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I remember something happening, but sometimes I want to say that it didn't happen, but the only thing I do remember

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Is seeing my grandfather and my aunt made a both rest in peace. Are you saying that you went to heaven?

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All I had's got Yankee signs, Nike checks on all her kicks

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She don't never take no line, except the 1-2-4-5-6

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Said she live in Marble Hill, but she chill at Palombe

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No hellos or how you feels, all her friends say get low-key

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Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made

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Ey que lo que! Welcome to Bronx Girl at Heart, a space where we explore harsh truths about growing up in our 20s

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and show love to our past while looking towards our future. My name is Bronx Girl at Heart, aka Alana's.

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Welcome to episode 9! Thank you guys for joining us once again.

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As a little heads up, we have a guest here, which I'm going to announce in a second, and we have another guest

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who's a young friend of ours. It's one of my friends from high school, Son is over here, LR is on babysitter duty

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so don't mind the background noises and the little giggles that you may hear here and there.

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But our guest for the day is actually someone that I've known for a while, so I'll wait for him to introduce himself in a little bit

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but we're going to have a very fun conversation about being young and in love everybody, so get into your, get into your feels.

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It's going to be a good one. A few reminders before we really get started.

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Please remember to follow our podcast Instagram account at Bronx Girl at Heart podcast

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and if you enjoy the podcast today, please leave a comment in the rating and review section of Apple Podcasts

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and leave a reply in the Q&A section of Spotify.

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So today with our lovely guest, who I will let introduce himself in a moment, we will talk about being young and in love

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so get ready to get in your feels guys, but it's going to be a good one.

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And a few reminders before we really get started.

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Please remember to follow our podcast Instagram account at Bronx Girl at Heart podcast

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and if you enjoy the podcast today, please leave a comment in the rating and review section of Apple Podcasts

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and leave a reply in the Q&A section of Spotify as well. Thank you.

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So as we typically do around this time, we will start with the sound off.

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So LR sent me a few sound off topics for me to just go off on so I'll just quickly go through them.

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One of them is, it's Gemini season. Reflect on the Geminis in your life.

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The Geminis, okay, I have an experience with one Gemini in college who he was,

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basically he had, I, you know, we were talking, I guess we had a little situationship,

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but he had best friends as in female best friends everywhere.

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And he had one major best friend that they got matching tattoos, they would go on friendship dates.

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And I was just like, is this your friend or someone that you're hooking up with?

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And come to find out it was more friends just like this, like he would go over to their house

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and console them. He just had too many friends and I didn't like that. So we had to cut him off.

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So I don't know, from my impression, I feel like Gemini men, you know, they could be the life of the party.

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They could be a shoulder to cry on, but they might be a little too friendly for my liking, in my opinion.

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Okay, next sound off item.

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Are we settling down this summer or are we having fun? I'm not settling down this summer.

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I don't know about y'all. Like, I don't know if y'all saw what Young Miami put on Instagram,

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but it is an act bad summer and I am following through. I'm not tied down yet.

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And I'm probably not going to be anytime soon. So we acting bad this summer and we having fun.

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Let's see another topic. Ice Spice and Taylor Swift collab. How do we feel about this?

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So I just found out about the Ice Spice and Taylor Swift collab today. I haven't even listened to it yet.

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Our producer LR says it's trash, so I'll let him be the judge of that. I don't believe it could be fully trashed

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because, you know, I love our girl Ice Spice and I think she has great taste. But aside from

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the music, obviously there are benefits to making a song with Taylor Swift.

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So I'm assuming if the quality of the song isn't there, there probably will be other benefits for Ice Spice

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and even Taylor Swift. Obviously it's always a good opportunity for a major pop girlie to tap into urban culture

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and same thing with a young, budding rapper. However, I did see some tea about Taylor Swift's

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boyfriend or whatever their relationship status is. Apparently, Matt Healy, he's like from the band 1975

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and he was heard in a podcast and this podcast came out, I don't know if it came out, it probably

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came out like a couple years ago or last year. He was talking about ghetto gagers and watching that type of pornography

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and I did a little bit of research on ghetto gagers because obviously I don't know what the hell that is.

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Why would I know what that is? And it is a porn website where they show black women and women of color

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being brutalized for men's sexual pleasure and this is Taylor Swift's man? I don't know how I feel about that.

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And there's also been stories and people have quoted him referring to Ice Spice with,

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I have to pull up the quote, but he referred to Ice Spice as something with a slur. People are saying

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there's racial innuendos with the way he referred to her and I cannot believe this is your man.

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Taylor, what is going on? Why would you be with somebody? I actually found the quote. So I'm reading

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this from insider.com and it says, this was in the Freelance podcast. Healy and the host made fun of

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rapper Ice Spice and tried to guess her ethnicity, calling her one of the Inuit Spice Girls, a chubby

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Chinese lady and a fucking Eskimo. Ah, huh? Now it is important to note that in April, Healy offered

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an apology to Ice Spice and said he doesn't want the rapper to think I'm a dick. But you are a dick.

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And Taylor, Tay Tay, is this what you're cosigning? Your man is literally showing himself to be a bigot

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by watching disrespectful, disgusting porn and talking about it on a podcast, talking about it.

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And then he's talking about a girl that he doesn't even know. He's guessing her race and relating her

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to a chubby Chinese lady and a fucking Eskimo. What's wrong with what's wrong with being an Eskimo?

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Like, what the fuck? Do you even know about that community? I don't know. He just sounds like

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another ignorant white man to me. And Taylor, this doesn't look good on you either. Um, I don't know.

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Like, do we feel like this is a reflection on Taylor? Like, I don't think women should be

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I don't think women should be responsible for their men's behavior, but you are responsible for who you

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choose to date. And now you're doing a collab with Ice Spice, but your man your man has said these

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awful things about her. What are you going to do? I don't even know if Taylor has responded about

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this, but we're waiting sis. So those are all of my thoughts in today's soundoff. Um, please let

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me know what you guys think about any of the topics I spoke about today. You know, leave a review,

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leave a comment and on Spotify, Apple, all that. Now we can finally introduce our guests. Hi,

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Yusuf. Hey, Alana. So I would love to know what borough you're from and tell tell the audience a

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little bit about yourself as well as share your social media accounts. My name is Yusuf Ali. Um,

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I'm born and raised in Flatbush, Brooklyn. My social is al underscore goal. Al goal.

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It means the demon in Arabic. Um, but uh, yeah, that's pretty much it for now. Okay, cool. Really

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good to know. And I've known you for a while. There's been a few guests on this podcast. I

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think I should call this the high school, the high school reunion show at this point, but there's

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been a few guests on this podcast from my high school years and you are now added to that list

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as well. Yeah. So it's really exciting. And something that intrigues me about you is that,

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well, you, you talked about this when we were talking before the show as to how your personality

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has changed a great deal since high school. So I'm not going to speak too much about it.

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I'll let you speak about it. How would you describe yourself in high school?

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Personally, in retrospect, I was an asshole. Like, like, um, uh, probably because like,

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I knew like in high school, I was a lot heavier and I knew that nine times out of 10, I would be the

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easiest one to pick on. So what I did was I stayed the obvious, I took pride in how big I was and

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I'll crack the jokes first. So as in heavy, like just for the audience to get a picture. So I was

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484 pounds in high school. Um, uh, yeah. So I was a size 58 waist and nine times out of 10,

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I'd probably be easy prey to bullying. And also I just don't like bullies at all. So I thought of

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it as like, maybe if I was the funny fat guy, no one would bother me. So like I'd say like some

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walkie shit, like, I remember there was this one kid, um, he was new, he didn't really last that

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much in journalism, but um, he pulled up and he was in the school for like three weeks. And uh,

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he was like, Oh, yeah, I really talked to this fat, you know, and you know, oh, like, yeah,

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really laugh at this fat dude. And uh, what you call it, this is where I fucked up actually.

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I know I'm fat. I have a mirror. You have a father where your father's at? Oh my God.

