Hey all, Pastor John here. Thanks for tuning
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and helps you to take your next step with Jesus.
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Now let's dive into this week's message. So what
would someone conclude about Jesus? just by watching
the way we relate to one another? What would
someone conclude about Jesus just by watching
the way that we relate to one another? Or another
question would be, would the gospel look like
good news if they watched the way that we relate
to each other? There's a simple phrase that's
all over the New Testament, and it's something
like this. It's one One another. Love. Confess
to. Bear with. Encourage one another, right?
And depending on how you count them, that phrase,
one another, appears nearly 60 times in the New
Testament. You want a little saying when you're
reading the Bible. If the Bible says it once,
listen. If the Bible says it twice, pay close
attention. If the Bible says it over and over
again, God is trying to make a point. And we
should receive it today, right? Christianity
is not only believing the right things about
Jesus. It's about becoming a certain kind of
people together. And the New Testament assumes
that the gospel will create a community where
people don't just sit in the same room one day
a week. but that they will actually live life
with one another in a completely different way.
And that's where we're going with this series.
For the next three weeks, we're going to talk
about what we might call one -anothering. The
gospel doesn't just reconcile us to God, it also
reshapes how we relate to one another. The gospel
creates a new kind of community. A place where
love is practiced, grace extended, truth spoken,
sins confessed, burdens bared, forgiveness given.
In other words, the church becomes a place where
people actively and actually care for one another's
spiritual life. And here's why this matters so
much. Our culture has a very strong idea about
what freedom and fulfillment look like. The story
our culture tells is basically this. A good life
is a self -directed life. And the highest good
is personal autonomy and freedom. But the gospel
tells a very different story. The gospel says
that true freedom doesn't come from living for
yourself. It comes from being freed from yourself.
And here's what happens when that freedom comes.
Instead of life curving inward around the self,
it begins to bend outward toward God and toward
one another. So why is the New Testament filled
with these commands about how we treat one another?
Well, it's because the church is meant to be
a living demonstration of what the gospel does
to people. And so as we as a church, as village,
as we accept our bring three challenge for Easter,
Easter is coming up and we put out a challenge
last week that we would all consider and pray
and think about how we could bring three people
to meet and encounter Jesus and take their next
step with him. And as God hopefully brings a
lot more one mores into our midst and we put
out all the chairs that we have and we fill this
room with people who are ready to take that next
step. and invite them into that step with Jesus,
one of the ways we prepare for that is by asking,
what are we inviting them into? Amen? Are we
inviting them into a community of Christ -honoring,
gospel -shaped one -anothering, or something
that doesn't look much different than the world?
What would it look like if we actually lived
these one another passages out together? And
this week, we're going to start with one of the
most foundational ones. Serve one another through
love. So if you're taking notes, I got three
points today. The first one is the command of
love. So we should probably start with the place
where the whole vision for this begins, and that's
with Jesus himself. If you have your Bibles,
you can begin turning over to John chapter 13,
verse 34 is where we'll begin. But on the night
before the cross, Jesus gathers his disciples
for the last supper. The weight of that moment
is enormous. And within just hours, he will be
arrested, tried, and crucified. And in that moment...
Knowing what is coming, Jesus gives his disciples
a command that will define their life together
from that point forward. What is that command?
Well, we find it in John 13, beginning in verse
34. I give you a new command. Love one another.
Just as I have loved you, you are also to love
one another. By this, everyone will know that
you are my disciples if you love one another.
And you notice what Jesus does here. He doesn't
say that the world will know his disciples by
their knowledge. He doesn't say that the world
will know his disciples by their influence or
by their political power or by their religious
programs. He says the defining mark of his people
will be love. By this, everyone will know that
you are my disciples. In other words, the credibility
of the church's witness is tied directly to how
we treat one another. Jesus calls his followers
to a unique kind of love for fellow believers.
Because through the gospel, we have become the
family of God. And you notice something else.
He says, just as I have loved you, a new standard
is set for what this love will look like. And
that also means that the love that Jesus calls
us into is not sentimental love. It's not grounded
in emotion or affection. Or unconditional affirmation.
