Welcome to fit to be real and a little extra. We are celebrating our 20th episode
20 I actually didn't realize that until right now. That's crazy. That's 20 weeks straight us. Yes. Yeah. Oh god
I know for listening
We're celebrating this 20th episode and we're super proud of it
We are talking
With one of our favorite people who tells it like it is in a in the nicest way
Sometimes she's empowering. She is female strong and she is going to impart a lot of her wisdom
On all of us and we are very grateful for it. So let's get into it
I am Victoria. Hey guys, I'm Carly
Oh
I'm really proud of that. Yeah, are you? I'm gonna do that a lot and Carly proud
Uh today we are fit to be gay
So we are gonna introduce one of our long long time friends
And gosh, she's so many things she wears so many hats. She's a dancer. She is a dance. She's a serious dance teacher
school counselor, she's mom of two of the cutest little girls
She's a police life and our see fit boot camp instructor
And she's all around
strong
Empowered and she's always speaking out for a cause and empowering
Pretty much anyone that she talks to her name is Christy Lawler
Yeah, thank you for having me. That was an amazing
Um intro. Can you give us a hey guys? I'm Christy. Hey guys. I'm Christy. Oh
That was good. Are you taking notes? No, you should be you should absolutely be Christy. That was
One one and done. Thanks. Yeah, that was amazing. That was awesome
Thank you for being our first June guest today. I am so happy to be here. Thank you for having me
20th episode
Celebrate with Christy very good. Thank you. That was my contribution. Thank you for the recap. I'm queer and I'm here guys
Hey
I'm here for all of your LGBTQIA plus
needs
I love it. I think part of me is just excited to find out answers that I've known you my whole life
And I've never asked you these questions. Yeah, we have been let's start there. We've been friends with Christy
When did you start at the studio? I think fifth or sixth grade and then um, I never left. She never left. I just never left
Became a teacher is what you mean. You dance. Yeah, so I danced through high school
And my senior year was our first concert. Oh, that's right. And then um,
I went to college westchester university. What what and then
I was there about two weeks or maybe a month total and the studio
You know in college you go in august and the studio usually starts mid september. Yeah
I remember being like calling your mom or like showing up one day and like crying be like i'm bored
and I please work because
I don't I was so used to you know, like how we are like running around doing a million things and then
It wasn't there and I was like I miss dance. I miss the studio. I miss
I feel like that's you in a nutshell
Like you don't know how to stop and you are doing a million things every single day
That's why you have so many jobs and you wear so many hats
You're right. Yeah, I definitely I've been working on that car
I've been working on that car. 2020 helped with that. But yeah, that is I am a very
sometimes overly busy, but
I am blessed to like love everything that I do and I feel like that's what makes it even harder to like say no
or
Give myself more time because I do love
All the things that I do. Yeah, and you do a lot you have been teaching dance since that
Freshman year of college. Yeah, and then you went to school to be a guidance counselor, right?
Yeah, so my undergrad degree is in psychology graduate degree is in
secondary ed counseling, which means like sixth grade up and
Right when I hadn't even graduated graduate school yet. I got hired
Um at my high school alma mater, which is an all-girl private Catholic school
And they were like, hey, will you work?
