WEBVTT 00:00:07.400 --> 00:00:10.660 Welcome to Fit to be Real. And a little extra. 00:00:11.080 --> 00:00:14.880 And very Christmassy. I did peace fingers. I've 00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:18.500 never done that before. In this setting. Yeah, 00:00:18.620 --> 00:00:22.899 wait. Peace fingers are your only picture option. 00:00:24.460 --> 00:00:27.079 Just to be clear. I'm Victoria. Hey guys, I'm 00:00:27.079 --> 00:00:32.280 Carly. And Carly took one for the team today. 00:00:33.619 --> 00:00:35.689 Is that what you're gonna say? took one for the 00:00:35.689 --> 00:00:40.950 team today. Yes, it was. We were away last week. 00:00:40.990 --> 00:00:46.250 And by away, I mean overwhelmed. So we did not 00:00:46.250 --> 00:00:50.009 record. No different than right now. Yeah, we 00:00:50.009 --> 00:00:53.109 were not actually away. No, I mean, we're overwhelmed. 00:00:53.950 --> 00:01:01.229 Oh. It is that time of year. Every year, every 00:01:01.229 --> 00:01:07.349 day. My God, she's lying. We're fine. Um, but 00:01:07.349 --> 00:01:11.650 we, we were not in this situation last week. 00:01:11.730 --> 00:01:14.109 How do I, how else do I say we didn't record 00:01:14.109 --> 00:01:17.189 last week? They know those of you who were still 00:01:17.189 --> 00:01:19.450 listening to us, you know, you didn't listen 00:01:19.450 --> 00:01:21.569 to us last week. We couldn't get our schedules 00:01:21.569 --> 00:01:24.189 together. Carly went away for Thanksgiving and 00:01:24.189 --> 00:01:27.730 came back with a child with an accident. So doctor's 00:01:27.730 --> 00:01:29.430 visits and making sure he's okay. It was like 00:01:29.430 --> 00:01:34.159 number one priority. And I was tired. Honest 00:01:34.159 --> 00:01:36.060 to God, that's it. That's all it was. Yeah, we 00:01:36.060 --> 00:01:38.260 just we could not get it together. He's OK. Oh, 00:01:38.260 --> 00:01:42.760 he's fine. He I mean, it was scary at the time, 00:01:42.939 --> 00:01:47.659 but he's all good. Luckily, we have some amazing 00:01:47.659 --> 00:01:51.420 see fit nurses that ran to the rescue for sure. 00:01:51.579 --> 00:01:55.000 Melissa, Justin, you helped a little. You told 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:56.579 me to keep my story straight so they wouldn't 00:01:56.579 --> 00:01:59.719 take him away from me at the hospital. Oh, my. 00:02:00.040 --> 00:02:03.739 What? I texted Justin and I said, Like, I texted 00:02:03.739 --> 00:02:06.700 him a picture of Dean, and I said, are they going 00:02:06.700 --> 00:02:08.800 to take him away from me? Oh, it does look like 00:02:08.800 --> 00:02:11.120 he got beat up. Beat up. And I said, are they 00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:12.379 going to take him away from me? He said, just 00:02:12.379 --> 00:02:16.219 keep your story consistent. That's helpful, actually. 00:02:16.639 --> 00:02:19.199 So yeah, thank you. But Alyssa actually was helpful. 00:02:20.080 --> 00:02:23.680 But yes, he's fine, and he just needs a little 00:02:23.680 --> 00:02:25.460 plastic surgery, a little nose job, and he's 00:02:25.460 --> 00:02:26.979 going to be just fine. Oh, Carly's dream. I'm 00:02:26.979 --> 00:02:30.539 a little jealous. I'll throw a sled at your face, 00:02:30.800 --> 00:02:34.240 happily. If you would like to also partake. No, 00:02:34.439 --> 00:02:36.479 we'll see. We'll see what happens with that. 00:02:36.979 --> 00:02:39.259 But he's fine. He's fine. I like your sweatshirt. 00:02:40.060 --> 00:02:45.340 It makes me want to sing. Joy and pain. Oh, that's 00:02:45.340 --> 00:02:49.199 not where I was going to go. Sunshine and rain. 00:02:49.740 --> 00:02:51.419 Oh, you got to bring that dance back. That was 00:02:51.419 --> 00:02:54.360 a good one. Nobody liked that one but you. I 00:02:54.360 --> 00:02:56.240 love that one. All right, we'll do that. What 00:02:56.240 --> 00:03:00.340 were you going to sing? Joy to the world. No. 00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:07.099 Oh, the boys and girls, joy and pain. I'm sorry. 00:03:07.919 --> 00:03:13.759 What was that octave? Joy. Very good. Very good. 00:03:14.379 --> 00:03:18.419 But that actually is what we're talking about 00:03:18.419 --> 00:03:23.400 today. Joy and pain. Oh, no, we're not. We're 00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:27.900 talking about. You liar. So I like to think. 00:03:29.239 --> 00:03:31.460 that we talk about fitness, even though you guys 00:03:31.460 --> 00:03:33.180 might not think we're a fitness podcast. It's 00:03:33.180 --> 00:03:34.919 just our brother. It's just our brother. Let's 00:03:34.919 --> 00:03:38.039 just be clear. That we talk about fitness a lot. 00:03:38.120 --> 00:03:40.180 We talk about how to keep our gut healthy, how 00:03:40.180 --> 00:03:43.960 to keep our bodies healthy. I like to do the 00:03:43.960 --> 00:03:47.780 opposite. But we talk about fitness a lot and, 00:03:47.780 --> 00:03:49.139 you know, the best kind of workouts. But today 00:03:49.139 --> 00:03:52.250 we're gonna talk about being mentally fit. and 00:03:52.250 --> 00:03:56.210 how to keep our brains healthy and fit, which 00:03:56.210 --> 00:03:58.990 until I started researching it, didn't realize 00:03:58.990 --> 00:04:04.930 how unhealthy we know. We all know how unhealthy 00:04:04.930 --> 00:04:08.270 your brain is. It's very good. You've woken up 00:04:08.270 --> 00:04:10.669 to it. Well, isn't that really the point of everything? 00:04:10.930 --> 00:04:13.830 You research to educate yourself and then realize, 00:04:14.409 --> 00:04:19.329 oh, wow, I didn't know any of this. I mean, I 00:04:19.329 --> 00:04:22.180 think, yeah. When you're learning something that 00:04:22.180 --> 00:04:23.740 you don't know, you should be like, wow, I didn't 00:04:23.740 --> 00:04:26.500 know any of this. Like, I guess. Well, five colleges 00:04:26.500 --> 00:04:29.800 will do that. But we're going to talk about being 00:04:29.800 --> 00:04:34.240 mentally fit. Depends on the season. What do 00:04:34.240 --> 00:04:37.660 you mean? Mentally fit. I feel like in winter, 00:04:38.980 --> 00:04:42.300 it's hard to be mentally fit. I know. But basically, 00:04:42.519 --> 00:04:44.339 what we're going to talk about today is ways 00:04:44.339 --> 00:04:49.639 to train and work your brain out so that just 00:04:49.639 --> 00:04:53.759 like fitness, you have to train it. It's a muscle. 00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:57.839 You have to train your brain. Did I just make 00:04:57.839 --> 00:05:02.199 that up? Yes. Yes, you did. You have to train 00:05:02.199 --> 00:05:04.600 your brain just like you would train your body. 00:05:04.660 --> 00:05:06.639 It is a muscle, and it needs to be worked out. 00:05:06.839 --> 00:05:11.300 No, you didn't rhyme body with train. So it's 00:05:11.300 --> 00:05:16.029 over. It's over. But don't you feel like... You're 00:05:16.029 --> 00:05:18.730 talking about seasons, but if you do it the right 00:05:18.730 --> 00:05:21.149 way and you train the right way It's all your 00:05:21.149 --> 00:05:23.290 room. I think I don't know what you're talking 00:05:23.290 --> 00:05:26.329 about. So let's start Let's start with what you 00:05:26.329 --> 00:05:28.610 want to talk about because that my mental fitness 00:05:28.610 --> 00:05:31.730 idea I think is is not your idea. So, okay. All 00:05:31.730 --> 00:05:34.029 right. We're let's start where I'm gonna give 00:05:34.029 --> 00:05:39.490 you some Things to think about using your brain 00:05:39.490 --> 00:05:46.420 that would be where we think So number one Train 00:05:46.420 --> 00:05:50.160 it like a muscle and let yourself feel I don't 00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:53.420 think that people let themselves feel and you 00:05:53.420 --> 00:05:58.319 have to actually Let your what it says here is 00:05:58.319 --> 00:06:03.639 Feel deal heal Uh -huh Is this gonna be like 00:06:03.639 --> 00:06:06.120 the Mel Robbins podcast where you just sit there 00:06:06.120 --> 00:06:08.660 possibly and you're like you're annoying. Yeah. 00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:15.660 Oh, yeah basically training your brain that overthinking 00:06:15.660 --> 00:06:19.660 is under feeling. If you are overthinking, you 00:06:19.660 --> 00:06:22.480 are not feeling. You knew that? That's brand 00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:26.800 new information. Brand new. Well, I think this 00:06:26.800 --> 00:06:31.439 episode is going to be great for overthinkers. 00:06:31.980 --> 00:06:35.040 I'm an overthinker. I'm an overthinker. And these 00:06:35.040 --> 00:06:36.339 are - I think a lot of people are overthinkers. 00:06:36.439 --> 00:06:38.740 I think everybody is, to a degree. You think? 00:06:38.939 --> 00:06:41.480 Yeah. Are you thinking about it right now? No. 00:06:41.639 --> 00:06:46.160 Are you? Oh. Because I believe it. I'm firm in 00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:49.300 that stance. So these, basically, the things 00:06:49.300 --> 00:06:51.680 we're going to talk about today are more geared 00:06:51.680 --> 00:06:56.360 toward over -thinkers and how to train your brain 00:06:56.360 --> 00:07:00.360 to be healthy. Drink every time she says train 00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:03.180 your brain. I don't know what you have in your 00:07:03.180 --> 00:07:05.540 hand right now, wherever you are. If you're driving, 00:07:06.040 --> 00:07:10.540 pull over. Get to a Wawa. Grab a drink. It's 00:07:10.540 --> 00:07:17.180 gonna be a long ride Yeah, so number one are 00:07:17.180 --> 00:07:19.199 you thinking about it let yes a little bit let 00:07:19.199 --> 00:07:23.720 yourself feel and Basically, it just means feel 00:07:23.720 --> 00:07:26.819 I'm gonna say it again heal deal. I love it. 00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:30.699 Yeah, we've talked about this before Feelings 00:07:30.699 --> 00:07:34.920 are energy if you think about it like that Because 00:07:34.920 --> 00:07:37.439 it's true but if you can't think about it like 00:07:37.439 --> 00:07:42.379 that for a second humor me so if you get it stuck 00:07:42.379 --> 00:07:46.699 because you don't want you want to suppress a 00:07:46.699 --> 00:07:49.319 feeling usually they're negative feelings nobody 00:07:49.319 --> 00:07:51.500 really wants to suppress joy or happiness yeah 00:07:51.500 --> 00:07:54.379 no uh some people some people can't live they 00:07:54.379 --> 00:07:56.180 live in the chaos they can't live in like the 00:07:56.180 --> 00:07:59.120 happy so maybe that's i'm already going back 00:07:59.120 --> 00:08:02.519 on on what i said but if you stop the feeling 00:08:02.519 --> 00:08:08.709 then it lives in there so For instance, shame. 