I remember something happening, but sometimes I want to say that it didn't happen, but the only thing I do remember
Is seeing my grandfather and my aunt made a both rest in peace. Are you saying that you went to heaven?
All I had's got Yankee signs, Nike checks on all her kicks
She don't never take no line, except the 1-2-4-5-6
Said she live in Marble Hill, but she chill at Palombe
No hellos or how you feels, all her friends say get low-key
Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made, Bronx made
Ey que lo que! Welcome to Bronx Girl at Heart, a space where we explore harsh truths about growing up in our 20s
and show love to our past while looking towards our future. My name is Bronx Girl at Heart, aka Alana's.
Welcome to episode 9! Thank you guys for joining us once again.
As a little heads up, we have a guest here, which I'm going to announce in a second, and we have another guest
who's a young friend of ours. It's one of my friends from high school, Son is over here, LR is on babysitter duty
so don't mind the background noises and the little giggles that you may hear here and there.
But our guest for the day is actually someone that I've known for a while, so I'll wait for him to introduce himself in a little bit
but we're going to have a very fun conversation about being young and in love everybody, so get into your, get into your feels.
It's going to be a good one. A few reminders before we really get started.
Please remember to follow our podcast Instagram account at Bronx Girl at Heart podcast
and if you enjoy the podcast today, please leave a comment in the rating and review section of Apple Podcasts
and leave a reply in the Q&A section of Spotify.
So today with our lovely guest, who I will let introduce himself in a moment, we will talk about being young and in love
so get ready to get in your feels guys, but it's going to be a good one.
And a few reminders before we really get started.
Please remember to follow our podcast Instagram account at Bronx Girl at Heart podcast
and if you enjoy the podcast today, please leave a comment in the rating and review section of Apple Podcasts
and leave a reply in the Q&A section of Spotify as well. Thank you.
So as we typically do around this time, we will start with the sound off.
So LR sent me a few sound off topics for me to just go off on so I'll just quickly go through them.
One of them is, it's Gemini season. Reflect on the Geminis in your life.
The Geminis, okay, I have an experience with one Gemini in college who he was,
basically he had, I, you know, we were talking, I guess we had a little situationship,
but he had best friends as in female best friends everywhere.
And he had one major best friend that they got matching tattoos, they would go on friendship dates.
And I was just like, is this your friend or someone that you're hooking up with?
And come to find out it was more friends just like this, like he would go over to their house
and console them. He just had too many friends and I didn't like that. So we had to cut him off.
So I don't know, from my impression, I feel like Gemini men, you know, they could be the life of the party.
They could be a shoulder to cry on, but they might be a little too friendly for my liking, in my opinion.
Okay, next sound off item.
Are we settling down this summer or are we having fun? I'm not settling down this summer.
I don't know about y'all. Like, I don't know if y'all saw what Young Miami put on Instagram,
but it is an act bad summer and I am following through. I'm not tied down yet.
And I'm probably not going to be anytime soon. So we acting bad this summer and we having fun.
Let's see another topic. Ice Spice and Taylor Swift collab. How do we feel about this?
So I just found out about the Ice Spice and Taylor Swift collab today. I haven't even listened to it yet.
Our producer LR says it's trash, so I'll let him be the judge of that. I don't believe it could be fully trashed
because, you know, I love our girl Ice Spice and I think she has great taste. But aside from
the music, obviously there are benefits to making a song with Taylor Swift.
So I'm assuming if the quality of the song isn't there, there probably will be other benefits for Ice Spice
and even Taylor Swift. Obviously it's always a good opportunity for a major pop girlie to tap into urban culture
and same thing with a young, budding rapper. However, I did see some tea about Taylor Swift's
boyfriend or whatever their relationship status is. Apparently, Matt Healy, he's like from the band 1975
and he was heard in a podcast and this podcast came out, I don't know if it came out, it probably
came out like a couple years ago or last year. He was talking about ghetto gagers and watching that type of pornography
and I did a little bit of research on ghetto gagers because obviously I don't know what the hell that is.
Why would I know what that is? And it is a porn website where they show black women and women of color
being brutalized for men's sexual pleasure and this is Taylor Swift's man? I don't know how I feel about that.
And there's also been stories and people have quoted him referring to Ice Spice with,
I have to pull up the quote, but he referred to Ice Spice as something with a slur. People are saying
there's racial innuendos with the way he referred to her and I cannot believe this is your man.
Taylor, what is going on? Why would you be with somebody? I actually found the quote. So I'm reading
this from insider.com and it says, this was in the Freelance podcast. Healy and the host made fun of
rapper Ice Spice and tried to guess her ethnicity, calling her one of the Inuit Spice Girls, a chubby
Chinese lady and a fucking Eskimo. Ah, huh? Now it is important to note that in April, Healy offered
an apology to Ice Spice and said he doesn't want the rapper to think I'm a dick. But you are a dick.
And Taylor, Tay Tay, is this what you're cosigning? Your man is literally showing himself to be a bigot
by watching disrespectful, disgusting porn and talking about it on a podcast, talking about it.
And then he's talking about a girl that he doesn't even know. He's guessing her race and relating her
to a chubby Chinese lady and a fucking Eskimo. What's wrong with what's wrong with being an Eskimo?
Like, what the fuck? Do you even know about that community? I don't know. He just sounds like
another ignorant white man to me. And Taylor, this doesn't look good on you either. Um, I don't know.
Like, do we feel like this is a reflection on Taylor? Like, I don't think women should be
I don't think women should be responsible for their men's behavior, but you are responsible for who you
choose to date. And now you're doing a collab with Ice Spice, but your man your man has said these
awful things about her. What are you going to do? I don't even know if Taylor has responded about
this, but we're waiting sis. So those are all of my thoughts in today's soundoff. Um, please let
me know what you guys think about any of the topics I spoke about today. You know, leave a review,
leave a comment and on Spotify, Apple, all that. Now we can finally introduce our guests. Hi,
Yusuf. Hey, Alana. So I would love to know what borough you're from and tell tell the audience a
little bit about yourself as well as share your social media accounts. My name is Yusuf Ali. Um,
I'm born and raised in Flatbush, Brooklyn. My social is al underscore goal. Al goal.
