm just, I'm even looking around right now. Just so thankful. It's just, it's amazing.
So we were going to record this morning. I was uber stoked. I was ready.
I had like three cups of black raffle coffee. I was so ready.
And then, oh, oh, the guys are here putting in the, I'm like, what?
And I thought, oh, this will be an hour. They left at 3.30.
All day long. And they're still not finished. They have to come back.
On Monday. So anyway, all smiles. Yay. Hey, this stuff's got to be done though.
But anyway. Well, this started off as a green room.
Then it turned into an office, then a studio. And it's just...
And now it's got a full kitchen and bar over here. Oh my God.
I know. It's a coffee bar. We have a coffee bar. We made a coffee bar.
We made a coffee bar. We put a refrigerator in here for our drinks.
We could live here basically. We just need a shower.
I told Pastor Russ, if we put a shower in this place, I'm here.
Look how much money we could save. Oh my God. Honey, we did that before.
We lived in a church before. Remember? We could take one of these couches back
by a, what do you call those, those couches that have the beds in it?
What are those called? Trundle. No, no, no. It opens up. Oh yeah.
I don't remember. Sleeper sofa. Yes, we could buy one of those.
Yeah. Put a... Honey, yeah. No. I just so agree with everything.
Think of the money we could save. You're so funny.
What about the bathroom you're about to redo? In the kitchen you're going to...
I have a bathroom I just redid here. I know. No, I am. I know.
Lord. So, big celebration. We hit a mark. We hit a milestone.
What? Episode number 50.
Do you think 50 is the milestone or is 52? No, 50. I mean like when you turn
the big 5-0, Hawaii 5-0. Hello. I mean 5-0, I don't have a grip.
I thought you were going to play Hawaii 5-0. Well, that's before the next
stream guys showed up and destroyed my day. Oh, well. You had five minutes.
So I went home. I had to study. I had to study for the message on Sunday,
which I'm totally stoked about the new series. I am too. It's called Mind Wars.
Winning the battle of the mind. Boy, do we ever have wars in our mind.
Every day. I can't wait for Sunday. All three services.
Okay. We started three services two weeks ago. Yeah. Wow. No. We've had three.
We've had three services. Yeah. Three times. It's a lot harder than we thought.
Wow. Boy, add another hour and 15-minute service tacked onto the tube.
I had no idea it was going to be that hard. I'm glad I'm in the best shape of my life.
Yes. I can't imagine. And you know, I was telling people today,
it's not physically hard because we're in good shape. We have a lot of energy.
It's mentally. Yeah. Yeah. It's a brain drain. Because you're with more people
because it's growing. I mean, we went to three services and we added 150 people immediately.
I know. It's crazy. Build it. They'll come. You may have to go to four.
Let's not talk about that right now. I'm already PTSD. So I'm good.
I'm so happy though about it because it is so fun. Let me put it this way.
When you think God has said something to you, but I've never heard an audible voice.
I don't get it clear like that. Some people do. Some people do.
And I just say, wow, now how? I have an impression. I have an impression.
Yeah. I'll have an impression or a thought or I'll hear something
multiple times from different sources. And you'll go, wait, I know. I didn't think that.
Right. It's too smart. It's definitely not me. But what happens is then when you
lean into it, into obedience and it works and it's confirmed that it was the Lord.
Man, there's nothing like that.
Well, it's crazy because our elders were like, well, people are asking,
why are we doing this? We're like, just here's your statement.
You say to them, we're making room. Well, after the first Sunday and we gained 150 people.
Well, we set a record. They came to us and said, we made room.
We did it. Yeah. We get it now. Thank you. Thank you for trusting us.
Because, you know, it's hard on them too. It is hard on everybody because it's a lot more.
And they're older than we are. And so it is hard. That's why they're elders. Right.
But yeah, I mean, it is. It's taxing. But man, what a blessing.
We're getting so many new people. And of course, what Annette and I do is
in between the services, we bounce out into, we have this place called,
we call it the Connect Center. It's this big foyer that's really cool.
It's got screens and tech and greeters and resources and stuff.
It's a big resource thing. But we go out there and we just meet everybody we can.
We turn it into a party. And so from the moment we get here,
we don't turn it off until we drive out of the parking lot.
And there's very little downtime. There is.
Because we only have time to go to the, you know what, the Little Wrangler's Room.
We've only built 15 minutes in and we really need to build 30 minutes in.
Oh, no doubt. Because 15 is not enough.
The thought of doing that right now is insane.
We may have to change our times.
I know we may have to look at it, but that's, yeah. I mean, yeah.
Faith just walked in. Hey, Faith, how's it going?
Do you think we need to change our times and add 15 more minutes to our in-between time?
Between our services? Yes.
She's like yes, because she does production. So there's a lot of things she has to do to get ready for that.
Because there's not enough. You know what I'm most worried about? The parking lot.
I know. People coming in. We only have one way to come in and out.
I know. And the city will not let us add another way.
The city will not let us add a parking exit. It's like really? Come on, guys.
It's hard. But anyway, so yeah, first world problems, right?
It is what it is. First world problems.
It could be a lot worse.
But we're thankful because even though there's always complications is what we do,
the blessing of it is we're able to reach more people.
And the bottom line is my goal has never been to grow a big church.
But I had a pastor challenge me last year because I made the comment,
I said, I've never aspired to be a mega church pastor or grow a big church.
And he just literally looked at her. I was on the phone with him.
He said, what if God wants to grow a big church? He put you in your place.
I felt like I got checked into the glass in a hockey game.
The reason why you say that is because you don't want to be...
