WEBVTT

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Welcome to Fit to Be Real. And a little extra.

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We have a very special guest today and her name

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is Claire. Hi. Do your best. Hey, guys. It's.

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Hey, guys. Is it? Yeah, that's it. You have to

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say your name afterwards. Hey, guys. Claire Baker.

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Yes. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. I've

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been practicing. I say my name a lot in my life.

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And I'm Victoria. Hey, guys. I'm Carly. And we

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know Claire from, well, we know Claire from Seafit.

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Yes. But we also know Claire from the dance studio.

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Right. Claire's son used to take dance at our

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mom's dance studio. But actually, it wasn't until

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you came to Seafit that you said, Hey, we have

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another connection. Yeah, we have a connection.

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My son used to dance there, and now he's in school.

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He graduated high school. But I was like, oh

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my gosh, that's so crazy. We love your son. And

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you had been there for a little bit before we

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put that connection together. Or did you already

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know? I already knew. You already knew. I knew

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about Carmela. I didn't realize how much her

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mom was involved in C -Fit until I saw her in

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class. Well, define involved. She's the entertainment.

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She's there a lot. So, and I think, well, CFIT,

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what does that C mean? Is that, you know, I don't

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know. I don't know what role your mom actually

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has in CFIT other than being there a lot. It's

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Carly Fit. It is not Carly Fit. God darn it.

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It is not. It's community. It's cardio. We're

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not going through this again. It's Claire. It's

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Claire. It's about me. It's all about me. It's

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Claire Fit. I think I met my match. I think I

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met my match at Claire. I'm speechless. I'm speechless.

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You can just push Pepper down. Pepper is super

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friendly. So we wanted you to talk for a reason,

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right? So Claire, besides the fact that we love

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you, Claire is, before we get into all of her

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hats that she wears, she's like the smile in

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the back of the room. And no matter what, she

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laughs at Carly. It's really annoying. No, no,

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no, no. She's my only fan. Not only fans, she's

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my only fan. Very different. If Carly makes a

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joke, I feel like I can now feel you look back

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and be like, Claire, help me. Tell everyone it's

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OK to laugh, Claire. She's got the best energy,

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and she will clap for everything. And you just

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know that if Claire is in class, you're like,

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OK, I got one that's going to bring in the energy

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and going to make everybody else feel good. No

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pressure. No pressure, though. That's the challenge

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with the classes that require us to hold weights

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in our hands, because we can clank them together

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or something. I guess we could stomp our feet

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or something. But it's really hard to demonstrate

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appreciation without throwing your weights down

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and then clapping. Don't appreciate her. So I'm

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not going to do that. But I laugh at your jokes,

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too, Victoria. We like those. They're not as

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funny. But when it's funny, I laugh. I'm an equal

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opportunity joke appreciator. The reason I bring

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that up about your fantastic energy is because

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when the very few times you've ever not been

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as energetic as you are, we're like, oh my God,

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what's the matter, Claire? And it's very, very

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rare, but on the certain couple days, your energy

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is so amazing that when it's not there, we're

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like, something's wrong with Claire. Let's go

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see what's wrong with you. And that's when I

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learned Because after saying one time, like,

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are you OK? That, you know, I learned about she's

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a life coach. She just didn't like your jokes.

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No, it was, I had a migraine that day. No, you

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did have a migraine that day. But in talking

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about that, I learned you were a life coach,

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like all of the different things that you did.

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I had no idea. Well, we knew about the Weight

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Watchers coach. Right, because it's right across

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the hall. So we'd run into each other. I referred

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to myself as the mayor of Stony Brook Plaza,

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because I'm like, here I am. I got keys. I can

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help. You're locked out of the elevator. I know

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the code. This is so good to remember that Claire

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has keys to the building. It's true. I totally

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forgot about that. Like that one time when you

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got locked in the stairwell. I could have helped

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you. Oh my gosh. Claire. Claire, savior, savior

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of the day. So yeah, Seafit is across the hall

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from Weight Watchers. So you knew like Seafit

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before Seafit was a thing because you've been

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there for how long. And there are people who

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go to Weight Watchers who are very familiar with

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Seafit. So I was Seafit. aware, she fit curious

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since well before the pandemic. Oh my god, I

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love this. And I thought, oh, I could never do

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that. I was like, I'm kind of in the bunch of

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people who like, oh, I don't dance. I don't know.

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I'm not any good at that. I'll look stupid. I'll

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look. And I had to do a lot of like, you know,

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I do a lot of self coaching as well as coaching

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others to get to a place where. I could just

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show up and nobody cares what I'm wearing and

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I'll catch on and nobody, you know, I spend,

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I joke, it's not even a joke. I spend a lot of

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time counting to four in that class. I don't

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know if you see my lips move, counting to four

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and eight so I can try to stay on the beat and

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get the moves right. And you know, now that I've

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been doing it for more than a year, I am much

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better at anticipating what's coming next. There's

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still some. some moves I just can't do very well.

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So I have my fallback, I came up early with my

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fallback of if it's, you know, I might break

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into jumping jacks if I can't quite get it or

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I'll run in place or something or I'll just,

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sometimes you'll say, oh, I'll just turn it,

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I can't believe I missed that again. But do you

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see now when we say it's the same moves but sometimes

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just in different orders or in like a different,

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a little bit of a different style but we, Genuinely

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do, not genuinely, we... Generally? Generally.

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God, thank God she's here. I do see it and like,

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okay, I'm doing this with my legs this time,

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but my arms are doing something different than

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like, sometimes it's a step here, throw in the

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air and sometimes it's a step here, punch in

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the air. Yeah, that's exactly right. And it's

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a throw a dice. And so, you know, you've got,

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you know, roll the dice. That's right, Claire.

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I love a throw a dice. And the step behinds and

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that's an optional. Sometimes those step in front,

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step behind. Yeah, that's optional. I'm just

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going to like not trip myself. Oh my God. You're

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the best. Things that require me to twist a lot.

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I'm like, okay, balance. stay upright. But that's

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a really good point though. That you were a little

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nervous to come in and say, I don't dance. I'm

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not doing this. And one, you realize it's more

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than just dance that we do. We do do some weights.

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But also that you don't have to be a dancer.

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Well, like what you just said. You just said

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edit. I make some edits. I don't modify. I make

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edits. That's a great way to do it. You have

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not fired me yet. You have not thrown me out

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of class. I'm sorry. Never. You suck, get out.

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Nobody has ever said that to me. And I've learned

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that in a lot of different ways in my life. Like

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I started, I joined a lesbian running club not,

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oh, you know, two years ago. Cause I'm continually

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trying to challenge myself to find community

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and find ways to exercise in community. Cause

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it's really good for my mental health. So I found

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Les Run and I'm the old, one of the oldest. And

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I was like, Oh, I'm going to look. I'm going

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to dress wrong and I'm going to be slow. And

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I got there and they don't care. They really

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don't care. And I can be slow and they still

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let me drink coffee with them afterward and chat.

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And so we have this running component and then

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this social component. Yeah. That's awesome.

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See, Fit is pretty similar. It's like going to

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Cheers. Hey, Claire. It's like norm. You walk

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in and people greet you warmly, YouTube, but

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also the other people in the class, the other

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regulars. and you know it just feels very comfortable

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and you guys create a very comfortable place

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you know what you know uh what is a fit for everybody

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or something like that so and you know walking

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in as a 60 plus lesbian who presents that way

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i got short hair i look you know i'm kind of

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stereotypical in my in my appearance and sometimes

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that can be intimidating going out in the world

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in a world where I don't see myself in Springfield,

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PA or in this area a whole lot. And I just have

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to trust that people are fine. And when businesses

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like yours and people like you make it very welcoming

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and very explicitly welcoming, it makes us...

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Makes people in my community want to keep coming

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back and support you that's also just makes it

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a lot more comfortable So what tipped it off

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my rainbow flag bra that I wore that I wore Was

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that a clue? I think I tried to see fit so I

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was between Job jobs, so I'm I remember that

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I'm a career nonprofit person and I had Quit

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one job, and I was attempting to freelance, and

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then I discovered how incredibly expensive health

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insurance is for four. Oh my god. Claire. What

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do you mean health insurance? I knew it. But

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then I was like, oh, this is 100 % on me. I think

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I should find a job that has health insurance.

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But between the time I... I got a job but I didn't

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have to start for another month. I'm going to

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go all in on CFIT. I remember that. Unlimited.

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Unlimited ride, all the rides passed and came

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to a million classes for CFIT last March. I can't

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remember specifically what it was but there was

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some... explicit, we like the gays here. I mean,

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that's the sign. We like the gays here. I think

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the song was, we like the gays, yeah. You might

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have, that was in March, right? Yeah. We might

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have done, yeah. We do it all the time. And then

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Pride came up. Yeah, we did a Pride month. We

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did all rainbows all the time on Pride, and I

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was like, this is awesome, I like this, I can

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wear my gay things here, so. Yeah. And then I

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started my new job, but it's got enough flexibility.

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Enough evening meetings and that sort of thing

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that I can still keep coming to see fit two or

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three times a week So I know we love and I'm

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telling you when we see your name on the list.

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We're like, okay Somebody's gonna be there that

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has a really good energy that's gonna make us

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lift our energy if it's not if it's not totally

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there But I usually don't sign up until about

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the night before because I don't know what my

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work schedule is going to be. So, surprise, I'm

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here. Or I'm not. There's once no day I'm like,

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yeah, I think I can make it. You're like, no,

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we had to close. You're the only one. I'm like,

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OK. I've done that before. I've done that before

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to Claire. Claire, you are the only one signed

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in today. She does ride her bike almost every

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class. So if you don't know who Claire is, but

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you've seen. her come in carrying her bike up

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three flights of steps with her helmet on, that's

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Claire. Yeah, if I took my helmet off before,

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that would be, I gotta keep it on. You do, I

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know. It's too much in your hands. It's too much

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going on. How long, all right, we're moving back

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here. All right. So you work for a nonprofit.

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Yes. How long have you been a Weight Watchers

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coach? Since 2018. Since 2018. You're a life

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coach. Yes. What is a life coach? So my version

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of life coach is really working with people to

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get out of their own way, to identify what it

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is that they want to achieve, why they haven't

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gotten there yet. Oh my god, help her. Help her

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right now. Help her right now. And to, you know,

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come up with a plan to, you know, unpack all

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of that and get moving forward toward what you

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want. Or to figure out, you know, are you not

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there because that's not really what you want

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you just think that's what you want you know

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there's a lot of you know um our brains are full

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of thoughts all of the time frequently they are

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not helpful or kind and so trying to sort out

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and and i i say this to my uh weight watcher

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people who uh that i coach but also my life coach

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people that you know our our hearts beat blood

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and our lungs breathe and our brains think thoughts,

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but they're not always true or helpful or designed

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to make us happy or healthy or anything like

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that. So how do we get out of, how do we identify

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those thoughts that are kind of in our own way?