It means the demon in Arabic. Um, but uh, yeah, that's pretty much it for now. Okay, cool. Really
good to know. And I've known you for a while. There's been a few guests on this podcast. I
think I should call this the high school, the high school reunion show at this point, but there's
been a few guests on this podcast from my high school years and you are now added to that list
as well. Yeah. So it's really exciting. And something that intrigues me about you is that,
well, you, you talked about this when we were talking before the show as to how your personality
has changed a great deal since high school. So I'm not going to speak too much about it.
I'll let you speak about it. How would you describe yourself in high school?
Personally, in retrospect, I was an asshole. Like, like, um, uh, probably because like,
I knew like in high school, I was a lot heavier and I knew that nine times out of 10, I would be the
easiest one to pick on. So what I did was I stayed the obvious, I took pride in how big I was and
I'll crack the jokes first. So as in heavy, like just for the audience to get a picture. So I was
484 pounds in high school. Um, uh, yeah. So I was a size 58 waist and nine times out of 10,
I'd probably be easy prey to bullying. And also I just don't like bullies at all. So I thought of
it as like, maybe if I was the funny fat guy, no one would bother me. So like I'd say like some
walkie shit, like, I remember there was this one kid, um, he was new, he didn't really last that
much in journalism, but um, he pulled up and he was in the school for like three weeks. And uh,
he was like, Oh, yeah, I really talked to this fat, you know, and you know, oh, like, yeah,
really laugh at this fat dude. And uh, what you call it, this is where I fucked up actually.
I know I'm fat. I have a mirror. You have a father where your father's at? Oh my God.
Turns out he was adopted. Oh, so I felt bad. So like, how did you learn he was adopted? Uh,
we had a teacher by the name of Ms. D'Souza. She pulled me to the side. She was like, Yousef,
you can't say that. He's actually adopted. I was like, Ooh, my bad. I went in, I was like,
I'm sorry, bro. You know, and then, you know, I, I apologize. He laughed it off. I know he was
hurting inside, but you know, I mean, like with all the respect, you know, beginning to meet someone
for the first time, you don't go bashing them. So, you know, like relatively in high school,
I was a person that like, I didn't mess with people, but I had an answer ready. But like,
so what I would, why I saw myself as an asshole was, I just, I just didn't know when to stop.
I didn't know how to different differentiate between the time to be serious and time to be
joking around. And I guess it was probably just a coping mechanism or, you know, coping mechanism
slash defense mechanism, you know, with my upbringing and what I've been through in life.
That's pretty much why I describe myself as an asshole. Now, it's interesting to say you
didn't like bullies, but don't you feel like in certain moments you may be perceived as a bully?
Exactly my point, which is why I define myself as an asshole because where I thought I was
defending myself, I was just being a bully myself, which made me a hypocrite. And if it's something
I hate, it's a hypocrite. Yeah. And what made you realize this? I don't honestly like, because it
takes a lot of self awareness to, usually I feel like people wouldn't notice this until it smacks
them in the face somehow. Yeah. No, it didn't smack me in the face at all. Actually. I just like,
I just like, as you know, as my previous name was user from the deli in high school, I used to work
at a 24 hour deli with my family business and I would do night shifts. And when it's night shifts
in Park Slope, Brooklyn, you don't want, other than the crack heads that come in and out every
now and then, because Park Slope Brooklyn at night is not Park Slope. I believe that. Yeah. Park
Slope at night is Park Slope how it was in the seventies. Yeah. I remember I would, I mean,
you would be on that, like the main strip of like where our school was at and it would be completely
safe, but then you'll turn a corner and I'm like, Oh, I don't think this is Park Slope anymore. Let
me go back. So like, I got a lot of old heads that were like, they get like quote unquote, the OGs
of the seventies and the eighties and they'll come, Oh, when I was your age, this, when I was, you
know, so now that they're old and frail, they won't do anything, but the people they were around
would still be there. So like nine times it was, it was pretty bad. It was pretty rough in the
nighttime. But other than that, all I had was time to reflect on myself and my behaviors, you know?
And when all you have is time to reflect on your behavior, it's either you choose to replicate
behaviors or you break them. What was that time? Did something stop for you where you had a lot of
space to think? So because I was always working 12 hour shifts, it took a toll on my academia.
It took it because although I was passing my exams, I didn't have enough instruction hours.
So I had like 36 credits by the time I was, you know, like by the time I was ready to graduate,
you know, senior year and I was going to get held back. I had all my regions above 80.
I passed, you know, the only one that I had like a 75 in geometry. And I had all the exams. I did
well on my SATs, did well on my AP exams, but I didn't have the class credits. And I was like,
all of this, I'm still a failure. That's how I viewed it. And whenever I asked for help and,
you know, I don't know if the high school was mentioned before, but I will mention,
I won't give that high school power over me. But growing, you know, that high school, I felt like,
I mean, again, I was working, I chose work. However, it's New York, you need to make a
buck somehow, you know, especially in like, in a minority, I'm from an Arab household and like,
we view it as your man once you're nine, my first job, I was nine years old. So like,
like, so I had to support myself somehow. So I was working. And like, I came to peace with it.
However, again, the academia took a toll. And I had this arrogant outlook on life. Like I know,
like I was hot shit, turns out it was just shit. Basically, because yes, I was quote unquote
intelligent, or in the words of some teachers, 99.9 or sometimes they'll say the gift of gab.
I wasn't able to apply myself because I was always tired from working a 12 hour shift.
And I'd be late, I'd probably show up by my third period, latest. And that's two periods of
instruction time. So I was like, that, that was level one of like the realization like, yo,
yeah, you crack jokes. Yeah, you're one of the funny guys in the school. But they're all going
to four year colleges, whereas you're probably going to be right back here next year. You know,
and that that was level one. Level two. When I wasn't going to prom, I didn't go to the senior
trip, didn't go to prom, I wasn't going to go to prom, actually. But that's more about the love
story. That we'll get back to that soon. Because I did end up going to prom, but for a special
someone. But yeah, so like, that was another one. Level three, I just noticed that like life goes on.
And if I want to enjoy the best out of life, it's up to me, no one else, no one's going to
do the work but you. So I had to reflect on myself, see what behaviors I wanted to change.
