Welcome to Fit To Be Real. And a little extra.
Oh, we're in the screen. Was that a question?
Yeah. You were like. I didn't know. We had no
setup today. No. We just were like, we have to
do this in 20 minutes. Let's get it done. Put
it on. And we did. We are struggling today. But
we're here. But not because we're like hung over
or anything. It's a Tuesday. I don't think anyone
thought that. Well, when you say you're struggling,
usually it's because like you don't feel good.
We feel fine. We're mentally struggling. We're
mentally struggling. But what's different than
any other week? I feel like we say that every
week. Yeah, we do, actually. If I think about
it, we do. I'm Victoria. Hey, guys. I'm Carly.
And we're in rare form. We are in rare form.
I am going to take my sweater off because now
I'm hot. I was really cold, but now I'm hot.
So yeah, our thought process today was we don't
have the mental capacity for real facts, and
we don't have the mental capacity for anything
serious. You're not saying that right. You're
saying mental capacity. You're saying mental
capacity. Mental capacity. Say it again. Mental
capacity. Say it again. Mental capacity, mental
capacity, mental capacity. I can't hear it anymore,
never mind. I thought you were saying like mental
tepacity or something like that. We don't have
the mental tecapity for that either, whatever
you just said. Forget it, move along. You know,
state of the world is insane. So we are going
to have... Some fun? Yeah, we're going to have
some fun. We're going to ask each other some
stupid questions. And by we, I mean, I'm going
to ask Victoria, but also answer them myself
after she answers the way I want her to. So that
is where we are today. We needed something frivolous
and not serious because we've had a very serious
morning. And she said frivolous. I said frivolous.
It reminds me of a party dress. Don't ask me
why. Do you mean whimsical? No. Like frills,
I don't know. We're not okay. Oh my, wow. Yeah,
we're just trying to lighten the mood of the
world today. One podcast episode at a time. Pray
for us. Pray for us. Okay, so let's just say
and Anthony find our sanity. What does it come
around? Something has been lost, but not and
must be found. It must be found. Right. Listen,
Carly can find nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing
is funny. Nothing is good right now. He's like,
I can't help you. You're on your own. So, yeah,
so we couldn't we couldn't deep dive, as Victoria
likes to say, into anything serious because this
everything is serious right now. So we're going
to be silly. Let's say it again for the people
in the back. Frivolous. Okay, Victoria, I'm gonna
ask you some questions. Don't say my name. I
know, it's weird. It is. It's very weird. Don't
say my name. Say my name. When no one is around
you. Don't say. Say, baby, I love you. Don't
say. Just gonna say that. Short answers only
will be accepted. I will cut you off. Okay. Because
there are things to get done. So, these are so
stupid. I have no idea what she's looked at.
Okay. If animals could talk, which one would
be the rudest? A cat? Oh, no way. What? A cat
would not be the rudest. A cat would be the most,
like, could care less about life. Not the rudest.
Okay. Well, what? First of all, It's my answer.
What do you think, Carly? Like a camel. Or a
giraffe. You don't know animals. Yes, I do. No.
It would be like a ferret. The rudest? A cat
would be rude. Did you not watch Homeward Bound?
She is sassy. Her name is sassy. And she couldn't
be more rude to... Jinx? It's definitely not
jinx. It's not jinx. Jinx is from Hocus Pocus.
Bull terrier mix and then the lab. Yeah, I don't
know the name, but I don't think it's a cat.
I think a cat is, I'm going to use another big
word here for me today, because that's how I'm
feeling. Nonchalant about life. I think you don't
know animals. That's what I think. Well, I'm
also allergic to cats, so we'll never have one.
You were sassy. Yes, I was. OK. Shadow. Sassy.
Shadow. And Chance. I was close. Chance. Michael
J. Fox. What a good movie for all you out there.
Watch Homeward Bound Again with your kids. That's
such a good flick. Wait, you know the trend of
like, dad, what were you in the 90s or whatever?
So the kid that was shadows. Yeah, I sent it
to you. Oh, yeah. Well, I didn't know what he,
I don't know what their adult faces look like.
