WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.359 Before I get into the scripture though, I wanna 00:00:02.359 --> 00:00:06.719 say I believe that we are called to be a people 00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:08.679 who are shaped by the Bible. I said this at the 00:00:08.679 --> 00:00:11.339 beginning. I think disciples of Jesus are supposed 00:00:11.339 --> 00:00:16.620 to be Bible people. We're supposed to be Bible 00:00:16.620 --> 00:00:18.920 people because we believe that the Bible, the 00:00:18.920 --> 00:00:22.519 word of God, is God's revelation of who he is 00:00:22.519 --> 00:00:27.190 and what he desires and intends for us. The word, 00:00:27.250 --> 00:00:29.750 the Bible tells us of the story of God's love 00:00:29.750 --> 00:00:32.490 for his creation and the links to which he would 00:00:32.490 --> 00:00:35.810 go to redeem and restore and save this broken 00:00:35.810 --> 00:00:38.850 world and these broken people of which I'm a 00:00:38.850 --> 00:00:42.570 part of. And the word tells us about this. We 00:00:42.570 --> 00:00:45.890 know our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Yes, 00:00:45.929 --> 00:00:48.810 in a personal way, but we know of him and his 00:00:48.810 --> 00:00:51.369 work and the work of the gospel because of the 00:00:51.369 --> 00:00:57.890 word. The word. is like a blueprint for flourishing. 00:00:58.469 --> 00:01:00.649 It's like a blueprint for acceptable worship 00:01:00.649 --> 00:01:03.210 of our God, a blueprint for relationship with 00:01:03.210 --> 00:01:05.730 God, our Father, and Creator, but it's so much 00:01:05.730 --> 00:01:08.510 more than a blueprint. A blueprint's kind of 00:01:08.510 --> 00:01:10.390 a lifeless document that stands in front of it. 00:01:10.390 --> 00:01:12.189 If you don't do anything with it, it doesn't 00:01:12.189 --> 00:01:16.069 do anything, right? But the Bible, as we read 00:01:16.069 --> 00:01:19.329 it and as we meditate on it and study it, it 00:01:19.329 --> 00:01:24.900 does something in us, amen? It does something 00:01:24.900 --> 00:01:27.599 innocent, it can expose our hidden desires and 00:01:27.599 --> 00:01:30.640 our intentions. We might read something and recall, 00:01:30.739 --> 00:01:32.299 anyone ever read something in the Bible and go, 00:01:32.340 --> 00:01:35.200 I don't like that. I just don't know, I don't 00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:40.219 like that. What's up with that? We can get offended 00:01:40.219 --> 00:01:42.719 with the Bible and some of you even after last 00:01:42.719 --> 00:01:45.590 week. Yeah, afterward you came up to me and you 00:01:45.590 --> 00:01:48.670 were chewing on last week's sermon out of First 00:01:48.670 --> 00:01:51.450 Peter chapter two and you're like, yeah, I still 00:01:51.450 --> 00:01:53.049 gotta, I gotta gnaw on this one for a little 00:01:53.049 --> 00:01:57.590 while. I don't like it. I don't like it. The 00:01:57.590 --> 00:02:01.269 weight of the second half of First Peter is really 00:02:01.269 --> 00:02:04.689 centered around how we as his people can have 00:02:04.689 --> 00:02:08.129 a gospel impact on this world. How we can live 00:02:08.129 --> 00:02:11.270 in such a way that people will see our life and 00:02:11.270 --> 00:02:15.099 our conduct drawing some to follow and honor 00:02:15.099 --> 00:02:19.219 King Jesus. Peter is addressing these different 00:02:19.219 --> 00:02:22.520 social relationships in this second half and 00:02:22.520 --> 00:02:24.819 he began with believers in our relationship with 00:02:24.819 --> 00:02:28.439 governing officials, governing authorities. And 00:02:28.439 --> 00:02:30.479 it was something like this, as servants of God, 00:02:30.780 --> 00:02:33.280 we have our ultimate allegiance owed to God and 00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:36.340 God alone. We owe our ultimate allegiance to 00:02:36.340 --> 00:02:39.500 God and God alone, but also as servants of God. 00:02:39.909 --> 00:02:44.449 We willingly and joyfully obey God when He sends 00:02:44.449 --> 00:02:47.550 us out as strangers and exiles in this world 00:02:47.550 --> 00:02:50.969 to submit to the authorities of this world. Why? 00:02:51.349 --> 00:02:55.050 In order that we do not offend them and turn 00:02:55.050 --> 00:02:57.449 their focus onto our rebellion against them, 00:02:57.710 --> 00:03:01.710 but instead allow us to live at peace in this 00:03:01.710 --> 00:03:05.090 world, in our communities, so that we can focus 00:03:05.090 --> 00:03:08.409 our attention and effort on having a gospel impact. 00:03:08.680 --> 00:03:12.280 on the people around us. We submit because God 00:03:12.280 --> 00:03:15.099 has established authority for the good of society, 00:03:15.699 --> 00:03:17.740 but our ultimate allegiance is to God and our 00:03:17.740 --> 00:03:21.819 submission is because God has commanded us as 00:03:21.819 --> 00:03:24.659 exiles and strangers to submit to those in authority 00:03:24.659 --> 00:03:27.080 here. Why? So we can accomplish the mission, 00:03:27.460 --> 00:03:31.740 the great commission. But some of it can be really 00:03:31.740 --> 00:03:35.180 hard to hear. Sometimes the word is very difficult. 00:03:35.730 --> 00:03:38.409 to ingest and take in. There was a conversation 00:03:38.409 --> 00:03:40.189 I had with someone, probably someone in this 00:03:40.189 --> 00:03:42.409 room last week. But it went something like this 00:03:42.409 --> 00:03:44.729 right after sermon. It said, I didn't like anything 00:03:44.729 --> 00:03:48.930 you said. You preach your heart out first service 00:03:48.930 --> 00:03:50.310 and second service and then someone comes up 00:03:50.310 --> 00:03:51.849 and you go, I didn't like anything you said. 00:03:52.289 --> 00:03:55.930 Like nothing at all, but I know it's true. That's 00:03:55.930 --> 00:03:57.870 what they followed up with. I didn't like anything 00:03:57.870 --> 00:04:01.620 you said, but I knew it was true. And I love 00:04:01.620 --> 00:04:04.039 that. I love when the Word interacts with us. 00:04:04.180 --> 00:04:06.580 Like, what did the Word just do in that situation? 00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:09.240 Like, we all thought we were reading the Word, 00:04:09.259 --> 00:04:12.819 but the Word was actually reading us. The Word 00:04:12.819 --> 00:04:15.639 was reading us. It was exposing us. It was shining 00:04:15.639 --> 00:04:17.779 light on our thoughts and our desires and our 00:04:17.779 --> 00:04:20.980 motives, exposing differences between what it 00:04:20.980 --> 00:04:23.620 says is truth and the perspective of my hearts 00:04:23.620 --> 00:04:27.790 or your hearts. Hebrews chapter four says, the 00:04:27.790 --> 00:04:31.089 word of God is living and effective and it's 00:04:31.089 --> 00:04:34.769 sharper than a double edged sword, penetrating 00:04:34.769 --> 00:04:37.449 as far as the separation of soul and spirit, 00:04:37.649 --> 00:04:40.310 joints and marrow. It is able to judge the thoughts 00:04:40.310 --> 00:04:45.949 and intentions of the heart. The Center for Bible 00:04:45.949 --> 00:04:49.430 Engagement conducted a study in 2010. It was 00:04:49.430 --> 00:04:52.730 aimed at understanding how often people read 00:04:52.730 --> 00:04:56.189 or listen to the Bible. And then trying to correlate 00:04:56.189 --> 00:05:00.569 that with behavior, emotional health, and spiritual 00:05:00.569 --> 00:05:03.850 growth. So they did this study, they surveyed 00:05:03.850 --> 00:05:07.410 over 100 ,000 people, ages I think eight, all 00:05:07.410 --> 00:05:11.829 the way up to 80. 100 ,000 people, a really large 00:05:11.829 --> 00:05:14.970 survey sample, both Christians and non -Christians, 00:05:15.050 --> 00:05:17.870 general public. And a basic summary of this survey 00:05:17.870 --> 00:05:21.790 found this, that reading the Bible one time a 00:05:21.790 --> 00:05:26.569 week, Some of y 'all, when I just read the word, 00:05:26.910 --> 00:05:28.490 that was the first time you read the word this 00:05:28.490 --> 00:05:33.470 week. Reading the Bible one time a week has zero 00:05:33.470 --> 00:05:37.029 effect on your life, according to what they were 00:05:37.029 --> 00:05:40.329 judging. And I'll get to what those categories 00:05:40.329 --> 00:05:43.870 are in a second. But one time a week, zero effect. 00:05:45.009 --> 00:05:47.870 They found, okay, one time a week, two times 00:05:47.870 --> 00:05:53.829 a week, zero effect. Three times a week, very 00:05:53.829 --> 00:05:57.149 marginal effect and then after three times you 00:05:57.149 --> 00:06:00.209 hit four and four was the tipping point and at 00:06:00.209 --> 00:06:03.670 four or four plus days a week of reading or studying 00:06:03.670 --> 00:06:07.610 or listening to the word You saw this flood of 00:06:07.610 --> 00:06:11.050 effect in people's lives I'll read some of that 00:06:11.050 --> 00:06:14.189 What they found people who read their Bible four 00:06:14.189 --> 00:06:18.310 plus days a week were 57 % less likely to get 00:06:18.310 --> 00:06:23.980 drunk We're 67 % less likely to have sex outside 00:06:23.980 --> 00:06:27.800 of the marriage covenant. We're 61 % less likely 00:06:27.800 --> 00:06:31.180 to look at pornography and we're 74 % less likely 00:06:31.180 --> 00:06:35.360 to gamble what they called risky behavior. Behaviors 00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:37.480 that you might mark. Now I'm not trying to go 00:06:37.480 --> 00:06:39.220 through each one of those and teach on the sinfulness 00:06:39.220 --> 00:06:41.600 or not sinfulness of those or whatever. We'll 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:43.100 have time for that as we go through the word. 00:06:44.129 --> 00:06:46.449 But what they labeled as risky behavior saw a 00:06:46.449 --> 00:06:48.550 dramatic drop when people read the Word of God 00:06:48.550 --> 00:06:52.089 four times a week or more. But not only that, 00:06:52.490 --> 00:06:54.550 reading the Bible most days of the week