00:08:09.509 --> 00:08:12.629 If you're ashamed of something that you've done 00:08:12.629 --> 00:08:15.689 or just feel shame, it's usually an inherited 00:08:15.689 --> 00:08:18.750 thing of something that shouldn't make you feel 00:08:18.750 --> 00:08:20.949 shameful, but you do because that's how you were 00:08:20.949 --> 00:08:23.990 conditioned and you don't want to feel that. 00:08:24.269 --> 00:08:25.709 And you just, well, let's just keep going. Let's 00:08:25.709 --> 00:08:27.529 just, I got to work. I got to go hustle. I got 00:08:27.529 --> 00:08:29.970 to do all these things, but that shame now gets 00:08:29.970 --> 00:08:33.190 stored in your hips. So now you can't lose weight 00:08:33.190 --> 00:08:37.320 in your hips and that anger that gets stored 00:08:37.320 --> 00:08:39.200 right in your belly. Now you can't lose weight 00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:41.419 in your belly. I mean it's all connected. Yeah. 00:08:42.220 --> 00:08:44.639 So if you think of your body like a garden hose 00:08:44.639 --> 00:08:46.559 and then you know how it can get twisted and 00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:50.299 like cranked or like um it like gets cut off. 00:08:50.419 --> 00:08:52.679 Yeah it's like a kink. Kink. Yeah. A kink in 00:08:52.679 --> 00:08:55.679 the hose. So every time you stop a feeling you 00:08:55.679 --> 00:08:57.610 create a new kink in your body. And then you 00:08:57.610 --> 00:08:59.610 can't work that body out. You can't work that 00:08:59.610 --> 00:09:02.169 out unless you start working on that feeling. 00:09:02.429 --> 00:09:04.610 So to get the hose completely straight and like 00:09:04.610 --> 00:09:07.250 flowing through like a tube, you have to acknowledge 00:09:07.250 --> 00:09:09.210 the kinks and then work through them and pop 00:09:09.210 --> 00:09:13.990 them out. Do you read this stuff on like? Like, 00:09:14.110 --> 00:09:16.570 what were those books? Something for dummies? 00:09:16.809 --> 00:09:20.690 Because the way you explain it is for me, for 00:09:20.690 --> 00:09:23.549 dummies, like the way you explain it is in like 00:09:23.549 --> 00:09:26.909 the way a child would understand it. So so me. 00:09:31.019 --> 00:09:34.700 I'm always like, oh, now I understand it. Because 00:09:34.700 --> 00:09:36.840 I can visualize, which we're going to talk about, 00:09:37.299 --> 00:09:41.519 I can visualize the kink in the hose. So very 00:09:41.519 --> 00:09:44.740 good. Clap for yourself. That was very good. 00:09:46.259 --> 00:09:48.279 At the end, I'm going to ask Victoria a question 00:09:48.279 --> 00:09:50.899 and see what she says. All right, moving on. 00:09:51.059 --> 00:09:55.759 Number two, a good thing to do to train your 00:09:55.759 --> 00:09:58.600 brain. Thought about it before I said it. Drink, 00:09:58.679 --> 00:10:02.299 drink, drink, drink. It's to brain dump. Write 00:10:02.299 --> 00:10:05.200 everything down. Don't filter it. Don't stop 00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:07.500 yourself. If it's negative thoughts, write it 00:10:07.500 --> 00:10:11.740 down. And transferring, let me say this right. 00:10:12.879 --> 00:10:14.700 The word is only transfer. It's not even hard. 00:10:15.139 --> 00:10:20.700 Oh, big word, Carly. Transferring from your brain 00:10:20.700 --> 00:10:23.039 onto paper. I'll give you, transferring from 00:10:23.039 --> 00:10:25.110 is a hard. Transferring from. That's a tough 00:10:25.110 --> 00:10:26.129 one. That's a tough one. I'll give you that. 00:10:26.169 --> 00:10:28.330 I'll give you that. Thank you. Transferring from 00:10:28.330 --> 00:10:31.110 your brain onto paper. Work that shame kink out. 00:10:31.309 --> 00:10:33.590 Work that shame kink. She can't say transfer 00:10:33.590 --> 00:10:35.190 from. That's shameful. I'm going to think about 00:10:35.190 --> 00:10:37.730 this all day. Sorry. Keep going. Sorry, sorry, 00:10:37.929 --> 00:10:41.269 sorry. OK, third time. Transferring from your 00:10:41.269 --> 00:10:44.370 brain to paper frees up space in your brain. 00:10:45.230 --> 00:10:49.639 So journaling? Yeah, basically. Aw. I really 00:10:49.639 --> 00:10:51.320 thought you were with me on that one. Carly, 00:10:51.539 --> 00:10:55.100 this is insane. But I've never thought of it 00:10:55.100 --> 00:10:58.639 like that. I don't do any of this. We know. OK. 00:10:58.679 --> 00:11:02.820 Do you? Yes. OK. I've got one right there. And 00:11:02.820 --> 00:11:04.799 I just wrote myself. Here, I'll show you. So 00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:09.860 you are mentally fit. Producer has texted, say 00:11:09.860 --> 00:11:13.799 kink again. Wait, I almost wanted to be like, 00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:15.919 I made her say kink. And then I was like, oh, 00:11:15.919 --> 00:11:19.899 I'm going to get canceled. Oh my God, I thought 00:11:19.899 --> 00:11:21.559 I was gonna be like, it looks great, sounds great, 00:11:21.559 --> 00:11:25.740 keep going. Nope, kink. Thanks, Pedro. Useless. 00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:28.259 I just, and if you can see, I don't know where 00:11:28.259 --> 00:11:32.940 the camera is. Look at that long note. Woo! If 00:11:32.940 --> 00:11:35.279 you're not tuning in, it's a long novel of a 00:11:35.279 --> 00:11:38.860 note. Holy God. I just worked out by myself and 00:11:38.860 --> 00:11:40.960 did the whole, I'm flipping the switch because 00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:44.720 I can't stand life as it is. You flipped the 00:11:44.720 --> 00:11:48.120 switch? Flipped it. Okay. I've got plans. I've 00:11:48.120 --> 00:11:50.580 got big plans And so I've couldn't get to my 00:11:50.580 --> 00:11:51.919 journal fast enough and I knew you were about 00:11:51.919 --> 00:11:53.779 to walk in the door So I just whipped my notepad 00:11:53.779 --> 00:11:56.659 out Because if it doesn't it's like thoughts 00:11:56.659 --> 00:12:02.259 are nice But it's it's like goals for the new 00:12:02.259 --> 00:12:05.539 year or intentions for the new year It's nothing 00:12:05.539 --> 00:12:07.100 if you're not putting it to action right like 00:12:07.100 --> 00:12:09.740 they're just thoughts words are just words stories 00:12:09.740 --> 00:12:14.320 are just stories so to write it down lets it 00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:17.879 out. And it gets it out so that you can free 00:12:17.879 --> 00:12:20.279 up space to think of other things. To start on 00:12:20.279 --> 00:12:24.019 the action of what you want to do or to, yeah, 00:12:24.019 --> 00:12:27.019 think about things that need to be thought about 00:12:27.019 --> 00:12:30.360 versus. Right, we'll get there. The anxiety. 00:12:30.379 --> 00:12:33.220 We'll get there. Anxiety. I want to get through 00:12:33.220 --> 00:12:34.919 these really quickly because I have some important 00:12:34.919 --> 00:12:36.740 things I want to talk about. These are important 00:12:36.740 --> 00:12:40.620 too. But this is basically like steps to work 00:12:40.620 --> 00:12:44.740 out. Okay. Reduce decision fatigue. I don't know 00:12:44.740 --> 00:12:46.799 about you, but do you ever see that notebook 00:12:46.799 --> 00:12:51.259 meme that's like, what do you want? Like they're 00:12:51.259 --> 00:12:53.240 in the rain. The notebook, the movie. Yeah. Yeah. 00:12:53.240 --> 00:12:54.960 The notebook, the movie where he's like, and 00:12:54.960 --> 00:12:56.940 it's always funny because it's where do you want 00:12:56.940 --> 00:12:58.559 to go for dinner? And he's like, what do you 00:12:58.559 --> 00:13:02.779 want? You know, I don't know. That's me every 00:13:02.779 --> 00:13:06.360 night. We need to figure out. That's a weird 00:13:06.360 --> 00:13:10.269 kink. There you go. Can't be. Love you, boo. 00:13:10.409 --> 00:13:12.809 Happy anniversary. Oh, is it today? No, it's 00:13:12.809 --> 00:13:15.269 a year and a half. It's the ninth, so it's a 00:13:15.269 --> 00:13:16.990 year and a half today. God, I hate you guys. 00:13:17.129 --> 00:13:23.529 July is the full two. So simplify choices. No 00:13:23.529 --> 00:13:28.570 one's on your side. Because you brain -dumped 00:13:28.570 --> 00:13:31.450 and wrote everything down without a filter, you 00:13:31.450 --> 00:13:35.909 can now simplify your decisions and simplify 00:13:35.909 --> 00:13:39.309 your choices so that decisions can be made and 00:13:39.309 --> 00:13:42.629 you don't have an overwhelming, like I know how 00:13:42.629 --> 00:13:45.070 I feel sometimes where I'm like, remember my 00:13:45.070 --> 00:13:46.830 birthday? I said I don't want to be involved. 00:13:47.090 --> 00:13:49.870 I make decisions all day long for the kids, for 00:13:49.870 --> 00:13:52.750 me, for CFIT, for the family, like for Andrew. 00:13:53.250 --> 00:13:56.970 I don't, I cannot handle any more decisions. 00:13:56.990 --> 00:14:00.970 This is super fun for all of us. But I was overloaded. 00:14:00.970 --> 00:14:02.850 So if you do that brain dump, write everything 00:14:02.850 --> 00:14:05.889 down, then you can piece by piece decide what 00:14:05.889 --> 00:14:08.779 decisions are important and ones that you're 00:14:08.779 --> 00:14:12.059 just creating in your mind. Yeah. Yeah. I like 00:14:12.059 --> 00:14:15.120 that. Hold on. I actually have a book today. 