Before I get into the scripture though, I wanna
say I believe that we are called to be a people
who are shaped by the Bible. I said this at the
beginning. I think disciples of Jesus are supposed
to be Bible people. We're supposed to be Bible
people because we believe that the Bible, the
word of God, is God's revelation of who he is
and what he desires and intends for us. The word,
the Bible tells us of the story of God's love
for his creation and the links to which he would
go to redeem and restore and save this broken
world and these broken people of which I'm a
part of. And the word tells us about this. We
know our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Yes,
in a personal way, but we know of him and his
work and the work of the gospel because of the
word. The word. is like a blueprint for flourishing.
It's like a blueprint for acceptable worship
of our God, a blueprint for relationship with
God, our Father, and Creator, but it's so much
more than a blueprint. A blueprint's kind of
a lifeless document that stands in front of it.
If you don't do anything with it, it doesn't
do anything, right? But the Bible, as we read
it and as we meditate on it and study it, it
does something in us, amen? It does something
innocent, it can expose our hidden desires and
our intentions. We might read something and recall,
anyone ever read something in the Bible and go,
I don't like that. I just don't know, I don't
like that. What's up with that? We can get offended
with the Bible and some of you even after last
week. Yeah, afterward you came up to me and you
were chewing on last week's sermon out of First
Peter chapter two and you're like, yeah, I still
gotta, I gotta gnaw on this one for a little
while. I don't like it. I don't like it. The
weight of the second half of First Peter is really
centered around how we as his people can have
a gospel impact on this world. How we can live
in such a way that people will see our life and
our conduct drawing some to follow and honor
King Jesus. Peter is addressing these different
social relationships in this second half and
he began with believers in our relationship with
governing officials, governing authorities. And
it was something like this, as servants of God,
we have our ultimate allegiance owed to God and
God alone. We owe our ultimate allegiance to
God and God alone, but also as servants of God.
We willingly and joyfully obey God when He sends
us out as strangers and exiles in this world
to submit to the authorities of this world. Why?
In order that we do not offend them and turn
their focus onto our rebellion against them,
but instead allow us to live at peace in this
world, in our communities, so that we can focus
our attention and effort on having a gospel impact.
on the people around us. We submit because God
has established authority for the good of society,
but our ultimate allegiance is to God and our
submission is because God has commanded us as
exiles and strangers to submit to those in authority
here. Why? So we can accomplish the mission,
the great commission. But some of it can be really
hard to hear. Sometimes the word is very difficult.
to ingest and take in. There was a conversation
I had with someone, probably someone in this
room last week. But it went something like this
right after sermon. It said, I didn't like anything
you said. You preach your heart out first service
and second service and then someone comes up
and you go, I didn't like anything you said.
Like nothing at all, but I know it's true. That's
what they followed up with. I didn't like anything
you said, but I knew it was true. And I love
that. I love when the Word interacts with us.
Like, what did the Word just do in that situation?
Like, we all thought we were reading the Word,
but the Word was actually reading us. The Word
was reading us. It was exposing us. It was shining
light on our thoughts and our desires and our
motives, exposing differences between what it
says is truth and the perspective of my hearts
or your hearts. Hebrews chapter four says, the
word of God is living and effective and it's
sharper than a double edged sword, penetrating
as far as the separation of soul and spirit,
joints and marrow. It is able to judge the thoughts
and intentions of the heart. The Center for Bible
Engagement conducted a study in 2010. It was
aimed at understanding how often people read
or listen to the Bible. And then trying to correlate
that with behavior, emotional health, and spiritual
growth. So they did this study, they surveyed
over 100 ,000 people, ages I think eight, all
the way up to 80. 100 ,000 people, a really large
survey sample, both Christians and non -Christians,
general public. And a basic summary of this survey
found this, that reading the Bible one time a
week, Some of y 'all, when I just read the word,
that was the first time you read the word this
week. Reading the Bible one time a week has zero
effect on your life, according to what they were
judging. And I'll get to what those categories
are in a second. But one time a week, zero effect.
They found, okay, one time a week, two times
a week, zero effect. Three times a week, very
marginal effect and then after three times you
hit four and four was the tipping point and at
four or four plus days a week of reading or studying
or listening to the word You saw this flood of
effect in people's lives I'll read some of that
What they found people who read their Bible four
plus days a week were 57 % less likely to get
drunk We're 67 % less likely to have sex outside
of the marriage covenant. We're 61 % less likely
to look at pornography and we're 74 % less likely
to gamble what they called risky behavior. Behaviors
that you might mark. Now I'm not trying to go
through each one of those and teach on the sinfulness
or not sinfulness of those or whatever. We'll
have time for that as we go through the word.
