1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,320 Welcome to fit to be real and a little extra. We are celebrating our 20th episode 2 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:15,360 20 I actually didn't realize that until right now. That's crazy. That's 20 weeks straight us. Yes. Yeah. Oh god 3 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:17,360 I know for listening 4 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:24,400 We're celebrating this 20th episode and we're super proud of it 5 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,440 We are talking 6 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:31,440 With one of our favorite people who tells it like it is in a in the nicest way 7 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:39,240 Sometimes she's empowering. She is female strong and she is going to impart a lot of her wisdom 8 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:43,240 On all of us and we are very grateful for it. So let's get into it 9 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,960 I am Victoria. Hey guys, I'm Carly 10 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,960 Oh 11 00:00:55,960 --> 00:01:00,120 I'm really proud of that. Yeah, are you? I'm gonna do that a lot and Carly proud 12 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,840 Uh today we are fit to be gay 13 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:08,440 So we are gonna introduce one of our long long time friends 14 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:15,080 And gosh, she's so many things she wears so many hats. She's a dancer. She is a dance. She's a serious dance teacher 15 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:19,800 school counselor, she's mom of two of the cutest little girls 16 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:24,200 She's a police life and our see fit boot camp instructor 17 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,840 And she's all around 18 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,440 strong 19 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:32,280 Empowered and she's always speaking out for a cause and empowering 20 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:37,000 Pretty much anyone that she talks to her name is Christy Lawler 21 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,760 Yeah, thank you for having me. That was an amazing 22 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:47,160 Um intro. Can you give us a hey guys? I'm Christy. Hey guys. I'm Christy. Oh 23 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:53,000 That was good. Are you taking notes? No, you should be you should absolutely be Christy. That was 24 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,320 One one and done. Thanks. Yeah, that was amazing. That was awesome 25 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:03,800 Thank you for being our first June guest today. I am so happy to be here. Thank you for having me 26 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,960 20th episode 27 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:12,600 Celebrate with Christy very good. Thank you. That was my contribution. Thank you for the recap. I'm queer and I'm here guys 28 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,160 Hey 29 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,440 I'm here for all of your LGBTQIA plus 30 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,480 needs 31 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:28,040 I love it. I think part of me is just excited to find out answers that I've known you my whole life 32 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:33,080 And I've never asked you these questions. Yeah, we have been let's start there. We've been friends with Christy 33 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:40,040 When did you start at the studio? I think fifth or sixth grade and then um, I never left. She never left. I just never left 34 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:45,560 Became a teacher is what you mean. You dance. Yeah, so I danced through high school 35 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:51,400 And my senior year was our first concert. Oh, that's right. And then um, 36 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,840 I went to college westchester university. What what and then 37 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,800 I was there about two weeks or maybe a month total and the studio 38 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,640 You know in college you go in august and the studio usually starts mid september. Yeah 39 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:08,440 I remember being like calling your mom or like showing up one day and like crying be like i'm bored 40 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,440 and I please work because 41 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:16,760 I don't I was so used to you know, like how we are like running around doing a million things and then 42 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,280 It wasn't there and I was like I miss dance. I miss the studio. I miss 43 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,640 I feel like that's you in a nutshell 44 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:28,600 Like you don't know how to stop and you are doing a million things every single day 45 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,960 That's why you have so many jobs and you wear so many hats 46 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,800 You're right. Yeah, I definitely I've been working on that car 47 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,720 I've been working on that car. 2020 helped with that. But yeah, that is I am a very 48 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,440 sometimes overly busy, but 49 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:50,120 I am blessed to like love everything that I do and I feel like that's what makes it even harder to like say no 50 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:51,960 or 51 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,760 Give myself more time because I do love 52 00:03:56,600 --> 00:04:01,000 All the things that I do. Yeah, and you do a lot you have been teaching dance since that 53 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:05,320 Freshman year of college. Yeah, and then you went to school to be a guidance counselor, right? 54 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:09,720 Yeah, so my undergrad degree is in psychology graduate degree is in 55 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:14,120 secondary ed counseling, which means like sixth grade up and 56 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,480 Right when I hadn't even graduated graduate school yet. I got hired 57 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,800 Um at my high school alma mater, which is an all-girl private Catholic school 58 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:26,280 And they were like, hey, will you work? 59 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,640 Will you not leave and just stay here and be a counselor and I was like, yeah 60 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,040 So you're a long term everywhere you go 61 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,680 Yes, that is true 62 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:41,160 Um, yeah, that's so true. She finds something she likes and she just stays and I'm like, sure you're gonna pay me and yeah, absolutely 63 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,160 so I stayed and 64 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:51,640 Yeah, and I continued to teach dance at Carmella's dance studio and um when I was working at the high school I was 65 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:58,680 Involved as their assistant swimming coach. They're cheerleading coach. I was an adult 66 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:05,640 Leader for their peer ministry group, which is like a group of students who leads like the retreats and runs that kind of stuff 67 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,960 I was an adult leader on like their chairo's retreats. If you guys remember chairo's from o'hara 68 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:14,120 Chairo's is a religious retreat in high school that you go to usually as a senior 69 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:19,080 Um to like get to know yourself and your friends and sort of spiritual 70 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:25,160 Yeah, so that's and then I still I work at another dance studio out in chester county now and 71 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,600 And you teach for see fit and I of course 72 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:35,160 Teacher see fit needless to say you're a people person like you're in service. Yes in all of these facets 73 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:40,440 Yes, I am definitely a helping professional. So when you're in like counseling or like 74 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,520 That kind of degree they call them the helping professions 75 