linked 00:06:54.550 --> 00:06:57.970 to lower odds of feeling bitter, discouraged, 00:06:58.790 --> 00:07:02.470 lonely, having difficulty forgiving, destructive 00:07:02.470 --> 00:07:05.290 thinking, anger. All of those were reduced in 00:07:05.290 --> 00:07:09.170 the range of 30 to 40 % against those who didn't 00:07:09.170 --> 00:07:13.199 read four days or more. And again, that's not 00:07:13.199 --> 00:07:16.279 all either. This is where the statutes go through 00:07:16.279 --> 00:07:18.959 the roof. For those who read the Bible four days 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:23.500 or more, they were 228 % more likely to share 00:07:23.500 --> 00:07:28.980 their faith, 231 % more likely to disciple other 00:07:28.980 --> 00:07:34.100 people, and 407 % more likely to memorize the 00:07:34.100 --> 00:07:36.379 scripture. You get the point. The point is that 00:07:36.379 --> 00:07:38.439 the scripture, we go to the scripture, we read 00:07:38.439 --> 00:07:40.019 the scripture, but the scripture has an effect 00:07:40.019 --> 00:07:43.730 on us. The scripture changes us. Something happens 00:07:43.730 --> 00:07:46.470 in us as we go to the scripture and we wanna 00:07:46.470 --> 00:07:51.370 be people about the word. And so today's word 00:07:51.370 --> 00:07:58.709 is 1st Peter chapter three in verse one. In the 00:07:58.709 --> 00:08:02.290 same way, wives submit yourselves to your own 00:08:02.290 --> 00:08:05.610 husbands so that even if some disobey the word, 00:08:05.949 --> 00:08:08.589 they may be won over without a word by the way 00:08:08.589 --> 00:08:11.850 their wives live. when they observe your pure, 00:08:12.149 --> 00:08:15.170 reverent lives. Don't let your beauty consist 00:08:15.170 --> 00:08:18.050 of outward things like elaborate hairstyles or 00:08:18.050 --> 00:08:20.769 wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, but rather 00:08:20.769 --> 00:08:24.029 what is inside the heart, the imperishable quality 00:08:24.029 --> 00:08:26.990 of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great 00:08:26.990 --> 00:08:30.180 worth in God's sight. For in the past the holy 00:08:30.180 --> 00:08:33.679 women who put their hope in God also adorn themselves 00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:36.179 in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 00:08:36.500 --> 00:08:39.519 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. 00:08:39.740 --> 00:08:42.279 You have become her children when you do what 00:08:42.279 --> 00:08:46.399 is good and do not fear any intimidation. Husbands 00:08:46.399 --> 00:08:49.379 in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding 00:08:49.379 --> 00:08:52.559 way as with a weaker partner, showing them honor 00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:55.340 as co -heirs of the grace of life so that your 00:08:55.340 --> 00:08:59.460 prayers will not be hindered. This is God's word. 00:09:00.779 --> 00:09:04.740 And now you understand my introduction. Now you 00:09:04.740 --> 00:09:06.740 understand my introduction, because I promise 00:09:06.740 --> 00:09:09.879 you in this room right now, some of you are going, 00:09:10.100 --> 00:09:13.620 I thought this was Father's Day. And there were 00:09:13.620 --> 00:09:18.559 six verses about wives, one about husbands, and 00:09:18.559 --> 00:09:20.519 some really controversial language in there. 00:09:21.519 --> 00:09:25.480 I don't like it. I don't like anything you said, 00:09:25.620 --> 00:09:32.419 right? Someone might be thinking, a man definitely 00:09:32.419 --> 00:09:39.440 wrote that. But I'm gonna ask that as we go through 00:09:39.440 --> 00:09:42.440 this, we just hold our ideas about what this 00:09:42.440 --> 00:09:46.039 means with an open hand. As we look at the Bible 00:09:46.039 --> 00:09:48.759 and how it actually defines and contextualizes 00:09:48.759 --> 00:09:53.019 this passage. So here we go. I don't believe 00:09:53.019 --> 00:09:55.120 that we're here by chance. I don't think that. 00:09:55.200 --> 00:09:58.519 that I think that God's providence is always 00:09:58.519 --> 00:10:00.159 at work and there are reasons that we're here 00:10:00.159 --> 00:10:03.340 and his word can have an impact on us. So I treasure 00:10:03.340 --> 00:10:05.980 the time that we get to spend in his word, amen. 00:10:08.379 --> 00:10:12.559 Even if it's about wives. Let's go through the 00:10:12.559 --> 00:10:14.620 verse, okay. In the same way wives submit yourselves 00:10:14.620 --> 00:10:17.820 to your own husbands. so that even if some disobey 00:10:17.820 --> 00:10:20.100 the word, they may be won over without a word 00:10:20.100 --> 00:10:23.000 by the way their wives live when they observe 00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:25.840 your pure reverent lives. If you're taking notes, 00:10:25.940 --> 00:10:29.360 the first point I'll have you write down is tethered 00:10:29.360 --> 00:10:35.639 trust. Tethered trust. Both verse one and verse 00:10:35.639 --> 00:10:40.960 seven began with in the same way. in the same 00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:43.320 way, so talking about wives in the same way, 00:10:43.360 --> 00:10:44.960 wives submit yourselves, and then later on it 00:10:44.960 --> 00:10:49.360 says husbands in the same way. What's this same 00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:51.759 way we're talking about? This refers back to 00:10:51.759 --> 00:10:54.399 chapter two, where Peter instructed the believers 00:10:54.399 --> 00:10:57.019 to submit to human authorities, why? And he said 00:10:57.019 --> 00:10:59.240 in that scripture, we submit to human authorities 00:10:59.240 --> 00:11:02.559 because of the Lord. That's why we submit to 00:11:02.559 --> 00:11:05.299 human authorities. In other words, because you 00:11:05.299 --> 00:11:07.279 are that servant of God and you listen to him 00:11:07.279 --> 00:11:09.559 and you trust him and you love him, and remember 00:11:09.559 --> 00:11:12.320 this is talking to believing wives, those who 00:11:12.320 --> 00:11:15.440 have put their faith and hope in Jesus. Because 00:11:15.440 --> 00:11:17.120 they are servants of God and they listen to him 00:11:17.120 --> 00:11:19.659 and they trust him and they love him, then you 00:11:19.659 --> 00:11:22.500 will listen to his command and with that will 00:11:22.500 --> 00:11:25.179 submit to the human authorities, not because 00:11:25.179 --> 00:11:30.179 they merit it or they are respectable, but because 00:11:30.240 --> 00:11:33.759 of the Lord because of your allegiance to the 00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:37.799 Lord. And I think Peter anticipates that this 00:11:37.799 --> 00:11:41.740 would leave his readers and us today even with 00:11:41.740 --> 00:11:44.059 a big question mark, like really, like how do 00:11:44.059 --> 00:11:46.759 you actually do that? I don't get it. Because 00:11:46.759 --> 00:11:48.980 I know a whole lot of people who are unworthy 00:11:48.980 --> 00:11:52.879 of my respect and certainly unworthy of my submission, 00:11:53.120 --> 00:11:56.899 right? Some of you guys have lived that life. 00:11:57.120 --> 00:11:59.620 You have those experiences and those relationships. 00:12:00.139 --> 00:12:01.720 And I want to tell you, as we go through this, 00:12:01.740 --> 00:12:03.620 and as we talk through it, and I said this in 00:12:03.620 --> 00:12:05.360 the first service, like, we're not gonna be able 00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:07.139 to cover everything, and you'll probably have 00:12:07.139 --> 00:12:09.720 questions at the end, and we need to process 00:12:09.720 --> 00:12:11.779 this together, and so don't walk out with your 00:12:11.779 --> 00:12:13.620 questions, come see me, I'd love to talk to you 00:12:13.620 --> 00:12:16.019 about questions that might arise throughout the 00:12:16.019 --> 00:12:19.179 course of the word here, because we need to learn 00:12:19.179 --> 00:12:21.940 together and with one another in the context 00:12:21.940 --> 00:12:23.740 here, and there's just so much to cover that 00:12:23.740 --> 00:12:25.980 we're not gonna get to. every question you might 00:12:25.980 --> 00:12:31.460 have as we go through the scripture. What's the 00:12:31.460 --> 00:12:33.320 big question mark? How do we do this? How can 00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:36.080 we actually begin to live this way and not only 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:39.679 live this way, not just mechanically do our duty, 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:43.379 but how can we desire to live this way? Which 00:12:43.379 --> 00:12:45.679 is the deeper question that Jesus was constantly 00:12:45.679 --> 00:12:47.820 asking is you can do all the things on the surface 00:12:47.820 --> 00:12:50.000 and your heart can be rotten to the roots, right? 00:12:50.580 --> 00:12:53.620 But how do I get my new desires to change? And 00:12:53.620 --> 00:12:55.620 Peter actually addressed this at the end of chapter 00:12:55.620 --> 00:12:59.019 two, when he said to those who are to submit 00:12:59.019 --> 00:13:02.259 to human authorities, to those who are slaves, 00:13:02.419 --> 00:13:04.379 to masters, right there in the center before 00:13:04.379 --> 00:13:06.200 he gets to husbands and wives. So you got two, 00:13:06.419 --> 00:13:08.000 you got the center, and you got these other two, 00:13:08.200 --> 00:13:09.940 husbands and wives, right there in the center 00:13:09.940 --> 00:13:12.440 is the motivation, is how we can do it. And it 00:13:12.440 --> 00:13:14.440 starts with this, because you were called to 00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:18.750 this because Christ suffered also for you. leaving 00:13:18.750 --> 00:13:21.269 you an example that you would follow in his steps. 