But what they labeled as risky behavior saw a
dramatic drop when people read the Word of God
four times a week or more. But not only that,
reading the Bible most days of the week linked
to lower odds of feeling bitter, discouraged,
lonely, having difficulty forgiving, destructive
thinking, anger. All of those were reduced in
the range of 30 to 40 % against those who didn't
read four days or more. And again, that's not
all either. This is where the statutes go through
the roof. For those who read the Bible four days
or more, they were 228 % more likely to share
their faith, 231 % more likely to disciple other
people, and 407 % more likely to memorize the
scripture. You get the point. The point is that
the scripture, we go to the scripture, we read
the scripture, but the scripture has an effect
on us. The scripture changes us. Something happens
in us as we go to the scripture and we wanna
be people about the word. And so today's word
is 1st Peter chapter three in verse one. In the
same way, wives submit yourselves to your own
husbands so that even if some disobey the word,
they may be won over without a word by the way
their wives live. when they observe your pure,
reverent lives. Don't let your beauty consist
of outward things like elaborate hairstyles or
wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, but rather
what is inside the heart, the imperishable quality
of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great
worth in God's sight. For in the past the holy
women who put their hope in God also adorn themselves
in this way, submitting to their own husbands,
just as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord.
You have become her children when you do what
is good and do not fear any intimidation. Husbands
in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding
way as with a weaker partner, showing them honor
as co -heirs of the grace of life so that your
prayers will not be hindered. This is God's word.
And now you understand my introduction. Now you
understand my introduction, because I promise
you in this room right now, some of you are going,
I thought this was Father's Day. And there were
six verses about wives, one about husbands, and
some really controversial language in there.
I don't like it. I don't like anything you said,
right? Someone might be thinking, a man definitely
wrote that. But I'm gonna ask that as we go through
this, we just hold our ideas about what this
means with an open hand. As we look at the Bible
and how it actually defines and contextualizes
this passage. So here we go. I don't believe
that we're here by chance. I don't think that.
that I think that God's providence is always
at work and there are reasons that we're here
and his word can have an impact on us. So I treasure
the time that we get to spend in his word, amen.
Even if it's about wives. Let's go through the
verse, okay. In the same way wives submit yourselves
to your own husbands. so that even if some disobey
the word, they may be won over without a word
by the way their wives live when they observe
your pure reverent lives. If you're taking notes,
the first point I'll have you write down is tethered
trust. Tethered trust. Both verse one and verse
seven began with in the same way. in the same
way, so talking about wives in the same way,
wives submit yourselves, and then later on it
says husbands in the same way. What's this same
way we're talking about? This refers back to
chapter two, where Peter instructed the believers
to submit to human authorities, why? And he said
in that scripture, we submit to human authorities
because of the Lord. That's why we submit to
human authorities. In other words, because you
are that servant of God and you listen to him
and you trust him and you love him, and remember
this is talking to believing wives, those who
have put their faith and hope in Jesus. Because
they are servants of God and they listen to him
and they trust him and they love him, then you
will listen to his command and with that will
submit to the human authorities, not because
they merit it or they are respectable, but because
of the Lord because of your allegiance to the
Lord. And I think Peter anticipates that this
would leave his readers and us today even with
a big question mark, like really, like how do
you actually do that? I don't get it. Because
I know a whole lot of people who are unworthy
of my respect and certainly unworthy of my submission,
right? Some of you guys have lived that life.
You have those experiences and those relationships.
And I want to tell you, as we go through this,
and as we talk through it, and I said this in
the first service, like, we're not gonna be able
to cover everything, and you'll probably have
questions at the end, and we need to process
this together, and so don't walk out with your
questions, come see me, I'd love to talk to you
about questions that might arise throughout the
course of the word here, because we need to learn
together and with one another in the context
here, and there's just so much to cover that
we're not gonna get to. every question you might
have as we go through the scripture. What's the
big question mark? How do we do this? How can
we actually begin to live this way and not only
live this way, not just mechanically do our duty,
but how can we desire to live this way? Which
is the deeper question that Jesus was constantly
asking is you can do all the things on the surface
and your heart can be rotten to the roots, right?
But how do I get my new desires to change? And
Peter actually addressed this at the end of chapter
two, when he said to those who are to submit
to human authorities, to those who are slaves,
to masters, right there in the center before
he gets to husbands and wives. So you got two,
you got the center, and you got these other two,
husbands and wives, right there in the center
is the motivation, is how we can do it. And it
starts with this, because you were called to
this because Christ suffered also for you. leaving
you an example that you would follow in his steps.
He did not commit sin, and no deceit was found
in his mouth. When he was insulted, he did not
insult in return. When he suffered, he did not
threaten, but entrusted himself to the one who
judges justly. And he himself bore our sins in
his body on the tree, so that having died to
sins, we might live for righteousness. By his
wounds you have been healed. for you were like
sheep gone astray, but you have now returned
to the shepherd and overseer of your soul." What
Peter was saying is Christ is your example. How
do I do this? How do I even begin to desire this?
