Welcome to fit to be real and a little extra. We have merch
You soon very soon can also have merch
Have a fireside chat and hold a mug that says you do you boo boo
Yep, and then our little fit to be real on the other side. I'm afraid to spill
Yeah, but it's there
We'll post all of these on our Instagram so that you can see what's going on and
Carly went above and beyond I did and showed up today with some other little fit to be real merch
Yeah, we have to buy our own merch
No, we do no we do
So this is our I'm a husband baby. Nope, but and it's literally for your real tips and
extra tips look it is beautifully
lined
So you can write down what we tell you to do and then not do them like me
No
But like maybe but it does say that real tips and real extra tips. So it has a purpose
I'm kind of obsessed with that. Yeah, and then she got the magnet. This is the see fit magnet
This is for see fit. Yeah, not fit to be real, but this is also one of three sizes. Yes
I got the middle size. So there's a bigger one and a smaller one. Yeah, and I got a trader car
You know support spread the love and then these are our because we're really cool
I mean, these are our fit to be real pins the kids love a good pin Malady put one right on her backpack today
This is our you do you a boo boo just like the mug
This one says Carly do it. Hey guys
That's it. It just says hey guys, but like you get it when you say it when you see it
Yeah, you say so like you get it
This one says I'm a hustler baby
This we're good. Yeah. Yeah, I'm on it today. It's called me Ariana Grande
Amazing and then we're actually missing one. So these come in a set of four. Oh, Malady took the fit to be real logo
Yeah, so it's like a little it's be real
podcast logo and you know
Support the beginning of a lot of our merch that Victoria has worked very very hard on and Pedro for the past few months
Because we wanted to get it right. We want it to look good and
Yeah, she's worked really hard on it and they have worked really hard. So it's all coming
Yes, it is
because
Carly has brought some things that I said, oh want to change that so it's coming very very soon
I my type A needs to go away, but I mean stop I
Ordered it all already. So we'll keep bringing it in and it it's coming out sooner than yeah
Yeah, oh, it's definitely coming out soon. Um
But it's see fit and then it's also fit to be real
So it's a one-stop shop for both and we have like a few fit to be real items. This is most of it
There are two clothing items. Um that haven't been finalized neither one of us bought our own stuff there, but
No, I did I bought I bought it
You did I did it's coming
Oh
Okay, amazing. Well, that's coming soon. Actually, that's good. I like that
So surprise
Yay, happy happy valentine's day surprise. Yes, that's your valentine's present from us
We love merch. We actually do I love all I've loved free merch. Yeah, I love expensive
Anytime I go and like to a new place and they have something cool whether it's a brewery and I've only been there once
I'm like, man. I love that t-shirt. I am an obsessive merch buyer
Wait, so there was a a small little was it a bar or a brewery?
Aston Abbey Aston Abbey was that a beer? Yeah, we did step class there
Answer my question. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah, it was a brewery
Yes, we used to work out there and then drink beer. Yeah, and I had too many beers
And bought a lot of their merch
Including a ceramic mug. So do I I have it. Did you have it? Yeah, it's there's a hair on the microphone
It's so heavy like I don't use it because I'm afraid I'm going to crack it in the dishwasher
Yeah, it's like someone made it in the backyard
But I I love it. Oh, I still have mine. Yeah, I am a merch buyer
We used to do step class at a brewery for an hour
And then if you came to step class you got one free beer
Which clearly after you've worked out really hard and sweat one beer isn't enough and then you stay for the day
And you have a lot of fun with your C fitters. They had a food truck. They had a food truck
Yeah, it was it was a really fun couple times we did that. Carly would bring the kids
I would who doesn't bring your kids to the brewery
You do you boo boo
To be clear
And fair for those of you that maybe are just tuning in because you know we get to see all of Carly's outfits
You do you boo boo is one of our first real tips? Yes. So it's now it's a thing
No, it was our very first. It was the first. Did you just say that?