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Turns out he was adopted. Oh, so I felt bad. So like, how did you learn he was adopted? Uh,

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we had a teacher by the name of Ms. D'Souza. She pulled me to the side. She was like, Yousef,

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you can't say that. He's actually adopted. I was like, Ooh, my bad. I went in, I was like,

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I'm sorry, bro. You know, and then, you know, I, I apologize. He laughed it off. I know he was

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hurting inside, but you know, I mean, like with all the respect, you know, beginning to meet someone

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for the first time, you don't go bashing them. So, you know, like relatively in high school,

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I was a person that like, I didn't mess with people, but I had an answer ready. But like,

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so what I would, why I saw myself as an asshole was, I just, I just didn't know when to stop.

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I didn't know how to different differentiate between the time to be serious and time to be

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joking around. And I guess it was probably just a coping mechanism or, you know, coping mechanism

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slash defense mechanism, you know, with my upbringing and what I've been through in life.

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That's pretty much why I describe myself as an asshole. Now, it's interesting to say you

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didn't like bullies, but don't you feel like in certain moments you may be perceived as a bully?

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Exactly my point, which is why I define myself as an asshole because where I thought I was

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defending myself, I was just being a bully myself, which made me a hypocrite. And if it's something

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I hate, it's a hypocrite. Yeah. And what made you realize this? I don't honestly like, because it

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takes a lot of self awareness to, usually I feel like people wouldn't notice this until it smacks

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them in the face somehow. Yeah. No, it didn't smack me in the face at all. Actually. I just like,

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I just like, as you know, as my previous name was user from the deli in high school, I used to work

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at a 24 hour deli with my family business and I would do night shifts. And when it's night shifts

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in Park Slope, Brooklyn, you don't want, other than the crack heads that come in and out every

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now and then, because Park Slope Brooklyn at night is not Park Slope. I believe that. Yeah. Park

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Slope at night is Park Slope how it was in the seventies. Yeah. I remember I would, I mean,

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you would be on that, like the main strip of like where our school was at and it would be completely

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safe, but then you'll turn a corner and I'm like, Oh, I don't think this is Park Slope anymore. Let

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me go back. So like, I got a lot of old heads that were like, they get like quote unquote, the OGs

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of the seventies and the eighties and they'll come, Oh, when I was your age, this, when I was, you

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know, so now that they're old and frail, they won't do anything, but the people they were around

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would still be there. So like nine times it was, it was pretty bad. It was pretty rough in the

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nighttime. But other than that, all I had was time to reflect on myself and my behaviors, you know?

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And when all you have is time to reflect on your behavior, it's either you choose to replicate

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behaviors or you break them. What was that time? Did something stop for you where you had a lot of

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space to think? So because I was always working 12 hour shifts, it took a toll on my academia.

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It took it because although I was passing my exams, I didn't have enough instruction hours.

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So I had like 36 credits by the time I was, you know, like by the time I was ready to graduate,

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you know, senior year and I was going to get held back. I had all my regions above 80.

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I passed, you know, the only one that I had like a 75 in geometry. And I had all the exams. I did

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well on my SATs, did well on my AP exams, but I didn't have the class credits. And I was like,

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all of this, I'm still a failure. That's how I viewed it. And whenever I asked for help and,

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you know, I don't know if the high school was mentioned before, but I will mention,

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I won't give that high school power over me. But growing, you know, that high school, I felt like,

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I mean, again, I was working, I chose work. However, it's New York, you need to make a

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buck somehow, you know, especially in like, in a minority, I'm from an Arab household and like,

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we view it as your man once you're nine, my first job, I was nine years old. So like,

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like, so I had to support myself somehow. So I was working. And like, I came to peace with it.

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However, again, the academia took a toll. And I had this arrogant outlook on life. Like I know,

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like I was hot shit, turns out it was just shit. Basically, because yes, I was quote unquote

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intelligent, or in the words of some teachers, 99.9 or sometimes they'll say the gift of gab.

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I wasn't able to apply myself because I was always tired from working a 12 hour shift.

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And I'd be late, I'd probably show up by my third period, latest. And that's two periods of

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instruction time. So I was like, that, that was level one of like the realization like, yo,

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yeah, you crack jokes. Yeah, you're one of the funny guys in the school. But they're all going

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to four year colleges, whereas you're probably going to be right back here next year. You know,

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and that that was level one. Level two. When I wasn't going to prom, I didn't go to the senior

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trip, didn't go to prom, I wasn't going to go to prom, actually. But that's more about the love

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story. That we'll get back to that soon. Because I did end up going to prom, but for a special

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someone. But yeah, so like, that was another one. Level three, I just noticed that like life goes on.

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And if I want to enjoy the best out of life, it's up to me, no one else, no one's going to

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do the work but you. So I had to reflect on myself, see what behaviors I wanted to change.

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And that's how it started. There's a lot more to it, though. Yeah. And in regards to our conversation,

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later on, it has a lot to do with it as well. Yeah. And what Yusef is hinting at is what we'll talk

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about, which is being in love at a young age and what love can do for your life. And he's been in

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a relationship that I've seen him be very public about in recent years, and I'm intrigued about it.

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So we're going to talk about that. Because I know we talked about Hot Girl Summer acting bad, like I

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said, you know, but I still believe that true love exists. You know, so I think stories like this are

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great for us to put out there. Going back to what you were talking about, which about being Arab,

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and being considered a man at nine. Did you express to your family the academic struggles

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that you were having and what was their response? They expected me to work with it. They said, hey,

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and like, which is another topic trait about some Arab households, like, hey, this kid's doing this,

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this, this, this, you should be doing the same thing. Which is pretty much the same in Latino

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households. Nine times out of 10, they're going to be like, oh, but I'll meet up to primo, like, oh,

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look at your cousin, look at this, look at that. And you live a lot being compared and not being

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highlighted for what you are. Rather than being accepted and appreciated for what you do and what

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you are, you're compared and contrasted to what you don't. So that was the, you know, I told them,

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hey, I got it, you know, and nine times out of 10, they were very hard on me. They were like, hey,

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you can't be doing these kinds of grades. You got to work on, I was like, how do you guys want me to

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work? And Excel, my first class is at 8.15. Yeah. I'm at a deli at 3 a.m. That's almost, that's,

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you know, and they're like, oh, make it work. And then I'm like, all right, then I'm going to leave

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the deli. And then they're like, you better find a job. And I'm like, all right, whatever. So

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they respond, you know, like my mom, of course, she was very, like, she was a little more lenient,

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but the very next day she'll ask for a certain amount of money. And I'm not bagging on my parents.

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I love them. And, you know, like they've they helped me a lot. They've given me a lot,

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but they've also taught me a lot, both negative and positive. And like, which is why I'm at

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the space I'm in now, which I'm pretty proud of, you know, but like,

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and I'm using a lot of filler words. However, when it comes to like their response,

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they weren't as accepting. They were very, oh, everybody has to work. This is America.

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That's the American dream. There's no white picket fence. It's you work, you work, work, work, work,

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and that's it. I mean, working in the deli, I was working 70 hours a week,

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no social life at all. I literally went from home, work, school, home, work, school.

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I'd hang out with a few friends after school for like, what, 20, 30 minutes?

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Probably by Smiley's Pizza or Tex-Mex. You know, Tex-Mex, we have so many memories at Tex-Mex.

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You know, I'll go chill at the Barnes and Noble, read a couple of mangas,

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and then I'd have to go to work. That's it. What do you think that did to your development,

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being a teenager and just working, getting so few hours of sleep and constantly being compared to

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other kids? Do you feel like that affected how you are socially now?

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Not socially, because being in a business, I was surrounded by mostly adults. Most of my customers

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were adults. Most of my customers were my teachers coming in drunk, buying six packs.

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I knew them as customers before they knew me as a student. Some of them lived in the area, so

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it was kind of a shock. Not a shock, but it was an interesting dynamic because I was always told I

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was growing up too smart for my own good or too mature for my age. That's something I also hated

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hearing, too smart for your own good. I hear it a lot. I guess when it comes to the effect socially,

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now that I'm a little older, I can understand why they said I was too smart for my own good,

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because there were some things that as a child you just shouldn't understand, yet you should learn

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later in life. It's sad, but you know, hard truth. Personally, that's what I think. There are some

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things that you should learn later in life, not as a child. You know?

