1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 Hey, welcome to fit to be real and a little extra. 2 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,320 That was good. 3 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:07,480 I felt that. 4 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,200 Oh, good, wonderful. 5 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,120 Today, we want you to feel it too. 6 00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:15,640 And we're talking about self care 7 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,680 and how self care is not selfish. 8 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,480 I'm Victoria. 9 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:26,020 Hey guys, I'm Carly. 10 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,820 Dry it again. 11 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,200 Hey guys, I'm Carly. 12 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,320 Give us a third time's a charm. 13 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,680 Hey guys, I'm Carly. 14 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,000 I was the same as the first, 15 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,000 but that's actually the most accurate. 16 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:43,840 So self care is one of the hardest things, I think, 17 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,040 in my personal opinion. 18 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:49,400 It's one of the hardest things to prioritize for yourself. 19 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:54,400 It's very easy or at least more doable to do for other people. 20 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,600 But when it comes to yourself, I don't prioritize it. 21 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,760 No, it's not in my daily routine. 22 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,480 I try and make it into my daily routine, 23 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,600 but it's definitely a struggle. 24 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,680 Well, you also have three kids and two dogs 25 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,040 and a giant husband child. 26 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,600 And I have two geckos too. 27 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:13,800 But I don't take care of them. 28 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,200 Andrew takes care of them. 29 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:19,080 But either way, kids are no kids. 30 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,280 Self care is not something that you do daily. 31 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,720 If it's not written down, planned out, 32 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,440 we just don't go to that first. 33 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,160 Well, and it's not even just self care 34 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:34,080 and like massages or the nails, hair, 35 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:38,440 the stuff that you would feel like luxury type of self care. 36 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:39,920 It's also making dentist appointments 37 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:40,920 and making doctor appointments. 38 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:44,160 Like I struggle with making, it's on my list. 39 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:45,280 I'm a list maker. 40 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,480 I make lists, I write them, I love crossing them out. 41 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,840 Do you do when, well, you don't write lists, do you? 42 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,400 No, I have an aversion to lists 43 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,320 because of how we grew up. 44 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:57,840 And I think, yes. 45 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:01,120 So, yes, our mom would, we would wake up 46 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,360 and come downstairs and be dressed and ready for school, 47 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,360 but there would be a list with our name on it 48 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:09,520 at our stool where we would sit on our island 49 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,680 or on the dinner table. 50 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,040 And that's what we had to accomplish that day or... 51 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,440 And you would look at the list and you'd be like, 52 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,880 uh, okay, this is my list for the day. 53 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,960 Or if there was ever like a family party coming up, 54 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,400 man, that list got so long of all the cleaning you had to do 55 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,680 or like the straightening up or the dusting. 56 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:33,600 And we, so I don't make, I don't, sorry, 57 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,160 I don't make lists, my Delco is showing. 58 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:39,960 I don't make lists because I think I didn't love that 59 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,760 getting up and having a list every day. 60 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:45,200 So I think that I can remember everything and then it... 61 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:46,400 Oh, but you cannot. 62 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,240 I know. 63 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,480 Oh, oh, but you cannot. 64 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:53,000 I know, I always forget something important. 65 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,160 And I know I need to write it down. 66 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,080 I know I do. 67 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,160 Something important or everything. 68 00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,360 Or like a child. 69 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,800 I've forgotten the child of more than a few times. 70 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,880 So I don't write lists for that reason, 71 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,440 but I know I need to. 72 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:09,360 And I'm the opposite. 73 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,400 I love writing lists because I love the accomplished feeling 74 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,440 of crossing something off. 75 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,080 If there's something that I do that's not on the list, 76 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,400 I will write it and or type it so I can erase it 77 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:19,240 or cross it out. 78 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,080 I know people like that. 79 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:20,920 Yeah. 80 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:24,240 And it just feels so good to me. 81 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,600 But I tend to not forget anything 82 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,920 because I look at my list and I try to knock off 83 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,600 the things that I know I want to get done 84 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,840 or that have a timeline and that I have to do 85 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:37,520 work-wise or something like that. 86 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,640 And I think what people misunderstand for self-care 87 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:41,600 is what you just said. 88 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,440 They think it's like a total spa day and it's not. 89 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,800 It could be just blow drying your hair that day 90 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,080 and feeling really good about it. 91 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,040 Like that to me. 92 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:53,120 I'm like, oh my gosh, I did my hair today. 93 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,200 I took the time to do it and I enjoyed that. 94 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,080 And I think people don't take the time for self-care 95 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,200 because they always think it's expensive 96 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,960 or it takes time and I don't have the time 97 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,080 to dedicate to myself. 98 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,840 And it's the little things 99 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,840 that I think are the most important. 100 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:12,320 So I found a really good list online 101 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,000 from goodhousekeeping.com. 102 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,280 And I picked this specific list 103 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:19,480 because it was small self-care habits 104 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,040 that you can incorporate in your house 105 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,440 with no money really attached to it. 106 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:25,280 Sweet. 107 00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:26,960 And there's 50 of them. 108 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,200 So the list is 50. 109 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,560 We're not gonna rattle off 50. 