So some of them I'm like, oh, that you're clearly
the kid from Sandlot. And some of them are like,
wait, who's this going to be? And he was one.
Well, there's a lot of people that are doing
it just like to their doppelgangers. And you
look in the comments and they're like, dude,
this isn't you. But somebody has been saying
that you look like this person. But that was
that guy. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Let's not say names
or facts or anything. No, that's not what today
is about. Yeah. But it would be a camel or a
giraffe. That is the correct answer. God, it
wouldn't be a giraffe. You are insane. Insane.
It would be an alpaca or a llama. Oh, an alpaca
is pretty nasty. It would be an alpaca. Yeah.
And a cat. And a camel and a giraffe. OK. Do
you think ghosts wear clothes or are they just
naked forever? They're not naked forever. That
is so much more horrifying. To be naked? To think
like you're being haunted, like my house is a
ghost and he's naked. No, I think you are a ghost
in whatever you died in. So then how come people
haven't seen ghosts in like a crop top and baggy
cargo pants yet? It's always in Renaissance gear
or soldier from back in the day from like Gettysburg.
It's never like in a Britney Spears outfit. Explain
that. Because I think it takes a long time to
break the veil. To become a ghost? To become
an entity that could be Felt seen or heard Yeah,
so you think are are the people of this generation
that have died or not there yet? They're not
there yet Give it a few more decades and then
you're gonna be like I Feel like that's coming
sooner than later poor Brittany She's a clone
Okay, fine. How long would it take you to notice
if I was replaced by a clone? Five seconds. Why?
Because they would speak in full sentences. They
would say nonchalant and frivolous in the correct
way. And they wouldn't be allergic to fun and
laughter and wine and beer. I don't think I would
notice if you were a clone very quickly. Why?
Because I think a clone is a clone for a reason.
They're very good at being you. But also Very
obviously not the person. Like I think there
are tells. I think there are. Maybe the voice
is a little bit different and you'd be like,
what are you sick? He'd be like little things,
AKA Selena Gomez. Exactly. Or your face would
be completely reconstructed. And you would only
talk with your bottom lip. Yeah, that's crazy.
That's a whole different episode. We can get
into that. Look back to Wizard of Waverly Place.
She did not talk like that. Oh, OK. However,
that is Botox. Would you eat me if we were stranded
in the wilderness? Get out of my house. Get out
of my house. If we were stranded in the wilderness.
No, I would die. Yeah, I would die too. Cannibalism
is absolutely insane. But what if I was already
dead and you had to eat me to survive? I'd jump
off a cliff. No, you wouldn't. Oh, okay. You're
a rude cat. There's no that is I don't even eat
meat. Yes, that would be the reason she does
not eat me if I died in the wilderness. Are you
a fish? If you had to haunt someone after you
die, who would it be? Like, say you died tomorrow
and all of a sudden you were the Britney Spears
crop top cargo pants ghost and you were allowed
to haunt somebody. Oh, what would be my outfit?
I can only haunt one? You can only haunt one
person and like they ask you listen you get one
haunt for your the rest of your ghostly life
who would it be? Someone young so I could do
it longer. If I only get one I'm not gonna pick
someone in their 70s because that's only like
20 more years. Yeah but it's not like hey have
chats with them every night it's haunt them.
Are you trying to scare a little kid? I'm trying
to do it for longer. Like if I want to haunt
an enemy and they're already older. Pick somebody.
And then I can't haunt anybody after that. Can
I pick a new person when they die? Well, we didn't
get there yet, but just pick one person. Three.
Louis. He would love it. He would actually really
love it. We would have fun. Dean and Melody would
end up in a mental institution. Yeah. But Lewis
would be like, Yaya's back. Yaya, I'm trying
to sleep. I would give him the wrong answers
to test questions. And he'd be like, it wasn't
even me. We would have a good time. Yeah. OK.
That's actually a really good haunt. I know.
Andrew's going to probably die before me. So
I can't haunt him. He's seven years older than
me. So that's just math. So you're a fool. That's
not how life works. Although I would haunt him
until the death because you already do that in
life. So I think you should find someone else.
