Welcome to fit to be real and a little extra.
Today's gonna be fun.
We're talking support systems and surrounding yourself with the best people for you in your
circle.
Am I the right person for you, Victoria?
Cue music.
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh!
I'm Victoria.
Hey guys, I'm Carly.
It's never gonna change.
Before we get started, I just want to thank all of you out there that are listening and
sharing and liking these episodes.
The tiniest bit of support, talking about support, helps in the biggest way and all
of your feedback has been so incredible.
It is so nice to get those DMs or those emails saying, oh my gosh, I related to that so much
or you guys are just making me smile and laugh.
Those are the absolute best and keep them coming because it's really helping us.
Yeah, it's the whole point of this.
So I just wanted to do a little bit of housekeeping there and say thank you.
We actually mean that.
Yeah, that's true.
So we were thinking about what to talk about for this episode and something that has popped
up a lot in the past year, I would say, is support systems and the importance of proper
support systems in your world for your evolving, for your growing, for your health, your mental
health, your physical health, all of it and kind of weeding out the people that don't
actually serve your purpose in moving forward in life in the best way possible for you and
how you want to thrive and survive.
And sometimes that changes over the course of a life just because maybe some people were
with you since day one, that doesn't necessarily mean that those people are good for you in
this phase of your life.
And that totally changes.
And that's a hard pill to swallow sometimes.
I saw on Instagram a reel that was somebody speaking and I might be able to find it and
put it in the show notes, but he said everything is seasonal.
People are seasonal.
Your phases of life, obviously it's a phase.
It's seasonal.
Some people aren't meant to be in every single season.
And the hardest part of that is letting go of those people.
And we we tend to be conditioned to think just like you said, day oneers are going to
be last dayers as well.
And that's not necessarily the case, but we attach ourselves or attachment styles keep
us to people that maybe are not actually good for us for growing and evolving.
I also saw something on Instagram.
Did you know it was a real.
That said, you're allowed to change.
And that really hit hard.
And you know who did it?
Sister sister, Tamara.
Oh, right.
Wasn't it Tia Tia and Tamara?
It was Tamara.
And she said, you're allowed to change.
Wow.
And I was like, I don't know.
It just hit me because I can change.
I don't have to be the person I was when I was 16.
And that's not my fault.
And I shouldn't feel bad about that.
And I shouldn't have to hide that, but you are allowed to change and evolve.
And I think at 37, I'm, you know, I'm learning a lot during these podcasts.
It's very reflective.
So again, thank you for your support because I'm learning a lot about myself and following
all these Instagram accounts now that are teaching me things.
Motivational.
You see, you weeded out the bad ones.
And now you're seeing all these positive motivational gifts.
Sorry.
And won't all be getting happy birthday texts or Facebook messages from you anymore.
But I'm learning a lot about myself.
So, but I'm bum.
Your support system should support you in those changes.
And if they are resisting and having friction with who you're trying to be or who you feel
like is authentic for you to be now, they're not the right people to continue on with you
in those changes.
Yeah.
This is a whole episode of me trying to get rid of Carly.
I actually was going to just ask you, Hey, do I fall in that seasonal change of yours?
Oh my gosh.
Props not, but we're blood.
Props not.
Blood does not matter.
That's true.
It doesn't.
Well, that's a whole another episode that we'll get into at another time.
Oh, I can't wait for that one.
Lots of content.
But the importance of support system has such a positive impact on our overall mental health
and it combats social isolation and loneliness, which helps physically and mentally.
And I looked all this up online and I'm going to post all of those links below so that you
can navigate these yourselves because there's a lot of interesting and really positive and
helpful tools and tips in these articles that we've been researching through all of this.
Because it's not just have a good support system, have a better life.
Like there's so much to it.
And physically it helps with high blood pressure.
I saw that.
Good.
That's wonderful.
Because I read those.
All the links I sent you.
Yes.
Great.
I read them and I saw that and I was like, of course.
Yeah.