110 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,200 I will put the link in the show notes 111 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:35,760 for you to be able to look at the full list on your own. 112 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,640 But I did mark some of the ones that I, 113 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,280 that kind of called out to me. 114 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,040 Are these ones that you do or ones that you want to do? 115 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:46,360 Ones that I just think are really doable and like. 116 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,640 And some of them I think I do do. 117 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:49,920 You just said do do. 118 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,800 Oh my God. 119 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:55,960 We're in our 30s. 120 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,720 I mean, I'm closer to 40. 121 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,240 It's always gonna be funny. 122 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,360 But there really are some that I do do. 123 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,600 So I have about like 12 of them 124 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,400 that we're just gonna rattle off and talk about briefly. 125 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:13,680 But here we go. 126 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,240 So one is zoning out. 127 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,560 And I was like, what is zone? 128 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,600 Like how is that self care? 129 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:20,440 Carly's raising the roof. 130 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,280 I'm raising the roof. 131 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,560 For all of the, those of you that cannot see her, 132 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,360 she is quite literally raising the roof with her hands. 133 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,480 The Gen Z's can cringe right now 134 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,400 because I am legitimately raising the roof with my hands. 135 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,240 Drink. 136 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,280 So zoning out is basically like binging Netflix. 137 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,080 Watching a show that you want to watch, 138 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,760 maybe not the whole season, 139 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,040 but putting on like you have 30 minutes in your day 140 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,000 and you're like, oh, maybe I'll just put that episode on 141 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,200 real quick while I'm sitting in, 142 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,840 quite, you're supposed to just zone out. 143 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,120 So not cleaning the house, not doing other things. 144 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,080 Get off your phone. 145 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,520 Getting off the phone. 146 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:57,160 I had a conversation with clients this past week 147 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,000 and they told me, 148 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,080 and we talked about how watching a movie, 149 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,960 which is like an hour and a half, two hours depending, right? 150 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,760 Is kind of hard to pay attention to. 151 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,440 And a lot of the reason of that is because 152 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,440 you're not just watching a movie, 153 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,720 you're scrolling through your phone at the same time. 154 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,040 So you're trying to pay attention to that. 155 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,520 You're trying to pay attention to the phone. 156 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:14,840 So you're really not paying attention to anything. 157 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:15,760 Right. 158 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,480 And that's the opposite of this. 159 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,800 So this is zoning out with nothing, 160 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,000 but zoning out to something. 161 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,280 Right, exactly. 162 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:25,480 Yeah, it's sort of like zoning out. 163 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,960 Oh my gosh, that makes so much more sense. 164 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:29,800 Thank you so much. 165 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,320 I was looking for the word brainless. 166 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:36,200 Second one that I resonated was call a friend. 167 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,640 Call a friend. 168 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,080 And it really just means be connected. 169 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,600 So if you have an aversion like Carly does to 170 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,160 calling people and using the telephone as a telephone, 171 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,360 then text a friend. 172 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:52,160 But sometimes you have to write that into your list of like, 173 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,560 hey, I want to talk to this person. 174 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,080 I haven't talked to them in a long time. 175 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,200 And being connected to your friends 176 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,960 that are not in your daily household or bubble 177 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,200 is, it really is self care. 178 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,560 Like having that social outlet. 179 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:06,400 I think so. 180 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:07,220 It's very important. 181 00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:08,200 Yeah, definitely text me. 182 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,120 Never call me. 183 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:13,120 I really have a fear of the phone. 184 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,040 It's a real fear. 185 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,480 I can't say my name on this. 186 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,000 I can't say my name on the phone. 187 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,360 I was telling somebody the other day, 188 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,560 I called to make a dermatology appointment, 189 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,680 which is something I've been putting off for years. 190 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,600 And I like had to write down what I was gonna say. 191 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,320 Cause I'm not used to making appointments. 192 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,320 I don't like to do it. 193 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,160 So I, you know, I called and they said, hello, who's this? 194 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,000 And I was like, it's Carly. 195 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,800 My name's Carly, but my legal name is Carmela. 196 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,800 And you might have me under Mayo Dykeman. 197 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,960 Like I couldn't, I couldn't get it out. 198 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,440 I don't like talking on the phone. 199 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:43,520 I'm shocked actually. 200 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:44,840 I didn't know it was that bad. 201 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:45,680 I guess that's not true. 202 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:46,680 I did know that was that bad 203 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,320 because I tell people all the time, 204 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,560 if I am dying and I have to phone a friend, 205 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,480 Carly is not on the list. 206 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,760 Carly is not on the list. 207 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,520 She will not answer the phone. 208 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:56,560 And you, what do you say? 209 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:57,520 Three phone calls. 210 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,440 Three phone calls and they'll know it's serious. 211 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,840 That is awesome. 212 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:02,880 Okay. 213 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,960 Well, third one. 214 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,960 Clear clutter. 215 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:08,800 Ooh. 216 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:09,640 Yeah. 217 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,560 Very simple to me. 218 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,200 But it says like 20 minutes. 219 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,840 The article says about 20 minutes 220 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,240 of just clearing a space that has clutter. 221 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,480 So maybe you're, I'm thinking of mom's house. 