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,880 And that's definitely how I feel like 76 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:54,520 Yeah, wait, you took the personality test. What did you get? So I was the protagonist 77 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,840 Yes, and an assertive one for sure. I was extroverted 78 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:05,720 Um, which is definitely me. I once I'm with people. I just want to keep going. Yeah, like so at the end of the night 79 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:11,320 I am not tired. I am ready to go like let's go dancing all night long. Like that's I got were so different 80 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,840 That's like who I am. Yeah, I love being with people 81 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:15,880 I 82 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,760 Like time could just fly and I'd be fine with it 83 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,320 I would stay up all night if I had like a conversation and 84 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:26,040 I was having a conversation with Christy last week and we were talking about the personality test 85 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,560 And we were together and she said we could be best friends 86 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:34,840 Like I could you could tell me things tell me things. I was like Christy you are like I'm I tell you everything 87 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:38,520 She's like no, you don't I can be there for you. I just tell me everything 88 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,920 It wasn't that assertive 89 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:48,840 I was just like I feel like I could because I was listening to the podcast and whatever the episode was I was like 90 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:52,440 I think you'd actually really I like I'm super loyal 91 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,440 It's like that's like something you look for. I'm like I am that 92 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,560 Christy I've been looking for you 93 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,440 I've been looking for you my whole life in here the whole time 94 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,640 We were in the same dance class all growing up 95 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:07,720 From fifth grade on 96 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:12,120 Yeah, and I don't remember I know you told me you don't remember me being in your house. I don't remember 97 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,720 I remember your mom obviously and I remember 98 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,920 I remember thinking wow, I've never heard anybody say pelvis before 99 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,640 and this is different 100 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:22,840 and 101 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:27,160 I was quiet as your mom loves to tell the story of me being like silent. She thought I hated everything 102 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,840 But I was quiet like for being an extrovert. I'm like very quiet in places if I don't 103 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,200 feel comfortable or first and 104 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,760 Um, I guess that's what I did 105 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,080 Gave off the wrong vibe 106 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:44,120 Yeah, but I just I remember like my friends and I'm like in my own head in my bubble and that's 107 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,840 Okay, Carly could use your counseling services 108 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:55,960 So let's let's travel back to where it all started. I actually remember we would go to nursing homes 109 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,880 I remember standing out front of 110 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,080 One of them and I can't remember the name of it 111 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:08,840 I can picture it very very vividly in my head and you told me you were gay 112 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,920 Good memory. I remember because I looked at you and I was like 113 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,920 Really? 114 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:18,760 You've had a boyfriend for so long like it was a complete 115 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:24,680 Silent shock and then I was like, oh my gosh, this is makes total sense 116 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:32,040 Do you remember this feels so right? I now that you say it I feel like it was the um we're in the parking lot 117 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:40,040 The nursing home maybe and like Bryn Mauer Haverford that one because my girlfriend at the time lived right around the corner from there 118 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:44,440 And like my first girlfriend. Yeah girl that 119 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,200 Allowed me to come out 120 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:55,000 Moved all the pieces in the right direction um lived right around the corner from there and I think that probably is what like 121 00:08:55,800 --> 00:09:00,360 Sparked you to say something. Yeah. Yeah, and I was older like you were you weren't young at the time 122 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,480 No, no, no, no like our age difference. Isn't that great? But like 123 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,360 I was 124 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:13,400 334 and when I like knew when I realized I was gay and then I slowly but 125 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,640 I say slowly but it felt slow to me 126 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,880 but it was like very fast and when you consider like when people realize that 127 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,200 they're not the 128 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,200 binary norm for people to 129 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:29,480 Admit that to other people it usually takes a long long time and I guess in 130 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,640 Relation to those people it was super fast the when I came how I came out, right? 131 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,480 I remember I remember feeling how confident you were in 132 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,080 Just saying that too like it wasn't a question. It wasn't 133 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:47,560 Scared there was no fear. It was just like very matter of fact. That's my assertive part of the personality 134 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:52,760 No, I think that's a good thing because I remember being like, yeah, you are uh-huh. Okay then 135 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:57,720 Awesome, and then all of a sudden you shaved the side of your head. Oh, that was a long time later 136 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:03,160 No, but you were in a relationship with a guy for a very long time who we all knew 137 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:09,320 We all knew him at the recitals. He would come backstage. Yeah, and he would dance. Yeah dance you guys dance to go 138 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:15,880 That's right. Oh my god. I remember him being in love with you and like he was he did not see it coming 139 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,280 Yeah, no, no, no I 140 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,480 In a way didn't see it coming either 141 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,280 I believe everything's on like a spectrum, right? So 142 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:28,760 If our sexuality or who we're attracted to is on a spectrum, I'm probably 143 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,320 Somewhere closer to the middle but on the like 144 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,200 gay side of it 145 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:39,240 Um for sure and I think because when we were growing up there weren't as many 146 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,000 representations of same sex love 147 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:48,040 It wasn't something that my brain went to. Will and Grace was like it 148 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,480 Yeah, and it was just mostly gay men were in the 149 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:55,240 Yeah, limelight and then anything like when Ellen came out 150 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,720 I do remember when that happened and like hearing 151 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,280 Even my own