Kind of yeah, I like how you said it
Let's talk about why Carly's wearing all of this pink. Well, number one
I just took the tags off this dress. I've had it for two years never never have worn it
It's giving mrs. Roper and threes company vibes
And if you know that yes
You know that reference then it's time for you to do skincare routine at night
And take your vitamins and maybe some protein
so
If you don't know that reference threes company of mrs. Roper
Bless you child
This huge
Because you are a child. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm wearing my nice dress. I've never worn it. I took the tags off this morning
But it's because it's our valentine's day
episode. Yes
That's also why that's also why that is also why
But I actually really like it. Yeah, I didn't think I was gonna like it on
I think it was 20 bucks from tj maxx honestly, and I was like, I like it really and I've never worn it because where where do you wear
This you have to go out with your husband. I know
Oh, I know we've talked about this. Yeah, and it's a it's an intention for this year to date your husband
Yeah, well, it's only january. So I'm not that far behind. It's february. Oh
It's oh, I'm sorry january was seven months. I mean, I got it
Uh agreed agreed seven months january was yoda wasn't a full baby
No, but it was close. It was close and it was horrible and it ended horribly
Yay
But february started and now we're here in february. So don't turn it off if you were like, oh, this is about valentine's day
done
It's not gonna be what you think this is not about like, oh, let's talk about our relationships and how happy we are
Not gonna happen first of all, we're gonna start with the game
And then we're gonna get into some how do you approach and navigate valentine's day?
Whether you're with someone or whether you are thriving by yourself right now
All right, but we are gonna start with some fun, but let's get into it. So I am victoria
Hey guys, I'm carly
She's taken fellas
Hey guys, I'm carly
I'm holding up the pen for those that cannot say if you have the pen. I don't think you need to say it. Oh, it's like redundant
Yeah
redundant means
doing it
redundant
I'm not gonna explain it. I'm just gonna say it because I used it correctly and I'm gonna stop it there. You do you
Stop while I'm ahead
Love it. Okay
so
Let me get my handy nanny notebook out that carly has never used I
It's the only pink I will be wearing this season. She's not a pinker
I'm not a pinker. Pinker. She's red hair. It's all natural obviously, but she's not a pink
Thank you. You're welcome
They needed to know that
All right, so we're gonna play a game
You just have to know the answers. Oh great. I love games like this
I am going to ask you 14 questions for the 14 days before valentine's day or a valentine's day
about valentine's day
But before we start I already forgot where how I wanted to start yikes. Do you know the story of valentine's day?
Obviously not does anybody why is that obvious? I mean something about cupid
No, is that not wait. Do you think there's a little flying baby? I was thinking of like greek gods
I just watched hercules last week with the kids
So I feel like I that's a good one. Yeah, it is a good one. Um
No, not cupid not like the roman empire or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think cupid was?
Do I think cupid was real? Well like a little person running around the roman empire that had wings
I don't not think that
Okay, well it is the roman empire. So you were correct
So it was I'm gonna try not to look down, but I wrote it all down so that I would remember
Emperor Claudius II okay banned marriage because he wanted men to go to war
Damn son
Feels like today
Uh, so there was this priest
Who was secretly marrying people?
And he obviously got
Brought to light and was imprisoned in like a torture one of think like a bad empire roman empire
Yeah, the bad the bad kind
I'm thinking like robin hood men and tights the beginning of the movie
Yes, but you mean just like robin hood the beginning of the movie robin hood men and tights was hysterical robin hood was dark
Beginning of the movie and robin hood men and tights. He's in a prison
And they stretched someone's tongue. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that wasn't funny
You're right. You're right. You're right. I'm questioning a lot right now. No, no, no myself. No, you're right. So
Yes in prison whatever
But he falls in love with this mysterious girl and the priest. Yes. Her name is valentine
And it is believed
not fact
That she is the
Prosecutor's daughter. So like it was totally forbidden. Yeah, not allowed
And so he has an execution date and he goes to get executed, you know, like you do
Yeah, and she sends him a love letter and she signs it
From your valentine. So that's where that comes from. Stop it as to why we send valentine to the people that we love
Did he die?
Oh, yeah
Wait, I don't like the story. I don't like the story. I don't like it. Well
Wait, that's it. Is that for real?
I saw that on many different sources
Is it like when mom says she saw something on npr or she heard something on npr? It was really instagram?