222 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,840 So the kitchen island is kind of like an office 223 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:23,680 at the same time. 224 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,640 So all those papers and straightening up. 225 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:26,480 Yeah, mine too. 226 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:30,000 My kitchen island, it's got crayons and papers 227 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,960 and school papers and homework and just junk on it. 228 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,520 I just need to Marie Kondo it 229 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,960 and I will feel so much better after. 230 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:38,800 Here's, okay. 231 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,080 So I've been wanting to do this 232 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,520 because I know it's really important 233 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,280 and I know that it has a lot of benefits 234 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:45,960 but it's really hard to do. 235 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,640 And it's ending your shower with cold water. 236 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:49,480 Nope. 237 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:50,320 For 30 seconds. 238 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,160 Nope. 239 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,200 It's only 30 seconds, but it's like a cold plunge. 240 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,040 Nope. 241 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,040 And so it does a lot of things. 242 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,160 It releases endorphins. 243 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:01,440 It has the antidepressant effect, which is really cool. 244 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:05,440 And then it kind of wakes up and rewires your nervous system 245 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,760 and your vagus nerve, which is your fight or flight. 246 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:09,720 Harley's laughing at me. 247 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:10,560 Why are you laughing? 248 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,360 Did you say your vagus nerve? 249 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:13,480 Like your party nerve? 250 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:14,440 Yep. 251 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:15,440 Yep, Nevada. 252 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:20,440 It's actually called the what happens in your vagus nerve 253 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,960 stays in your vagus nerve. 254 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,880 Oh my God, I didn't know I had a vagus nerve. 255 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,720 It's not spelled V E G A S. 256 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,760 Oh my God, I can't wait to wake up that part of me. 257 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,400 Yeah, go into Vegas every day after a shower. 258 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:34,400 Oh my God. 259 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:38,560 It increases the activity in areas that control your mood 260 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:40,320 with the nervous system. 261 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:44,240 And this vagus nerve, I'm gonna, I can't. 262 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,680 It has not party mode. 263 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,760 That's like really dramatic in Frat Boy of you. 264 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,160 Is it extra? 265 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:51,760 It's a really extra. 266 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,280 It's Frat Boy of me. 267 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,000 You could have done Serarty Girl of me. 268 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:00,520 But you're not a Serarty Girl. 269 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:01,520 You're way more of a Frat Boy. 270 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,200 I'm 100% a Frat Boy. 271 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,640 But it has that party mode effect 272 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,520 and it just really boosts your energy and your emotions 273 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,280 and everything that goes with the nervous system. 274 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,120 Look it up. 275 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:11,960 Look up the nervous system. 276 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,640 Well, I think Victoria just invited you to Vegas 277 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,160 in her shower for 30 seconds daily. 278 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,400 Welcome. 279 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,320 Invites coming shortly. 280 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,280 Okay, we're gonna move on from that. 281 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:28,840 And we're gonna go to a lunchtime stroll. 282 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:29,920 And it does the same type of thing. 283 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,640 It boosts your energy, it boosts your concentration. 284 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,400 And it keeps you, if you have now, 285 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,840 if you have a nine to five sit down job all day long, 286 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,000 this is a big help to get your body moving 287 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,520 and to keep active without kind of stressing yourself 288 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:43,360 during the workday. 289 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:44,320 And it's free. 290 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:45,160 It's free. 291 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,640 And it's getting outside in nature 292 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,320 and it's even in the cold. 293 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,320 I walk outside in the cold every day. 294 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,920 As long as you're bundled, you're good. 295 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:54,400 But doing that little type of thing. 296 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,160 Now I don't know how long people's lunch breaks are. 297 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,200 Jen Z's. 298 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:01,320 This might be also known as a hot girl walk. 299 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,680 Take your hot girl walk at lunch. 300 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:07,240 Listen to this podcast and get outside. 301 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,720 That's the greatest term. 302 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,440 I when I heard that hot girl walk, 303 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:12,280 I know. 304 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,120 You should see what I look like when I walk. 305 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,400 It's not hot girl at all. 306 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,840 It's almost like, hey, I'm gonna cross the street, 307 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,520 get away from that person girl walk. 308 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:23,400 Well, then I wrote this one down 309 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:27,720 because we already suggested this in a real tip. 310 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,200 I think it was episode one. 311 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,720 And it's called make a yay list. 312 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,080 And at the end of the day, 313 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,600 you write down what made you go yay in your day. 314 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:40,880 And really the premise is that you focus on the positive 315 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:45,440 in the chaos of being a human being in the world. 316 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,160 So you don't focus on the negative is what it is. 317 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,840 Can you say yay again? 318 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,600 Yay! 319 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,520 Just like a little bit higher. 320 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:57,160 Okay, great. 321 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,400 That was for all the dogs. 322 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,600 Yay, there we go. 323 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,640 But it can be a daily self care. 324 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:08,600 I think that what people struggle with 325 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,680 and I know that I struggle with 326 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:10,840 and I know you struggle with, 327 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,080 you do not need to have kids to feel this 328 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,160 is the guilt that comes along with self care. 329 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:20,080 I feel that I shouldn't go for that 20 minute walk 330 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,160 because I'm like, oh, but then Dean sitting home 331 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,560 watching TV or something like that 332 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,440 where I should be with him or, 333 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:31,240 but I've also just recently started coming to terms with 334 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,600 if I don't feel good, 335 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,800 they won't feel good because I take it out on them. 336 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:40,440 I project my bad feelings of not being capable 337 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,520 to be happy or feel in the moment 338 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:47,120 because I'm already thinking about the next thing on them. 339 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:47,960 And that's not fair. 340 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,840 So that 20 minute walk is beneficial to both of you. 341 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,720 I'm so proud of you. 342 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,040 I mean, this is recent. 