WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.359 I have always pushed my feelings down, not speaking 00:00:02.359 --> 00:00:05.099 up to avoid conflict and keep the peace, pretending 00:00:05.099 --> 00:00:07.179 to the outside world that everything was okay 00:00:07.179 --> 00:00:10.339 when it wasn't, and focusing on being positive 00:00:10.339 --> 00:00:12.900 instead of the negative. But it took me 50 years 00:00:12.900 --> 00:00:15.900 to realize that avoiding my feelings is not living 00:00:15.900 --> 00:00:18.739 an authentic spiritual life. And by doing that, 00:00:18.879 --> 00:00:21.980 it was creating some physical and emotional harm 00:00:21.980 --> 00:00:24.469 to me. I just want to take a few minutes to share 00:00:24.469 --> 00:00:27.829 some lessons that took me from avoidance to expanding 00:00:27.829 --> 00:00:30.910 my intuition and connection with my inner guidance. 00:00:31.170 --> 00:00:33.369 Some of this might not be what you are expecting, 00:00:33.369 --> 00:00:37.289 but it's about being real and not spiritual bypassing. 00:00:37.350 --> 00:00:39.929 This is my personal story. I am not a doctor. 00:00:40.149 --> 00:00:42.689 Please seek out the appropriate medical or mental 00:00:42.689 --> 00:00:45.530 health professional advice. Spiritual bypassing 00:00:45.530 --> 00:00:49.609 is avoiding real feelings. I avoid emotions or 00:00:49.609 --> 00:00:52.549 difficult, challenging situations. and I might 00:00:52.549 --> 00:00:55.990 find myself over -meditating. Oftentimes, just 00:00:55.990 --> 00:00:59.030 think positive, not negative. This happens because 00:00:59.030 --> 00:01:02.250 I have a fear of heaviness and conflict. And 00:01:02.250 --> 00:01:05.609 as a sensitive, intuitive, empathic person, sometimes 00:01:05.609 --> 00:01:08.930 it's just easier to do that than to feel the 00:01:08.930 --> 00:01:12.590 emotions and to bypass the conflict or the discomfort. 00:01:12.769 --> 00:01:15.989 Now this is normal behavior for people especially 00:01:15.989 --> 00:01:18.609 who've been raised in toxic households or have 00:01:18.609 --> 00:01:21.590 had toxic relationships. So I look at this not 00:01:21.590 --> 00:01:23.909 as a failure, but an opportunity for some great 00:01:23.909 --> 00:01:26.450 growth and healing. Now some of the signs I realized 00:01:26.450 --> 00:01:28.750 when I'm spiritual bypassing, I might minimize 00:01:28.750 --> 00:01:33.069 pain and emotion, I found myself over spiritualizing, 00:01:33.409 --> 00:01:36.450 over intellectualizing instead of feeling those 00:01:36.450 --> 00:01:39.950 emotions, or avoiding difficult conversations, 00:01:39.950 --> 00:01:43.829 because it's just easier to let something supposedly 00:01:43.829 --> 00:01:46.829 roll off my back than to speak my truth and my 00:01:46.829 --> 00:01:49.290 voice. For example, where I was dealing with 00:01:49.290 --> 00:01:51.879 a narcissistic person, It would just be easier 00:01:51.879 --> 00:01:55.459 to walk on eggshells or go along or not say anything 00:01:55.459 --> 00:01:57.900 and stuff my true feelings down because after 00:01:57.900 --> 00:02:01.760 being gaslit so many times it becomes so painful. 00:02:02.140 --> 00:02:05.540 It's just easier to not say anything than to 00:02:05.540 --> 00:02:07.859 feel the criticism from somebody else who's not 00:02:07.859 --> 00:02:10.840 truly hearing my voice. It was easier to just 00:02:10.840 --> 00:02:14.439 not say anything than to be told that my voice 00:02:14.439 --> 00:02:17.039 wasn't important. I would often say I'll just 00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:19.300 let it roll off my back. I'm just gonna bury 00:02:19.300 --> 00:02:22.060 and the emotions not realizing the toll it was 00:02:22.060 --> 00:02:24.860 taking on my energy and then my physical body. 00:02:24.939 --> 00:02:27.439 The problem with this is that I would find my 00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:30.180 emotions starting to stagnate. I was suppressing 00:02:30.180 --> 00:02:33.060 grief and anxiety and this would create blocks 00:02:33.060 --> 00:02:36.199 in relationships and most importantly with my 00:02:36.199 --> 00:02:39.560 self -growth. A true spiritual practice is when 00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:43.099 I feel and process those emotions and give my 00:02:43.099 --> 00:02:46.280 body and my energy and my emotions a chance to 00:02:46.280 --> 00:02:48.939 integrate. I'm not ignoring and I'm not glossing 00:02:48.719 --> 00:02:51.439 over the situation or just letting something 00:02:51.439 --> 00:02:54.280 roll off my back. That was a form of escaping. 