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100 percent.

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100 percent. Facts. That's what I'm saying. So, socially, it did well, actually. I was able to

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speak on things that most kids my age wouldn't be able to speak on. I was able to get political

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and still remain, you know, like still keep my composure. I was able to speak intellectually

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with college professors, doctors even, most of my customers. And like some of them were, and this is

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like an, again, during the day it's a higher end of Park Slope. During the night it's not so much.

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So, the daytime customers, they were like, you know, very nine to five doctors, lawyers. I was

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able to chop it up, talk to them about random things. I was able to co-switch a lot. And then

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I was able to go right back to school and just talk about stupid shit. Rap battle with Tyreke

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and Khalil and people, you know, like a lot of people in, you know, like in school. I was able

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to be a kid. So, in high school, I guess I was able to be that ignorant child. Whereas at three

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o'clock I had to turn to a man real quick. And man in the eyes of an Arab family, you know, like

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someone who works hard and goes home. That's it. Yeah. So, yeah. I feel like it gave you a lot of

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street smarts. So, maybe in those academic hours that you lost, you gained some other education,

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which can be very valuable as well. Yes. That's, I agree. That's so interesting. And

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we can talk about that for hours. Yeah. But let's get messy now. Okay.

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Okay. We're getting to Casa Confessions. So, as a reminder for the audience and to Yusuf,

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this is where I ask four to six, around there, mild to out of pocket questions.

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And guests can opt out of a question by taking a shot of Casamicos. Usually our guests take a shot

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before us, before we start with the questions. But Yusuf will not be drinking today because he is a

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very respectful citizen or whatever. So, I'm going to take a shot before we get started.

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I will, I will pour it myself. Give me a second, guys.

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Don't ask me why I'm drinking around kids. LR is on babysitter duty, not me.

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I chased a, you know, doing you justice. The chaser, yeah. I'm sorry. I saw this girl on,

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on IG today. She was like, she was like, we chase dreams, not drinks, ho. And I'm like,

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all right, I'm not at your level yet. I'm sorry. So, let's get started for Casa Confessions. Now

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that I'm warm and toasty. My first question to you is, what's the freakiest thing you've done

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with your current girlfriend? Amor. I'm sorry. I've made it my mission that every family house

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of hers that we visit, I get a nut. So, there are houses in, out of, across seats, overseas,

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in the US borders, like there are houses that has a trace of Yusef somewhere. Oh, Lord. A couple

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cookies here and there, you know. That's one. And I guess probably the Brooklyn Bridge Park bathroom.

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That's it. We're pretty calm. And Brooklyn Bridge Park bathroom, is that even a good

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like public bathroom? It is actually. I don't know where it is. You know, like right by the,

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like, all right, so this is the pier, this is the ferry. And like there's like this little

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bougie little bar slash restaurant type shit. So that bathroom, that one, the, the woman's bathroom

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specifically. So it was like spacious and clean. Very. Handicapped. Handicapped stall. So if you

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were crippled, you had to wait. If anyone has been to the Brooklyn Bridge Park public bathroom

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recently, the handicapped bathroom or the disabled, I'm sorry, I'm not sure which,

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whichever is the correct term. If anyone has been in that bathroom, just know that you probably been

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inhaling some of some of Yusef's body fluids. I mean, honestly, and probably a lot of people's

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body fluids, like it's a public bathroom. So, and damn, every family member's house that you guys

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visited? Most of them. Oh my God. We actually had makeup sex in one of their houses. Like we had a

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whole argument during the vacation and then was like, you know what? I love you. I love you too.

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You toxic bitch. And then we just went at it. Couples are nasty. As a big boy, what can you do

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sexually that skinny boys can't? I wouldn't say like, I mean, I wouldn't say anything like, I mean,

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as a big boy, I guess I'm a giver, you know, like. What do you mean as a big boy, you're a giver?

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As a big boy, I'm a giver. So like, I guess like, all right, since we getting saucy.

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I feel kind of Lingus. Eating the cooch. Like I'm a lot more generous with that. I'm a munch.

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But you, okay. Exactly. There's no other, there's nothing that I don't do that skinny guys don't do.

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So you think big boys are, they're more, they're eaters is what you're saying? In all aspects.

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In all aspects. Makes sense. And if you say no, you will fucking lie. Makes sense. Yeah.

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What's the sexiest thing about you, Yusuf?

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It would be rather narcissistic to say myself. Everything about you. I'll just say. That's not

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narcissistic. If that's how you feel, that's how you feel. I'll just say what I heard Sherry tell

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me. She said the sexiest thing about me is when I don't have it low trimmed, my beard and my eyes,

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I guess that's it. So when you have your beard a little fluffier and your eyes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

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Name a celebrity you would cheat on your girlfriend with if she gave you a hall pass.

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2019 Doja Cat.

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So that was thick Doja. Thick Doja. That was before the. Keep it juicy, juicy, like thick.

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Before the psychosis Doja. Yeah. Before the shaved eyebrows. Even though she's been. She's

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still slaying. Serving. Serving. Like for real. Can I say that word? Serving what? I don't know.

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Cunt. Yeah. That's fine. Like. Ally. Yeah. If you're like. If you're saying in a gay positive way.

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Like cunty. Big purr. Yes. Exactly. No pun intended. I just noticed Doja Cat purr. Okay. Yeah.

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But yeah. 2019 Doja Cat for a fact. Okay. And is your girlfriend aware of this? Yes. We've had

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this conversation many times. So she's not going to beat your ass after this? No. I know for a fact

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she would fold like origami for fucking Bad Bunny. And that's a handsome man. I can admit it.

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How do you feel knowing this? That at the drop of a hat. If your girlfriend had the opportunity

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she would fuck Bad Bunny. Shut up. Like honestly. I'll drop. For Doja Cat. 2019 Doja Cat. Same shit.

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Same shit. Fold. So hall passes are a real thing. Now hold on. I am a straight male.

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However Bad Bunny is a handsome man. Yeah. She has two hall passes. Actually her second hall

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pass is Bretman Rock. Bretman Rock? Yeah. Even though he's gay. I don't even think he goes that

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way. So you're fine. Exactly. Right. Fags. I'm safe. Okay. I was going to be racist. Please go ahead.

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LR is about to be racist. I think she was going to say Romeo Sanfiel said about what?

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No. Hold on. Hold on. You ought to something. We went to Madame Tussauds once

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and she went to the wax figure of Romeo Santos and she was a little too friendly.

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I'm going to take her ass again just to go to Megan. Oh Megan Thee Stallion. That was my second

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hall pass. Okay. Megan Thee Stallion. I see a common thread in these choices. Okay. Very much

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though. A lot of ass. Claro que si. Well you made it through Casa Confessions. Our next segment is

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show and tell. So this is where we have our guests share a skill or interest that they have. Guests

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can also perform, demonstrate something, tell a story or you can share a cool memory with your

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girlfriend. Can I do both? Of course. Do it all. Okay. So like personally those of you who know me

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in high school I like to do impressions and voices. Yes I do remember you doing that. Yeah and that's

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another thing that I regret. Like I regret because some of them were obnoxious. Very obnoxious. Okay.

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But hey when it comes to the art of acting sometimes you got to be you know you got to ruffle

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some feathers you know. I always wanted to get into voice acting. It's one of my biggest fantasies.

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If I was able to break any type of barrier when it comes to my family it would be to, which I

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already did, leave the deli business of course but leave a job and just do what I love which is voice

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like voices. Yeah. There would be times where okay so this is I guess this should be a performance.

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There'll be times where schools will call my house to say that I missed first second and third period

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and I would just do a random accent just to throw them off. It'll be um I can't say the name. Can I

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say the name? Who is the person? What's the role? Parent coordinator same red wig since freshman year.

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She would call me yeah hi hello this is uh miss something something from from journalism and I'm

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not just you know I wanted to talk because uh Yusef hasn't come in for class and I just wanted to

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speak to the parents. Is this Mr. Al-Kabani's parents? And I would say no hello this is D.Va.