343 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,840 So it was my proudness. 344 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,360 It's recent, it's brand new. 345 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,880 I know Victoria knows this. 346 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,680 I know a lot of people have known, I post about this. 347 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:06,840 I wake up very early in the morning, very early. 348 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,760 And I just started doing this because I realized to me 349 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,080 that is my time. 350 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:13,920 Yes. 351 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,480 Five o'clock in the morning, unfortunately, 352 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,400 unfortunately I actually like it. 353 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,800 Getting up and sitting with my coffee at five a.m. 354 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,760 before everybody gets up is my time and I really like it. 355 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,560 I do understand that actually. 356 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:28,400 Silently in the dark, you know. 357 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,240 In the dark. 358 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,680 I don't mean in the dark. 359 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,720 No, I will, are we in Vegas? 360 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:37,040 You know what I mean. 361 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:39,520 So this, okay. 362 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,480 Well, that threw me off because that's really exciting to me. 363 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,200 But now we're gonna switch gears to something 364 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,440 that Carly's gonna go, oh, and scoff at. 365 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:47,880 Oh God. 366 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:49,160 Breathing like a Yogi. 367 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,000 Geez. 368 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,600 All right, let's get into it. 369 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,680 First of all, if you have this reaction like Carly, 370 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:59,800 I want you to really bump up the volume here 371 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:01,360 on this podcast. 372 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,720 Breathing is life. 373 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,040 And we take it for granted and I can tell you that 374 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,720 because I lost it. 375 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,000 You lost your breath? 376 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:10,840 Sure did. 377 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:11,680 Oh yeah. 378 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:12,600 Sure did. 379 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,080 I collapsed along. 380 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:15,000 That's right. 381 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,960 Without breathing, it changes. 382 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,240 Now, of course you have to breathe to live. 383 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,400 So when I say without breathing, 384 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,000 I mean without being able to control your breath 385 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,400 and focus on breathing, 386 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,600 you can bring down your stress and your mood 387 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,440 and your fight or flight. 388 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:31,960 I'm not gonna say Vegas nerve again. 389 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,400 I'm not gonna say Vegas nerve again. 390 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:38,400 But you can shift that emotional alert and awareness 391 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:42,800 in a stressful moment with just slowing your breath down. 392 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:47,120 It's not something Yogi's, yes, it's called the Yogi breath, 393 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,280 but it's science. 394 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:49,240 It is science. 395 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,040 No, I believe you. 396 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,680 I have a hard time doing it 397 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:56,800 because I'm always mentally thinking of the next thing. 398 00:14:56,800 --> 00:15:00,360 So I have a hard time being in the moment. 399 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,360 So breathing the way you breathe 400 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,000 is like I have to actually think about it. 401 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,720 Yes, you do. 402 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,960 I know, but I can't think ahead of it. 403 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,120 And that's what I'm used to doing. 404 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,200 Do you know what I mean? 405 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,800 You have to slow down to do it. 406 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:14,800 It's hard work. 407 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,280 I know, slowing down is hard. 408 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,560 Well, you just did an episode 409 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:20,160 on how diet and nutrition is hard work, 410 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,440 but if you want it, you do it. 411 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:25,200 If you wanna relax and calm and really be in the moment 412 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,480 and be present with your kids after your wonderful coffee 413 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,080 in the morning, you have to do the work 414 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:34,240 for really rewiring your cycle of breath. 415 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,200 When you need it. 416 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,720 Thanks for circling back there. 417 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:37,560 You're welcome. 418 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:38,880 I really like that full circle. 419 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,960 I'm gonna take a moment to breathe right now. 420 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,320 I think I need that for a little piece. 421 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,560 Okay, next one. 422 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:52,280 Take it outside, which kind of goes with the lunch break 423 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,040 thing if you don't have a treadmill in your house, 424 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,280 but taking outside, taking a moment to just go outside 425 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:58,880 and be in nature, whether it's cold, 426 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:02,160 whether it's in the summer, whatever the weather, 427 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,480 depending if it's a tornado or hurricane outside, 428 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,600 don't do that. 429 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,440 But taking it outside can boost your mood. 430 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:09,800 They say, if you take your shoes off 431 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,720 and you put your feet in the grass, 432 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:16,640 it can ground you and that connection to the earth 433 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,320 and being outside is calming. 434 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,920 Put your eyes away, Carly. 435 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,240 Put them away. 436 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,800 I'll try it. 437 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,920 No, we all believe you, actually, we do. 438 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,240 But that's a very important one 439 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,000 and everyone should not listen to Carly 440 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:28,920 and you should listen to me. 441 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,320 Is shopping on the list? 442 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,920 Plan a play date. 443 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,040 Number nine, plan a play date. 444 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,400 But this is an adult play date with your friends. 445 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,320 Go to brunch, plan a night out. 446 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,120 Vegas shower. 