Will you not leave and just stay here and be a counselor and I was like, yeah
So you're a long term everywhere you go
Yes, that is true
Um, yeah, that's so true. She finds something she likes and she just stays and I'm like, sure you're gonna pay me and yeah, absolutely
so I stayed and
Yeah, and I continued to teach dance at Carmella's dance studio and um when I was working at the high school I was
Involved as their assistant swimming coach. They're cheerleading coach. I was an adult
Leader for their peer ministry group, which is like a group of students who leads like the retreats and runs that kind of stuff
I was an adult leader on like their chairo's retreats. If you guys remember chairo's from o'hara
Chairo's is a religious retreat in high school that you go to usually as a senior
Um to like get to know yourself and your friends and sort of spiritual
Yeah, so that's and then I still I work at another dance studio out in chester county now and
And you teach for see fit and I of course
Teacher see fit needless to say you're a people person like you're in service. Yes in all of these facets
Yes, I am definitely a helping professional. So when you're in like counseling or like
That kind of degree they call them the helping professions
And that's definitely how I feel like
Yeah, wait, you took the personality test. What did you get? So I was the protagonist
Yes, and an assertive one for sure. I was extroverted
Um, which is definitely me. I once I'm with people. I just want to keep going. Yeah, like so at the end of the night
I am not tired. I am ready to go like let's go dancing all night long. Like that's I got were so different
That's like who I am. Yeah, I love being with people
I
Like time could just fly and I'd be fine with it
I would stay up all night if I had like a conversation and
I was having a conversation with Christy last week and we were talking about the personality test
And we were together and she said we could be best friends
Like I could you could tell me things tell me things. I was like Christy you are like I'm I tell you everything
She's like no, you don't I can be there for you. I just tell me everything
It wasn't that assertive
I was just like I feel like I could because I was listening to the podcast and whatever the episode was I was like
I think you'd actually really I like I'm super loyal
It's like that's like something you look for. I'm like I am that
Christy I've been looking for you
I've been looking for you my whole life in here the whole time
We were in the same dance class all growing up
From fifth grade on
Yeah, and I don't remember I know you told me you don't remember me being in your house. I don't remember
I remember your mom obviously and I remember
I remember thinking wow, I've never heard anybody say pelvis before
and this is different
and
I was quiet as your mom loves to tell the story of me being like silent. She thought I hated everything
But I was quiet like for being an extrovert. I'm like very quiet in places if I don't
feel comfortable or first and
Um, I guess that's what I did
Gave off the wrong vibe
Yeah, but I just I remember like my friends and I'm like in my own head in my bubble and that's
Okay, Carly could use your counseling services
So let's let's travel back to where it all started. I actually remember we would go to nursing homes
I remember standing out front of
One of them and I can't remember the name of it
I can picture it very very vividly in my head and you told me you were gay
Good memory. I remember because I looked at you and I was like
Really?
You've had a boyfriend for so long like it was a complete
Silent shock and then I was like, oh my gosh, this is makes total sense
Do you remember this feels so right? I now that you say it I feel like it was the um we're in the parking lot
The nursing home maybe and like Bryn Mauer Haverford that one because my girlfriend at the time lived right around the corner from there
And like my first girlfriend. Yeah girl that
Allowed me to come out
Moved all the pieces in the right direction um lived right around the corner from there and I think that probably is what like
Sparked you to say something. Yeah. Yeah, and I was older like you were you weren't young at the time
No, no, no, no like our age difference. Isn't that great? But like
I was
334 and when I like knew when I realized I was gay and then I slowly but
I say slowly but it felt slow to me
but it was like very fast and when you consider like when people realize that
they're not the
binary norm for people to
Admit that to other people it usually takes a long long time and I guess in
Relation to those people it was super fast the when I came how I came out, right?
