Good morning everyone glad you're here today
My name is Junia and today's scripture reading is from Matthew 5 31 and 32
That would be page 836 in the Bible's in the back of the pews
So it was also said whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce
But I tell you everyone who divorces his wife
Except in a case of sexual immorality
causes her to commit adultery and
Whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery
This is God's Word
I'm really glad that at the end of our scripture reading we say this is God's Word
Especially today
because
God's Word
according to 2nd Timothy chapter 3 verse 16 is
inspired by God and
Is profitable for teaching for rebuking and correcting and for training and righteousness
So that the people of God
May be complete equipped for every good work all of scripture
God breathed and useful for teaching and correcting us and so this morning we get to tackle
This scripture is one of the reasons why I also love when we go through books of the Bible
in sequence because
It's really easy as a pastor. I get to select what we teach I
Could skip this
Except that we said all scriptures God breathed all scriptures useful for us all scripture
We need to be shaped and trained by so we're prepared and so today
We come to Matthew 5 31 and 32
You pray with me
God grant us grace and truth this morning as we go to your word
May we open the eyes of our hearts to see your truth
May our spirit be warmed to your love and your care and concern for us
That you did not leave us be
and all of our sin and all our chaos
But you have invited us in to relationship with you
I pray that we would take that step as we study your word this morning in Jesus name. Amen
Well, some of you guys may know this but nearly half of all marriages in the United States
end in divorce
Nearly half of all marriages, but there's actually a caveat to that stat
That's first time marriages
Do you know what second time marriages what that stat is?
63% of all second marriages end in divorce
And that doesn't include third marriages
And dot dot dot
And onward third marriages
Nearly 75%
ends in divorce
And the result what is the result of divorce when it enters into a family when it enters in to a marriage
It comes in divides life, right?
it divides
possessions and
Physical goods it divides relationships
You know that that person that was once called mom
mother-in-law
Is now estranged oftentimes
That other person right now uncle that you really like to see had to choose a side
And they chose the side of their relative
And now that good time you used to have
Is now divided
You see it trickles down into all kinds of areas
Let alone the effect that it has if children are involved
We know
We see it all around
Yes, there are ways that you can ease the impact that a divorce might have on children, but there's always an impact
There's always an effect
And so we have divided lives divided stuff divided families divided
Kids going here and going there
As a society
As a society as whole as a whole we've we've bought into this idea of secularism
Modern secularism
One of its features is that you and I each individually are responsible for mapping out our
Identity
Our identity
We're in charge of choosing who we are in this world
And laying it out and letting other people know this is who we want to be
But that mapping out of our own identity is without reference point in modern secularism without rest reference point or relationship
To anything higher or larger anything outside of ourselves. We're told that we're supposed to look inside to find who we are
And then bring it out and everyone else if they're tolerant
We'll accept that and if they won't accept it, they're intolerant
Another feature is that we've unhitched from all of the classic institutions that humans and people often found meaning and purpose in
Things like religion on the decline
Families torn apart as we've already talked about
The institution of marriage
no longer held sacred 50 percent of them first time marriages end in divorce
They are no longer places that we as a society go to find purpose and meaning for our lives
Instead all of those institutions religion
family marriage, they are all commanded to yield
To the great and mighty modern self
The individual
Who is self-defined and self-fulfilled?
and self-centered
Marriage for instance has become merely a means to an end of gaining that self-chosen identity of the modern individual
It's utilitarian in that marriage is good only if it makes me happy
And helps me to feel fulfilled in this life
marriage is only good if it allows me to become the best version of me
If and when it ultimately no longer makes me happy and i'm no longer fulfilled by it
And my spouse is no longer pleasing me or helping me to become the best version of me
Instead of being the best version of me
Or helping me to become the best version of me instead as anyone who's been married is often drawing out the worst part of me
If that's the case, well it's ended
No fault divorce
Irreconcilable differences
No longer in love
Financial disagreement
All kinds of things go on the paper
The deeper question that we have to talk about and wrestle with today is are we are you and I living?
Truthfully when we live that way
Are we living truthfully when we live according to the modern secular mindset?
or
Is there a greater reality a greater truth that you and I were made to live into?
That's beyond that modern secular way
Question is are we self-defined and independent to choose our own course of happiness in this world?