All right. I picked Victoria. Yes, I would haunt
you. Be like, what are you doing? What's going
on? I would haunt you back as a live person I
would do that if you can see me I would do things
to make you uncomfortable as an alive person
Yep, okay All right. This is gonna be really
interesting and we all Anybody listening right
now knows the answer to this question Do you
think in your opinion? I'd survive in the wild
no or immediate. I was even done We're immediately
get eaten Oh, immediately get eaten. We all knew
this. You can't climb a tree. No. You don't know
how to make shelter. You have absolutely no awareness
of like... You would eat poison ivy you'd be
like that leaf looks good like cilantro That
must be a herb That must be a herb Cuz I'm a
herbivore you are a fast runner though. Oh my
god get out of here. I heard it I heard it too
late. I'm not that fast you you would I could
not outrun an animal Sloth so I You cannot run
as long. We all know the answer. I would not
last very long. I don't think I would last very
long either, though. No, you would. I don't think
I would. You would rub some sticks together and
make fire. I would be talking to Wilson, the
volleyball. But the question was... The question
was get eaten. Yeah, right. Which means you have
to know how to respond to different animals.
And I don't... You put some hex on it with your
mind and your... You'd be like, stay away. If
I have that ability, so much would be different
right now. We would not be having a mental breakdown
this morning. Okay. Be honest. Who's mom's favorite
and why is it not me? I think it's... I actually
don't think it's any of us. Do you think it's
the cat, Kashmir? No, she hates that. She hates
my cat. You don't think any of us are her favorite?
Mom hates this question. I think she is a favor
the one you're with. Yes. And so in her mind,
if we're ganging up on Billy, he's who she's
defending and advocating for or whatever. If
we're a gang up on Carly, That does hurt. Like
she has no chill or compartmentalization abilities.
So like we joke that Billy is the prodigal son.
Yeah, he is like the world stops when he comes
home. That's what happens when you move away.
But I think we all equally disappoint her and
I think we all equally surprised her. Well, they
did just Victoria took our mom to the ballet
on Saturday did not invite me and they like went
out to dinner and went to the ballet. So I think
on Saturday you were her favorite. But not until
we sat down and she forgot that we were fighting
the whole time. We were late. Like it took 45
minutes to get there. I don't like to be late.
Mom's fine with being linked to everything. Like,
oh, it's fine. And that's a great mentality because
things happen. But we were in the second row.
The tickets were in the second row of a very
small theater. The Suzanne Roberts Theater is
like 100 seats. And then all the streets on Broad
Street were construction. So you couldn't just
go around the corner to get into the parking
garage or whatever. So we were running. She wore
heels. Didn't think we were going to have to
run. With a bad knee. With a bad knee. Yeah.
She has like booties on with like big heels,
so she's struggling. But also asking me every
three steps. Is that the theater? Is it back
there? Is it over here? Is this it? I'm like,
I don't know any of these answers. I don't know
any of these answers. And so I'm in a bad mood.
So she's yelling at me for being in a bad mood.
Hold please. I'm just getting a text message
from our producer, CEO, that you're not checking
your phone. And Pedro is actually our mom's favorite.
Oh my God, he's right. And yes, I have three
text messages. Imagine dying in your Halloween
outfit. In your taco man. No. In your... You
were from Legends of the Hidden Temple. Oh yeah,
we're that. Oh my gosh. I had such lesbian cargo
pants on that didn't fit me well. Mine would
have been. I cannot haunt in that. Perfect. Cher
from Clueless. I would happily die in that. Oh,
you're annoying. I'm the favorite. You are. Wow,
you bypassed me and went to Carly. Good for you.
No. Pedro's the favorite. I know. He texted you
to get my attention. It was that important to
him. But also, imagine dying in your Halloween
costume. Oh my god. Chiquita Banana? There actually
might be a lot of Britney Spears. haunting you
because if you dressed up as Britney Spears for
Halloween. Yes. Or like a slutty nurse. Yeah.