00:13:21.309 --> 00:13:24.090 He did not commit sin, and no deceit was found 00:13:24.090 --> 00:13:26.750 in his mouth. When he was insulted, he did not 00:13:26.750 --> 00:13:29.870 insult in return. When he suffered, he did not 00:13:29.870 --> 00:13:32.870 threaten, but entrusted himself to the one who 00:13:32.870 --> 00:13:36.490 judges justly. And he himself bore our sins in 00:13:36.490 --> 00:13:39.169 his body on the tree, so that having died to 00:13:39.169 --> 00:13:42.090 sins, we might live for righteousness. By his 00:13:42.090 --> 00:13:44.769 wounds you have been healed. for you were like 00:13:44.769 --> 00:13:47.190 sheep gone astray, but you have now returned 00:13:47.190 --> 00:13:51.330 to the shepherd and overseer of your soul." What 00:13:51.330 --> 00:13:55.370 Peter was saying is Christ is your example. How 00:13:55.370 --> 00:13:57.450 do I do this? How do I even begin to desire this? 00:13:57.470 --> 00:14:00.610 Well, I remember my own salvation. I remember 00:14:00.610 --> 00:14:03.710 the example of Christ, who being in very nature 00:14:03.710 --> 00:14:06.610 with God, did not consider equality with God 00:14:06.610 --> 00:14:09.950 something to be grasped or held to, but emptied 00:14:09.950 --> 00:14:14.240 himself, becoming nothing, taking on. our flesh 00:14:14.240 --> 00:14:19.360 coming down to this earth to live out his life, 00:14:19.620 --> 00:14:22.000 to suffer unjustly and to die for us. I remember 00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:26.600 that. And Christ's example begins to power me 00:14:26.600 --> 00:14:30.120 for whatever this life might bring. But it's 00:14:30.120 --> 00:14:32.159 not just it's not just his example sometimes 00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:34.700 we can we can think of the Gospels in Christ 00:14:34.700 --> 00:14:37.220 only as a really good example Well, there are 00:14:37.220 --> 00:14:38.899 other good examples in this world too, right 00:14:38.899 --> 00:14:40.860 Gandhi was pretty good example of some things 00:14:40.860 --> 00:14:43.419 and Buddha maybe had some good examples Christ 00:14:43.419 --> 00:14:46.919 isn't only our example as this passage lays out, 00:14:47.240 --> 00:14:49.419 it's not just his example, but it's also his 00:14:49.419 --> 00:14:53.500 work, what he did, what it means for us that 00:14:53.500 --> 00:14:55.919 if you are in Christ, you are a new creation, 00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:58.659 the old is gone, the new has come, a new birth 00:14:58.659 --> 00:15:02.259 has happened. And as Ezekiel talked about and 00:15:02.259 --> 00:15:05.259 promised to look forward to Christ and the Holy 00:15:05.259 --> 00:15:08.340 Spirit coming, a new heart with new desires, 00:15:08.940 --> 00:15:12.919 a desire to obey, a desire to please God. These 00:15:12.919 --> 00:15:16.139 are all ours in Christ and so this powers us. 00:15:16.139 --> 00:15:18.139 This is the question to how do I even do that 00:15:18.139 --> 00:15:21.960 or begin to desire it? Christ has removed our 00:15:21.960 --> 00:15:26.080 guilt and our sin and we can freely now walk 00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:29.580 even into suffering unjustly like he did knowing 00:15:29.580 --> 00:15:32.019 that we have a greater inheritance in the kingdom 00:15:32.019 --> 00:15:33.960 of God. We have a greater inheritance that is 00:15:33.960 --> 00:15:37.940 ours today as we walk through suffering because 00:15:37.940 --> 00:15:40.240 of what Christ has done for us. We're not the 00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:45.409 same. And so we can do this. We can obey the 00:15:45.409 --> 00:15:48.870 scriptures. We can walk with Christ. We can follow 00:15:48.870 --> 00:15:54.309 his example. And so chapter three begins in verse 00:15:54.309 --> 00:16:00.870 one with this call. A call to voluntary submission 00:16:00.870 --> 00:16:08.570 to wives, to their husbands. Voluntary submission. 00:16:08.629 --> 00:16:11.179 We'll get back to that word. That's where everyone's 00:16:11.179 --> 00:16:14.360 like all right. I can do that He said volunteer 00:16:14.360 --> 00:16:18.399 what we'll get to that at the very end Or will 00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:23.539 we know we'll run out of time and Wives are called 00:16:23.539 --> 00:16:25.139 to voluntary submission to their husband. Is 00:16:25.139 --> 00:16:27.559 this because their husbands are respectable men? 00:16:28.240 --> 00:16:31.080 Are they perfect? Are they honorable all the 00:16:31.080 --> 00:16:34.740 time? Don't raise your hands. It'll cause trouble 00:16:34.740 --> 00:16:39.039 cause problems like no It's not because of their 00:16:39.039 --> 00:16:41.299 respectability. It's not because of their perfection. 00:16:41.460 --> 00:16:43.759 It's not because of their honor. No, again, as 00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:46.700 we said, it says nothing about who they are, 00:16:46.759 --> 00:16:49.100 whether they're a good man or not. What it says 00:16:49.100 --> 00:16:52.000 is not all that different from the instruction 00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:54.700 we saw to those who are to submit to human authorities, 00:16:55.019 --> 00:16:58.179 and that is a believing wife is free to submit 00:16:58.179 --> 00:17:02.019 to her husband, her own husband. not because 00:17:02.019 --> 00:17:04.420 of his merit or respectability, but because of 00:17:04.420 --> 00:17:07.539 her trust in God, because she is tethered to 00:17:07.539 --> 00:17:12.640 his faithfulness above all. Tethered to Christ, 00:17:12.779 --> 00:17:17.819 I can submit now freely, even when it's difficult. 00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:21.839 Submission in marriage is not about inferiority, 00:17:22.259 --> 00:17:26.390 it's about order. It's not about dominance. It's 00:17:26.390 --> 00:17:29.289 about trust, a trust that is tethered to the 00:17:29.289 --> 00:17:32.369 faithfulness of God. Peter says, so that even 00:17:32.369 --> 00:17:35.450 if they disobey, even if the husbands are disobedient 00:17:35.450 --> 00:17:37.289 to the word, and this is kind of a loaded statement. 00:17:37.410 --> 00:17:40.009 It's got a lot of force to it that maybe doesn't 00:17:40.009 --> 00:17:42.210 come across in the English, but it's not just 00:17:42.210 --> 00:17:45.130 saying, oh, they're just an unbeliever. They're 00:17:45.130 --> 00:17:47.170 ignorant to the faith. This is saying that the 00:17:47.170 --> 00:17:49.269 faith has been presented to them, the gospel 00:17:49.269 --> 00:17:51.210 has been brought to them, and they reject the 00:17:51.210 --> 00:17:54.259 faith. They are disobedient to the Word. They 00:17:54.259 --> 00:17:58.779 are actively living out conduct contrary to the 00:17:58.779 --> 00:18:02.839 Word of God. They're in opposition to God. Even 00:18:02.839 --> 00:18:05.740 those husbands can be submitted to if you're 00:18:05.740 --> 00:18:08.880 tethered to the faithfulness of God. If you're 00:18:08.880 --> 00:18:11.799 trusting in God and you're looking to what He 00:18:11.799 --> 00:18:14.940 has done for you and you recognize your inheritance 00:18:14.940 --> 00:18:18.799 in Him that is yours even today, then you can 00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:22.740 obey. you can obey the commands of the scripture. 00:18:25.819 --> 00:18:31.039 Even if they're disobedient, and in fact, it's 00:18:31.039 --> 00:18:34.480 not just that, but it's that your obedience, 00:18:34.579 --> 00:18:37.039 your submission becomes a gospel presentation. 00:18:37.240 --> 00:18:39.460 We'll get to that in a little bit. Some have 00:18:39.460 --> 00:18:41.619 suggested, just a little side note, some have 00:18:41.619 --> 00:18:45.740 suggested that the word to submit here means 00:18:45.740 --> 00:18:49.359 only to be thoughtful and considerate. to act 00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:52.779 in love toward your husband. Those are not bad 00:18:52.779 --> 00:18:56.920 things. Do all those things. However, I think 00:18:56.920 --> 00:19:00.660 that that's too simplistic and it's not a legitimate 00:19:00.660 --> 00:19:03.299 meaning of the term submission in scriptures. 00:19:04.740 --> 00:19:08.559 In the scripture, it always implies a relationship 00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:12.569 of submission. within the context of some level 00:19:12.569 --> 00:19:14.609 of authority, whether it's Jesus to his parents, 00:19:14.950 --> 00:19:17.990 or demons to the disciples, or citizens to governmental 00:19:17.990 --> 00:19:21.349 officials, or unseen powers to Christ, or Christ 00:19:21.349 --> 00:19:23.990 to the father, or members of the church to elders, 00:19:24.269 --> 00:19:26.190 or the church being subject to Christ. Every 00:19:26.190 --> 00:19:28.690 one of those situations that brings up this word, 00:19:29.029 --> 00:19:32.730 this Greek word, is the context in which this 00:19:32.730 --> 00:19:36.690 word lives in Scripture. And so in Scripture, 00:19:36.710 --> 00:19:38.809 it's important to note that none of the relationships 00:19:38.809 --> 00:19:41.630 that I just laid out there are ever reversed. 00:19:42.509 --> 00:19:44.809 There's no scripture ever that commands the opposite. 00:19:45.289 --> 00:19:48.809 Parents are never commanded to submit to their 00:19:48.809 --> 00:19:54.470 children. They're not. And disciples are never 00:19:54.470 --> 00:19:57.670 commanded to submit to demons. In any one of 00:19:57.670 --> 00:19:59.569 those situations, any time that word has been 00:19:59.569 --> 00:20:02.549 used in the New Testament, it is from the position 00:20:02.549 --> 00:20:04.529 or the understanding of the sphere of submission 00:20:04.529 --> 00:20:06.950 within the context of authority. And so that's 00:20:06.950 --> 00:20:12.150 important to know. And I would love to get to 00:20:12.150 --> 00:20:14.130 the grounding of this, particularly in marriage. 