family who is 152 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:06,440 Is like very accepting of all people like saying like she shouldn't have done that, you know and when Rosie O'Donnell like 153 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:11,080 Like like these these female figures like and seeing how that like ruined 154 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:17,480 Their careers and like their relationships of at the time like not like romantic relationships 155 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,480 But just like even with their fans 156 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,880 I like it it seeds somewhere in you right and 157 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:31,320 Just what happens to them and then the reaction of the people around you. So that's why people in the dance and theater world. I think 158 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:39,080 We're always a safe place and just a more loving open accepting environment 159 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:43,080 That's how I always felt about it and I think there's a lot to do with your family 160 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:50,360 Like just being how loving they are and like your mom obviously was always super loving and I feel like she was one of the first people I probably told 161 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:56,120 I mean literally took me two weeks to tell my parents like I realized it and two weeks later. I told my whole family and not 162 00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:01,720 That's fast really really really fast. It takes people years and some people still 163 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,720 It's hard to like look at someone you love like your family like who's like 164 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:11,080 Brought you up and be like I'm like in your brain think I'm about to say something that means 165 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,080 100% I could lose this person 166 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:17,640 But it in the same breath it also makes you a different kind of brave 167 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:22,680 And so when you look at those people and you say that and you're kind of willing to be like 168 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,560 Take me or leave me. Yeah 169 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:30,200 And then you can kind of if you if you're able to like realize that and then try and like 170 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:37,640 Take that strength into all the different areas of your life. It's everybody should have to come out like yeah, because it's a it's a really 171 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:43,000 I think a lot of my strength now has 172 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,120 I always had a certain 173 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,200 amount of it, but I think that has like 174 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:53,480 continued to grow like I didn't go back. I'm trying not to go backwards. I should say yeah, I mean 175 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,840 Once you do that and you're kind of like well you could 176 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,120 Never talk to me again. Well, what did your family say? 177 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,480 so 178 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:08,600 So the actual like the actual day that I told them they because 179 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:13,800 My boyfriend that I was with right before this all happened. It was like for five years 180 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:20,440 We broke up and my family was like I thought you were like you're about to celebrate five years and like I thought you're getting married 181 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:26,280 And I was like I did too and I like vividly remember my mom coming into my bedroom because I moved 182 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:31,960 Back after I was still in grad school. I can't remember I like threw the covers over my face 183 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,960 I'm like because I don't want to be with a guy. Okay. Oh 184 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,400 I want to be with a girl. This is like I was really mean about it actually 185 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,640 And uh, not mean but just like abrasive. Yeah, well leave me alone 186 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:45,480 This I wasn't ready to say this but here I am if you're gonna heart me about it 187 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:49,560 This is this is what you're gonna get this reaction, which obviously so mature but 188 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,880 So they were all just confused kind of like victorious earlier like what like at first 189 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,360 We don't understand like you were just with someone for like 190 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:04,920 I hadn't really give them signs not because I really didn't know no right until I knew when I knew I was like this is it 191 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,360 This is it and then my dad was like having a panic attack pretty much 192 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:12,680 And he was like hyperventilating in our basement and kind of like in his brain like 193 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,720 He was like, oh linda you can like stay here. I'm gonna go 194 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:21,880 Oh my gosh, um, they had like a moment and then that next year was just like strange like 195 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,920 People say the weirdest 196 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,480 Stuff like what some 197 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,960 My cousin who lived with me at the time was like 198 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:37,960 Sex isn't that great like thought it like a lot of people demean it to like just sex. Yeah has nothing 199 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,120 Diminish it. I don't yeah, I don't mean it has nothing to do with that 200 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:49,400 But it's like so much more than right the physicalness of everything and I was looking at this person like what are you even saying like 201 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,440 This is nothing to do with sex. Yeah, this is 202 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:54,440 I mean it 203 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:58,040 It does but it doesn't yes, I know exactly who I am it's like the person 204 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:02,120 I want to spend the rest of my life with is not going to be a man right and that has 205 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,760 Not a whole lot to do with 206 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,200 Sex right it's more like where you feel connected right? 207 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,800 And I obviously had always been missing that I have had lots of boyfriends and that's 208 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:20,600 Whatever and fun fact. Mm-hmm. Christie dated our brother for a hot minute. I did bill's awesome 209 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,600 I do love him 210 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:28,200 Not romantically. I feel like he was the last one where you were like, oh, you know what I'm out. Um 211 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,000 I'm switching genders 212 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,480 She's rolling her eyes at us bill if you're listening don't listen to them 213 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,320 Oh my gosh, that's amazing. Yeah, I give you a lot of credit 214 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,440 I mean I give you credit for a lot of reasons but you did it 215 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:48,120 I didn't realize how quickly you had done it and to break all the conditioning 216 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:55,000 Which is exactly what you just said. I'm just I guess using a different term for it because you grow up in a Catholic family 217 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,320 and you grew up 218 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:04,040 You know just very different than the words that had to come out of your mouth to kind of stand in who you were and stand your ground and it's 219 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,320 It's something that 220 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:13,800 Unfortunately, yeah, I gotta face a lot over the years and probably hopefully it will change at some point 221 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,000 Like the world has got