Well, I remember my own salvation. I remember
the example of Christ, who being in very nature
with God, did not consider equality with God
something to be grasped or held to, but emptied
himself, becoming nothing, taking on. our flesh
coming down to this earth to live out his life,
to suffer unjustly and to die for us. I remember
that. And Christ's example begins to power me
for whatever this life might bring. But it's
not just it's not just his example sometimes
we can we can think of the Gospels in Christ
only as a really good example Well, there are
other good examples in this world too, right
Gandhi was pretty good example of some things
and Buddha maybe had some good examples Christ
isn't only our example as this passage lays out,
it's not just his example, but it's also his
work, what he did, what it means for us that
if you are in Christ, you are a new creation,
the old is gone, the new has come, a new birth
has happened. And as Ezekiel talked about and
promised to look forward to Christ and the Holy
Spirit coming, a new heart with new desires,
a desire to obey, a desire to please God. These
are all ours in Christ and so this powers us.
This is the question to how do I even do that
or begin to desire it? Christ has removed our
guilt and our sin and we can freely now walk
even into suffering unjustly like he did knowing
that we have a greater inheritance in the kingdom
of God. We have a greater inheritance that is
ours today as we walk through suffering because
of what Christ has done for us. We're not the
same. And so we can do this. We can obey the
scriptures. We can walk with Christ. We can follow
his example. And so chapter three begins in verse
one with this call. A call to voluntary submission
to wives, to their husbands. Voluntary submission.
We'll get back to that word. That's where everyone's
like all right. I can do that He said volunteer
what we'll get to that at the very end Or will
we know we'll run out of time and Wives are called
to voluntary submission to their husband. Is
this because their husbands are respectable men?
Are they perfect? Are they honorable all the
time? Don't raise your hands. It'll cause trouble
cause problems like no It's not because of their
respectability. It's not because of their perfection.
It's not because of their honor. No, again, as
we said, it says nothing about who they are,
whether they're a good man or not. What it says
is not all that different from the instruction
we saw to those who are to submit to human authorities,
and that is a believing wife is free to submit
to her husband, her own husband. not because
of his merit or respectability, but because of
her trust in God, because she is tethered to
his faithfulness above all. Tethered to Christ,
I can submit now freely, even when it's difficult.
Submission in marriage is not about inferiority,
it's about order. It's not about dominance. It's
about trust, a trust that is tethered to the
faithfulness of God. Peter says, so that even
if they disobey, even if the husbands are disobedient
to the word, and this is kind of a loaded statement.
It's got a lot of force to it that maybe doesn't
come across in the English, but it's not just
saying, oh, they're just an unbeliever. They're
ignorant to the faith. This is saying that the
faith has been presented to them, the gospel
has been brought to them, and they reject the
faith. They are disobedient to the Word. They
are actively living out conduct contrary to the
Word of God. They're in opposition to God. Even
those husbands can be submitted to if you're
tethered to the faithfulness of God. If you're
trusting in God and you're looking to what He
has done for you and you recognize your inheritance
in Him that is yours even today, then you can
obey. you can obey the commands of the scripture.
Even if they're disobedient, and in fact, it's
not just that, but it's that your obedience,
your submission becomes a gospel presentation.
We'll get to that in a little bit. Some have
suggested, just a little side note, some have
suggested that the word to submit here means
only to be thoughtful and considerate. to act
in love toward your husband. Those are not bad
things. Do all those things. However, I think
that that's too simplistic and it's not a legitimate
meaning of the term submission in scriptures.
In the scripture, it always implies a relationship
of submission. within the context of some level
of authority, whether it's Jesus to his parents,
or demons to the disciples, or citizens to governmental
officials, or unseen powers to Christ, or Christ
to the father, or members of the church to elders,
or the church being subject to Christ. Every
one of those situations that brings up this word,
this Greek word, is the context in which this
word lives in Scripture. And so in Scripture,
it's important to note that none of the relationships
that I just laid out there are ever reversed.
There's no scripture ever that commands the opposite.
Parents are never commanded to submit to their
children. They're not. And disciples are never
commanded to submit to demons. In any one of
those situations, any time that word has been
used in the New Testament, it is from the position
or the understanding of the sphere of submission
within the context of authority. And so that's
important to know. And I would love to get to
the grounding of this, particularly in marriage.
The grounding of this would take us all the way
back to Genesis and understanding God's creative
order. God's creative order before the fall.
And sometimes that's a really important thing
for us to look at and examine is what did God
intend before sin entered the world? We can look
back there and we can see that God created man
and woman, two sexes, two genders, right? Man
and woman. He created them. And it says that
man was made and then out of man, woman was made
as a helper or a helpmate or someone to come
alongside and co -rule and co -regent the world
with him, right? And that they were given a task
to do. And then Jesus makes reference to this
later, that that's the concept, that's the basis
for marriage. Marriage is the concept, the basis
of what God has done at the very beginning. man
and woman, man leaving his father and mother
and coming and being united with his wife and
the two becoming one, this is the basis of marriage.