00:20:14.509 --> 00:20:16.569 The grounding of this would take us all the way 00:20:16.569 --> 00:20:19.410 back to Genesis and understanding God's creative 00:20:19.410 --> 00:20:22.089 order. God's creative order before the fall. 00:20:23.390 --> 00:20:25.089 And sometimes that's a really important thing 00:20:25.089 --> 00:20:27.589 for us to look at and examine is what did God 00:20:27.589 --> 00:20:29.950 intend before sin entered the world? We can look 00:20:29.950 --> 00:20:32.430 back there and we can see that God created man 00:20:32.430 --> 00:20:36.490 and woman, two sexes, two genders, right? Man 00:20:36.490 --> 00:20:40.740 and woman. He created them. And it says that 00:20:40.740 --> 00:20:44.380 man was made and then out of man, woman was made 00:20:44.380 --> 00:20:48.880 as a helper or a helpmate or someone to come 00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:51.700 alongside and co -rule and co -regent the world 00:20:51.700 --> 00:20:54.000 with him, right? And that they were given a task 00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:56.400 to do. And then Jesus makes reference to this 00:20:56.400 --> 00:20:58.819 later, that that's the concept, that's the basis 00:20:58.819 --> 00:21:02.140 for marriage. Marriage is the concept, the basis 00:21:02.140 --> 00:21:05.240 of what God has done at the very beginning. man 00:21:05.240 --> 00:21:07.980 and woman, man leaving his father and mother 00:21:07.980 --> 00:21:10.539 and coming and being united with his wife and 00:21:10.539 --> 00:21:15.220 the two becoming one, this is the basis of marriage. 00:21:15.740 --> 00:21:19.220 And on this basis, we build out the whole doctrine 00:21:19.220 --> 00:21:23.160 or understanding of what marriage looks like 00:21:23.160 --> 00:21:26.339 and the fact that some folks want to flatten 00:21:26.339 --> 00:21:29.220 every distinction and say, there's no difference. 00:21:30.279 --> 00:21:33.299 Men and women are all the same in every respect. 00:21:34.960 --> 00:21:39.279 And I always say the Bible will not allow that 00:21:39.279 --> 00:21:44.480 level of simplicity. There are roles. There's 00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:47.640 equality in dignity. There's equality in spiritual 00:21:47.640 --> 00:21:50.839 life. There's equality in status before Jesus. 00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:52.519 We'll talk about that in a little bit. Co -heirs 00:21:52.519 --> 00:21:55.279 of grace. But we cannot flatten it to where there 00:21:55.279 --> 00:22:00.180 is no distinction whatsoever. And so this grounding 00:22:00.180 --> 00:22:02.740 is in Genesis, but we can't go much further in 00:22:02.740 --> 00:22:04.680 that. I'm just gonna assert that the word says, 00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:06.839 and I'll leave this to you if you wanna go deeper, 00:22:06.920 --> 00:22:08.579 if you wanna have questions afterwards to me, 00:22:08.859 --> 00:22:12.380 a believing wife can submit to her husband, whether 00:22:12.380 --> 00:22:16.259 he's faithful or faithless, not because she trusts 00:22:16.259 --> 00:22:20.539 him perfectly, but because she trusts God perfectly. 00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:24.480 And her submission is not a statement about her 00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:27.220 husband's worthiness. but about her allegiance 00:22:27.220 --> 00:22:30.519 to Christ. She follows the example of Jesus who 00:22:30.519 --> 00:22:34.380 submitted even under unjust suffering, not because 00:22:34.380 --> 00:22:36.960 the authorities were righteous who were punishing 00:22:36.960 --> 00:22:39.299 him, but because he entrusted himself to the 00:22:39.299 --> 00:22:43.299 one who judges justly. And that's why this point 00:22:43.299 --> 00:22:46.740 is called tethered trust, because submission 00:22:46.740 --> 00:22:49.640 in marriage, as Peter describes it, is possible 00:22:49.640 --> 00:22:53.019 only when it is anchored to God and not to the 00:22:53.019 --> 00:22:58.220 merit of a man. The power of this posture is 00:22:58.220 --> 00:23:01.779 that it doesn't just endure all grief and hardship 00:23:01.779 --> 00:23:06.359 in submission. The power of this posture is that 00:23:06.359 --> 00:23:12.660 it becomes a witness to Christ, a steady, quiet, 00:23:12.759 --> 00:23:16.000 faithful testimony to a husband, even an unbelieving 00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:18.819 one, that the gospel has changed the wife's heart, 00:23:19.119 --> 00:23:22.079 has reordered her hopes, so her hope is no longer 00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:24.839 in them, but her hope is in Jesus tethered to 00:23:24.839 --> 00:23:27.569 the truth. And that gospel has changed her and 00:23:27.569 --> 00:23:30.190 grounded her soul in something that is bigger 00:23:30.190 --> 00:23:33.970 than their marriage. And that has a gravitational 00:23:33.970 --> 00:23:38.210 pull on an unbelieving husband toward this truth, 00:23:38.470 --> 00:23:40.769 toward this reality. He can still reject it, 00:23:40.769 --> 00:23:43.289 but there's this gravity to it that pulls when 00:23:43.289 --> 00:23:45.950 a woman is steady and tethered to the truth, 00:23:46.150 --> 00:23:52.230 trusting in God. Two little points I'll make 00:23:52.230 --> 00:23:54.250 before I move on. These are just little sidebars. 00:23:55.259 --> 00:24:01.819 The first one is men, husbands. It says wives 00:24:01.819 --> 00:24:06.460 submit yourselves. It says wives submit yourselves. 00:24:06.759 --> 00:24:09.940 What it doesn't say is husbands demand your wives 00:24:09.940 --> 00:24:16.400 submit to you. And so if your wife is not in 00:24:16.400 --> 00:24:21.000 obedience to this scripture, it is not your job 00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:24.569 to bang her over the head with scripture. but 00:24:24.569 --> 00:24:28.609 to quietly pray and to begin to work with her, 00:24:28.650 --> 00:24:30.769 to see what's the underlying problems and issues, 00:24:30.789 --> 00:24:33.069 there might be some trust issues that you need 00:24:33.069 --> 00:24:35.549 to work on. But this is submit, it's very interesting 00:24:35.549 --> 00:24:38.029 that it's worded this way, submit yourselves 00:24:38.029 --> 00:24:43.750 to your own husband. And a very dangerous teaching 00:24:43.750 --> 00:24:46.029 that comes off of this is somehow that all women 00:24:46.029 --> 00:24:49.109 have to submit to all men. It didn't say that. 00:24:50.170 --> 00:24:56.140 That's garbage. What your wives submit to your 00:24:56.140 --> 00:24:59.759 own husbands? Submit yourselves to your own husbands. 00:24:59.779 --> 00:25:02.980 That's the first thing Submit yourselves husbands 00:25:02.980 --> 00:25:05.420 don't demand submission. It's a choice. It's 00:25:05.420 --> 00:25:08.380 her choice It's her choice of obedience to her 00:25:08.380 --> 00:25:11.119 God and Savior And whether she will tether to 00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:13.440 that trust and be able to do that is something 00:25:13.440 --> 00:25:17.240 for her to wrestle with Scripture the spirit 00:25:17.240 --> 00:25:19.519 within her conviction in order to move toward 00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:23.180 that It's a good thing, but it's not your place 00:25:23.579 --> 00:25:27.859 to demand it. And then submission also, like 00:25:27.859 --> 00:25:31.180 I said, it carries the same idea as human authorities. 00:25:31.480 --> 00:25:33.359 And that's important to note because the other 00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:35.819 thing that I'll sidebar is, is that your ultimate 00:25:35.819 --> 00:25:39.640 allegiance is to Christ, wives. And therefore 00:25:39.640 --> 00:25:41.759 it can never include, your submission to your 00:25:41.759 --> 00:25:43.940 husband can never include something that God 00:25:43.940 --> 00:25:50.039 has forbidden or for you to abstain from something 00:25:50.039 --> 00:25:53.130 that God has commanded. Your higher allegiance 00:25:53.130 --> 00:25:56.509 is to Christ and Christ alone. And you must obey 00:25:56.509 --> 00:25:59.069 him and him alone. And that may bring all kinds 00:25:59.069 --> 00:26:01.410 of grief. And you don't do it with arrogance. 00:26:01.569 --> 00:26:04.069 You don't do it with pride and going, I'm gonna 00:26:04.069 --> 00:26:08.450 follow God and not you. You do it with humility. 00:26:09.849 --> 00:26:12.349 You do it with trust that God is the ultimate 00:26:12.349 --> 00:26:17.539 judge. But you say, hey, you make appeals. You 00:26:17.539 --> 00:26:20.599 know, you make lots of appeals. Can we not do 00:26:20.599 --> 00:26:22.779 that? Can we not go that direction? Can you not 00:26:22.779 --> 00:26:25.339 have me lie on that or steal from there or do 00:26:25.339 --> 00:26:28.799 that? Can you not, whatever it is, but in the 00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:31.519 end it's I will not do it though. I cannot do 00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:34.900 it. I cannot betray my ultimate allegiance to 00:26:34.900 --> 00:26:41.559 Christ. Because then my witness is soiled. The 00:26:41.559 --> 00:26:45.440 gravity of my witness is gone. The witness has 00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:48.960 to stay intact by obedience to Christ and Christ 00:26:48.960 --> 00:26:56.960 alone in the face of anything else. And my little 00:26:56.960 --> 00:27:06.819 one, two, B is if your husband is abusing you, 00:27:07.420 --> 00:27:10.500 we are blessed to live in a country that have 00:27:10.500 --> 00:27:13.700 governing authorities and laws. that allow you 00:27:13.700 --> 00:27:16.859 to pick up the phone and call them on your husband 00:27:16.859 --> 00:27:20.460 and hold him accountable to other authorities 00:27:20.460 --> 00:27:25.240 that he's accountable to. Do it. And then you 00:27:25.240 --> 00:27:27.339 have other authorities in the church that you 00:27:27.339 --> 00:27:30.359 can come to who will hopefully here at Village. 