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Dmitri Voskinov and you know I would just talk with a random Russian accent. I would speak with

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Russian accent or I would just talk like this and just be you know a random white lady and I would

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just completely change the voice or my favorite was able to talk like this because you can't really

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pinpoint. I can be Southeast Asian. I can be Indian. I can be Pakistani. I can be Bengali.

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So my Bengali friends I love you. Please I know you got beef with them. I love y'all.

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But like no like I would just change the voice or um I would first of all class for those accents

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because that was so good especially I don't know the the valley white man. Oh I think you did that

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one. That's my favorite one. That was like a white man accent that you did right? No the white man is

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very different. The white man is like there's different there's um. I thought you did a gay

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white man earlier. No this is more like valley girl. I mean if it gives my voice is a lot deeper

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since being uh intubated. We'll get into that later. Yes. Um which is uh but like uh so

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that used to be a valley girl because most of my customers at night would be like drunk white ladies

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after the old heads would go home like around this like around 3 4 a.m. people are coming to

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their senses. They're sobering up. White girl wasted so one would put it so they'd be like yeah

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can I please get and they'd have the weirdest deli requests. Oh no what's a white girl a drunk white

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girl's deli request. Let me get toasted on rye deli mustard just say brown mustard you fucking

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uncultured swine. Deli mustard I want turkey salami peanut butter with pickles. No way. Lots

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and lots of pickles and I'm like okay. Turkey salami mustard and pickles. Turkey salami mustard

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peanut butter and pickles. That's disgusting. Very much so uh but uh no so like so I was able

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to like replicate those voices. I would just take voices I would hear at work and take them to school

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or take them home. Yeah. And one of my biggest inspirations Robin Williams may he rest in peace.

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I remember when he offed himself I locked myself in a room didn't speak to nobody. Not offed himself.

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Rest in peace to Robin Williams. Rest in peace like it broke my heart like he's a huge inspiration.

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He's the first person that did something arab based that we weren't terrorists you know.

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His work as the genie he actually did research like the concept of salaam which means peace.

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So it was pretty nice. It's not the perfect representation but I'd rather that than some

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you know like someone drinking alcohol during Ramadan like that's like you know. Yeah. Or

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Netflix's obsession with calling the hijab oppression. A hijab a what? The hijab. So in

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every Netflix movie where it's a Muslim girl it's always her taking off her hijab and like

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you know popping out with some random white guy that's a jock. I'm like yo that's not freedom

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you know. Oh they act like she was somehow imprisoned by her hijab. Exactly when it's

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no different than a nun. Yeah. You know but enough with the touchy subjects like that you know I

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don't want I want this to stay on Spotify. No let's get into the touchy subjects. Let's get into it.

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But yeah so I've noticed that I've noticed that when it comes to like certain some

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some certain types of representation and Robin Williams did great for me as a child. I love

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I love the original Adam. I love it to this day. That's awesome. When it comes to voice acting

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Robin Williams is a huge inspiration. Amazing and we loved your impressions. So now we're going to

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move on to our main topic which is about being young and in love. You talked a little bit about

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your girlfriend. I want to know what was your perspective on love before your current relationship

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versus now. Didn't believe in it. Wow. I thought I'd be shipped off to a although we don't do like

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not we don't all do arranged marriages. So people when people think of the concept of arranged

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marriages they immediately think from birth. That's could mean in some and this is going to sound

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pretty uh fucked up but from the poorer classes because most of the Middle East runs on social

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class. All right and again in retrospect Yemen like we like not all like so we run on social classes.

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One could be a hillbilly. One could be a prince. At the end of the day I still you know like we

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we're very big on reputation and social class. I don't see the difference. Some people do.

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So if you're like poor and you're going through it you'll have an arranged marriage with a agreed

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upon dowry. There's a lot to it and you know so I thought I was going to just end up with like

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a girl of my mother's choosing like oh habibi come try her she's very good for you go ahead

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you know she's pretty blah blah blah she'll cook for you. That's what I thought I'd end up with.

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I thought I end up with a run of the mill Middle Eastern woman not necessarily Yemeni you know but

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like I just thought I'd have it given to me and I didn't like that concept actually as much as I

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thought that that would happen which happens to most of us. I just didn't like that concept. I was

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like if I can't choose the woman I love how can I choose anything serious in life because love is

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this is going to sound corny but love is integral to one's life.

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Love is very integral and if you can't choose the one you love how can you choose the things you hate

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the things you don't like the things you you know if you can't choose what you love you can't choose

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the things you don't love. Yeah well I don't really I guess the most I know about arranged marriage is

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what my Indian friends have told me and what I've seen on TV however I do know that there's this

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concept that love can grow so maybe you can start off as strangers but love is isn't just a feeling

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right it's in my opinion it's rooted in commitment and action. Yes. So in that sense love can be

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created and built between two people as well. Yeah you can learn to love I do agree because my mother

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and father that was an arranged marriage okay they learned to love each other but we also have to

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consider the aspects of the different generations that came before us so before they couldn't be

364
00:37:50,020 --> 00:37:54,020
independent women or bad bitches would have hot you know hot girls summers and just go on Tinder

365
00:37:54,980 --> 00:38:01,620
you know keep swiping. Can't relate. You know right but this is like let's say circa 1983 to

366
00:38:01,620 --> 00:38:06,180
the 90s yeah right to the early 90s they could you know they didn't have that you know it was

367
00:38:06,180 --> 00:38:11,460
a lot harder to cheat yes a lot harder to cheat you'd be surprised and so like

368
00:38:14,420 --> 00:38:19,780
it was a lot easier for them to learn to love someone because you truly did accept their flaws

369
00:38:19,780 --> 00:38:24,740
for example and this is not between well like like just love in general like it could be between

370
00:38:24,740 --> 00:38:29,620
man and woman or just something platonic or even something family there's a reason why

371
00:38:29,620 --> 00:38:34,340
there's one deal on the barbecue that no one's allowed to go around you know. That's disgusting

372
00:38:34,340 --> 00:38:38,740
by the way. It's very disgusting but that's the con that's what I'm trying to say what I'm trying

373
00:38:38,740 --> 00:38:44,180
to say is back then that generation was taught to hey if we don't acknowledge it it's not there

374
00:38:44,180 --> 00:38:50,660
so like that generation was taught to not acknowledge things and I guess it wouldn't be there

375
00:38:51,460 --> 00:38:57,460
um a lot of women probably went through and this is not me this is just me speaking in a general

376
00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:03,540
sense not like all women but a lot of women back then would probably be like to this day some people

377
00:39:03,540 --> 00:39:09,460
are some women are victims of domestic abuse but they're like oh he loves me you know they're taught

378
00:39:09,460 --> 00:39:16,900
to deal with it be you know be what they conceive as a woman what they perceive as a woman that's

379
00:39:16,900 --> 00:39:23,220
what I'm looking for so I guess although we're taught to you know you can learn to love I've

380
00:39:23,220 --> 00:39:28,100
seen it happen between my mother and father but there's a lot of arranged marriages that I'll see

381
00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:33,460
like oh yeah she wasn't my first option the fact that you can say that out loud in front of her

382
00:39:33,460 --> 00:39:39,940
I'm like yeah if I was to say that's sherry I'll get slapped yeah and I'm like oh you

383
00:39:39,940 --> 00:39:45,220
motherfucker you was my first option you know to you love was important for you to choose

384
00:39:45,220 --> 00:39:48,020
and that's fair because I feel like that's the way it is for a lot of people

385
00:39:50,260 --> 00:39:57,300
do you feel like your religion and your political beliefs or your family history

386
00:39:58,100 --> 00:40:02,900
has impacted your relationship I guess now this might be a good point to mention that you are

387
00:40:02,900 --> 00:40:08,740
actually in an intercultural relationship so I guess in your response you can tie it as well I

388
00:40:08,740 --> 00:40:15,860
guess yeah in um interracial interfaith yes and in your response you can talk about all of that