And on this basis, we build out the whole doctrine
or understanding of what marriage looks like
and the fact that some folks want to flatten
every distinction and say, there's no difference.
Men and women are all the same in every respect.
And I always say the Bible will not allow that
level of simplicity. There are roles. There's
equality in dignity. There's equality in spiritual
life. There's equality in status before Jesus.
We'll talk about that in a little bit. Co -heirs
of grace. But we cannot flatten it to where there
is no distinction whatsoever. And so this grounding
is in Genesis, but we can't go much further in
that. I'm just gonna assert that the word says,
and I'll leave this to you if you wanna go deeper,
if you wanna have questions afterwards to me,
a believing wife can submit to her husband, whether
he's faithful or faithless, not because she trusts
him perfectly, but because she trusts God perfectly.
And her submission is not a statement about her
husband's worthiness. but about her allegiance
to Christ. She follows the example of Jesus who
submitted even under unjust suffering, not because
the authorities were righteous who were punishing
him, but because he entrusted himself to the
one who judges justly. And that's why this point
is called tethered trust, because submission
in marriage, as Peter describes it, is possible
only when it is anchored to God and not to the
merit of a man. The power of this posture is
that it doesn't just endure all grief and hardship
in submission. The power of this posture is that
it becomes a witness to Christ, a steady, quiet,
faithful testimony to a husband, even an unbelieving
one, that the gospel has changed the wife's heart,
has reordered her hopes, so her hope is no longer
in them, but her hope is in Jesus tethered to
the truth. And that gospel has changed her and
grounded her soul in something that is bigger
than their marriage. And that has a gravitational
pull on an unbelieving husband toward this truth,
toward this reality. He can still reject it,
but there's this gravity to it that pulls when
a woman is steady and tethered to the truth,
trusting in God. Two little points I'll make
before I move on. These are just little sidebars.
The first one is men, husbands. It says wives
submit yourselves. It says wives submit yourselves.
What it doesn't say is husbands demand your wives
submit to you. And so if your wife is not in
obedience to this scripture, it is not your job
to bang her over the head with scripture. but
to quietly pray and to begin to work with her,
to see what's the underlying problems and issues,
there might be some trust issues that you need
to work on. But this is submit, it's very interesting
that it's worded this way, submit yourselves
to your own husband. And a very dangerous teaching
that comes off of this is somehow that all women
have to submit to all men. It didn't say that.
That's garbage. What your wives submit to your
own husbands? Submit yourselves to your own husbands.
That's the first thing Submit yourselves husbands
don't demand submission. It's a choice. It's
her choice It's her choice of obedience to her
God and Savior And whether she will tether to
that trust and be able to do that is something
for her to wrestle with Scripture the spirit
within her conviction in order to move toward
that It's a good thing, but it's not your place
to demand it. And then submission also, like
I said, it carries the same idea as human authorities.
And that's important to note because the other
thing that I'll sidebar is, is that your ultimate
allegiance is to Christ, wives. And therefore
it can never include, your submission to your
husband can never include something that God
has forbidden or for you to abstain from something
that God has commanded. Your higher allegiance
is to Christ and Christ alone. And you must obey
him and him alone. And that may bring all kinds
of grief. And you don't do it with arrogance.
You don't do it with pride and going, I'm gonna
follow God and not you. You do it with humility.
You do it with trust that God is the ultimate
judge. But you say, hey, you make appeals. You
know, you make lots of appeals. Can we not do
that? Can we not go that direction? Can you not
have me lie on that or steal from there or do
that? Can you not, whatever it is, but in the
end it's I will not do it though. I cannot do
it. I cannot betray my ultimate allegiance to
Christ. Because then my witness is soiled. The
gravity of my witness is gone. The witness has
to stay intact by obedience to Christ and Christ
alone in the face of anything else. And my little
one, two, B is if your husband is abusing you,
we are blessed to live in a country that have
governing authorities and laws. that allow you
to pick up the phone and call them on your husband
and hold him accountable to other authorities
that he's accountable to. Do it. And then you
have other authorities in the church that you
can come to who will hopefully here at Village.
our leaders, our elders, who will come and walk
alongside you to care for you and be with you
through this process. And so you are not alone
in that. We live in a country that has laws,
and your husband has to abide by those laws as
well. And so you can use those laws in grace,
not in arrogance, not in pride, not in a vengeful
attitude. But in submission to those laws, you
can involve other authorities. I know that's
important for some of you because some of you
have experienced that. And I know that there's
some wacko teaching out there that says, just
take it. And I say, don't, don't just take it.