You're not the kind of pastor who is all about the numbers at all.
You're more about mega people.
You want people to come to know Christ, to walk with Him,
to live in a life of hope and victory, not perfect life because nobody has that.
And so that's not on your radar.
Where are there a lot of pastors?
It's all about how many people they have in their church.
And we're really not...
And the bottom line is just because we have more people coming doesn't make us successful.
What makes us successful is if we have people that are becoming disciples,
they're following Jesus, they're becoming apprentices,
where they're an apprentice of Jesus, they're following Him.
They have an actual relationship with Jesus.
Right. If they're just keyed up over the church
because we've got the latest whiz-bang technology and LED screen and band and all that stuff,
if they're coming for that, it's the wrong reason.
Right. Exactly.
Bye, Faith. She just slammed the door. She did that as a kid.
Okay. Do you know what I've realized? What?
We drove all the way back here from the church and we could have brought Chevy.
Oh, we were not thinking.
Our whole day got messed up when the next stream guys started messing with the office.
We could have brought him and he could be sitting in the lap.
I know. And he would be too.
Okay. Let's make a pact. Next time we have a podcast.
Next week?
We have... Maybe next week.
I vote next week. We should do this every week. I don't like this two-week thing.
Okay. We'll try it. I think my schedule is a lot less cluttered next week.
So I think I'll be able to do that.
I think that what we're doing is too important.
And the reason I say that is because of the emails and letters that we're getting from people.
Not only that, people that stop us in church or at the grocery store.
That we don't even know have been listening to us.
I know. It's really strange. But here's what's weird about podcasting.
So when I'm preaching, I get immediate feedback.
People say, yes, right pastor, stay on that. You better preach or amen.
Like Mel and Adam.
Yeah. Mel screams out, Jesus.
Yeah. Adam and Mel, they keep me going.
Bring out the book. Now bring out the mirror.
Adam with his big arms up in the air and worshiping God and Mel getting excited.
And people yelling out, bring out the book.
So you get instant feedback, which keeps you energized.
And you get, man, you know, if you hit it, you know, you can come back next week and preach.
It'll be great. Exactly.
The podcast is different. It's like dead air.
Crickets. You've got to...
Here. No, no. Wrong one. Crickets.
Maybe that's what's supposed to be happening.
Oh, okay.
I got to let the boys settle in like hooligans or something.
But this is what happens sometimes.
It's like, hmm. But you know what I found out?
What did you find out?
They're contacting Adam and Tina and saying, what is going on? Are they okay?
Are the prudes okay?
We're okay.
We're great, actually. We're so...
Okay, you all have to understand, we have another full-time job, both of us.
And it's running a church that's growing, which is exciting.
It's kind of what...
It's what you aspire to as a young minister going through college and grad school.
And all of a sudden, you know, you get in out in the real world
and you get your first church and it's a flop or a failure.
Which we had that.
Yeah, you learn how to shrink a church real fast
because really what happens is you realize you don't know what you're doing.
And it just takes years.
None of us know what we're doing.
It takes years of this to really find what works and find what helps people.
Well, I think wisdom and maturity makes all the difference in the world.
And some bangs and bruises.
Yes.
I mean, really.
We have real-life stories of things that have happened in church
that you would think should not happen in church because it's church.
It should never happen.
People are people.
And so we have bumps and bruises, but we did not allow...
We did not let that allow us to...
I know.
We didn't walk away.
I know.
We said, no, we love the people.
We love the bride.
We do.
She may have a few bumps and bruises, but she's still beautiful to Jesus.
So she's beautiful to us.
And we love what we get to do.
Yes.
Segue a little bit.
I'm going to...
What are you doing over there?
So I'm going to say something just a little bit different
because I want to talk about your video testimony.
But before we do that, I've got to talk about our dinner with the Currys.
Okay.
So we don't have as active a social life as the Currys.
Oh, they're every night.
We can't do that.
But we're with people all day long.
So when we come home, it's like the thought of going out and being with people.
I mean, that's what we do all day.
So it's a different social life.
Ours is during the day.
Theirs is at night.
But we try to get together once a week, once every couple of weeks.
But man, life happens for both of us.
And so it's been a while since we sat down.
How long has it been?
I don't know.
A couple of weeks.
Yeah.
Has it been that long?
Well, I don't know.
I mean, Adam and I talk by text every day.
We kick off our morning talking.
Yeah, we talk and her and I do too.
But anyway, it's different than when you actually get to sit down.
So we had them over at our house.
We go to their house a lot.
So we had them over at ours.
And I rock some steaks on the Pellet Grill.
What else is new?
That's every day.
Makes me salivate.
But I love our conversation about God.
Me too.
Every time I always say that mine and Adam's topics are God the world and other things.
And it's mainly God.
And we always end up back at God.
We start at God, we end up back at God.
And that's what I love about our relationship.
That's the value about having friends that are godly.
That are disciples.
And that are true disciples, not people that just go to church.
Or don't just use the name Christian.
Yes.
You literally talk about things in the Bible that you're learning.
That is such a valuable asset.
It's hard to find people like that.
You're right.
That want to spend time with us because they might feel intimidated.
Not by me, but by you.
Because you're the pastor, you're the preacher.
But when you do find those, it's like gold to me.
So I so enjoyed our time.
Every time we get together, I leave invigorated.
I leave energized.
Well this time you didn't leave because they were at our house.
That's true.
But I went to bed energized and just elevated.
That's what good friends do.
I'm just so proud of those guys.
Every time we talk and I hear stories of what's going on.
Tina's been dealing with some health challenges.
She talks about that a lot on Curry and the Keeper.