to change, you know agree 222 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,680 But there's so much there's so much strength in coming 223 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:25,320 Coming through a lot of what you say, so I give you a lot of credit for that. Thank you 224 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,520 and I think just for like if there's anybody listening who 225 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,320 Is out or 226 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,840 Is thinking of coming out 227 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,040 There's also this like thing that I don't know that 228 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,600 street people think about but like 229 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:44,520 You almost always have to come out your whole life because there's always a new situation that you're going into like even 230 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:51,160 I'm wearing a love and pride shirt today when you walk around like just knowing that it's not totally safe 231 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,720 Everywhere in the country or world I should say 232 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,120 for the LGBTQIA queer community, I feel like 233 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:04,520 There's always like a level of fear and like 234 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:10,200 If this person finds out or they're gonna look at me different or are they gonna think differently of me? 235 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,440 there's like a questioning but also like 236 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,440 You have to stand strong in who you are 237 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,080 but 238 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:22,200 It's like never-ending you always know but it's easier than coming out to the people you love and cherish 239 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,160 I had I dated a lot of gay guys and 240 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,640 When they would come to me and say hey carly. I have to tell you something. I was like speak no more 241 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:37,000 Just talk to my mom. Just move it along tell carmela. She'll help you out. I don't need you to say it. I know 242 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:42,440 It was like a revolving door of just like oh really you dated me go speak my mom 243 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:50,600 So you were the contributing factors. I was I was there last before talk about an ally the big 244 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,320 the big change 245 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,240 Amazing 246 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,760 So yeah, you have been in the dance theater creative worlds 247 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,400 Basically your whole life and that is one aspect 248 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,160 Like but you've also helped a lot of high school 249 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:12,200 Situations due to counseling and coming through a catholic community and school 250 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,080 What was that like? 251 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,960 the high school I was working at I never ran into any 252 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:23,160 Students who came to me questioning their identity, but 253 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:28,920 Once they graduated and they realized who they were they have reached back out to me 254 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:35,960 Um really and yeah for like either advice or just like talking through it or 255 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:40,600 And that was what the high school I worked with at the dance studio 256 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,200 um 257 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:48,680 Some dancers like in high school would say things that I would like think I'd never want to be like pushy 258 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,720 It like everybody does it in their own time, but 259 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:57,960 There have been other I mean that we've seen at the studio to like people. Um dealing with mental health 260 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:03,880 Um struggles and you're so good with that you can you can see it a mile away and you'll say something 261 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,280 I'll be like, I don't know and then sure enough 262 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,840 Chrissy nailed it on the head 263 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,360 but 264 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:14,680 But yeah, so like in the same thing with the studio though people have come after they graduate and 265 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:20,360 And some some high school students currently like will be like it's really nice to have you there and just be like who you are 266 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,440 To see that to see that you're just like live in a life and 267 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:28,200 Like just being visible. I think is important 268 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:34,280 Even if I don't think I don't I definitely don't think about it every day, but like I do wear most of the times where my um 269 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:43,720 band my rainbow watch band and just because I know like and I wear that most of the year like wherever I am no matter what what 270 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,000 Studio I'm in or at 271 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:55,000 At c-fit or at the high school. I work. I'm always wearing it because even if like one person feels more like comfortable around me because of it 272 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,160 Or knows that I'm not gonna judge them if they're in the community 273 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:05,800 Even if they don't like wonder if I am or not like most people like because they're stereotypes in life 274 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:11,240 Most people look at me and they're not immediately like, oh, you're gay. Um, no, they're not because they're stereotypes 275 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:16,280 And I would say I married the stereotype for sure of a lesbian. Um, but 276 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,120 We love sam can I marry sam? 277 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,280 Shout out to sam 278 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,280 What's up sam? I'll marry you 279 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:28,920 She's taken 280 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,000 Uh, if we ever if we ever bring up 281 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:38,120 And she's already gay so there's no need for you. She won't date me for it. She knows who she is to get to your mother 282 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,120 No 283 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,160 Damn it sam 284 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,480 She might just like you for you 285 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:51,720 She is the best though, but that's true. You are not the stereotypical looking 286 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:56,280 Lesbian and which I learned on sex in the city. Correct me if I'm wrong 287 00:20:56,360 --> 00:21:00,840 I get a lot of my information from sex in the city. I love that you would be called a lipstick lesbian 288 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,000 I 289 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:08,360 Sometimes can look like a lipstick lesbian. That would be like super femme 290 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:09,720 Like I can pull that off 291 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:15,400 I was with you last week when you were in sparkly six inch heels and little shorts and a blazer and you looked very 292 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:22,760 Lipstick. Yes, exactly. So that would be like the she had lipstick on that would be like the other extreme of like butch 293 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,160 butch and then lipstick lesbian, right and I feel like 294 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:31,480 I feel like all these like terms are funny, but they're real and that's why they exist like but it's it's 295 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:35,640 Yeah, I guess I would be somewhere like in the middle, but like I feel like I can 296 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:41,320 I definitely don't feel butch. No, that doesn't resonate with me at all, but I feel like I