I remember I remember feeling how confident you were in
Just saying that too like it wasn't a question. It wasn't
Scared there was no fear. It was just like very matter of fact. That's my assertive part of the personality
No, I think that's a good thing because I remember being like, yeah, you are uh-huh. Okay then
Awesome, and then all of a sudden you shaved the side of your head. Oh, that was a long time later
No, but you were in a relationship with a guy for a very long time who we all knew
We all knew him at the recitals. He would come backstage. Yeah, and he would dance. Yeah dance you guys dance to go
That's right. Oh my god. I remember him being in love with you and like he was he did not see it coming
Yeah, no, no, no I
In a way didn't see it coming either
I believe everything's on like a spectrum, right? So
If our sexuality or who we're attracted to is on a spectrum, I'm probably
Somewhere closer to the middle but on the like
gay side of it
Um for sure and I think because when we were growing up there weren't as many
representations of same sex love
It wasn't something that my brain went to. Will and Grace was like it
Yeah, and it was just mostly gay men were in the
Yeah, limelight and then anything like when Ellen came out
I do remember when that happened and like hearing
Even my own family who is
Is like very accepting of all people like saying like she shouldn't have done that, you know and when Rosie O'Donnell like
Like like these these female figures like and seeing how that like ruined
Their careers and like their relationships of at the time like not like romantic relationships
But just like even with their fans
I like it it seeds somewhere in you right and
Just what happens to them and then the reaction of the people around you. So that's why people in the dance and theater world. I think
We're always a safe place and just a more loving open accepting environment
That's how I always felt about it and I think there's a lot to do with your family
Like just being how loving they are and like your mom obviously was always super loving and I feel like she was one of the first people I probably told
I mean literally took me two weeks to tell my parents like I realized it and two weeks later. I told my whole family and not
That's fast really really really fast. It takes people years and some people still
It's hard to like look at someone you love like your family like who's like
Brought you up and be like I'm like in your brain think I'm about to say something that means
100% I could lose this person
But it in the same breath it also makes you a different kind of brave
And so when you look at those people and you say that and you're kind of willing to be like
Take me or leave me. Yeah
And then you can kind of if you if you're able to like realize that and then try and like
Take that strength into all the different areas of your life. It's everybody should have to come out like yeah, because it's a it's a really
I think a lot of my strength now has
I always had a certain
amount of it, but I think that has like
continued to grow like I didn't go back. I'm trying not to go backwards. I should say yeah, I mean
Once you do that and you're kind of like well you could
Never talk to me again. Well, what did your family say?
so
So the actual like the actual day that I told them they because
My boyfriend that I was with right before this all happened. It was like for five years
We broke up and my family was like I thought you were like you're about to celebrate five years and like I thought you're getting married
And I was like I did too and I like vividly remember my mom coming into my bedroom because I moved
Back after I was still in grad school. I can't remember I like threw the covers over my face
I'm like because I don't want to be with a guy. Okay. Oh
I want to be with a girl. This is like I was really mean about it actually
And uh, not mean but just like abrasive. Yeah, well leave me alone
This I wasn't ready to say this but here I am if you're gonna heart me about it
This is this is what you're gonna get this reaction, which obviously so mature but
So they were all just confused kind of like victorious earlier like what like at first
We don't understand like you were just with someone for like
I hadn't really give them signs not because I really didn't know no right until I knew when I knew I was like this is it
This is it and then my dad was like having a panic attack pretty much
And he was like hyperventilating in our basement and kind of like in his brain like
He was like, oh linda you can like stay here. I'm gonna go
Oh my gosh, um, they had like a moment and then that next year was just like strange like
People say the weirdest
Stuff like what some
My cousin who lived with me at the time was like
Sex isn't that great like thought it like a lot of people demean it to like just sex. Yeah has nothing
Diminish it. I don't yeah, I don't mean it has nothing to do with that
But it's like so much more than right the physicalness of everything and I was looking at this person like what are you even saying like
This is nothing to do with sex. Yeah, this is
I mean it
It does but it doesn't yes, I know exactly who I am it's like the person
I want to spend the rest of my life with is not going to be a man right and that has
Not a whole lot to do with
Sex right it's more like where you feel connected right?
And I obviously had always been missing that I have had lots of boyfriends and that's
Whatever and fun fact. Mm-hmm. Christie dated our brother for a hot minute. I did bill's awesome
I do love him
Not romantically. I feel like he was the last one where you were like, oh, you know what I'm out. Um
I'm switching genders
She's rolling her eyes at us bill if you're listening don't listen to them
Oh my gosh, that's amazing. Yeah, I give you a lot of credit
I mean I give you credit for a lot of reasons but you did it
I didn't realize how quickly you had done it and to break all the conditioning
Which is exactly what you just said. I'm just I guess using a different term for it because you grow up in a Catholic family
and you grew up
You know just very different than the words that had to come out of your mouth to kind of stand in who you were and stand your ground and it's
It's something that
Unfortunately, yeah, I gotta face a lot over the years and probably hopefully it will change at some point
Like the world has got to change, you know agree
But there's so much there's so much strength in coming
Coming through a lot of what you say, so I give you a lot of credit for that. Thank you
and I think just for like if there's anybody listening who
Is out or
Is thinking of coming out
There's also this like thing that I don't know that
street people think about but like
You almost always have to come out your whole life because there's always a new situation that you're going into like even
I'm wearing a love and pride shirt today when you walk around like just knowing that it's not totally safe
Everywhere in the country or world I should say
for the LGBTQIA queer community, I feel like
There's always like a level of fear and like
If this person finds out or they're gonna look at me different or are they gonna think differently of me?