It's not a vague love. It's not a polite or nice
love. It's a self -giving love. Moving toward
people. Serving for their ultimate good. Sacrificial.
Right before this conversation, Jesus showed
them a living example of this love. He took a
towel and knelt down and washed the disciples'
feet, including the feet of the one who would
betray him. The king took the posture of a servant
and he looked at his disciples and essentially
said, now from this point forward, go live like
this with each other. Love one another. So what
does that love actually look like in practice?
Thankfully, the apostles unpacked what that love
looks like inside the life of the church. And
we're going to look particularly at Galatians
chapter 5 in point 2. Number 2, the shape of
love. The command of love, the shape of love.
Number 2, Galatians 5, 13. For you were called
to be free, brothers and sisters. Only don't
use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh,
but serve one another through love. For the whole
law is fulfilled in one statement, love your
neighbor as yourself. But if you bite and devour
one another, watch out, or you will be consumed
by one another. Sorry, I had a seizure there
for a second. Let's try 15 again. But if you
bite and devour one another, watch out, or you
will be consumed by one another. We're back,
okay. Yeah, if you don't know, this week I went
and finally bought a pair of reading glasses.
I've not needed reading glasses my whole life.
In fact, I've mocked my family their whole life
because everyone wears glasses. And so, yeah,
now I'm wearing glasses. I should be wearing
glasses right now. I'll wait. It's not like we
were in the middle of something. So if you think
about this passage in Galatians chapter 5, think
about what Paul is saying. Paul is saying something
about Christian freedom. He starts there, right?
You were called to be free, brothers and sisters.
Only don't use this freedom as an opportunity
for the flesh. But instead, what? Serve one another
through love. That's interesting because that's
not how we think of freedom, is it? See, we think
of freedom in our day and we think independence.
Freedom means no one tells me what to do. Freedom
means I live for myself. But the gospel redefines
freedom very differently. The gospel frees us
from the slavery of the self. Before Christ,
everything in our life was bent inward. Martin
Luther, the great reformer, once wrote about
this. He said, our nature, by the corruption
of the first sin, being so deeply curved in on
itself that it not only bends the best gifts
of God toward itself and enjoys them as is plain
in the works righteous and hypocrites, or rather
even uses God himself in order to attain these
gifts. But it also fails to recognize that it
so wickedly, curvedly, and viciously seeks all
things, even God, for its own sake. You see,
curved -in hearts want and perform all kinds
of things, even good things for other people.
But they do it with a disordered heart. Go to
church. Read your Bible. Serve other people.
Join a serve team. Go to a disciple group. Raise
your hands in worship. You can do all of those
things, but if they are bent in, they become
sinful activity when they're done for self -serving
reasons. And maybe they're done for recognition
or praise, done for earning, done for competition
or comparison with someone else. But see, when
the gospel begins to transform a person, that
inward curve begins to break and life begins
to bend outward toward God and toward other people.
Which is why Paul says the natural result of
gospel freedom is this, serve one another through
love. And love in the New Testament is not just
an emotion. I don't know if you guys remember
Back in the day, if you grew up in the Christian
culture, there was a band named DC Talk, right?
And they had a song called Love is a Verb, right?
Love is a verb, right? Love is an action word.
Love in the New Testament is never just an emotion.
It takes the shape of this. It takes the shape
of all things done for the true good of another.
All things done for the true good of another.
And hear this, this kind of love sees the future
person God intends for the individual to become
and decides that it wants to go along for the
ride and be a part of that. And sometimes love
feels natural and it might be natural, but it
is always missional. Biblical love, New Testament
love is always missional. It always is about
who the person is supposed to become in Christ.
The illustration would be in parenting, right?
I love my children with a natural love for them.
I love them, I enjoy them, I enjoy being with
them. But also as a parent, there's another love
that's active in my parenting. And it's the love
that wants ultimate good for them. And you know
what sometimes that means? Discipline, telling
them no, having them flip out. Not anymore, praise
God, but... Maybe, I mean, who knows, right?