Use the available graces that are there. There
are lots of circumstances and situations, we
didn't really get a chance to cover the slaves
and masters passage in the last one, but those
slaves in the first century, they had no legal
recourse. So when Peter's talking to the slaves
and he says, hey, submit to your masters, even
if they're harsh, even if they may beat you,
like you have no recourse, you can't run away,
they'll bring you right back. You might get thrown
in prison or punished for running away. You have
no recourse and so you have to figure out how
are you going to be a gospel light even in the
dire situation you're in? And so Peter ministers
them as a pastor in that situation because they
had no other choice but you have a choice here
in America. And so I would encourage you to do
it, but do it humbly. And what a horrible situation
to be in. To have to. I understand. And I don't
want to push that too far. We want to understand,
abuse or illegal activity, these are areas where
there are other governing authorities that oversee
that. And we can lean into that. I'm not talking
about regular old marital interactions or fights.
I'm talking specifically about those that would
be covered by that. So praise God for His grace
in that, amen. Number two, if you're taking notes,
first one is tethered trust. The second one is
fearless faith. Don't let your beauty consist
of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and
wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, but rather
what is inside the heart, the imperishable quality
of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great
worth in God's sight. For in the past, the holy
women who put their hope in God also adorn themselves
in this way, submitting to their own husbands,
just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.
You have become her children when you do what
is good and do good. do not fear any intimidation.
After calling his wives to trust God through
submission, Peter moves deeper, not just to what
kind of behavior is called for, but why it's
possible. And that's at the heart of Peter's
vision is a woman whose faith in God frees her
from fear. Peter here is not condemning external
beauty. You don't need to take all your earrings
off, you know, and pull, make your hair as straight
as possible and put on a jean skirt or something
like that. I'm thinking of a different denomination.
Like you don't have to do any of those things.
It's a -okay. But what Peter is trying to do
is he's trying to reorder priorities. Outward
adornments fade. Beauty fades. We haven't found
the fountain of life yet, have we? And all those
promised cosmetics online, ladies, let me tell
you, I was going to say they're not working,
but they're doing just fine. Keep using them.
But maybe one day they'll come to work, right?
That popped in my head in the first service.
I thought about it afterwards, and I thought,
maybe it's not too edgy. It was too edgy. I shouldn't
have said that. Like, I said, that should have
stayed in. Y 'all look great. He's not condemning,
though, the external beauty. He's not condemning
what's on the outside, as much as he's trying
to reorder and say, hey, yeah. You may think
that the way to get what you want, the way to
get ahead in life is to doll yourself all up,
be sexy and go out there and get what you want.
And he said, no, let's reorder that. Let's talk
about something that is of a deeper characteristic,
an imperishable beauty. And I love that word,
imperishable, because in the New Testament, it's
only used of things that last into the future
kingdom. imperishable things, things that last.
A lot of things in our lives, when that last
day comes, are gonna burn up. But there are a
few imperishable things. And he says imperishable,
this inner beauty that endures forever. Well,
what defines this life? He says it's gentle and
quiet spirit. And some people have reacted to
that, gentle and quiet spirit. What you're saying
is shut up and know your place. And that's not
what it means at all. Again, we're not talking
about the outside, we're talking inside. Yes,
what comes out of our mouth comes from a source,
and that's our heart. But we're not talking about
working on the outside or conforming to some
norm or social norm, we're talking about what
happens on the inside. If it's gonna be imperishable,
it's made of the kind of quality that goes on
into eternity, not the things that are made of
a social moment or cultural moment at the time.
And what we're talking about here, is also words,
gentle and quiet spirit, the very words that
are used, Jesus uses of himself. So it's always
interesting when people say, this kind of posture
is very demeaning to women. Well, if it's demeaning
to women, then it was demeaning to Jesus. Then
it was lowering his value or his worth. And that
wasn't the case at all, was it? But Jesus said
of himself, I am gentle and lowly in heart. We
know that the fruit of the Spirit is gentleness.
Like it's for all believers, gentleness. We also
know that in 1 Thessalonians, Paul calls all
believers to live a quiet life. Live a quiet
life. And in that context, it's about gospel,
the gospel impact you can have. You want to live
a loud life, makes a big hubbub and is constantly
drawing attention to you and yourself? Or do
you want to live a quiet life so the gospel can
advance? in and through you. That's what he's
getting at, is a gentle and quiet spirit that
is rooted in faith, in fearless faith. It's not
passivity, it's not weakness. These qualities
reflect a woman who is not rattled by circumstances
or driven by fear, but who is quietly and confidently
anchored in God. Not demeaned in any way, but
Christ -like. Christ -like, and man, who doesn't
want to be Christ -like? That's the whole point.
We're following Christ. And Peter pulls in this
example, this real -world example of Sarah. And
we don't have time to go back and look at the
story itself in Genesis, but Sarah was the wife
of Abraham, one of the patriarchs of the faith.
In Genesis, you can read about it. And Sarah,
man, Sarah followed Abraham. God calls Abraham
to leave his father and mother, to leave everything
that he has, and to go where he will show him.