there's like a questioning but also like
You have to stand strong in who you are
but
It's like never-ending you always know but it's easier than coming out to the people you love and cherish
I had I dated a lot of gay guys and
When they would come to me and say hey carly. I have to tell you something. I was like speak no more
Just talk to my mom. Just move it along tell carmela. She'll help you out. I don't need you to say it. I know
It was like a revolving door of just like oh really you dated me go speak my mom
So you were the contributing factors. I was I was there last before talk about an ally the big
the big change
Amazing
So yeah, you have been in the dance theater creative worlds
Basically your whole life and that is one aspect
Like but you've also helped a lot of high school
Situations due to counseling and coming through a catholic community and school
What was that like?
the high school I was working at I never ran into any
Students who came to me questioning their identity, but
Once they graduated and they realized who they were they have reached back out to me
Um really and yeah for like either advice or just like talking through it or
And that was what the high school I worked with at the dance studio
um
Some dancers like in high school would say things that I would like think I'd never want to be like pushy
It like everybody does it in their own time, but
There have been other I mean that we've seen at the studio to like people. Um dealing with mental health
Um struggles and you're so good with that you can you can see it a mile away and you'll say something
I'll be like, I don't know and then sure enough
Chrissy nailed it on the head
but
But yeah, so like in the same thing with the studio though people have come after they graduate and
And some some high school students currently like will be like it's really nice to have you there and just be like who you are
To see that to see that you're just like live in a life and
Like just being visible. I think is important
Even if I don't think I don't I definitely don't think about it every day, but like I do wear most of the times where my um
band my rainbow watch band and just because I know like and I wear that most of the year like wherever I am no matter what what
Studio I'm in or at
At c-fit or at the high school. I work. I'm always wearing it because even if like one person feels more like comfortable around me because of it
Or knows that I'm not gonna judge them if they're in the community
Even if they don't like wonder if I am or not like most people like because they're stereotypes in life
Most people look at me and they're not immediately like, oh, you're gay. Um, no, they're not because they're stereotypes
And I would say I married the stereotype for sure of a lesbian. Um, but
We love sam can I marry sam?
Shout out to sam
What's up sam? I'll marry you
She's taken
Uh, if we ever if we ever bring up
And she's already gay so there's no need for you. She won't date me for it. She knows who she is to get to your mother
No
Damn it sam
She might just like you for you
She is the best though, but that's true. You are not the stereotypical looking
Lesbian and which I learned on sex in the city. Correct me if I'm wrong
I get a lot of my information from sex in the city. I love that you would be called a lipstick lesbian
I
Sometimes can look like a lipstick lesbian. That would be like super femme
Like I can pull that off
I was with you last week when you were in sparkly six inch heels and little shorts and a blazer and you looked very
Lipstick. Yes, exactly. So that would be like the she had lipstick on that would be like the other extreme of like butch
butch and then lipstick lesbian, right and I feel like
I feel like all these like terms are funny, but they're real and that's why they exist like but it's it's
Yeah, I guess I would be somewhere like in the middle, but like I feel like I can
I definitely don't feel butch. No, that doesn't resonate with me at all, but I feel like I can
Go like from middle to lipstick if you will
I feel like sex in the city is a little dated now too. Damn it. Because it's not still
You might need to watch things like queer I I do watch queer. Isn't that the best? Yes. I love queer. I come on
They're amazing. I cry every episode
I feel like it's important to just be yourself. And so sometimes I want to I feel girly and I get my nails done
and sometimes I mean girly is like the term I use to like
Everybody understands what I mean by that and then sometimes I just feel like
I don't want to be looked at
because in our society like women have historically been objects and
So there's something like beautiful about just being like I'm not wearing makeup today
and I'm just putting sweatpants on and I'm not doing my hair and I'm leaving the house and
You feel this like inner peace of like nobody's objectifying me and I'm not objectifying myself today
And that's like I think the feminist in me coming out
um, but I'm all like wrapped in one. I just think like
It's like sometimes I just want my nails done and to like glam up and like wear my sparkly heels because like
Why not? Why not? Yeah, and then other times I'm like, you know like today
I'm kind of like wear my rainbow flip flops not that they have anything to do with being gay
But they have a rainbow on them. Wait, this is a fun story
I texted Christy on the way to school one day because Melody and I have a little bit of a a little bit
A seven minute drive to school and I texted Christy because I said Melody just said this stuff to me
How do I respond to it?