And that's how it started. There's a lot more to it, though. Yeah. And in regards to our conversation,
later on, it has a lot to do with it as well. Yeah. And what Yusef is hinting at is what we'll talk
about, which is being in love at a young age and what love can do for your life. And he's been in
a relationship that I've seen him be very public about in recent years, and I'm intrigued about it.
So we're going to talk about that. Because I know we talked about Hot Girl Summer acting bad, like I
said, you know, but I still believe that true love exists. You know, so I think stories like this are
great for us to put out there. Going back to what you were talking about, which about being Arab,
and being considered a man at nine. Did you express to your family the academic struggles
that you were having and what was their response? They expected me to work with it. They said, hey,
and like, which is another topic trait about some Arab households, like, hey, this kid's doing this,
this, this, this, you should be doing the same thing. Which is pretty much the same in Latino
households. Nine times out of 10, they're going to be like, oh, but I'll meet up to primo, like, oh,
look at your cousin, look at this, look at that. And you live a lot being compared and not being
highlighted for what you are. Rather than being accepted and appreciated for what you do and what
you are, you're compared and contrasted to what you don't. So that was the, you know, I told them,
hey, I got it, you know, and nine times out of 10, they were very hard on me. They were like, hey,
you can't be doing these kinds of grades. You got to work on, I was like, how do you guys want me to
work? And Excel, my first class is at 8.15. Yeah. I'm at a deli at 3 a.m. That's almost, that's,
you know, and they're like, oh, make it work. And then I'm like, all right, then I'm going to leave
the deli. And then they're like, you better find a job. And I'm like, all right, whatever. So
they respond, you know, like my mom, of course, she was very, like, she was a little more lenient,
but the very next day she'll ask for a certain amount of money. And I'm not bagging on my parents.
I love them. And, you know, like they've they helped me a lot. They've given me a lot,
but they've also taught me a lot, both negative and positive. And like, which is why I'm at
the space I'm in now, which I'm pretty proud of, you know, but like,
and I'm using a lot of filler words. However, when it comes to like their response,
they weren't as accepting. They were very, oh, everybody has to work. This is America.
That's the American dream. There's no white picket fence. It's you work, you work, work, work, work,
and that's it. I mean, working in the deli, I was working 70 hours a week,
no social life at all. I literally went from home, work, school, home, work, school.
I'd hang out with a few friends after school for like, what, 20, 30 minutes?
Probably by Smiley's Pizza or Tex-Mex. You know, Tex-Mex, we have so many memories at Tex-Mex.
You know, I'll go chill at the Barnes and Noble, read a couple of mangas,
and then I'd have to go to work. That's it. What do you think that did to your development,
being a teenager and just working, getting so few hours of sleep and constantly being compared to
other kids? Do you feel like that affected how you are socially now?
Not socially, because being in a business, I was surrounded by mostly adults. Most of my customers
were adults. Most of my customers were my teachers coming in drunk, buying six packs.
I knew them as customers before they knew me as a student. Some of them lived in the area, so
it was kind of a shock. Not a shock, but it was an interesting dynamic because I was always told I
was growing up too smart for my own good or too mature for my age. That's something I also hated
hearing, too smart for your own good. I hear it a lot. I guess when it comes to the effect socially,
now that I'm a little older, I can understand why they said I was too smart for my own good,
because there were some things that as a child you just shouldn't understand, yet you should learn
later in life. It's sad, but you know, hard truth. Personally, that's what I think. There are some
things that you should learn later in life, not as a child. You know?
100 percent.
100 percent. Facts. That's what I'm saying. So, socially, it did well, actually. I was able to
speak on things that most kids my age wouldn't be able to speak on. I was able to get political
and still remain, you know, like still keep my composure. I was able to speak intellectually
with college professors, doctors even, most of my customers. And like some of them were, and this is
like an, again, during the day it's a higher end of Park Slope. During the night it's not so much.
So, the daytime customers, they were like, you know, very nine to five doctors, lawyers. I was
able to chop it up, talk to them about random things. I was able to co-switch a lot. And then
I was able to go right back to school and just talk about stupid shit. Rap battle with Tyreke
and Khalil and people, you know, like a lot of people in, you know, like in school. I was able
to be a kid. So, in high school, I guess I was able to be that ignorant child. Whereas at three
o'clock I had to turn to a man real quick. And man in the eyes of an Arab family, you know, like
someone who works hard and goes home. That's it. Yeah. So, yeah. I feel like it gave you a lot of
street smarts. So, maybe in those academic hours that you lost, you gained some other education,
which can be very valuable as well. Yes. That's, I agree. That's so interesting. And
we can talk about that for hours. Yeah. But let's get messy now. Okay.
Okay. We're getting to Casa Confessions. So, as a reminder for the audience and to Yusuf,
this is where I ask four to six, around there, mild to out of pocket questions.
And guests can opt out of a question by taking a shot of Casamicos. Usually our guests take a shot
before us, before we start with the questions. But Yusuf will not be drinking today because he is a
very respectful citizen or whatever. So, I'm going to take a shot before we get started.
I will, I will pour it myself. Give me a second, guys.
Don't ask me why I'm drinking around kids. LR is on babysitter duty, not me.
I chased a, you know, doing you justice. The chaser, yeah. I'm sorry. I saw this girl on,
on IG today. She was like, she was like, we chase dreams, not drinks, ho. And I'm like,
all right, I'm not at your level yet. I'm sorry. So, let's get started for Casa Confessions. Now
that I'm warm and toasty. My first question to you is, what's the freakiest thing you've done
with your current girlfriend? Amor. I'm sorry. I've made it my mission that every family house
of hers that we visit, I get a nut. So, there are houses in, out of, across seats, overseas,
in the US borders, like there are houses that has a trace of Yusef somewhere. Oh, Lord. A couple
cookies here and there, you know. That's one. And I guess probably the Brooklyn Bridge Park bathroom.