God's gonna show him where to go, and Abraham
becomes this kind of exile and stranger. That's
part of the reason Peter's drawing it in, is
it fits perfectly with his theme, right? Abraham
and Sarah and their whole family was like exiles
and strangers heading out into this world. And
Sarah said, all right, let's go. And she got
on board and went along with it. And then there's
a couple of crazy stories about Sarah and Abraham
in the Bible. Again, we don't have a whole lot
of time to get into, but they're just nuts though,
okay? You got Sarah and Abraham who are traveling,
they're exiles and strangers wandering around,
and they end up in Egypt. And Sarah's beautiful,
apparently. She's a beautiful woman. And Abraham's
worried because she's a beautiful woman, and
he knows that when he gets there, the Egyptians
are gonna want her for a wife. And that means
they're gonna kill him if he's the husband. And
it just so happened that Sarah, as was very common
in marrying within your tribe, Sarah happened
to be a half -sister of Abraham. And so Abraham
on this moment goes, hey, Sarah? You guys know
what a half -sister is, right? I saw some weird
looks. Like one parent in common, but not the
other one. They're entering Egypt and he says,
Sarah? I want you to say you're my sister. Then
they won't kill me to get you. And so Sarah's
like, yeah, Abraham's sister, that's my sister,
right? And what does the Pharaoh in Egypt do?
He's like, great, not your wife? Cool, she's
mine now and takes her into his harem, his many
wives or whatever. And while the text doesn't
explicitly say most commentators, they articulate
that before any sexual relation can happen and
Sarah is defiled in some way, the Lord intervenes
with plagues. And pretty soon the Pharaoh's like,
what did you do? What evil have you brought into
my house here? Take her, she's yours. And then
he moves on, right? And you think, well, just
imagine being the wife, right? Like, yo, what
just happened? Like, can we not do that, Abraham?
Like, anything else? Not that? And Abraham's
like, just wait a few chapters. We'll do it again.
Does the exact same thing again. The exact same
thing again. Hey, say you're my sister, this
king that we're coming up on, really brutal,
they're gonna kill me, but let's play this trick
again, right? And what most commentators are
saying is, is Abraham is not trusting the call
that God put out to him in the beginning, that
said he would protect him and be with him and
lead him to where he needed to go, and instead
he's putting his faith in all of these little
tricks. And God has grace for that, God covers
it, and in the end Abraham gets where he's supposed
to go, and Sarah's dragged along with him. the
Egyptian harem and this guy's harem over here
and pretty soon again though the Lord intervenes
causes trouble and Abraham's like yeah I kind
of told you a half truth she is my wife but she's
also my half sister gets his wife back and they
move on and Peter's like hey I want you to go
reference back into Genesis and I want you to
read those stories of Sarah and Abraham wives
and I want you to understand there's a principle
there for you and how you can live it's kind
of brutal But her faith wasn't in her husband
clearly, was it? It was in the God who was her
protection. There was a point where it's one
time where Sarah uses that word Lord and calls
Abraham Lord. And Lord is not like, you know.
King or master at that time it was it was more
a word akin to mister or sir, right an official
or a more formal term of acknowledgement and
she just recognized that God had called him to
lead and That he wasn't perfect, but she had
tethered herself enough to trust in God not perfectly
Sarah had plenty of issues to Tethered enough
to trust in God to where she could go on that
ride and Peter would commend her thousands of
years later. And Peter's saying that kind of
faith, that quiet, settled, obedient, fearless
trust in God is your spiritual inheritance, wives,
if you act like Sarah. If you have that same
confident trust, if you put your hope in God,
even when obeying or submitting, and I know I
said the word there, obeying, but it said it
there, right? Sarah obeyed Abraham. And so that's
drawing us back to that word submission. Again,
with all of the little caveats we carved out.
That's what makes you a daughter of Sarah. I'm
only talking to wise men. We're gonna talk to
the husbands for just a little bit in a second.
And then he says, don't fear intimidation. It's
the only time that that word intimidation is
used and that means panic or fright or deep anxiety.
And that tells us that Peter knew exactly what
the hearers, the readers were going to go through
as they read this. But Peter doesn't tell them.
to fight for control, does he? He calls them
to faith in the God who sees, the God who saves,
and the God who will ultimately vindicate. And
that's what fearless faith is. Not because there's
nothing scary, but because your heart is anchored
to someone who is greater than your fears. And
so wives, ladies, you don't have to manipulate
or control or dominate to be safe. You have a
God who will defend you. You have a God who hears
you and a God who honors you and calls that quiet,
gentle spirit something that is precious, valuable
and beautiful in his sight. Fearless faith is
not about trusting your situation. It's about
trusting in your savior. And when you rest in
him, your life becomes a picture of the gospel,
a witness to a watching world. Point number three,
men, we're gonna talk to you for just a minute.
Husbands, amen. Number three, an honoring headship.