447 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,440 With your friends. 448 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,760 With your Vegas nerve. 449 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,760 And if you can't get out and do game night or whatever, 450 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,280 FaceTime, do you remember in quarantine 451 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,840 when we would do, it's called house party? 452 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:51,680 Yes. 453 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,240 When we had the best time, everybody was doing 454 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,600 some sort of FaceTime I haven't seen. 455 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,000 I can't go see physically the people that I want to see. 456 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,040 So I'm going to get on the phone 457 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,920 and we're going to play games and laugh. 458 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,200 And it just made it do a cry. 459 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,560 Positive relationships with the people 460 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,320 that aren't the little feet running around in your house 461 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,840 or your husband or spouse or partner 462 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:17,400 and having relationships with another circle, 463 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,240 another bubble, it's very important as a human being. 464 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,080 Yeah. 465 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,000 This one is a serious one and also not a serious one. 466 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,240 So it's not number 10. 467 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,000 It's number nine and three quarters. 468 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,200 All right, Harry Potter. 469 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:32,920 Discover a new podcast. 470 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:33,920 Oh my God. 471 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,400 That's what's on the list. 472 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,240 Discover a new podcast. 473 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,480 And here's why. 474 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:42,320 Because people's mood shift with the tone of voice 475 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:43,400 that you hear. 476 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,240 And it's so true. 477 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,520 If you hear someone yelling at you 478 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,080 or someone being sarcastic in a derogatory way, 479 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:52,200 like you feel that, whether you're an empath or not, 480 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:56,520 you feel that and then your mood shifts. 481 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,200 So hearing a podcast, i.e. 482 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:03,920 Fitzpereal, you will also get boosted and elevated 483 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,960 and it's something new and it's something new and exciting. 484 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,160 And it was on the list, so we're sharing it. 485 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,360 Okay, this one I do, I do this a lot. 486 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,080 And I'm whispering to not tell people, 487 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:18,080 this is number 10, unfollow people that bring you down. 488 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:22,160 So I do this on social media. 489 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,360 I only have Facebook and Instagram. 490 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,040 You have Facebook? 491 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:26,880 Yes. 492 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,360 Oh, are we friends? 493 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:30,920 Oh shoot, am I learning something new? 494 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:35,920 I unfriend people on Facebook on their birthdays. 495 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,040 And here's why. 496 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,360 What a bee. 497 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,040 Here's why. 498 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,360 If I'm, and then this is also a broad, 499 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,000 this is a broad thing here. 500 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,960 It's not 100% for what I'm about to say, 501 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,920 but if I'm not gonna say happy birthday to you, 502 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,320 why are we friends on Facebook? 503 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,080 Yes, I agree with that. 504 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,200 And nobody gets notified. 505 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,160 It's not like a dun dun dun, guess what? 506 00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,200 Happy birthday. 507 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,040 She unfriended you. 508 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,200 You lost a friend today. 509 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,360 I say this is broad because there are people 510 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,240 that I'm not gonna necessarily say happy birthday to, 511 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,960 but I would really like to know what they're up to 512 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,000 and keep them in my line of vision. 513 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,120 So that's why that doesn't really line up. 514 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,280 But if you watch a lot of puppy videos, 515 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,600 that's what's gonna come up. 516 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,320 If you watch a lot of kids dancing 517 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,880 or like fun dance videos, I did that for a long time. 518 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,160 That's what popped up for me. 519 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:27,320 Now it's motivational stuff and yoga stuff 520 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,480 and stuff like that, but that's what I wanna see. 521 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:34,000 So you're cleaning the clutter of your technology. 522 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,560 Yeah, wow. 523 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,280 I put two together, so we knocked two down. 524 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:42,760 Here's one that Carly is again going to scoff 525 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,760 and roll her eyes and have lots of things to say. 526 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,280 I'm not ready before I even said it, but go ahead. 527 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,760 That's why we're not friends on Facebook. 528 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,080 Ha ha ha ha. 529 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,800 Celebrate silence. 530 00:19:55,520 --> 00:20:00,360 Taking time to be silent and to be quiet. 531 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:04,080 And it affects your sleep in a good way to do this. 532 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,520 It also affects your sleep in a bad way 533 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,600 to have constant noise. 534 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,720 It can lower your blood pressure. 535 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,040 It can lower your heart rate. 536 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,000 All these good things and it can really have you focus. 537 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,440 I drive in silence. 538 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,680 I used to drive with blessing music. 539 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:22,680 I drive in silence and I work out on my own in silence 540 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:28,320 because noise is, you look ready to talk. 541 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,040 You should tell me what you're thinking. 542 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,600 I'm trying to be silent. 543 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,520 And it's clearly shown on my face 544 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,960 that it is not normal for me. 545 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,000 Carly's afraid of silence. 546 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,360 She thinks something is wrong if the moment is silent. 547 00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:46,520 Yeah, you'll see that in class when she teaches. 548 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,280 So that's why she's constantly talking. 549 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:53,720 And in everyday life, I don't, except for 5 a.m. with coffee. 550 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,560 I would assume. 551 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:55,400 Be silent. 552 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,240 I'm poor Andrew. 553 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,640 He comes down the steps and I'm like, not now. 554 00:20:58,640 --> 00:20:59,800 Not now. 555 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:04,440 You can sit here with me, but don't talk yet. 556 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,280 I agree. 