00:02:55.069 --> 00:02:57.710 avoidance not having to deal with those emotions. 00:02:58.009 --> 00:03:00.129 If you're on a spiritual journey and I suspect 00:03:00.129 --> 00:03:01.750 you are if you're listening to this you might 00:03:01.750 --> 00:03:04.129 be finding some similar patterns that you have 00:03:04.129 --> 00:03:06.629 done over the years with spiritual bypassing 00:03:06.629 --> 00:03:09.250 and it's not a judgment but it's an opportunity 00:03:09.250 --> 00:03:11.229 that once you're aware of it and having that 00:03:11.229 --> 00:03:13.509 self -awareness it's a great opportunity to do 00:03:13.509 --> 00:03:15.669 some growth and some healing. Now I've been working 00:03:15.669 --> 00:03:19.250 with energy for 24 years and even with my knowledge 00:03:19.250 --> 00:03:22.169 and my experience I still find myself getting 00:03:22.169 --> 00:03:24.500 caught in the trap of not always speaking my 00:03:24.500 --> 00:03:26.960 voice. Over the years when I haven't spoken up 00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:29.139 to people or I felt like my feelings were going 00:03:29.139 --> 00:03:31.400 to be invalidated or I knew my feelings were 00:03:31.400 --> 00:03:33.719 going to be invalidated, I would stuff my emotions 00:03:33.719 --> 00:03:36.419 down which would cause gut problems. I would 00:03:36.419 --> 00:03:38.939 hold back my voice which caused problems with 00:03:38.939 --> 00:03:42.300 my thyroid also resulted in my grinding my teeth. 00:03:42.419 --> 00:03:45.039 The energy had to go someplace and what's so 00:03:45.039 --> 00:03:47.580 cool is our physical body will give us some cues 00:03:47.580 --> 00:03:51.219 on some areas that could use some work. Integration 00:03:51.219 --> 00:03:54.860 helps clear some space for true spiritual growth. 00:03:55.300 --> 00:03:57.819 The shadow work that has to be done could be 00:03:57.819 --> 00:04:00.860 subconscious fears, could be energy from another 00:04:00.860 --> 00:04:03.460 lifetime, this lifetime. It really doesn't matter. 00:04:03.620 --> 00:04:06.960 It's about taking the time to feel those emotions. 00:04:07.199 --> 00:04:10.539 Get the support that is necessary whether a medical 00:04:10.539 --> 00:04:12.939 or mental health professional or having a great 00:04:12.939 --> 00:04:15.819 support team behind you is really important. 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:18.879 I know that having a couple of really close people 00:04:18.879 --> 00:04:21.500 in my life made a huge difference when I was 00:04:21.500 --> 00:04:24.720 having a difficult time. Over the holidays I 00:04:24.720 --> 00:04:27.500 had a lot of grief and anger that came to the 00:04:27.500 --> 00:04:30.100 surface because the memories were being triggered 00:04:30.100 --> 00:04:32.579 because I don't like feeling those feelings. 00:04:32.600 --> 00:04:35.699 By nature I feel I'm an optimistic positive person. 00:04:35.720 --> 00:04:39.139 If I don't deal with them it's just gonna create 00:04:39.139 --> 00:04:42.939 more restriction in my life. I want to develop 00:04:42.939 --> 00:04:45.399 a greater connection with my guidance team and 00:04:45.399 --> 00:04:47.939 with source energy. Then what I find happens 00:04:47.939 --> 00:04:50.199 is whether it's having a lot of anger and taking 00:04:50.199 --> 00:04:52.790 it out on a pillow a lot of of crying, then there's 00:04:52.790 --> 00:04:55.550 usually for me a period of feeling lonely because 00:04:55.550 --> 00:04:58.629 it's an integration period. Some practical tools 00:04:58.629 --> 00:05:01.350 that I like to use. Number one, journaling, getting 00:05:01.350 --> 00:05:03.649 the thoughts and emotions onto