Honoring headship, husbands in the same way,
live with your wives in an understanding way
as with a weaker partner, showing them honor
as coheirs of the grace of life so that your
prayers will not be hindered. As someone said,
yeah, you moved on to the husband thing, but
I still feel like they're talking to the wives
there, about the wives at least there. Coheirs,
weaker partner, what are we talking about here?
Peter now turns his attention to believing husbands.
If you put your hope and faith in Christ and
you are a husband to a wife today, this is for
you. Believing husband, he gives this single
verse, but it is weighty and it's counter -cultural.
This verse defines what biblical headship looks
like in this context. What he's talking about
is it's not about power. Biblical headship is
not about power, it's not about control, and
it's not about entitlement. It's about servant
leadership that honors your wife. That's what
biblical headship is, men. Live with your wives
in an understanding way. That phrase there in
the Greek literally means according to knowledge.
According to knowledge and the basic we won't
over complicate in the beginning here. The basics
of it is know your wife Know your wife Your leadership
in your marriage should be based on intimate
knowledge of your wife knowledge of God's purpose
for her his giftings that he has given to her
his desire for her and her desires and goals
and frustrations Her strengths and her weaknesses
in the physical emotional and spiritual realms
of life knowledge of her walk with Jesus. What
is she praying for? This is a huge question.
Do you know what your wife is praying for right
now? Do you know what she's praying for? Do you
know what she's wrestling with? What is the spirit
convicting her of right now? And where is Jesus
leading her? What is he leading her through right
now? Do you know your wife's husbands? A husband
must know his wife. He must not neglect knowing
her. He must know her physically, emotionally,
and spiritually better than anyone else in this
world because he is called to lead her. And that
knowledge equips him for the next part. He is
called to lead her. A husband is not to be passive
or clueless, but deliberately considerate, knowing
what builds her up and what honors her. Biblical
headship begins with spiritual and emotional
attentiveness. You cannot lead someone, you do
not know. And so it says, to live with your wives
with knowledge or with understanding, know your
wife, not my wife, not someone else's wife, know
your wife, and your wife's very different. Know
your wife, and then it says, To live with her
and understanding as the weaker partner now this
one can be a trigger for some people But I think
it's actually much simpler than we think Peter
implicitly acknowledges that as a husband By
virtue of your position of headship and leadership
within the family unit By virtue of that you
could abuse it You could abuse your headship
And Peter knows that. And so in, within the context
of the relationship, there is the man who is
called to lead and through servant's leadership,
not control and domination, but he could use
that twisted and distorted to dominate, to control,
to come down hard. And so Peter acknowledges
that a husband by virtue of his position and
also by virtue of his strengths, physical, spiritual,
emotional, social, that he has the potential
to dominate and misuse those strengths. Now it's
not gonna be the same for everyone. This isn't
some generalized rule like women are weaker than
men. My wife could beat me up. No really, my
wife is stronger, she's scrappier. Like she could
get in and under and you know. little gut punch
and I'd be on the ground, it'd be over, like
it would be done. I've only had to call the cops
a couple times. Just kidding. No, but there are
particular strengths that you do have though.
Maybe yours isn't physical strength, even though
men generally have greater physical strength,
but maybe it's emotional strength. You use forceful
words or tones or manipulation. When you're not
getting your way and you feel like things are
slipping out of your control, you puff up your
chest and you get a little louder and deeper
as a way to intimidate, to sound like a lion.
Maybe you use that and you try to make her subordinates
to your emotional force. Maybe it's spiritually.
Speaking as if your walk with God gives you some
supremacy over her voice or her experience or
her counsel. I've seen that as well. That's not
at all appropriate for a man of God. You live
with understanding, you know your wife, and you
understand that in the position that she's in,
in the modern term, power dynamics, you could
misuse your power and dominate and abuse her
or control her. You need to understand that and
you need to know where those potential weaknesses
are in the relationship. Your particular weaknesses.
Says, as a weaker partner, instead of doing that
stuff, instead of dominating or the world's understanding
of leadership and power, which is domination,
cruelty, control, instead of that, he says, no,
showing them honor. Have you ever had, I remember
growing up, my grandma's both had hutches that
had china in it, fine china. And you know, most
of the time we'd eat off of a paper plate, but
sometimes the fine china would come out, right?
But the fine china was like valuable, it was
precious and oftentimes it wasn't the most sturdy
stuff, right? You drop it on the table or you
drop it off the table and it's gonna shatter
everywhere. And so it was held in this cabinet,
this special place. I remember having to move
those hutches out after my grandparents died
in both times. I mean, those things are huge.
And they're like dedicated to plates. And they're
always in the way right there, right? It's like,
we don't do that anymore. Maybe some people do,
but I don't have a hutch with, you know, my fine
paper plates in there. No, but yes, that plate.
is fragile, that prey is breakable, but it's
of infinite value, right? You bought a hutch
and you put it in there and you let it sit there
for 50 years in the way, right? It must have
had value, it must have had worth. Yes, live
with understanding, know your wife. Understand
the position that she's in and your ability to
dominate if you choose and misuse your power,
but don't do that instead. Show her honor. Treat
her like something of great value and worth,
something that is priceless. And this is the
center of the verse. This is the call right here.