Or are we created and absolutely dependent upon a creator who guides us to purpose in life
The book of Romans has this one scripture. It's often quoted. I think I've probably quoted it many times in my sermons, but Romans chapter one
beginning in verse 18
Says that the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all
godlessness and unrighteousness of people
Who by their own righteousness
suppress the truth
Since what can be known about God is evident among them
Because God has shown it to them for his invisible attributes that is his eternal power and his divine nature
Have been clearly seen since the creation of the world being understood through what he has made
And as a result of all of that that his divine nature is seen clearly in all that he has made
People are without excuse
When they deny God
For though they knew God they did not glorify him as God or show gratitude
They did not glorify him as God or show gratitude those who refuse to recognize
Those who refuse to worship and those who refuse to center their lives around their creator
It goes on to say are then turned over in their rebellion
They're turned over to their sinful way. They're turned over to their untruth that they're living as if it's truth
And where does that road lead them according to Romans?
deeper and deeper and deeper into sin
deeper and deeper and deeper into deception of the heart and mind
until
They no longer know up from down given over to their choice
It ultimately brings about destruction
Do they glorify him as God did they show gratitude?
Do they see that God
The creator who's visible in everything that he has made is therefore worthy of praise and thanksgiving
For he made me
And if if i'm created
That i'm dependent
But if i'm self-defined I could be independent
And that's oftentimes the mindset
That the secular world wants to be independent
And that's oftentimes the mindset that the secular world wants to promote among us
The sermon on the mound which is where we're at today in matthew five really is to us an invitation
It's an invitation to you and I to center our lives around the kingdom and the righteousness of God
It isn't so much a law that jesus is laying out a new law that must be obeyed it's actually
Something else altogether. It's actually more like a demand
Not a law a demand
His kingdom
The king of kings kingdom must be just
The king's kingdom must be good
The king's kingdom must be holy
For he is all of those things
And for his people they must be like him
and so
that includes how we
Treat one another even
In his kingdom, we will treat one another as he has treated us
He's the king and so it's not a law a whole new set of laws that jesus is no
It's simply the way of life of the kingdom
It's the way of life of the kingdom and we are invited into this new way
to be human
We are to put off the world in its ways
And move into life the kingdom way of life
And that's what we're invited into and so when we approach a text like today, even if it's a difficult text for some
I want that to be the background. I want that to be the noise behind it all
Will I acknowledge god as god?
And will I show gratitude for him?
For who he is in my life
Will I acknowledge that jesus's teaching?
Even on divorce is an invitation into a new way to be a human
Into a new life in the kingdom of god
So that I can be like my king
Who was holy I can be like my king who was good
And so the text today is
And so the text today in Matthew 5
Verse 31 says
It was also said
Whoever divorces his wife
Must give her a written notice of divorce
But I tell you everyone who divorces his wife except in the case of sexual immorality
Causes her to commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits
adultery
This text begins with a reference to deuteronomy chapter 24
verse 1
And so it was said in deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 1
If a man marries a woman
But she becomes displeasing to him
Because he finds something indecent about her
He may write her a divorce certificate hand it to her and send her away from his house
That's the you have heard it said
You have heard it said
That if she does something that displeases him
Because he finds something indecent in her
He can write a divorce certificate and send her on his way her way and he is free
to remarry
And so it begins with that reference to deuteronomy 24
And again, I want to point out that the text that jesus is speaking here in in matthew 5 is speaking in
Matthew 5 is speaking to men again
He's speaking to the men who are there and that's why we have the references from the man to the woman, right?
It would seem in the old testament law at least that god has expressly allowed divorce
If man finds something indecent in his wife, right?
If he can find something indecent in his wife
Then he is allowed to write her
A certificate of divorce now that that phrase indecent is actually a fairly obscure phrase
In the hebrew and it means something like the nakedness of a thing
The nakedness of a thing so if he finds the nakedness of a thing in her
Then he can write that certificate
And this could mean some sort of indecent exposure that she had actually what it can't mean is that she is unfaithful
Because there's a law for that
And that is if she's unfaithful
She is to be put to death
So no divorce is needed
If she was unfaithful
And
This interpretation what does this mean that a wife or that a husband might give a certificate of divorce even in jesus's day this
This thing was debated and interpreted differently
It was like what is it? What is that old testament deuteronomy 24? What is it actually saying in fact in
Matthew 19 so a little few chapters later than the scripture that we're in matthew 19 beginning in verse 1
It says when jesus had finished saying these things he departed from galilee and went to the region of judaea across the jordan
Large crowds followed him and he healed them there
Some Pharisees approached him detest him
They asked is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?
Can he divorce her on any grounds?