Because when you're not stressed and when you're not constantly up here, sort of like I am,
I'm constantly up here.
High shot.
You said that with a straight face.
I was dead serious.
When you're down and you're calm and you're zen breathing.
When you're breathing normally.
Yeah.
It brings your stress.
How easy is that?
It's actually harder said than done.
I'm going to have a conversation with myself now.
You don't need to be here.
Well, that takes us to a weakened immune system.
Anxiety and depression.
I mean, the list goes on and on and on.
So that just comes from having a proper support system for you.
And I don't want to use the words positive or negative just yet because too high of a
positive was toxic positivity or something.
It's called you need the negative to have the positive.
You need the positive to have the negative.
It's the same with light and dark.
It's yin and yang.
They have to be together to thrive.
Negativity in the sense of Debbie Downers.
Negative Nancy's.
Oh, I like all these names.
Oh, begrudged Betty.
I just made that one.
We can tell.
I think we're aware.
I'm going to batten that one.
Those type of people that it's just constant.
Yeah.
Morning, noon, and night, every situation, even if something good is happening, they
automatically go to what could happen or what could go wrong.
Those types of people are more of the like all around negative, the toxic negativity.
There's everything on each side of the spectrum.
According to the American Psychological Association, there are five tips to find yourself a really
good support system if you don't already have one or if you're looking for maybe more in
a different way.
I feel like we have a good support system, but I don't think there's any case where
I would reject somebody that was supportive.
Do you know what I mean?
Like I feel like you can always use positive supportive people in your life.
Like minded people.
Right.
Right?
Yeah.
You trying to reject someone?
Who are you rejecting?
No.
You said, like if you already have one, and I'm adding, you could always use one more.
Yeah.
That was my addition to the conversation.
This one is the first one and it is reach out to family and friends, which seems really
simple and I read it and I thought about it and I was like, well, yeah, because you can't
think, oh, well, they're not contacting me.
So I won't contact them or that's why we, you know, you have to reach out.
That's a hard one for me.
I don't involves the telephone.
One because I have to call to because I don't reaching out would mean that I need help.
And sometimes that's number five.
We'll get there.
Oh, shoot.
Sorry.
Number two is use technology, which also seems really simple, stupid, but it's FaceTime.
It's people that aren't around you in your house in your daily routine.
Call them, text them, FaceTime them, Skype them.
Remember Skype?
That counts.
It counts to have even a long distance support system.
Like, okay, for what though, when you need help, support systems don't actually have
to be about like, I need help, help me.
It could just be the daily, hey, I'm on your side.
Yeah.
Hey, I got your back.
Hey, you just did that.
That's really cool.
I was a little tiny.
Okay.
You don't do them.
No, they're not something that you do.
I'm not great at that.
I'm not.
I'm not a good.
I am self-proclaimed, not a great friend.
Why?
I don't know.
Oh, because I don't have many.
No, that's not true, though.
No, no, no, no, no.
I don't feel that I'm a great friend.
So that kind of stuff, like I don't do that daily.
I wish I did, but I don't.
It's interesting.
You have an amazing support system or just daily joy, which could also be support of
just having daily joy in your Shawnee friends.
Yes.
None of them are in this area.
None of them you see regularly, but they have an app that they regularly check in and
talk and have conversations with.
True.
All the time.
That's a support system.
You don't ask them for help on the daily, but they're there for you to be like, oh my
gosh, guys, this is a really funny meme.
Yeah.
And today that was really funny.
You know, like that type of stuff is support.
And that's a 16-year friendship, which only has gotten back sort of to the daily, weekly
sort of thing since COVID, right?
Which is technology and bringing people back together.
By the way, Shawnee is a place in the mountains where Andrew and I met doing a theater show
when we were musical theater actors, and I met him along with these 10 other people at
the same time, and we all continued to stay friends.
Shout out to the Cast House.
So number three is connect with shared interests.