Because Melody said mom she's seven at the time so eight eight at the time and she said mom
Um, uh, I think that I might be gay and I was like really?
Okay, why and she's like because I really like that rainbow flag
Like I I love rainbows and I really like that flag and like she doesn't really know what it means to be gay
I mean, we have so many family members that are gay and that are her uncles. I'm doing air quotes uncles
So she knows what it is. Um, she's no problem with it
But she was like I really like that flag and I really like those colors
And then as she said and I was like, oh that doesn't mean but you can love the flag if you want
And then she said well, maybe I am gay. I said well
Do you like boys girl boys more or girls more and she's like, oh, I like them both
I was like, all right
I need Christy right now because I don't know where to go from here now. What yeah, and then she said, um
Well, Christy and Sam are gay and I said they are gay and she said but I think I might be gay because I don't like dresses
I would like what's where she wants to wear a suit and I said well, you can absolutely wear a suit
But that still doesn't mean you're gay
And so then we had this whole conversation
But I was texting Christy being like this is what she's saying to me
What do I say and she was like let her be happy just let her say whatever she wants
It doesn't mean anything and I was like, I know she doesn't get it
Yeah, but she this is what you don't want to say the wrong thing. I don't because I don't want to lead her in a certain way or
Be like, yeah, that you know dismiss her
You don't want to dismiss her because she knows what it is and that eight these kids
They know what it is and that's amazing
Like I knew what it was when back when we were eight, but we lived it like we were around it all the time
So I just loved hearing the reasoning of an eight-year-old being like I like that like she loves rainbow
She's either gay or she's a 90s child because we were everywhere on the trapper keepers. Oh my god, you know
But I just I feel like even going like Carly going to you
you're such a
advocate
For just be who you are who cares like an end of story for sure so come to Christy's bootcamp class
She'll kick your ass and she will give you some inspirational
Motivation as well. Well in saying that we did bring up Sam. You are married. Yep. You had a big old wedding
We had the best time at your wedding. Oh, that was the best time and you have two daughters. Yeah
Um that you carried right I did yeah, I carried both
Um, I did yeah, and I had the best time at my wedding. That was a really fun
It was a lot of fun. I just danced the whole time and I don't Sam did not have the same experience to stress out the whole time
but um
The wedding was was interesting to plan we
It wasn't legal to get married in Pennsylvania at the time and that's how we ended up in ocean city. We loved
Yeah, I didn't realize that that's why we had already obviously july before september planned the wedding in new jersey because it was legal
They are at the time because my mom didn't really know how to act because it was an air quotes gay wedding
she um
She was like it added a different layer of stress because she was like
I don't even know what i'm supposed to be doing at this gay wedding. So like I mean it's a wedding
We were like well, okay
I can't get married in the catholic church, which is you know what my cousin had done months before my
My wedding which was an emotional thing because I had always been I'm a very very spiritual person
And I had grown up in the catholic church worked at a catholic school
I would say faith means so much to me not so much religion, but faith is
Paramount in my life. So like that was emotional in of itself, but
I think that positive of my mom being so like
Kind of bizarre that year was everybody invited is because I wanted them to be there
And that was super empowering because there's a lot of stories of people who don't
Really have that or they end up with like 500 people, but it's like I really don't know these people or my mom said I had to and
um, I didn't have that and so that was fabulous and I think that's part of why I was able to
Have such a great time and then sam and I knew we wanted to have a family