That right there is kind of a window into a discussion and a debate that was going on in the first century
And this was a debate between two houses or two schools of thought
One school of thought was called hillel or the house of hillel and one was the house of shemai and these two
rabbinical thought ways of thinking about the scripture were being discussed and talked about
around jesus's time
And the house or the school of thought of hillel interpreted deuteronomy 24
To mean that a husband could divorce his wife for any cause what was indecent in his wife could be anything
pretty wide open at least
for instance
If she spoke a certain way to him that he didn't like
Indecent i'd divorce you
If she burned the food for dinner
Divorce her that's indecent. So hillel said hey, it's pretty much
Fair game if you if she doesn't make you happy
Then you can divorce her
She was more on the conservative side and shemai taught the house of shemai taught that no divorce
Was only permitted in the case of infidelity
Divorce was only permitted in the case of infidelity. That's another little bit of background information
You need to know too is that in in the first century
Executions for violations of the law were far fewer than they were back in the old testament when deuteronomy was written
Rome had clamped down particularly around jesus's times on executions. They didn't want the jewish people just executing whoever they wanted
And so they clamped down on those executions. So what you had were people who were violating laws that required death
According to the torah the the jewish way of life, but they couldn't fully execute on those laws
And so even you know, you have a situation
where
The woman who was caught in adultery
They wanted to they wanted to stone her
They didn't get away with it because jesus was there and it's not that there wasn't moments where mobs kind of rose up and did all kinds of things
But rome loved peace
Rome hated discord
And so the jewish people had to act in a certain way to maintain peace
Shemai says hey, you know what?
The only way that you can issue a certificate of divorce is infidelity
Unfaithfulness
And the truth is matthew 19 is actually an attempt by these
Pharisees to trap jesus they want him to say something that will trip him up and get him ultimately
The get the people who are there to turn away from him or turn against him
That's what their whole plan is and so they're using this as a trap and what is jesus's reply?
To to their question. Is it lawful for a man to
Divorce his wife on any grounds? Are you of the school of hillel or are you the school of shemai jesus?
take your pick
and jesus says
Haven't you read
That he who created them in the beginning
Made them male and female
And he also said for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife
And the two will become one flesh
So they are no longer two but one flesh therefore what god has joined together. Let no one separate
Why then they asked him did moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away
Jesus told them moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts
But it was not like that from the beginning
I tell you whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality
And marries another commits adultery
Notice where jesus takes this argument he doesn't go back and quote another old testament law
He doesn't say doesn't it also say this but he says remember the god of creation
Know the god of creation
Know the god of creation remember that behind all of this
That you and I experience on a day-to-day basis there is god
Who was there from the beginning and before?
And he did it for a purpose and a reason everything
And so
At the beginning jesus is basically doing the opposite of what the people are accused of romans of doing right they wouldn't acknowledge
God or give him thanks. He's saying look at the people
Look at what he did he made man
He made woman
And he said when they joined together
Something happens and let's talk a little bit more about that
What god intended from the beginning that's where jesus anchors his response
Marriage
Is the joining together of one man and one woman?
in such a way
That they become as one flesh
inseparable
No longer two
one
So
Who did the joining though?
That's interesting to see here in this text who did the joining because
Man left his father and mother and yes joined sexually and materially and physically with his wife. Yes
But then it says that god
Has ultimately joined them together
And no one is to undo the joining that god has done
So are you married who's married here today
So you you thought of a date
You chose a date when you would get married right you you did that right?
You thought of a date
You thought of who you were going to send your invitations to
And you did that you you chose your spouse
hopefully
Unless it's an arranged marriage that i'm not aware of in here, but you chose your spouse
and they chose you
And you walked you you you decided on what vows maybe it was that cookie cutter vows
Right that were passed around from pastor to pastor
Or maybe it was your own special
Vows that you can't remember like me and my wife
Because we didn't write them down
Whatever it is yes, we did that we chose that we we showed up on the day
We walked down the aisle. We stood in front of our witnesses and we said I do
Behind all of that something else happened
Something that is far more significant and far more binding
Than what we did
God did something
Behind all of that
When it's said and done
In the presence of god the bible says that the ultimate fusing of the two
Into one was done by god and it was a permanent union in his mind
The scripture tells us that divorce was a consistent
The scripture tells us that divorce was a concession
Because of hardness of heart
That divorce was a concession because otherwise as humans under the curse of sin we would do terrible things to one another
If we were bound to the level
That god intended us to be bound
And actually views us as bound
And so there's a concession, but it is not a concession
It's a concession
Rooted in god's creative intent. It's a concession rooted in our sinfulness
And our inability to keep his commands
Notice that
The pharisees say
Demanded us to give a certificate of divorce if we find anything in our lives that make us unhappy
But actually that's not what the scripture said
The scripture said you may
And jesus actually picks up on that in the way that he says it he says
Moses didn't command he permitted you
Because of the hardness of your heart
Both in matthew 5 and matthew 19 we do see though that there is one exception isn't there?