So that also can be online in Facebook groups of, you know, we all have bulldogs, like that
type of thing, or classes, group classes, fitness classes, charity organizations, going
to dog parks, like stuff like that, like-minded people in group settings, and you'll connect,
even if it's not like the deepest connections with people, you have that thing.
Right.
Like, this is my thing.
Yeah.
I like doing this.
Yoga's my thing.
I love my yoga teacher training people.
You have no idea who they are.
No.
They're my favorite people ever.
I love them.
You don't know them.
You don't know anything about them.
You don't know their names, and I'm never going to tell you.
So number four is look for peer support groups.
So this one is a little bit more on if you're going through a personal challenge, you find
support, actual support groups to help you.
And that is a support system that have people that have also been through the experience
that you've been through, that you need some help with experiencing to get through, you
know?
Yeah.
Like a little, like some traumatic experience.
And even something as simple as new mom's group.
It's so hard being a new mom, trying to figure out how to feed your baby, whether you're
nursing or not.
And it can put you in anxiety and depression, and that kind of group is so great where you
can all help each other out.
And then the last one is actually asking for help, which I think is the hardest one out
of all of them.
Asking for help, I think across the board as a collective, most people struggle with,
for sure.
Nobody likes to feel weak or feel like they need help.
Everybody wants to know.
Why is that?
Like, I don't know.
What is that about?
It doesn't make you weak that you need to ask for help.
It's not, I'm not a weak person because I can't accomplish something without someone just
aiding me in some way, giving me, I don't like to feel like I'm letting anybody else down.
And if I've taken something on, I need to finish it myself.
I don't want to put that on anybody else.
So that like having kids, for instance, it was my decision.
Why should I put that on you to take care of my kids?
Like, I know that's a stupid thing to think, but it's a real thing.
And it's a real thing that sometimes moms go through because you feel the guilt and you
feel that I should be able to do this.
Everybody else does it.
Why can't I do it?
But everybody else is also going, God, I wish I could ask for help, but no one's doing that
out loud.
I know I need to learn not even with just kids, just what's it called delegating.
I'm not a good delegator.
I'm going to do it the right way, my way, because if I don't do it, it's not going to
get done correctly.
I think that's called control issues.
Micro-managing.
Yeah, that's me.
Think that's called hereditary.
Yeah, I think that's something that's passed down through generations.
And I think there's a lot of good qualities in everything that you just said that you
do.
I have them as well.
I do think that's familial, and I do think that's something that needs to be broken.
Yeah, it's definitely something that I need to be better at and I need to realize within
myself when I'm doing it.
I always know after the fact.
Man, why didn't I just ask for help?
That was so stupid.
But in the moment, it's sometimes hard to realize.
So those are the five things.
And part of finding a strong support system is weeding out the negative relationships
in your life.
And this one's a hard one.
Yikes.
This one's tough.
According to Forbes.
Look at all these drops.
We so smart.
According to Forbes.
One of us is.
There are five ways to do this and reasons to do this.
So the first one is guard your time, which basically means create boundaries.
And I find that extremely challenging.
I have no boundaries.
No, you have lots of boundaries because you have the control to need to do it all yourself.
Your control is your limitation in life.
Hold on.
Say that again.
Your control or need for control is your limiting yourself in life.
So it's one of those things of guarding your time.
They wrote it really well and I'm just going to repeat it basically in my own words, but
you take two hours to worry and give yourself stress and anxiety for the one hour lunch with
the person you don't actually want to spend lunch with, that negative person.
I wrote that down.
I have that down.
I wrote that down because that's so true.
And I read that and I was like, oh my gosh, most of our energy is spent on stressing out
over things we don't want to do with people we don't want to do things with.
I know for good reason that we don't want to do those things with those people.
But like how many hours can we get back?
You know, I just thought that was brilliant.
Yeah, I wrote the same thing down because I do that daily sometimes.
You know, not that I have all these negative people in my life, but I worry about things
that have yet to come.
You project into the future.
That's what hasn't happened and could be different if you didn't project into the future.
I know.
I can change that.