Um, sam is seven years older and she was like, I don't want to be like the old person with the young kids
Can we do this soon and we're like can we do this soon? Sure we can so we obviously needed fertility
Because neither of us have sperm and in order to create a human you need an agonist verb. That's insane
so we
We went to fertility and
Yeah, we got to pick our guy was kind of like online dating
Um, you hear an interview of their voice. You see a young child picture and then you buy sperm
It's better than online dating. You don't have to deal with them
So true
However, I know it's am and I met online. No, you did. I didn't realize that
I don't remember that at all. Yeah, same. It was just all of a sudden there. I know
Yeah, I was online for a long time dating. I say long time maybe three years. You're a long time
I'm learning. I know not that long. So you're online for three years. Get out of my house. Yeah, that's not a long time
It was like well, you guys like your schedule like our schedules are bizarre like when you work in
Dance and fitness and like you don't have a normal like nine to five schedule where you go to happy hours and like meet people or
Oh, yeah
Have an office where you're going to be meeting new people and turn around so it's there was no other way like especially
I was working at a Catholic school. I wasn't meeting another lesbian there
Yeah, so I can imagine you weren't um, it was
Wait, the best is okay
You it's your
Egg and it's the sperm that you picked in the fertility clinic when our mom will go up to christine be like, oh my gosh
Ava looks just like sam and you're like, no, she does. Yes. She does. Yes. She does miss carmel. There's no sam in ava
Uh, and you're like carmelo. Get it together. Yeah, she probably means her behavior or yes, let's say that
In your mom's defense ava does have blue eyes just like sam
And a little bit fairer skin
More like sam than me. Well, definitely looks more like me right now
And people wonder all the time like if ava was like even sam's own family is like, are you sure ava didn't come out of you?
Really? So like the fact that your mom said that is like hilarious because she knows we're with gay and like she knew I was obviously pregnant while teaching at the studio
Now have you like she called they call you mom. What do they call you mommy christie and mommy sam. They do
Yeah, especially when we're together they'll signify by doing that and that and no while started that my oldest started that
Like if it's just me, they'll be like mom. Yeah, but if we're both there, but no, I'm not talking to you. I want mommy's tam
I'm like, oh, okay
Got it. I'm not the wanted one right now
And they haven't faced anything in school. I mean, they're so young. No one's yeah, they have people have said in kindergarten
Yeah, boys said something like my mom said it's like weird. You have two moms or like pretty like benign stuff
But still enough that it's like, yeah, you already setting the fire in me. Well, there it is
It's kindergarten and it's already stemming from the parents. My mommy said it's all what you teach them people
It is and it's like our society still like upholds heterosexual
Relationships Disney has done a really good job of like pulling away from damsel and distress prince comes to save
That's true a love interest in the story
But even when there are it's typically still my own kids like why don't we have a dad?
Really, do you know because like even though it's the only thing they know like every tv show they watch every movie
They've seen there's always a male love interest. So it's just I can't society gives them. I'm shocked
I did I would not have said that somebody like they would have heard that yet because they are
Holds no, well, she's six. Yeah, that's your oldest
But I did tell you the other day that dean wore nail polish to school because you know
Carmela painted his nails blue and went to school and a little boy said to him nail polishes for girls
Now, how did that three-year-old know?
That nail polish is just for girls parents. He was told right exactly and of course dean said blue's my favorite color
Uh mind your own business. I love that. So we need more deans in the world
It's like so what do you tell like what would you
say to your kids to anybody who?