paper, especially 00:05:03.649 --> 00:05:05.930 when it's regarding people that I no longer have 00:05:05.930 --> 00:05:08.709 contact with. Burning the paper helps too to 00:05:08.709 --> 00:05:11.209 transmute or transform that energy. Breath work 00:05:11.209 --> 00:05:13.689 is very helpful. Brings me back into the present 00:05:13.689 --> 00:05:15.949 moment. I'm not caught up in the past or the 00:05:15.949 --> 00:05:19.250 future with anxiety or fears. Walking in nature, 00:05:19.509 --> 00:05:22.370 observing the trees, the birds, the water. Being 00:05:22.370 --> 00:05:25.389 in that present moment, Mother Nature is designed 00:05:25.389 --> 00:05:29.250 to help us get back into balance. Grounding practices, 00:05:29.290 --> 00:05:31.310 getting my feet on the ground, whether it's on 00:05:31.310 --> 00:05:34.410 the beach or in the grass, imagining that what 00:05:34.410 --> 00:05:36.509 needs to be released is being released down to 00:05:36.509 --> 00:05:38.209 Mother Earth who will transmit those energies 00:05:38.209 --> 00:05:41.829 for me. The other day my guides gave me a really 00:05:41.829 --> 00:05:44.930 cool imagery of a volcano and they were talking 00:05:44.930 --> 00:05:47.930 about the fact that Yellowstone is created out 00:05:47.930 --> 00:05:50.980 of a volcano that erupted over 60 thousand years 00:05:50.980 --> 00:05:53.459 ago and is still considered active. The lava 00:05:53.459 --> 00:05:56.279 came to the surface and then when it cooled there 00:05:56.279 --> 00:05:59.339 was great growth that occurred. An ecosystem 00:05:59.339 --> 00:06:03.360 was developed. Amazing wildlife, trees, beauty 00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:07.259 that was a result of the lava coming to the surface 00:06:07.259 --> 00:06:09.620 and once it's cooled. Now I'm not saying that 00:06:09.620 --> 00:06:11.459 your emotions need to come to the surface like 00:06:11.459 --> 00:06:13.879 hot lava. Maybe it does. Sometimes it does for 00:06:13.879 --> 00:06:17.199 me. Allowing those emotions to come to the surface 00:06:17.199 --> 00:06:21.480 it creates space for For me to then connect with 00:06:21.480 --> 00:06:24.519 my intuition and my guidance and the clarity 00:06:24.519 --> 00:06:27.060 with my higher self. Being gentle and patient 00:06:27.060 --> 00:06:30.199 with myself is also really important. I try to 00:06:30.199 --> 00:06:33.620 remember to parent myself to be the parent I 00:06:33.620 --> 00:06:37.259 wish I'd had when I was a child and to send myself 00:06:37.259 --> 00:06:40.240 the love that I wish I'd had received and the 00:06:40.240 --> 00:06:42.980 support and the understanding that also can be 00:06:42.980 --> 00:06:45.759 very helpful when I'm feeling those loneliness 00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:49.339 periods with the integration. to connect with 00:06:49.339 --> 00:06:51.639 my guides and my angels. I want to receive that 00:06:51.639 --> 00:06:53.699 clarity and I know there's going to be moments 00:06:53.699 --> 00:06:55.699 during my healing journey where it's going to 00:06:55.699 --> 00:06:58.620 be a few days or it might be a couple weeks where 00:06:58.620 --> 00:07:02.100 I just feel off and during those periods of time 00:07:02.100 --> 00:07:04.660 I feel like it's never going to get better. It 00:07:04.660 --> 00:07:07.040 just feels like it's never going to end but it 00:07:07.040 --> 00:07:09.740 always does and there's always a still small 00:07:09.740 --> 00:07:12.800 voice in me that is observing and I believe that's 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:16.180 my higher self reminding me that this isn't real. 00:07:16.319 --> 00:07:18.069 Do you have any areas of your life life that 00:07:18.069 --> 00:07:21.129 you feel that you're doing any spiritual bypassing 00:07:21.129 --> 00:07:23.310 would love to hear about it in the comments section 00:07:23.310 --> 00:07:25.810 and let's have a conversation about that. I do 00:07:25.810 --> 00:07:28.990 respond to all the comments. Thank you so much 00:07:28.990 --> 00:07:32.170 for watching this video. I appreciate you. See 00:07:32.170 --> 00:07:32.850 you next time.