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Don't beat ourselves up for them because that's...

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You know, I'm very evidence -based. If something

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doesn't work, don't do that. And beating yourself

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up doesn't work. It doesn't work in weight loss,

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and it doesn't work in getting your goals. We

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think that if we're really mean to ourselves,

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or really hard on ourselves, that'll be a motivator.

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In general, that is absolutely not true. Where

00:12:45.710 --> 00:12:48.370
being mean to ourselves is like a big foot on

00:12:48.370 --> 00:12:51.210
the brakes. And you're like, OK, I am. I am.

00:12:51.250 --> 00:12:53.820
It just. Propels more of those negative thoughts

00:12:53.820 --> 00:12:56.320
which don't get you going. So, you know helping

00:12:56.320 --> 00:12:59.840
people come up with strategies to identify what

00:12:59.840 --> 00:13:05.700
they're thinking which actually Doesn't it doesn't

00:13:05.700 --> 00:13:08.799
inform what we're feeling it it determines what

00:13:08.799 --> 00:13:12.799
we're feeling or What we're thinking leads to

00:13:12.799 --> 00:13:14.740
what we feel what we feel is directly related

00:13:14.740 --> 00:13:16.840
to what we thought about whatever a situation

00:13:16.840 --> 00:13:21.120
is and we Take action from our feelings. So if

00:13:21.120 --> 00:13:24.399
we're feeling Awful about ourselves. Our actions

00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:26.899
are to do things that aren't necessarily, you

00:13:26.899 --> 00:13:29.360
know, moving us toward our goals. I feel like

00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:30.759
you're looking at me when you say that, Claire.

00:13:31.080 --> 00:13:33.559
You should. I think it's just the way we're oriented.

00:13:34.139 --> 00:13:38.419
But Clara. But that's so true, because I saw

00:13:38.419 --> 00:13:41.840
something. I just saw this online, I think yesterday,

00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:44.340
and I don't know where this man was in the world,

00:13:44.480 --> 00:13:48.379
but it looked like he was in like. beautiful

00:13:48.379 --> 00:13:50.220
mountain right like the Himalayas like somewhere

00:13:50.220 --> 00:13:52.480
where they're just a little more connected to

00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:54.820
the present moment and he was talking about how

00:13:54.820 --> 00:13:56.639
we think too much like the world just thinks

00:13:56.639 --> 00:13:59.480
too much there's too much thought where you don't

00:13:59.480 --> 00:14:01.519
have to think about what the weather you walk

00:14:01.519 --> 00:14:03.440
outside and you think about the weather but don't

00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:06.080
just walk outside and be in the weather and it

00:14:06.080 --> 00:14:09.139
was this whole thing of why they're so much happier

00:14:09.139 --> 00:14:10.860
wasn't the word I think it was more just more

00:14:10.860 --> 00:14:12.950
peaceful and it's because they're more in the

00:14:12.950 --> 00:14:14.710
present moment and they're not trying to determine

00:14:14.710 --> 00:14:17.169
every thought that they're having because our

00:14:17.169 --> 00:14:19.090
mind is not who we are. Our mind is a separate

00:14:19.090 --> 00:14:22.809
thing and we listen to it too much. I think mindfulness

00:14:22.809 --> 00:14:26.649
is never a bad thing. I think some people confuse

00:14:26.649 --> 00:14:30.389
mindfulness and meditation with stopping the

00:14:30.389 --> 00:14:33.250
thought when really that's impossible. You can't

00:14:33.250 --> 00:14:35.070
stop your heart from beating blood or your lungs

00:14:35.070 --> 00:14:38.389
from breathing air but it's the there's a thought

00:14:38.389 --> 00:14:42.070
interesting. Let me go back to paying attention

00:14:42.070 --> 00:14:44.110
to something in my physical surroundings. How

00:14:44.110 --> 00:14:46.129
am I feeling? It's like mindfulness always has

00:14:46.129 --> 00:14:48.509
you, frequently has you focus on your breath

00:14:48.509 --> 00:14:52.490
or a sound in the room. I will get, when I work

00:14:52.490 --> 00:14:55.389
on my mindfulness, I'll get a hot cup of coffee

00:14:55.389 --> 00:14:58.649
or a hot beverage in a mug, a ceramic mug, and

00:14:58.649 --> 00:15:01.470
have that in my hands because I can feel that

00:15:01.470 --> 00:15:05.740
more easily than I can. feel air through my nostrils

00:15:05.740 --> 00:15:08.100
or you know some of that stuff is just so subtle

00:15:08.100 --> 00:15:10.279
and i'm like i need a little less subtle in my

00:15:10.279 --> 00:15:12.159
mindfulness something that's going to focus me

00:15:12.159 --> 00:15:14.879
and ground me in my hot coffee for 15 minutes

00:15:14.879 --> 00:15:17.080
by the time 15 minutes is up it's not that hot

00:15:17.080 --> 00:15:19.539
it's not in your brain do you do it i have to

00:15:19.539 --> 00:15:22.379
go to more hot coffee not every day i do i do

00:15:22.379 --> 00:15:26.480
journal every day you do i do and it's so you

00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:30.450
guys have on the on your chalkboard at see fit

00:15:30.450 --> 00:15:33.429
you know what's your goal goal for 2025 goal

00:15:33.429 --> 00:15:35.970
and I wrote remember to do what works then down

00:15:35.970 --> 00:15:38.409
the bottom right okay I see it I've read that

00:15:38.409 --> 00:15:41.889
and what works for me is journaling every day

00:15:41.889 --> 00:15:44.470
getting my you know like my mind is does all

00:15:44.470 --> 00:15:46.730
the crazy stuff that everybody's mind does I've

00:15:46.730 --> 00:15:50.169
got no I've got no magic bullet to get my mind

00:15:50.169 --> 00:15:54.110
not to feed me unpleasant thoughts yeah the time

00:15:54.110 --> 00:15:56.350
but one thing that helps is to write them all

00:15:56.350 --> 00:16:01.000
down and then catch myself in the middle of the

00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:03.899
lies that I tell myself about me. And so one

00:16:03.899 --> 00:16:06.259
thing that works, journal every day, journal

00:16:06.259 --> 00:16:08.980
every day, journal every day, get exercise, get

00:16:08.980 --> 00:16:12.279
outside, find, create in as much as I, oh, I

00:16:12.279 --> 00:16:15.940
plan and track my food, I plan and track my exercise,

00:16:16.279 --> 00:16:19.370
but I also... have an intention to do that for

00:16:19.370 --> 00:16:21.809
social interactions. I'm always much happier

00:16:21.809 --> 00:16:25.850
when I spend time with people. So as much as

00:16:25.850 --> 00:16:28.190
I like working from home, you know, several days

00:16:28.190 --> 00:16:31.090
a week, I generally am happier when I go to the

00:16:31.090 --> 00:16:32.850
office because I get the opportunity to hang

00:16:32.850 --> 00:16:34.809
out with my coworkers and visit and we have lunch

00:16:34.809 --> 00:16:36.889
together and that sort of thing. So giving myself

00:16:36.889 --> 00:16:40.590
what works, find those social interactions, find

00:16:40.590 --> 00:16:45.519
nature, find exercise. be mindful of the food

00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:48.940
that I'm eating because, you know, I have personal

00:16:48.940 --> 00:16:52.779
goals and I want to keep up with them. So that's

00:16:52.779 --> 00:16:54.960
the remember what works is part of that is journaling.

00:16:55.460 --> 00:16:58.799
And sometimes that, especially if I am just really

00:16:58.799 --> 00:17:01.580
not having a good day, I'll try some mindfulness

00:17:01.580 --> 00:17:04.339
or meditation. Let me just try to focus in. I'll

00:17:04.339 --> 00:17:06.980
do a guided thing. So if I'm not like, let me

00:17:06.980 --> 00:17:08.980
focus on somebody else telling me to breathe

00:17:08.980 --> 00:17:12.240
and picture. Right. mountainside or something.

00:17:12.599 --> 00:17:14.420
Usually I don't do the you know go to nature

00:17:14.420 --> 00:17:17.359
ones because then I can't pick. Picture a stream.

00:17:17.460 --> 00:17:20.319
I'm like, oh, picture water. I'm like, oh, do

00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:23.400
I want a pond? Do I want a lake? What about the

00:17:23.400 --> 00:17:25.680
ocean? Claire's very indecisive. I'm like, oh,

00:17:26.039 --> 00:17:29.240
crap. Now I'm behind. Shoot. Is it cold? Is it

00:17:29.240 --> 00:17:33.519
warm? I don't know. Like, crap. But that's such

00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:39.079
a good thing to say because even someone who

00:17:39.079 --> 00:17:42.369
has been coaching. for so long, you still go

00:17:42.369 --> 00:17:44.450
through it too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I

00:17:44.450 --> 00:17:47.650
think everybody in the helping profession should

00:17:47.650 --> 00:17:50.349
have their team. You guys are part of Team Claire,

00:17:50.490 --> 00:17:54.450
whether you knew it or not. I have a coach. I

00:17:54.450 --> 00:17:56.029
have, you know. Easiest team I've ever been on.

00:17:57.710 --> 00:18:01.410
Easiest. I hope I'm captain. Oh, trust me, you're

00:18:01.410 --> 00:18:05.529
captain. I'm cheerleader. But that's so true.

00:18:05.730 --> 00:18:08.509
Finding your team is a big part of, yes, becoming

00:18:08.509 --> 00:18:10.940
aware of the decisions that you actually want

00:18:10.940 --> 00:18:13.180
to make or the ones. We talk about it with our

00:18:13.180 --> 00:18:16.779
intention like New Year episodes of like make

00:18:16.779 --> 00:18:18.799
sure you actually want this goal. Don't just

00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:20.140
set it because it's something you think you need

00:18:20.140 --> 00:18:22.660
to be doing or should be doing because you haven't

00:18:22.660 --> 00:18:24.720
actually hit it yet and you just want to say

00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:27.200
it until you do it. Right. I don't think you

00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:29.039
really want to do it. Right. And you have to

00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:32.940
start with. What do you value? What do you want?

00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:35.160
And so I'm really clear. I want to have a great

00:18:35.160 --> 00:18:38.079
relationship with my wife and my kids. I want

00:18:38.079 --> 00:18:39.960
to do meaningful work for money in the world

00:18:39.960 --> 00:18:42.619
so my non -profit self is out there. I want to

00:18:42.619 --> 00:18:45.440
live a long time and I want to be well. I want

00:18:45.440 --> 00:18:48.799
a nice well span as well as life span. What do

00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:51.359
I got to do to keep my body and my mind healthy?

00:18:52.149 --> 00:18:54.470
I'm going to need enough money to be able to

00:18:54.470 --> 00:18:56.630
finance living a long time. So what do I have

00:18:56.630 --> 00:18:58.809
to do? I've got retirement savings, but also

00:18:58.809 --> 00:19:00.289
I'm going to have to work for a certain amount

00:19:00.289 --> 00:19:03.549
of time. And I like to work. But I only like

00:19:03.549 --> 00:19:05.289
to work doing things that I feel are meaningful.