00:27:30.750 --> 00:27:33.349 our leaders, our elders, who will come and walk 00:27:33.349 --> 00:27:36.309 alongside you to care for you and be with you 00:27:36.309 --> 00:27:39.089 through this process. And so you are not alone 00:27:39.089 --> 00:27:41.609 in that. We live in a country that has laws, 00:27:42.069 --> 00:27:44.869 and your husband has to abide by those laws as 00:27:44.869 --> 00:27:49.829 well. And so you can use those laws in grace, 00:27:49.890 --> 00:27:52.910 not in arrogance, not in pride, not in a vengeful 00:27:52.910 --> 00:27:57.710 attitude. But in submission to those laws, you 00:27:57.710 --> 00:28:02.519 can involve other authorities. I know that's 00:28:02.519 --> 00:28:04.259 important for some of you because some of you 00:28:04.259 --> 00:28:07.660 have experienced that. And I know that there's 00:28:07.660 --> 00:28:11.480 some wacko teaching out there that says, just 00:28:11.480 --> 00:28:15.640 take it. And I say, don't, don't just take it. 00:28:16.839 --> 00:28:18.880 Use the available graces that are there. There 00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:20.480 are lots of circumstances and situations, we 00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:21.940 didn't really get a chance to cover the slaves 00:28:21.940 --> 00:28:25.279 and masters passage in the last one, but those 00:28:25.279 --> 00:28:27.900 slaves in the first century, they had no legal 00:28:27.900 --> 00:28:30.410 recourse. So when Peter's talking to the slaves 00:28:30.410 --> 00:28:33.509 and he says, hey, submit to your masters, even 00:28:33.509 --> 00:28:37.569 if they're harsh, even if they may beat you, 00:28:38.210 --> 00:28:40.230 like you have no recourse, you can't run away, 00:28:40.289 --> 00:28:42.970 they'll bring you right back. You might get thrown 00:28:42.970 --> 00:28:45.210 in prison or punished for running away. You have 00:28:45.210 --> 00:28:47.289 no recourse and so you have to figure out how 00:28:47.289 --> 00:28:49.690 are you going to be a gospel light even in the 00:28:49.690 --> 00:28:52.089 dire situation you're in? And so Peter ministers 00:28:52.089 --> 00:28:54.609 them as a pastor in that situation because they 00:28:54.609 --> 00:28:56.630 had no other choice but you have a choice here 00:28:56.630 --> 00:29:02.130 in America. And so I would encourage you to do 00:29:02.130 --> 00:29:06.490 it, but do it humbly. And what a horrible situation 00:29:06.490 --> 00:29:13.109 to be in. To have to. I understand. And I don't 00:29:13.109 --> 00:29:17.950 want to push that too far. We want to understand, 00:29:18.910 --> 00:29:22.089 abuse or illegal activity, these are areas where 00:29:22.089 --> 00:29:24.849 there are other governing authorities that oversee 00:29:24.849 --> 00:29:28.609 that. And we can lean into that. I'm not talking 00:29:28.609 --> 00:29:32.349 about regular old marital interactions or fights. 00:29:35.309 --> 00:29:37.329 I'm talking specifically about those that would 00:29:37.329 --> 00:29:40.549 be covered by that. So praise God for His grace 00:29:40.549 --> 00:29:45.549 in that, amen. Number two, if you're taking notes, 00:29:45.809 --> 00:29:47.609 first one is tethered trust. The second one is 00:29:47.609 --> 00:29:50.640 fearless faith. Don't let your beauty consist 00:29:50.640 --> 00:29:53.380 of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and 00:29:53.380 --> 00:29:56.299 wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, but rather 00:29:56.299 --> 00:29:59.380 what is inside the heart, the imperishable quality 00:29:59.380 --> 00:30:02.519 of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great 00:30:02.519 --> 00:30:05.200 worth in God's sight. For in the past, the holy 00:30:05.200 --> 00:30:08.440 women who put their hope in God also adorn themselves 00:30:08.440 --> 00:30:11.160 in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:14.279 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. 00:30:14.700 --> 00:30:17.160 You have become her children when you do what 00:30:17.160 --> 00:30:20.099 is good and do good. do not fear any intimidation. 00:30:21.119 --> 00:30:23.400 After calling his wives to trust God through 00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:26.220 submission, Peter moves deeper, not just to what 00:30:26.220 --> 00:30:29.220 kind of behavior is called for, but why it's 00:30:29.220 --> 00:30:31.779 possible. And that's at the heart of Peter's 00:30:31.779 --> 00:30:35.420 vision is a woman whose faith in God frees her 00:30:35.420 --> 00:30:41.339 from fear. Peter here is not condemning external 00:30:41.339 --> 00:30:43.420 beauty. You don't need to take all your earrings 00:30:43.420 --> 00:30:45.740 off, you know, and pull, make your hair as straight 00:30:45.740 --> 00:30:49.019 as possible and put on a jean skirt or something 00:30:49.019 --> 00:30:50.779 like that. I'm thinking of a different denomination. 00:30:51.579 --> 00:30:53.579 Like you don't have to do any of those things. 00:30:54.079 --> 00:30:59.380 It's a -okay. But what Peter is trying to do 00:30:59.380 --> 00:31:04.200 is he's trying to reorder priorities. Outward 00:31:04.200 --> 00:31:08.269 adornments fade. Beauty fades. We haven't found 00:31:08.269 --> 00:31:11.289 the fountain of life yet, have we? And all those 00:31:11.289 --> 00:31:14.190 promised cosmetics online, ladies, let me tell 00:31:14.190 --> 00:31:16.650 you, I was going to say they're not working, 00:31:17.410 --> 00:31:20.690 but they're doing just fine. Keep using them. 00:31:21.809 --> 00:31:24.730 But maybe one day they'll come to work, right? 00:31:28.190 --> 00:31:30.170 That popped in my head in the first service. 00:31:30.529 --> 00:31:32.390 I thought about it afterwards, and I thought, 00:31:32.430 --> 00:31:35.359 maybe it's not too edgy. It was too edgy. I shouldn't 00:31:35.359 --> 00:31:38.200 have said that. Like, I said, that should have 00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:51.539 stayed in. Y 'all look great. He's not condemning, 00:31:51.539 --> 00:31:53.660 though, the external beauty. He's not condemning 00:31:53.660 --> 00:31:56.339 what's on the outside, as much as he's trying 00:31:56.339 --> 00:31:59.740 to reorder and say, hey, yeah. You may think 00:31:59.740 --> 00:32:03.119 that the way to get what you want, the way to 00:32:03.119 --> 00:32:09.140 get ahead in life is to doll yourself all up, 00:32:09.660 --> 00:32:13.279 be sexy and go out there and get what you want. 00:32:13.319 --> 00:32:15.740 And he said, no, let's reorder that. Let's talk 00:32:15.740 --> 00:32:18.599 about something that is of a deeper characteristic, 00:32:19.059 --> 00:32:22.059 an imperishable beauty. And I love that word, 00:32:22.299 --> 00:32:24.460 imperishable, because in the New Testament, it's 00:32:24.460 --> 00:32:27.680 only used of things that last into the future 00:32:27.680 --> 00:32:31.859 kingdom. imperishable things, things that last. 00:32:32.220 --> 00:32:35.920 A lot of things in our lives, when that last 00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:40.240 day comes, are gonna burn up. But there are a 00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:43.059 few imperishable things. And he says imperishable, 00:32:43.640 --> 00:32:46.980 this inner beauty that endures forever. Well, 00:32:46.980 --> 00:32:49.700 what defines this life? He says it's gentle and 00:32:49.700 --> 00:32:52.079 quiet spirit. And some people have reacted to 00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:53.700 that, gentle and quiet spirit. What you're saying 00:32:53.700 --> 00:33:00.099 is shut up and know your place. And that's not 00:33:00.099 --> 00:33:03.099 what it means at all. Again, we're not talking 00:33:03.099 --> 00:33:05.279 about the outside, we're talking inside. Yes, 00:33:05.460 --> 00:33:07.539 what comes out of our mouth comes from a source, 00:33:07.740 --> 00:33:10.240 and that's our heart. But we're not talking about 00:33:10.240 --> 00:33:12.299 working on the outside or conforming to some 00:33:12.299 --> 00:33:14.099 norm or social norm, we're talking about what 00:33:14.099 --> 00:33:16.319 happens on the inside. If it's gonna be imperishable, 00:33:16.539 --> 00:33:18.559 it's made of the kind of quality that goes on 00:33:18.559 --> 00:33:21.000 into eternity, not the things that are made of 00:33:21.000 --> 00:33:23.299 a social moment or cultural moment at the time. 00:33:24.319 --> 00:33:27.380 And what we're talking about here, is also words, 00:33:27.519 --> 00:33:30.940 gentle and quiet spirit, the very words that 00:33:30.940 --> 00:33:34.900 are used, Jesus uses of himself. So it's always 00:33:34.900 --> 00:33:37.759 interesting when people say, this kind of posture 00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:40.799 is very demeaning to women. Well, if it's demeaning 00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:44.619 to women, then it was demeaning to Jesus. Then 00:33:44.619 --> 00:33:47.720 it was lowering his value or his worth. And that 00:33:47.720 --> 00:33:51.099 wasn't the case at all, was it? But Jesus said 00:33:51.099 --> 00:33:57.329 of himself, I am gentle and lowly in heart. We 00:33:57.329 --> 00:34:00.450 know that the fruit of the Spirit is gentleness. 00:34:01.430 --> 00:34:04.630 Like it's for all believers, gentleness. We also 00:34:04.630 --> 00:34:07.670 know that in 1 Thessalonians, Paul calls all 00:34:07.670 --> 00:34:12.829 believers to live a quiet life. Live a quiet 00:34:12.829 --> 00:34:14.769 life. And in that context, it's about gospel, 00:34:14.869 --> 00:34:17.510 the gospel impact you can have. You want to live 00:34:17.510 --> 00:34:21.070 a loud life, makes a big hubbub and is constantly 00:34:21.070 --> 00:34:23.670 drawing attention to you and yourself? Or do 00:34:23.670 --> 00:34:25.550 you want to live a quiet life so the gospel can 00:34:25.550 --> 00:34:29.269 advance? in and through you. That's what he's 00:34:29.269 --> 00:34:33.550 getting at, is a gentle and quiet spirit that 00:34:33.550 --> 00:34:38.650 is rooted in faith, in fearless faith. It's not 00:34:38.650 --> 00:34:41.030 passivity, it's not weakness. These qualities 00:34:41.030 --> 00:34:44.210 reflect a woman who is not rattled by circumstances 00:34:44.210 --> 00:34:47.809 or driven by fear, but who is quietly and confidently 00:34:47.809 --> 00:34:53.969 anchored in God. Not demeaned in any way, but 00:34:53.969 --> 00:34:58.739 Christ -like. Christ -like, and man, who doesn't 00:34:58.739 --> 00:35:01.260 want to be Christ -like? That's the whole point. 