Which by the way, you need to be checking out.
If you follow us but you don't follow them, we want to recommend,
listen to Curry and the Keeper, two of our dearest friends.
It's like a variety show.
Oh yeah, no doubt.
We're all on a journey together.
Not just the podcasting thing, but just life.
Doing life together.
Dealing with challenges.
Right now she's got some health challenges.
You've had some off and on here.
And then me and Adam are just, we're kind of like Energizer bunnies.
We just keep on going.
It's not fair. Why is it always the women?
Why?
Well I don't know.
But here's what I would say is that when you're going through those kind of things,
it's good to know you've got friends that will come around you and support you.
It's true.
And I want to walk with you and do what we can to help.
I woke up at 3, a little after 3 this morning.
That was my life for two nights last week.
My gosh, I'm so sorry.
It's been my last two days.
I was 4 o'clock yesterday.
I think it's because I'm so excited about life.
I'm just straight up.
So you can't wait to get up and get started.
I can't wait to get up because I love...
And you did at 4.41. You were out the door.
My morning time with Jesus is getting longer and longer because it's not just because I...
I don't just do like a U-version Bible check, the box.
I mean I love God's Word and I love to write my daily devotional.
All that's really important to me.
And the more I walk with Him and the longer I grow and walk, I want more time with Him.
And if I have to...if I've got to be at the office and we've got a lot of things,
we had meetings this morning, you know, and then took a delivery today.
And we had a lot of things moving parts where had I not have gotten up early,
I wouldn't have had that time.
And I need it. I need it. I need it to live.
It's like oxygen to me.
It is. It is.
But anyway, just wanted to...
Big shout out to Adam and Tina and just how proud we are of them.
I call them our kids.
I do.
I do it all the time.
Well, we are older than them.
Just barely.
Well, but we are older than them.
We are.
And therefore, they're our kids.
And so I'm just...well, and I mean more spiritually than anything.
I'm just so proud of their growth.
And so, Curry and the Keeper, check them out.
You can pick them up on any podcast platform.
And you will be blessed.
You will be encouraged.
And that's how I got to know them.
We started listening to them before we knew them.
Yes.
And then by the time we met, I felt like I already knew them.
That's true.
Because they hang it all out there.
And so anyway, give them a listen.
So we had a great time.
We had stakes.
And then we had conversation that just was just off the...just off the chisang.
It was amazing.
So anyway, love those guys.
Had to bring that up and just shout out for them.
So we were blessed.
And we talked about this on our last show, didn't we?
That we'd gone to the studio.
Yes.
Yeah, but we didn't have a finished product.
We didn't know where it was.
So Annette and I were invited by Israel Media Ministries.
It's a ministry we've just started supporting, and it is a media ministry.
I mean, it's all a lot of online pieces, a lot of video, music, and recording.
And they do a lot of amazing creative projects.
They're taking the Hebrew Bible and they're illustrating it so that people like us who are not Hebrew can actually see it, read it, and get something out of it.
Amazing, amazing ministry to Israel.
And Zaev, who leads that ministry, he's the founder, he's from Jerusalem.
He grew up in Jerusalem and now he lives in the States.
And maybe relocating to Fredericksburg, Texas.
Sounds like it.
God's drawing him here.
At least within the next couple of years.
Sometimes people tend to come here.
And so yeah, we'll see what's going to happen with that.
But anyway, he invited us.
He does a series called Freedom in Yeshua.
Is that what it is?
Freedom in Yeshua.
I don't remember the name of it.
It's really cool.
It's a, we would say freedom in Jesus, but you know, Jewish folks are going to say Yeshua.
Jesus.
And so we went to a studio, San Antonio WIT Studios, which was amazing, very professional.
And Annette told her story.
Started off, I'm Annette Pruitt and this is my story.
And then she just unscripted launched into her story.
And it was, it was dynamic.
For me, what was remarkable is that...
And you've heard it a million times.
A lot.
Kind of like you've heard all my messages or you've heard all my little isms, my pastor J isms.
But what was cool about it was even though I've heard it all those times, just hearing you and it being in a different setting, being in a professional studio,
and just with all the technology, which I was geeking out over, I cried.
I mean, there were several times I teared up hearing you talk about your dad.
Which is unbelievable because when I was telling my story, I was trying to be very deliberate in how I was communicating.
And I was also very composed.
I didn't cry.
I didn't respond.
I wasn't really emotional.
Not, not too emotional.
I mean, I was trying to keep myself together so that I could tell this story with poise.
But then when I...
And you did.
But when he sent us the rough cut of it with the vignettes in it and the music and it literally, when I saw it, I broke down as if I was watching someone else play out my life.
And it hit me hard.
We were in the kitchen.
I was crying.
You started crying.
You were holding me.
I've never had that happen.
That was beautiful.
But the quality of this video was, it was almost like I was watching a dateline.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's totally professionally done.
Yes.
And it was a great experience being in the studio like that.
It's our first time to do something specifically like that.
And before we get too deep into it, I want to direct people where they can go to watch it.
And so if you subscribe to our newsletter, which you can go to livingupinadownworld.com, and I'll put that link on there.
I'll add the link.
Oh, that's a good idea.
I'll get Faith to add the link to our website.
But you can go to livingupinadownworld.com and subscribe to our newsletter.
It's simple.
It's free.
You just subscribe.
I'll put you on the email list.
It's a short newsletter.
It's short.
Very little information.
It's basically a reminder and some pictures of what's going on.
What's going to happen with the next episode.
Yeah, it's just to remind you we've got an episode about to release.
So I just do one a week or one every two.
It depends on when we're recording.