00:19:05.630 --> 00:19:08.690
So anyway, getting really clear on what your

00:19:08.690 --> 00:19:13.529
values really are. And then backing up from there,

00:19:13.549 --> 00:19:16.309
this is my value. So that's kind of the result

00:19:16.309 --> 00:19:18.630
I want. What am I going to have to do to get

00:19:18.630 --> 00:19:20.390
there? And how am I going to have to feel? So

00:19:20.390 --> 00:19:23.089
it's kind of backing up the model that I use

00:19:23.089 --> 00:19:26.750
of your results come from your actions, and your

00:19:26.750 --> 00:19:29.230
actions are driven by how you feel. And how you

00:19:29.230 --> 00:19:32.509
feel is driven by how you think. So if you kind

00:19:32.509 --> 00:19:34.089
of go all the way back up, what am I going to

00:19:34.089 --> 00:19:38.210
have to think to get to that? And you can't just,

00:19:38.210 --> 00:19:44.490
you just can't. Affirmation your way to it. You

00:19:44.490 --> 00:19:46.230
can't just stick affirmation. Say that again,

00:19:46.250 --> 00:19:50.609
Claire. I mean, affirmations. Oh my God. Excuse

00:19:50.609 --> 00:19:54.650
you. You don't even do affirmations. But I've

00:19:54.650 --> 00:19:58.470
seen so many. Shut up. I've seen so many people

00:19:58.470 --> 00:20:02.490
just be like, I want to lose 20 pounds in six

00:20:02.490 --> 00:20:04.970
months or whatever. And they'll say things when

00:20:04.970 --> 00:20:06.690
they'll be like, how do I do that? Well, I read

00:20:06.690 --> 00:20:09.180
this thing that says makes me feel good every

00:20:09.180 --> 00:20:11.299
day, but that's not enough. You need action.

00:20:11.339 --> 00:20:14.339
You need action behind the affirmation. So say

00:20:14.339 --> 00:20:19.869
it again, Claire. Well, and you can't, so. I

00:20:19.869 --> 00:20:22.829
say it, and this comes up a lot in Weight Watchers.

00:20:22.990 --> 00:20:27.410
So first, I'm not stumping for Weight Watchers

00:20:27.410 --> 00:20:30.029
at all, but one thing I really love about Weight

00:20:30.029 --> 00:20:33.289
Watchers is that it's very evidence -based, and

00:20:33.289 --> 00:20:36.250
it focuses on food, which is 80 % of weight loss,

00:20:36.410 --> 00:20:40.109
and activity, sleep, which is one that they added

00:20:40.109 --> 00:20:43.170
not that long ago, and mindset. And mindset's...

00:20:42.829 --> 00:20:45.390
everything and so when I talk to the Weight Watcher

00:20:45.390 --> 00:20:49.250
people and I talk to my my coaching client it's

00:20:49.250 --> 00:20:51.890
not like oh I need to change my thoughts okay

00:20:51.890 --> 00:20:55.309
I'll go from I feel like crap to I feel awesome

00:20:55.309 --> 00:20:57.490
because your brain isn't gonna remember your

00:20:57.490 --> 00:21:00.250
brain isn't gonna believe you right you can't

00:21:00.250 --> 00:21:04.019
it's like pasting a happy face sticker over your

00:21:04.019 --> 00:21:07.680
empty gas gauge in the car, you know. Yeah. See,

00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:09.740
I'm happy. I've got that. And that's kind of

00:21:09.740 --> 00:21:11.700
what affirmations are. See, I'm happy. It's right

00:21:11.700 --> 00:21:12.859
there. It doesn't mean you're not going to run

00:21:12.859 --> 00:21:15.900
out of gas. Right. If you don't address the underlying

00:21:15.900 --> 00:21:20.240
things behind it. So if you can, if your thoughts

00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:23.839
are like, I'm feeling not in a way that's going

00:21:23.839 --> 00:21:26.910
to get me the result I want. Instead of going

00:21:26.910 --> 00:21:29.309
all the way to an opposite thought just find

00:21:29.309 --> 00:21:31.589
a little bit better feeling thought, you know,

00:21:31.769 --> 00:21:35.210
I like incremental change thoughts that your

00:21:35.210 --> 00:21:41.349
brain can can believe so if somebody is Say they

00:21:41.349 --> 00:21:44.609
have a weight loss goal and they come in and

00:21:44.609 --> 00:21:47.910
they're You know, they thought they would be

00:21:47.910 --> 00:21:50.049
down two pounds. This is not unusual. I thought

00:21:50.049 --> 00:21:52.789
I thought it'd be down two pounds and they're

00:21:52.789 --> 00:21:56.730
only down point eight and they I'm only down

00:21:56.730 --> 00:21:59.130
0 .8. And they meant this is a bad thing. They

00:21:59.130 --> 00:22:01.410
make it be bad. I'm like, no, no, no. Let us

00:22:01.410 --> 00:22:04.150
look at that. A, one, the scale only provides

00:22:04.150 --> 00:22:06.910
a measurement of gravity today. There are a lot

00:22:06.910 --> 00:22:09.170
of factors that go into it. And you can take

00:22:09.170 --> 00:22:12.829
that only down 8 .8 to, I had a loss this week.

00:22:12.930 --> 00:22:15.089
I had a weight loss this week. I mean, that's

00:22:15.089 --> 00:22:17.869
a circumstance. The scale is less this week than

00:22:17.869 --> 00:22:21.829
last. And from that, I can say, oh, I am to step

00:22:21.829 --> 00:22:24.119
on my journey. One thought is, it's a step on

00:22:24.119 --> 00:22:25.700
my journey. Another thought is, damn it, I thought

00:22:25.700 --> 00:22:29.420
I had a loss more. You can have both those thoughts

00:22:29.420 --> 00:22:35.039
and one just feels better. So when I journal,

00:22:35.319 --> 00:22:37.039
when I encourage people to journal, they write

00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:40.039
down those, damn, I thought I'd be down two pounds

00:22:40.039 --> 00:22:42.680
this week. Okay, let's look at that. That is

00:22:42.680 --> 00:22:45.339
just a thought. That's a thought. What's a better

00:22:45.339 --> 00:22:48.319
feeling thought? I did make progress toward my

00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:51.019
goal. That is also true. Your brain can believe

00:22:51.019 --> 00:22:53.759
that. And it feels better. It gives you some

00:22:53.759 --> 00:22:56.359
ease. And from that place of ease, you can make

00:22:56.359 --> 00:22:59.019
better choices. Your actions will flow better.

00:22:59.519 --> 00:23:02.720
So that's kind of self -coaching, but also the

00:23:02.720 --> 00:23:07.480
coaching model that helps people. We all did

00:23:07.480 --> 00:23:10.000
Weight Watchers. My mom, my aunt, Victoria and

00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:12.500
I. And the thing that helped me the most was

00:23:12.500 --> 00:23:15.099
going... to the meetings afterwards. When people

00:23:15.099 --> 00:23:18.880
would just go and weigh in and leave, that didn't

00:23:18.880 --> 00:23:21.680
work well enough for me. I had to stay for the

00:23:21.680 --> 00:23:24.420
meetings. That was something about the accountability

00:23:24.420 --> 00:23:27.660
part of somebody else weighing me, yes, but also

00:23:27.660 --> 00:23:31.339
staying for the extra hour. Even if it's something

00:23:31.339 --> 00:23:34.700
I thought I already knew about, I really didn't.

00:23:34.779 --> 00:23:37.299
I really didn't. Because if I did, I wouldn't

00:23:37.299 --> 00:23:41.359
need to be there, right? I remember also taking

00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:45.779
off every single bit of clothing, ring, sock,

00:23:46.839 --> 00:23:51.059
like fingernail clippers, clip your nails, nail

00:23:51.059 --> 00:23:54.440
polish remover, trim your split ends, anything.

00:23:54.440 --> 00:23:58.980
And I would go the same time every week. I was

00:23:58.980 --> 00:24:01.119
like, it's six o 'clock on a Monday, I was in

00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:04.160
New York when I did this, and it was same time

00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:07.019
every week, basically wear a bathing suit, stay

00:24:07.019 --> 00:24:09.670
for the meeting. Well, that's part of routine,

00:24:09.869 --> 00:24:12.329
but it also goes, it's also circling back to

00:24:12.329 --> 00:24:15.089
what you said in the beginning about having the

00:24:15.089 --> 00:24:18.470
community aspect of it. So even if the meeting

00:24:18.470 --> 00:24:19.990
is something that you think you already know

00:24:19.990 --> 00:24:22.430
about the fact that somebody else also feels

00:24:22.430 --> 00:24:25.490
the same way is such a big comforting thing to

00:24:25.490 --> 00:24:27.390
know that, like, I'm actually not alone in this

00:24:27.390 --> 00:24:29.150
because they haven't figured it out either, or

00:24:29.150 --> 00:24:31.789
they did figure it out. And that helps me, you

00:24:31.789 --> 00:24:33.450
know, like there's there's so much to the community

00:24:33.450 --> 00:24:36.829
part of it. And that is huge. And all of that

00:24:36.829 --> 00:24:39.910
plus Sometimes when you're in a position to help

00:24:39.910 --> 00:24:41.849
someone else, let me share, that helps someone

00:24:41.849 --> 00:24:44.609
else, it makes us feel good. Oh, yeah. And from

00:24:44.609 --> 00:24:46.789
that feeling good, we can like, oh, yeah, I can

00:24:46.789 --> 00:24:48.869
do better. I don't want to be that person in

00:24:48.869 --> 00:24:52.670
the meeting who dispenses advice or gives my

00:24:52.670 --> 00:24:54.589
great tips or shares my great recipe and then

00:24:54.589 --> 00:24:57.329
comes in and has a, you know, I want to stay

00:24:57.329 --> 00:25:00.029
more compliant on the plan because I know it

00:25:00.029 --> 00:25:03.750
works when I am. I think the biggest challenge

00:25:03.750 --> 00:25:11.210
that we all face is that it's without, and part

00:25:11.210 --> 00:25:13.470
of the secret sauce of Weight Watchers and coaching

00:25:13.470 --> 00:25:15.690
and all of that is planning and tracking. Just

00:25:15.690 --> 00:25:18.869
know this is where I'm gonna go, I have a plan,

00:25:19.130 --> 00:25:22.789
one thing that makes humans different than Pepper

00:25:22.789 --> 00:25:28.130
and the other, is that humans can imagine the

00:25:28.130 --> 00:25:32.559
future and make a plan. And if we plan, for how

00:25:32.559 --> 00:25:34.380
we're gonna do that and could be pre track your

00:25:34.380 --> 00:25:37.259
food or could be plan your workouts or whatever

00:25:37.259 --> 00:25:40.759
and then Have some accountability to yourself

00:25:40.759 --> 00:25:43.980
or to others through tracking you say did I follow

00:25:43.980 --> 00:25:47.039
my plan? Yes or no? Okay, and did I what results

00:25:47.039 --> 00:25:50.480
that I get good good neutral bad. Okay, let me

00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:53.259
adjust my plan, but if you're not planning and

00:25:53.259 --> 00:25:55.240
tracking, it's much harder to make the progress

00:25:55.240 --> 00:25:57.859
you want. It's harder to measure and then it's,

00:25:57.880 --> 00:26:00.420
you know, weeks, months can go by without noticeable

00:26:00.420 --> 00:26:02.480
change if you're not doing those things to plan

00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:06.160
and track. Or even change can happen, but you're

00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:08.900
not noticing the right parts of it, right? Just

00:26:08.900 --> 00:26:11.819
like what you said before of how you look at,

00:26:12.299 --> 00:26:14.880
it's kind of a glass full or glass empty thought

00:26:14.880 --> 00:26:17.920
process, right? I'm upset about two pounds. I'm

00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:19.480
not noticing them. Point eight is pretty darn

00:26:19.480 --> 00:26:24.420
good for one week. So it's just the, I like that,

00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:26.339
the good, the neutral, the bad, like deciding,

00:26:26.500 --> 00:26:29.880
becoming aware of the part of the process is

00:26:29.880 --> 00:26:33.819
a huge factor to move to the next step. But there

00:26:33.819 --> 00:26:36.819
is a piece of positivity or, what did you say?