For the rest of your life. I was never those
characters. I was always something funny. Like
from the blank 182 cover. That nurse. I'm impressed
that you know that. Oh yeah. I know. That's my
era. He's right though. He is the favorite. I'm
pretty sure mom professed her love to him the
other night. I'm sure she did that. Unfortunately,
paid her to a lot of people. I got it. Yeah,
that's true. I got a picture of it. She was holding
a giant bouquet of balloons and talking like
this. Chin up because she couldn't see his head
because he's so tall. He's too tall. And I took
a picture and it was funny. All right. Anyway,
so mom's favorite is the one she's with. Oh,
God. Pedro just sent her a screenshot of what
she just looked like, and it is haunting. Full
circle. Full circle. Oh, you're the worst. Oh,
OK. This is very hard. This is a hard question.
OK. Be honest. What's one argument we had that
you're still convinced that you were right? It
wasn't my Sunday. I wasn't supposed to teach
this past Sunday. Yes, it was your Sunday to
teach. Yes, it was. It's been on the schedule
forever, but in the order of the pattern. It
was yours. But two months ago, when we went over
the schedule with two months ago. But what Victoria's
thing is, she doesn't check the schedule. So
she never knows when she's teaching. If it's
changed, she just doesn't look. So I knew I had
to bring it up because I knew you hadn't looked.
You didn't bring it up. I said I would offer
to teach. You said it's not my Sunday. It's not
my Sunday. But it is. You did not win that. In
terms of sequential every other, it technically
was yours. St. Patrick's Day Sunday doesn't count
because we both taught together. I taught stretch.
You were a student, but I taught. You did not
win that. If you had to delete one memory forever,
what would it be this one right now? That we
don't need another answer. Do you think your
younger self would think you're cool? No, what?
I think she would think I'm a cop out. Why? Because
she was a lot more free. What? What are you copping
out of? Like conforming to things and not actually...
Hey, this is my answer. Shut up. Just shut up.
Shut up. Just shut up. Shut up. Shut it up. Just
shut up. Shut up. No, maybe not a cop out, but
like. Freaking weird. Like I would like to own,
I also, it's, I don't have the money to buy the
things that I want to buy. But like outfit wise,
like I do think, sometimes I do think twice,
like don't wear that. People too much, people
in the family would say too much. I don't feel
like dealing with that. She wouldn't care. That's
what I mean. Stuff like that. I think she still
cared. But she did it anyway. Right. And now
I'm like, all right, I'll censor it. I do not
agree. I think your younger self would think
that you are very cool. I don't. Karlie's my
biggest censor. I know. My entire life. 37 years
of censorship. Yet I'm the one buying you cow
dresses. and horse sweaters. I know, maybe buy
them that fit me. So you're welcome for readjusting
and, you know, you can be loud and proud if you
want. I don't care. I hate your face with your
microphone again. No, I think she'd think I'm
cool, but I definitely, she'd be like, step up.
Like, I can't believe you would say that. Okay,
cool. I can't believe you're offended. Okay,
if we were in a reality show together, who would
get voted off first? I don't know. I mean, I
feel like that's like me getting eaten in the
wild. I think that's a pretty easy answer. No,
I think you're entertaining. I think you were,
you... What kind of reality show? I don't know,
but I would consider it even because I think
you would be very opinionated and people would
paint you as the villain on the show as like
the, she says what everybody's thinking. Yes,
but I think about this sometimes. I wonder if
I would be me on these shows or if I would be
like, you're on TV, just be smart. Do you know
what I mean? Because in my head watching, I'm
like, why would they say that? Yeah. So I wonder
because you forget about the cameras. Yeah. Yeah,
maybe. But maybe we wouldn't because we're so
hyper aware. But but we don't know. We will never
know because it will never happen. I would never
subject myself to that. Yeah, I don't. I honestly
don't. I think it would be even because I think
it would be. Keep us for different reasons, but
also get rid of us for different reasons. Yeah.
OK, I like that. It's a diplomatic answer. Yeah,
we. would never be on a reality show. And people
always said it to our mom. Oh, my gosh. Your
life is not real. You should be on a reality
show. And my mom was like, what you don't see
is that from 8 p .m. on, I'm asleep with my mouth
open in a chair with peanut M &Ms hanging in
my hand. So like there's nothing like from 6
a .m. on. Maybe it's wild. But from 8 p .m. on,
she's asleep in a chair. It's true. So and also
we don't like being the center of attention?