389
00:40:15,860 --> 00:40:20,580
and what the different backgrounds in your relationship are and if there's ever been any

390
00:40:21,620 --> 00:40:27,460
any conflicts when it comes to blending those there's been a lot and let me just preface this

391
00:40:27,460 --> 00:40:33,220
by the secret to a good relationship is the three c's I know it sounds corny but it works for me

392
00:40:34,260 --> 00:40:39,780
communication comprehension and compromise communication means nothing without comprehension

393
00:40:39,780 --> 00:40:42,580
if you don't understand what's being communicated it's not going to be there

394
00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:48,660
compromise sometimes you got to swallow the pill if you're wrong you're wrong even when you're right

395
00:40:49,620 --> 00:40:53,540
you have to think is this argument worth being able to say like aha I won that argument but

396
00:40:53,540 --> 00:40:57,780
she's not there in your life no more if you really love shorty or if you really love the dude

397
00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:07,380
you'd swallow that pill so those are the three c's and I know my side of the family for a fact

398
00:41:07,380 --> 00:41:12,420
has given a lot of conflict because I'll be honest she doesn't come to my house as much

399
00:41:13,300 --> 00:41:17,220
my mom always has an excuse and I know that puts a strain because I have a safe space to get away

400
00:41:17,220 --> 00:41:22,180
from my toxic household she doesn't have a safe space to get out of hers so I'd have to take her

401
00:41:22,180 --> 00:41:26,100
out spend like mad right and I don't mind spending the bread money means nothing to me when it comes

402
00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:35,460
to her um but I guess it would be like that's one thing like also again since we're so reputation

403
00:41:35,460 --> 00:41:40,580
based the first thing was oh like at first now my mom's a little more lenient she'll be like oh

404
00:41:40,580 --> 00:41:44,740
like when are you gonna invite her to come over so I can but it's also prefaced by wife duties oh I

405
00:41:44,740 --> 00:41:48,820
can teach you how to cook this I can teach you how to cook that but then I get that my mom is sick

406
00:41:48,820 --> 00:41:52,580
and she's like she's she's pretty sickly and she wants to make sure I'll be taken care of when she

407
00:41:52,580 --> 00:42:00,100
passes a light you know may God lengthen her life give her a very beautiful life but um no one wants

408
00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:04,260
to be invited over just to be taught how to cook that's literally saying oh I think you can't cook

409
00:42:04,260 --> 00:42:08,660
let me teach you yeah you know but that's not how my mom thinks but I know that's probably how my

410
00:42:08,660 --> 00:42:14,020
girl would perceive because no one's gonna like really you know oh why now you know it's been five

411
00:42:14,020 --> 00:42:19,700
years we've been together why now you know my mom had a lot needed a lot of time to accustomed to

412
00:42:19,700 --> 00:42:26,260
like get accustomed to it so I know for a fact my side of the family and culture kind of puts a

413
00:42:26,260 --> 00:42:31,940
strain on it because you yourself as a Dominican woman yeah you know you guys are mad and your

414
00:42:31,940 --> 00:42:39,460
girlfriend is Dominican by the way yes my girlfriend is Dominican um so like which her family has been

415
00:42:39,460 --> 00:42:45,940
nothing but welcoming I mean of course it's gonna be you know like gossiping yes you know and that's

416
00:42:45,940 --> 00:42:52,020
fine it comes with anything it can anyone would gossip you know and when I first met them again

417
00:42:52,020 --> 00:42:58,340
I was 480 plus you know they've seen me through my weight loss which I am not 250 by the way um

418
00:42:59,140 --> 00:43:04,100
most of that from 484 to 250 yeah most of it is loose skin right now I have like 30 pounds of

419
00:43:04,100 --> 00:43:09,780
loose skin once I get I'll be 220 you know and that'll be nice yeah you know the bbl is gonna be crazy

420
00:43:09,780 --> 00:43:14,100
snatched no I'm so proud of you hide your man hide your girl hide you but I'm putting them all

421
00:43:14,100 --> 00:43:20,100
back because I'm loyal but um but if I'm being honest like when it comes to the difference in

422
00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:26,260
cultures like the first like I remember being offered a beer and you know Muslims don't drink

423
00:43:26,260 --> 00:43:34,740
you know so wink wink wink wink right and um you know because I know some you know like I know some

424
00:43:34,740 --> 00:43:38,100
Muslims like yo I'm not eating pork but best believe they smoking and drinking you know yeah

425
00:43:39,140 --> 00:43:48,180
but uh it's just like so the first thing was offered to me was Bernice and a beer I said no

426
00:43:48,980 --> 00:43:54,660
and then she was like you know like oh okay well just different they weren't you know they weren't

427
00:43:54,660 --> 00:43:58,980
you know they weren't accustomed to that thanksgiving you know like they always have a chuleta

428
00:43:58,980 --> 00:44:03,060
with rice not on things even like every day to let that with rice or they'd have a big

429
00:44:03,060 --> 00:44:09,060
bernie on thanksgiving so what I do respect is the fact that they would like change their diet

430
00:44:09,620 --> 00:44:14,420
they didn't have to do that at all but they made me feel safe like going to a house where you know

431
00:44:14,420 --> 00:44:18,660
like they didn't have they didn't have to do that they started they started eating more poultry

432
00:44:18,660 --> 00:44:23,860
okay and beef and fish and that was pretty cool you know I saw the dynamic change you know because

433
00:44:23,860 --> 00:44:28,420
like my my girl herself she said she's not a big fan of pork but if she's a good bernie she's gonna

434
00:44:28,420 --> 00:44:34,900
have to fuck it up of course you know and uh and which I respect that's fine I again she's not

435
00:44:34,900 --> 00:44:40,820
Muslim she doesn't have to be which brings me to my next point um a lot of questions I do get

436
00:44:41,460 --> 00:44:45,620
when I come oh does she have to convert that was a that was the first question her mother asked me

437
00:44:46,420 --> 00:44:50,100
she said if she you know comes with you does she have to put on the hijab I said no

438
00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:54,100
she doesn't I fell in love with her without the hijab why would I force it on her now

439
00:44:54,660 --> 00:45:01,060
yeah and personally I've done soul searching myself I chose when I say I chose to stay Muslim

440
00:45:01,700 --> 00:45:06,660
I chose to say although I was born in a Muslim household I did my research I read all three

441
00:45:06,660 --> 00:45:11,220
monotheistic books in chronological order with all due respect this is gonna be a little

442
00:45:11,220 --> 00:45:18,820
hazi but that's fine if it works for you that's you but me I saw that there was science based

443
00:45:18,820 --> 00:45:25,380
in the Quran and I was like no other book has this and you didn't see science based in the

444
00:45:25,380 --> 00:45:31,540
Bible or the Torah no the Torah I didn't see science at all uh the Bible personally to me

445
00:45:31,540 --> 00:45:36,420
has been changed thousands of times different translations a lot of them got lost to translation

446
00:45:37,140 --> 00:45:43,540
however what I do believe whole like as a whole idea all three were just cousins that pray

447
00:45:43,540 --> 00:45:48,740
different I'm not a religious person to be honest but when I chose to like study it I chose to be

448
00:45:48,740 --> 00:45:56,740
Muslim I chose to study all three and I chose to say Muslim yeah and just to recap so Yusuf you are

449
00:45:56,740 --> 00:46:03,940
a Muslim man from an Arabic background Yemeni specifically and your girlfriend is Dominican

450
00:46:03,940 --> 00:46:12,580
and what is her religious background so it's pretty confusing because although they come from

451
00:46:12,580 --> 00:46:18,980
a very different family her mother went to Pentecostalism okay you know the father you know

452
00:46:18,980 --> 00:46:22,580
the she you know the skirts and everything but her mom doesn't do that she's not like as serious

453
00:46:22,580 --> 00:46:28,260
but like um you know so that's what I always found interesting because although she was very

454
00:46:28,260 --> 00:46:32,740
welcoming a lot of the people in the Pentecostal church would say some things that are kind of

455
00:46:32,740 --> 00:46:38,820
like suggestive towards Muslims and a little thing like a little like ignorant things okay