can 297 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,000 Go like from middle to lipstick if you will 298 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:49,640 I feel like sex in the city is a little dated now too. Damn it. Because it's not still 299 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:57,720 You might need to watch things like queer I I do watch queer. Isn't that the best? Yes. I love queer. I come on 300 00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,800 They're amazing. I cry every episode 301 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:05,800 I feel like it's important to just be yourself. And so sometimes I want to I feel girly and I get my nails done 302 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:09,080 and sometimes I mean girly is like the term I use to like 303 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,480 Everybody understands what I mean by that and then sometimes I just feel like 304 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,520 I don't want to be looked at 305 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:21,080 because in our society like women have historically been objects and 306 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:25,160 So there's something like beautiful about just being like I'm not wearing makeup today 307 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:30,360 and I'm just putting sweatpants on and I'm not doing my hair and I'm leaving the house and 308 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:35,480 You feel this like inner peace of like nobody's objectifying me and I'm not objectifying myself today 309 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,480 And that's like I think the feminist in me coming out 310 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,000 um, but I'm all like wrapped in one. I just think like 311 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:48,520 It's like sometimes I just want my nails done and to like glam up and like wear my sparkly heels because like 312 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,400 Why not? Why not? Yeah, and then other times I'm like, you know like today 313 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:57,480 I'm kind of like wear my rainbow flip flops not that they have anything to do with being gay 314 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,200 But they have a rainbow on them. Wait, this is a fun story 315 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:05,240 I texted Christy on the way to school one day because Melody and I have a little bit of a a little bit 316 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:11,720 A seven minute drive to school and I texted Christy because I said Melody just said this stuff to me 317 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,120 How do I respond to it? 318 00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:19,320 Because Melody said mom she's seven at the time so eight eight at the time and she said mom 319 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:23,560 Um, uh, I think that I might be gay and I was like really? 320 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:28,280 Okay, why and she's like because I really like that rainbow flag 321 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:35,880 Like I I love rainbows and I really like that flag and like she doesn't really know what it means to be gay 322 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:42,200 I mean, we have so many family members that are gay and that are her uncles. I'm doing air quotes uncles 323 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,960 So she knows what it is. Um, she's no problem with it 324 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:50,040 But she was like I really like that flag and I really like those colors 325 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:54,680 And then as she said and I was like, oh that doesn't mean but you can love the flag if you want 326 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,120 And then she said well, maybe I am gay. I said well 327 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:03,960 Do you like boys girl boys more or girls more and she's like, oh, I like them both 328 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:05,960 I was like, all right 329 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:11,000 I need Christy right now because I don't know where to go from here now. What yeah, and then she said, um 330 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:17,560 Well, Christy and Sam are gay and I said they are gay and she said but I think I might be gay because I don't like dresses 331 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:22,440 I would like what's where she wants to wear a suit and I said well, you can absolutely wear a suit 332 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,440 But that still doesn't mean you're gay 333 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,320 And so then we had this whole conversation 334 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,200 But I was texting Christy being like this is what she's saying to me 335 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:34,520 What do I say and she was like let her be happy just let her say whatever she wants 336 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,120 It doesn't mean anything and I was like, I know she doesn't get it 337 00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:44,120 Yeah, but she this is what you don't want to say the wrong thing. I don't because I don't want to lead her in a certain way or 338 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:46,920 Be like, yeah, that you know dismiss her 339 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,040 You don't want to dismiss her because she knows what it is and that eight these kids 340 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,960 They know what it is and that's amazing 341 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:58,600 Like I knew what it was when back when we were eight, but we lived it like we were around it all the time 342 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:04,040 So I just loved hearing the reasoning of an eight-year-old being like I like that like she loves rainbow 343 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:11,400 She's either gay or she's a 90s child because we were everywhere on the trapper keepers. Oh my god, you know 344 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,640 But I just I feel like even going like Carly going to you 345 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,280 you're such a 346 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:19,800 advocate 347 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:26,360 For just be who you are who cares like an end of story for sure so come to Christy's bootcamp class 348 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,720 She'll kick your ass and she will give you some inspirational 349 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:36,280 Motivation as well. Well in saying that we did bring up Sam. You are married. Yep. You had a big old wedding 350 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:41,880 We had the best time at your wedding. Oh, that was the best time and you have two daughters. Yeah 351 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,640 Um that you carried right I did yeah, I carried both 352 00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:50,600 Um, I did yeah, and I had the best time at my wedding. That was a really fun 353 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:55,960 It was a lot of fun. I just danced the whole time and I don't Sam did not have the same experience to stress out the whole time 354 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,440 but um 355 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,160 The wedding was was interesting to plan we 356 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:06,440 It wasn't legal to get married in Pennsylvania at the time and that's how we ended up in ocean city. We loved 357 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:13,160 Yeah, I didn't realize that that's why we had already obviously july before september planned the wedding in new jersey because it was legal 358 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:19,800 They are at the time because my mom didn't really know how to act because it was an air quotes gay wedding 359 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,600 she um 360 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,840 She was like it added a different layer of stress because she was like 361 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:30,840 I don't even know what i'm supposed to be doing at this gay wedding. So like I mean it's a wedding 362 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:32,600 We were like well, okay 363 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:36,680 I can't get married in the catholic church, which is you know what my cousin had done months before my 364 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:42,280 My wedding which was an emotional thing because I had always been I'm a very very spiritual person 365 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,400 And