No. At all. None of us. Like the St. Patrick's
Day parade actually gives us the heebie -jeebies.
I don't like anxiety, but at least favorite day.
So I'm going to say heebie -jeebies. I don't
like people looking at us. I don't like that.
That's why we're not good business people either,
because we don't like talking about our business.
We're like, oh, let's talk about something else.
I'm like, you don't have to come. Yeah, I don't
need you. You're fine. You have stuff to do.
I get it. When people are always like, oh, how
see fit? I'm like, fine. Moving on. Yeah, I'm
like, please don't please don't ask me and it's
not because we don't like to talk about work
I don't like talking about our Stuff I also don't
like talking about work Well, yeah, but I don't
like talking about me. I Really don't and that's
I think what people don't think about me. Yeah,
it's a joke I hate I'm very uncomfortable when
people ask me questions about myself it's a character
and honestly if you if If you believe Carly is
who she is like on the stage to teach you really
don't know her you know the character but she
does a good job yeah i see my acting degree is
paying is paying off yeah mom's getting all her
money back okay rapid fire around i mean rapid
fire pick one no elbows or no knees No elbows.
Yeah, same. Would you rather always whisper or
always shout? Whisper. We know this. Is cereal
soup? No. Is cereal soup? Does soup mean just
temperature? No. I guess there's cold soup. Yeah,
cereal soup. That's like saying is a taco a sandwich
or what was the first, a hot dog a sandwich or
a taco? What was the first question we ever did?
Next one is a hot dog sandwich. Oh, shut up.
I think it's a taco. Wrong. Can you cry underwater?
No, you would die. Yeah, that's true. Is that
funny to you? Is that a funny answer? I'm so
scared of water. OK. I'm going to laugh about
it. She is. But I am petrified. But I can swim.
If your thoughts had a smell, what would your
smell like right now? I also need you to prove
it. If my thought had a smell? Yeah. Good, I
love this rapid fire. Well, Carly, this is not
a rapid fire question. Who has this in their
back pocket? If my thoughts had a smell, oh my
God, go to the bathroom. I have to go to the
bathroom. Oh my God, I'm on a roller coaster.
She's shaking the couch. My thought as of this
morning would be like, sandalwood and cabbage.
My thought right now - You're right. Your younger
self would not think you're cool. I'm sorry.
I take it back. I take it way back. Victoria's
younger self is like, sandalwood and cabbage?
I hate my older self. It was a stressful thought
process this morning. Right now, my thoughts
would smell like citrus and patchouli. I don't
know. Even worse. I hate you. Okay, I'm done
with the rapid fire because she doesn't know
how to do it anyway. I'm tired. If we combined
into one person, who would be the control? You
would be the head, but I would be the neck. So
I couldn't turn the head unless you turned too?
That's right. Okay. What's the weirdest thing
you think we both do, but we never talk about?
Hold on, that was from my Big Fat Greek wedding,
by the way. That was not my thought. What a good
movie. What did you just say? Side note, I watched
Angels in the Out... I keep saying Angels in
America, and I did not watch that with my children.
Very different. We watched half of it because
we can't watch a full movie at night. Angels
in the Outfield. And it is... I haven't seen
that in a long time. Such a good movie. I was
saying the lines before they came out. It was
like my Indiana Jones, and it was so weird. How
do you know that? Because we watched it so often.
I know, but I don't think I... Well, anyway,
watch it. Angels in the Outfield. Okay. What's
the weirdest thing? Sports. Sports? What's the
weirdest thing you think we both do but never
talk about? Watch your nose drip because you're
laughing. I was getting a tissue. What's the
weirdest, what? Say it again. My God. I was looking
at your nose. What's the weirdest thing that
we both do but never talk about? The weirdest
thing that we both do. I mean, I'm sure there's
a lot. I mean, this isn't weird. Some people
might think it's weird that we spend. from 6
a .m. to 9 a .m. texting, from 9 to 10 being
together, and then from, you know, whatever time
in the day to 9 o 'clock at night working together
and then go on vacation together and then spend
the weekends together. Because nothing's actually
said. We don't talk about anything. I know, but
some people would think that's weird that we
literally spend 24 -7 and are like, oh, you want
to go to a concert on our time when we're not
together? That could be weird to some people.