557 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,320 In the morning, I'm not a talker. 558 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,720 Thankfully, Andrew doesn't open his mouth ever. 559 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,160 So he's okay with that. 560 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,080 There's no friction there. 561 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,120 Those of you that know my husband knows, 562 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:19,040 he's a silent warrior. 563 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:19,880 Ninja. 564 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,040 Yeah, ninja's better. 565 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,720 Warrior, because he's married to me, ninja, 566 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,880 because that's how he survived. 567 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:25,880 Is he smooth? 568 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,360 I'm not a fan of silence, 569 00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,560 but I bet if I tried it, it would be decent. 570 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:31,400 Hmm. 571 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:32,240 Hmm. 572 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,080 Hmm. 573 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,920 Kind of like everything that you've resisted 574 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:37,760 on this list that I brought up. 575 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,480 I usually come around. 576 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:41,320 Here's one. 577 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:42,160 Last one. 578 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,000 Number 12. 579 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000 Number 12, it's my favorite number. 580 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:49,680 Eat breakfast first before you pick up your phone. 581 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:54,000 Oh, which really is kind of like the whole morning routine 582 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,280 before you pick up your phone, 583 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,120 because you have to get dressed, 584 00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:56,960 you have to brush your teeth, 585 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,240 you gotta do all the things. 586 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,440 But before you start scrolling 587 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,520 and get the news of the outside world 588 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,160 in the start of your day, 589 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,520 you really start the news of your people in the house 590 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:11,520 or if you live alone, 591 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,080 it's your own thoughts and making a schedule 592 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,280 or maybe being silent or whatever it is. 593 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,520 You don't have to be talking to the people in your house, 594 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:23,000 but keep the outside world outside until the last minute. 595 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,040 Yeah, that is a good one. 596 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:26,960 And it's very good one. 597 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,520 Yeah, these are all free ways. 598 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,320 I think people get stuck on the idea 599 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,640 that self-care is in a luxury and expensive. 600 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,680 I think we should notice that she didn't comment on that one 601 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,600 because she's not gonna do that. 602 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:39,440 Nope. 603 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,640 But not every self-care tactic works for everybody. 604 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:44,400 This is true. 605 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,960 I have come around to two of the ones that you said today 606 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,320 and that's a lot for me. 607 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,760 Just mentally, she's not tried them in action. 608 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,760 I'll take that, I'll take that. 609 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,840 But yeah, I think these are easy, 610 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,480 daily, small, attainable self-care things 611 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,440 that you can do to enhance the joy in your life. 612 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,480 I agree, I think you would agree with this. 613 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:09,640 I heard this phrase on the Mel Robbins podcast. 614 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,040 I think she's brilliant. 615 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,120 And I have suggested to her podcast 616 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:15,680 to many, many, many, many people in my life. 617 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:21,440 She has admitted, and part of her journey of evolving 618 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,560 and awareness and trying to change, 619 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:29,480 that she is addicted to chaos, or was addicted to chaos. 620 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,680 And I think that's exactly how we are. 621 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,000 Yeah, I think so. 622 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:38,520 I have tried the self-care revelation 623 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,120 only in the past couple of years 624 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,280 of really enforcing what I wanna do, 625 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,480 what I don't wanna do, and saying no to things, 626 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:45,600 which is really hard. 627 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,120 And I think a lot of people can relate to that. 628 00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:49,160 The hardest to say no. 629 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:54,160 And I think it's because chaos feels better than calm. 630 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,520 Yes, 100%, you know what I mean? 631 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,320 It's uncomfortable to be calm. 632 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:04,320 And the discomfort of chaos is way more easier. 633 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,440 The mere factor that we get up on stage 634 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,400 jump up and down like crazy people, 635 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,520 and I'm in my happy place. 636 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,040 That's where I'm jumping up and down, 637 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,480 I'm screaming, I'm yelling, get me on a yoga mat, 638 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,640 and have me think about nothing, 639 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,200 or just be in my mind, and I'm at a loss. 640 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,400 Be present in the moment. 641 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,240 I know, it's so hard. 642 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,920 I love the chaos. 643 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,080 And I don't know if I love it, 644 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:29,800 or I'm just used to it, I think it's, 645 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,520 I know how to deal with it, conditioned. 646 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,440 Yeah, do you wanna know what I found that I really liked? 647 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:36,920 Yeah, I think we do. 648 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,280 So, you know how I found this saying, 649 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,440 I was reading, researching about self-care, 650 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,400 I know, I'm doing a really good job. 651 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,240 I was reading. 652 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:46,080 Oh my God. 653 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,880 And the thing that I kept going back to 654 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,600 was the saying that on an airplane, 655 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,440 they say pull down your oxygen mask, 656 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:59,520 put it on yourself first before you put it on your child. 657 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,600 Now that sounds selfish, doesn't it? 658 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,840 Put it on your kid first. 659 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:03,800 They need the oxygen first. 660 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,320 No, if you can't help yourself first, 661 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,560 you can't help anybody else. 662 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:09,680 I think that goes hand in hand. 663 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,440 I heard on the, I'm gonna drop another podcast name. 664 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:17,160 I heard on the Jay Shetty podcast, it's called On Purpose. 665 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,240 He's another person I think is absolutely brilliant 666 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,640 in evolving and growing. 