They're all over 18 now, but who knows? Only
the future will tell. But there's a love that's
at work, and it's a love that oftentimes was
in conflict with my emotional love, oftentimes
in conflict with my natural love for them. Because
I could look at the moment and I could say, but
if I deprive this of them, they'll be sad. If
I keep this from them, if I don't let them do
this thing, they'll be sad. But then another
love would oftentimes trump that and say, temporary
sadness for ultimate goodness is better. It's
better. Jen Wilkin writes in her book, In His
Image, about this kind of love. She says, Whereas
our common notion of love is that it is an emotion
to be experienced, agape, or New Testament love,
is an act of the will, an intelligent, purposeful
attitude of esteem and devotion, a selfless,
purposeful, outgoing attitude that desires to
do good to the one loved. In other words, agape
does not merely mean to feel. It means to act.
And 259 times in the Bible, the Bible describes
a love that acts. But here's where things get
a little complicated because sometimes what looks
like love is actually something very different.
Sometimes what we call love can become unhealthy
patterns inside a community, even in a church.
And that's where another passage in Galatians
helps us to see the difference between healthy
love and a counterfeit love. So number three,
the wisdom of love. The command of love, the
pattern of love, the wisdom of love. Galatians
chapter six. One page over, probably. Brothers
and sisters, If someone is overtaken in any wrongdoing,
you who are spiritual restore such a person with
a gentle spirit, watching out for yourself so
that you also won't be tempted. Carry one another's
burdens. In this way, you will fulfill the law
of Christ. What is the law of Christ? He gave
the command there at the end. That's the law
of Christ, that you would love one another. For
if anyone considers himself to be something when
he is nothing, he deceives himself. Let each
person examine his own work, and then he can
take pride in himself alone and not compare himself
with someone else. For each person will have
to carry his own load. Now, at first glance,
Galatians 6 sounds like a contradiction. Carry
one another's burdens. Okay, cool, got it. But
also, each person has to carry their own load.
Okay. Which is it? Carry each other or carry
your own load? And the answer is obviously both.
It's right there. Duh. Another Bible reading
technique there, right, for you. See, Paul is
describing the difference between a healthy gospel
love and unhealthy relational patterns that we'll
see pop up all the time. Because there are moments
in life when someone's burden becomes... too
heavy to carry alone. And in those times, be
it grief or addiction, temptation or a crisis
in their marriage or a season of overwhelming
suffering, in those moments, the church steps
in and we pray and we help, we support, we walk
with them. That is burden bearing. That's what
we're commanded to do. But Paul also says each
person must carry their own load, meaning that
every person remains responsible before God for
their own life, their own obedience, their own
repentance, their own decisions, their own growth.
In other words, we don't become some Franken
-person where we join together and we become
one thing and we can't separate. We each have
to carry our own load. A healthy love helps people
carry burdens without taking over their life.
See, if I come home and I'm in a funk or I wake
up on the wrong side of the bed, my wife will
engage with me and see what's up. And if there's
an actual problem to solve, my wife is really
good about sitting and listening and then talking
it out and providing wise counsel. But if for
some reason I'm functioning in that emotive space
or I'm just dumping my problems on her, my wife
is also perfectly comfortable with letting me
wrestle with my own feelings and the Lord all
on my own. She doesn't need to hold my hand through
it and it doesn't affect the rest of her day
or the way she responds to me from that point
forward. And this frees her to be able to recognize
and see things that are off and to love me in
a way that I need to be loved and love me enough
to call them what they are and allow the Holy
Spirit to bring conviction and compliance with
the word. It's a balanced approach to my moments
of weakness. But there is also something that
also quietly distorts love inside Christian communities
and marriages and relationships all over. And
it's a relational phenomenon that's sometimes
described as codependency. Codependency happens
when we begin to take responsibility for things
that actually belong to someone else. Their emotions,
their decisions, their spiritual growth, their
consequences for their actions. And instead of
helping them grow in maturity and supporting
them along that path, we unintentionally begin
to manage their life for them. And at first,
it can look very loving. Codependency often looks
very sacrificial. Stepping in, helping, fixing,
rescuing. But underneath it is something very
different because it's often driven by anxiety.
It's often driven by guilt. Or sometimes it's
driven by the need to be needed or to be a rescuer
on one side and for some to be a victim on the
other. Sometimes it's driven by fear of conflict.