That's true, that's true. I agree. This time,
this 20 minutes that's over 20 minutes, is the
only time we actually talk in the entire week.
Not about C -Fit, schedules, kids, annoyances.
But I'm sure there's other weird things that
we do. We do a lot of weird things. I don't know.
I have to, I'll come back to you. Okay, come
back. You won't. If I disappeared and came back
slightly off, what would you check first? Cause
you're like, you seem more normal now. Like check
to see if it's you or check to see if your mental
state is like, okay. That's the question I have.
So I would check your, um, instinct, trivia knowledge.
I would check your Bravo knowledge, but I'd have
to look it up to ask the questions. I would...
No, I think those are the main two. Main two.
I would agree that those are good answers. If
one of us was secretly adopted, who do you think
it would be? It's me. Yeah. I mean, 100%. Yup.
Even though you are like dad and mom, which I
think we all are, all three of us are a lot like
our dad and a lot like our mom, she is the least
like both of them. Do you know what I mean? Like,
Billy and I, we're all a little like both of
them, but she's the least like both of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm still like them. You
still are, but you're the least. Yeah, that was
a good way to say that. Nobody's gonna get in
trouble over there. Good job. That's how I most
like mom. Everyone's fair. Everything's fair.
Don't hurt anybody's feelings. If you had to
swap lives with a random person for a year, would
you do it? A whole year? Yeah. Not who would
it be? That can be a second parter. Would you
do it? But I got to be me after a year? I think
that's where they're headed. Yeah. Why not? So
who'd you pick? Whoa, whoa, whoa. You said it
wasn't about who. I said we could get there.
All right, fine. I don't know. I wouldn't want
to be a celebrity. Really? Yeah. But if you could
try that for a year knowing that it wasn't life.
Yeah, but a year is a long time. It's a long
time to be rich. Yeah. It's also a long time
to have absolutely no privacy and no allowance
for mistakes or opinions. Without judgment. Why
did it take the fun out of everything? You're
right, younger self. I'm with you. I wouldn't
pick you. Nobody should. I pick my dog. I pick
Pepper. They live the life. You are so boring.
Are you kidding? She's sleeping. She's been sleeping
for 17 ,000 hours and she's gonna wake up and
be like, yo, feed me. I'm gonna go back to sleep.
What a day! Yes, but guess what? You are at the
disposal of your owner who, if you want to eat
and you can't because you're out, you can't eat.
You have to go to the bathroom, but you can't
because you're not home. Cool life. I'm not going
to get into this. Okay. There's lots of things
I could say. Are you the same person you were
five minutes ago? No, I'm dumber. And more annoyed.
Wait, what's that line? I am now dumber, having
listened. That's not the line, but. I know, I
think I know what you're talking about. And now
we are all dumber, having listened to that. You
should only speak with knowledge. With facts.
We would not have a podcast. With a reference.
Oh. We don't have a fact check at the end, so
you just have to take what I have as Bible. That's
how you live. Maybe I should be you for a year.
It must be nice to be in there. But yes, I don't
think you were the same person you were five
minutes ago. I know I wasn't. I was in a bad
mood. Well, not five minutes ago. That's true,
that's true. Maybe 30 minutes ago, I was a different
person. Five minutes ago, I was the same person.
Specifics. Two more questions. She's the boss.
If you forgot your own name, what would you pick
as your new one? I've never, you know, I've never
thought about this. But I mean, you got to pick
a confirmation name. Adelina. Angelica. Patron
Saint of Princesses. Patron Saint of Angels.
That's a weird thing that nobody talks about.
That our mom calls me the angel and her the princess
and we pick confirmation names. She doesn't know
who we are. We should have been switched. I am
a living angel. Let's be honest. Of the underworld.
Correct. I don't have another name. Ooh, I like
Sienna. I like names like that. Ooh, I like Sienna.
Savannah was always on my list, Savannah. I like
Savannah. Pedro said, stop ruining Billy Madison.