00:14:15.840 --> 00:14:21.519 My god, she licked her finger. Oh, this one was 00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:24.759 good. Number four, a thought parking lot. So 00:14:24.759 --> 00:14:27.679 this is like the brain dump where you write it 00:14:27.679 --> 00:14:32.039 down, but you save it for later. You can't completely 00:14:32.039 --> 00:14:36.600 free up your brain. You have to write down Your 00:14:36.600 --> 00:14:39.419 worries your thoughts your anxieties to get back 00:14:39.419 --> 00:14:43.580 to at a later date Carly You're explaining how 00:14:43.580 --> 00:14:49.759 to write a list Of things to do Well, no this 00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:51.860 one specifically that it's called the thought 00:14:51.860 --> 00:14:54.080 parking lot. It stops the mind from treating 00:14:54.080 --> 00:14:57.960 everything as urgent. So you're basically writing 00:14:57.960 --> 00:15:02.259 a list Don't tell me more of what is urgent if 00:15:02.259 --> 00:15:04.919 you have any because a lot of things a lot of 00:15:04.919 --> 00:15:07.740 times In my mind, everything's urgent when none 00:15:07.740 --> 00:15:11.860 of it's urgent. I just saw a post, a meme or 00:15:11.860 --> 00:15:15.460 whatever this morning that was like, the real 00:15:15.460 --> 00:15:18.740 laugh is that everyone thinks, it wasn't these 00:15:18.740 --> 00:15:22.200 words, but it was that everybody thinks like 00:15:22.200 --> 00:15:24.779 everything's a rush. Like we don't have to live 00:15:24.779 --> 00:15:26.879 in a rush. You don't have to rush to go do the 00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:28.899 errand. You don't have to go rush to get to the 00:15:28.899 --> 00:15:30.399 party in time. You don't have to rush to make 00:15:30.399 --> 00:15:35.120 it to work. Like we live in this rush. But it 00:15:35.120 --> 00:15:36.759 life's just a bunch of stop signs. So like what 00:15:36.759 --> 00:15:39.220 are we rushing for? Yeah, you have to stop either 00:15:39.220 --> 00:15:41.340 way So this is a helpful way to do that, you 00:15:41.340 --> 00:15:45.399 know make a list of things to do or not do or 00:15:45.399 --> 00:15:47.299 Decisions to make or not make you can make them 00:15:47.299 --> 00:15:50.879 in a later date Yes, the parking lot. Uh -huh. 00:15:51.059 --> 00:15:54.120 Okay number five Lots of lines on a notebook 00:15:54.120 --> 00:15:56.519 pad lots of lines in a parking lot. I get it. 00:15:56.519 --> 00:16:00.360 I get it Victoria's gonna love this one anchor 00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:04.779 in the present so Do you know my old, do you 00:16:04.779 --> 00:16:10.500 know the old saying? Bye. Be in it. You know 00:16:10.500 --> 00:16:18.019 that famous saying? Just be in it. If you don't, 00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:21.240 you know that old adage. Listen back to a few 00:16:21.240 --> 00:16:26.279 podcasts ago. So overthinking, I'm raising my 00:16:26.279 --> 00:16:28.419 hand because I am an over thinker, means your 00:16:28.419 --> 00:16:31.519 mind is in the past or it's in the future. You're 00:16:31.519 --> 00:16:33.240 thinking about things that happened yesterday, 00:16:33.480 --> 00:16:34.679 you're worried about things that are happening 00:16:34.679 --> 00:16:37.240 in the future, but you need to anchor it in the 00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:41.139 present. And I feel like that is very hard to 00:16:41.139 --> 00:16:48.740 do. I am very much presently angry. So they say, 00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:53.480 they, the gods say that you, when this happens 00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:55.940 to you and you feel like you need to be present, 00:16:56.299 --> 00:16:59.720 you actually say the words, I need to be where 00:16:59.720 --> 00:17:03.450 my feet are. Say that out loud, and it trains 00:17:03.450 --> 00:17:08.789 your brain to be in the present. This is not 00:17:08.789 --> 00:17:10.529 new news. Do you do that? I'm not saying it's 00:17:10.529 --> 00:17:14.089 new news. But I'm happy for you. Do you do that? 00:17:15.390 --> 00:17:19.809 I don't say that phrase. But I will bring myself 00:17:19.809 --> 00:17:21.769 back to reality for a second in a different way. 00:17:22.390 --> 00:17:25.009 So one of the phrases that they said that I really 00:17:25.009 --> 00:17:27.910 liked was, presence is power. And I thought that 00:17:27.910 --> 00:17:34.690 was very Powerful. You're doing yoga wrong. You've 00:17:34.690 --> 00:17:38.230 been doing yoga wrong your entire life. Well, 00:17:38.230 --> 00:17:40.190 my problem is I haven't been to yoga in a very 00:17:40.190 --> 00:17:43.150 long time. Yeah, I know. And I was feeling really 00:17:43.150 --> 00:17:45.490 good. Same. Right? I was feeling really good. 00:17:45.490 --> 00:17:47.369 And I was feeling like I was being more present. 00:17:48.009 --> 00:17:49.670 Remember, I wanted to put my phone down. I want 00:17:49.670 --> 00:17:51.769 to be with the kids. Really? You couldn't do 00:17:51.769 --> 00:17:54.049 Shavasana, which is laying down, meditating. 00:17:54.250 --> 00:17:56.309 You have to work in your brain. The last time 00:17:56.309 --> 00:17:58.609 I went to yoga, what happened during my Shavasana? 00:17:59.639 --> 00:18:01.920 You fell asleep. I fell asleep. That's not meditation. 00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:04.220 That's falling asleep. And what that means is 00:18:04.220 --> 00:18:06.359 you're not getting enough sleep. That doesn't 00:18:06.359 --> 00:18:08.200 mean you're relaxed. That means you're not getting 00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:09.619 enough sleep. You can't come back for a while 00:18:09.619 --> 00:18:15.660 until you cannot sleep during Shavasana. Telling 00:18:15.660 --> 00:18:17.700 yourself to ground yourself and plant yourself 00:18:17.700 --> 00:18:21.079 in your feet. That is how you stop a panic attack. 00:18:22.329 --> 00:18:25.569 So it's good for all, like that specific phrase 00:18:25.569 --> 00:18:29.130 is very relaxing in a moment of like, hold on, 00:18:29.289 --> 00:18:31.210 let me, I'm thinking too hard. Let me just stay 00:18:31.210 --> 00:18:35.490 here. But a panic attack, you have to name five 00:18:35.490 --> 00:18:38.670 things around you. And that just brings you out 00:18:38.670 --> 00:18:41.150 of like the floating thing in your head of all 00:18:41.150 --> 00:18:43.150 the worry and all the awful and all the I'm gonna 00:18:43.150 --> 00:18:46.210 die feelings of like, you can't breathe. And 00:18:46.210 --> 00:18:49.750 it tells you, okay, stockings, cactus, couch. 00:18:50.059 --> 00:18:52.940 blanket and then it tells you like your brain 00:18:52.940 --> 00:18:55.259 starts to tell your body where you are and then 00:18:55.259 --> 00:18:57.200 it's not actually real this panic that you're 00:18:57.200 --> 00:19:00.319 in so that presence is a yeah it is powerful 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:03.420 that i've read about that and i've only ever 00:19:03.420 --> 00:19:07.220 had i want to say one real panic attack in my 00:19:07.220 --> 00:19:10.839 whole life and do you remember and i called you 00:19:10.839 --> 00:19:14.480 and you made me she wasn't with me but she made 00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:19.140 me lay down on the ground in my house until i 00:19:19.140 --> 00:19:24.920 like Calm down. It had to do with CFIT. So we're 00:19:24.920 --> 00:19:27.839 still here. We're still here. It didn't ruin 00:19:27.839 --> 00:19:31.119 us. All right. Next one. Number six, talk to 00:19:31.119 --> 00:19:34.099 yourself like a friend. Now this seems very straightforward, 00:19:34.099 --> 00:19:37.059 but it's also like doing a pushup, doing a burpee. 00:19:37.140 --> 00:19:39.079 Like the more you do it, the better you get at 00:19:39.079 --> 00:19:41.480 it. Do you like how I did that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:44.940 How do you talk to your friends? And that's how 00:19:44.940 --> 00:19:48.359 you would talk to yourself. How do you talk to 00:19:48.359 --> 00:19:51.339 your imaginary friends, Carly? Tell us. Tell 00:19:51.339 --> 00:19:59.880 us. We'd all like to know. Silence. Carly? No 00:19:59.880 --> 00:20:03.539 new friends is Carly's, like, M .O., but that's 00:20:03.539 --> 00:20:05.339 just because she can't keep the one she has. 00:20:05.420 --> 00:20:08.759 I'm a horrible friend. You are. You are. I cannot 00:20:08.759 --> 00:20:11.380 be good at everything. I am, too. I am, too. 00:20:11.619 --> 00:20:17.200 Well, what are you... Hold, please. I am too. 00:20:17.480 --> 00:20:19.039 There are seasons where I'm a really great friend. 00:20:19.059 --> 00:20:21.039 There are seasons where I fall off the face of 00:20:21.039 --> 00:20:24.559 the earth. Everybody's got it. Carly's only, 00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:27.200 she's not on the earth. She's fallen off years 00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:29.599 ago, never got back on. Honest to God, if it 00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:32.779 wasn't for my cousin Julie, I wouldn't have had 00:20:32.779 --> 00:20:34.460 friends in high school. And if it wasn't for 00:20:34.460 --> 00:20:36.759 Victoria, I wouldn't have had friends the rest 00:20:36.759 --> 00:20:41.779 of my life. Victoria does, like keeps me in contact 00:20:41.779 --> 00:20:46.099 with friends. I feel like. I'm not great. And 00:20:46.099 --> 00:20:48.039 I haven't been great recently. Yeah. Life has 00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:51.319 just been, like, a lot. So it's not, I mean, 00:20:51.319 --> 00:20:53.519 it's not your fault. No, I mean, it is my fault. 00:20:53.599 --> 00:20:58.059 I don't do what the next one is. Look how good 00:20:58.059 --> 00:21:01.019 this is. I don't act now. OK, hold on. But how 00:21:01.019 --> 00:21:05.039 do you talk to your friends? Oh. I mean, no. 00:21:05.099 --> 00:21:07.319 You talk to your friends. The nicer the tone, 00:21:07.380 --> 00:21:09.680 that's how you should talk to yourself. The more, 00:21:10.039 --> 00:21:12.980 this is going to sound like a bad sentence structure. 