So we don't inundate you with all this.
Yeah, we're not going to smother you with stuff.
We're not like that.
We don't have the time to do that.
Right.
So anyway, I'll put the...
We'll get that on the site.
The link to the video.
The link.
And it will also be in the next few.
I'll just add it as a permanent piece to the newsletter.
So when you get the newsletter, you'll have it on there.
And I wasn't sure if I really wanted you to do that.
Well, I didn't do it on the basic... on the typical social media platforms.
I let them do it on their YouTube channel.
Yeah, so it is on YouTube.
Yeah, you can go to YouTube.
And if you'll go to Israel Media Ministries, that's their page.
.com
No, no, no.
No, that's Israel Media Ministries on YouTube.
Oh, YouTube.
Just do the YouTube search.
And it'll take you right to their page.
And you'll see Annette on there.
And it's called From Despair to Deliverance.
Yeah, but you'll see it.
Which he named it after hearing my story.
It's powerful.
Well, what was remarkable, okay, so you and I cried watching the playback on it, the rough cut.
I haven't even seen the full cut yet.
I have not been able to...
Wow, you've been busy.
I'm afraid I'm just going to be in a fetal position.
Yeah, you're going to fall apart.
I need to look at the real thing.
I need to watch the real cut.
So what was remarkable is the guy that's the audio tech at the studio, he's the studio manager as well.
It's his studio.
But they just use a random studio.
Right, they just hired out the studio.
It's not something that they go to regularly.
Well, I look over to that dude, he's crying.
I look over, you're making a lot of noise with your microphone.
I'm sorry.
Moving stuff around.
Sorry.
I'm going to have to tie your hands together.
I know you are.
Wait, you're moving your hands a lot too.
Under the table.
I'm not touching anything.
Okay, whatever.
Anyway.
So I look over and say, Ev is crying.
I mean, everybody, we're all crying listening to you tell your story.
And so I love that they went ahead and produced yours first.
They're doing mine as well, so it'll probably be next week or so.
But I was thrilled that they jumped on yours and got it done.
So I want to encourage everyone.
First of all, I'm super proud of my wife because she was a pro.
And it was from the heart.
It was real.
It was.
And it wasn't rehearsed.
No.
I didn't have anything in front of me.
He said, this is the way he put it, just act like we're sitting having coffee or you're
having coffee with a friend and the friend says, hey, tell me your story.
Tell me about your life and just tell it.
And so I wasn't nervous.
I was nervous before.
And then once I sat down, I was like, easy peasy.
Well, it's camera action and you were just like off to the races.
Now I'm more nervous about it.
I don't know.
Just what, just having watching it, having watched it the other day, just it really got
to me.
Well, I'm going to ask you to do something right now that I'm interviewing you.
And so, so I got to hear it.
I got to see it.
And a lot of people who follow our podcast maybe have gone back to the first few episodes
when we shared, you shared that story.
I did.
And so I'm going to ask you to share a shorter version of it.
Just maybe what's standing out to you just today, maybe different tomorrow, maybe different
yesterday.
Okay.
And this is the way I'm going to start it because I had a woman approach me yesterday
that I ran into.
Don't know her real well, but I've had occasional talks with her and she informed me that she's
been listening to our podcast.
And she said, I remember a podcast you did last year, because we've been doing this for
a year, but this was early on when you shared your story about how there was so much violence
in the home that while things were going on in the background, you were at the window
of your bedroom as a child.
Because it all started, I mean, it all really, the violence started when my sister was born
and her and I are 13 years apart.
Then it continued into my childhood.
And I remember there was a time when I would stand by the window and pray.
I didn't really know God.
I didn't know, but you know, you just sort of like hoping that a policeman would drive
by and you could just raise up your hands and say, help me.
And she said, I remember hearing that.
And she said, it struck me because I live that same life as a child.
And she said, and I'm never told a soul what was really happening at home.
She connected with your story.
She connected with your pain.
And I think that there are hundreds of thousands, if not across the world, millions of females
who were victimized, who were abused, who were traumatized.
The stats, remember when we did the life enrichment center, it was one in four.
I think it's way higher than that now.
That was back in the early 2000s.
Three in four.
I mean, there's hardly a human being I've met through the years that haven't eventually
said to me, pastor, I've never told anybody this, but I was molested when I was a kid
by a neighbor or by an uncle.
I mean, it's just, it's so prolific and so rampant.
The condition, the broken condition of humanity, it doesn't mean humanity is evil.
It just means they're broken.
Well, think about this woman.
Broken people break people.
That's right.
This woman is in my generation.
And our generation kept quiet, which is why I didn't share with people what was really
happening at home.
And what was happening is my dad was an alcoholic.
There are functional alcoholics where they can function just fine, that their personality
doesn't change, but they drink a lot.
That doesn't mean it's okay, obviously.
My dad was not one of those.
My dad was Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde.
And he drank heavily, when he drank beer, he was fine, but when he drank heavily and
added the hard stuff, he turned into a monster.
And every expletive came out of his mouth.
He was physically violent.
He was mainly towards my mom.
But what happened with me, which was so crazy, and my mother shared me with this before,
because I remember talking to her saying, I live with such fear, and I can't get over
this fear.
And she shared with me where she thought it entered.
The root of fear comes somewhere.
It comes from some kind of trauma that has happened in your life, that promotes fear
into your life.
And she said, when I was six months old, which I would not remember at all, but when I was
six months old, I'm laying in a crib, my dad comes home, he gets angry at my mom, I'm in
a crib, and he gets a gun and puts it to my head.
As a six month old, and tells my mom he's going to kill me, probably her and himself.