Maybe no, no, I saw it from a few different online articles. So just about the
Orientation of valentine's day and how it's not actually
Like a christian thing. Yeah, it's the feast of st. Valentine. So I always thought that's
Like that's how we celebrate it in our 14 15 years of
Catholic grade school. Yeah school. But
That I did hold on I wrote that down too because I was like, wow, I didn't know that
so st. Valentine
was just a clergyman
Who was ministering to the prosecuted or persecuted sorry the persecuted christians
Oh, wow that time and all the yeah, okay, so he was like helping them. So it was just this
This priest that was doing that
And he ends up
Mart becoming a martyr. So he got martyred martyred them martyred. Yeah, you know, you said it, right? All right, thanks
And then they made his feast day the 14th. That is crazy. I did not know any of that
I literally thought it was the Roman Empire and there was a small man
with a bow and arrow
Just shooting people like killing them. I love you. No
Yeah, I don't know what I thought but maybe you know what I have never thought about it
Maybe you know what I have never thought about it. I think we just knew that we got candy faces. Yeah, that's my favorite
I think I have to explain that now that I said it out loud. You do. Uh, Carmela, we'd come down from
sleep
Remar slumber from our slumber in all of our glory and she would make a candy face
Of us particularly. So like Carly and I looked different. Oh, yes
She was actually really good at making them look just like us
Yes, through candy
Twizzlers for like curly hair
Billy sometimes had like a bow tie to be like, you're a boy like the pull and peel
Licorice so that she could do that little candy hearts and then those fake lips that you can eat
You remember that they're like wax basically you're eating wax you'd put put those on sometimes sometimes it was made out of like M&M's
Yes
So like breakfast of champions
Yeah, that was every Valentine's Day and now I do it for my kids and Billy does it for his kids and they
Honestly don't I don't know what they would do if I didn't do that because they love it so much
Carly if you didn't have kids to do that for you would go to moms and be like, where's my face?
Oh, yeah, if oh mom still does it when we walk when I go over to her house on Valentine's Day
She does it for the kids and me. She does me a very small face, but yeah, yes, I should start going
I didn't know that was a tradition. Yeah
So she makes my candy face really small you're all really annoying. All right, we're gonna start the game now. Okay
I hate Valentine's Day
Okay, what are the three colors of Valentine's Day red pink and white?
Yes, I know. I mean this I I know
irrelevant things
I did redundant. So I thought I could use another like you could but you said irrelevant
No, that's not the word. Okay, but we were with you. We're with you. What does wearing blue
on Valentine's mean now think think
Olden days like if you were a woman wearing blue on Valentine's Day, you're taken. No. No, what does it mean?
To let others know that you're ready for a proposal. Oh
Oh my gosh, I should have worn blue for like six years with Andrew
I think you did I did and then you were like listen tomorrow or nothing
And if it's nothing I'm gonna say it until you do it. So it's not really nothing. That's exactly what I did
All right. What does purple you're wearing purple?
I'm taken
Yes, you have accepted a proposal. Okay. Okay. So yes, you are taken the wedding rings just not good enough or the engagement ring wasn't good enough
You got to wear purple and an engagement ring. I
Dive into it. I just got the answer
What does wearing black mean?
I am
You're annoying is what you are black means you're a widow your valentine has died. Oh
Oh, I mean, I'm I'm being legit. That's wrong. You're happily single. Oh my god. No one's dead
Why you have a misconception of black and goth and emo?
I wear black all the time. Okay
Happily single. Okay. How does valentine's day affect mental health?
universally
I mean, I don't think it's great for mental health
Valentine's Day for a lot of people. What is the like leading? What's the leading emotion that's connected to it? Depression
I think people feel bad on valentine's day. You're close heightened levels of loneliness. Yeah, yeah, that's very different
Very different, but very close. So I will give you this little tidbit that I found fascinating
So according to Forbes, there was a study in 2023 that loneliness
Actually can kill you. I mean, did we not learn this over COVID?
Well, yeah, but we did this in our because February is heart month. So we did this last year where
It can your heart can dot like your heart can break. Yes. Um, but it's because loneliness specifically
It's a social isolation and then the lack of social support
Impacts the mental health and the well-being of the person which is obvious, but I think more people than not do not like valentine's day
We're gonna get into it. Wait so close. Okay
According to Bumble
Bumble
What
What do many?
Oh, why do many people break up?
On valentine's day or like right before valentine's day. What's the number one reason?
What's the number one reason to break up because they don't want to be in a relationship? No, no
I didn't it because they don't yeah, but I had an interest over here. Yeah, people can see that now. Um
Because they don't want a commitment
No, no, no give me another shot third time. No, okay, uh because they don't want to get somebody a gift
Save money on a gift. Yeah
What? Yeah, no, I believe that because guys sometimes can be cheap. I would think it was is that why you picked it first?
No
I don't know why
Say, but I just think that's so like if you what if you're
You're really into this person and and you can't talk and be like listen, can we just not do gifts?