00:21:13.500 --> 00:21:17.259 Oh, no, no. The nicer you talk to yourself, it 00:21:17.259 --> 00:21:24.279 trains your brain to believe that. Wow. Number 00:21:24.279 --> 00:21:29.460 seven, act now. Overthinking, just like it's 00:21:29.460 --> 00:21:32.279 under feeling, it's also under acting. Just like 00:21:32.279 --> 00:21:35.619 Victoria said earlier, you need to do like write 00:21:35.619 --> 00:21:37.940 down those small things so that you can take 00:21:37.940 --> 00:21:40.299 action on them. And I think that is, number one, 00:21:40.380 --> 00:21:44.319 the hardest part of being mentally I mean, you 00:21:44.319 --> 00:21:46.559 can call it mentally fit, mentally stable, mentally 00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:48.819 aware. I think that's the hardest part is acting 00:21:48.819 --> 00:21:57.299 on it. Yeah. I was thinking about, I mean, you 00:21:57.299 --> 00:21:59.440 can go through all the options of how you would 00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:01.180 have to act on something, whether it's for yourself, 00:22:01.259 --> 00:22:03.079 whether it's an obstacle for your family, whether 00:22:03.079 --> 00:22:05.619 it's something you have to take the action or 00:22:05.619 --> 00:22:07.200 else nothing will change. So I was trying to 00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:09.099 think of like, yeah, but, but there is no but. 00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:12.329 Every situation. That falls under well, so you 00:22:12.329 --> 00:22:14.210 take that list of things that you've written 00:22:14.210 --> 00:22:18.329 down or things that you Put in the parking lot 00:22:18.329 --> 00:22:20.750 to deal with later and you have to start small 00:22:20.750 --> 00:22:24.410 You can't change the world in one day You've 00:22:24.410 --> 00:22:27.490 got to start small put action to it figure out 00:22:27.490 --> 00:22:29.789 which actually leads me to my next one which 00:22:29.789 --> 00:22:34.609 is focus on what you can control which is I am 00:22:34.609 --> 00:22:38.470 nowhere near fit in this area. I do not focus 00:22:38.470 --> 00:22:41.319 on what I can control I focus on Everything that 00:22:41.319 --> 00:22:44.339 I can't control and I forget about what I can 00:22:44.339 --> 00:22:48.140 control You just want to control. Well, I think 00:22:48.140 --> 00:22:50.339 I looked at it. Okay, let's try and be Victoria 00:22:50.339 --> 00:22:54.299 think of two circles there's a small circle and 00:22:54.299 --> 00:22:56.740 there's an outer circle and the small circle 00:22:56.740 --> 00:22:59.519 is what you can control and the outer circle 00:22:59.519 --> 00:23:04.299 is what you can't and I can I feel like you can 00:23:04.299 --> 00:23:06.740 make a pathway to the to the middle, but I am 00:23:06.740 --> 00:23:09.420 just so worried about getting every inch of that 00:23:09.420 --> 00:23:11.920 outside circle that I forget about the inside. 00:23:12.400 --> 00:23:15.720 Well, your inside circle should be a dot because 00:23:15.720 --> 00:23:18.880 you can't really control much. That's true. Right. 00:23:20.900 --> 00:23:23.880 But I but that was a very good analogy. Thank 00:23:23.880 --> 00:23:26.740 you. I was I was seeing it. Were you seeing it? 00:23:26.960 --> 00:23:29.839 Yeah. It says under focus on what you can control 00:23:29.839 --> 00:23:32.599 that you need to, like what Victoria said, write 00:23:32.599 --> 00:23:38.069 a list and visual. when you see the visual, it 00:23:38.069 --> 00:23:41.369 completely helps you 100 % on, oh, we haven't 00:23:41.369 --> 00:23:46.789 said 100 % in a while. 100 %? 100%. Visualization 00:23:46.789 --> 00:23:51.670 is basically the key to being mentally on par. 00:23:51.990 --> 00:23:54.869 Think about it, when you were in school, specifically 00:23:54.869 --> 00:23:57.630 us, like when you were in school, I don't know 00:23:57.630 --> 00:24:02.210 if every... Teenage or child's mind works like 00:24:02.210 --> 00:24:04.150 this in school, but we were flashcard people. 00:24:04.150 --> 00:24:06.589 Oh, yeah, if I didn't make flashcards I wasn't 00:24:06.589 --> 00:24:08.809 really studying well and I definitely wasn't 00:24:08.809 --> 00:24:11.470 going to perform my best on the test. Mm -hmm. 00:24:11.609 --> 00:24:17.450 So flashcards was like The only way if I'm thinking 00:24:17.450 --> 00:24:19.670 about it and I rewrote once I got into college 00:24:19.670 --> 00:24:23.130 I rewrote my notes. So if I was doing the flashcards, 00:24:23.130 --> 00:24:27.210 I'd also write them down So if it works for schooling 00:24:28.149 --> 00:24:33.130 Why wouldn't it work for life, like the school 00:24:33.130 --> 00:24:37.490 of life? And we lose that. Once we become like 00:24:37.490 --> 00:24:40.690 adults, I'm quoting adults for those of you listening, 00:24:41.029 --> 00:24:44.410 because that's not real. It's like, well, you 00:24:44.410 --> 00:24:45.769 do that in school. Well, why can't you do it 00:24:45.769 --> 00:24:47.210 now? Make it work for you. Like if it worked 00:24:47.210 --> 00:24:50.009 for you then, it can work for you now. So why 00:24:50.009 --> 00:24:53.009 not flip it to whatever it needs to be done in 00:24:53.009 --> 00:24:55.799 this phase of your life? That I never understood. 00:24:56.440 --> 00:24:58.880 I agree. It's the post -it notes we talked about. 00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:00.339 Yes. Put it on your mirror. Put it out in the 00:25:00.339 --> 00:25:02.339 door as you walk out. Visualize it. Look at it. 00:25:02.640 --> 00:25:05.140 Say it out loud. Read it. It's a flash card. 00:25:05.799 --> 00:25:08.059 You're studying for the test. The test is to 00:25:08.059 --> 00:25:10.859 have peace in your life with yourself, your outer 00:25:10.859 --> 00:25:14.579 self, the outer world, the chaos. Peace is powerful. 00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:20.420 Oh, put it on a t -shirt. Peace is powerful. 00:25:20.980 --> 00:25:27.319 Presence is powerful. pimples are powerful because 00:25:27.319 --> 00:25:30.359 they take over. Everything happens in threes. 00:25:30.380 --> 00:25:34.980 Doesn't matter how old you are. Anyway, so those 00:25:34.980 --> 00:25:38.799 are just some ways you can try to restructure 00:25:38.799 --> 00:25:41.019 or, you know, for this purpose, we're saying 00:25:41.019 --> 00:25:46.019 train the muscle. I didn't say train your... 00:25:46.019 --> 00:25:49.640 Train the muscle that is in your head so that 00:25:49.640 --> 00:25:53.809 you can be productive, present. more mentally 00:25:53.809 --> 00:25:56.990 aware of what's going around you and not fixating 00:25:56.990 --> 00:25:59.609 on that outer circle of things that you can't 00:25:59.609 --> 00:26:01.369 control. And then it's taking over your life. 00:26:01.450 --> 00:26:04.829 And then the things that you can, you lost it. 00:26:05.349 --> 00:26:08.450 So just like a workout and you're training your 00:26:08.450 --> 00:26:11.369 body, it doesn't work on the outside if it doesn't 00:26:11.369 --> 00:26:15.109 work on the inside. And I mean, I feel like I 00:26:15.109 --> 00:26:18.630 know that better than anybody. I know the inside's 00:26:18.630 --> 00:26:24.589 not working. You know. everything. I know how 00:26:24.589 --> 00:26:27.730 the, you know, you can, you can be physically 00:26:27.730 --> 00:26:30.490 fit. If your mind is not right, it's not going 00:26:30.490 --> 00:26:32.990 to work. The outside's not going to work if your 00:26:32.990 --> 00:26:34.990 inside's not right. It's not going to be sustainable. 00:26:35.269 --> 00:26:38.970 Yeah. So just a couple, I'm going to leave you 00:26:38.970 --> 00:26:40.849 with, we're not leaving you yet, but I'm going 00:26:40.849 --> 00:26:44.049 to give you some things to not overthink about. 00:26:44.329 --> 00:26:49.109 Think about just enough. Okay. Okay. There's 00:26:49.109 --> 00:26:51.660 a limit. Yeah. Well, we're going to talk about 00:26:51.660 --> 00:26:55.940 that too. Overthinking is your brain's survival 00:26:55.940 --> 00:27:00.819 mode. Do you believe that? Yeah. This isn't a 00:27:00.819 --> 00:27:02.480 true or false. I'm just asking you if you believe 00:27:02.480 --> 00:27:06.279 that. Yeah, because it's how you were trained. 00:27:06.960 --> 00:27:09.460 You being brought up, the world you got brought 00:27:09.460 --> 00:27:14.500 up in was training you for adulthood when you're 00:27:14.500 --> 00:27:18.940 on your own. Think of it that way. that overthinking 00:27:18.940 --> 00:27:21.980 that you either adopt to the nth degree and you 00:27:21.980 --> 00:27:25.720 are the champion over thinker or the little moments 00:27:25.720 --> 00:27:28.339 if you're not you overthink but it's not as much 00:27:28.339 --> 00:27:32.059 like there are levels to it so if you were in 00:27:32.059 --> 00:27:38.660 training all of those years to make the decisions 00:27:38.660 --> 00:27:41.099 like if you were a parentified child and you 00:27:41.099 --> 00:27:42.720 had to make a lot of decisions and you were the 00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:45.440 emotional support for your parent or you had 00:27:45.930 --> 00:27:50.130 just so many family issues or just thought it 00:27:50.130 --> 00:27:52.930 was fine, but there were definitely emotionally 00:27:52.930 --> 00:27:56.529 problematic things with your parents, whatever 00:27:56.529 --> 00:27:59.849 it is, and overthinking, because you had to stay 00:27:59.849 --> 00:28:02.829 a step ahead. So survival mode is being a step 00:28:02.829 --> 00:28:05.210 ahead of the problem so that you can make it 00:28:05.210 --> 00:28:06.730 work and you can make everybody happy. And then 00:28:06.730 --> 00:28:09.170 you turn into a people pleaser. And you're never 00:28:09.170 --> 00:28:11.410 in the present. You're never in the moment because 00:28:11.410 --> 00:28:13.150 you're constantly having to stay a step ahead. 00:28:13.390 --> 00:28:17.400 So survival mode, 100%. If you don't use it, 00:28:17.480 --> 00:28:20.880 you lose it. I made that one up, I didn't write 00:28:20.880 --> 00:28:25.299 it down. You made that up. I did. You made that 00:28:25.299 --> 00:28:27.640 up? You guys ever see the movie 40 Year Old Virgin? 