I had grown up in the catholic church worked at a catholic school 366 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:49,880 I would say faith means so much to me not so much religion, but faith is 367 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,360 Paramount in my life. So like that was emotional in of itself, but 368 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:56,600 I think that positive of my mom being so like 369 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:01,320 Kind of bizarre that year was everybody invited is because I wanted them to be there 370 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:06,040 And that was super empowering because there's a lot of stories of people who don't 371 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:12,280 Really have that or they end up with like 500 people, but it's like I really don't know these people or my mom said I had to and 372 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:17,000 um, I didn't have that and so that was fabulous and I think that's part of why I was able to 373 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:22,200 Have such a great time and then sam and I knew we wanted to have a family 374 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:28,200 Um, sam is seven years older and she was like, I don't want to be like the old person with the young kids 375 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:36,040 Can we do this soon and we're like can we do this soon? Sure we can so we obviously needed fertility 376 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:42,120 Because neither of us have sperm and in order to create a human you need an agonist verb. That's insane 377 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,280 so we 378 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,280 We went to fertility and 379 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,920 Yeah, we got to pick our guy was kind of like online dating 380 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:54,680 Um, you hear an interview of their voice. You see a young child picture and then you buy sperm 381 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,840 It's better than online dating. You don't have to deal with them 382 00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,160 So true 383 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:03,320 However, I know it's am and I met online. No, you did. I didn't realize that 384 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,880 I don't remember that at all. Yeah, same. It was just all of a sudden there. I know 385 00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:14,440 Yeah, I was online for a long time dating. I say long time maybe three years. You're a long time 386 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:21,080 I'm learning. I know not that long. So you're online for three years. Get out of my house. Yeah, that's not a long time 387 00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:28,280 It was like well, you guys like your schedule like our schedules are bizarre like when you work in 388 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:34,520 Dance and fitness and like you don't have a normal like nine to five schedule where you go to happy hours and like meet people or 389 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:35,400 Oh, yeah 390 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:40,680 Have an office where you're going to be meeting new people and turn around so it's there was no other way like especially 391 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,320 I was working at a Catholic school. I wasn't meeting another lesbian there 392 00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:46,520 Yeah, so I can imagine you weren't um, it was 393 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,200 Wait, the best is okay 394 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,520 You it's your 395 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:59,640 Egg and it's the sperm that you picked in the fertility clinic when our mom will go up to christine be like, oh my gosh 396 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:07,080 Ava looks just like sam and you're like, no, she does. Yes. She does. Yes. She does miss carmel. There's no sam in ava 397 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:14,920 Uh, and you're like carmelo. Get it together. Yeah, she probably means her behavior or yes, let's say that 398 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,240 In your mom's defense ava does have blue eyes just like sam 399 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,120 And a little bit fairer skin 400 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,880 More like sam than me. Well, definitely looks more like me right now 401 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:32,200 And people wonder all the time like if ava was like even sam's own family is like, are you sure ava didn't come out of you? 402 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:38,600 Really? So like the fact that your mom said that is like hilarious because she knows we're with gay and like she knew I was obviously pregnant while teaching at the studio 403 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:45,320 Now have you like she called they call you mom. What do they call you mommy christie and mommy sam. They do 404 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:51,960 Yeah, especially when we're together they'll signify by doing that and that and no while started that my oldest started that 405 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:57,480 Like if it's just me, they'll be like mom. Yeah, but if we're both there, but no, I'm not talking to you. I want mommy's tam 406 00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,640 I'm like, oh, okay 407 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,200 Got it. I'm not the wanted one right now 408 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:08,680 And they haven't faced anything in school. I mean, they're so young. No one's yeah, they have people have said in kindergarten 409 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:16,840 Yeah, boys said something like my mom said it's like weird. You have two moms or like pretty like benign stuff 410 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:22,280 But still enough that it's like, yeah, you already setting the fire in me. Well, there it is 411 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:28,040 It's kindergarten and it's already stemming from the parents. My mommy said it's all what you teach them people 412 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:32,520 It is and it's like our society still like upholds heterosexual 413 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:37,800 Relationships Disney has done a really good job of like pulling away from damsel and distress prince comes to save 414 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,200 That's true a love interest in the story 415 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:45,080 But even when there are it's typically still my own kids like why don't we have a dad? 416 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:50,600 Really, do you know because like even though it's the only thing they know like every tv show they watch every movie 417 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:57,320 They've seen there's always a male love interest. So it's just I can't society gives them. I'm shocked 418 00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:01,480 I did I would not have said that somebody like they would have heard that yet because they are 419 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:05,320 Holds no, well, she's six. Yeah, that's your oldest 420 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:11,720 But I did tell you the other day that dean wore nail polish to school because you know 421 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:17,160 Carmela painted his nails blue and went to school and a little boy said to him nail polishes for girls 422 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,160 Now, how did that three-year-old know? 423 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:25,880 That nail polish is just for girls parents. He was told right exactly and of course dean said blue's my favorite color 424 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:29,880 Uh mind your own business. I love that. So we need more deans in the world 425 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,480 It's like so what do you tell like what would you 426 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:37,720 say to your kids to anybody who? 427 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:43,480 Faces this adversity in school conversations and coming home and you know talking to you about it 428 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:52,360 And you're even you're counseling students for my kids specifically. I think just building a really loving and accepting community around them 429 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:57,960 Um is important and I think we already have that even if it's happening in school 430 00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:04,120 They're like, well, Lewis and melody still