I think everybody has that.
I should certainly do that.
I'm trying to work through that every day.
I'm amazing.
Choose your attitude is number two.
Carly's got an interesting one.
But that basically means you are in the driver's seat of how you want your day to go.
So you create a mantra, you repeat it all throughout the day or you start it in the
morning or you finish your day with it, whatever it is.
And that's basically just I'm going to choose to stay positive and stay true to me throughout
every circumstance in the day.
Like maybe you write a post-it note on the mirror and that's what you read when you brush
your teeth.
And then when you're in the situation with the one hour lunch for the person you don't
want to be having lunch with, you repeat that to yourself to keep your attitude and
pull your energy back to yourself of like, this is who I actually am.
This is who I want to be.
Number three is refocusing your thoughts.
And this is really challenging because you have to be self-aware.
That's really hard to be if you're not actually self-aware.
But noticing your thoughts around these negative influences in your life and having a conscious
effort to reduce the amount of mental energy you spend on those people and those situations.
And you just have to be aware and that is like checking yourself in those moments and
going, do I like this?
What is happening?
How do I want to feel?
Where do I want to go from here?
Like you kind of have to have these little conversations with yourself.
You listen to what Justin said.
He said at the end of his day, he sort of goes through situations in his head like, how could
I have acted or what was my reaction warranted?
And that's sort of what you have to do so you don't make the same mistake.
I mean, you're going to make the same mistakes over and over, but so you try not to.
But you, you know what I mean?
Like yes, because you're talking about number four, which is choose to behave productively.
And again, everything is like choose.
It's your choice because it is your life.
It's your choice.
How you want to go about your days is completely up to your mindset.
So choosing to behave productively is to commit to controlling your emotional reactivity and
not like we tend to in high emotional moments, we react instead of taking a second to respond.
And that is something I was brought to light in the last year for myself in a behavior
that I have and I do.
And it was kind of like an aha moment of, oh my, that's not even how I feel because
you always tend in those moments of reactivity, you tend to take a step back after the fact
and go, that's not what I meant.
I know.
I didn't mean to do that.
I didn't mean to say that.
That's not how I feel.
It's not even how I feel, you know?
I'm in the opposite.
I think and what I do is I don't react and then afterwards think, oh my gosh, there's
so much that I wanted to say.
That is not how I feel.
I'm this or I'm that, but I never say it.
I shut down.
I'm a yes man.
I will yes you, but that's not actually how I feel.
And both ways are reactivity and not a reactive, I should say, and not responses.
And this is all for being aware.
I mean, they're all tied.
They're all connected.
It's different ways to say these things, but this is self-awareness and with practicing
and the consistency of all this, you won't have to send that text afterwards and try
to fix the moment or come to your energy of saying, ah, that's not authentically who I
am and how I want to go about things.
It's just going to become your new behavior.
It's hard to be level headed.
It really is at all times, especially when you're in situations with people that shouldn't
be in your supportive circle because they're not actually supportive.
Right, right, right.
And then the last one is seek out positive people.
And I don't help.
No, it's seeking out positive people.
Like I said, it's seeking out positive people.
One more time for the people in the back.
It's identifying the people in your life that you have that are those people because you
do have them somewhere.
You have at least one person in your corner that is your positive reinforcement or something
like that.
Hopefully, hopefully you do.
If not, we're giving you the tools and the how-to's to find these people for you, but
it's seeking out the people that you already have while you're figuring out the people
that need to go.
So the moments are few and far between and they shouldn't be, but we have friends that
when we are together, Victoria and I, when we are together, all we do is laugh.
And that's what you need.
And you need it more often, but life gets in the way and it's too busy and because you
don't ask for help.
I mean, it all ties in.
It all ties in.
You need to plan it out.
You need to organize it.
But those are, that's what you need in your life.
When you are laughing so hard that you're crying, that's a good thing.
You need that in your life.
And you just don't get enough of it because everybody's so busy and the hustle of life
is so hard.
