Nobody ever told me that my body was paying the
price when I pushed my feelings down and ignored
them. What I didn't understand back then was
my body wasn't broken. It was communicating with
me. I want to share how suppressing my emotions
showed up in my body. The moment I realized what
was really happening and what actually began
to help me heal. And if any of this resonates
with you, please know you're not alone. I've
been there too. For as long as I can remember,
I felt like an outsider. Even as a child, I felt
like I was looking in from the outside, wondering
what in the world was wrong with me. I was sensitive
and empathic, and I was often told directly or
indirectly to quit being that way. In my home,
being worthy meant being a good little girl,
following the rules, getting good grades, not
causing problems, not expressing too much emotion.
So I learned very early what safe to share how
I really felt inside. So staying quiet became
my way of protecting myself. My home growing
up was not a place of warmth and safety. My parents
were doing the best with what they were given,
but unresolved trauma, emotional unavailability
from their own parents and fear especially around
money were part of the atmosphere that I grew
up in and absorbed. I learned not to share my
emotions, not speak up and definitely don't be
vulnerable. Looking back it wasn't weakness.
I was surviving in the only way that I knew how.
Now what I didn't understand at the time is that
my body was carrying all the emotions that I
had not expressed during my lifetime. In college
I stayed in the engineering program that I really
didn't want to be in. I wanted to quit that program.
It never occurred to me that I had other options
and that constant stress resulted it in IBS or
irritable bowel syndrome. In my early career
I felt unsafe. unsupported and deeply stressed.
I was laid off from my first job in a very tough
economy sexually harassed in my second job and
navigating adulthood without emotional support
resulted in cystic acne showing up on my face.
After my second child was born my body could
no longer compensate and that's when the thyroid
issues started to surface and I couldn't ignore
symptoms any longer. Then later in life during
a really difficult emotional time marriage was
starting to get rocky, joint pain started to
surface. And I think part of that was just the
fear of moving forward and then having the lack
of support in that relationship. Each time my
body wasn't failing me, it was trying to get
my attention. And even with all the work that
I've done in energy over the years, I still hadn't
completely connected the dots. So about eight
years ago while I was in craniosacral therapy
training, I was taking a class in somato -emotional
And that's when I learned something that changed
everything for me. The body stores unprocessed
emotions. And when emotions don't have a voice,
the body will find a way to make itself heard.
I also began learning about ancestral patterns
and epigenetics and that trauma doesn't end with
one generation. That it can be passed down from
generation to generation. And I realized I was
too young to feel this tired and heavy and disconnected.
That there had to be a better way. And for the
first time, I made a conscious decision to start
to take back my power. As I began working with
energy, clearing out old emotional and ancestral
patterns, my nervous system had to recalibrate.
Healing wasn't about fixing myself, it was about
bringing my body back to balance, body, mind
and spirit, that place of harmony. What helped
me most was learning about how to be present
with without judging myself. Meditation helped
me create inner safety. Spiritual counseling
helped me feel supported and heard. Journaling
gave my feelings a voice. Breath work helped
me regulate my nervous system and bring me back
into the present moment. And over time, I began
to notice synchronicities, gentle reminders that
I wasn't truly alone and that I could trust myself
again. Healing. Definitely didn't happen overnight.
It is going to be a lifelong journey and it's
not linear. But each step created more space
in my body, in my energy, and in my life. If
you can relate to any of this, please know you're
not broken. You did the best you could with what
you knew at the time. And you can begin claiming
back your power at any moment, one step at a
time. As you listen to this, notice if your body
reacted at any point. Emotion resonance that's
information. So let's take a nice slow breath
in And exhale Let's release what doesn't service
that tightness that stress gently move your shoulders
Relax your jaw and just imagine that stress is
being released with the exhale Imagine any heavy
energy is dissolving and you're bringing in peace
and calm and love. Your guidance team, source
angels, your loved ones in spirit want you to
know how much you are held in love. Thank you
so much for listening. If any of this resonated
with you, please feel free to share in the comments.
I would love to hear what you learned about your
body today and your experiences. I'll see you
next time.