00:35:02.139 --> 00:35:05.159 We're following Christ. And Peter pulls in this 00:35:05.159 --> 00:35:08.539 example, this real -world example of Sarah. And 00:35:08.539 --> 00:35:10.860 we don't have time to go back and look at the 00:35:10.860 --> 00:35:14.239 story itself in Genesis, but Sarah was the wife 00:35:14.239 --> 00:35:17.639 of Abraham, one of the patriarchs of the faith. 00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:21.199 In Genesis, you can read about it. And Sarah, 00:35:21.219 --> 00:35:23.800 man, Sarah followed Abraham. God calls Abraham 00:35:23.800 --> 00:35:26.579 to leave his father and mother, to leave everything 00:35:26.579 --> 00:35:28.980 that he has, and to go where he will show him. 00:35:29.699 --> 00:35:32.099 God's gonna show him where to go, and Abraham 00:35:32.099 --> 00:35:34.659 becomes this kind of exile and stranger. That's 00:35:34.659 --> 00:35:36.320 part of the reason Peter's drawing it in, is 00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:38.900 it fits perfectly with his theme, right? Abraham 00:35:38.900 --> 00:35:41.599 and Sarah and their whole family was like exiles 00:35:41.599 --> 00:35:44.340 and strangers heading out into this world. And 00:35:44.340 --> 00:35:47.159 Sarah said, all right, let's go. And she got 00:35:47.159 --> 00:35:50.320 on board and went along with it. And then there's 00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:52.860 a couple of crazy stories about Sarah and Abraham 00:35:52.860 --> 00:35:54.420 in the Bible. Again, we don't have a whole lot 00:35:54.420 --> 00:35:56.199 of time to get into, but they're just nuts though, 00:35:56.260 --> 00:35:59.900 okay? You got Sarah and Abraham who are traveling, 00:36:00.280 --> 00:36:02.199 they're exiles and strangers wandering around, 00:36:02.380 --> 00:36:05.860 and they end up in Egypt. And Sarah's beautiful, 00:36:05.860 --> 00:36:08.960 apparently. She's a beautiful woman. And Abraham's 00:36:08.960 --> 00:36:11.800 worried because she's a beautiful woman, and 00:36:11.800 --> 00:36:13.539 he knows that when he gets there, the Egyptians 00:36:13.539 --> 00:36:17.190 are gonna want her for a wife. And that means 00:36:17.190 --> 00:36:20.869 they're gonna kill him if he's the husband. And 00:36:20.869 --> 00:36:23.510 it just so happened that Sarah, as was very common 00:36:23.510 --> 00:36:25.710 in marrying within your tribe, Sarah happened 00:36:25.710 --> 00:36:29.190 to be a half -sister of Abraham. And so Abraham 00:36:29.190 --> 00:36:34.010 on this moment goes, hey, Sarah? You guys know 00:36:34.010 --> 00:36:36.230 what a half -sister is, right? I saw some weird 00:36:36.230 --> 00:36:40.090 looks. Like one parent in common, but not the 00:36:40.090 --> 00:36:44.550 other one. They're entering Egypt and he says, 00:36:44.750 --> 00:36:49.119 Sarah? I want you to say you're my sister. Then 00:36:49.119 --> 00:36:52.760 they won't kill me to get you. And so Sarah's 00:36:52.760 --> 00:36:56.500 like, yeah, Abraham's sister, that's my sister, 00:36:56.619 --> 00:37:00.280 right? And what does the Pharaoh in Egypt do? 00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:04.179 He's like, great, not your wife? Cool, she's 00:37:04.179 --> 00:37:08.179 mine now and takes her into his harem, his many 00:37:08.179 --> 00:37:10.710 wives or whatever. And while the text doesn't 00:37:10.710 --> 00:37:13.690 explicitly say most commentators, they articulate 00:37:13.690 --> 00:37:17.130 that before any sexual relation can happen and 00:37:17.130 --> 00:37:19.730 Sarah is defiled in some way, the Lord intervenes 00:37:19.730 --> 00:37:22.530 with plagues. And pretty soon the Pharaoh's like, 00:37:22.570 --> 00:37:26.309 what did you do? What evil have you brought into 00:37:26.309 --> 00:37:29.510 my house here? Take her, she's yours. And then 00:37:29.510 --> 00:37:32.289 he moves on, right? And you think, well, just 00:37:32.289 --> 00:37:36.090 imagine being the wife, right? Like, yo, what 00:37:36.090 --> 00:37:38.469 just happened? Like, can we not do that, Abraham? 00:37:39.079 --> 00:37:43.539 Like, anything else? Not that? And Abraham's 00:37:43.539 --> 00:37:46.579 like, just wait a few chapters. We'll do it again. 00:37:46.739 --> 00:37:49.599 Does the exact same thing again. The exact same 00:37:49.599 --> 00:37:52.760 thing again. Hey, say you're my sister, this 00:37:52.760 --> 00:37:54.519 king that we're coming up on, really brutal, 00:37:54.559 --> 00:37:57.280 they're gonna kill me, but let's play this trick 00:37:57.280 --> 00:38:00.000 again, right? And what most commentators are 00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:02.199 saying is, is Abraham is not trusting the call 00:38:02.199 --> 00:38:04.260 that God put out to him in the beginning, that 00:38:04.260 --> 00:38:05.960 said he would protect him and be with him and 00:38:05.960 --> 00:38:07.840 lead him to where he needed to go, and instead 00:38:07.840 --> 00:38:09.639 he's putting his faith in all of these little 00:38:09.639 --> 00:38:12.639 tricks. And God has grace for that, God covers 00:38:12.639 --> 00:38:14.579 it, and in the end Abraham gets where he's supposed 00:38:14.579 --> 00:38:20.049 to go, and Sarah's dragged along with him. the 00:38:20.049 --> 00:38:23.110 Egyptian harem and this guy's harem over here 00:38:23.110 --> 00:38:26.389 and pretty soon again though the Lord intervenes 00:38:26.389 --> 00:38:29.690 causes trouble and Abraham's like yeah I kind 00:38:29.690 --> 00:38:31.750 of told you a half truth she is my wife but she's 00:38:31.750 --> 00:38:34.769 also my half sister gets his wife back and they 00:38:34.769 --> 00:38:37.510 move on and Peter's like hey I want you to go 00:38:37.510 --> 00:38:39.389 reference back into Genesis and I want you to 00:38:39.389 --> 00:38:41.789 read those stories of Sarah and Abraham wives 00:38:41.789 --> 00:38:43.869 and I want you to understand there's a principle 00:38:43.869 --> 00:38:47.369 there for you and how you can live it's kind 00:38:47.369 --> 00:38:52.750 of brutal But her faith wasn't in her husband 00:38:52.750 --> 00:38:57.210 clearly, was it? It was in the God who was her 00:38:57.210 --> 00:39:01.630 protection. There was a point where it's one 00:39:01.630 --> 00:39:04.630 time where Sarah uses that word Lord and calls 00:39:04.630 --> 00:39:08.469 Abraham Lord. And Lord is not like, you know. 00:39:08.750 --> 00:39:11.650 King or master at that time it was it was more 00:39:11.650 --> 00:39:15.269 a word akin to mister or sir, right an official 00:39:15.269 --> 00:39:18.730 or a more formal term of acknowledgement and 00:39:18.730 --> 00:39:21.949 she just recognized that God had called him to 00:39:21.949 --> 00:39:25.789 lead and That he wasn't perfect, but she had 00:39:25.789 --> 00:39:28.809 tethered herself enough to trust in God not perfectly 00:39:28.809 --> 00:39:32.050 Sarah had plenty of issues to Tethered enough 00:39:32.050 --> 00:39:34.710 to trust in God to where she could go on that 00:39:34.710 --> 00:39:38.159 ride and Peter would commend her thousands of 00:39:38.159 --> 00:39:41.039 years later. And Peter's saying that kind of 00:39:41.039 --> 00:39:44.639 faith, that quiet, settled, obedient, fearless 00:39:44.639 --> 00:39:47.900 trust in God is your spiritual inheritance, wives, 00:39:48.340 --> 00:39:52.119 if you act like Sarah. If you have that same 00:39:52.119 --> 00:39:54.519 confident trust, if you put your hope in God, 00:39:54.539 --> 00:39:58.599 even when obeying or submitting, and I know I 00:39:58.599 --> 00:40:01.260 said the word there, obeying, but it said it 00:40:01.260 --> 00:40:04.719 there, right? Sarah obeyed Abraham. And so that's 00:40:04.719 --> 00:40:08.599 drawing us back to that word submission. Again, 00:40:08.639 --> 00:40:10.880 with all of the little caveats we carved out. 00:40:12.719 --> 00:40:14.920 That's what makes you a daughter of Sarah. I'm 00:40:14.920 --> 00:40:16.340 only talking to wise men. We're gonna talk to 00:40:16.340 --> 00:40:17.860 the husbands for just a little bit in a second. 00:40:19.960 --> 00:40:22.920 And then he says, don't fear intimidation. It's 00:40:22.920 --> 00:40:24.760 the only time that that word intimidation is 00:40:24.760 --> 00:40:27.500 used and that means panic or fright or deep anxiety. 00:40:27.920 --> 00:40:30.840 And that tells us that Peter knew exactly what 00:40:30.840 --> 00:40:32.599 the hearers, the readers were going to go through 00:40:32.599 --> 00:40:35.800 as they read this. But Peter doesn't tell them. 00:40:35.960 --> 00:40:40.059 to fight for control, does he? He calls them 00:40:40.059 --> 00:40:43.079 to faith in the God who sees, the God who saves, 00:40:43.159 --> 00:40:45.659 and the God who will ultimately vindicate. And 00:40:45.659 --> 00:40:49.199 that's what fearless faith is. Not because there's 00:40:49.199 --> 00:40:51.579 nothing scary, but because your heart is anchored 00:40:51.579 --> 00:40:56.539 to someone who is greater than your fears. And 00:40:56.539 --> 00:40:59.199 so wives, ladies, you don't have to manipulate 00:40:59.199 --> 00:41:02.559 or control or dominate to be safe. You have a 00:41:02.559 --> 00:41:05.159 God who will defend you. You have a God who hears 00:41:05.159 --> 00:41:08.360 you and a God who honors you and calls that quiet, 00:41:08.639 --> 00:41:11.139 gentle spirit something that is precious, valuable 00:41:11.139 --> 00:41:16.159 and beautiful in his sight. Fearless faith is 00:41:16.159 --> 00:41:18.860 not about trusting your situation. It's about 00:41:18.860 --> 00:41:22.860 trusting in your savior. And when you rest in 00:41:22.860 --> 00:41:24.559 him, your life becomes a picture of the gospel, 00:41:24.980 --> 00:41:29.280 a witness to a watching world. Point number three, 00:41:29.719 --> 00:41:32.159 men, we're gonna talk to you for just a minute. 