That's it. We're pretty calm. And Brooklyn Bridge Park bathroom, is that even a good
like public bathroom? It is actually. I don't know where it is. You know, like right by the,
like, all right, so this is the pier, this is the ferry. And like there's like this little
bougie little bar slash restaurant type shit. So that bathroom, that one, the, the woman's bathroom
specifically. So it was like spacious and clean. Very. Handicapped. Handicapped stall. So if you
were crippled, you had to wait. If anyone has been to the Brooklyn Bridge Park public bathroom
recently, the handicapped bathroom or the disabled, I'm sorry, I'm not sure which,
whichever is the correct term. If anyone has been in that bathroom, just know that you probably been
inhaling some of some of Yusef's body fluids. I mean, honestly, and probably a lot of people's
body fluids, like it's a public bathroom. So, and damn, every family member's house that you guys
visited? Most of them. Oh my God. We actually had makeup sex in one of their houses. Like we had a
whole argument during the vacation and then was like, you know what? I love you. I love you too.
You toxic bitch. And then we just went at it. Couples are nasty. As a big boy, what can you do
sexually that skinny boys can't? I wouldn't say like, I mean, I wouldn't say anything like, I mean,
as a big boy, I guess I'm a giver, you know, like. What do you mean as a big boy, you're a giver?
As a big boy, I'm a giver. So like, I guess like, all right, since we getting saucy.
I feel kind of Lingus. Eating the cooch. Like I'm a lot more generous with that. I'm a munch.
But you, okay. Exactly. There's no other, there's nothing that I don't do that skinny guys don't do.
So you think big boys are, they're more, they're eaters is what you're saying? In all aspects.
In all aspects. Makes sense. And if you say no, you will fucking lie. Makes sense. Yeah.
What's the sexiest thing about you, Yusuf?
It would be rather narcissistic to say myself. Everything about you. I'll just say. That's not
narcissistic. If that's how you feel, that's how you feel. I'll just say what I heard Sherry tell
me. She said the sexiest thing about me is when I don't have it low trimmed, my beard and my eyes,
I guess that's it. So when you have your beard a little fluffier and your eyes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Name a celebrity you would cheat on your girlfriend with if she gave you a hall pass.
2019 Doja Cat.
So that was thick Doja. Thick Doja. That was before the. Keep it juicy, juicy, like thick.
Before the psychosis Doja. Yeah. Before the shaved eyebrows. Even though she's been. She's
still slaying. Serving. Serving. Like for real. Can I say that word? Serving what? I don't know.
Cunt. Yeah. That's fine. Like. Ally. Yeah. If you're like. If you're saying in a gay positive way.
Like cunty. Big purr. Yes. Exactly. No pun intended. I just noticed Doja Cat purr. Okay. Yeah.
But yeah. 2019 Doja Cat for a fact. Okay. And is your girlfriend aware of this? Yes. We've had
this conversation many times. So she's not going to beat your ass after this? No. I know for a fact
she would fold like origami for fucking Bad Bunny. And that's a handsome man. I can admit it.
How do you feel knowing this? That at the drop of a hat. If your girlfriend had the opportunity
she would fuck Bad Bunny. Shut up. Like honestly. I'll drop. For Doja Cat. 2019 Doja Cat. Same shit.
Same shit. Fold. So hall passes are a real thing. Now hold on. I am a straight male.
However Bad Bunny is a handsome man. Yeah. She has two hall passes. Actually her second hall
pass is Bretman Rock. Bretman Rock? Yeah. Even though he's gay. I don't even think he goes that
way. So you're fine. Exactly. Right. Fags. I'm safe. Okay. I was going to be racist. Please go ahead.
LR is about to be racist. I think she was going to say Romeo Sanfiel said about what?
No. Hold on. Hold on. You ought to something. We went to Madame Tussauds once
and she went to the wax figure of Romeo Santos and she was a little too friendly.
I'm going to take her ass again just to go to Megan. Oh Megan Thee Stallion. That was my second
hall pass. Okay. Megan Thee Stallion. I see a common thread in these choices. Okay. Very much
though. A lot of ass. Claro que si. Well you made it through Casa Confessions. Our next segment is
show and tell. So this is where we have our guests share a skill or interest that they have. Guests
can also perform, demonstrate something, tell a story or you can share a cool memory with your
girlfriend. Can I do both? Of course. Do it all. Okay. So like personally those of you who know me
in high school I like to do impressions and voices. Yes I do remember you doing that. Yeah and that's
another thing that I regret. Like I regret because some of them were obnoxious. Very obnoxious. Okay.
But hey when it comes to the art of acting sometimes you got to be you know you got to ruffle
some feathers you know. I always wanted to get into voice acting. It's one of my biggest fantasies.
If I was able to break any type of barrier when it comes to my family it would be to, which I
already did, leave the deli business of course but leave a job and just do what I love which is voice
like voices. Yeah. There would be times where okay so this is I guess this should be a performance.
There'll be times where schools will call my house to say that I missed first second and third period
and I would just do a random accent just to throw them off. It'll be um I can't say the name. Can I
say the name? Who is the person? What's the role? Parent coordinator same red wig since freshman year.
She would call me yeah hi hello this is uh miss something something from from journalism and I'm
not just you know I wanted to talk because uh Yusef hasn't come in for class and I just wanted to
speak to the parents. Is this Mr. Al-Kabani's parents? And I would say no hello this is D.Va.
Dmitri Voskinov and you know I would just talk with a random Russian accent. I would speak with
Russian accent or I would just talk like this and just be you know a random white lady and I would
just completely change the voice or my favorite was able to talk like this because you can't really
pinpoint. I can be Southeast Asian. I can be Indian. I can be Pakistani. I can be Bengali.
So my Bengali friends I love you. Please I know you got beef with them. I love y'all.