00:26:37.059 --> 00:26:39.259
A better thought. A better feeling thought. A

00:26:39.259 --> 00:26:41.259
better feeling thought. I love that. Equally

00:26:41.259 --> 00:26:43.880
believable better feeling thought. I love that

00:26:43.880 --> 00:26:45.240
because then it doesn't, it's not like, well,

00:26:45.240 --> 00:26:49.039
I'm not being positive. Like there's so much...

00:26:50.539 --> 00:26:53.720
negativity with over positivity that we can do

00:26:53.720 --> 00:26:56.420
to ourselves. So you're way more science -based

00:26:56.420 --> 00:26:58.819
in the thought process of it all. Well, and that

00:26:58.819 --> 00:27:03.279
might, I tend to be rather cerebral, which could

00:27:03.279 --> 00:27:07.640
also be my, you know, my, I don't, this downfall

00:27:07.640 --> 00:27:09.559
is a little strong, but it could also be my biggest

00:27:09.559 --> 00:27:13.000
Achilles heel is because I intellectualize when

00:27:13.000 --> 00:27:14.880
really sometimes I just need to check in with

00:27:14.880 --> 00:27:18.519
my feelings and know how am I feeling? I don't

00:27:18.519 --> 00:27:20.700
feel great. Why don't I feel great? It was funny

00:27:20.700 --> 00:27:24.140
So the day when you noticed me not feeling well

00:27:24.140 --> 00:27:26.559
at CFIT when I had a migraine the day before

00:27:26.559 --> 00:27:30.740
I was I was super emotional and very sad not

00:27:30.740 --> 00:27:33.460
with any real reason some you know, I deal with

00:27:33.460 --> 00:27:36.759
persistent depressive disorder in general, so

00:27:36.759 --> 00:27:40.559
my My general is kind of neutral anyway, but

00:27:40.559 --> 00:27:43.039
I was feeling really bad the next day I had a

00:27:43.039 --> 00:27:44.759
migraine and then looking back There's a thing

00:27:44.759 --> 00:27:49.440
called a prodrome prodrome It's kind of a precursor

00:27:49.440 --> 00:27:51.680
to a migraine that includes a lot of moodiness

00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:54.519
and a lot of sadness. Why did I start telling

00:27:54.519 --> 00:28:01.019
you this story? That was great. Oh my God, Claire,

00:28:01.079 --> 00:28:05.480
that was me. She's just like us. So I try to

00:28:05.480 --> 00:28:07.299
intellectualize. I'm busy doing all my journal

00:28:07.299 --> 00:28:09.460
and all of my stuff. Why do I feel so sad? Blah,

00:28:09.559 --> 00:28:11.220
blah, blah. And it turned out I was just sad

00:28:11.220 --> 00:28:14.440
because it was just a physiological thing in

00:28:14.440 --> 00:28:16.559
that day. Nothing. I mean, it was a Monday and,

00:28:16.660 --> 00:28:18.579
you know, I had a meeting. I wasn't looking for

00:28:18.579 --> 00:28:20.160
it. You know, there's just, you know, Mondays

00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:23.440
can suck, but there wasn't anything especially

00:28:23.440 --> 00:28:25.700
wrong that day. I was just feeling sad, but I

00:28:25.700 --> 00:28:27.220
really wanted to find the reason why I was feeling

00:28:27.220 --> 00:28:31.059
sad. And there wasn't, in hindsight, I was just

00:28:31.059 --> 00:28:33.700
feeling sad. It's okay to say, okay, this is

00:28:33.700 --> 00:28:35.920
how I'm feeling right now and allow that. And

00:28:35.920 --> 00:28:38.039
then if you allow it, it can move through a lot

00:28:38.039 --> 00:28:42.279
faster. So I'm much more prone to wanting to

00:28:42.279 --> 00:28:44.519
think the shit out of something. Can I say shit?

00:28:44.640 --> 00:28:50.599
Yeah, you can. Explicit. Of course you can. Sensor

00:28:50.599 --> 00:28:57.049
alert. Yeah. You might want you might want your

00:28:57.049 --> 00:29:09.069
children to go to another room So anyway, that's

00:29:09.069 --> 00:29:10.730
uh, you know, it's all everything in balance

00:29:10.730 --> 00:29:14.309
and I'm much more likely to be Super intellectual

00:29:14.309 --> 00:29:18.230
about stuff and my work is to be more, you know

00:29:18.230 --> 00:29:20.829
tuned into how I'm feeling as well, you know

00:29:20.829 --> 00:29:23.220
both and Well, I would have to say, Clara, I'm

00:29:23.220 --> 00:29:27.500
the complete opposite of you. I am so not cerebral

00:29:27.500 --> 00:29:30.380
in thinking of how I feel it, and I don't think

00:29:30.380 --> 00:29:33.380
about where it came from, where it's going, what

00:29:33.380 --> 00:29:37.380
I need to do. I am, like, so emotional, even

00:29:37.380 --> 00:29:39.240
though we joke about me being non -emotional.

00:29:39.579 --> 00:29:41.839
It's because I'm so emotional that... You act

00:29:41.839 --> 00:29:45.119
off of emotion, not thought through process.

00:29:45.140 --> 00:29:48.319
I do the exact opposite of what you do. Like

00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:50.099
you think it through and you're like, maybe I

00:29:50.099 --> 00:29:52.599
shouldn't, this is what I'm getting that you,

00:29:52.700 --> 00:29:55.099
before you speak, you are going to think about

00:29:55.099 --> 00:29:58.200
it first. That is, I think I've cultivated that

00:29:58.200 --> 00:30:01.019
skill. Frankly, I think it helps me more to let

00:30:01.019 --> 00:30:03.339
me take a beat and think about this before I.

00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:06.000
Jump in with something that's gonna in the end

00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:08.980
not be helpful. You know, I think it's not like

00:30:08.980 --> 00:30:14.420
You know what like with my now adult kids, you

00:30:14.420 --> 00:30:16.740
know the relationship I wanted to have with them

00:30:16.740 --> 00:30:19.920
when they were you know, I'm an old mom I my

00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:22.880
older son was born when I was 38 So I started

00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:25.240
later than a lot of a lot of parenting if I had

00:30:25.240 --> 00:30:27.220
started younger I'm sure I've been a worse parent

00:30:27.220 --> 00:30:31.539
but even at in my 40s as a parent I would still

00:30:31.539 --> 00:30:35.839
be quick to react and and then I would see the

00:30:35.839 --> 00:30:37.880
result that that was having on my relationship

00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:41.880
with my sons and it wasn't awesome and then I

00:30:41.880 --> 00:30:43.519
got a little bit more evolved and went wait wait

00:30:43.519 --> 00:30:45.480
wait wait if the relationship I want to have

00:30:45.480 --> 00:30:47.920
with my kids is that they trust me and they come

00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:50.579
to me and they want to talk to me after they're

00:30:50.579 --> 00:30:53.299
grown up and all of that I need to create us

00:30:53.299 --> 00:30:56.579
an opportunity or a space for them to to feel

00:30:56.579 --> 00:30:58.559
like they can come to me even if it's not good

00:30:58.559 --> 00:31:01.380
news even if it's hard stuff so don't you know

00:31:01.380 --> 00:31:03.400
it's really hard not to get hooked by that but

00:31:03.400 --> 00:31:07.119
i think my kids excuse me i think my kids gave

00:31:07.119 --> 00:31:12.740
me um the skill set to try to figure out what

00:31:12.740 --> 00:31:15.359
was going on with them before i react to their

00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:18.599
behavior like why did they do that what like

00:31:18.599 --> 00:31:22.079
and it frankly it works with everybody so if

00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:26.039
i I know, I know. How about that? I'm like, oh,

00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:30.799
I'm getting this feedback at work from, you know,

00:31:30.839 --> 00:31:33.339
I've had many jobs, so I won't refer to any specific

00:31:33.339 --> 00:31:39.380
job. Let's say a supervisor has some concerns

00:31:39.380 --> 00:31:41.740
about my performance at work, for example, and

00:31:41.740 --> 00:31:43.440
I look at it and I think, I thought that... was

00:31:43.440 --> 00:31:45.599
actually, I did a pretty good job on that one.

00:31:45.980 --> 00:31:47.920
Look at what might be going on for them and I

00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:50.700
can go, oh, I see they're feeling anxious about

00:31:50.700 --> 00:31:52.579
this or they're feeling stressed out about money

00:31:52.579 --> 00:31:55.759
or, you know, because I report to the directors.