456
00:46:38,820 --> 00:46:44,340
and things that you've heard from you know they'll ask very like stupid questions like something

457
00:46:44,340 --> 00:46:49,700
that doesn't have to do with us that for some reason they assume that all Muslims are Indian

458
00:46:49,700 --> 00:46:55,620
so like they'll confuse us with Sikhs um or like they'll ask me questions that have to do with

459
00:46:55,620 --> 00:47:01,220
Judaism rather than Islam so just a general ignorance yeah general ignorance okay nine times

460
00:47:01,220 --> 00:47:09,620
out of ten it was never like very rarely I would get ignorance with intent you know like like bad

461
00:47:09,620 --> 00:47:15,780
ignorance very rarely but it has happened so like what is the worst thing that you've heard

462
00:47:16,660 --> 00:47:24,260
having to deal with your intercultural interfaith relationship on both sides I would all right so

463
00:47:24,260 --> 00:47:33,780
from my side when um I was in the ICU for about three months long story short and I'm so sorry

464
00:47:33,780 --> 00:47:40,900
by the way but yes if you can give a quick explanation um I had another awakening in high

465
00:47:40,900 --> 00:47:44,900
school towards senior year and I just wasn't happy with the person I saw in the mirror

466
00:47:45,860 --> 00:47:52,500
again 480 plus I just went on a crash diet which I was intermittent fasting for seven days a week

467
00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:59,300
and working out at the same time only having one meal a day at a seven day I dropped about 80 pounds

468
00:47:59,300 --> 00:48:04,260
within three months that is intense and everyone listening to this this is not an instruction

469
00:48:04,260 --> 00:48:11,300
please hold on do this do not do this at all I was literally declared dead twice on the table

470
00:48:12,020 --> 00:48:21,140
I do not encourage this at all please speak to a nutrition get an actual diet plan and choose

471
00:48:21,140 --> 00:48:27,860
yourself over clothes choose yourself over image it is serious because I have mental issues now

472
00:48:27,860 --> 00:48:33,620
because of this weight loss wow I this is not an instruction do you mind sharing what are some of

473
00:48:33,620 --> 00:48:37,780
the mental issues I have body dysmorphia so I don't see the use if you see right here I see high

474
00:48:37,780 --> 00:48:45,700
school use yeah I see 484 use if I see size 58 use I see second chin use it and it hits me a

475
00:48:45,700 --> 00:48:51,940
little okay it hits me a lot because like I'm a size 40 now I can wear Uniqlo yes that's great

476
00:48:51,940 --> 00:48:59,780
but at what cost you know I almost died well I did die and we'll get into that later but so

477
00:49:00,820 --> 00:49:05,540
when it comes to this I don't I don't instruct anyone get a dietitian get a nutrition plan

478
00:49:07,380 --> 00:49:14,420
explore healthier lifestyles don't do anything that I did so I what I did was very very hard

479
00:49:14,420 --> 00:49:19,060
in a fasting diet working out at the same time I was the most confusing fat person ever in the

480
00:49:19,060 --> 00:49:24,660
face I was skinny as hell but I was still round as heck like I literally looked like an engagement

481
00:49:24,660 --> 00:49:32,500
ring it was bad like don't make me laugh sorry again bad coping mechanism um the jokes um so then

482
00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:42,820
after that I did a gastric bypass I lost another 120 pounds yeah I'm I'm losing weight I'm fitting

483
00:49:42,820 --> 00:49:51,140
in clothes but I had subdermal hematomas under my stomach I was bleeding internal bleeding a lot

484
00:49:51,780 --> 00:49:57,380
I had lost so much weight and so quick like so little time my body didn't recognize what was

485
00:49:57,380 --> 00:50:03,140
happening so I guess there was a leak in the bypass I'm probably leaking this dish I didn't

486
00:50:03,140 --> 00:50:10,100
heal properly so it attacked my pancreas my liver my kidneys and my left lung so how did you get to

487
00:50:10,100 --> 00:50:17,300
the point where you died so I died a little later actually towards the first month of me being in

488
00:50:17,300 --> 00:50:23,060
the hospital wow I like I one day I woke up and it felt like I had like a huge anvil on the left

489
00:50:23,060 --> 00:50:29,540
side of my of my body so I'm thinking hey is this a stroke first thing I did was wiggle my fingers

490
00:50:29,540 --> 00:50:34,980
and smile and like move everything it wasn't a stroke it's just my left side felt heavy and I

491
00:50:34,980 --> 00:50:39,700
couldn't move I had to drag myself with my right side I was using a cane to walk on my bruh and

492
00:50:39,700 --> 00:50:46,420
like they they thought I was just being dramatic no it was bad so it turns out as the bacteria was

493
00:50:46,420 --> 00:50:52,020
attacking my left lung I had a double infectious sorry a double pneumonia and it was an infectious

494
00:50:52,020 --> 00:51:00,660
abscess and my lung my left lung was as if somebody crumpled paper that's how it was it was like that

495
00:51:00,660 --> 00:51:08,020
so long and they had to do an incision in my back and insert metal brackets the worst thing about it

496
00:51:08,020 --> 00:51:12,420
was I got the gastric bypass done at Brooklyn hospital but the clinearest emergency room was

497
00:51:12,420 --> 00:51:18,420
downstate so instead of like quickly operating or like hey oh my gosh something's wrong he's dying

498
00:51:18,420 --> 00:51:23,460
they said we didn't do this gastric bypass we can't touch it wow and I'm like I'm not a

499
00:51:23,460 --> 00:51:28,100
fucking science project motherfucker you know like this is a human being this is me like save me

500
00:51:28,100 --> 00:51:36,340
mother I'm literally dying and um they said oh no we'll just schedule a quick transfer which it

501
00:51:36,340 --> 00:51:43,140
wasn't so quick this just goes to show you the American medical system eat a frank yeah um so

502
00:51:43,140 --> 00:51:49,620
they they got me into an ambulance they rushed me to Brooklyn hospital I'm like literally and I don't

503
00:51:49,620 --> 00:51:55,220
remember some of this this is what my sisters are telling me um because I have five sisters by the

504
00:51:55,220 --> 00:51:59,460
way yeah and they were all they're like fucking power rangers I love them so much and they don't

505
00:51:59,460 --> 00:52:04,900
listen to your podcast but they will after this I love y'all yes um and for the interest of time I

506
00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:11,380
just want to know that moment where I guess you got to the point where you almost died or you did

507
00:52:11,380 --> 00:52:19,620
die so after all that they put me in a medically induced coma to keep my body alive oh my god so

508
00:52:19,620 --> 00:52:26,580
as they were operating I passed away I flatlined like Sherry you remember this you saw my father

509
00:52:26,580 --> 00:52:31,460
cry I didn't see my father cry but um the hospital like the doctors were telling him there's like an

510
00:52:31,460 --> 00:52:39,140
80 chance of me dying and you know to get my affairs in order all that blah blah blah and um

511
00:52:40,740 --> 00:52:47,380
so sorry in the interest of time um so yeah I died I flatlined during the operation during the long

512
00:52:47,380 --> 00:52:55,380
operation and uh so yeah that's pretty much it I remember something happening but sometimes I want

513
00:52:55,380 --> 00:53:02,100
to say that it didn't happen but the only thing I do remember is seeing my grandfather and my aunt

514
00:53:02,100 --> 00:53:07,380
may they both rest in peace are you saying that you went to heaven no I don't think it's heaven

515
00:53:07,380 --> 00:53:14,100
because but you saw some kind of after I saw yeah I feel like there's an afterlife for everyone

516
00:53:14,900 --> 00:53:22,660
what was it like so me it took me to a place in my it took me to a place in my childhood in Yemen

517
00:53:22,660 --> 00:53:29,780
before the war a little known fact about me before John Jay I escaped Yemen during the peak of the

518
00:53:29,780 --> 00:53:36,260
war what war is this for the this is a civil war so like they had a huge problem with after a few

519
00:53:36,260 --> 00:53:42,580
years after the Arab Spring and um it was just bad everyone was doing it Egypt Tunisia Bahrain