He was in a drunken rage.
And luckily, I mean, we know the story, obviously he didn't do that.
But then when I was six years old, which I do remember, very vivid memories of walking
in as my parents, I could hear my dad yelling at my mom, and my sister, who was, you know,
like I said, she's 13 years older, so she's like 19 years old.
And I see them in the bedroom, I can still remember the colors in the bedroom.
I remember the smell.
I can remember everything, and I walk in and he's got a gun, a rifle pointed at them, and
then now at me, because I walk in right where they are.
I'll never forget that.
Yeah, that you can you cannot unsee that.
I can't.
Or unexperienced that fear and that trauma.
Yeah, so the fear I had of him was, it was, I mean, it was trauma and force.
I mean, it was just, I lived with fear all of my life of him.
And when I would call him when he was, he would be working, and I would call and say,
Dad, are you coming home tonight?
Because I knew if he was coming home, we were going to watch TV, he was going to just drink
beer, he would be fine.
But if he said he was going to the country club, that meant he was going to gamble, he
was going to drink heavily with his friends, play cards, come home and all hell would break
loose.
So I literally would call quite often at night just to find out what was going to happen
so I could prepare myself.
You know, I'm young doing this.
And it was so hard.
So I did everything I could to get out of the house, every rebellious act you can do,
which I did many things.
And when I finally was able to get out after years of many wrong choices and challenges,
and then I get married to someone who I think, okay, he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke,
he doesn't do drugs, never has.
He goes to church.
He goes to church, we pray together, he goes to a Bible study with me every week.
And then we get married.
And it changes.
And he had a violent rage in him that actually brought out in me as well.
And a lot of it was because I had trauma in my life that I mean, I didn't know what to
do with my rage.
And he had it but it was so bad that the physical and the emotional mental anguish that he caused
was horrific.
But I literally thought, this must be how marriage is.
And it took me 13 and a half years to get out.
I don't know which was worse.
The way my husband and I, our relationship or at home with my father.
Because with my husband, we were still going to church.
We acted like, you know, we acted more like we were brother and sister than we did husband
and wife.
But we live the life that most people live when they come into church.
You don't know what's going on in people's homes.
It's true.
Because with my parents, my dad was, you know, agnostic and never went to church.
And he drank.
There was, you know, he had a lot of substances where my ex didn't have any of that.
And so I literally don't know which is worse.
All I know is when I got out, it's a miracle I would remarry honestly, especially a pastor.
Because I didn't try I was talking to this person yesterday and I said it took me two
years to trust Jimmy, two years.
And she said, when you said that in the earlier podcast, that helped me because I went through
the same thing.
And I thought, what is wrong with me?
And she said, and when you said it took you two years, it was like, good, I'm not crazy.
And I said, well, think about it.
If you've had all that trauma all your life and you meet someone, you don't trust.
You feel like, okay, are they going to turn like everybody else has in your life?
And you do begin to question motives and acts and what's what's going to end up happening.
And I remember many times I thought, okay, this is too good to be true.
Jimmy's there's got to be something in him that's not right.
I couldn't find anything.
I still don't, honey.
I literally still don't because you're you're different.
You're not normal for my normal, my old normal.
I'll just put it that way.
You really are set apart from most of the men that I've had in my life.
I'll just all the men I've had in my life.
Thank you.
Very kind.
And I mean that very kind.
And I know you're not perfect because none of us are.
You wake up on the wrong side of the bed every now and then, but not as often as I do.
You've had to put up with a lot with me because of the baggage I've had.
But I would say over the last probably 15, 20 years, I've a lot of that baggage has just
dropped off.
It has.
It's been progressive and incremental.
It wasn't like all at one time.
Sometimes people think that healing is a moment.
And truly healing is a process.
It's a journey.
You have to trust the process and realize that God has you on a journey.
You're healed and being healed.
Yes, absolutely.
In His eyes, you're whole.
He sees the end from the beginning.
He does.
But from our perspective, we're still in the process and we're stuck on linear time down
here.
And you know, I want to say this to the audience, to the people that are listening.
It's okay to not trust at first because there is this kind of a sixth sense we have and
it's good.
Yeah, it's a safety check.
It is.
And that's okay.
It's just not okay if it continues and yet there's nothing that is causing that.
And for me, it took about two and a half years with you because I kept thinking, okay, something's
going to happen.
He's going to hit me.
He's going to call me the B word because I heard that all the time.
And I've never heard that come out of your mouth ever.
You've never, ever called me a name.
I don't believe.
Do you remember ever calling in 31 years of marriage?
No, I don't remember it.
I don't think you've ever called me a name ever.
And so, but I was, that was my whole life, my dad and my ex.
And so it took me two and a half years to trust and really trust that God really had
you for me.
So I want to move this along to what I loved about the video, the interview that you did
was the way you ended it with, well, not just the story about your dad, but the very end
when you said, you said, God is good.
And they even highlighted that on the screen.
God is good.
And there's hope.
There's always hope.
And to talk about the goodness of God and how that began to, on your journey, began
to get you incrementally healed to where you began to actually be able to receive love.
And once you really be able to receive it, then you're now able to give it.
Well, and I think it really began to happen once I began to trust and then I could lay
down anything that was hindering me from trusting and begin to rely on God.
For one, you taught me so much in the word.
It was like going to seminary being married to you, honestly, just because you lived the
life of the Bible.
You didn't talk about it in the pulpit.
You actually lived it.
And that was something new to me because of what I had grown up with, with my ex and other
people in my life.
So you began to show me who God was.
You began to show me who I am in God, my identity.
That changed everything.