00:31:56.119 --> 00:31:58.180
I was a director of an organization once and

00:31:58.180 --> 00:32:00.160
it's not very fun. So I have a lot of empathy

00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:03.859
for being very happy. I don't have to raise all

00:32:03.859 --> 00:32:07.059
the money and have payroll depend on me. That's

00:32:07.059 --> 00:32:08.740
very stressful. I don't like that. But I have

00:32:08.740 --> 00:32:11.400
that empathy for them to go, OK, I can kind of

00:32:11.400 --> 00:32:14.769
see why they are Might be feeling the way they're

00:32:14.769 --> 00:32:16.789
feeling and it's coming out their feelings are

00:32:16.789 --> 00:32:19.670
driving their actions toward me Alright, so I

00:32:19.670 --> 00:32:21.289
don't really want to it's not gonna help me to

00:32:21.289 --> 00:32:24.750
argue in this situation so I can come up with

00:32:24.750 --> 00:32:27.650
a either a better response or give it some time

00:32:27.650 --> 00:32:30.329
or whatever and I and I have regret sometimes

00:32:30.329 --> 00:32:36.690
I like not not very long ago. I argued with Supervisor

00:32:36.690 --> 00:32:38.430
in a staff meeting and it wasn't I wasn't gonna

00:32:38.430 --> 00:32:40.880
win and I couldn't let it go and I like It might

00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:42.980
have been the same day. I think it was my migraine

00:32:42.980 --> 00:32:45.440
day. Poor Claire. She was having a day. It was

00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:46.920
a bad day. I went to work and I'm like, wait

00:32:46.920 --> 00:32:52.220
a minute. Stop, stop. Some part of my brain is

00:32:52.220 --> 00:32:53.960
saying, shut up, Claire. Well, you were already

00:32:53.960 --> 00:32:58.680
having a bad day. I was. So yeah, don't push

00:32:58.680 --> 00:33:03.259
me around. But that seems very hard to do. You

00:33:03.259 --> 00:33:06.500
have to be very self -aware to be like, somebody

00:33:06.500 --> 00:33:09.559
has concerns about me. What are they going through?

00:33:10.279 --> 00:33:12.960
How about that? I don't have that Claire. I'm

00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:15.220
gonna just tell you this right now. What a process

00:33:15.220 --> 00:33:18.839
It is a skill that could be developed. That's

00:33:18.839 --> 00:33:21.559
and I Not that you have to work on that Claire.

00:33:21.559 --> 00:33:25.640
She does stop it. How dare you? No, but it's

00:33:25.640 --> 00:33:28.720
true though. I mean, it's it's a practice really

00:33:28.720 --> 00:33:33.380
yeah, and that's really hard I Don't like how

00:33:33.380 --> 00:33:36.579
you're agreeing to understand Oh, I understand.

00:33:37.319 --> 00:33:39.839
And what we said that day, was that before your

00:33:39.839 --> 00:33:44.019
meeting? Yeah. Something that you said to me,

00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:46.839
you said, not everybody can be happy all the

00:33:46.839 --> 00:33:48.700
time. Because I was like, what's the matter?

00:33:48.880 --> 00:33:50.319
You don't seem like yourself. And she's like,

00:33:50.339 --> 00:33:52.400
I have a migraine, blah, blah, blah. And you

00:33:52.400 --> 00:33:54.980
said something like, not everybody can be happy

00:33:54.980 --> 00:33:56.980
all the time. It's impossible. And it's not normal.

00:33:57.440 --> 00:33:59.359
It's not normal. You're going to have those ups

00:33:59.359 --> 00:34:04.680
and downs. But you're down. was also not a normal

00:34:04.680 --> 00:34:07.519
down. It was just like, oh, something's off with

00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:09.300
Claire. That was like my good day. That was like

00:34:09.300 --> 00:34:11.159
our good day and Claire, we were like, what's

00:34:11.159 --> 00:34:13.820
wrong with Claire? Because you're always at such

00:34:13.820 --> 00:34:16.159
a good energy, but it is. It's impossible to

00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:19.599
be happy all the time, but you seem very aware

00:34:19.599 --> 00:34:23.170
of it and like. Just saying you need to move

00:34:23.170 --> 00:34:26.429
through it and let it happen. That's hard. So

00:34:26.429 --> 00:34:29.849
the migraines has been an interesting analogy

00:34:29.849 --> 00:34:32.210
for other, you know, like so I mentioned I have

00:34:32.210 --> 00:34:33.750
persistent depressive disorder and sometimes

00:34:33.750 --> 00:34:35.869
I get really annoyed that I should feel better.

00:34:35.909 --> 00:34:38.030
Everything is fine. There's nothing wrong. I've

00:34:38.030 --> 00:34:40.429
got a job. My family's fine. Nobody's sick. You

00:34:40.429 --> 00:34:42.590
know, I've got all of these reasons why I should

00:34:42.590 --> 00:34:47.230
be happy and I don't feel happy and I get mad

00:34:47.230 --> 00:34:51.829
about that. But then I realized I don't When

00:34:51.829 --> 00:34:54.570
I have a migraine, it is just a migraine. And

00:34:54.570 --> 00:34:56.610
I know what I need to do to try to treat it,

00:34:56.630 --> 00:34:58.489
and sometimes it's bad and I have to go to bed

00:34:58.489 --> 00:35:00.869
and turn out the lights and do all of that. I

00:35:00.869 --> 00:35:02.949
don't make it mean anything about me. Having

00:35:02.949 --> 00:35:04.849
a migraine, I don't make it mean anything about

00:35:04.849 --> 00:35:07.889
me other than sometimes I get migraines. So I

00:35:07.889 --> 00:35:12.699
can do the same when I'm... paying attention,

00:35:12.860 --> 00:35:14.699
I can do the same with persistent depressive

00:35:14.699 --> 00:35:17.519
disorder. It's just a thing. And do you guys

00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:18.260
know about persistent depressive disorder? No,

00:35:18.360 --> 00:35:20.300
tell me about it. It's also called dysthymia.

00:35:20.739 --> 00:35:25.119
It's two or more years of having kind of a non

00:35:25.119 --> 00:35:27.900
-enjoyment of life. Things you used to like,

00:35:27.960 --> 00:35:31.699
you don't like anymore. Hard to be excited or

00:35:31.699 --> 00:35:36.059
enthused. So this is, so my normal is kind of

00:35:36.059 --> 00:35:41.550
low. Really? Yeah. So Yeah, it is what it is.

00:35:41.590 --> 00:35:44.969
It's I wish I felt happier more of the time and

00:35:44.969 --> 00:35:48.710
This is maybe I will yeah. Yeah. Well, it's because

00:35:48.710 --> 00:35:51.030
when I go out in the role I don't try to be a

00:35:51.030 --> 00:35:54.070
sad sack. I mean some people kind of compared

00:35:54.070 --> 00:35:56.849
to Eeyore I hate that, you know, you're yeah.

00:35:57.030 --> 00:35:59.110
Oh, yeah. I don't want to be Eeyore I don't want

00:35:59.110 --> 00:36:00.929
to come across as Eeyore. I don't want you know,

00:36:00.989 --> 00:36:02.849
it's just because kind of how I'm drawn right

00:36:02.849 --> 00:36:07.300
now Doesn't mean I won't have more buoyance later,

00:36:07.400 --> 00:36:09.360
and I'll continue to do those things. Remember

00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:11.139
to do what works. What's going to be? I know

00:36:11.139 --> 00:36:14.260
I feel worse if I don't exercise, if I don't

00:36:14.260 --> 00:36:17.739
eat well, if I don't interact with people, if

00:36:17.739 --> 00:36:21.079
I don't go outside, I do much worse. So I do

00:36:21.079 --> 00:36:24.400
all of those things to make me as happy and buoyant

00:36:24.400 --> 00:36:28.320
as I can be given my current status as a human

00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:32.960
in the world. So well, in my grains, I don't

00:36:32.960 --> 00:36:35.179
make it mean anything other than It's a thing

00:36:35.179 --> 00:36:38.039
that happens to me. And sometimes I feel worse

00:36:38.039 --> 00:36:40.860
than other times. And sometimes I feel better.

00:36:40.960 --> 00:36:45.400
I won't say I don't ever feel buoyant, but not

00:36:45.400 --> 00:36:48.099
a lot. And then there are times when you have

00:36:48.099 --> 00:36:50.000
a migraine and you get called out for them by

00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:52.059
me and I say, what's wrong with you, Claire?

00:36:52.619 --> 00:36:56.260
Why aren't you smiling, Claire? And then I learn

00:36:56.260 --> 00:37:03.409
and I'm sorry. I think in that class. That is

00:37:03.409 --> 00:37:05.570
me in a nutshell. What's wrong with you, Claire?

00:37:05.889 --> 00:37:10.170
Well, Carly, let me tell you. During that, this

00:37:10.170 --> 00:37:12.610
is an aside, during the pandemic, I had trouble

00:37:12.610 --> 00:37:16.110
with my contacts and I just couldn't get, I couldn't

00:37:16.110 --> 00:37:18.590
get my prescription worked out and I couldn't

00:37:18.590 --> 00:37:20.630
get ones I like. So I'm just committed to wearing

00:37:20.630 --> 00:37:23.170
glasses and I'm nearsighted. So when I'm at work,

00:37:23.289 --> 00:37:25.789
I don't need them. But when I go to CFIT, I wear

00:37:25.789 --> 00:37:27.750
them so I can see what you guys are doing. But

00:37:27.750 --> 00:37:30.980
if I have to do a lot of you know bend over or

00:37:30.980 --> 00:37:33.119
do skaters and touch the floor my glasses will

00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:35.559
come off so on that particular day I said my

00:37:35.559 --> 00:37:37.320
face was sweaty I stopped to take my glasses

00:37:37.320 --> 00:37:39.280
off and you said something like I know that trick

00:37:39.280 --> 00:37:46.530
Claire I'm like how bad do you feel No, it's

00:37:46.530 --> 00:37:49.030
okay, because sometimes I do stop and take a

00:37:49.030 --> 00:37:50.409
drink of water when I'm not thirsty, because

00:37:50.409 --> 00:37:52.789
I need a breath. I know, but Victoria's always

00:37:52.789 --> 00:37:55.070
like, stop calling people out. You have no idea

00:37:55.070 --> 00:37:56.829
what they're going through, and that's exactly

00:37:56.829 --> 00:37:58.510
why, because I was like, really? You're stopping

00:37:58.510 --> 00:38:00.110
Claire to take your glasses off? We all know

00:38:00.110 --> 00:38:04.809
that trick. And you're like, dying inside. There

00:38:04.809 --> 00:38:07.210
have been times when I have been about to pass

00:38:07.210 --> 00:38:09.610
out in that class, but I keep going, because

00:38:09.610 --> 00:38:11.789
I'm like, I'm not walking out. I've got to keep

00:38:11.789 --> 00:38:13.269
going. I've got to keep going. I don't want to

00:38:13.269 --> 00:38:15.090
pass out. If I pass out on the floor, I guess.

00:38:15.050 --> 00:38:17.309
I would give me a pass, but I don't think so.

00:38:17.429 --> 00:38:19.670
Not for Carly. I don't think so. Get up! Get

00:38:19.670 --> 00:38:21.510
up! What are you doing? Claire, we know that

00:38:21.510 --> 00:38:24.150
trick. You're now a trip and fall hazard. We

00:38:24.150 --> 00:38:26.429
know that trick, Claire. Get up. If it were my

00:38:26.429 --> 00:38:28.809
class, we would dance around you and try to make

00:38:28.809 --> 00:38:31.690
you elevate. And Carly would just be like, everyone

00:38:31.690 --> 00:38:34.690
point up Claire. Well, this is another aside.