520
00:53:42,580 --> 00:53:47,620
you know most of the countries under dictatorship gone got some of them got themselves into worse

521
00:53:47,620 --> 00:53:54,100
even worse dictatorships Yemen was one of them Yemen is one of the biggest humanitarian crisis

522
00:53:54,100 --> 00:53:59,380
of today with cholera starvation all that long story short they were like a lot of missiles a lot

523
00:53:59,380 --> 00:54:04,340
of everything and um that's pretty bad it's getting better now slowly slowly but surely but

524
00:54:04,340 --> 00:54:11,940
yeah so like after that so being in this afterlife limbo whatever I know this doesn't exist anymore

525
00:54:11,940 --> 00:54:17,860
yeah it took me to a river that I used to play around as a kid wow and it doesn't exist because

526
00:54:17,860 --> 00:54:23,060
one of the airstrikes completely turned it into a mini desert it's drought it's drought ridden no

527
00:54:23,060 --> 00:54:27,620
water no nothing so what did your you said you saw your grandparents what did they say to you

528
00:54:27,620 --> 00:54:34,340
no that's when I saw them in the hospital room okay like I like I was like gone yeah but for

529
00:54:34,340 --> 00:54:38,580
some reason I was visualizing the hospital room and I saw them sitting down wow and just like you

530
00:54:38,580 --> 00:54:43,140
know like not cheering me on but they were silent they didn't say anything and in the paranormal

531
00:54:43,700 --> 00:54:50,420
part of the Islamic culture and Arab culture we have to look at the feet if you see someone that

532
00:54:50,420 --> 00:54:56,660
is dead you have to look at the feet if the feet are backward or hoofed like a pig or a donkey it

533
00:54:56,660 --> 00:55:04,340
is a demon oh do not engage it if you don't see their feet if they're or if you see human feet

534
00:55:04,340 --> 00:55:11,460
you can engage okay um so yeah so that's the first thing I did and mind you I lost my grandfather in

535
00:55:11,460 --> 00:55:18,180
2012 and I lost my aunt in 2015 rest in peace yeah yeah rest in peace and um so I was like oh

536
00:55:18,180 --> 00:55:22,420
you know like I'm talking to them and they're just like my grandfather he was very old so he

537
00:55:22,420 --> 00:55:27,780
just gave me like also dementia he also just he just gave me a like thumbs up he had this beautiful

538
00:55:27,780 --> 00:55:33,060
cherry wood cane that he used to get I can't say this word anymore deorian but like he used to be

539
00:55:33,060 --> 00:55:38,660
like a merchant so he went you know beautiful cherry wood cane with a gold dragon so yeah so

540
00:55:38,660 --> 00:55:43,940
like I was like wow all right so why does he have that he's dead so that's when it kind of hit me

541
00:55:43,940 --> 00:55:49,300
like dude I'm seeing dead people am I dead oh my gosh and then it instantly went to the river and

542
00:55:50,020 --> 00:55:55,780
as you know I speak a little bit of a few languages the only things I'm fluent in right now is Arabic

543
00:55:55,780 --> 00:56:04,340
French English Spanish okay um but every language that I know or have tried to learn every voice

544
00:56:04,340 --> 00:56:09,540
I've heard in my life that's the only way I can describe I heard them saying it's not your time

545
00:56:09,540 --> 00:56:20,580
yet like in Arabic I heard I heard you know um it's like it just in collective voices saying it's

546
00:56:20,580 --> 00:56:28,020
not your time and I just woke up do you really think this was the afterlife or was it like a

547
00:56:28,020 --> 00:56:34,900
limbo of some sort I think limbo yeah because the fact that it took me to a place of comfort

548
00:56:34,900 --> 00:56:46,260
wow because limbo I yeah I guess limbo that was the first time the second time I died was when

549
00:56:46,260 --> 00:56:52,340
they were when they had the metal bracket in my lung and my heart just almost gave up it was just

550
00:56:52,340 --> 00:57:05,380
bad um I remember seeing my family reacting so to simplify it astral projection what is that

551
00:57:06,900 --> 00:57:13,300
I saw my own body dead oh my gosh they were in other rooms they were in another room I saw my

552
00:57:13,300 --> 00:57:18,020
mother holding me I saw them arguing over oh I knew oh I knew I should have took him to mom

553
00:57:18,020 --> 00:57:23,940
Sinai they were like going at it and I'm like I'm seeing them argue and I remember trying to

554
00:57:23,940 --> 00:57:29,700
comfort my mother like yo yo mom go me which means like get up go me go me you know I'm like

555
00:57:29,700 --> 00:57:32,980
trying to talk to her and she's not listening I'm like why is she not something right here

556
00:57:32,980 --> 00:57:39,460
my mother's deaf in one ear so I went to the good ear okay and I'm like she's not responding

557
00:57:39,460 --> 00:57:43,540
and all I see is a doctor is rushing and I'm like what the fuck why do I see these doctors

558
00:57:44,340 --> 00:57:49,540
then it hit me I'm like am I dead again the fact that I was able to be aware and say again

559
00:57:49,540 --> 00:57:54,980
yeah kind of hit me I'm like believe it or not there were at times where there were times where

560
00:57:54,980 --> 00:58:00,580
I did want to die because I saw Sherry my girlfriend at the time she was going to Kingsborough

561
00:58:00,580 --> 00:58:04,740
and working and like she was doing all that travel and I was like I just couldn't help but

562
00:58:04,740 --> 00:58:12,660
feel like nothing but a burden but that's not true it no it wasn't it wasn't true and that's

563
00:58:12,660 --> 00:58:19,380
that's where I knew I loved her yeah because I woke up from that coma to seeing her speaking to my

564
00:58:19,380 --> 00:58:24,740
mother I haven't introduced them yet this is like going towards the first year of us being together

565
00:58:25,620 --> 00:58:30,660
and I'm intubated I'm waking up from a coma I see my mother talking to Sherry I wasn't ready for

566
00:58:30,660 --> 00:58:37,620
that I went right the fuck back to sleep I closed my eyes like this went right back again I was like

567
00:58:37,620 --> 00:58:42,900
I was scared I didn't know how to you know nurse comes in saying hey we're seeing activity you

568
00:58:42,900 --> 00:58:48,260
know is he up and then she's like that because I have like a lot of wires to me so slowly but

569
00:58:48,260 --> 00:58:53,860
surely I'm healing they take out the tube and at that time my voice was like this very hoarse

570
00:58:54,980 --> 00:58:59,460
and but you know slowly but my girl was there every day and I think that's what made my mother

571
00:58:59,460 --> 00:59:05,300
accept her she you know because there is interfaith relationships in the Yemeni community there is

572
00:59:05,300 --> 00:59:10,980
intercultural relationships interracial relationships my uncle had one yeah had a

573
00:59:10,980 --> 00:59:15,300
has a whole son I have a half Mexican half Yemeni I swear to god his name is Donald Trump's worst

574
00:59:15,300 --> 00:59:22,260
nightmare oh my what's his name I swear what's the name of the half Yemeni severe Alejandro

575
00:59:22,260 --> 00:59:30,180
Sabel Alcobar de Gonzalez this motherfucker this motherfucker walks in an airport he's getting hit by ice and TSA

576
00:59:30,180 --> 00:59:37,540
and homeland no way but first of all I just want to say thank you like thank you for sharing that

577
00:59:37,540 --> 00:59:44,420
story because that is the story of survival and I'm sure there's people who have been in comas or

578
00:59:44,420 --> 00:59:50,740
other near-death situations who have similar accounts or completely different ones but just

579
00:59:50,740 --> 00:59:57,140
hearing that from your perspective is insane and also something I took from that is literally like

580
00:59:58,820 --> 01:00:04,100
the aesthetic the physical whatever you think society wants from you it's not worth your life

581
01:00:04,100 --> 01:00:10,580
it's not it's not at all I'm bringing it back to your relationship with Sherry yes how do you feel

582
01:00:10,580 --> 01:00:14,980
I don't think we've really got to touch on the worst thing that you've heard so oh from her