One exception to this
Binding together in marriage
Says sexual immorality
If a man divorces his wife
Except in the case of sexual immorality
He causes her to become an adulterer
What is sexual immorality let's talk about that a little bit
It's this term
Pornaya
And the term pornea doesn't so much describe a particular act or sexual act
As so much as it is a kind of catch-all phrase for anything that extends beyond the intent and boundaries
That god has set for sexual intimacy
Anything that goes is sexual in nature and goes beyond god's intent and purpose
For sexual union is pornea
Or sexual immorality is from that greek word we get words that you definitely would recognize like pornography
Pornography we talked about this last week is a form of adultery of the heart
It's pornea
Infidelity which is physical adultery actually taking the steps to follow through
Rape which is forced sex against will pornea sexual immorality
Anything that would sexually harm your spouse even in the confines of a marriage
Would be sexually immoral
Going beyond god's intent
Sexual sin
And these sexual sins is pornea violate the covenantal bonds of the heart
And these sexual sins is pornea violate the covenantal bonds of marriage
Either by going outside of the marriage for self-gratification or staying within the marriage, but taking what is not given
Sexual immorality is the only exception that jesus provides here because that is the context for the question. He's being asked
What
What was permitted with divorce
So it does leave the question. Is this the only exception that is given in the bible for divorce?
First corinthians chapter 7 verse 15 is the only other place with an additional exception
First corinthians 7 15 gives one additional exception that paul writes to the church in corinth
He says if an unbelieving spouse
Abandons a believing spouse
The a believing spouse is free from that marriage
So abandonment by an unbelieving spouse
You notice it says unbelieving a believing spouse can't abandon his wife and free the marriage
an unbelieving spouse
Fleeing or abandoning
Is the only other exception that's laid out matthew back in matthew 5 32
It has an interesting ending to it
Because it says i tell you everyone who divorces his wife except in the case of sexual immorality
Causes her to commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery
So what does it mean causes her to commit adultery
if a man
divorces a woman's wife without cause
Not because she she fails to commit adultery
With not because she she failed sexually she went outside of the marriage or she engages some sort of sexual immorality if a husband
divorces her
without cause
He causes her
To become an adultery adulterer
She commits adultery
so in context
A woman was almost universally expected to remarry if her husband divorced her
In the first century it was not good for a woman to live alone
Especially a younger woman who was of marrying age it was almost universally expected that she would remarry after a divorce
And jesus is saying here that if a man divorces his wife without cause
When she remarries out of necessity and provision and protection
She will be committing adultery by being with another man
By being with another man and the man who marries her will be committing adultery for being with another man's wife
And there's debate over that wording he causes her
And the debate is who gets the guilt
Is it the man who initiated the divorce without cause
And then the woman who needed to get married for protection and provision
Who then commits adultery because he caused her to is he the original husband who did that the guilty one?
The guilt and carrying the guilt for her and for the man who remarried her
Or is it on them
And that has been debated and discussed and I think this is where I land
This is John I not the lord
I not the lord
I land
That I don't think god
Is looking to punish the victims
of an unjust
divorce
In this context a woman looking for provision and protection who will remarry
The man who initiated it will carry the guilt
My take
Again, I read four different commentaries and we went back and forth me and Craig Keener. I'm just kidding
Sorry, I was naming commentaries that no one would know
But there's something else though that is interesting about that how can it be adultery
After they've gotten a divorce
And I think that's even the more profound thing in his teaching
Is that for it to be adultery?