00:38:35.190 --> 00:38:38.630
We call Claire Mary -Kate and Ashley Olsen because

00:38:38.630 --> 00:38:41.610
she comes in with a backwards hat sometimes and

00:38:41.739 --> 00:38:44.579
She looks just like the Olsen twins. It takes

00:38:44.579 --> 00:38:47.719
two. It takes two. A 61 year old Olsen twin.

00:38:47.880 --> 00:38:49.900
But we had to make her look up because she didn't

00:38:49.900 --> 00:38:51.820
know who it was. At first, it was funny. It's

00:38:51.820 --> 00:38:54.039
like, oh, do I look like, you know, like back

00:38:54.039 --> 00:38:56.760
to my, do I look stupid? Do I look like, hey,

00:38:56.940 --> 00:38:59.599
no, wait, hey, I don't think anybody's ever given

00:38:59.599 --> 00:39:03.280
me a nickname before. This is awesome. We gave

00:39:03.280 --> 00:39:07.260
you two. Mary Kate and Ashley. That's me. I wear

00:39:07.260 --> 00:39:11.340
my hat. Double the fun. So when you did the TV

00:39:11.340 --> 00:39:13.739
shows, they were, maybe I'll have my hat on,

00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:18.000
they'll do Full House. I never watched that show,

00:39:18.019 --> 00:39:20.139
so I don't actually know the full, I mean, it

00:39:20.139 --> 00:39:23.639
was on after I was a kid, so I'm old enough that

00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:26.440
that is. I'm too old for that show. You're never

00:39:26.440 --> 00:39:28.139
too old for Full House, and you're never too

00:39:28.139 --> 00:39:31.960
old for Mary -Kate and Ashley. Clearly, I had

00:39:31.960 --> 00:39:34.320
to look them up. I found the film. You should

00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:35.599
watch It Takes Two. It's a really good movie.

00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:37.800
One of them was wearing a hat backwards. I don't

00:39:37.800 --> 00:39:40.260
know which one. We don't either. That's why we

00:39:40.260 --> 00:39:43.360
call you both. I used to. I think we used to,

00:39:43.380 --> 00:39:50.800
yeah. I'm kind of in awe of your hard work, because

00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:52.599
what you're describing is not an easy thing to

00:39:52.599 --> 00:39:56.840
do. on the daily with what you sometimes deal

00:39:56.840 --> 00:40:00.300
with mentally and you like you make those choices

00:40:00.300 --> 00:40:02.559
to get up to get out to do the list of things

00:40:02.559 --> 00:40:04.519
that you know that work which i love that do

00:40:04.519 --> 00:40:09.380
what works i'm gonna use that um and yeah we

00:40:09.380 --> 00:40:11.800
at the same time as we're like claire is like

00:40:11.800 --> 00:40:14.260
the happiest person and we love claire and everything

00:40:14.260 --> 00:40:17.119
that doesn't mean you're not to be happy yeah

00:40:17.119 --> 00:40:19.340
yeah it just i would give you a lot of credit

00:40:19.340 --> 00:40:21.199
i give you a lot of credit so well in my usual

00:40:21.199 --> 00:40:24.599
day Mostly, I'm not having bad days, I'm having

00:40:24.599 --> 00:40:28.000
flat days. And going to CFIT classes helps. So

00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:29.139
I always feel better when I work out. That's

00:40:29.139 --> 00:40:31.320
awesome. This is the other thing. And you guys

00:40:31.320 --> 00:40:33.559
are fun. And so I give you guys a lot of credit.

00:40:34.619 --> 00:40:37.420
Somebody just tell me about CFIT. I'm like, well,

00:40:37.579 --> 00:40:40.460
there's two sisters, and it's like going to a...

00:40:41.230 --> 00:40:43.849
like imagine you're you're gonna audition for

00:40:43.849 --> 00:40:46.489
the big show and it's the it's the choreography

00:40:46.489 --> 00:40:48.650
it's you're being taught the choreography for

00:40:48.650 --> 00:40:50.909
your audition I did that in my head once just

00:40:50.909 --> 00:40:53.769
like hey I know I'm gonna audition for the big

00:40:53.769 --> 00:40:55.809
show and here's the steps and do the you know

00:40:55.809 --> 00:40:59.010
and so it made it funner than I could pretend

00:40:59.010 --> 00:41:01.130
but you guys also are kind of a little bit like

00:41:01.130 --> 00:41:03.849
a stand -up routine so you're well we know that

00:41:04.579 --> 00:41:08.280
We we're aware of that and I have you bring tomatoes

00:41:08.280 --> 00:41:12.000
I Have siblings and we have a lot of fun together.

00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:15.019
So watching you two be siblings having fun together

00:41:15.019 --> 00:41:18.219
is it's very it's just it's good. That's fine.

00:41:18.219 --> 00:41:21.050
Well, that makes us feel better because If you're

00:41:21.050 --> 00:41:23.010
having a flat day and we can elevate your flat

00:41:23.010 --> 00:41:25.469
day, that is what makes us happy. That's why,

00:41:25.650 --> 00:41:28.010
and me getting to class in the mornings is way

00:41:28.010 --> 00:41:29.829
easier than me getting to class at the end of

00:41:29.829 --> 00:41:32.289
the day, both schedule -wise and also just, oh,

00:41:32.389 --> 00:41:34.349
I can't even. Sometimes by the end of the day,

00:41:34.469 --> 00:41:37.369
I'm just like, I cannot even. And if I've worked

00:41:37.369 --> 00:41:38.969
out in the morning, then great. If you see me

00:41:38.969 --> 00:41:41.280
in a two... twice in a day, you know I'm really

00:41:41.280 --> 00:41:44.599
working on feeling better. Yes. You came on a

00:41:44.599 --> 00:41:46.400
Wednesday morning and I was like, Claire's back

00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:49.159
on Wednesday night, this is great. I remember

00:41:49.159 --> 00:41:51.400
that. But that like good for you though. Yeah.

00:41:51.460 --> 00:41:55.320
Like I just, that's, it's hard. I know that,

00:41:55.320 --> 00:41:57.199
that it's hard. She knows what works and that

00:41:57.199 --> 00:41:59.119
works for her. She knows she needed to feel better.

00:41:59.179 --> 00:42:02.300
She came back. I mean, we're very honored that

00:42:02.300 --> 00:42:04.480
that's what you picked, that we are what you

00:42:04.480 --> 00:42:07.650
picked because. We don't always feel that way.

00:42:07.949 --> 00:42:11.210
So you guys make us feel like we don't always

00:42:11.210 --> 00:42:13.670
want to come back. We don't have a choice. There

00:42:13.670 --> 00:42:15.590
was one class, I'm not going to bring up the

00:42:15.590 --> 00:42:17.670
reason, but there was one class that everybody

00:42:17.670 --> 00:42:20.889
was down. We were down. We know you were down.

00:42:21.170 --> 00:42:23.469
Everybody was down. But teaching that class,

00:42:23.789 --> 00:42:25.860
we didn't want to teach. Nobody wanted to come.

00:42:26.159 --> 00:42:29.199
Was this in November? It was. And afterwards,

00:42:29.780 --> 00:42:31.900
we all felt better. We did. We all felt better.

00:42:31.940 --> 00:42:34.079
And that's part of being part of a community

00:42:34.079 --> 00:42:38.519
that supports instead of is in it for yourself.

00:42:38.579 --> 00:42:40.699
There are a lot of gyms that that's what they

00:42:40.699 --> 00:42:43.440
thrive off of. And that's cool. Ours is like

00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:45.820
you were trying to help each other get through

00:42:45.820 --> 00:42:49.019
the day. Yeah. Yeah. And that was that was a

00:42:49.019 --> 00:42:50.579
tough one because we didn't want to be there

00:42:50.579 --> 00:42:53.750
either. But you guys made it. worth it for us

00:42:53.750 --> 00:42:55.469
to be like, okay, now I feel better. And vice

00:42:55.469 --> 00:42:59.469
versa. Yeah, vice versa. And you know, together

00:42:59.469 --> 00:43:02.010
we'll persevere better than, you know, staying

00:43:02.010 --> 00:43:05.289
home and eating Ben and Jerry's and watching

00:43:05.289 --> 00:43:06.789
the news. Well, that sounds really good too though,

00:43:06.869 --> 00:43:10.230
Claire. Well, that's true. So Lucy and I, my

00:43:10.230 --> 00:43:13.989
wife goes to, she's part of a choir. Oh, nice.

00:43:14.449 --> 00:43:18.369
And so, hey, I'm home alone. Then that and I'm

00:43:18.369 --> 00:43:20.889
tired after a long day in my kitchen and refrigerator

00:43:20.889 --> 00:43:23.929
and freezer full of you know yummy items is right

00:43:23.929 --> 00:43:27.849
there So I'm gonna be Much better. If I go occupy

00:43:27.849 --> 00:43:30.449
myself, I could go to CFIT. I can start going

00:43:30.449 --> 00:43:33.090
to the library on Wednesday nights. Remember

00:43:33.090 --> 00:43:35.329
what works. Don't leave myself in situations

00:43:35.329 --> 00:43:37.849
where I only have to rely on willpower if I'm

00:43:37.849 --> 00:43:40.909
depleted. How can I do that? How can I get myself

00:43:40.909 --> 00:43:42.889
structured to do things that I want? I joined

00:43:42.889 --> 00:43:45.789
a mandolin orchestra. I've been working on playing

00:43:45.789 --> 00:43:49.269
mandolin for a few years, and I'd kind of stagnated.

00:43:49.409 --> 00:43:52.099
I have a great... mandolin instructor. She's

00:43:52.099 --> 00:43:54.320
in a band. She's awesome. I love her. Hi Rachel.

00:43:56.279 --> 00:43:58.280
I said, Rachel, what am I? I'm kind of stuck.

00:43:58.320 --> 00:44:00.039
What do I need to do? She said, you need to find

00:44:00.039 --> 00:44:01.679
other people to play with. You're not going to

00:44:01.679 --> 00:44:04.239
get better until you, like, I think she meant,

00:44:04.239 --> 00:44:07.519
like, go find people to jam with, but jam? That's,

00:44:07.780 --> 00:44:10.099
I'm a little too stiff for jamming. It's like

00:44:10.099 --> 00:44:12.539
me going to see fit. You want, you want me to

00:44:12.539 --> 00:44:17.260
spin now in circle? Like, oh no, here's freestyle

00:44:17.260 --> 00:44:22.380
dance item? Oh, shit. I shall, I shall look stiff

00:44:22.380 --> 00:44:24.980
and awkward. Okay, good. That moment has passed.