And so instead of allowing someone to face the
consequences that might lead them to repentance
or maturity, we step in and remove the weight
from them. And the tragic result is this, that
there is never growth. And we slowly become exhausted
carrying a load that is not ours to carry. A
few practical examples would be something like
this. Sometimes codependency shows up when someone
repeatedly makes destructive choices. But instead
of allowing those choices and the consequences
of those choices to confront them, Someone keeps
stepping in to fix everything. Paying the bill
when someone refuses to manage their finances.
Covering up for or excusing patterns of sin.
Constantly rescuing them from the consequences
of their actions. Over time, the person never
learns responsibility because someone else is
always carrying their load. Another way codependency
shows up is emotional responsibility. I think
this one's huge. I think a lot of people are
afflicted with this. Feeling like it's your job
to keep or make someone else happy. It's your
job to regulate their emotions. To prevent them
from becoming or being upset. You might avoid
telling the truth or any sort of confrontation
so that they don't react poorly. And ultimately,
it's because if they act poorly, how that will
make you feel. Looks like love, but it's really
bent in on yourself. But now their emotional
life controls you. And that's not love or freedom.
That's enslavement. And the Bible never calls
us to that. You notice in Galatians 6, what it
actually says, it restores someone who's caught
in sin gently. It says carry burdens for those
who can't carry them. And it says each person
carries their own load. See, healthy love helps
someone grow toward responsibility before God.
It doesn't take over their life. You think about
this. What if God was too afraid of hurting our
feelings? and never called sin what it is? Where
would we be if God was too afraid of hurting
our feelings so he didn't call our sin, sin?
We wouldn't know we need a savior and we would
have no explanation for why everything around
us is broken and distorted. And we wouldn't know
why everything inside of us is broken and distorted.
We have no context and therefore we would have
no hope of salvation. Do you like your sin exposed?
Anyone? Come up here. Let's do it right now.
Any takers? No. No, we don't like our sin exposed,
right? It's uncomfortable. It stirs up all kinds
of things. Shame and guilt or pride. Like, you
got your own stuff, right? But is it for our
good? Well, unless something is brought into
the light, unless it has a name that you can
call it, you can't even begin to address it,
can you? And here's another thing. Sin always
costs you something. Even a sin that you've hidden
away or you've stashed away or you've become
grown to accept it, it's always costing you something.
And this love that's held out for us in the Bible,
this agape love that acts and moves for the good
of others, it must be sincere, a true love. And
what's interesting about the description of love,
I see people tracking with something. Is there?
Yeah. We synchronize that, so when I make a point,
it's like, ching, ching, yeah. No, you can turn
down those lights if they become distracting
back there, the ones up there. Where were we?
Good. Thank you, Kimberly. Sin always costs you
something, right? There's a part in the Bible
that says love must be sincere, but this is interesting
because it's talking about this agape love. What's
the very next thing that it says in that passage?
Love must be sincere. detest what is evil, or
an old translation said, hate what is evil. So
there's a kind of hate in love. Isn't that interesting?
There's a hate built into true biblical New Testament
love, and it's a detest or hate for what is evil
and a clinging to what is good. And sometimes
the most loving thing that you can do is refuse
to remove the consequence that God might be using
to wake someone up. Not because you don't love
them, but because you actually do love them.
And there's another relational pattern, another
distorted love that often travels with codependency,
and it's something called triangulation. It's
just a technical term. As soon as I start to
talk about it, You'll know. Triangulation happens
when we recruit people to manage a conflict we're
unwilling to face. We recruit someone or people,
others, to manage a conflict we're unwilling
to face. Instead of going directly to the person
involved, we go to someone else. Now a third
person is pulled into the tension, and instead
of resolving the issue, what happens? The conflict.
And you'll see it in conversations like, can
I talk to you about something that's bothering
me about them? Or I just need to process something
about what they did. Or have you ever noticed
this about that person? Or maybe it's, I just
need to vent. And we're not talking about the
washer and dryer, right? And suddenly the issue
is no longer between two people. The issue is
no longer focused on reconciliation or healing.