Faces this adversity in school conversations and coming home and you know talking to you about it
And you're even you're counseling students for my kids specifically. I think just building a really loving and accepting community around them
Um is important and I think we already have that even if it's happening in school
They're like, well, Lewis and melody still love me or Julian still love me and my family's still there
And they don't care. Yeah
I feel like something that protected me growing up was having and you guys I don't know
You guys feel the same way like just I didn't really care what was happening in school or like pay attention because it was like
I had all these other like my family was like my
Yeah, it didn't really matter. So like we had family
We had so much fun. I didn't really get caught up in like school drama because we also got to go home and not
Deal with it. Yes, like there were no phones to know what everyone else was doing on the off hours
Yeah, so right now like when Noel came home with that I was just kind of like well, you know, you just gotta be nice
You gotta be kind like he doesn't know what he's talking about like I kind of like dismissed stupid comments like that
Yeah, that shouldn't have any weight because it's and I'll ask her like did that bother you and she's like no
He just probably doesn't know that there's people who have different families that have two moms or two dads or like
One mom or one dad and we've been telling them that since they could like understand like she's brilliant
Like drop mic. There's like some families like not you don't even have to be gay
You can have just a different family parents die parents leave parents
I think the people try to be this perfect cookie cutter
Whatever that even means anymore
guys
I'm coming out right now
As straight and I feel like if you have to come out
I have to come out too because it's the same thing like why do you have to come out?
But I but I don't you know what I mean wouldn't that be the ultimate goal?
That's what I mean
That's what I would love to be the ultimate girl goal is who why are you coming out?
Who cares you don't you shouldn't have to
Who cares as long and my response my mom taught me this as long as she nice
Yeah, as long as it doesn't matter what you look like because beauty fades and it's the inside that matters
And that's like something I like to have tattooed on me like it's what beauty is found within like I don't
Your external shell means nothing
And it's like I feel like very passionate about that
And so I just think like that goes for I mean if you can just live by that you'll stop commenting on
The outside and the stereotypes. Yeah for sure. Whatever you love. Love it. I have one last question
Which I think I know actually I walked in and said to Victoria. I don't know the answer to this and now I feel stupid
That I didn't know the answer you celebrate pride
Yeah, yes, do you celebrate it? I mean to me I was thinking Christy celebrates it all year around
Why why does she celebrate pride you but you answer it? I'm definitely pro-pride
um, there's just a level of comfort that comes with people who you know are
similar in a certain way to you whether that's like
I don't know what I'm trying to say. So we don't feel imposter syndrome. You feel like that's where you belong and everyone is
Thinks the same way that you do and it's okay. It's accepted. You feel accepted. The fear is gone. The fear of un-controllableness
Except for now. Well, yeah, so like even when I would go to pride
Years ago, um, there's always a you know, the people like reaching. Oh Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve whatever like this
Adam and Steve. I'm sorry. What? Oh, you've never heard this? No
People like it'll have signs like Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve like you're going to hell blah blah blah all this
I'm obsessed with Adam and Steve. I want to sure that says Adam and Steve
That would be awesome. HBIC make it happen Adam and Steve. Um, so yeah, so like you'd have those people but they were still like pretty non-threatening but
just even with
Like the little things like you hear about like I follow a lot of like gay times on instagram like the the sites that I follow
on instagram like keep you informed about like
positive and scary things that are happening in our world today
And so now that I have kids like in my heart
I want to take them to pride and let them see like the dry queens going down the pride and everybody dressed in the rainbows and there's like
Having a blast just like loving love and
Love yeah, like it's joy. I just don't understand like why there is anybody on the earth that's like, ehh
Ehh, like why why do you care? Why do you like it's like I don't understand how you could hate on any
Group of people that's preaching love. Yeah, that's true
Just doesn't make sense to me
And our mom took us to pride in New York when we were little well we were in New York
It happened to be the pride parade and we were
In love with it. Oh my god. It was so much fun, but I'll never forget. I was actually just gonna bring this up
We were walking and it was the first. I don't know how old we were. I don't remember
We really was like 12. I must have been eight and you were maybe five
Yes, and I said this might be one of my first memories because I actually remember this
So we're standing on the the sidewalk and I'm holding my mom's hand and I look up and there's like a float going by
of these
burly cheerleaders
Like the hairiest cheerleaders you've ever seen
Having the best time dancing on the top of this float and I remember being like, where are we?