00:44:25.739 --> 00:44:29.639
everybody else so we're all so but I found the

00:44:29.639 --> 00:44:33.300
Munier mandolin guitar mandolin and guitar orchestra

00:44:33.300 --> 00:44:35.480
here in the Philadelphia area I started when

00:44:35.480 --> 00:44:37.420
I started rehearsing with them on Mondays and

00:44:37.420 --> 00:44:39.880
we played play gigs and that's why I can't come

00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:42.440
on Monday nights I want to come see you play

00:44:42.440 --> 00:44:46.039
we'll have a concert in May and at st. Philomena's

00:44:46.039 --> 00:44:48.480
just down the way oh my gosh so you keep yourself

00:44:48.480 --> 00:44:53.210
busy well is that a way that I keep myself busy

00:44:53.210 --> 00:44:55.630
doing things that are in service of my values.

00:44:56.329 --> 00:44:58.130
So learning an instrument is something I wanted

00:44:58.130 --> 00:45:00.670
to do. It also helps with my long -term brain

00:45:00.670 --> 00:45:03.869
health plan. You know, if I want to keep my marbles...

00:45:03.920 --> 00:45:06.599
you know I'm gonna keep my body in good shape

00:45:06.599 --> 00:45:09.599
if I want to keep my marbles also then what can

00:45:09.599 --> 00:45:12.260
I do now to make sure that I'm setting myself

00:45:12.260 --> 00:45:14.559
up for good brain health and learning a learning

00:45:14.559 --> 00:45:17.480
new stuff challenging your brain to create new

00:45:17.480 --> 00:45:21.500
synapses you know synaptic pathways is great

00:45:21.500 --> 00:45:24.280
practice and so if I can learn get good with

00:45:24.280 --> 00:45:26.420
mandolin that's fun music does something for

00:45:26.420 --> 00:45:28.940
you playing in community it's got there's a lot

00:45:28.940 --> 00:45:32.920
of benefit to that so what can I do that absorbs

00:45:32.920 --> 00:45:35.800
me and gives me that benefit. Going to the library,

00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:38.940
it's not like I'm just wandering around. I accidentally

00:45:38.940 --> 00:45:41.800
started a genealogy project. Of course you did.

00:45:42.119 --> 00:45:43.820
Of course you did. I did not mean to, but then

00:45:43.820 --> 00:45:47.000
I've discovered this crazy relative of mine that

00:45:47.000 --> 00:45:49.960
the story about him is not true, and I am here

00:45:49.960 --> 00:45:52.159
to set the record straight. I'm going to tell

00:45:52.159 --> 00:45:55.199
the world about Ezra Baker Jr. because he got

00:45:55.199 --> 00:45:57.900
a bad rap, and I've discovered, well, some of

00:45:57.900 --> 00:46:00.320
it he might have deserved. Oh my God, Claire.

00:46:00.599 --> 00:46:02.960
So I go to the library and they've got great

00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:05.039
research tools that you can't get at home. Like

00:46:05.039 --> 00:46:08.199
it's free. Like what? At least for now. So somebody

00:46:08.199 --> 00:46:11.599
takes away all of our libraries. Claire just

00:46:11.599 --> 00:46:14.260
sank down. Oh, Claire. It's okay. We're okay.

00:46:14.699 --> 00:46:17.380
It'll be okay. I can find a better feeling thought.

00:46:17.619 --> 00:46:20.239
It's okay. Nobody can take away the internet.

00:46:20.500 --> 00:46:24.480
Do what you know. What works. So anyway, that's,

00:46:24.739 --> 00:46:28.780
um, and you know, if, uh, If it's fun and absorbing,

00:46:29.380 --> 00:46:33.460
it's good for me. Nothing bad happens. I'm producing.

00:46:33.840 --> 00:46:35.780
I'm, you know, being constructive. I'm not, you

00:46:35.780 --> 00:46:38.239
know, it's great. So find stuff to do. I want

00:46:38.239 --> 00:46:41.380
to be you when I grow up. I know. I want to be

00:46:41.380 --> 00:46:44.420
Claire. I want to be Claire. And we're also going

00:46:44.420 --> 00:46:50.079
to play a game. We're going to play a game. OK,

00:46:50.099 --> 00:46:53.000
I'm ready. I love games. All right. Well, first

00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:57.159
of all, I want to ask you, circling back. Would

00:46:57.159 --> 00:47:00.360
your lesbian running group allow me to join?

00:47:00.800 --> 00:47:06.639
No! Absolutely. Claire, you answered wrong. Except

00:47:06.639 --> 00:47:08.260
it's Saturday morning and you don't even have

00:47:08.260 --> 00:47:09.219
something to do on Saturday morning. Oh, yeah,

00:47:09.380 --> 00:47:10.719
we teach Saturday morning. No, no, no, you can

00:47:10.719 --> 00:47:12.980
have her. Is that why you don't come to class,

00:47:12.980 --> 00:47:14.639
Claire, because you're running? That is. I'm

00:47:14.639 --> 00:47:16.480
either running with Lezren or I'm across the

00:47:16.480 --> 00:47:18.340
hall doing a Weight Watcher class because I'm

00:47:18.340 --> 00:47:20.460
subbing for... I really like the name of your

00:47:20.460 --> 00:47:22.000
running group and I want to... I feel like it

00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:23.860
would be really fun. I might take off on Saturday

00:47:23.860 --> 00:47:25.260
and join you. It is really fun and there's no

00:47:25.260 --> 00:47:27.940
judgment. Anybody wants to show up, can? One

00:47:27.940 --> 00:47:29.659
time we had a whole group of Japanese tourists

00:47:29.659 --> 00:47:33.119
who found it on Meetup and I don't think they

00:47:33.119 --> 00:47:35.400
knew what they were doing. We're like, hey, great

00:47:35.400 --> 00:47:38.079
to see you, not English speakers. Come on, we're

00:47:38.079 --> 00:47:40.239
going to run three miles. It was kind of hilarious.

00:47:40.619 --> 00:47:42.260
I'm in. I'm joining for a day. You might see

00:47:42.260 --> 00:47:44.579
me show up one Saturday morning. OK, Lloyd Hall,

00:47:44.900 --> 00:47:48.960
8 AM, every Saturday, rain or shine. Done. I'm

00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:51.039
taking off one Saturday. The only time we don't

00:47:51.039 --> 00:47:53.260
meet is if it's dangerous on the course, like

00:47:53.260 --> 00:47:56.599
icy or something. It's been around 10 years.

00:47:56.780 --> 00:47:59.099
C .C. Tayez. She's a founder. She keeps it going.

00:47:59.199 --> 00:48:02.159
She's awesome. Lez run. Lez run. Let's do it.

00:48:02.300 --> 00:48:04.460
All right. This game is called the Claire Bear

00:48:04.460 --> 00:48:07.500
Stare. All right. All right. Claire Bear Stare.

00:48:07.579 --> 00:48:10.559
This is rapid fire. I'm ready. You have to pick.

00:48:10.880 --> 00:48:14.079
I actually think she is ready. You have to pick

00:48:14.079 --> 00:48:16.699
as fast as you can. I know you like to think.

00:48:16.860 --> 00:48:18.900
Don't think about it. OK. Mountains or beach?

00:48:19.280 --> 00:48:21.460
Mountains. Going out, staying home? Staying home.

00:48:21.980 --> 00:48:24.739
Podcast or reading a book? Podcast. Drama or

00:48:24.739 --> 00:48:28.920
comedy? Comedy. Christmas, Halloween. Halloween.

00:48:29.199 --> 00:48:33.800
Oh, that was too slow. Long run, long walk. Long

00:48:33.800 --> 00:48:36.380
walk. Oh, Lezron doesn't like that. Oh, Lezron

00:48:36.380 --> 00:48:41.800
does not. Be that as it may. Not intimidated.

00:48:42.039 --> 00:48:43.760
No, no, she's not. She's got the stare. She's

00:48:43.760 --> 00:48:44.780
got the Claire Bear stare. I mean, what do I

00:48:44.780 --> 00:48:46.500
prefer? Running's good for me. Walking is fun.

00:48:46.500 --> 00:48:48.900
No, rapid fire, Claire. Ready. Snowy day, beach

00:48:48.900 --> 00:48:53.840
day. Snowy day. Coffee, tea. Oh. Yep. I know.

00:48:53.960 --> 00:48:55.880
Both. You're drinking tea right now. But I had

00:48:55.880 --> 00:48:59.360
coffee earlier. Okay. Pop music, pop music, folk

00:48:59.360 --> 00:49:04.179
music. Pop. And sing specifically? No. Oh. Who

00:49:04.179 --> 00:49:06.960
specifically? I like Pink. Okay. She's my fave.

00:49:07.000 --> 00:49:09.079
All right, good to know, good to know. Yoga or

00:49:09.079 --> 00:49:14.489
kickboxing? Rapid fire. Kickboxing. I have a

00:49:14.489 --> 00:49:16.030
black belt in taekwondo. I've never heard you

00:49:16.030 --> 00:49:18.829
guys that. Claire! Are you kidding me? I know.

00:49:19.949 --> 00:49:22.090
I hesitate to tell you now because your expectations

00:49:22.090 --> 00:49:25.010
now will go up for my sidekick in my kickbox.

00:49:25.070 --> 00:49:28.349
My kids take taekwondo. Gosh darn it, Claire.

00:49:28.769 --> 00:49:31.750
I can kick their butts. I'm sure you could. That

00:49:31.750 --> 00:49:33.449
little one's a piece of work though. Can you

00:49:33.449 --> 00:49:36.809
kick hers? All right. Movies in the theater or

00:49:36.809 --> 00:49:42.039
movies at home? Theater. Cats, dogs. Dogs. Vacation

00:49:42.039 --> 00:49:45.599
abroad, staycation at home. Abroad. Sweet, salty.

00:49:46.679 --> 00:49:50.539
Yes. I have dogs, cats again. I clearly didn't

00:49:50.539 --> 00:49:52.159
like your answer the first time. Dogs, still

00:49:52.159 --> 00:49:55.380
dogs. I like cats, but dogs. Carly or Victoria?

00:49:56.559 --> 00:50:06.940
Yes. Claire, you won! Claire, you really do wear

00:50:06.940 --> 00:50:10.340
so many hats. I do. Oh my gosh, we need another

00:50:10.340 --> 00:50:13.079
day to talk to you. And wait, she has a podcast.

00:50:13.199 --> 00:50:15.179
What's your podcast called? Practical Change

00:50:15.179 --> 00:50:18.920
for Midlife Lesbians. What? I know. Practical

00:50:18.920 --> 00:50:21.460
Change for Midlife Lesbians? My coaching business

00:50:21.460 --> 00:50:24.880
is practicalchangecoaching .com. So we're going

00:50:24.880 --> 00:50:26.760
to put that on the, we'll put it on the, we'll

00:50:26.760 --> 00:50:29.659
link it to the. And I've got, I've got TikTok

00:50:29.659 --> 00:50:32.199
and Instagram and Facebook. Mostly I'm active

00:50:32.199 --> 00:50:34.659
on TikTok, but not that active. Shut up. Yes,

00:50:34.659 --> 00:50:37.800
I know. Do you do? We have to do a TikTok with

00:50:37.800 --> 00:50:41.579
you. You're so cool. I am so cool. Claire. No,

00:50:41.800 --> 00:50:45.559
I'm dead serious. Yeah, my TikTok, it's funny

00:50:45.559 --> 00:50:47.539
because the stuff that goes, that really picks

00:50:47.539 --> 00:50:50.380
up traction is stories about being an old lesbian.