But that is choosing how you want to behave and be productive and putting those people
into your schedule is complete productivity because that will not only boost your mood
and lower your blood pressure and your anxiety and depression, which we all have to a degree.
How is that a bad thing?
That is a huge forward step into the next joyous day of your life.
Yeah, you need to make it as important as everything else.
Prioritize.
Yeah, that's the word I was looking for.
That was a little bigger than important.
But you really punched the P, so I knew there was a P you were looking for.
But here's the thing with all this.
So we can rattle off these lists and I feel like we don't have to say this, but we are
not masters at any of this.
Oh my gosh, I don't do any of this.
You want to be extra, real extra?
I don't do any of this.
Yeah, well, we need it needs to start now.
Yeah, today is the commitment to yourself.
So on the topic of this self realization, somebody asked us, you know, or I was talking
to somebody the other day and they were like, it's so nice to listen to because you are
saying the things that I'm feeling.
And I said on the opposite side of that, it's so nice to say these things out loud because
sometimes when you and I are saying it in this podcast out loud, it becomes a realization.
So it's this is really good when you talk about things out loud, it becomes a reality.
It's called manifesting.
Yeah, speaking it into existence and believing it's already yours.
It's one of the hardest things to do.
But it's true, you have to speak it words are really, really powerful.
Like the way you use words, the way we should, we should use words.
They are way more powerful than I think we really think that they are.
That's why a lot of things that should not be said are said.
So putting what you want out into the world through your words alone, which is why you
say mantra is out loud from that post it in the mirror because the more you say it, the
more you believe it, the more it's ingrained in you.
And the more you make these changes for yourself of changes to be who you want to be, to be
who you actually are.
But how do you do it?
And the how is always finding out the why is one thing and then finding out the how is
different and there's six ways how to do it.
So the first one is to accept reality, which is done done done.
I think that's actually easy.
I can.
What?
Yeah, accepting when you need to let somebody go in your life because they're not serving
you anymore.
I feel like I can accept that.
I feel like I can't do the rest of it.
Accept it even if they're family or your longtime friend.
Like that's hard.
Yeah, that is hard.
That's hard.
But it's being aware of who these negative people are in your life.
And if that's who they are, you know, step one is accepting that reality.
Boom.
Two is be clear.
Be clear with your intentions, meaning do not ghost anybody.
Do not think by ghosting or ignoring the situation.
It will go away.
All right.
Now explain what ghosting is to people that might not know.
People over the age of 20.
Yes.
Ghosting is just not responding ever again, becoming a poof Casper, the ghost gone.
That was actually really good.
Thank you.
So being clear with your intentions is being honest and straight forward.
If you do not want to do said thing, you say, I do not want to do this.
I think my problem and what a lot of other people might have problems with is setting
those intentions because I am a yes person.
So I will yes you and then complain about it to you or myself or mom until that thing
that I don't want to do happens.
Spending the two hours to complain over the one hour lunch.
Yeah, I'm not clear with my intentions.
Three is identifying your role in the mix.
So if you have this negative friend, whatever experience always happens with this person,
there's got to be something that you contribute to that.
If you connect through gossiping, you're one of those gossipers.
That's not necessarily positive.
So like you're a part of that problem.
It just brought your energy rubs off.
So yeah, but you have to realize it and you have to identify that you are you are part
of it.
It's me.
Hi.
I'm the problem.
It's me.
Choose a way to end it.
So they provided two options.
Quitting cold turkey.
It quite literally says quitting cold turkey.
And I would say that's not in a ghosting way.
That is in a I'm setting my intention.
I do not think I can be friends with you any longer.
Here's why.
Thank you.
Bye bye.
Right.
So that's quitting cold turkey.
Do not ghost.
I think the most disrespectful thing a stranger to a stranger or a close friend to a close
friend can do is ghost.
I just think it's unless it's made of Carly, but I just think it's absolutely disrespectful.
I agree with you.
And I also just want to put my little two cents in here.
This doesn't have to mean you have to get rid of your friends.