667 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:25,480 It's not giving someone your time. 668 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,320 Yeah. 669 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:27,360 Because what people want, what your kids want, 670 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,760 is not your time, they want your presence. 671 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,080 And they want you to be in the moment, 672 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:31,920 and you want you to be there. 673 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,200 But it's really hard to do that 674 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,320 if you are stressed out, burnout. 675 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,040 Which is, I think I've lived in burnout 676 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:39,640 up until the past couple of years. 677 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,080 And even now it's still hard. 678 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,040 Well, we're hustlers. 679 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:43,960 And I mean that in the best way. 680 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,240 We were born to hustle and that's how we grew up. 681 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,280 We, I'm a hustler baby. 682 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,600 Every day I'm hustling. 683 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,320 I'm starting out there for a pimp. 684 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:53,160 Oh. 685 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,000 Oh. 686 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:54,840 Oh. 687 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:55,680 Oh. 688 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,600 I guess that didn't fall in line with hustler, 689 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,120 but they all wear fur coats. 690 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:01,960 I. 691 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:02,800 I. 692 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:03,640 I. 693 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:04,480 I. 694 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,320 I. 695 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:06,160 I. 696 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,000 I. 697 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:07,840 I. 698 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:08,680 I. 699 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:09,520 I. 700 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:10,360 I. 701 00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:11,200 I. 702 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,040 I. 703 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:12,880 I. 704 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:13,720 I. 705 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:14,560 I. 706 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:15,400 I. 707 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:16,240 I. 708 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,080 I. 709 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:17,920 I. 710 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:18,760 I. 711 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:19,600 I. 712 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,840 We are always thinking of the next thing, 713 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,120 the next trend, the next business move, 714 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:25,360 the next everything. 715 00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:28,040 Our mom did that too because she owned her own business. 716 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,240 Constantly thinking of the next thing. 717 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,760 It is so hard to be in the moment. 718 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,240 It's just hard and there's no going around it. 719 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:37,360 Absolutely. 720 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,600 That self care doesn't have to be quote unquote 721 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,640 a luxury type of thing. 722 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,480 It's like going to therapy, that self care. 723 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,520 And going to a dance fitness class 724 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,080 or a circuit class or your workout 725 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:52,240 that makes you feel better. 726 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,160 That self care. 727 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,680 Taking the time to be silent. 728 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:56,520 That self care. 729 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,120 Like all of these little ways, 730 00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:00,640 that's not luxurious. 731 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:01,960 They're necessary. 732 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:03,280 I absolutely think so. 733 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,120 And I think people more these days 734 00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:06,560 are looking into their mental health, 735 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,120 which they weren't doing. 736 00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:09,440 Maybe when we were growing up 737 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,640 and finding that self care is a direct correlation 738 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:13,640 with your mental health. 739 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,160 And it goes hand in hand with working out, 740 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:17,320 with taking care of yourself. 741 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,600 It all plays a part in the same role. 742 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,240 Wait, do you know what this article? 743 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,040 It taught me a new term. 744 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:28,760 And I have been trying in my 34th year, 745 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,920 in the past six months alone, to say no more. 746 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,200 Oh, no more. 747 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,360 To say no to things that I don't want to do more often 748 00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:37,600 for myself. 749 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:42,360 Or just to not put myself in positions to burn out 750 00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:45,160 by saying no to some things and not yes to everything. 751 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,560 There's a term called Jomo. 752 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,080 I'm sorry, again? 753 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:52,960 Jomo. 754 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,560 What does Jomo mean? 755 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,360 J-O-M-O, joy of missing out. 756 00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:58,720 Stop it. 757 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,160 Not fear of missing out, joy of missing out. 758 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,440 Wait, explain, joy of missing out. 759 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:05,440 Of missing out. 760 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,040 There is a party, there's a gathering of something 761 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,560 on a Friday night at the end of the work week 762 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,000 and you are just done. 763 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,760 You've got nothing left to give. 764 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:17,400 Maybe you had said you were going to go, 765 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,680 maybe you haven't, it's a last minute thing 766 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,200 and you haven't replied yet. 767 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,720 And your gut instinct and what you want to do 768 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,240 is say no to this gathering. 769 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,200 You say no and you sit at home and do nothing 770 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,200 and you feel joyful about it. 771 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,200 Oh, you are not missing out on that gathering 772 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,760 because you're doing something for yourself. 773 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:39,360 So you're putting the FOMO, fear of missing out, 774 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:40,920 you're putting the positive spin on it 775 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:45,840 instead by saying, I'm not fearful that I'm missing out, 776 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:49,040 I am happy that I'm missing out 100%. 777 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,200 And it's just by saying no to things 778 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:52,400 that you want to say no to. 779 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,080 I really like that. 780 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,280 Yeah, the article, I'm going to post it like I said, 781 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:57,760 so check it out. 782 00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:58,960 It's pretty cool. 783 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,480 When people say, just say no, that has to be a priority. 