It's focused, it now involves three people, right?
The two involved and then the one that's been
added. And if you know anything about humanity
or people, you think it's going to stay at three?
Now it's at four, five, and pretty soon you can
be in a community of people and everyone else
is talking about it and the one who should have
been gone to in the first place doesn't even
know what's happening. The original issue never
actually gets resolved. Jesus gave a very direct
framework for conflict in the church in Matthew
18. If someone sins against you, go to them directly.
Don't talk about him. Don't gather opinions.
Don't find allies. Don't build a case. Don't
recruit others in. Go to them directly. Because
healthy gospel community requires direct, honest
relationships and open dialogue over time. And
triangulation destroys that. It always breeds
suspicion. It spreads confusion. It divides people.
And eventually, it fractures trust inside the
church. Why does this matter so much? Well, it
matters so much because codependency or triangulation
actually undermine what the gospel is trying
to build in our community. The gospel is forming
a people who love deeply, who speak the truth
in love, who help each other grow, who carry
burdens that are too heavy for one person to
bear and also encourage each other to carry their
own load. And codependency flows out of a fear
of man and a lack of fear of God because it leads
to idolatry of someone else. Needing someone's
approval or needing their emotional stability
more than trusting God. And triangulation often
reveals a distorted desire to control outcomes
and the narrative rather than to pursue real,
honest, biblical reconciliation because of your
love for the other person and your willingness
to fight for who God wants them to be. And that
slowly erodes the beauty of what the church is
meant to be. But the gospel shows us a better
way. A wise and healthy love. As Christ followers,
we practice a love that moves toward tension
in relationship, not away. That always seeks
to cover over a multitude of sins, speaking the
truth in love for the good of who the other person
is becoming in Christ. Again, I want to remind,
it's not merely sentimental or emotional. but
it's missional love. It's a love that's on a
mission to help the person become who God wants
them to become. And that means I can speak encouragement
when encouragement is right, but that also means
I need to speak correction when correction is
needed. I need to speak the truth in love. I
need to restore someone who's fallen gently,
but it's all because I want them to become who
God is making them to be. My love is missional,
not just bent in on myself. And so in conclusion,
Jesus gives the command, love one another. And
Paul shows us the shape of this love. Serve one
another through love. And Paul gives us the wisdom
to live it out in a healthy way. Carry one another's
burdens. But each person carries their own load.
In other words, the church is meant to be a place
where people genuinely love one another. Where
we step toward people when life gets heavy. Where
we serve each other in practical ways. And where
we help each other grow toward maturity in Christ.
That's what the gospel produces, a new kind of
community. And that kind of church doesn't happen
accidentally. But that kind of church is irresistible
to a world that only knows conflict and strife.
It happens when ordinary believers begin to live
out these commands in everyday life. And so just
a few quick applications. If you're here today
and you tend to stay on the edges of community,
you come, you listen, you may have a seat, but
then you leave. The invitation is really simple.
Just step one layer deeper into community. Take
one step further into community. Join a group,
serve on a team, build real relationship, because
you can't live out the one another commands from
the sidelines. Yes, we are called to love everyone,
but there is a peculiar love, a particular love
we are called and commanded to show one another.
And that's what we're talking about. According
to Jesus, the way we love one another is one
of the clearest ways the world sees the reality
of the gospel. So if you're on the edges, take
a step in. If you tend toward codependency or
triangulation or any of those other things, relational
counterfeits that we talked about, remember,
love carries burdens, but it doesn't carry someone
else's load. And I think this morning, there
are some people who need to lay down someone
else's load you've been carrying. Love requires
it. You say, no, no, no, no, that's not loving.
No, love, the biblical love, the love modeled
for us in Christ requires it. It requires that
we trust God and that we show healthy love to
one another that helps people grow in who they're
becoming before God. If you're in a season where
life feels heavy, I want you to hear this. You
were never meant to carry every burden alone.
Part of the gift of the church is that there
are people who will walk with you and help carry
the weight of this season. Jesus said the world
will recognize his disciples by their love for
one another, not by our buildings, not by our
programs, but by the way we love and serve each
other.