But like no like I would just change the voice or um I would first of all class for those accents
because that was so good especially I don't know the the valley white man. Oh I think you did that
one. That's my favorite one. That was like a white man accent that you did right? No the white man is
very different. The white man is like there's different there's um. I thought you did a gay
white man earlier. No this is more like valley girl. I mean if it gives my voice is a lot deeper
since being uh intubated. We'll get into that later. Yes. Um which is uh but like uh so
that used to be a valley girl because most of my customers at night would be like drunk white ladies
after the old heads would go home like around this like around 3 4 a.m. people are coming to
their senses. They're sobering up. White girl wasted so one would put it so they'd be like yeah
can I please get and they'd have the weirdest deli requests. Oh no what's a white girl a drunk white
girl's deli request. Let me get toasted on rye deli mustard just say brown mustard you fucking
uncultured swine. Deli mustard I want turkey salami peanut butter with pickles. No way. Lots
and lots of pickles and I'm like okay. Turkey salami mustard and pickles. Turkey salami mustard
peanut butter and pickles. That's disgusting. Very much so uh but uh no so like so I was able
to like replicate those voices. I would just take voices I would hear at work and take them to school
or take them home. Yeah. And one of my biggest inspirations Robin Williams may he rest in peace.
I remember when he offed himself I locked myself in a room didn't speak to nobody. Not offed himself.
Rest in peace to Robin Williams. Rest in peace like it broke my heart like he's a huge inspiration.
He's the first person that did something arab based that we weren't terrorists you know.
His work as the genie he actually did research like the concept of salaam which means peace.
So it was pretty nice. It's not the perfect representation but I'd rather that than some
you know like someone drinking alcohol during Ramadan like that's like you know. Yeah. Or
Netflix's obsession with calling the hijab oppression. A hijab a what? The hijab. So in
every Netflix movie where it's a Muslim girl it's always her taking off her hijab and like
you know popping out with some random white guy that's a jock. I'm like yo that's not freedom
you know. Oh they act like she was somehow imprisoned by her hijab. Exactly when it's
no different than a nun. Yeah. You know but enough with the touchy subjects like that you know I
don't want I want this to stay on Spotify. No let's get into the touchy subjects. Let's get into it.
But yeah so I've noticed that I've noticed that when it comes to like certain some
some certain types of representation and Robin Williams did great for me as a child. I love
I love the original Adam. I love it to this day. That's awesome. When it comes to voice acting
Robin Williams is a huge inspiration. Amazing and we loved your impressions. So now we're going to
move on to our main topic which is about being young and in love. You talked a little bit about
your girlfriend. I want to know what was your perspective on love before your current relationship
versus now. Didn't believe in it. Wow. I thought I'd be shipped off to a although we don't do like
not we don't all do arranged marriages. So people when people think of the concept of arranged
marriages they immediately think from birth. That's could mean in some and this is going to sound
pretty uh fucked up but from the poorer classes because most of the Middle East runs on social
class. All right and again in retrospect Yemen like we like not all like so we run on social classes.
One could be a hillbilly. One could be a prince. At the end of the day I still you know like we
we're very big on reputation and social class. I don't see the difference. Some people do.
So if you're like poor and you're going through it you'll have an arranged marriage with a agreed
upon dowry. There's a lot to it and you know so I thought I was going to just end up with like
a girl of my mother's choosing like oh habibi come try her she's very good for you go ahead
you know she's pretty blah blah blah she'll cook for you. That's what I thought I'd end up with.
I thought I end up with a run of the mill Middle Eastern woman not necessarily Yemeni you know but
like I just thought I'd have it given to me and I didn't like that concept actually as much as I
thought that that would happen which happens to most of us. I just didn't like that concept. I was
like if I can't choose the woman I love how can I choose anything serious in life because love is
this is going to sound corny but love is integral to one's life.
Love is very integral and if you can't choose the one you love how can you choose the things you hate
the things you don't like the things you you know if you can't choose what you love you can't choose
the things you don't love. Yeah well I don't really I guess the most I know about arranged marriage is
what my Indian friends have told me and what I've seen on TV however I do know that there's this
concept that love can grow so maybe you can start off as strangers but love is isn't just a feeling
right it's in my opinion it's rooted in commitment and action. Yes. So in that sense love can be
created and built between two people as well. Yeah you can learn to love I do agree because my mother
and father that was an arranged marriage okay they learned to love each other but we also have to
consider the aspects of the different generations that came before us so before they couldn't be
independent women or bad bitches would have hot you know hot girls summers and just go on Tinder
you know keep swiping. Can't relate. You know right but this is like let's say circa 1983 to
the 90s yeah right to the early 90s they could you know they didn't have that you know it was
a lot harder to cheat yes a lot harder to cheat you'd be surprised and so like
it was a lot easier for them to learn to love someone because you truly did accept their flaws
for example and this is not between well like like just love in general like it could be between
man and woman or just something platonic or even something family there's a reason why
there's one deal on the barbecue that no one's allowed to go around you know. That's disgusting
by the way. It's very disgusting but that's the con that's what I'm trying to say what I'm trying
to say is back then that generation was taught to hey if we don't acknowledge it it's not there
so like that generation was taught to not acknowledge things and I guess it wouldn't be there
um a lot of women probably went through and this is not me this is just me speaking in a general
sense not like all women but a lot of women back then would probably be like to this day some people
are some women are victims of domestic abuse but they're like oh he loves me you know they're taught
to deal with it be you know be what they conceive as a woman what they perceive as a woman that's
what I'm looking for so I guess although we're taught to you know you can learn to love I've
seen it happen between my mother and father but there's a lot of arranged marriages that I'll see
like oh yeah she wasn't my first option the fact that you can say that out loud in front of her
I'm like yeah if I was to say that's sherry I'll get slapped yeah and I'm like oh you
motherfucker you was my first option you know to you love was important for you to choose
and that's fair because I feel like that's the way it is for a lot of people
do you feel like your religion and your political beliefs or your family history
has impacted your relationship I guess now this might be a good point to mention that you are
actually in an intercultural relationship so I guess in your response you can tie it as well I
guess yeah in um interracial interfaith yes and in your response you can talk about all of that
and what the different backgrounds in your relationship are and if there's ever been any
any conflicts when it comes to blending those there's been a lot and let me just preface this