Yeah, did like I felt like we were in Oz like we were in like a brand new world
And we had walked into this realm and everyone was just having the best time
And that's that's all I remember
But I will never forget it and I was really really young and I don't remember any bad things that happened
But yeah, it's a very different world today. So who knows but yeah
And I don't think it's typical for the bad things to happen, but it is very much the way you're describing it
Just this different world. Yeah
We're gonna play a game. Let's do it. Are you ready to play a game? I'm very competitive
Good because you're playing against yourself
It's a little less fun, but okay, so her name
Is christie lawler and this game is called laying down the law. Let's go
You are way too proud. You are way too proud of this title. She wouldn't tell me earlier. We love a proud carly
Oh my god, we're gonna lay down the law
Lawler
Okay, it's rapid fire. Okay ready set Doritos or sun chips Doritos coffee or tea coffee morning person or night person morning
Wine or mixed drink wine feature mountains beach jay low or Beyonce jay low
Dinner or dessert dinner. Oh can only or tear me so can only girls or boys girls
Popper modern
I'm stuck
Waits or cardio wait full house or friends
neither
Christmas cookie baking or eating
Eating carly or victoria
No
I will not pick between the sisters
Someday you're gonna get someone one day you're gonna get someone who says your name guess what christie you won
yas queen
I'm queer. I'm here and I won
She is fit to be all of those
That was awesome. Thank you so much. I feel like there's so
Many people who are going to take so much away from this one conversation
Us included. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so it's it's so helpful to just get out there
Get it out not just for this month
Even though this month is the time to be able to see and hear a lot of people talking about it all at once
which is great, but
share this episode
With your friends with your family with people who you think need to hear it with people who you think will just enjoy to hear it
but sharing
Sharing is caring. I was just gonna say that and also go get your butt kicked at boot camp with christie. My god
Yeah, it is a good
class twice a week
Sometimes sundays to check out the schedule
We're gonna finish this off with christie giving us a real tip
So first I want to say thank you for having me. I really appreciate it and thank you for being allies hardcore allies and
It's amazing to have people in my life, especially that I work for that
I know
would like
Just cut a bit. I was gonna say drop kick a bitch
So it's it means more than I could ever say but your real tip for this
20th episode and pride month would be to take the time to get to know who you are
and just live that way and and find how you can
really love yourself because that's the most important relationship you're ever going to have and
And be content and we all have ups and downs but really just like find out who you are and the most beautiful thing about that is
We all change day in day out. So really like it can change tomorrow like whatever that means to you but
Be who you are and love that person and be secure enough to
And it's a journey to really just like show up in every situation you are that way
and to make it a little extra
If you want to go extra if you are like loving yourself feeling yourself
For pride month just where all the rainbows go seek out that
gay bar lesbian bar have fun with the best of us and
Just you know wave the wave the rainbow flag around if you don't want to do it for you do it for me
And um, yeah, that was awesome. That is so good because I do think a lot of people think
Oh, I can't wear the rainbow flag people are going to think that I'm gay, but it doesn't mean that it means that you support
Other people who support other people, right? So you do that is probably the best extra tip ever
It's the same reason you wear a c-fit shirt. You're supporting c-fit. It's the same reason you wear any brand that you support
You're supporting them. Where are the flag? Where the rainbow flag? I agree. I love it
Well, if you have learned nothing else today
It is so prevalent that you are fit to be the realist and you are always allowed to be the most
extra
And gay
Bye
For legal reasons we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and educational purposes only we are not health care professionals
For all of your health wellness fitness and self-care needs, please refer to the medical professional in your life your primary care physician
Your therapist a certified coach
Whoever it may be
And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to
Okay
Okay, bye