love me or Julian still love me and my family's still there 431 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:07,160 And they don't care. Yeah 432 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,760 I feel like something that protected me growing up was having and you guys I don't know 433 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:15,480 You guys feel the same way like just I didn't really care what was happening in school or like pay attention because it was like 434 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,480 I had all these other like my family was like my 435 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,000 Yeah, it didn't really matter. So like we had family 436 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:25,400 We had so much fun. I didn't really get caught up in like school drama because we also got to go home and not 437 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:31,400 Deal with it. Yes, like there were no phones to know what everyone else was doing on the off hours 438 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:37,160 Yeah, so right now like when Noel came home with that I was just kind of like well, you know, you just gotta be nice 439 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:41,880 You gotta be kind like he doesn't know what he's talking about like I kind of like dismissed stupid comments like that 440 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:46,440 Yeah, that shouldn't have any weight because it's and I'll ask her like did that bother you and she's like no 441 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:51,640 He just probably doesn't know that there's people who have different families that have two moms or two dads or like 442 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:56,600 One mom or one dad and we've been telling them that since they could like understand like she's brilliant 443 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:01,080 Like drop mic. There's like some families like not you don't even have to be gay 444 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,680 You can have just a different family parents die parents leave parents 445 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:08,040 I think the people try to be this perfect cookie cutter 446 00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:10,840 Whatever that even means anymore 447 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:11,800 guys 448 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:13,800 I'm coming out right now 449 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:18,040 As straight and I feel like if you have to come out 450 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,880 I have to come out too because it's the same thing like why do you have to come out? 451 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,760 But I but I don't you know what I mean wouldn't that be the ultimate goal? 452 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:25,640 That's what I mean 453 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,560 That's what I would love to be the ultimate girl goal is who why are you coming out? 454 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,120 Who cares you don't you shouldn't have to 455 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:36,360 Who cares as long and my response my mom taught me this as long as she nice 456 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:41,720 Yeah, as long as it doesn't matter what you look like because beauty fades and it's the inside that matters 457 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:47,880 And that's like something I like to have tattooed on me like it's what beauty is found within like I don't 458 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,280 Your external shell means nothing 459 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,360 And it's like I feel like very passionate about that 460 00:33:55,320 --> 00:34:01,560 And so I just think like that goes for I mean if you can just live by that you'll stop commenting on 461 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:08,040 The outside and the stereotypes. Yeah for sure. Whatever you love. Love it. I have one last question 462 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:13,080 Which I think I know actually I walked in and said to Victoria. I don't know the answer to this and now I feel stupid 463 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,320 That I didn't know the answer you celebrate pride 464 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:21,240 Yeah, yes, do you celebrate it? I mean to me I was thinking Christy celebrates it all year around 465 00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:25,000 Why why does she celebrate pride you but you answer it? I'm definitely pro-pride 466 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:31,720 um, there's just a level of comfort that comes with people who you know are 467 00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,000 similar in a certain way to you whether that's like 468 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:40,760 I don't know what I'm trying to say. So we don't feel imposter syndrome. You feel like that's where you belong and everyone is 469 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:48,120 Thinks the same way that you do and it's okay. It's accepted. You feel accepted. The fear is gone. The fear of un-controllableness 470 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:53,000 Except for now. Well, yeah, so like even when I would go to pride 471 00:34:53,800 --> 00:35:02,280 Years ago, um, there's always a you know, the people like reaching. Oh Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve whatever like this 472 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,320 Adam and Steve. I'm sorry. What? Oh, you've never heard this? No 473 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:10,360 People like it'll have signs like Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve like you're going to hell blah blah blah all this 474 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,640 I'm obsessed with Adam and Steve. I want to sure that says Adam and Steve 475 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:22,600 That would be awesome. HBIC make it happen Adam and Steve. Um, so yeah, so like you'd have those people but they were still like pretty non-threatening but 476 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,320 just even with 477 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:31,480 Like the little things like you hear about like I follow a lot of like gay times on instagram like the the sites that I follow 478 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,480 on instagram like keep you informed about like 479 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,520 positive and scary things that are happening in our world today 480 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,480 And so now that I have kids like in my heart 481 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:45,960 I want to take them to pride and let them see like the dry queens going down the pride and everybody dressed in the rainbows and there's like 482 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,880 Having a blast just like loving love and 483 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:57,480 Love yeah, like it's joy. I just don't understand like why there is anybody on the earth that's like, ehh 484 00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:03,080 Ehh, like why why do you care? Why do you like it's like I don't understand how you could hate on any 485 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,440 Group of people that's preaching love. Yeah, that's true 486 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:07,960 Just doesn't make sense to me 487 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:13,160 And our mom took us to pride in New York when we were little well we were in New York 488 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,680 It happened to be the pride parade and we were 489 00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:21,720 In love with it. Oh my god. It was so much fun, but I'll never forget. I was actually just gonna bring this up 490 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,880 We were walking and it was the first. I don't know how old we were. I don't remember 491 00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:29,560 We really was like 12. I must have been eight and you were maybe five 492 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,920 Yes, and I said this might be one of my first memories because I actually remember this 493 00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:39,640 So we're standing on the the sidewalk and I'm holding my mom's hand and I look up and there's like a float going by 494 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:41,800 of these 495 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:43,800 burly cheerleaders 496 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,920 Like the hairiest cheerleaders you've ever seen 497 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:51,400 Having the best time dancing on the top of this float and I remember being like, where are we? 498 