When that changed and I began to see the grace of God, which my name, Annette, actually means
full of grace.
I love that.
Who knew?
I did.
So much grace because of all the horrific mistakes I've made.
I needed grace and yet I'm full of it because he gave it to me.
It's beautiful.
I just had a thought.
Speak to those, speak to people who are saying, but how?
How did you have a breakthrough?
How did you get through to the other side?
First off, you've got to know who Jesus is.
You've got to get to know him.
You cannot just go to church and expect it to happen.
You need to get in his word.
You need to find a friend that can help you, some accountability, someone that you can
get in the word with together, someone stronger than you that can help divide the word because
it can be complicated for just anybody.
I mean, there's so much we're still learning and you've been to seminary, you were in school
for what?
10, 12 years.
It's a long time.
And you're still learning.
That's what I love.
Always.
This week we learned something new about discipleship versus Christianity.
And so the thing is, is you've got to get in that relationship.
The closer you get to him, the more you know his character and you can walk in the fruit
of the spirit, which is joy, love, peace.
You can go on self-control, patience.
You can walk in those things and then you can have that hope.
That hope comes when you begin to fill yourself with the things of God.
But that means you need to let go of the things that are hindering you from that relationship
with God.
The way Jesus said it, he said three words to the disciples that he was calling.
He said, come follow me.
And then the Bible says that Peter and Andrew, who were brothers, it says they left their
nets.
That was their livelihood.
That was everything.
It's like leaving your job going, come.
And your wife going, wait, wait, how are we going to live?
I'm following Jesus.
I'm going to trust God.
And that's what it means to become a disciple, is to leave our nets.
And so I've watched you through 31 years of wow.
I've watched this progression.
You've changed so much.
I've seen so much growth that used to you couldn't hardly even take a hug from me.
No.
You would stiffen up like a board.
This person that I talked with yesterday, I said, can I hug you?
And this is what I've been doing lately.
I'm not just hugging people.
I'm asking because not everybody's ready for a hug.
Because I know for me, I wasn't for what?
A long time.
Until just about two years ago, basically.
And now I'm like, can I hug you?
I just want to hold you.
It's like your love language now and before it never was.
No, we talked about physical touch.
Your kids would say the same thing who are my stepkids, but they would say, yeah, mom
never.
Mom doesn't touch.
She doesn't.
And boy, have I changed.
You are now.
My gosh.
Which tells you when you really want something, God can move.
Especially if it's, I was reading some scripture yesterday in first Corinthians and how much
he wants to give us the things that are in his will.
If it's in his will, he's going to give it to us.
If we ask, if it's not, you know, I mean me asking for a new car, I don't think that's
in his will.
There's nothing in there that says, oh, you get a new car.
It's going to make you happy.
No.
But if I say, God, I need your love.
He is going to pour it on.
God, mold my character.
He is going to pour it on.
And he will use people that have the love of God that will love you through thick and
thin.
He'll use hard things.
And he'll use hard things to craft your character.
And I believe that's what he's doing and he continues to do it.
It's beautiful.
Well, let me just say this.
After this experience with this video and being able to really share once again, knowing
that it's, of course, when we did the video, I didn't know what was going on YouTube.
I thought it was just going on a website.
You did not tell me.
But after watching it in the professional, this professionalist of that video, I realized,
okay, Annette, it's time.
It's time for more.
It's time for you to step out.
So I'm moving into women's ministry in our church.
I'm going to speak a little bit in March, in September.
I'm giving my whole testimony.
I'm ready to go full force where I used to be, where I haven't been in many years.
And I've been kind of holding back, kind of waiting for God to give me the okay.
And I feel like I got the green light.
Yeah, we both did.
Definitely.
I don't want to get into my retirement-ish years like 75, 80, whatever this ends up being
for us, and looking back and saying, I regret that I didn't say this.
I regret that I didn't stand up for this.
I wish I would have said what I felt, what I believed about my God and what I believe
God wanted.
I wish I would have spoken out against unrighteousness and sin in our country and unrighteous laws.
And I should have spoken out against abortion rights and the taking of babies.
Exactly.
Or transgender issues.
I had emotions and I kept them to myself.
I had what I believe is godly wisdom and I kept it to myself.
I will not be that person.
I will not go out and leave anything.
I will leave nothing on the table.
Yes, He's given you a voice and we're supposed to be spokesmen for Him.
So He's given us a voice.
We meet Adam and Tina Curry who happen to have invented the podcasting.
Hello.
And now we're using our voice.
Just looking at the rss.com analytics, we're all over the world.
I mean all over the world.
And we're about to do this via video as well.
Yeah, that's what I'm super…
Not today.
I'm pumped about that.
Our studio is still a chaos because we're hanging our final.
We got eight more sound panels and we've got this high speed internet thing coming
in that we've got to deal with, the ethernet and all that.
So maybe the next week or two.
Yeah, in the next two weeks we'll go video.
So it'll be also be an audio podcast just like you're hearing right now.
But we'll also have the video version of it that we can put on.
And podcasting 2.0 is what Adam was telling me.
There's great platforms now that support video.
So we'll be able to do that and he's going to hook us up.
But who would have thought, you know, we…
I remember turning in our 50s and I made a comment to you.
You may not remember this.
And I remember saying…
I don't remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
But what I remember distinctly saying to you is I have something to say.
Because I think when I was younger I didn't feel like I was legit.
That's true because you always said…
You're copying and parroting.
When I get older people will want to hear what I have to say.
I always felt like I was parroting other people.
You know, that's…
I'm just saying that because they said it.
You had to own it.