It's from Billy Madison. We are, oh, the guy
says it at the, not the spelling bee, but whatever.
in the auditorium and he goes, we are all now
dumber. Having to head listen to that. You're
right, thank you, Pedro. Oh, Billy. To school,
to school, to show my daddy I'm not a fool. Okay,
so what would your name be? Sienna, I'm gonna
call you Sienna from now on. Let's say Sienna,
I like Sienna. Okay. Burnt Sienna. That's all
I can think of. Yeah. I almost named Pepper Sienna.
I really liked Maxine. And that was on our girl
list, but I didn't want anybody to call her Max.
I don't like Max for a girl. But you're in control
of that, Carly. Yes, but not when they get to
high school. I'm not. Why? I was in control of
everything somebody called me. That's true. That's
true. No one called me Tori, Tor, Vicky, anything.
People call Melody Mel and I hate it. Melody
has to learn how to stand up for herself. Yeah,
that's true. That's all that is. I loved Maxine
and I loved Maxie, but I don't like Max. So I
would be Maxine even though I don't look like
one. You look like a Sienna. That's just the
hair. Burnt Sienna. All right, last one. You
ready? If you could legally marry an inanimate
object, what would it be? I know what mine would
be. What? Pasta. I don't like how strongly you
said that. I don't like the confidence of how
you punched the pee. Pesto, pasta, to be exact.
You would marry it? I would marry it. I love
it so much. I would... Marry it. This is like
a real thing though. Do you ever see that? I
mean like weird. TLC show. It's like. I forget
what it's called, but like there's a woman who
married a statue in the park. She's in love with
the statue in the park. Yeah, I know it's like
a weird fetish thing. And like mental mental.
Thing I'm into it with pasta pasta really with
pasta. I had married. I love it so much. I'd
marry it. What are you gonna marry it? Yeah.
Maxine, back off. I like Lola, too. I like Lola.
I like Lola. You were going to name a Lola. Louis
was either Louis or Lola. But he's Louis. That's
how I would haunt him. Lola. I don't know. I
don't know. But I do feel bad for them. Okay,
so you're not gonna pick one? This is a fun game.
Let me explain! I can't think of anything I love
that much. That's not real. I don't know. But
I feel I have like this weird feeling of feeling
bad for something that isn't real. Me too. Do
you know what I mean? Yeah, like even I know
you're gonna say plants are real, whatever. No,
that's fine. Like when you cut the bottoms of
a plant off, it hurts me. Yeah. Because I'm like,
oh, I cut its legs off. Yeah. Or like when I
break a mug, it hurts me a little bit because
I'm like, oh, that life is over. I have to like,
yeah, I'm weird like that. Or like when I pick
a mug out, I'm like, oh, sorry, guys, I'm going
to pick this one. I do that all the time. Yeah.
Every morning, I have a rack of mugs and I'm
like, it's you today. And then when I keep picking
the same one over and over, I'm like, I got to
switch it up because I feel bad for the other
ones. Yeah. 100%. Is that a thing? It's a mental
disorder. So is that a weird thing that we both
don't talk about? Well, we didn't know to talk
about it. Now we know. I definitely I can't think
of another description, but like I will make
weird decisions because I'm like, oh, but I feel
bad for you. Like, what if it has feelings? Yeah,
no, I am. I do the same thing. And that's really
weird. Like looking around. Yeah. No, I definitely
feel the same way. It's usually with decisions,
like if you have to pick a towel or which sheets
do I put on the bed while I use you last time,
but I'll get back to you. I talk to them in my
head. I literally do that, too. We're not OK.
But I think a lot of people do that. I think
a lot of people do that, too. I think Pedro and
I had a conversation about that, actually, when
we first met. Because I think it's more normal.
I think it's like empathy. It's when I'm at the
store, like when I'm at any store. Yeah. I will
pick the first one and then I'll be like, no,
I don't want it. I'll put it back. But then if
I want it again, I'm like. And I picked another
one. I'm like, oh, but then that other one thought
it was getting picked and it didn't. And then
I picked another one of the same thing. And now
I feel bad that I didn't pick the original one.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's not good. Yeah. I don't
think it's well. I don't think it means we're
well. Oh great. Maybe it means we're sympathetic.