00:28:27.960 --> 00:28:31.140 Is that not the best movie in the world? If you 00:28:31.140 --> 00:28:33.819 don't use it, do you lose it? So you didn't make 00:28:33.819 --> 00:28:36.859 it up. No, I didn't. Well, it's a line from the 00:28:36.859 --> 00:28:38.279 movie. You made it up for this. I did. I just 00:28:38.279 --> 00:28:40.500 added it in there. Okay. No, what it says, train 00:28:40.500 --> 00:28:42.759 it, don't fight it, which is basically the whole 00:28:42.759 --> 00:28:45.099 point of this. You need to train your brain like 00:28:45.099 --> 00:28:48.839 muscle so you don't fight. Keep saying it until 00:28:48.839 --> 00:28:51.380 it's true. This is a good practice. Yeah, there 00:28:51.380 --> 00:28:55.480 we go. Oh, I thought this was so interesting 00:28:55.480 --> 00:28:56.880 and I'm sure you already know it. Don't look 00:28:56.880 --> 00:28:58.900 at me right now. I can't wait. Your brain is 00:28:58.900 --> 00:29:01.599 at its most impressionable in the first 90 minutes 00:29:01.599 --> 00:29:04.940 of your day. So what you feed, What you feed 00:29:04.940 --> 00:29:07.160 it sets the tone for the whole day. So if you 00:29:07.160 --> 00:29:09.960 wake up and you are scrolling and you're seeing 00:29:09.960 --> 00:29:11.720 negative, negative, and you're feeling bad about 00:29:11.720 --> 00:29:13.960 yourself, that sets the tone for the entire day. 00:29:15.039 --> 00:29:16.640 Yeah, we talked about, we've talked about this. 00:29:16.779 --> 00:29:18.200 I know, but then I was thinking immediately, 00:29:18.539 --> 00:29:21.420 like my kids, the first 90 minutes, I'm like, 00:29:21.420 --> 00:29:25.380 hurry up, you're late. And I'm like, man, oh 00:29:25.380 --> 00:29:30.420 no. Yeah. That's horrible. Yes. I gotta stop 00:29:30.420 --> 00:29:32.640 that. Because what do you do when you wake up? 00:29:32.640 --> 00:29:36.329 You sit. with coffee on your phone. So your day 00:29:36.329 --> 00:29:39.109 has started like that and then you're starting 00:29:39.109 --> 00:29:43.410 their day because you're in that mode. Because 00:29:43.410 --> 00:29:45.490 I have already been up for 90 minutes and now 00:29:45.490 --> 00:29:48.690 I'm ready to go and I have not given them the 00:29:48.690 --> 00:29:52.150 chance to... Yes, but talk about yourself. You've 00:29:52.150 --> 00:29:54.289 also been scrolling online. You're not reading 00:29:54.289 --> 00:29:58.369 a book. You're not taking time to... sit outside 00:29:58.369 --> 00:30:00.529 and just, like, take it in. You're scrolling 00:30:00.529 --> 00:30:03.849 on the internet. Well, recently, because I love 00:30:03.849 --> 00:30:06.529 Christmas, I've been sitting, drinking my coffee, 00:30:06.670 --> 00:30:08.430 looking at the Christmas decorations. On your 00:30:08.430 --> 00:30:12.869 phone. Yeah, but I'm posting for the day. I'm 00:30:12.869 --> 00:30:17.349 working. You start your day working. And my sneakers 00:30:17.349 --> 00:30:20.450 and my robe. I don't care what you're wearing 00:30:20.450 --> 00:30:24.450 anymore. You do you. No, but that was very eye 00:30:24.450 --> 00:30:27.029 -opening for me. Yeah. That your brain is the 00:30:27.029 --> 00:30:29.930 most impressionable. That's why I started getting 00:30:29.930 --> 00:30:34.269 up two hours before I have to talk to people. 00:30:35.730 --> 00:30:39.750 I'm losing sleep, which is not great. But I get 00:30:39.750 --> 00:30:43.930 up. I get ready. I make coffee. I sit down in 00:30:43.930 --> 00:30:48.299 quiet with my dog. and I don't get on my phone 00:30:48.299 --> 00:30:50.980 right away. I don't. What do you do? I will get 00:30:50.980 --> 00:30:53.839 the phone, so I don't do the full 90 minutes 00:30:53.839 --> 00:30:56.779 a week without touching my phone. I do nothing. 00:30:56.839 --> 00:30:59.519 You do nothing? I sit here, I breathe, I look 00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:05.240 out the window, I sip coffee in silence. Interesting. 00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:07.599 In silence. I don't even want Christmas music. 00:31:07.700 --> 00:31:11.019 Yeah. But then I get my phone out, and I scroll, 00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:13.299 and I do. And I don't want to do it. I've been 00:31:13.299 --> 00:31:16.119 saying it to... In client conversations. I've 00:31:16.119 --> 00:31:17.759 been saying I want to get a book. I have so many 00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:19.900 books I know it'd be a great time to start a 00:31:19.900 --> 00:31:22.519 chapter or a couple pages like it doesn't have 00:31:22.519 --> 00:31:25.779 to be that Do you a chapter morning? That's too 00:31:25.779 --> 00:31:29.279 much or crossword puzzle? No, I won't do that. 00:31:29.339 --> 00:31:31.099 Okay. I know I won't do that I'm not gonna set 00:31:31.099 --> 00:31:32.880 myself up for that, but I have a bunch of books 00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:35.759 that I really want to read Yeah, so why get it 00:31:35.759 --> 00:31:38.200 here set it I set my coffee the night before 00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:40.579 why can't I set my book? you know, like I'm gonna 00:31:40.579 --> 00:31:43.700 start doing that because This is just reinforced 00:31:43.700 --> 00:31:46.380 what I've been thinking for so long. But it's 00:31:46.380 --> 00:31:47.740 very important how you start your day. Yeah. 00:31:47.900 --> 00:31:49.960 And it was very eye -opening for me. I mean, 00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:51.819 I think you can say it to me till you're blue 00:31:51.819 --> 00:31:53.740 on the face, but until you realize it for yourself. 00:31:54.579 --> 00:31:56.960 You know. It's really tired. You know that old 00:31:56.960 --> 00:32:00.079 adage. It's exhausting. Oh, this one, my last 00:32:00.079 --> 00:32:03.880 one. This one was also very eye -opening. Anxiety 00:32:03.880 --> 00:32:07.059 and excitement are made of the same chemical 00:32:07.059 --> 00:32:10.029 signal in your body. Mm. Anxiety and excitement. 00:32:10.269 --> 00:32:12.890 Think about that. How excited you get is the 00:32:12.890 --> 00:32:15.710 same chemical in your body as anxiety. I just 00:32:15.710 --> 00:32:20.289 said it backwards, but it's fine. So what the 00:32:20.289 --> 00:32:24.490 tip is is to label it excited instead of I'm 00:32:24.490 --> 00:32:26.549 scared. It's like I thought about it as like 00:32:26.549 --> 00:32:28.730 going into a haunted house. Be like, oh my gosh, 00:32:28.730 --> 00:32:33.109 I'm so excited. And it rewires your brain to 00:32:33.109 --> 00:32:36.130 put a little positive spin on it instead of the 00:32:36.130 --> 00:32:38.670 negative. So you're not going downward, you're 00:32:38.670 --> 00:32:42.190 going up. And that to me, I was like, oh God, 00:32:42.869 --> 00:32:44.650 that's huge. So putting a name, we've talked 00:32:44.650 --> 00:32:46.789 about this too, and I think we said it in a different 00:32:46.789 --> 00:32:49.990 way where we called anxiety like Betty. So if 00:32:49.990 --> 00:32:52.849 you put a name to what you're feeling, what you're 00:32:52.849 --> 00:32:54.490 thinking, I start every one of my yoga classes 00:32:54.490 --> 00:32:57.569 like this, then it lessens the intensity of what 00:32:57.569 --> 00:32:59.210 that feeling is. You're still feeling it, you're 00:32:59.210 --> 00:33:00.849 still letting it flow through and get through 00:33:00.849 --> 00:33:04.400 the kinks and work them out. You said it. Drink 00:33:04.400 --> 00:33:06.680 every time I say that. Go back, start it over 00:33:06.680 --> 00:33:11.460 and play that game. But it lessens its intensity 00:33:11.460 --> 00:33:14.440 where it's not in control of you. That's the 00:33:14.440 --> 00:33:16.299 whole point of meditation. Once you get through 00:33:16.299 --> 00:33:19.200 yoga, if you think of it in yoga sense, you're 00:33:19.200 --> 00:33:20.680 doing a bunch of movements, you're moving your 00:33:20.680 --> 00:33:23.819 body, whether you know them or not, that's to 00:33:23.819 --> 00:33:26.259 get all the kinks out of your body, if you're 00:33:26.259 --> 00:33:29.099 really tight, so that you can lay there in stillness. 00:33:29.450 --> 00:33:32.049 in peace and let everything flow. You can't lay 00:33:32.049 --> 00:33:34.670 there in meditation if everything is bound up. 00:33:34.829 --> 00:33:37.470 So that's the only purpose for moving in yoga, 00:33:37.650 --> 00:33:40.450 essentially. So if you put a name to what you're 00:33:40.450 --> 00:33:42.289 feeling, you're in warrior two or you're in a 00:33:42.289 --> 00:33:43.609 balance that you're like, Oh my gosh, I cannot 00:33:43.609 --> 00:33:46.170 keep, you know, stable on my feet. You have to 00:33:46.170 --> 00:33:48.450 put a name to what that feels like. I'm feeling 00:33:48.450 --> 00:33:51.029 frustrated. And then frustration will leave your 00:33:51.029 --> 00:33:52.569 body because you've called it out. You've called 00:33:52.569 --> 00:33:55.869 it out. Yeah. So in any type of thing with your, 00:33:55.869 --> 00:33:59.710 with your kids and, and one of them. assuming 00:33:59.710 --> 00:34:02.089 everybody has multiple children, one of them 00:34:02.089 --> 00:34:05.490 is going through it, having a moment, temper 00:34:05.490 --> 00:34:09.389 tantrum, or upset about something, and they can't 00:34:09.389 --> 00:34:13.070 really express with words what they're feeling. 00:34:13.550 --> 00:34:16.530 What does that do to you? So frustrating. Or 00:34:16.530 --> 00:34:19.369 maybe you're angry. You have to say that to yourself. 00:34:19.690 --> 00:34:23.030 I'm angry, this will pass. I'm frustrated with 00:34:23.030 --> 00:34:26.449 them, this will pass. This too shall pass is 00:34:26.449 --> 00:34:27.789 a phrase for a reason. Not that you have to say 00:34:27.789 --> 00:34:30.750 that all the time, but like, if you put a name 00:34:30.750 --> 00:34:34.050 to what you're feeling, right? You had a conversation 00:34:34.050 --> 00:34:39.389 or any conversation recently or whatever that 00:34:39.389 --> 00:34:42.710 you think about all the time after. In that moment, 00:34:43.090 --> 00:34:46.110 which is really hard to do, maybe let's say reality, 00:34:46.289 --> 00:34:49.030 the conversation happened, you step away. This 00:34:49.030 --> 00:34:51.349 is when you would do this for yourself. You name 00:34:51.349 --> 00:34:55.400 that this is making me upset. What is upset feeling? 