by the secret to a good relationship is the three c's I know it sounds corny but it works for me
communication comprehension and compromise communication means nothing without comprehension
if you don't understand what's being communicated it's not going to be there
compromise sometimes you got to swallow the pill if you're wrong you're wrong even when you're right
you have to think is this argument worth being able to say like aha I won that argument but
she's not there in your life no more if you really love shorty or if you really love the dude
you'd swallow that pill so those are the three c's and I know my side of the family for a fact
has given a lot of conflict because I'll be honest she doesn't come to my house as much
my mom always has an excuse and I know that puts a strain because I have a safe space to get away
from my toxic household she doesn't have a safe space to get out of hers so I'd have to take her
out spend like mad right and I don't mind spending the bread money means nothing to me when it comes
to her um but I guess it would be like that's one thing like also again since we're so reputation
based the first thing was oh like at first now my mom's a little more lenient she'll be like oh
like when are you gonna invite her to come over so I can but it's also prefaced by wife duties oh I
can teach you how to cook this I can teach you how to cook that but then I get that my mom is sick
and she's like she's she's pretty sickly and she wants to make sure I'll be taken care of when she
passes a light you know may God lengthen her life give her a very beautiful life but um no one wants
to be invited over just to be taught how to cook that's literally saying oh I think you can't cook
let me teach you yeah you know but that's not how my mom thinks but I know that's probably how my
girl would perceive because no one's gonna like really you know oh why now you know it's been five
years we've been together why now you know my mom had a lot needed a lot of time to accustomed to
like get accustomed to it so I know for a fact my side of the family and culture kind of puts a
strain on it because you yourself as a Dominican woman yeah you know you guys are mad and your
girlfriend is Dominican by the way yes my girlfriend is Dominican um so like which her family has been
nothing but welcoming I mean of course it's gonna be you know like gossiping yes you know and that's
fine it comes with anything it can anyone would gossip you know and when I first met them again
I was 480 plus you know they've seen me through my weight loss which I am not 250 by the way um
most of that from 484 to 250 yeah most of it is loose skin right now I have like 30 pounds of
loose skin once I get I'll be 220 you know and that'll be nice yeah you know the bbl is gonna be crazy
snatched no I'm so proud of you hide your man hide your girl hide you but I'm putting them all
back because I'm loyal but um but if I'm being honest like when it comes to the difference in
cultures like the first like I remember being offered a beer and you know Muslims don't drink
you know so wink wink wink wink right and um you know because I know some you know like I know some
Muslims like yo I'm not eating pork but best believe they smoking and drinking you know yeah
but uh it's just like so the first thing was offered to me was Bernice and a beer I said no
and then she was like you know like oh okay well just different they weren't you know they weren't
you know they weren't accustomed to that thanksgiving you know like they always have a chuleta
with rice not on things even like every day to let that with rice or they'd have a big
bernie on thanksgiving so what I do respect is the fact that they would like change their diet
they didn't have to do that at all but they made me feel safe like going to a house where you know
like they didn't have they didn't have to do that they started they started eating more poultry
okay and beef and fish and that was pretty cool you know I saw the dynamic change you know because
like my my girl herself she said she's not a big fan of pork but if she's a good bernie she's gonna
have to fuck it up of course you know and uh and which I respect that's fine I again she's not
Muslim she doesn't have to be which brings me to my next point um a lot of questions I do get
when I come oh does she have to convert that was a that was the first question her mother asked me
she said if she you know comes with you does she have to put on the hijab I said no
she doesn't I fell in love with her without the hijab why would I force it on her now
yeah and personally I've done soul searching myself I chose when I say I chose to stay Muslim
I chose to say although I was born in a Muslim household I did my research I read all three
monotheistic books in chronological order with all due respect this is gonna be a little
hazi but that's fine if it works for you that's you but me I saw that there was science based
in the Quran and I was like no other book has this and you didn't see science based in the
Bible or the Torah no the Torah I didn't see science at all uh the Bible personally to me
has been changed thousands of times different translations a lot of them got lost to translation
however what I do believe whole like as a whole idea all three were just cousins that pray
different I'm not a religious person to be honest but when I chose to like study it I chose to be
Muslim I chose to study all three and I chose to say Muslim yeah and just to recap so Yusuf you are
a Muslim man from an Arabic background Yemeni specifically and your girlfriend is Dominican
and what is her religious background so it's pretty confusing because although they come from
a very different family her mother went to Pentecostalism okay you know the father you know
the she you know the skirts and everything but her mom doesn't do that she's not like as serious
but like um you know so that's what I always found interesting because although she was very
welcoming a lot of the people in the Pentecostal church would say some things that are kind of
like suggestive towards Muslims and a little thing like a little like ignorant things okay
and things that you've heard from you know they'll ask very like stupid questions like something
that doesn't have to do with us that for some reason they assume that all Muslims are Indian
so like they'll confuse us with Sikhs um or like they'll ask me questions that have to do with
Judaism rather than Islam so just a general ignorance yeah general ignorance okay nine times
out of ten it was never like very rarely I would get ignorance with intent you know like like bad
ignorance very rarely but it has happened so like what is the worst thing that you've heard
having to deal with your intercultural interfaith relationship on both sides I would all right so
from my side when um I was in the ICU for about three months long story short and I'm so sorry
by the way but yes if you can give a quick explanation um I had another awakening in high
school towards senior year and I just wasn't happy with the person I saw in the mirror
again 480 plus I just went on a crash diet which I was intermittent fasting for seven days a week
and working out at the same time only having one meal a day at a seven day I dropped about 80 pounds
within three months that is intense and everyone listening to this this is not an instruction
please hold on do this do not do this at all I was literally declared dead twice on the table
I do not encourage this at all please speak to a nutrition get an actual diet plan and choose
yourself over clothes choose yourself over image it is serious because I have mental issues now
because of this weight loss wow I this is not an instruction do you mind sharing what are some of
the mental issues I have body dysmorphia so I don't see the use if you see right here I see high
school use yeah I see 484 use if I see size 58 use I see second chin use it and it hits me a
little okay it hits me a lot because like I'm a size 40 now I can wear Uniqlo yes that's great
but at what cost you know I almost died well I did die and we'll get into that later but so