00:41:34.300 --> 00:41:42.079 Husbands, amen. Number three, an honoring headship. 00:41:43.480 --> 00:41:45.900 Honoring headship, husbands in the same way, 00:41:46.000 --> 00:41:48.199 live with your wives in an understanding way 00:41:48.199 --> 00:41:51.019 as with a weaker partner, showing them honor 00:41:51.019 --> 00:41:53.820 as coheirs of the grace of life so that your 00:41:53.820 --> 00:41:58.320 prayers will not be hindered. As someone said, 00:41:58.579 --> 00:41:59.900 yeah, you moved on to the husband thing, but 00:41:59.900 --> 00:42:01.239 I still feel like they're talking to the wives 00:42:01.239 --> 00:42:05.099 there, about the wives at least there. Coheirs, 00:42:05.400 --> 00:42:06.800 weaker partner, what are we talking about here? 00:42:08.460 --> 00:42:12.300 Peter now turns his attention to believing husbands. 00:42:12.650 --> 00:42:15.190 If you put your hope and faith in Christ and 00:42:15.190 --> 00:42:18.829 you are a husband to a wife today, this is for 00:42:18.829 --> 00:42:21.849 you. Believing husband, he gives this single 00:42:21.849 --> 00:42:25.190 verse, but it is weighty and it's counter -cultural. 00:42:26.210 --> 00:42:28.590 This verse defines what biblical headship looks 00:42:28.590 --> 00:42:30.809 like in this context. What he's talking about 00:42:30.809 --> 00:42:35.559 is it's not about power. Biblical headship is 00:42:35.559 --> 00:42:38.659 not about power, it's not about control, and 00:42:38.659 --> 00:42:41.500 it's not about entitlement. It's about servant 00:42:41.500 --> 00:42:46.719 leadership that honors your wife. That's what 00:42:46.719 --> 00:42:50.780 biblical headship is, men. Live with your wives 00:42:50.780 --> 00:42:55.360 in an understanding way. That phrase there in 00:42:55.360 --> 00:42:58.059 the Greek literally means according to knowledge. 00:42:59.170 --> 00:43:01.590 According to knowledge and the basic we won't 00:43:01.590 --> 00:43:03.469 over complicate in the beginning here. The basics 00:43:03.469 --> 00:43:10.409 of it is know your wife Know your wife Your leadership 00:43:10.409 --> 00:43:12.750 in your marriage should be based on intimate 00:43:12.750 --> 00:43:15.369 knowledge of your wife knowledge of God's purpose 00:43:15.369 --> 00:43:18.210 for her his giftings that he has given to her 00:43:18.210 --> 00:43:21.230 his desire for her and her desires and goals 00:43:21.230 --> 00:43:24.889 and frustrations Her strengths and her weaknesses 00:43:24.889 --> 00:43:27.550 in the physical emotional and spiritual realms 00:43:27.550 --> 00:43:31.159 of life knowledge of her walk with Jesus. What 00:43:31.159 --> 00:43:33.800 is she praying for? This is a huge question. 00:43:33.860 --> 00:43:36.079 Do you know what your wife is praying for right 00:43:36.079 --> 00:43:39.940 now? Do you know what she's praying for? Do you 00:43:39.940 --> 00:43:42.820 know what she's wrestling with? What is the spirit 00:43:42.820 --> 00:43:45.980 convicting her of right now? And where is Jesus 00:43:45.980 --> 00:43:49.619 leading her? What is he leading her through right 00:43:49.619 --> 00:43:54.860 now? Do you know your wife's husbands? A husband 00:43:54.860 --> 00:43:59.000 must know his wife. He must not neglect knowing 00:43:59.000 --> 00:44:01.920 her. He must know her physically, emotionally, 00:44:02.340 --> 00:44:05.079 and spiritually better than anyone else in this 00:44:05.079 --> 00:44:08.780 world because he is called to lead her. And that 00:44:08.780 --> 00:44:13.340 knowledge equips him for the next part. He is 00:44:13.340 --> 00:44:16.820 called to lead her. A husband is not to be passive 00:44:16.820 --> 00:44:20.599 or clueless, but deliberately considerate, knowing 00:44:20.599 --> 00:44:25.500 what builds her up and what honors her. Biblical 00:44:25.500 --> 00:44:29.039 headship begins with spiritual and emotional 00:44:29.039 --> 00:44:33.880 attentiveness. You cannot lead someone, you do 00:44:33.880 --> 00:44:39.300 not know. And so it says, to live with your wives 00:44:39.300 --> 00:44:42.679 with knowledge or with understanding, know your 00:44:42.679 --> 00:44:47.280 wife, not my wife, not someone else's wife, know 00:44:47.280 --> 00:44:50.440 your wife, and your wife's very different. Know 00:44:50.440 --> 00:44:54.809 your wife, and then it says, To live with her 00:44:54.809 --> 00:44:57.329 and understanding as the weaker partner now this 00:44:57.329 --> 00:45:00.710 one can be a trigger for some people But I think 00:45:00.710 --> 00:45:05.250 it's actually much simpler than we think Peter 00:45:05.250 --> 00:45:10.570 implicitly acknowledges that as a husband By 00:45:10.570 --> 00:45:13.530 virtue of your position of headship and leadership 00:45:13.530 --> 00:45:17.650 within the family unit By virtue of that you 00:45:17.650 --> 00:45:22.630 could abuse it You could abuse your headship 00:45:23.599 --> 00:45:27.400 And Peter knows that. And so in, within the context 00:45:27.400 --> 00:45:31.119 of the relationship, there is the man who is 00:45:31.119 --> 00:45:34.000 called to lead and through servant's leadership, 00:45:34.059 --> 00:45:37.139 not control and domination, but he could use 00:45:37.139 --> 00:45:41.420 that twisted and distorted to dominate, to control, 00:45:42.719 --> 00:45:47.550 to come down hard. And so Peter acknowledges 00:45:47.550 --> 00:45:49.750 that a husband by virtue of his position and 00:45:49.750 --> 00:45:52.670 also by virtue of his strengths, physical, spiritual, 00:45:52.989 --> 00:45:55.530 emotional, social, that he has the potential 00:45:55.530 --> 00:45:59.190 to dominate and misuse those strengths. Now it's 00:45:59.190 --> 00:46:00.909 not gonna be the same for everyone. This isn't 00:46:00.909 --> 00:46:03.110 some generalized rule like women are weaker than 00:46:03.110 --> 00:46:06.909 men. My wife could beat me up. No really, my 00:46:06.909 --> 00:46:10.969 wife is stronger, she's scrappier. Like she could 00:46:10.969 --> 00:46:13.619 get in and under and you know. little gut punch 00:46:13.619 --> 00:46:15.340 and I'd be on the ground, it'd be over, like 00:46:15.340 --> 00:46:18.940 it would be done. I've only had to call the cops 00:46:18.940 --> 00:46:25.280 a couple times. Just kidding. No, but there are 00:46:25.280 --> 00:46:29.579 particular strengths that you do have though. 00:46:30.179 --> 00:46:33.000 Maybe yours isn't physical strength, even though 00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:35.440 men generally have greater physical strength, 00:46:36.519 --> 00:46:39.980 but maybe it's emotional strength. You use forceful 00:46:39.980 --> 00:46:42.199 words or tones or manipulation. When you're not 00:46:42.199 --> 00:46:43.599 getting your way and you feel like things are 00:46:43.599 --> 00:46:45.800 slipping out of your control, you puff up your 00:46:45.800 --> 00:46:48.059 chest and you get a little louder and deeper 00:46:48.059 --> 00:46:51.219 as a way to intimidate, to sound like a lion. 00:46:52.260 --> 00:46:57.780 Maybe you use that and you try to make her subordinates 00:46:57.780 --> 00:47:03.559 to your emotional force. Maybe it's spiritually. 00:47:04.500 --> 00:47:08.239 Speaking as if your walk with God gives you some 00:47:08.239 --> 00:47:11.199 supremacy over her voice or her experience or 00:47:11.199 --> 00:47:15.739 her counsel. I've seen that as well. That's not 00:47:15.739 --> 00:47:20.239 at all appropriate for a man of God. You live 00:47:20.239 --> 00:47:23.099 with understanding, you know your wife, and you 00:47:23.099 --> 00:47:25.260 understand that in the position that she's in, 00:47:25.500 --> 00:47:29.239 in the modern term, power dynamics, you could 00:47:29.239 --> 00:47:32.599 misuse your power and dominate and abuse her 00:47:32.599 --> 00:47:35.659 or control her. You need to understand that and 00:47:35.659 --> 00:47:37.800 you need to know where those potential weaknesses 00:47:37.800 --> 00:47:41.900 are in the relationship. Your particular weaknesses. 00:47:44.380 --> 00:47:47.760 Says, as a weaker partner, instead of doing that 00:47:47.760 --> 00:47:52.119 stuff, instead of dominating or the world's understanding 00:47:52.119 --> 00:47:54.619 of leadership and power, which is domination, 00:47:55.679 --> 00:48:00.300 cruelty, control, instead of that, he says, no, 00:48:00.619 --> 00:48:06.440 showing them honor. Have you ever had, I remember 00:48:06.440 --> 00:48:10.860 growing up, my grandma's both had hutches that 00:48:10.860 --> 00:48:14.420 had china in it, fine china. And you know, most 00:48:14.420 --> 00:48:16.280 of the time we'd eat off of a paper plate, but 00:48:16.280 --> 00:48:18.320 sometimes the fine china would come out, right? 00:48:18.840 --> 00:48:20.900 But the fine china was like valuable, it was 00:48:20.900 --> 00:48:23.380 precious and oftentimes it wasn't the most sturdy 00:48:23.380 --> 00:48:26.280 stuff, right? You drop it on the table or you 00:48:26.280 --> 00:48:28.159 drop it off the table and it's gonna shatter 00:48:28.159 --> 00:48:31.090 everywhere. And so it was held in this cabinet, 00:48:31.170 --> 00:48:33.110 this special place. I remember having to move 00:48:33.110 --> 00:48:35.190 those hutches out after my grandparents died 00:48:35.190 --> 00:48:37.550 in both times. I mean, those things are huge. 00:48:38.130 --> 00:48:41.130 And they're like dedicated to plates. And they're 00:48:41.130 --> 00:48:43.369 always in the way right there, right? It's like, 00:48:44.050 --> 00:48:46.449 we don't do that anymore. Maybe some people do, 00:48:46.449 --> 00:48:50.150 but I don't have a hutch with, you know, my fine 00:48:50.150 --> 00:48:58.869 paper plates in there. No, but yes, that plate. 