00:34:55.539 --> 00:34:59.980 I'm sad. I'm mad You have to break down the bracket 00:34:59.980 --> 00:35:03.300 of like all the feelings and then it goes away 00:35:03.300 --> 00:35:07.699 because it you've acknowledged it and It doesn't 00:35:07.699 --> 00:35:09.579 have to sit in there and wait for you to acknowledge 00:35:09.579 --> 00:35:12.280 it, right? You just got it. You freed up space 00:35:12.280 --> 00:35:16.360 in your brain by getting it out either, you know 00:35:16.360 --> 00:35:19.099 thinking about it or physically or verbally. 00:35:19.480 --> 00:35:21.139 That was hard for you to say physically. Her 00:35:21.139 --> 00:35:24.519 mouth made this like, you got stuck on the part. 00:35:24.960 --> 00:35:27.639 It was so brief, but it was so real. That was, 00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:29.219 I wish everybody could have experienced what 00:35:29.219 --> 00:35:32.000 that looked like. My last one. Hold on, hold 00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:33.739 on. But for real, that is something I say all 00:35:33.739 --> 00:35:36.880 the time. Intense, it lessens the intensity of 00:35:36.880 --> 00:35:41.199 what you're feeling. Start like body scans, mental 00:35:41.199 --> 00:35:44.400 scans and moments of like, what, what am I doing? 00:35:44.440 --> 00:35:45.800 Maybe in the morning. That's what you could do. 00:35:45.800 --> 00:35:48.440 Yeah. Victoria loves body scans. She does that 00:35:48.440 --> 00:35:50.900 in her yoga class. Body scans. Because then you 00:35:50.900 --> 00:35:53.320 think about it. Oh, I'm sore. Am I sore there? 00:35:53.619 --> 00:35:55.739 No, I'm not sore there. I'm sore here. Because 00:35:55.739 --> 00:35:58.940 then you start to connect to yourself. Because 00:35:58.940 --> 00:36:01.219 that is what we've all lost is connection to 00:36:01.219 --> 00:36:03.380 ourselves and to others, but most importantly, 00:36:03.480 --> 00:36:06.820 to yourself. So if you name it. Now, I didn't 00:36:06.820 --> 00:36:09.260 make that up. I was taught this when I was doing 00:36:09.260 --> 00:36:12.780 yoga. But if you name it, it won't be that serious. 00:36:13.099 --> 00:36:15.679 So it's the same thing and anxiety moments of 00:36:15.679 --> 00:36:20.239 like, you know, making this decision for the 00:36:20.239 --> 00:36:23.400 future. Right. Well, you have to name what you're 00:36:23.400 --> 00:36:26.719 feeling. Why is that decision so important? Besides 00:36:26.719 --> 00:36:28.679 the fact that maybe it's taxes. Like, yes, there 00:36:28.679 --> 00:36:30.159 are things that are important for reasons that 00:36:30.159 --> 00:36:32.340 are important. Right, but you have to break it 00:36:32.340 --> 00:36:34.119 down. But why is it that important to you? Why 00:36:34.119 --> 00:36:36.480 is it ruining your day? Why is it making you 00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:38.340 feel the way it's making you feel? And I just 00:36:38.340 --> 00:36:39.739 had this conversation with Victoria yesterday. 00:36:39.780 --> 00:36:42.539 I was like, you have to not let it bother you. 00:36:42.579 --> 00:36:45.840 And she's like, well. How about I say that to 00:36:45.840 --> 00:36:47.880 you when it bothers you? And I'm like, oh yeah, 00:36:48.039 --> 00:36:51.099 I forgot about that. You first. I learned it 00:36:51.099 --> 00:36:53.420 from watching you. Because it's so easy to say 00:36:53.420 --> 00:36:57.639 and not easy to do. But if you work it out, if 00:36:57.639 --> 00:37:00.460 you work it out in your mind and you practice 00:37:00.460 --> 00:37:03.480 every day, because this, I mean, just like you 00:37:03.480 --> 00:37:05.599 work out every day, if you mentally practice 00:37:05.599 --> 00:37:09.159 every day, your brain will get stronger to defend 00:37:09.159 --> 00:37:12.579 itself or... to just be resilient through these 00:37:12.579 --> 00:37:14.280 kinds of situations. You don't have to think 00:37:14.280 --> 00:37:16.300 so much because your brain already knows what 00:37:16.300 --> 00:37:18.800 to do. You've trained it already. And it's a 00:37:18.800 --> 00:37:24.019 separate entity from you. We have a body. We 00:37:24.019 --> 00:37:26.179 have a brain. We have a spirit. If you break 00:37:26.179 --> 00:37:30.380 it down like that, your brain tells stories and 00:37:30.380 --> 00:37:32.880 you listen. You listen to it. We had that written 00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:35.989 down. Right. It's that's when people are like 00:37:35.989 --> 00:37:37.650 change the narrative change the narrative of 00:37:37.650 --> 00:37:40.369 your brain Change the story because you're telling 00:37:40.369 --> 00:37:43.829 it in a way to yourself about yourself. That's 00:37:43.829 --> 00:37:45.989 really mean That's not true. It's not even a 00:37:45.989 --> 00:37:47.769 true story where people around you are like, 00:37:47.809 --> 00:37:50.550 but that's not But that's not how it happened. 00:37:50.829 --> 00:37:52.409 That's not what you said. That's not how you 00:37:52.409 --> 00:37:55.170 said it That's not what they meant because you're 00:37:55.170 --> 00:37:57.550 telling yourself a different story perception 00:37:57.550 --> 00:38:02.480 is Its own reality. We know this But we we fuel 00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:06.480 that perception with. Let's say it's about your 00:38:06.480 --> 00:38:08.840 body, because women, we talk about ourselves 00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:12.699 and our body worse than any anything you could 00:38:12.699 --> 00:38:14.719 say about somebody else. You're the meanest to 00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:19.679 yourself. It's a lie. It's a lie. Every story 00:38:19.679 --> 00:38:21.340 you're telling about yourself, what other people 00:38:21.340 --> 00:38:22.780 are thinking of you while you're wearing that 00:38:22.780 --> 00:38:26.059 dress, it's a lie. Nobody's nobody's even looking 00:38:26.059 --> 00:38:27.599 at you because they're doing it to themselves. 00:38:27.760 --> 00:38:29.659 Yeah. Not that this is how we want to live, but 00:38:29.659 --> 00:38:32.250 like We make that story up in our heads, and 00:38:32.250 --> 00:38:35.429 then we believe it. We say it's law. Well, write 00:38:35.429 --> 00:38:37.150 down a different law. Put it in your journal, 00:38:37.650 --> 00:38:39.750 the real thing that you're feeling and what you 00:38:39.750 --> 00:38:42.409 want to feel. And now you have a new law. Because 00:38:42.409 --> 00:38:44.710 what's up here is not written down. It's just 00:38:44.710 --> 00:38:46.250 up here floating. It's just up there. But we 00:38:46.250 --> 00:38:47.909 believe that more than anything else. It says, 00:38:48.250 --> 00:38:50.530 it believes what you repeat, not what's true. 00:38:51.429 --> 00:38:55.150 So if you repeat, oh my gosh, I'm up. I'm tired. 00:38:55.210 --> 00:38:57.190 I don't want to go to work. I don't want to do 00:38:57.190 --> 00:39:01.789 this. That's how it will be every day. Someone 00:39:01.789 --> 00:39:04.429 I saw, or I read, or I heard, I don't even know, 00:39:04.769 --> 00:39:08.670 where it said, if you talk to the universe, if 00:39:08.670 --> 00:39:10.550 you talk to God, if you talk to whoever you want 00:39:10.550 --> 00:39:12.469 to talk to believing somebody else is pulling 00:39:12.469 --> 00:39:16.329 the strings, or whatever it is, and you go, okay, 00:39:16.329 --> 00:39:17.789 show me what you got. It's gonna be a great day. 00:39:18.170 --> 00:39:21.670 Prove it. It's gonna be an amazing day, because 00:39:21.670 --> 00:39:23.190 you're gonna look for all the cool things that 00:39:23.190 --> 00:39:25.590 are happening, and you're gonna be like, oh wow, 00:39:25.769 --> 00:39:27.769 that was, oh wow, I got that parking spot. Oh 00:39:27.769 --> 00:39:30.710 my gosh. I don't have to wait in a long line. 00:39:30.909 --> 00:39:33.610 Oh, like the smallest things are gonna now make 00:39:33.610 --> 00:39:37.630 the day amazing because you're looking for those 00:39:37.630 --> 00:39:39.949 good things. You're not looking for the negative, 00:39:40.030 --> 00:39:43.909 you're looking for the positive. But you have 00:39:43.909 --> 00:39:46.570 to decide to do it and you have to train it. 00:39:46.929 --> 00:39:51.929 What do you have to train? It. What's it? You 00:39:51.929 --> 00:39:55.010 have to train your what? The universe. No. You 00:39:55.010 --> 00:39:58.909 have to train your brain to drink. Ask that question 00:39:58.909 --> 00:40:02.730 before you leave the house. Because once that 00:40:02.730 --> 00:40:06.530 question's asked, it's going to do without really 00:40:06.530 --> 00:40:08.289 trying. It's going to look for those things. 00:40:08.289 --> 00:40:10.489 Right. Because you said it out loud, or you said 00:40:10.489 --> 00:40:13.289 it at all. But that's the hard part of saying 00:40:13.289 --> 00:40:16.869 it, not the aftermath. We have a joke at Seafit 00:40:16.869 --> 00:40:20.480 that When people leave, they're like, oh, I'll 00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:22.840 see you tomorrow. I didn't sign up yet. But I'm 00:40:22.840 --> 00:40:25.400 like, you said it out loud. You said it out loud, 00:40:25.559 --> 00:40:27.860 so make it happen. Like you put it out there 00:40:27.860 --> 00:40:30.219 and it's like a joke, like, you know, whatever, 00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:32.059 but that's the truth. Because you're going to 00:40:32.059 --> 00:40:35.619 hunt them. Well, that's true, too. But yeah, 00:40:35.619 --> 00:40:37.320 that's where that anxiety and excitement get 00:40:37.320 --> 00:40:40.480 a little twisted. But but that's the truth. You 00:40:40.480 --> 00:40:42.519 put it out there in the universe to make it happen. 00:40:42.860 --> 00:40:45.380 Like, and even though you might think the universe 00:40:45.380 --> 00:40:47.559 is happening to you, you're you're making it 00:40:47.559 --> 00:40:51.260 happen. Yeah. So. Oh, wait. Oh, my God. This 00:40:51.260 --> 00:40:54.849 just came to hold on. I'll go back to. naming 00:40:54.849 --> 00:40:56.849 the fears or naming whatever you're feeling. 00:40:57.210 --> 00:41:00.250 I got Christmas decorations out to decorate, 00:41:00.789 --> 00:41:03.130 and I have to leave the house to do it. I have 00:41:03.130 --> 00:41:06.289 that cellar door, the basement, and I have to 00:41:06.289 --> 00:41:08.550 unlock it with the keypad and get downstairs. 