when it comes to this I don't I don't instruct anyone get a dietitian get a nutrition plan
explore healthier lifestyles don't do anything that I did so I what I did was very very hard
in a fasting diet working out at the same time I was the most confusing fat person ever in the
face I was skinny as hell but I was still round as heck like I literally looked like an engagement
ring it was bad like don't make me laugh sorry again bad coping mechanism um the jokes um so then
after that I did a gastric bypass I lost another 120 pounds yeah I'm I'm losing weight I'm fitting
in clothes but I had subdermal hematomas under my stomach I was bleeding internal bleeding a lot
I had lost so much weight and so quick like so little time my body didn't recognize what was
happening so I guess there was a leak in the bypass I'm probably leaking this dish I didn't
heal properly so it attacked my pancreas my liver my kidneys and my left lung so how did you get to
the point where you died so I died a little later actually towards the first month of me being in
the hospital wow I like I one day I woke up and it felt like I had like a huge anvil on the left
side of my of my body so I'm thinking hey is this a stroke first thing I did was wiggle my fingers
and smile and like move everything it wasn't a stroke it's just my left side felt heavy and I
couldn't move I had to drag myself with my right side I was using a cane to walk on my bruh and
like they they thought I was just being dramatic no it was bad so it turns out as the bacteria was
attacking my left lung I had a double infectious sorry a double pneumonia and it was an infectious
abscess and my lung my left lung was as if somebody crumpled paper that's how it was it was like that
so long and they had to do an incision in my back and insert metal brackets the worst thing about it
was I got the gastric bypass done at Brooklyn hospital but the clinearest emergency room was
downstate so instead of like quickly operating or like hey oh my gosh something's wrong he's dying
they said we didn't do this gastric bypass we can't touch it wow and I'm like I'm not a
fucking science project motherfucker you know like this is a human being this is me like save me
mother I'm literally dying and um they said oh no we'll just schedule a quick transfer which it
wasn't so quick this just goes to show you the American medical system eat a frank yeah um so
they they got me into an ambulance they rushed me to Brooklyn hospital I'm like literally and I don't
remember some of this this is what my sisters are telling me um because I have five sisters by the
way yeah and they were all they're like fucking power rangers I love them so much and they don't
listen to your podcast but they will after this I love y'all yes um and for the interest of time I
just want to know that moment where I guess you got to the point where you almost died or you did
die so after all that they put me in a medically induced coma to keep my body alive oh my god so
as they were operating I passed away I flatlined like Sherry you remember this you saw my father
cry I didn't see my father cry but um the hospital like the doctors were telling him there's like an
80 chance of me dying and you know to get my affairs in order all that blah blah blah and um
so sorry in the interest of time um so yeah I died I flatlined during the operation during the long
operation and uh so yeah that's pretty much it I remember something happening but sometimes I want
to say that it didn't happen but the only thing I do remember is seeing my grandfather and my aunt
may they both rest in peace are you saying that you went to heaven no I don't think it's heaven
because but you saw some kind of after I saw yeah I feel like there's an afterlife for everyone
what was it like so me it took me to a place in my it took me to a place in my childhood in Yemen
before the war a little known fact about me before John Jay I escaped Yemen during the peak of the
war what war is this for the this is a civil war so like they had a huge problem with after a few
years after the Arab Spring and um it was just bad everyone was doing it Egypt Tunisia Bahrain
you know most of the countries under dictatorship gone got some of them got themselves into worse
even worse dictatorships Yemen was one of them Yemen is one of the biggest humanitarian crisis
of today with cholera starvation all that long story short they were like a lot of missiles a lot
of everything and um that's pretty bad it's getting better now slowly slowly but surely but
yeah so like after that so being in this afterlife limbo whatever I know this doesn't exist anymore
yeah it took me to a river that I used to play around as a kid wow and it doesn't exist because
one of the airstrikes completely turned it into a mini desert it's drought it's drought ridden no
water no nothing so what did your you said you saw your grandparents what did they say to you
no that's when I saw them in the hospital room okay like I like I was like gone yeah but for
some reason I was visualizing the hospital room and I saw them sitting down wow and just like you
know like not cheering me on but they were silent they didn't say anything and in the paranormal
part of the Islamic culture and Arab culture we have to look at the feet if you see someone that
is dead you have to look at the feet if the feet are backward or hoofed like a pig or a donkey it
is a demon oh do not engage it if you don't see their feet if they're or if you see human feet
you can engage okay um so yeah so that's the first thing I did and mind you I lost my grandfather in
2012 and I lost my aunt in 2015 rest in peace yeah yeah rest in peace and um so I was like oh
you know like I'm talking to them and they're just like my grandfather he was very old so he
just gave me like also dementia he also just he just gave me a like thumbs up he had this beautiful
cherry wood cane that he used to get I can't say this word anymore deorian but like he used to be
like a merchant so he went you know beautiful cherry wood cane with a gold dragon so yeah so
like I was like wow all right so why does he have that he's dead so that's when it kind of hit me
like dude I'm seeing dead people am I dead oh my gosh and then it instantly went to the river and
as you know I speak a little bit of a few languages the only things I'm fluent in right now is Arabic
French English Spanish okay um but every language that I know or have tried to learn every voice
I've heard in my life that's the only way I can describe I heard them saying it's not your time
yet like in Arabic I heard I heard you know um it's like it just in collective voices saying it's
not your time and I just woke up do you really think this was the afterlife or was it like a
limbo of some sort I think limbo yeah because the fact that it took me to a place of comfort
wow because limbo I yeah I guess limbo that was the first time the second time I died was when
they were when they had the metal bracket in my lung and my heart just almost gave up it was just
bad um I remember seeing my family reacting so to simplify it astral projection what is that
I saw my own body dead oh my gosh they were in other rooms they were in another room I saw my
mother holding me I saw them arguing over oh I knew oh I knew I should have took him to mom
Sinai they were like going at it and I'm like I'm seeing them argue and I remember trying to
comfort my mother like yo yo mom go me which means like get up go me go me you know I'm like
trying to talk to her and she's not listening I'm like why is she not something right here
my mother's deaf in one ear so I went to the good ear okay and I'm like she's not responding
and all I see is a doctor is rushing and I'm like what the fuck why do I see these doctors
then it hit me I'm like am I dead again the fact that I was able to be aware and say again
yeah kind of hit me I'm like believe it or not there were at times where there were times where
I did want to die because I saw Sherry my girlfriend at the time she was going to Kingsborough
and working and like she was doing all that travel and I was like I just couldn't help but