Live according to knowledge, yes. Study your
wife, be intentional, be empathetic, but then
show honor. The remedy of dominance is deliberate
elevation of your wife. Treating her as precious
and esteemed and worthy of care. Honor is the
proper tone of headship. And that's elevating
her in word and action, listening with respect,
speaking with gentleness, valuing insights and
counsel. It means as a man, as a leader, you
don't ever ram something through, because I can.
But you value and you elevate your wife and her
perspective. And oftentimes, a lot of times,
right? You go with her way and not your own.
A lot of times, it's better. More than 50%. Can't
stress it enough. You provide and you protect
and you're joyful. A husband's strength is not
in licensed dominance, but in understanding.
Where he could overpower, he instead chooses
honor. Where he could assert, he instead chooses
to affirm. And where he could control, he chooses
care. And the last and final point as we go out
is co -heir calling, if you're taking notes.
You show them honor, why? Because they're co
-heirs in the grace of life. See, now we're at
the point where it's like, she's not your project,
boy. She ain't your project to make whoever you
want, no. She is your equal partner in grace.
There's another scripture that sometimes is taken
out of context. I don't like when it's taken
out of context, but it does say in Galatians
chapter three, that in Christ, there is no male
or female, Greek or Jew, slave or free, but we
are all in Christ together. As it relates to
our co -heirship, the grace of Christ, there
is equality. It is a co -heir of Christ right
there. And your wife doesn't go through you to
get to God. That's another really wacky thing
that, oh, the husband's the priest. No, we get
away with the priesthood. Like we are the priesthood,
the people of God. And I get some people use
it in a different understanding or way. Yes,
we introduce ideas, we introduce spiritual nurturing
and food into our families as leaders, as servant
leaders. But let me tell you, your wife's praying
a whole lot when you're not there too. She got
direct access to God and God is listening to
her prayers. And even more so, if you are abusing
your leadership, I promise you, he's got a heart,
he's got something for the oppressed and those
who are marginalized and those who are under
the thumb. like he is a hearing aid turns up
to 10. Co -heirs with Christ. She stands beside
you at the foot of the cross. She is saved by
the same savior, filled with the same spirit,
destined for the same eternal glory. And all
of this wraps up, man, with this final little
statement. Do all of that in your headship and
leadership so that your prayers will not be hindered.
Now this is serious. God is saying, if you fail
to honor your wife, I will not honor your prayers.
Spiritual leadership that neglects the wife is
cut off from God's hearing. Heaven closes its
ears to the man who closes his heart to his wife.
Biblical headship is not about demanding submission.
It's about deepening trust through your Christ
-like sacrifice. You're not called to dominate
her. You're called to die for her, to lay your
life down. That's what Ephesians chapter 5 says.
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved his.
This is right after Paul just said to wives,
submit to husbands. It's the same thing. Submit
to your husbands, and you go, OK, that's a tough
teaching. You know what's also tough, maybe even
a little bit more, is die to yourself. How much
of you is left after you've died? None of it.
Lay it all aside. Lay down your life. Die to
yourselves as Christ died for the church, gave
himself up for her. so that he could wash her
with the water of the word and present her to
himself as holy and blameless. This is a call
to husbands, a call to biblical headship. A godly
husband doesn't use his strength to get his way.
He uses it to give her honor. And so, we invite
the worship team to come up, and I'll conclude
by saying, church, you can hear what Peter is
saying. Marriage isn't just some private arrangement.
It is a public testimony. It is a spectacle for
the glory of God that people might be drawn to
it. It has a gravity to it, especially when it
is done according to the blueprint we've been
given in scripture. When wives... can willingly
submit because they are tethered in trust to
the Lord. And when men can exchange the kind
of worldly leadership and dominance for a servant
-like leadership that Christ modeled and shower
their wives and elevate their wives and live
to wash their wives in the word, that marriage
has gravity. It pulls. It does something as people
watch and see. But the only way we can live this
out is not through willpower. It's not go home
and try harder. And remember, it's about looking
back to Christ and seeing Christ and understanding
the one to whom we are anchored, that Jesus is
our model. He submitted to the Father's will.
He suffered unjustly. He laid down his life in
order to redeem his bride, the church. That Jesus
is our power, that the Spirit itself is the power
source. He gives us new hearts so that we can
trust and we can honor and obey in a way that
the world can never explain. And Jesus is our
reward. Wives, Jesus is your reward. Husbands,
Jesus is your reward. And he sees every quiet
act of faithfulness and every sacrifice and every
moment you choose obedience over self -preservation.
And this passage calls us to a Christ -shaped
life, a life of submission to God and fearless
faith, a life of honoring others and reflecting
the grace that we've been given.