00:41:09.130 --> 00:41:14.289 But you have to go into this empty, creepy, couple 00:41:14.289 --> 00:41:16.449 dead mice in there, cellar. Murder, dirt, or 00:41:16.449 --> 00:41:20.150 cellar. To turn the lights on. And I started 00:41:20.150 --> 00:41:24.309 doing all of this at like 530 in December. It's 00:41:24.309 --> 00:41:28.670 dark. Yes. And I am the first one to run away 00:41:28.670 --> 00:41:30.929 in the horror film. Like it's not happening to 00:41:30.929 --> 00:41:33.030 me. I'm not even testing the waters. But I was 00:41:33.030 --> 00:41:35.809 like, I have to do this. And I did that. And 00:41:35.809 --> 00:41:37.710 I totally forgot until I just sat here. I was 00:41:37.710 --> 00:41:41.190 like, I'm afraid because it's dark. And I'm fine. 00:41:41.530 --> 00:41:43.389 There's nothing down here. But I'm afraid because 00:41:43.389 --> 00:41:44.929 it's dark. And then I found the switch. Did you 00:41:44.929 --> 00:41:46.190 say it in your mind? No, I said it out loud. 00:41:46.230 --> 00:41:48.920 You did? Yeah. I was by myself, so I don't care. 00:41:49.079 --> 00:41:50.800 First of all, I talk to myself all the time out 00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:53.780 in public. If you see me, no one's in there. 00:41:53.820 --> 00:41:57.420 Cool, dude. It's just me. But I said that to 00:41:57.420 --> 00:42:01.059 get myself down the stairs and then have to walk 00:42:01.059 --> 00:42:03.699 a few steps to get to the light. But pitch black. 00:42:03.699 --> 00:42:07.239 Right. Just the noise of the hot water heaters 00:42:07.239 --> 00:42:11.380 going, yes, yes, which it's a stranger things 00:42:11.380 --> 00:42:14.579 moment in the basement. It's home alone. He thinks 00:42:14.579 --> 00:42:17.539 the hot water heater at home alone is like the 00:42:17.539 --> 00:42:19.320 scariest thing. He thinks it's a monster. Yeah 00:42:19.320 --> 00:42:21.300 Oh, you should hear sitting on the couch. It 00:42:21.300 --> 00:42:24.039 sounds like someone's dying down there But you 00:42:24.039 --> 00:42:27.900 said it out loud and you were fine Were you I 00:42:27.900 --> 00:42:29.739 just had to make it to the light switch. Yeah, 00:42:29.739 --> 00:42:32.800 it wasn't that many steps But every horror film 00:42:32.800 --> 00:42:35.099 you'll die doesn't matter how many steps it is. 00:42:35.119 --> 00:42:39.380 So I was like, oh my god But yeah couple steps 00:42:39.380 --> 00:42:41.900 in I said it because I just talked to myself 00:42:41.900 --> 00:42:44.550 that nothing's going to happen. I'm just scared 00:42:44.550 --> 00:42:48.610 because there are no lights on. And had I not 00:42:48.610 --> 00:42:49.949 done that, I would have been like, I'll do it 00:42:49.949 --> 00:42:52.150 tomorrow. You would have left. Yeah. I'm like, 00:42:52.150 --> 00:42:54.530 I'm not going to do this right now. I agree. 00:42:54.690 --> 00:42:56.210 I think we need to do that more because we tell 00:42:56.210 --> 00:42:59.030 kids to do that all the time, like acknowledge 00:42:59.030 --> 00:43:01.809 it, feel it. But like us as adults, we don't 00:43:01.809 --> 00:43:04.250 do that. What's the first thing you're taught 00:43:04.250 --> 00:43:09.590 by adults when you're a kid and you cannot get 00:43:09.590 --> 00:43:12.329 over something, or you are having a tantrum and 00:43:12.329 --> 00:43:13.670 you're crying really hard. What's the first thing 00:43:13.670 --> 00:43:17.010 they say? Is it bad or good? We say that it's 00:43:17.010 --> 00:43:18.409 bad? To help them. What's the first thing you 00:43:18.409 --> 00:43:22.909 say to help a child? What's the matter? That's 00:43:22.909 --> 00:43:26.269 going to help a child? Don't get upset. Don't 00:43:26.269 --> 00:43:30.610 cry. Breathe. Oh. OK. That's why your children 00:43:30.610 --> 00:43:34.730 need help. But yes. If they are crying and they 00:43:34.730 --> 00:43:36.409 can't control it, you go, just take a breath. 00:43:36.409 --> 00:43:39.530 Yes. Slow your breathing down. That is exactly 00:43:39.530 --> 00:43:41.829 what you should do for all of this, because then 00:43:41.829 --> 00:43:43.809 you'll write in the journal. But when you're 00:43:43.809 --> 00:43:45.789 frantic, you're not going to just go write in 00:43:45.789 --> 00:43:47.250 the journal. You have to take a second. You have 00:43:47.250 --> 00:43:49.610 to take an inhale. You have to take an exhale. 00:43:49.710 --> 00:43:51.630 That's the number one thing we learn as kids. 00:43:51.750 --> 00:43:53.829 And then we have to relearn it as adults, because 00:43:53.829 --> 00:43:56.150 you lose it. Or just learn it as adults, because 00:43:56.150 --> 00:43:57.889 your mom didn't teach you that as a kid. Sorry, 00:43:58.030 --> 00:44:03.110 kids. That's true. My last little tip. You've 00:44:03.110 --> 00:44:04.710 been saying that for the longest time. Because 00:44:04.710 --> 00:44:08.599 I have so many, but I am. dialing it down. But 00:44:08.599 --> 00:44:12.320 this one was really meant something to me because 00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:17.139 it is me. Your brain remembers the emotional 00:44:17.139 --> 00:44:20.679 tone of experiences way more than any details. 00:44:21.480 --> 00:44:26.320 So your mood shapes your memory. Yo, that is 00:44:26.320 --> 00:44:29.619 you. And that's me. Like I just posted on my 00:44:29.619 --> 00:44:32.480 Instagram like. If you're a millennial, you're 00:44:32.480 --> 00:44:34.400 sitting by your Christmas tree just staring at 00:44:34.400 --> 00:44:36.699 it in the dark because it makes you remember 00:44:36.699 --> 00:44:39.980 your childhood. I don't remember the details 00:44:39.980 --> 00:44:43.360 or what I got. I just remember the feeling of 00:44:43.360 --> 00:44:47.579 my childhood at Christmas, and that makes me 00:44:47.579 --> 00:44:51.360 happy. So your brain remembers the emotional 00:44:51.360 --> 00:44:55.480 tone, not the details. You don't remember any 00:44:55.480 --> 00:44:57.920 of the details. No. For anything. I remember 00:44:57.920 --> 00:45:00.400 how it made me feel and that's why I love it 00:45:00.400 --> 00:45:04.340 or that's why I don't like it. Instead of experiencing 00:45:04.340 --> 00:45:08.059 it again in the moment and being present to experience 00:45:08.059 --> 00:45:09.639 maybe something different or to be like, oh, 00:45:09.679 --> 00:45:11.500 yeah, that is what this feels like. Because you 00:45:11.500 --> 00:45:15.260 project history or you project what you want, 00:45:15.500 --> 00:45:18.500 not what is. Right. But you have to train your 00:45:18.500 --> 00:45:22.179 brain. I hope you are drunk right now because 00:45:22.179 --> 00:45:25.500 I've said it a lot. But I've been drinking. You 00:45:25.500 --> 00:45:29.019 really. as much energy and time and effort that 00:45:29.019 --> 00:45:33.039 you put in to train your body. I mean, I've always 00:45:33.039 --> 00:45:35.260 known this, but you have to take just as much 00:45:35.260 --> 00:45:39.739 time to do it to the big muscle in your old noggin. 00:45:40.840 --> 00:45:44.340 It's hard to say chicken or egg. I think it's 00:45:44.340 --> 00:45:49.000 the mind first, personally, but sometimes it 00:45:49.000 --> 00:45:49.980 happens. But Victoria is looking at me and she's 00:45:49.980 --> 00:45:52.199 going, no. Exactly. But that's what I was going 00:45:52.199 --> 00:45:54.099 to say. Sometimes it happens the other way. Like 00:45:54.099 --> 00:45:57.579 you figured out the body. For yourself. Yeah, 00:45:58.059 --> 00:46:00.739 but I did not figure out the mind, but I think 00:46:00.739 --> 00:46:05.460 once you start this practice once you Pick and 00:46:05.460 --> 00:46:07.320 choose things you can do because if you think 00:46:07.320 --> 00:46:09.579 you're gonna do all this I want to happen you 00:46:09.579 --> 00:46:11.679 can't you have to pick you're gonna see how much 00:46:11.679 --> 00:46:13.760 better you feel in your body because I actually 00:46:13.760 --> 00:46:15.800 don't think you feel a hundred percent even though 00:46:15.800 --> 00:46:17.739 to the outside world you look a hundred percent, 00:46:17.840 --> 00:46:20.739 but you don't know yeah Oh, I know I don't do 00:46:20.739 --> 00:46:25.099 any of this guys. No, we know listen All right, 00:46:25.260 --> 00:46:27.840 presence is power. Put your feet in the room, 00:46:28.320 --> 00:46:33.000 put your butt on the couch. It's whether or not 00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:36.199 you look good, you feel good, whatever, to the 00:46:36.199 --> 00:46:38.219 outside world, their perception of you is gonna 00:46:38.219 --> 00:46:41.199 be what it's gonna be. What we see is the most 00:46:41.199 --> 00:46:45.880 physically fit body. We don't know if you feel 00:46:45.880 --> 00:46:48.960 good or not. So then when you start this whole 00:46:48.960 --> 00:46:51.159 practice, I think you're going to realize how 00:46:51.159 --> 00:46:53.880 you don't actually feel good, but you're going 00:46:53.880 --> 00:46:56.500 to once you start it. Yeah, it's one of those 00:46:56.500 --> 00:47:02.420 like. When you started to lose weight, you're 00:47:02.420 --> 00:47:04.099 like, I don't ever want to wake up different. 00:47:04.159 --> 00:47:06.019 Like I don't feel bloated. I don't want to go 00:47:06.019 --> 00:47:08.480 back to feeling bloated when I wake up. I think 00:47:08.480 --> 00:47:11.199 that's what's going to happen for your mind. 00:47:11.380 --> 00:47:13.980 Well, I think like you said today, you flip the 00:47:13.980 --> 00:47:18.079 switch. I flip the switch in this, but there's 00:47:18.079 --> 00:47:20.239 two switches. there's a switch for the body and 00:47:20.239 --> 00:47:21.739 there's a switch for the mind. And I flip the 00:47:21.739 --> 00:47:24.500 switch for the body, but it's not connected. 