feel like nothing but a burden but that's not true it no it wasn't it wasn't true and that's
that's where I knew I loved her yeah because I woke up from that coma to seeing her speaking to my
mother I haven't introduced them yet this is like going towards the first year of us being together
and I'm intubated I'm waking up from a coma I see my mother talking to Sherry I wasn't ready for
that I went right the fuck back to sleep I closed my eyes like this went right back again I was like
I was scared I didn't know how to you know nurse comes in saying hey we're seeing activity you
know is he up and then she's like that because I have like a lot of wires to me so slowly but
surely I'm healing they take out the tube and at that time my voice was like this very hoarse
and but you know slowly but my girl was there every day and I think that's what made my mother
accept her she you know because there is interfaith relationships in the Yemeni community there is
intercultural relationships interracial relationships my uncle had one yeah had a
has a whole son I have a half Mexican half Yemeni I swear to god his name is Donald Trump's worst
nightmare oh my what's his name I swear what's the name of the half Yemeni severe Alejandro
Sabel Alcobar de Gonzalez this motherfucker this motherfucker walks in an airport he's getting hit by ice and TSA
and homeland no way but first of all I just want to say thank you like thank you for sharing that
story because that is the story of survival and I'm sure there's people who have been in comas or
other near-death situations who have similar accounts or completely different ones but just
hearing that from your perspective is insane and also something I took from that is literally like
the aesthetic the physical whatever you think society wants from you it's not worth your life
it's not it's not at all I'm bringing it back to your relationship with Sherry yes how do you feel
I don't think we've really got to touch on the worst thing that you've heard so oh from her
and so from her side of the family um during the not really the worst but like so from her side of
the family there would be times where like they would still try to set her up with a guy knowing
she's in a relationship very terrible very toxic on but we won't get in but we will get into that
but Sherry doesn't like it herself she doesn't really look back on it uh that's one oh
oh
oh do you even know my name do you even know my name let's talk about these toxic family members
how do you feel about the toxic family members and how do you let that not impact your relationship
because there's probably other people listening the same way I don't let my toxic family for
example there I have one sister and you know who you are going you I'm sending the link to you
um but you call it she like oh you really want to be with this girl like you don't want to marry a
Yemeni girl be with you you don't want your kids to be Muslim I'm like my kids will be whatever
the fuck they want simple as that because you're trying to force your idea of a happy relationship
you know and I'm like exactly so fuck them so yeah exactly fuck them all but question about that
will you want your kids to be Muslim you are with a Christian yes a woman from a Christian background
so I say this all the time my kids I will teach them the way I researched the decision will be
honestly I'm gonna let kids be kids once they reach the teenage where they want to question
things I won't force any ideas on them because for example I know Muslims who weren't able to
eat pork and the first thing they did when they wanted to become ex-Muslims was eat a ham and
cheese or bacon egg and cheese that's not turkey or beef or some of them that were so indoctrinated
not to drink alcohol you know they'll drink alcohol or smoke bud so I don't want to I don't
want them to grow up in a hypocritical household I want them to be able to enjoy their childhood
and once they become rebels and teenagers and adults I want them to explore so I'll teach them
growing up so that the way so that way they're not ignorant if they have questions I'm always there
the fact that I chose to be Muslim and Hamdillah you know God bless doesn't mean they have to
although it's more preferred in my religion and culture it's so is knowledge knowledge is one of
our key parts of our religion we must seek knowledge so I'll teach them all three monotheistic
religions I'll teach them the you know the basis of all because the base of all is just treat one
as you wish to be treated be a good person all around you know simple as that 100 you know so
my kids don't have to be Muslim yeah you know I'll teach them they'll make that decision that's
beautiful I agree I think allowing kids to be kids and and just giving them that education because
that's the most we can give because a lot of people think when they have kids that it's almost
like they're creating a carbon copy of themselves or an extension of themselves but you're creating
a human who you should want to make their own decisions and eventually if you raise them well
hopefully they'll make the best decisions yes I agree this is another thing I say what they're
gonna do they're gonna do what they want to do whether in your knowledge or without whether in
your presence or without and when you're dead and gone they're probably gonna do everything you told
them not to do yeah so let it happen as it happens that's beautiful now our last segment before
well our second to last segment is about a harsh truth is there anything that you've learned in
recent years through all your experiences that maybe even through your relationship that served
you with a harsh truth if you're healthy if you're happy stay happy if you don't like a
part about yourself work on it to change it don't put yourself at risk to satiate society's standard
of beauty 100% because it cost me my life twice and I'm grateful I thank God every day that I'm
back on my feet being able to hug Sherry once again being able to kiss my mother on her forehead
being able to fast Ramadan with my family again love isn't perfection love isn't perfect
there will be compromise there will be times where you guys are on the verge of breaking up
you're breaking up literally but when you picture life without them and it's not it like
there's a difference between becoming dependent or codependent or just noticing that I don't want
to live life without them it's not that I want to depend on them it's that I want them to be my
partner for the rest of my life I love this person this is my person yeah love is imperfectly perfect
because without it what are we that's that's a great note to end on I agree 100% and thank you
so much for being so transparent so vulnerable on everything and I mean we can go on and on and on
because there's so many layers just the the intensity that you experience in the hospital
and your beautiful love story that's intercultural and interfaith and you guys just seem to rise above
the odds so I am so hopeful for you guys and your love journey and I know that you're invited to all
the weddings yeah so I think you mentioned this earlier but if you'd like to plug your social
media or any account or any things that you'd like to plug this is the time actually this is
gonna sound corny but it's not gonna be my social media it's gonna be her business page on instagram
get you a man that plugs your business page come on now so sh canvases on instagram
uh you know she does like custom she does commissions and yeah she does a lot of great
artwork it's sh canvases on instagram yes support um so has there been a song that you've been
listening to we always do our song of the pod so we'll just pick a song to lead people out to
which is my walkout music later like lately at the gym okay or at work chanbeya by bad bunny
chanbeya okay yeah let's get that I have a very huge playlist of those
well thank you so much for joining us yusef the pleasure's all mine for
amazing to have you and as a reminder to those of you listening please listen to at bronx girl
please follow us at bronx girl at heart podcast on instagram and make sure to listen next time
bye guys