583
01:00:14,980 --> 01:00:23,380
and so from her side of the family um during the not really the worst but like so from her side of

584
01:00:23,380 --> 01:00:28,500
the family there would be times where like they would still try to set her up with a guy knowing

585
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:32,980
she's in a relationship very terrible very toxic on but we won't get in but we will get into that

586
01:00:33,860 --> 01:00:38,500
but Sherry doesn't like it herself she doesn't really look back on it uh that's one oh

587
01:00:38,500 --> 01:00:43,620
oh

588
01:00:46,340 --> 01:00:51,140
oh do you even know my name do you even know my name let's talk about these toxic family members

589
01:00:51,140 --> 01:00:57,540
how do you feel about the toxic family members and how do you let that not impact your relationship

590
01:00:57,540 --> 01:01:01,700
because there's probably other people listening the same way I don't let my toxic family for

591
01:01:01,700 --> 01:01:06,420
example there I have one sister and you know who you are going you I'm sending the link to you

592
01:01:06,420 --> 01:01:10,340
um but you call it she like oh you really want to be with this girl like you don't want to marry a

593
01:01:10,340 --> 01:01:13,940
Yemeni girl be with you you don't want your kids to be Muslim I'm like my kids will be whatever

594
01:01:13,940 --> 01:01:21,460
the fuck they want simple as that because you're trying to force your idea of a happy relationship

595
01:01:22,740 --> 01:01:28,660
you know and I'm like exactly so fuck them so yeah exactly fuck them all but question about that

596
01:01:28,660 --> 01:01:34,580
will you want your kids to be Muslim you are with a Christian yes a woman from a Christian background

597
01:01:34,580 --> 01:01:41,700
so I say this all the time my kids I will teach them the way I researched the decision will be

598
01:01:41,700 --> 01:01:48,180
honestly I'm gonna let kids be kids once they reach the teenage where they want to question

599
01:01:48,180 --> 01:01:55,220
things I won't force any ideas on them because for example I know Muslims who weren't able to

600
01:01:55,220 --> 01:01:58,500
eat pork and the first thing they did when they wanted to become ex-Muslims was eat a ham and

601
01:01:58,500 --> 01:02:03,060
cheese or bacon egg and cheese that's not turkey or beef or some of them that were so indoctrinated

602
01:02:03,060 --> 01:02:09,380
not to drink alcohol you know they'll drink alcohol or smoke bud so I don't want to I don't

603
01:02:09,380 --> 01:02:13,700
want them to grow up in a hypocritical household I want them to be able to enjoy their childhood

604
01:02:13,700 --> 01:02:18,660
and once they become rebels and teenagers and adults I want them to explore so I'll teach them

605
01:02:18,660 --> 01:02:22,180
growing up so that the way so that way they're not ignorant if they have questions I'm always there

606
01:02:22,980 --> 01:02:28,420
the fact that I chose to be Muslim and Hamdillah you know God bless doesn't mean they have to

607
01:02:28,420 --> 01:02:35,620
although it's more preferred in my religion and culture it's so is knowledge knowledge is one of

608
01:02:35,620 --> 01:02:41,780
our key parts of our religion we must seek knowledge so I'll teach them all three monotheistic

609
01:02:41,780 --> 01:02:47,140
religions I'll teach them the you know the basis of all because the base of all is just treat one

610
01:02:47,140 --> 01:02:54,260
as you wish to be treated be a good person all around you know simple as that 100 you know so

611
01:02:54,260 --> 01:02:59,380
my kids don't have to be Muslim yeah you know I'll teach them they'll make that decision that's

612
01:02:59,380 --> 01:03:06,740
beautiful I agree I think allowing kids to be kids and and just giving them that education because

613
01:03:06,740 --> 01:03:11,300
that's the most we can give because a lot of people think when they have kids that it's almost

614
01:03:11,300 --> 01:03:15,220
like they're creating a carbon copy of themselves or an extension of themselves but you're creating

615
01:03:15,220 --> 01:03:20,820
a human who you should want to make their own decisions and eventually if you raise them well

616
01:03:20,820 --> 01:03:26,020
hopefully they'll make the best decisions yes I agree this is another thing I say what they're

617
01:03:26,020 --> 01:03:31,620
gonna do they're gonna do what they want to do whether in your knowledge or without whether in

618
01:03:31,620 --> 01:03:35,860
your presence or without and when you're dead and gone they're probably gonna do everything you told

619
01:03:35,860 --> 01:03:44,100
them not to do yeah so let it happen as it happens that's beautiful now our last segment before

620
01:03:44,100 --> 01:03:50,500
well our second to last segment is about a harsh truth is there anything that you've learned in

621
01:03:50,500 --> 01:03:55,700
recent years through all your experiences that maybe even through your relationship that served

622
01:03:55,700 --> 01:04:04,500
you with a harsh truth if you're healthy if you're happy stay happy if you don't like a

623
01:04:04,500 --> 01:04:12,900
part about yourself work on it to change it don't put yourself at risk to satiate society's standard

624
01:04:12,900 --> 01:04:23,780
of beauty 100% because it cost me my life twice and I'm grateful I thank God every day that I'm

625
01:04:23,780 --> 01:04:28,100
back on my feet being able to hug Sherry once again being able to kiss my mother on her forehead

626
01:04:29,220 --> 01:04:34,340
being able to fast Ramadan with my family again love isn't perfection love isn't perfect

627
01:04:35,540 --> 01:04:38,660
there will be compromise there will be times where you guys are on the verge of breaking up

628
01:04:38,660 --> 01:04:48,020
you're breaking up literally but when you picture life without them and it's not it like

629
01:04:48,820 --> 01:04:54,180
there's a difference between becoming dependent or codependent or just noticing that I don't want

630
01:04:54,180 --> 01:04:58,820
to live life without them it's not that I want to depend on them it's that I want them to be my

631
01:04:58,820 --> 01:05:02,980
partner for the rest of my life I love this person this is my person yeah love is imperfectly perfect

632
01:05:02,980 --> 01:05:12,180
because without it what are we that's that's a great note to end on I agree 100% and thank you

633
01:05:12,180 --> 01:05:19,380
so much for being so transparent so vulnerable on everything and I mean we can go on and on and on

634
01:05:19,380 --> 01:05:25,300
because there's so many layers just the the intensity that you experience in the hospital

635
01:05:25,300 --> 01:05:32,100
and your beautiful love story that's intercultural and interfaith and you guys just seem to rise above

636
01:05:32,100 --> 01:05:38,740
the odds so I am so hopeful for you guys and your love journey and I know that you're invited to all

637
01:05:38,740 --> 01:05:45,380
the weddings yeah so I think you mentioned this earlier but if you'd like to plug your social

638
01:05:45,380 --> 01:05:49,940
media or any account or any things that you'd like to plug this is the time actually this is

639
01:05:49,940 --> 01:05:53,860
gonna sound corny but it's not gonna be my social media it's gonna be her business page on instagram

640
01:05:54,580 --> 01:06:00,660
get you a man that plugs your business page come on now so sh canvases on instagram

641
01:06:00,660 --> 01:06:06,180
uh you know she does like custom she does commissions and yeah she does a lot of great

642
01:06:06,180 --> 01:06:13,300
artwork it's sh canvases on instagram yes support um so has there been a song that you've been

643
01:06:13,300 --> 01:06:19,220
listening to we always do our song of the pod so we'll just pick a song to lead people out to

644
01:06:20,020 --> 01:06:26,260
which is my walkout music later like lately at the gym okay or at work chanbeya by bad bunny

645
01:06:26,260 --> 01:06:33,460
chanbeya okay yeah let's get that I have a very huge playlist of those

646
01:06:36,740 --> 01:06:40,420
well thank you so much for joining us yusef the pleasure's all mine for

647
01:06:41,220 --> 01:06:47,940
amazing to have you and as a reminder to those of you listening please listen to at bronx girl

648
01:06:47,940 --> 01:06:54,580
please follow us at bronx girl at heart podcast on instagram and make sure to listen next time

649
01:06:54,580 --> 01:06:56,580
bye guys