00:47:25.139 --> 00:47:28.059 Like I need to flip a different switch for this 00:47:28.059 --> 00:47:30.760 so that it can connect. Do you know what I mean? 00:47:30.960 --> 00:47:33.260 Like I've got this muscle and I'm pointing to 00:47:33.260 --> 00:47:35.480 my head and I've got the body muscle and they're 00:47:35.480 --> 00:47:38.199 not connected. Because I have problems with the 00:47:38.199 --> 00:47:40.679 body muscle because I'm not right in my head 00:47:40.679 --> 00:47:44.659 muscle. And I am fully aware of that. I think 00:47:44.659 --> 00:47:47.039 they cross all the time because I have problems 00:47:47.039 --> 00:47:51.920 with both. this was like, researching this was 00:47:51.920 --> 00:47:54.760 like a switch for me, to be like, oh my God, 00:47:54.760 --> 00:48:01.400 I am so unhealthy. And yes. What, so you agree 00:48:01.400 --> 00:48:04.539 I'm unhealthy? Yeah, for sure. I'm super unhealthy 00:48:04.539 --> 00:48:06.300 right now. What's that line? What, so you think 00:48:06.300 --> 00:48:11.539 you're pretty? I'm better than you. I have to 00:48:11.539 --> 00:48:14.639 say, I do re -listen to this podcast. I spit 00:48:14.639 --> 00:48:19.480 out my coffee when she said that. Because it's 00:48:19.480 --> 00:48:23.940 true. It's not true. Think of your kids. I know. 00:48:24.159 --> 00:48:26.579 Like we say all the things of, I didn't mean 00:48:26.579 --> 00:48:31.179 to cut you off, but we say the... Okay. Okay. 00:48:32.519 --> 00:48:34.679 I'll die for my kids. I will die for this person. 00:48:34.739 --> 00:48:37.619 I would step in front for this person. But how 00:48:37.619 --> 00:48:40.280 come you're not working on yourself in that way? 00:48:40.840 --> 00:48:42.539 Because that's what's going to save your kids. 00:48:42.579 --> 00:48:44.199 Because you're going to wake them up differently 00:48:44.199 --> 00:48:46.699 now. Oh my God. And that's going to save them 00:48:46.699 --> 00:48:50.789 from doing this. at 40 when they're 40 of like, 00:48:50.849 --> 00:48:52.909 how come I'm always in a rush? How come I'm always 00:48:52.909 --> 00:48:56.050 hustling? Why am I so tired? If you can avoid 00:48:56.050 --> 00:48:59.230 them going through this particular process and 00:48:59.230 --> 00:49:03.630 teaching them how to breathe and slow down, then 00:49:03.630 --> 00:49:05.650 everything else for them is going to work out. 00:49:06.889 --> 00:49:08.949 That's the one that really flipped it for me 00:49:08.949 --> 00:49:12.530 when I was like, oh my god. And in my mind, because 00:49:12.530 --> 00:49:15.269 I train my mind, I said mind, not brain, can't 00:49:15.269 --> 00:49:18.869 drink. I'm saying I'm letting my kids sleep 15 00:49:18.869 --> 00:49:23.210 extra minutes. I'm giving them extra sleep, but 00:49:23.210 --> 00:49:25.449 then I rush them when they get up. So I think 00:49:25.449 --> 00:49:28.090 I'm helping, but I'm hurting when they should 00:49:28.090 --> 00:49:31.550 just go to bed earlier. It is literally a hamster 00:49:31.550 --> 00:49:33.989 wheel that you have to figure out how to be on. 00:49:34.570 --> 00:49:37.510 Yeah. But once you figure each little section 00:49:37.510 --> 00:49:41.550 out and piece the puzzle together, where it all 00:49:41.550 --> 00:49:45.269 starts to feel really good, then the hard part's 00:49:45.269 --> 00:49:48.909 over. And it's all about small steps, big wins. 00:49:49.230 --> 00:49:51.429 Write down the small stuff, because there are 00:49:51.429 --> 00:49:54.250 so many small wins that if you don't acknowledge 00:49:54.250 --> 00:49:57.469 them, you will not see the big picture. And I 00:49:57.469 --> 00:50:00.989 never write down the small wins. Start with the 00:50:00.989 --> 00:50:03.690 like, today's going to be an amazing day. Prove 00:50:03.690 --> 00:50:06.170 it. Let's prove it. What do you got? Can I say 00:50:06.170 --> 00:50:08.389 that to you? Start noticing. I'm going to do 00:50:08.389 --> 00:50:11.530 shit for you. Start noticing all the good things 00:50:11.530 --> 00:50:16.300 that happened in the day. All right, we have 00:50:16.300 --> 00:50:17.800 a we have a really quick game because we've been 00:50:17.800 --> 00:50:21.679 here and I have to go back to work But this has 00:50:21.679 --> 00:50:25.119 been things to do to this has been so many things 00:50:25.119 --> 00:50:29.019 trending And it just makes me laugh so much. 00:50:29.179 --> 00:50:32.559 So oh god She's usually not in charge of games. 00:50:33.300 --> 00:50:36.119 It's a it's a quick game Because you can only 00:50:36.119 --> 00:50:38.460 do it. Maybe once maybe twice. I can only do 00:50:38.460 --> 00:50:41.480 it. Maybe once for your choice It's the I will 00:50:41.480 --> 00:50:46.119 always love you Whitney Houston drum So, it's 00:50:46.119 --> 00:50:49.340 the part, we all know what this is. I think we 00:50:49.340 --> 00:50:53.920 should do it with a clap, maybe? No, can we do 00:50:53.920 --> 00:50:59.860 it with a, can we just say boom? Yeah. Right? 00:50:59.900 --> 00:51:03.280 Because people that are watching can't, or people 00:51:03.280 --> 00:51:06.039 that are listening can't. Yeah, you can't see, 00:51:06.099 --> 00:51:08.500 you can't hear a clap. You are correct. Okay, 00:51:08.519 --> 00:51:10.699 ready? I'll clap. No, no, no. Don't clap. Say 00:51:10.699 --> 00:51:13.449 boom. That's fine. Boom's fine. I have it lined 00:51:13.449 --> 00:51:15.530 up, or I think it's the end of the previous phrase 00:51:15.530 --> 00:51:18.010 right before it's silence, and then you have 00:51:18.010 --> 00:51:30.909 to say boom. Okay, ready? I'm so nervous. Boom! 00:51:33.789 --> 00:51:37.489 That was actually that bad. That was not that 00:51:37.489 --> 00:51:39.650 bad. You go. You go. All right. I have to line 00:51:39.650 --> 00:51:41.909 it up. Two, three minutes on the dot. I have 00:51:41.909 --> 00:51:43.969 to try that again, though. Wait, did you see 00:51:43.969 --> 00:51:45.889 the post of the little boy doing it in front 00:51:45.889 --> 00:51:47.889 of his whole school? No. Have you seen that recently? 00:51:48.090 --> 00:51:50.630 No. You got to watch it. Go look it up on Instagram. 00:51:50.769 --> 00:51:53.889 There's a little, like, 10 -year -old special 00:51:53.889 --> 00:51:57.230 needs boy, and he got it on his first try, and 00:51:57.230 --> 00:52:00.170 the entire school, like, runs and changes. Oh, 00:52:00.170 --> 00:52:01.489 you got to send it to me. I will post it. I'll 00:52:01.489 --> 00:52:05.099 post it. All right. Ready? Here we go. I need 00:52:05.099 --> 00:52:21.239 your microphone, say boom. Okay. Boom. Did you 00:52:21.239 --> 00:52:26.159 get it? Did I get it? I think you got it. I think 00:52:26.159 --> 00:52:29.219 you got it. We have to play that back. But we 00:52:29.219 --> 00:52:31.880 can't right now. No, I'm gonna do it. Oh my gosh. 00:52:32.360 --> 00:52:35.849 I think you got it. Oh my gosh. I think I count 00:52:35.849 --> 00:52:39.070 to four. Okay. Ready? Ready? Slow count? Fast 00:52:39.070 --> 00:52:41.989 count? I don't know. I don't know. I just counted 00:52:41.989 --> 00:52:50.750 to four. All right. I don't remember. Go. One, 00:52:50.789 --> 00:52:56.489 two, three, four. Boom! One, two, three, four! 00:52:57.659 --> 00:52:59.639 I didn't know if it was a slow or fast count. 00:52:59.920 --> 00:53:01.820 I did middle of the road count. Hold on. All 00:53:01.820 --> 00:53:03.239 right, just to see if it's true. I'm gonna try 00:53:03.239 --> 00:53:06.000 it one more time. I feel like yours is a fluke. 00:53:06.960 --> 00:53:09.079 Producers texting me, what do you know? Okay, 00:53:09.079 --> 00:53:22.380 ready? Let's try it. One, two, three, four. It 00:53:22.380 --> 00:53:24.519 was a fluke. It was on the floor. It was on the 00:53:24.519 --> 00:53:27.900 floor. It's the boom on the floor. Oh, that is 00:53:27.900 --> 00:53:30.519 a fun game. I could do that all night long because 00:53:30.519 --> 00:53:35.000 I'll never get it. What did he say? Close, but 00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:38.300 no cigar. Oh, yeah. Oh, you didn't get it. Oh, 00:53:38.360 --> 00:53:42.599 I didn't get it. Oh, I think she got the M like 00:53:42.599 --> 00:53:46.159 a boom on the drum. But that's just my brain. 00:53:46.179 --> 00:53:48.239 I'm going to do this all day. That's my I'm going 00:53:48.239 --> 00:53:51.639 to do this all day long. It's so hard. Why is 00:53:51.639 --> 00:53:54.019 that so hard? It's so hard. I've seen a video 00:53:54.019 --> 00:53:57.269 where they're like the POV, the point of view 00:53:57.269 --> 00:53:59.530 of the drummer, and he's like eating a sandwich. 00:53:59.630 --> 00:54:01.889 And he just like forgets. And they're like snapping 00:54:01.889 --> 00:54:04.250 at me. He's like, oh, because there's no, like, 00:54:04.469 --> 00:54:08.030 rhyme or reason. Yeah. So that is good. We hope 00:54:08.030 --> 00:54:11.849 that you are drunk at this point on water, on 00:54:11.849 --> 00:54:15.090 coffee, or alcohol. And we hope you do train 00:54:15.090 --> 00:54:17.309 your brain. Carly's flipped the switch. So are 00:54:17.309 --> 00:54:18.550 we going to check in? Are we going to make sure 00:54:18.550 --> 00:54:20.730 we're doing it? Give me a couple of weeks, but 00:54:20.730 --> 00:54:23.150 check in because you know nothing. Room wasn't 00:54:23.150 --> 00:54:27.059 built in a day, people. That's another old adage. 00:54:27.199 --> 00:54:28.800 How many days was the room built? The room was 00:54:28.800 --> 00:54:32.659 built so long, so give me a long time. I will 00:54:32.659 --> 00:54:36.659 let you all in on my switch flip. So we have 00:54:36.659 --> 00:54:41.960 lots of things to rely back to. Yeah. We hope 00:54:41.960 --> 00:54:44.820 you do, too. And we hope you always remember 00:54:44.820 --> 00:54:49.719 that you were fit to be real. And always allowed 00:54:49.719 --> 00:54:54.039 to be a little extra. I messed up the enter. 00:54:54.119 --> 00:55:02.000 OK, bye. For legal reasons, we have to tell you 00:55:02.000 --> 00:55:03.659 that this podcast is meant for entertainment 00:55:03.659 --> 00:55:06.679 and educational purposes only. We are not healthcare 00:55:06.679 --> 00:55:09.079 professionals. For all of your health, wellness, 00:55:09.320 --> 00:55:11.500 fitness, and self -care needs, please refer to 00:55:11.500 --> 00:55:14.019 the medical professional in your life, your primary 00:55:14.019 --> 00:55:16.699 care physician, your therapist, a certified coach, 00:55:17.000 --> 00:55:19.380 whoever it may be. And then let us know what 00:55:19.380 --> 00:55:21.679 they say because I guarantee we need to know 00:55:21.679 --> 00:55:24.800 it too. Okay? Okay, bye.