You know break up. Yeah, because that means they're really not into the relationship
I mean if you're trying to save money and that's more important than
than your honey
I didn't like that. I said that either
I don't like how you looked at me and said because I knew it was wrong
I feel like you don't want to be in a relationship anyway. So that's like
Yeah, I was just surprised that that was the number one answer. Yeah, I would have thought commitment
Yeah, just especially this day and age commitment. But oh my gosh, Andrew and I broke up three times
But we would have broken up for every single year as we were broke
So about money about money if it was a money thing. Oh my god
Thank god it wasn't
There were other reasons
Moving on
All right, what does the bible say about valentine's day? Oh, it's the devil's work
It's the heathens
All my friends are heathens. Don't you know?
No
I should have taken it
Did you just make that up? No, I use it in stretch class heathens
Stop saying heathens. All my friends are heathens
Take it slow
Okay, the bible says nothing
Nothing technically according to christians
And I say that word with however you want to take the word christian
Their merit to be christian means you are in a
male and female
Marriage right and valentine's day is every day. So valentine's day celebrating on that day. It's a weakness not a strength
But it's not even in the bible the bible talks about love. It has nothing to do like they you know, that's crazy
I just thought that was interesting. I just thought the world should know
mm-hmm
Yeah world. What's the percentage of men who forget about valentine's day? 99.9
less
98.6
In your mouth the mentos commercial
It's hot outside, but it's 98.6 in your mouth
I don't remember that one and after only fans last week that was a little upsetting
So what's the percentage?
41
Okay, 41 forget that's less than I thought 22 percent of women forget
Yeah, I mean
Yeah, it's according to um, it was a poll conducted by one of the largest tech
developing
things
That services all of the dating like apps and and dating services online. Huh, that's interesting. I believe it
Sure, I'll take it couldn't say it. I believe it. Yeah
Okay, we're at 10 of 14. What is the time? What is this time of year known for or known as?
What what is this season the slowest in the world?
No, is it not the slowest in the world? Tied him with valentine's day. Okay
Um
The love season the breakup season. Oh
Yeah, like fall is cuffing season
what
Like getting together cuffing season like so you're cuffed together
Yes, like hand cuffed. No way. That's why Beyonce songs called cuff it
Or is that dirty? Yeah, I have no idea
Surfboard, I don't know. I could be about cuff boards. I'm not sure. No. Cuf it. It's called cuff it then maybe
Oh, it's like maybe that's like the cool way to say single ladies
Or not single ladies because you're cuffing it. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's cuff season. That's cuff season
so this apparently winter into like I would say December is what it said into
February March, it's breakup season
Wow December 11th being the most popular day to break up because they want to save money and not get you a christmas present
Humans are annoying. Yeah
Also, let's all save money and not buy christmas present. No, okay
How many americans
Would like to skip valentine's day or skip valentine's day 99.9
All right, i'm gonna go with 56 close 45 skip
To save money
52 percent say they try to avoid it at all costs no matter what they just hate the holiday
I this is just americans by the way. I think that if andrew had the choice it would just be another day
That's how we're doing it just another day
Mike and phoenix do that too our uncles do that and I never got that
What's up phoenix? What's up phoenix our uncle phoenix? He's younger than me. Love ya
But they don't they just it's just another day because every day should be valentine's day
I said that's a pager we talked about valentine's day and I was like it's every day though
like we we should be celebrating
Tiny little ways of just kindness and yeah buy me stuff
But like no not just because it's valentine's day. Oh, I I consider it like a second wedding
You would
Like you're the reason why hallmark probably does so well. Yes, and i'm the reason that andrew has anxiety
We're gonna talk about that too. Okay
um
Yeah, I don't care. We're going to the movies
On valentine's. Are you singing new fasa? What are you saying? Captain american movie captain america movie?
It's like premiering. Yeah, that big deal
Congrats
And that's like it. Yeah, that's cool
She hates it. She hates it so much. Okay. I don't want to talk about it. What's the platonic valentine called?
the platonic like uh
A friend's day kind of palentine's. Oh, that's cute and it's animal annually
Celebrated on february 13th. Oh, I like that. I would do a palentine's didn't know that though. Yeah, i'm 36
I had no idea there was a thing
same
You're not 36. I know
In my mind. Okay. This one I didn't know because I thought this well
Is valentine's day celebrated?