Oh, no.
This just means this is basically boundaries and ways to deal with it and get around it.
And guess what?
Those negative people might take a step back and be like, Oh, well, I really want you in
my life, so I'm going to see your boundary and I'll respect it.
Yeah, I'll respect it.
So you don't actually have to like get rid of all these people in your life.
What are you telling me to do that?
Unless you truly think that's going to help you in life.
But a good way to do that would be to also fade out.
So that would just be decreasing communication and decreasing time spent together over time.
Five.
Give.
Face to face.
Or it's a forgiveness that you just decide in your heart that you forgive this person
for all of whatever, if they've done something to you, if it's just been a negative presence
in your life, whatever it may be.
But it's the key to personal healing is to forgive.
I do hold grudges.
Even if I don't let you know, it's always there.
I have a hard time forgiving and forgetting.
Like I might forgive you, but I will never forget.
Like maybe it's not a question.
I don't think that's actually forgiving.
If you can never forget.
Right.
Because I don't let it go.
I think a lot of people are like that.
I think I used to be like that.
And only until this past year.
I think the biggest transformative year and a half of my life is happening right now at
34.
I can truly and confidently pat myself on the back and say I am not who I was a year
ago.
And I'm not where I want to be, especially with my reactions and my responses.
And I used to be the shut down, don't talk, control and never forgive or forget and keep
it.
I used to be you.
Now that I'm speaking it loud.
I'm sitting here going, are you looking at me in the mirror as me?
Because you're describing me.
It's you.
Hi.
You're the problem.
It's you.
You have to put in the work and that is where everybody stops.
Like the realizations are great and the aha moments and everything seems awesome.
But then putting in the work to better yourself and sometimes, and by sometimes I mean all
the time, it's not easy.
The work is not easy.
You have to continuously, consistently put in the work for change and for what you want
and who you want to be forever for the rest of your life.
I'm listening to you say that.
And you could, it's the same way with losing weight.
Like you have to put in the work consistently.
It's hard.
Like, and I did that.
I put in the work.
It was hard.
It was not easy.
I didn't want to do it.
Maintaining it's hard.
I work on it every day.
It is the same with the rest of your life.
So get on board, Carly.
I'm just realizing this now as I'm saying it out loud and it's going to be my mantra
on my post-it note tomorrow.
The last one on this list, give yourself time to grieve because it's a loss if you
actually do say goodbye to somebody and you have to give yourself time to do that because
you can't, you can't heal and move forward without coming to terms with really committing
to the next phase and that person just isn't a part of it.
But I feel like we're saying all of this because it's so important that this goes away and
the support system and the positive people in your life come to the forefront because
that's how, life is short.
Life is so short.
Say it again.
Life is so short and you should be spending it with the people and the experiences and
the things you want to do than instead of the obligations or the conditioned obligations
that aren't real.
On that note, we're going to play a game that Victoria doesn't know anything about.
But this game is called How Rude or You Got It Dude and I'm going to give her a scenario
and she's going to say, yeah, that's like really rude.
You should probably not do that or You Got It Dude.
It's no big deal.
That's fine.
To explain for the younger, this is a full house reference of Michelle and Stephanie
Tanner.
So I'm all in.
I'm game.
I'm giving the thumbs up for You Got It Dude.
When you're going out to dinner, you personally, do you think that you would be like, hey,
there's 10 of us.
We're splitting the bill like ahead of time or just pay for what you ordered only?
Hmm.
You got it, dude, to setting the intention and the boundary at the start.
Yes.
I love splitting the bill.
I think that's not a big deal as long as it's even.
It depends on the situation, but you got to do.
All right.
Say you're going to a friend's house and it's just like BYOB and you don't bring anything,
but you're going to like partake in whatever they have at the party.
How rude.
I agree.
What?
I know.
People do that.
No.
Yes, I know.
I think somebody else's house without something.
You're saying how rude to that?
How rude to bringing nothing?
Absolutely nothing, especially with a BYOB.