00:50:50.719 --> 00:50:53.980
I remember back in the day we had gay bars, lesbian

00:50:53.980 --> 00:50:56.380
bars. Like, what? That's a thing? Yeah, lesbian

00:50:56.380 --> 00:50:58.079
bars used to be a thing. And, you know, you used

00:50:58.079 --> 00:50:59.880
to meet people in person. And sometimes there'd

00:50:59.880 --> 00:51:01.940
be personal ads in the newspaper, but there was

00:51:01.940 --> 00:51:03.760
no internet. So I had to meet people. You know,

00:51:03.760 --> 00:51:07.320
it's like, my old lesbian stories seem to catch

00:51:07.320 --> 00:51:09.260
traction. Because they don't get it now. Hey,

00:51:09.260 --> 00:51:11.019
let me tell you some coachy stuff. Nobody cares.

00:51:11.099 --> 00:51:14.980
It's fine. I'm tuning in so hard. So hard, Claire.

00:51:15.699 --> 00:51:17.920
God, she's going to say something else next week

00:51:17.920 --> 00:51:20.719
that she does, and we're going to be floored.

00:51:21.239 --> 00:51:23.340
Save it. This is great. And my kids are way more

00:51:23.340 --> 00:51:26.519
interesting than me. The circus artist, like,

00:51:26.579 --> 00:51:28.679
oh my god, my son is a circus artist. That's

00:51:28.679 --> 00:51:30.639
amazing. My other son is amazing, too. He's just

00:51:30.639 --> 00:51:32.239
very private, so I can't tell you anything about

00:51:32.239 --> 00:51:35.280
him. It's a secret. Love it. But Scott, yeah,

00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:37.639
he's in the circus. He is. He goes to the National

00:51:37.639 --> 00:51:39.840
Circus School of Canada. Ecole nationale de cirque.

00:51:40.539 --> 00:51:43.360
And Claire will go up to Canada to go see her

00:51:43.360 --> 00:51:45.980
son on a Friday and come back Saturday. Sunday.

00:51:46.199 --> 00:51:48.599
Sunday. Yeah. She's crazy. She'll drive up to

00:51:48.599 --> 00:51:49.920
Canada in a weekend just because she's like,

00:51:49.980 --> 00:51:51.659
I want to go see my son perform in his circus.

00:51:52.019 --> 00:51:53.820
A couple of times we've gone up, I've driven

00:51:53.820 --> 00:51:57.599
up and back nonstop to get him home in time for

00:51:57.599 --> 00:51:59.780
Thanksgiving weekend. So Canadian Thanksgiving

00:51:59.780 --> 00:52:04.480
is in October and he loves. United States Thanksgiving,

00:52:04.539 --> 00:52:06.539
but he doesn't have any time off for that. Yeah

00:52:06.539 --> 00:52:09.960
take this year. We went up I drove up on Friday

00:52:09.960 --> 00:52:13.280
morning grabbed him Friday after oh no, I drove

00:52:13.280 --> 00:52:16.940
up on Thanksgiving Day Thursday Grabbed him got

00:52:16.940 --> 00:52:18.940
him home for Friday. We just postponed Thanksgiving

00:52:18.940 --> 00:52:20.980
a day So he could be home because you could be

00:52:20.980 --> 00:52:24.059
home for the fest you are we're all vegetarian

00:52:24.059 --> 00:52:26.760
so there's you know Oh my god, and you're a vegetarian?

00:52:26.940 --> 00:52:29.039
I am. Oh my god, Victoria. And I have celiac

00:52:29.039 --> 00:52:32.760
disease, so I can't. What? I know. Just like

00:52:32.760 --> 00:52:36.599
peel me back like an onion. So much. Let's do

00:52:36.599 --> 00:52:41.920
it. I love it. I will never get over this. It's

00:52:41.920 --> 00:52:44.880
all because of a migraine. It is. It all is.

00:52:44.900 --> 00:52:47.219
So that migraine. And my choosing to share that

00:52:47.219 --> 00:52:48.900
with you, because I could have just left. You

00:52:48.900 --> 00:52:51.320
could have just left. But you, yeah, you could

00:52:51.320 --> 00:52:54.090
have just left. But Carly likes to pry. No, and

00:52:54.090 --> 00:52:57.989
I did feel like I was I do you know I know that

00:52:57.989 --> 00:52:59.909
it can be like I stand in front of the Weight

00:52:59.909 --> 00:53:03.429
Watcher room and sometimes people are not giving

00:53:03.429 --> 00:53:05.489
you any energy back and it's really really hard

00:53:05.489 --> 00:53:09.429
and so I You get empathy for you all if you've

00:53:09.429 --> 00:53:11.989
got a class. It's just not either very big or

00:53:11.989 --> 00:53:15.309
very energetic so right so anyway Well, I appreciate

00:53:15.309 --> 00:53:17.530
that and thank you for letting me pry into your

00:53:17.530 --> 00:53:20.019
life and be like Claire, save it, we need to

00:53:20.019 --> 00:53:22.579
talk about this with microphones. Yeah, I have

00:53:22.579 --> 00:53:24.360
a real problem talking about myself, clearly.

00:53:25.539 --> 00:53:28.119
We share that. She just winked and it was so

00:53:28.119 --> 00:53:32.539
cool. Oh my god, that's the coolest wink I've

00:53:32.539 --> 00:53:36.400
ever seen. Claire, we're hanging out. I gotta

00:53:36.400 --> 00:53:38.059
hang out with you. We're probably out of time,

00:53:38.179 --> 00:53:40.300
right? I've made your podcast be way too long.

00:53:40.519 --> 00:53:41.960
This is the best day of our lives. You're gonna

00:53:41.960 --> 00:53:44.800
have to edit out so much stuff. No, what I said

00:53:44.800 --> 00:53:47.059
to you in person was real. Everybody, and you

00:53:47.059 --> 00:53:50.539
said the same thing. If you're a seafitter, you

00:53:50.539 --> 00:53:52.420
will now get to know who Claire is, which is

00:53:52.420 --> 00:53:54.639
really fun to look around the room and feel like

00:53:54.639 --> 00:53:56.800
you got to know somebody that you might not have.

00:53:56.860 --> 00:53:58.739
Thank you. I've been laughing too much. I need

00:53:58.739 --> 00:54:02.539
a tissue. And to get to know somebody that you

00:54:02.539 --> 00:54:05.039
would have never have learned about otherwise.

00:54:05.400 --> 00:54:08.059
And if you're not a seafitter, this is all really

00:54:08.059 --> 00:54:10.420
important stuff. So like really good tips. The

00:54:10.420 --> 00:54:12.519
whole episode was tips from Claire, basically.

00:54:12.539 --> 00:54:14.780
Sweet. You know, so either way, whether you know

00:54:14.780 --> 00:54:17.500
Claire in person or not, it's going to be beneficial.

00:54:17.800 --> 00:54:21.380
Do what works. So listen, listen to her because

00:54:21.380 --> 00:54:23.780
it works. Remember to do what works. And it might

00:54:23.780 --> 00:54:25.639
be different for you, but figure out what, you

00:54:25.639 --> 00:54:28.440
know, and keep trying, keep, get curious, keep

00:54:28.440 --> 00:54:30.980
iterating, just keep trying things until you

00:54:30.980 --> 00:54:33.460
find that, oh yeah, I felt better today. What

00:54:33.460 --> 00:54:36.119
did I do? Okay, let me do that some more. Just

00:54:36.119 --> 00:54:40.449
do more of that. Brilliant. Claire. Thank you

00:54:40.449 --> 00:54:42.369
so much for taking time today. Thanks for having

00:54:42.369 --> 00:54:44.889
me over. This is great. I can't wait. Follow

00:54:44.889 --> 00:54:48.130
her on TikTok, Instagram, her podcast. We'll

00:54:48.130 --> 00:54:51.170
link her website. Follow her bike. Follow the

00:54:51.170 --> 00:54:53.230
bike around Springfield and go up to her in class

00:54:53.230 --> 00:54:55.650
and just be like, Claire, you are cool because

00:54:55.650 --> 00:54:57.590
you are super cool. Maybe she won't get you too.

00:54:58.909 --> 00:55:02.650
No, she saves that for special occasions. Special

00:55:02.650 --> 00:55:06.769
occasions only, Claire. I feel like this is the

00:55:06.769 --> 00:55:09.710
most appropriate sign off though. Yeah. To be

00:55:09.710 --> 00:55:12.969
like, remember that you're always fit to be real.

00:55:13.070 --> 00:55:16.530
I feel like you're as real as you can be and

00:55:16.530 --> 00:55:20.289
super extra. Yeah. In the best way. Yeah. Not

00:55:20.289 --> 00:55:22.969
even just a little bit extra. No. Super. Super

00:55:22.969 --> 00:55:24.550
extra Claire. Did you see the wink? You didn't

00:55:24.550 --> 00:55:28.230
see the wink. I'm on this side of it, so. Gosh

00:55:28.230 --> 00:55:32.010
darn it. What is wrong with you? No, you can't

00:55:32.010 --> 00:55:35.650
wink. Don't do that. Carly tried. It was a little

00:55:35.650 --> 00:55:38.110
more so. I did it and a little extra. Yeah. It

00:55:38.110 --> 00:55:40.610
was creepy. That was a little creepy. You're

00:55:40.610 --> 00:55:43.329
fit to be real and a little creepy. Well, you

00:55:43.329 --> 00:55:48.889
should never wink at your sister, so. The more

00:55:48.889 --> 00:55:52.969
you know. Thanks, Claire. Thank you, Claire.

00:55:53.190 --> 00:55:59.550
You're the best. You're the best. For legal reasons,

00:55:59.730 --> 00:56:01.389
we have to tell you that this podcast is meant

00:56:01.389 --> 00:56:03.769
for entertainment and educational purposes only.

00:56:03.849 --> 00:56:06.409
We are not healthcare professionals. For all

00:56:06.409 --> 00:56:08.590
of your health, wellness, fitness, and self -care

00:56:08.590 --> 00:56:10.829
needs, please refer to the medical professional

00:56:10.829 --> 00:56:13.489
in your life. Your primary care physician, your

00:56:13.489 --> 00:56:16.070
therapist, a certified coach, whoever it may

00:56:16.070 --> 00:56:18.510
be. And then let us know what they say because

00:56:18.510 --> 00:56:22.869
I guarantee we need to know it too. Okay? Okay,

00:56:22.989 --> 00:56:23.110
bye.