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:56,360 Yeah, did like I felt like we were in Oz like we were in like a brand new world 499 00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:00,360 And we had walked into this realm and everyone was just having the best time 500 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:02,920 And that's that's all I remember 501 00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:07,560 But I will never forget it and I was really really young and I don't remember any bad things that happened 502 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,200 But yeah, it's a very different world today. So who knows but yeah 503 00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:14,120 And I don't think it's typical for the bad things to happen, but it is very much the way you're describing it 504 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,200 Just this different world. Yeah 505 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:23,880 We're gonna play a game. Let's do it. Are you ready to play a game? I'm very competitive 506 00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:26,680 Good because you're playing against yourself 507 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,520 It's a little less fun, but okay, so her name 508 00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:36,520 Is christie lawler and this game is called laying down the law. Let's go 509 00:37:37,240 --> 00:37:42,680 You are way too proud. You are way too proud of this title. She wouldn't tell me earlier. We love a proud carly 510 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,240 Oh my god, we're gonna lay down the law 511 00:37:45,240 --> 00:37:46,920 Lawler 512 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:54,920 Okay, it's rapid fire. Okay ready set Doritos or sun chips Doritos coffee or tea coffee morning person or night person morning 513 00:37:55,640 --> 00:38:00,920 Wine or mixed drink wine feature mountains beach jay low or Beyonce jay low 514 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:08,360 Dinner or dessert dinner. Oh can only or tear me so can only girls or boys girls 515 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,040 Popper modern 516 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,760 I'm stuck 517 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:18,120 Waits or cardio wait full house or friends 518 00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:20,920 neither 519 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,000 Christmas cookie baking or eating 520 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,560 Eating carly or victoria 521 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,520 No 522 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,320 I will not pick between the sisters 523 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:40,280 Someday you're gonna get someone one day you're gonna get someone who says your name guess what christie you won 524 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,000 yas queen 525 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,640 I'm queer. I'm here and I won 526 00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:48,680 She is fit to be all of those 527 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:56,120 That was awesome. Thank you so much. I feel like there's so 528 00:38:56,920 --> 00:39:01,320 Many people who are going to take so much away from this one conversation 529 00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:07,320 Us included. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so it's it's so helpful to just get out there 530 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,640 Get it out not just for this month 531 00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:16,280 Even though this month is the time to be able to see and hear a lot of people talking about it all at once 532 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:18,280 which is great, but 533 00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:19,800 share this episode 534 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:25,880 With your friends with your family with people who you think need to hear it with people who you think will just enjoy to hear it 535 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,200 but sharing 536 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:34,600 Sharing is caring. I was just gonna say that and also go get your butt kicked at boot camp with christie. My god 537 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,000 Yeah, it is a good 538 00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:39,240 class twice a week 539 00:39:39,240 --> 00:39:41,480 Sometimes sundays to check out the schedule 540 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:45,960 We're gonna finish this off with christie giving us a real tip 541 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:56,120 So first I want to say thank you for having me. I really appreciate it and thank you for being allies hardcore allies and 542 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,880 It's amazing to have people in my life, especially that I work for that 543 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:01,880 I know 544 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:03,880 would like 545 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,920 Just cut a bit. I was gonna say drop kick a bitch 546 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:13,480 So it's it means more than I could ever say but your real tip for this 547 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:19,080 20th episode and pride month would be to take the time to get to know who you are 548 00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:24,520 and just live that way and and find how you can 549 00:40:25,720 --> 00:40:30,680 really love yourself because that's the most important relationship you're ever going to have and 550 00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:38,120 And be content and we all have ups and downs but really just like find out who you are and the most beautiful thing about that is 551 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:45,400 We all change day in day out. So really like it can change tomorrow like whatever that means to you but 552 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:49,400 Be who you are and love that person and be secure enough to 553 00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:54,760 And it's a journey to really just like show up in every situation you are that way 554 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,640 and to make it a little extra 555 00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:01,320 If you want to go extra if you are like loving yourself feeling yourself 556 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:06,520 For pride month just where all the rainbows go seek out that 557 00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:10,440 gay bar lesbian bar have fun with the best of us and 558 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:16,200 Just you know wave the wave the rainbow flag around if you don't want to do it for you do it for me 559 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:23,240 And um, yeah, that was awesome. That is so good because I do think a lot of people think 560 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:28,600 Oh, I can't wear the rainbow flag people are going to think that I'm gay, but it doesn't mean that it means that you support 561 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:35,000 Other people who support other people, right? So you do that is probably the best extra tip ever 562 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:41,240 It's the same reason you wear a c-fit shirt. You're supporting c-fit. It's the same reason you wear any brand that you support 563 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:45,240 You're supporting them. Where are the flag? Where the rainbow flag? I agree. I love it 564 00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,840 Well, if you have learned nothing else today 565 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:56,840 It is so prevalent that you are fit to be the realist and you are always allowed to be the most 566 00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,320 extra 567 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,840 And gay 568 00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,200 Bye 569 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:16,440 For legal reasons we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and educational purposes only we are not health care professionals 570 00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:24,840 For all of your health wellness fitness and self-care needs, please refer to the medical professional in your life your primary care physician 571 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,000 Your therapist a certified coach 572 00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:28,680 Whoever it may be 573 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:32,280 And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to 574 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:34,440 Okay 575 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:46,440 Okay, bye