WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.640 Nobody ever told me that my body was paying the 00:00:02.640 --> 00:00:05.740 price when I pushed my feelings down and ignored 00:00:05.740 --> 00:00:08.060 them. What I didn't understand back then was 00:00:08.060 --> 00:00:11.160 my body wasn't broken. It was communicating with 00:00:11.160 --> 00:00:14.240 me. I want to share how suppressing my emotions 00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:17.260 showed up in my body. The moment I realized what 00:00:17.260 --> 00:00:19.940 was really happening and what actually began 00:00:19.940 --> 00:00:22.420 to help me heal. And if any of this resonates 00:00:22.420 --> 00:00:25.480 with you, please know you're not alone. I've 00:00:25.480 --> 00:00:27.609 been there too. For as long as I can remember, 00:00:27.609 --> 00:00:30.250 I felt like an outsider. Even as a child, I felt 00:00:30.250 --> 00:00:32.869 like I was looking in from the outside, wondering 00:00:32.869 --> 00:00:36.030 what in the world was wrong with me. I was sensitive 00:00:36.030 --> 00:00:39.509 and empathic, and I was often told directly or 00:00:39.509 --> 00:00:43.049 indirectly to quit being that way. In my home, 00:00:43.270 --> 00:00:46.409 being worthy meant being a good little girl, 00:00:46.590 --> 00:00:50.070 following the rules, getting good grades, not 00:00:50.070 --> 00:00:53.829 causing problems, not expressing too much emotion. 00:00:53.890 --> 00:00:57.340 So I learned very early what safe to share how 00:00:57.340 --> 00:01:01.179 I really felt inside. So staying quiet became 00:01:01.179 --> 00:01:03.960 my way of protecting myself. My home growing 00:01:03.960 --> 00:01:07.480 up was not a place of warmth and safety. My parents 00:01:07.480 --> 00:01:09.140 were doing the best with what they were given, 00:01:09.560 --> 00:01:12.299 but unresolved trauma, emotional unavailability 00:01:12.299 --> 00:01:15.719 from their own parents and fear especially around 00:01:15.719 --> 00:01:17.980 money were part of the atmosphere that I grew 00:01:17.980 --> 00:01:20.859 up in and absorbed. I learned not to share my 00:01:20.859 --> 00:01:24.099 emotions, not speak up and definitely don't be 00:01:24.099 --> 00:01:26.840 vulnerable. Looking back it wasn't weakness. 00:01:26.840 --> 00:01:30.140 I was surviving in the only way that I knew how. 00:01:30.299 --> 00:01:32.299 Now what I didn't understand at the time is that 00:01:32.299 --> 00:01:35.099 my body was carrying all the emotions that I 00:01:35.099 --> 00:01:37.799 had not expressed during my lifetime. In college 00:01:37.799 --> 00:01:41.340 I stayed in the engineering program that I really 00:01:41.340 --> 00:01:43.959 didn't want to be in. I wanted to quit that program. 00:01:43.980 --> 00:01:46.439 It never occurred to me that I had other options 00:01:46.439 --> 00:01:50.599 and that constant stress resulted it in IBS or 00:01:50.599 --> 00:01:53.019 irritable bowel syndrome. In my early career 00:01:53.019 --> 00:01:56.370 I felt unsafe. unsupported and deeply stressed. 00:01:56.390 --> 00:01:59.409 I was laid off from my first job in a very tough 00:01:59.409 --> 00:02:03.049 economy sexually harassed in my second job and 00:02:03.049 --> 00:02:05.950 navigating adulthood without emotional support 00:02:05.950 --> 00:02:09.210 resulted in cystic acne showing up on my face. 00:02:09.250 --> 00:02:11.689 After my second child was born my body could 00:02:11.689 --> 00:02:14.569 no longer compensate and that's when the thyroid 00:02:14.569 --> 00:02:17.210 issues started to surface and I couldn't ignore 00:02:17.210 --> 00:02:20.229 symptoms any longer. Then later in life during 00:02:20.229 --> 00:02:23.830 a really difficult emotional time marriage was 00:02:23.830 --> 00:02:26.729 starting to get rocky, joint pain started to 00:02:26.729 --> 00:02:28.949 surface. And I think part of that was just the 00:02:28.949 --> 00:02:31.169 fear of moving forward and then having the lack 00:02:31.169 --> 00:02:34.590 of support in that relationship. Each time my 00:02:34.590 --> 00:02:37.590 body wasn't failing me, it was trying to get 00:02:37.590 --> 00:02:40.189 my attention. And even with all the work that 00:02:40.189 --> 00:02:43.770 I've done in energy over the years, I still hadn't 00:02:43.770 --> 00:02:46.689 completely connected the dots. So about eight 00:02:46.689 --> 00:02:49.150 years ago while I was in craniosacral therapy 00:02:49.150 --> 00:02:52.270 training, I was taking a class in somato -emotional 00:02:52.360 --> 00:02:55.500 And that's when I learned something that changed 00:02:55.500 --> 00:02:59.400 everything for me. The body stores unprocessed 00:02:59.400 --> 00:03:01.919 emotions. And when emotions don't have a voice, 00:03:02.120 --> 00:03:04.860 the body will find a way to make itself heard. 