You have to find your own voice in what God's putting in you.
And it just takes time to get there.
And so once we got there…
So now we're sitting here with two microphones speaking to the world right now.
So yeah, it's wild.
In a million years I never would have thought we would be doing this.
And here we are.
And I'm looking at you across this table with this gear here and I'm just…
I'm giddy that we get to do this together because God called us together.
It's not Jimmy or Annette.
It's always Jimmy and Annette.
And that's the way it will always be.
Because God called us together into this.
Tina said to me yesterday or the day before she was like,
I cannot believe you're going to do video.
You never want to do video.
I'm like, well, it's going to be hard because it is hard for me to want to be on camera.
But if it gets it out to a different segment of folks…
It will.
Then I've got to do it.
I've got to bypass who I think…
But what I look like or what I sound like.
We got to get over that.
That's part of it.
Those are things we got to get over.
Because all I've been saying is God use me.
Use me.
There it is.
Use my voice.
Because He's not audibly going to speak to everybody, but He is going to speak to us
and have us speak.
Absolutely.
And so…
So we've got something to say and we're saying it right now to the world through podcasting.
Thank you Adam Curry, the pod father.
So carnivore journey.
We haven't been on here in a while.
So man, this is day 205.
205 days straight carnivore.
Wow.
Yeah.
I mean, I still can't believe we get to eat like this.
And we do it without complaining.
I don't complain.
There's nothing to complain about.
The only thing I complained about today is someone wonderful sent us a butcher box meat,
but it was chicken.
And that's not… it's carnivore, but carnivore is more fatty.
We need the fat.
I do more meat.
And I was like, oh…
But it was a beautiful gesture.
Yes.
I had someone in church approach me who listens to our podcast and said, I'm doing it.
I'm starting it tomorrow.
I'm going carnivore all the way.
I said, wait a minute.
You need to go keto first.
She goes, I've already been doing keto.
It's beautiful.
I'm ready to go carnivore.
And y'all have inspired me.
So that's good.
You look stunning.
Thank you.
And everybody keeps saying you're shrinking.
I am.
I can't get into a lot of my clothes.
All my new jackets…
I shrunk into my clothes.
They fit better than ever.
Everything was getting a little tight around the belly there last year.
And now they're all…
You can't…
Everything's loose.
You're going to need new jeans before you know it.
Hey, I got one more belt hole that I can…
I still have one more.
I can do it.
Well, I bought all these jackets over the summer thinking, well, I will never lose.
You know, I'll be…
No, they're all too big.
I'm going to go get them taken up.
So for those of you who are listening and don't know what the heck we're talking about,
carnivore is simply…
Basically, it's B-B-B-E.
It's bacon, beef, butter, eggs, water.
That's basic carnivore.
That's pretty hardcore.
I add a little pickles.
I like my pickles.
You like your pickles.
And we do like our Lily's chocolate, which is a keto-friendly chocolate.
And that's kind of our snack every now and then.
It's our little indulgence, I guess.
But other than that, it's strict meat.
A little bit.
I'm hardcore.
Yes.
I'm very committed to this because I've never felt better in my life.
So anyway, so we started…
I've only got one video up.
I've been waiting for the studio to get put together.
Every time we think it's done, it's not done.
We're so close.
I'm looking around at all this gear and all these lights.
So many pretty lights.
So we got this amazing gear.
So we're so close.
We're dialing in cameras, just getting camera settings.
We had to buy more cameras.
Yeah, we're three cameras deep now.
We have three video cameras and two regular cameras?
No, no, no.
I thought we had…
No.
Okay.
Our phone didn't count.
No, I'm talking about what we bought.
I don't know.
No, that's other cameras for other things.
I'm confused for other things.
Okay.
Yeah.
I just know all I do is write checks for cameras.
So anyway, just so you all know, we're 205 days in and we just recommend it.
If you're interested at all, I want to recommend you listen to a couple of people.
You can go on YouTube.
It's very easy.
There's a guy named Dr. Ken Berry.
B-E-R-R-Y.
Yep, Dr. Ken Berry.
He's probably kind of the guru from the medical.
He's the guy I listen to.
Yeah.
He's a medical industry, was 20 years family practice in Tennessee, and he is by far probably
one of the most outspoken.
And now one of your dear friends, Adam Lacey.
Adam Lacey, Carnivore Today on YouTube.
He's become a dear friend.
We're about to do a video with he and Kerry.
Yeah, he and Kerry Mann.
Kerry Mann of Homestead Howe is also another big outspoken influencer in the carnivore
space.
They're traveling here this May, and they're going to come to our studio and our church.
They're going to interview us for a movie, a documentary that's being made about the
carnivore life.
If we were even considering quitting, we couldn't do that movie.
So we have a lot of motivation anyway, just the energy level.
So here's what I had a new thing come to me this week.
I don't know if I have any time on it.
I'm just going to introduce it.
Your why has to be bigger than your why not.
I like that.
Instead of your why, your why has to be bigger than your why not.
Because the why not is that little voice that says, why not have that?
Why not?
That's not going to hurt you.
Why not indulge in that?
Why not?
Everybody else is.
That rings true with our relationship with God too.
So your why has got to be bigger than your why not.
That came to me this week.
Thank you, Holy Spirit.
Kerry Mann Everything.
How about we pick that up in the next podcast?
Because we can really riff off of that.
Mary B Yeah, we sure can.
Kerry Mann Hey, we love you guys, but I do want to have
a couple of thank yous.
Not a lot.
By the way, value for value.
If you're on Fountain, you can always share such hoesies.
If you like what we're doing, man, just share some value with that.
And we've got several shout outs to give.