I know.
Yeah.
Okay.
Don't be friends with those people.
Cold turkey, come out.
All right.
This is the last one and it's a little tricky.
Do you think it's super rude?
How rude or You Got It Dude to text someone after 10 or early before six?
How rude?
That's not complicated for me.
How rude?
Yeah, that's easier than I thought.
Do not come for me at those hours.
At those hours.
Well, some people are night owls.
So then when they're in bed and they're texting you and it's 11 o'clock, some people do that.
But see, all of this is about consideration for other people.
I think it's situational.
If you're in a line of service and talking to people all day long and every day, no,
those people don't want to talk to you at night.
I do not appreciate somebody asking me for more at those hours.
Setting boundaries for yourself.
You are asking me to continuously give to you, respond to you.
So she thinks that's rude.
How rude?
Even worse.
My gosh.
Well, thank you for playing my first game of How Rude or You Got It Dude.
You won.
I did.
You won the game.
Yes.
But in all seriousness, in all seriousness, I like that game.
I was waiting.
Your mouth was wide open because I had so many thoughts, but I couldn't get them out.
This I think is one of my favorite episodes because there's so much important content
to really marinate in because you have to make decisions.
Like that's the thing.
When you're doing the work, you have to make decisions to do it.
Why are you?
You said marinate and all I can think of is food.
Like chicken?
Yeah.
You said marinate and I really tried to hold it together.
Can someone else help me out there?
Look, she's asking for help.
I'm as steep.
I will ask for help.
The biggest ask for help would be going to therapy, would be finding a therapist and
someone outside with absolutely no bias to talk to you or to just let you talk.
There's such a stereotype in a taboo to the word therapy, to the word ask for help.
Carly.
I know.
She's staring at me this whole time.
She's been telling me to go to therapy since I was born.
It doesn't mean you have a problem.
It doesn't mean I know I'm saying that for all the people that we're talking to.
I forget sometimes because it's just me and you here.
And I'm like, what do you want from me?
God, beat me over the head with it.
No, it doesn't mean there's something wrong.
And for some reason, a support system, my therapist is part of my support system.
It's one hour a week, but she's a huge part of my support system.
So to wrap it up, positivity is key.
Consistency is key.
Surround yourself with like-minded people that like the same things that you do and
you will find that your life is just immeasurably happier.
So it doesn't have to be you like what I like so I can only be friends with you.
Right, right, right.
It's differences are, of course, the whole point of life, but it's more about the mindset
of the people in your circle.
Yeah, I just learned that today right now.
Let's get to the real tip.
Okay, okay.
It's called reality bites, which isn't very positive.
But what I mean is that acknowledging that you can't change anybody else, you are not
put here to change or have the ability to change or fix anyone else like yourself.
And coming to terms with your reality that you might actually have to lose a friendship
or a relationship to find peace and to gain more positive relationships that bites, that
bites, but you have to come to those terms and you have to make that decision and realization
for yourself.
And now for the real extra tip of the week, it's called who me couldn't be.
Oh my God.
I made that up myself.
It means sometimes it takes two to tango and the situations in your life that are not positive
could be because of you as well and how you react or don't react or respond or don't respond.
So you have to realize and acknowledge that you are part of the problem.
And I know I've been joking about it this whole time, but it's me, hi, I'm the problem.
It's me is 100% our real extra tip of the week.
You have to realize within yourself, acknowledge what the thing is that you are contributing
and really hone in on it.
It doesn't mean fix it.
Doesn't mean change.
It just means acknowledge it and understand maybe moving forward how you cannot do that
again or change your reactions.
And that is your real extra tip of the week.
As usual, remember that you are especially in this episode fit to be real and always
allowed to be a little extra.
For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and
educational purposes only.
We are not healthcare professionals for all of your health, wellness, fitness and self
care needs, please refer to the medical professional in your life, your primary care physician,
your therapist, a certified coach, whoever it may be.
And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to do.
Okay.
Bye.