Empathetic. You feel it. You feel the sorrow
of that shirt not being chosen. It's empathy.
And if there's like four things in a row, I have
to get all four because I don't want to break
up the family. Have you ever not want to broken
up the family? That might be OCD. But I can't
just pick two, because I'm like, oh, and then
the kids didn't get picked. And I want the mom
and the dad and the kids to get picked too. Am
I going too far? I don't have that maternal instinct.
Nobody asked me if my younger self would think
I'm cool, because I know they wouldn't. You digressed.
You regressed. I peeked, and then I went back
down the hill. But I don't know when the peak
was, because I didn't see that happening either.
It was high school. Oh, I did not peak in high
school. I think it was like freshman year. I
was the up, yeah, I might've peaked my freshman
year of high school and then I just went downhill
from there. Anyway, don't break up the family.
If you're gonna buy a couple, you gotta buy all
of them. Yeah, just go broke. Go broke for these
inanimate objects that have some sort of feeling.
I'm with you, trust me, I agree. Damn. 20 minutes.
Thank God, I have therapy next week. I should
talk about it. I'll let you know. I'll let you
know what comes of it. Hey, what does it say
about us if this is how we shop, if we feel bad
for and make decisions? Yeah. The forks. I made
a pile of I have a very small pile of things
I want to give away because my room is a mess.
And I was like, well, actually, these are old.
I don't need that. But I like looked at it. I
almost had like a mini memorial. I was like,
I'm really sorry, guys. Yeah, I'm really sorry
that we have to. Yes, that's so weird. We had
memories. It's just time. It took us a while,
but we came around to the weirdest thing that
we do. You all do too. Don't even try. Pick out
a coffee mug. Try not to. Tomorrow morning. It's
the first decision of the morning and the one
that I don't like to make. Because I don't want
to make any of the mugs feel bad. That they're
not the favorite. Producer Pete. I don't know
if I can say this word. Anthropomorphism. Oh,
we have a disease. Anthropomorphism. Human emotion
to inanimate objects. Anthropomorphism. Anthropomorphism.
Let me say. Yeah, she'll know. Anthropomorphism.
Yeah, yeah, that's good. That's good. You say
it was different. That was different. Human emotion
to inanimate objects. There you go. That and
pasta. That's an inanimate amount of food. No.
There better not be anything living in my pasta.
I'll tell you that. Fact. But you know what is
living? Me. And I have to go to the bathroom.
Yo, if you're not tuned into watching, she has
been squirming. Different positions. Just like
watching it happen. It's great. I have to go
to the bathroom so bad. It is time. It is time.
So we just needed a silly moment. Because why
the hell not? Yeah, hopefully you did too and
you know, please let me know what your weird
isms are because It's gotta be the same It has
to be how vid hmm. Oh Wait, I'm wearing brown
on I can't go to the bathroom in these pants
I usually wear black for this reason not because
you're a grown adult on a couch, but just because
if you're wearing brown So yeah, take moments
anytime that you can with your people to just,
you know. Listen, we were in a bad mood. Smile.
I'll go back to it once this is over. But this
is a nice, this is a nice, this is a very nice
interim to the day. Cool. Happy Easter if you
celebrate. This is coming out the day after Easter
and also happy Monday, you know? Wait, no it's
not. It's coming out the day after Palm Sunday.
Easter's in two weeks. Shoot. Yeah. Happy Palm
Sunday Monday. For those that now I feel bad
for all the other Mondays, you know, I feel bad
for all the other Sundays. It's just, it's a
trickle. It's a trickle. So just remember you're
always fit to be real and always allowed to be
a little extra. I'm not ready. Don't go back
on the couch. For legal reasons, we have to tell
you that this podcast is meant for entertainment
and educational purposes only. We are not healthcare
professionals. For all of your health, wellness,
fitness, and self -care needs, please refer to
the medical professional in your life, your primary
care physician, your therapist, a certified coach,
whoever it may be. And then let us know what
they say because I guarantee we need to know
it too. Okay? Okay, bye.