00:48:59.039 --> 00:49:02.480 is fragile, that prey is breakable, but it's 00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:05.340 of infinite value, right? You bought a hutch 00:49:05.340 --> 00:49:07.639 and you put it in there and you let it sit there 00:49:07.639 --> 00:49:13.000 for 50 years in the way, right? It must have 00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:17.940 had value, it must have had worth. Yes, live 00:49:17.940 --> 00:49:21.960 with understanding, know your wife. Understand 00:49:21.960 --> 00:49:24.480 the position that she's in and your ability to 00:49:24.480 --> 00:49:26.880 dominate if you choose and misuse your power, 00:49:27.099 --> 00:49:31.019 but don't do that instead. Show her honor. Treat 00:49:31.019 --> 00:49:33.639 her like something of great value and worth, 00:49:34.079 --> 00:49:36.659 something that is priceless. And this is the 00:49:36.659 --> 00:49:39.260 center of the verse. This is the call right here. 00:49:39.780 --> 00:49:42.760 Live according to knowledge, yes. Study your 00:49:42.760 --> 00:49:45.579 wife, be intentional, be empathetic, but then 00:49:45.579 --> 00:49:49.219 show honor. The remedy of dominance is deliberate 00:49:49.219 --> 00:49:53.820 elevation of your wife. Treating her as precious 00:49:53.820 --> 00:50:00.039 and esteemed and worthy of care. Honor is the 00:50:00.039 --> 00:50:05.489 proper tone of headship. And that's elevating 00:50:05.489 --> 00:50:08.429 her in word and action, listening with respect, 00:50:08.949 --> 00:50:12.110 speaking with gentleness, valuing insights and 00:50:12.110 --> 00:50:15.590 counsel. It means as a man, as a leader, you 00:50:15.590 --> 00:50:19.550 don't ever ram something through, because I can. 00:50:20.849 --> 00:50:23.489 But you value and you elevate your wife and her 00:50:23.489 --> 00:50:26.869 perspective. And oftentimes, a lot of times, 00:50:27.090 --> 00:50:30.389 right? You go with her way and not your own. 00:50:31.320 --> 00:50:37.860 A lot of times, it's better. More than 50%. Can't 00:50:37.860 --> 00:50:44.500 stress it enough. You provide and you protect 00:50:44.500 --> 00:50:48.980 and you're joyful. A husband's strength is not 00:50:48.980 --> 00:50:53.840 in licensed dominance, but in understanding. 00:50:54.739 --> 00:50:57.800 Where he could overpower, he instead chooses 00:50:57.800 --> 00:51:01.619 honor. Where he could assert, he instead chooses 00:51:01.619 --> 00:51:06.059 to affirm. And where he could control, he chooses 00:51:06.059 --> 00:51:10.420 care. And the last and final point as we go out 00:51:10.420 --> 00:51:12.699 is co -heir calling, if you're taking notes. 00:51:14.159 --> 00:51:16.559 You show them honor, why? Because they're co 00:51:16.559 --> 00:51:20.559 -heirs in the grace of life. See, now we're at 00:51:20.559 --> 00:51:22.119 the point where it's like, she's not your project, 00:51:22.579 --> 00:51:26.119 boy. She ain't your project to make whoever you 00:51:26.119 --> 00:51:29.840 want, no. She is your equal partner in grace. 00:51:30.869 --> 00:51:32.989 There's another scripture that sometimes is taken 00:51:32.989 --> 00:51:34.530 out of context. I don't like when it's taken 00:51:34.530 --> 00:51:37.869 out of context, but it does say in Galatians 00:51:37.869 --> 00:51:42.110 chapter three, that in Christ, there is no male 00:51:42.110 --> 00:51:48.909 or female, Greek or Jew, slave or free, but we 00:51:48.909 --> 00:51:52.130 are all in Christ together. As it relates to 00:51:52.130 --> 00:51:55.329 our co -heirship, the grace of Christ, there 00:51:55.329 --> 00:52:00.389 is equality. It is a co -heir of Christ right 00:52:00.389 --> 00:52:04.789 there. And your wife doesn't go through you to 00:52:04.789 --> 00:52:07.110 get to God. That's another really wacky thing 00:52:07.110 --> 00:52:11.989 that, oh, the husband's the priest. No, we get 00:52:11.989 --> 00:52:15.650 away with the priesthood. Like we are the priesthood, 00:52:16.110 --> 00:52:19.650 the people of God. And I get some people use 00:52:19.650 --> 00:52:21.789 it in a different understanding or way. Yes, 00:52:21.829 --> 00:52:25.230 we introduce ideas, we introduce spiritual nurturing 00:52:25.230 --> 00:52:28.969 and food into our families as leaders, as servant 00:52:28.969 --> 00:52:32.010 leaders. But let me tell you, your wife's praying 00:52:32.010 --> 00:52:34.409 a whole lot when you're not there too. She got 00:52:34.409 --> 00:52:36.550 direct access to God and God is listening to 00:52:36.550 --> 00:52:39.349 her prayers. And even more so, if you are abusing 00:52:39.349 --> 00:52:42.070 your leadership, I promise you, he's got a heart, 00:52:42.110 --> 00:52:44.610 he's got something for the oppressed and those 00:52:44.610 --> 00:52:46.210 who are marginalized and those who are under 00:52:46.210 --> 00:52:49.840 the thumb. like he is a hearing aid turns up 00:52:49.840 --> 00:52:56.800 to 10. Co -heirs with Christ. She stands beside 00:52:56.800 --> 00:52:58.860 you at the foot of the cross. She is saved by 00:52:58.860 --> 00:53:02.239 the same savior, filled with the same spirit, 00:53:02.440 --> 00:53:08.000 destined for the same eternal glory. And all 00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:11.800 of this wraps up, man, with this final little 00:53:11.800 --> 00:53:16.329 statement. Do all of that in your headship and 00:53:16.329 --> 00:53:19.230 leadership so that your prayers will not be hindered. 00:53:21.030 --> 00:53:23.590 Now this is serious. God is saying, if you fail 00:53:23.590 --> 00:53:26.769 to honor your wife, I will not honor your prayers. 00:53:29.230 --> 00:53:32.210 Spiritual leadership that neglects the wife is 00:53:32.210 --> 00:53:35.690 cut off from God's hearing. Heaven closes its 00:53:35.690 --> 00:53:38.289 ears to the man who closes his heart to his wife. 00:53:40.349 --> 00:53:43.170 Biblical headship is not about demanding submission. 00:53:43.489 --> 00:53:46.429 It's about deepening trust through your Christ 00:53:46.429 --> 00:53:51.349 -like sacrifice. You're not called to dominate 00:53:51.349 --> 00:53:55.090 her. You're called to die for her, to lay your 00:53:55.090 --> 00:53:58.030 life down. That's what Ephesians chapter 5 says. 00:53:58.710 --> 00:54:01.230 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved his. 00:54:01.289 --> 00:54:03.289 This is right after Paul just said to wives, 00:54:03.510 --> 00:54:05.349 submit to husbands. It's the same thing. Submit 00:54:05.349 --> 00:54:06.909 to your husbands, and you go, OK, that's a tough 00:54:06.909 --> 00:54:08.949 teaching. You know what's also tough, maybe even 00:54:08.949 --> 00:54:13.349 a little bit more, is die to yourself. How much 00:54:13.349 --> 00:54:16.969 of you is left after you've died? None of it. 00:54:17.630 --> 00:54:22.050 Lay it all aside. Lay down your life. Die to 00:54:22.050 --> 00:54:25.590 yourselves as Christ died for the church, gave 00:54:25.590 --> 00:54:29.280 himself up for her. so that he could wash her 00:54:29.280 --> 00:54:31.900 with the water of the word and present her to 00:54:31.900 --> 00:54:35.380 himself as holy and blameless. This is a call 00:54:35.380 --> 00:54:40.619 to husbands, a call to biblical headship. A godly 00:54:40.619 --> 00:54:42.579 husband doesn't use his strength to get his way. 00:54:43.179 --> 00:54:48.079 He uses it to give her honor. And so, we invite 00:54:48.079 --> 00:54:50.840 the worship team to come up, and I'll conclude 00:54:50.840 --> 00:54:53.239 by saying, church, you can hear what Peter is 00:54:53.239 --> 00:54:57.000 saying. Marriage isn't just some private arrangement. 00:54:58.219 --> 00:55:04.599 It is a public testimony. It is a spectacle for 00:55:04.599 --> 00:55:07.500 the glory of God that people might be drawn to 00:55:07.500 --> 00:55:10.199 it. It has a gravity to it, especially when it 00:55:10.199 --> 00:55:12.780 is done according to the blueprint we've been 00:55:12.780 --> 00:55:16.659 given in scripture. When wives... can willingly 00:55:16.659 --> 00:55:19.500 submit because they are tethered in trust to 00:55:19.500 --> 00:55:22.239 the Lord. And when men can exchange the kind 00:55:22.239 --> 00:55:25.300 of worldly leadership and dominance for a servant 00:55:25.300 --> 00:55:28.139 -like leadership that Christ modeled and shower 00:55:28.139 --> 00:55:30.579 their wives and elevate their wives and live 00:55:30.579 --> 00:55:34.260 to wash their wives in the word, that marriage 00:55:34.260 --> 00:55:40.980 has gravity. It pulls. It does something as people 00:55:40.980 --> 00:55:44.960 watch and see. But the only way we can live this 00:55:44.960 --> 00:55:47.300 out is not through willpower. It's not go home 00:55:47.300 --> 00:55:49.860 and try harder. And remember, it's about looking 00:55:49.860 --> 00:55:52.760 back to Christ and seeing Christ and understanding 00:55:52.760 --> 00:55:55.420 the one to whom we are anchored, that Jesus is 00:55:55.420 --> 00:55:57.980 our model. He submitted to the Father's will. 00:55:58.179 --> 00:56:01.179 He suffered unjustly. He laid down his life in 00:56:01.179 --> 00:56:05.300 order to redeem his bride, the church. That Jesus 00:56:05.300 --> 00:56:08.519 is our power, that the Spirit itself is the power 00:56:08.519 --> 00:56:10.619 source. He gives us new hearts so that we can 00:56:10.619 --> 00:56:13.059 trust and we can honor and obey in a way that 00:56:13.059 --> 00:56:15.940 the world can never explain. And Jesus is our 00:56:15.940 --> 00:56:20.519 reward. Wives, Jesus is your reward. Husbands, 00:56:20.579 --> 00:56:26.539 Jesus is your reward. And he sees every quiet 00:56:26.539 --> 00:56:31.059 act of faithfulness and every sacrifice and every 00:56:31.059 --> 00:56:33.760 moment you choose obedience over self -preservation. 00:56:35.340 --> 00:56:38.960 And this passage calls us to a Christ -shaped 00:56:38.960 --> 00:56:43.099 life, a life of submission to God and fearless 00:56:43.099 --> 00:56:46.059 faith, a life of honoring others and reflecting 00:56:46.059 --> 00:56:47.500 the grace that we've been given.