Adam Curry with 77,777 satoshis.
By the way, satoshis are a very small denomination of Bitcoin.
And so we call that a stropper boost.
And Adam wrote a note on a booster gram.
He said, so good to have the gang back together again.
Loving the sound of the new digs.
He's talking about the production here in the new studio.
Can't wait to see it on video.
Same with us.
Mr. Adam the Podfather, Curry.
Also Sir Brian with an I, who I love that guy.
I love him.
Mary B He's a good guy.
Kerry Mann He really is.
And I'm just seeing growth in him and good things.
He's on his journey of faith.
He's growing.
Sir Brian with an I sent us 3,333 sat.
Sir Brian, thank you so much.
We love you.
And he lives in Austin.
He's just not too far from us.
He said, I loved Pastor Brian's sermon this past Sunday.
By the way, our new associate pastor, Brian Mandale, preached for his first time in nine
years on Sunday.
Mary B And you would have thought he preached every week of his life.
Kerry Mann He crushed it.
He hit a grand slam.
Mary B He did.
Kerry Mann And I'm telling you, I would encourage you, go to our website, bridgefbg.com.
That's Bridge Church in Fredericksburg, Texas.
And on the front page, scroll down and you'll see the sermons.
And you should listen to Pastor Brian.
He said, I love Pastor Brian's sermon this past Sunday.
Have him fill in any time you need to play hooky.
Mary B Which is going to be once a month.
Kerry Mann Absolutely.
I'd love to meet him.
His testimony really resonated with me on so many levels.
It's like he wrote it just for me.
But I always feel like Pastor Jimmy is speaking directly to me as well.
God bless the Pruitts, the Mandales and all of God's children.
KYBO, that's keep your buckets overflowing.
He says, mine is.
Mary B I'm waiting for the jingle.
Kerry Mann I know.
Again, time.
Mary B You have it, don't you?
Kerry Mann I gotta spend time.
Mary B Do you have the jingle?
Kerry Mann I do.
I've gotta upload it.
Mary B Okay.
You're doing it this weekend.
Kerry Mann I had to replug in everything right now.
Mary B Okay.
Well, you're gonna do it.
Kerry Mann We're putting all this together.
Mary B The jingle's great.
Kerry Mann We're almost there.
We're so close.
And this is from Helena Ingram who goes to our church.
She wrote, Hey y'all, or hey y'all, who's very Texan.
Hey y'all, or Tennessee.
My husband and I go to Bridge Church.
We appreciate y'all.
Just listened to November 14th, 2023.
So good.
I just finished becoming a Christian health practitioner and I'm riding my Habakkuk 2-2.
That's right, the vision making plane.
This podcast meant a lot as I try to make clear my why.
And she wrote Jesus in all caps.
So that others hear God's message through me.
You have encouraged me to keep at it.
Thank you, Helena Ingram.
Mary B Oh, I love that.
Kerry Mann Helena, thank you for taking the time to send us a note.
That means so, so much to us.
Also, big thanks going out to Hi Jinkster.
We know who that is, aka a friend from our church named Jill, but she blessed us with
a wonderful donation this last month.
Thank you so much, Jill.
Again, that's value for value.
We appreciate what we're doing here and you're showing it by giving value.
We have PayPal link on our newsletter and our website.
So livingupandadownworld.com.
Check it out.
And then our dear friend, David Wicker, who just cracks me up all the time.
He goes by Sir, by his grace.
He wrote us a note and said, Hey y'all.
And he got us two cool t shirts.
I think this is his wife's company.
It's her nonprofit.
Really cool.
He says, Hey y'all, what a crazy, beautiful life.
Amen, brother.
So stoked y'all turned down the enemy's whispers and pressed on with living up.
He's referring to when we were kind of like, should we keep doing this?
Yes.
And he wrote John 10, 10 y'all.
He says, we get, we get, no, he said we, we got this because he's got us.
KYBO, keep your buckets overflowing.
Sir, by his grace.
PS, please plug pushbackforliberty.com.
So I'm pushing it right now.
Sir by his grace, pushback for, and four is actually the number four, pushbackforliberty.com.
Check it out.
They got these great stickers.
He sent me a whole pile of them.
It says Psalm 91, which is one of our favorite Psalms, preserve our liberty.
And what this organization does, like I said, his wife has put this together as they teach
you how to go into, into get involved, get engaged in your community, get engaged in
your schools, not just take it lying down, but how can we actively with a Christ, you
know, faith based approach, engage culture, engage unrighteousness, speak into the world.
Nobody else is speaking out.
We need to be speaking out.
Sure do.
And so anyway, check it out.
I checked out the websites.
Fantastic.
And again, that is pushbackforliberty.com.
Thanks for the stickers and thank you for the cool shirts.
All right, team, that's it for today.
Man, that blew by fast.
It did.
Well, we're at almost an hour.
Yeah, yeah, it was fun.
58 minutes.
I'm going to say this out loud for the whole world here.
I miss doing this every week.
I do too.
I love what we get to do here.
I was just this week that the enemy was really trying to keep us from doing this with all
these distractions.
No kidding.
All this stuff came up where it's like we kept getting him to push her back.
It's too important.
It is way too important.
All right, kids, we are out of here.
We love you guys so much.
Living Up in a Down World, we are Jimmy and Annette.
Go check out our website, livingupinadoworld.com.
Next week we're bringing Chevy.
Oh, Mr. Chevy will be on the show next week.
Yes.
Now he'll be asleep in your lap, but he will be here.
He will be here.
We'll send you a picture to prove it.
All right, guys, we love you.
We are out of here.