00:03:05.099 --> 00:03:07.580 I also began learning about ancestral patterns 00:03:07.580 --> 00:03:10.699 and epigenetics and that trauma doesn't end with 00:03:10.699 --> 00:03:13.520 one generation. That it can be passed down from 00:03:13.520 --> 00:03:16.360 generation to generation. And I realized I was 00:03:16.360 --> 00:03:19.919 too young to feel this tired and heavy and disconnected. 00:03:20.259 --> 00:03:23.639 That there had to be a better way. And for the 00:03:23.639 --> 00:03:26.900 first time, I made a conscious decision to start 00:03:26.900 --> 00:03:29.879 to take back my power. As I began working with 00:03:29.879 --> 00:03:33.419 energy, clearing out old emotional and ancestral 00:03:33.419 --> 00:03:37.259 patterns, my nervous system had to recalibrate. 00:03:37.580 --> 00:03:40.819 Healing wasn't about fixing myself, it was about 00:03:40.819 --> 00:03:44.520 bringing my body back to balance, body, mind 00:03:44.520 --> 00:03:47.879 and spirit, that place of harmony. What helped 00:03:47.879 --> 00:03:50.460 me most was learning about how to be present 00:03:50.460 --> 00:03:53.060 with without judging myself. Meditation helped 00:03:53.060 --> 00:03:55.780 me create inner safety. Spiritual counseling 00:03:55.780 --> 00:03:59.120 helped me feel supported and heard. Journaling 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:02.020 gave my feelings a voice. Breath work helped 00:04:02.020 --> 00:04:04.979 me regulate my nervous system and bring me back 00:04:04.979 --> 00:04:08.780 into the present moment. And over time, I began 00:04:08.780 --> 00:04:11.699 to notice synchronicities, gentle reminders that 00:04:11.699 --> 00:04:15.120 I wasn't truly alone and that I could trust myself 00:04:15.120 --> 00:04:18.120 again. Healing. Definitely didn't happen overnight. 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:21.220 It is going to be a lifelong journey and it's 00:04:21.220 --> 00:04:25.120 not linear. But each step created more space 00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:28.939 in my body, in my energy, and in my life. If 00:04:28.939 --> 00:04:32.100 you can relate to any of this, please know you're 00:04:32.100 --> 00:04:34.959 not broken. You did the best you could with what 00:04:34.959 --> 00:04:37.360 you knew at the time. And you can begin claiming 00:04:37.360 --> 00:04:40.680 back your power at any moment, one step at a 00:04:40.680 --> 00:04:43.600 time. As you listen to this, notice if your body 00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:49.069 reacted at any point. Emotion resonance that's 00:04:49.069 --> 00:04:51.850 information. So let's take a nice slow breath 00:04:51.850 --> 00:05:02.990 in And exhale Let's release what doesn't service 00:05:02.990 --> 00:05:07.990 that tightness that stress gently move your shoulders 00:05:07.990 --> 00:05:12.769 Relax your jaw and just imagine that stress is 00:05:12.769 --> 00:05:19.350 being released with the exhale Imagine any heavy 00:05:19.350 --> 00:05:23.709 energy is dissolving and you're bringing in peace 00:05:23.709 --> 00:05:28.670 and calm and love. Your guidance team, source 00:05:28.670 --> 00:05:31.949 angels, your loved ones in spirit want you to 00:05:31.949 --> 00:05:38.250 know how much you are held in love. Thank you 00:05:38.250 --> 00:05:40.790 so much for listening. If any of this resonated 00:05:40.790 --> 00:05:43.470 with you, please feel free to share in the comments. 00:05:43.850 --> 00:05:47.149 I would love to hear what you learned about your 00:05:47.149 --> 00:05:49.709 body today and your experiences. I'll see you 00:05:49.709 --> 00:05:50.250 next time.