It means that the divorce
Didn't remove the moral obligation of the marriage
That in god's eyes, they were still married
Even after the divorce
Let no man
Separate what god has bound
Even after the divorce they're still morally bound to one another before god. I think that's the interesting part
So listen to how first corinthians chapter 7 verse 10 and 11
Say this
To the married I give the command
Not I
But the lord I borrowed a little bit of paul earlier when I said I but not the lord
To the married I give this command not I but the lord a wife is not to leave her husband
But if she leaves
She must remain unmarried
Or be married
Or be reconciled to her husband
And a husband must not divorce his wife
Leave and divorce are kind of equivalent actions at this time and place where paul wrote this
A man had a legal recourse he could take that was called divorce a woman could leave
And maybe didn't have the same legal recourse, but they're the same thing
At least in principle
And so don't hear two different things a man divorces, but a wife leaves
They're both the same principle and what he says is that underneath it all
If they leave
Even if they leave they're still obligated to remain unmarried or to remarry
That's their obligation
Remember he's talking to believers too
He's talking to believers
And he said your obligation as a believer is if you do leave your husband or wife you remain unmarried
And seek with all your heart to be reconciled because this thing isn't broken yet
This bond isn't broken
Just because you walked
out of the door
You are obligated to remain unmarried or be reconciled why because remarriage to another person would add adultery
as a sin
To the separating what God has already joined together
If you remarry and you sleep with presumably you have sexual relations with your husband your new husband or wife
You are adding the sin of adultery to already separating the bonds of marriage
You're adding sin upon sin upon sin
The question is will we live
Will we live
As if we are self-defined and independent
Or as if we are created and dependent receiving what is good from our creator who is good
This is always the question when we come to the word of God
Will we believe God for what is good or will we redefine good and evil in our own eyes and take what God forbids
Which by the way he only forbids because it's not for our good
Because he's good and he wants what is good for us and so he forbids it
Will we though redefine good and evil and take what is not good for ourselves
He knows us because he created us and he knows us
And he wants good for us because he is good
I realize as I as I'm going through this
Some of you for some of you in this room this isn't theological this isn't some high discussion this is personal
Life experience
I wouldn't be surprised in a room like this if there's not someone who falls under almost every heading or at least knows someone
Some have endured difficult and trying years
Some of you have experienced divorce
Some because you chose it
And some because it was thrust on you
Even when you fought to save your marriage
I also realized that there are a number of reasons why divorce might have happened that fall outside of the oversimplification of we just fell out of love
And I realized that in a fallen world abuse both physical and mental is a real issue
And that humans do terrible things to one another
And I think that comes into play from a pastoral standpoint when you're dealing with each individual unique situation
It doesn't negate the word of God
It does not at all
That's why I hope I preached it as clear as possible today
And there's more that I could have done I just you guys probably don't want to be here all day
But I also know this and I think you'd have to admit this that the heart is deceitful
I heard a pastor say 95% of the time everyone here will do what they want
And then afterward find a reason to justify it
And we can turn things around and say we're going to do what we want
And we can turn things
Listen, real talk, right?
There is legitimately abuse that happens in the confines of marriage that is terrible and horrible
And God does not approve
And we do not approve
And we believe that in the context of a community of faith we can be here for one another
If you're in a situation where you're abused in the context of a relationship come talk to me
We will work this out, you don't have to go back
We will work it out
But I also know, in my own heart at least
That I can call all kinds of things by different names in order to justify my sinful inclination
I know that's also true
And so I know that we have to weigh this very heavily
It is not easy
This is not a simple teaching
I told my wife to pack our bags before I got up here
Just in case we had to run to the car really quick
Half jokingly
The heart is deceitful
And we often do whatever we want
That will bring us our greatest happiness, we think
And we try to collect different reasons to justify it in retrospect
And I believe that these scriptures out of Matthew, 1 Corinthians, draw us back
When we want to go down that path
We want our own happiness to trump everything else
And we don't want to collect all the reasons and justifications so that we can come and say
I had to or it was the right thing to do
I think these scriptures draw us back to sobriety
Where we have to actually stop and go, oh, I've got to contend with God
These scriptures, in drawing us back
They draw us back to the purpose that God has in this world for us
And specifically the purpose that God has in our marriages
Marriage is the most difficult of all relationships
Can I get an amen?
Marriage is the most difficult of all relationships because
It is the most glorious and beautiful symbol
Of the union of Christ and his bride
Ever to grace this world
Did you know that the meaning of marriage behind all of the struggles
Behind every discussion and every argument about finances
And every moment of joy and every moment of sorrow is this
That marriage is meant to display to all of creation
The union of Christ and his bride, the church, the people of God
And the question that creation is asking, leaning in is
Will he leave her?
Will he abandon her?
Will he seek his own happiness over her good?
Did he lay down his life for her?
To save her?
Has he given all that he has for her?
To save her? Has he given all that he has for her?
Has he endured greatly her waywardness, her wandering
And her sin against him?
Has he washed her with the water of the word?
And is he presenting her to himself, holy and blameless?
The world's watching marriage as the great display
The glorious signpost of Christ and his beloved
I'll tell you this, I don't have time to go through all of
The personal experiences that are probably represented in this room
That would be the most pastoral thing to do is to sit down and just
Let's go to town
And all the factors that have led to a particular divorce
Or a particular remarriage
And the applications that come from all that would be way too numerous to cover
If you are wondering though about your situation
Then I just say let's talk
Let's talk
You and I
Let's talk
You and I
We can go to God's word together
We can see how he wants us to respond
Through repentance, confession and faith
There's great forgiveness for our past sins
But in keeping with the other side
I have to say true repentance requires prayer
Requires brokenness over the sin
Indignation toward the sin
And a desire to make things right