784 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:03,760 It's really hard. 785 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:04,600 It's really hard. 786 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,480 There's guilt and shame that comes to it. 787 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,920 Because you don't want to, you don't want to let people down. 788 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,520 You don't want to have the repercussions 789 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,080 or the consequences of what that might be, small, big, 790 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:14,960 whatever. 791 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:20,040 I hate saying no, not for myself, but for the other person. 792 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:21,880 And so it's a lot easier said than done. 793 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:22,840 Hey, just say no. 794 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:27,080 This year I'm going to say no, no mo. 795 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,560 But no, no sumo. 796 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,160 You're going to say no sumo. 797 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,440 But it's not in me to do that. 798 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:37,960 So I think JoMo is a way more positive thing to do. 799 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,880 And for me, that's done. 800 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:41,200 It's all mental. 801 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,280 Always fill the guilt with the self-care, 802 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,000 even if it's to just go to TJ Maxx for an hour 803 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,360 and just stroll through and look at everything. 804 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,120 I'm one of those TJ Maxxers, Marshalls. 805 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,560 I can go to a store and shop for hours. 806 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:58,280 And by sometimes nothing, I just like shopping. 807 00:29:58,280 --> 00:29:59,560 I like trying stuff on. 808 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:04,240 That's my, but my guilt comes in because I like to do it alone. 809 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,160 We are so different. 810 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:07,800 We are just so different. 811 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:09,680 Except for the alone part, I really like being alone. 812 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:10,680 She hates shopping. 813 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:12,120 I am not a shopper. 814 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,840 I walk in, oh, that's a cool color. 815 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,560 Can I just try that and get out? 816 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:17,680 Like that's it. 817 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,560 And then that's if I have to go to a store. 818 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:20,960 Yeah, she is not a shopper. 819 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:22,400 She's not fun to shop with. 820 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,600 I think it's time for the real tip. 821 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:25,600 It's been time. 822 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:26,440 It's been time. 823 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,440 Faux show. 824 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,800 Set it and don't forget it. 825 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,440 So the real tip is schedule it in, in your calendar, 826 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,480 in what you have to do for the week. 827 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:42,240 And do not wait for the, oh, I'll, when I have free time 828 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,120 and I'm air quoting free time for it to pop up 829 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:48,480 and do something for yourself, set it in your calendar, 830 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,680 and then you'll be more inclined to follow through 831 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:52,320 with your self care, whatever you're setting. 832 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:53,240 It could be 20 minutes. 833 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:54,160 It could be an hour. 834 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,360 It could be something very small in your house. 835 00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,400 It could be going out and getting your nails done, 836 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,760 but put it in your schedule of your list of things to do. 837 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,880 And then you will do it. 838 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,840 And now for your extra tip of the week. 839 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,160 I'm really excited about the name of this. 840 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:12,960 Your eyebrows are going wild. 841 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,840 It's called simply the best. 842 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,480 Oh, that was simply the best. 843 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:22,120 It's called simply the best because going off your tip 844 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:26,720 of the week, you need to save the best 20 minutes 845 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,640 to hour of your day. 846 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,960 You need to figure out what that is or when that is for you. 847 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,600 When is your absolute best time of the day 848 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,800 where you feel at the top of your game? 849 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,600 Where you feel you can do anything. 850 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,000 You need to recognize when that time is 851 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:45,280 and do the self care that you planned in that timeframe. 852 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,720 You are going to see the benefits of doing it 853 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:50,800 in your best, let's just say hour. 854 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,200 Let's say you have an hour in the best hour of your day. 855 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,680 You spend eight to 10 hours sleeping if you're lucky. 856 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,560 Maybe seven, maybe six, I don't know. 857 00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,720 You spend most of the day working, 858 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,520 mostly for somebody else. 859 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:02,840 Even if you're in the service industry, 860 00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:05,560 you're working for somebody else like we are. 861 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,920 We're working for all of you, accurate. 862 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:11,360 You need to recognize when you are at your peak 863 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:15,000 position of the day and do the thing that you planned 864 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,600 in that time and you're gonna find that it is 865 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,800 one million times better for yourself and beneficial. 866 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,560 You'll actually get the most out of it. 867 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,080 But it is simply the best. 868 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,440 Is anybody else thinking of Patrick from Schitt's Creek 869 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,680 singing simply the best every time you say that? 870 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,360 I mean, I am, I'm trying to channel him. 871 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,200 Talk about self care. 872 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:34,040 There's your zone out. 873 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:34,880 Schitt's Creek. 874 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:35,720 So good. 875 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,040 I'll put that episode in the show notes. 876 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,480 That is one of the best ones. 877 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:39,880 It is simply the best. 878 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,760 So we want you to be simply the best. 879 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:46,480 And we want to remind you that you are always fit to be real 880 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,760 and always allowed to be a little extra. 881 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,600 ["Extra"] 882 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,000 For legal reasons, we have to tell you 883 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,720 that this podcast is meant for entertainment 884 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,560 and educational purposes only. 885 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:02,760 We are not healthcare professionals. 886 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,680 For all of your health, wellness, fitness, 887 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,640 and self care needs, please refer to the medical professional 888 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:09,880 in your life, your primary care physician, 889 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,640 your therapist, a certified coach, whoever it may be. 890 00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,000 And then let us know what they say 891 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,800 because I guarantee we need to know what to do. 892 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:18,640 Okay? 893 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:31,200 Okay, bye.