In america or all across the world all across the world all across the world
I thought it was an american holiday because it was just a hallmark holiday. Yeah, like I thought it was just us
Doing worry capitalism and consumerism and all that but if you're saying it has something to do with
a priest and uh
Before I today I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. No, I didn't know that either but I got the question correct
99 percent
All right last one
Do you know what the 333 rule is to keep yourself out of a situation ship the 333 rule
three dates
Three text messages
three
Throuple
I'll get you out of a situation ship roll fast
We're in one or yeah, what is it you had it right on three dates? I was proud of you and then you went
It took it took it somewhere else text messages like three text message saying like now we're done
Like one of them is no the second one's weird and the third one's done
Okay, three dates you had okay, so three dates is to see if you're even interested like it takes three dates. Yeah
Sometimes you know in three seconds. Yeah, I was gonna say you take 30 seconds you show up and you're like, yeah
Right, but like I think but there was a few that I would be like, I don't I don't know
I'll just try again and it was a waste of time but like
I don't know Pedro I knew in three seconds. Yeah before we even
Yeah into iron Hill you need to say that on camera for everybody to hear Pedro
I don't she knew in three seconds. Okay?
Just in case
You lost this one
He almost had to take it as inhaler. He's watching at least what he said at least what he said and I believe it
I believe it. Okay
Sorry, you guys are so old three aw
three weeks
Is potential in chemistry so in three weeks of
Dating someone or talking to them whatever the terminology is. Okay
You can tell if there's gonna be potential for a future and if you want the potential to turn, you know, you can tell and then three months
Make it official. Oh, okay
Three dates three weeks three months
So if your if your answer is in those time lines just aren't working it's a situation ship get out of it
Right don't waste your time
so I knew in
Let's say three hours
I knew after the third breakup
and
then
It was three
times three till we got married. There we go. There are the threes you waited me wait you waited
He made me wait three times three to get married
We don't know what any of that means
Because none of that is
English normal
Hmm
You're old
Okay, all right
You
I feel like I got 50% or 99.9
Correct. Uh, you lost me in your mouth
You don't remember that commercial
It's or it's cold outside, but it's 98.6 degrees in your mouth because that's your body temperature
And then a mentos would cool off your mouth
I'm gonna need you to find it. I'm gonna find it because all I remember is like mentos the fresh maker. That's all it
Mentos the fresh maker
word for word sponsored by
Mentos if you want your sales to jump because we're stuck in the 90s
Let's go bring it on
Mentos to make a candy face
Yeah, you actually you do. Yeah
All right, so now for the real nitty gritty
To be fair, I told carla just show up today. Yeah, I I'm here in my dress. That's usually what she tells me
And listen, it's like a febe situation
For all my friends people
She's in charge of cups
So if she's in charge of something like this
She she goes all out. I do. Okay. Phoebe brought only the cups the whole apartment was created with cups
If you know what I'm talking about, you know, I'm wearing hot pink earrings
My gown and I showed I did my hair. I showed up today. Show them your feet
Come on kick your foot. Hey
Oh my gosh in the high white top. Yeah, the high white top. I saw it in the screen. I'm a I'm a millennial
I like your tissue. Okay
So how to navigate Valentine's Day, whether you are with a partner or single
And I hate that single is like a negative connotation. It's not a lot of people choose to be
Yes, but that's just this with this down this holiday brings up, which is why it's a loneliness holiday. Okay
so the number one there's five there's five tips to navigate and
They go hand in hand for either situation. So number one is focus on self-care
Whether you're with someone or not with someone
You focus on yourself
And if it's like, well, how do I do that when the whole world is celebrating this?
One, you know holiday that I'm not allowed to be involved with first of all bullshit
You are because it should be a celebration of love
And you've got lots of people in your world that love you and who you love
It doesn't have to be a romantic partner. I saw a meme. I know you guys have been waiting
I saw a meme took a while. I know that said it's called
That said it's called feb you airy y o you
Because this month should be all about you
prioritizing yourself. So we're gonna call it feb
You airy. Well, I thought it was feb
Ruer right. We're gonna take out the r and put a y o you feb you airy. Are you sure?
I like that though. I do like that, but that's what that is focus on self-care. It's make make
Feb um February 14th make it a spot a get yourself a massage book it now, right?
Uh do a hobby that you like read make it a full day of reading
It actually suggested take the day off from work really so that you can do yeah, I'm calling off
Okay, so that you can do you can't because I'm calling off. Oh, right
All right
Uh so that you can do the things that you want to do to take care of yourself and sometimes that's just sitting on the couch
I'm watching a movie or just not going to work. What's the Jessica Alba movie where she celebrates?
um
valentine's day by like
Hating on it and she always goes to this indian restaurant. Yeah. No, I don't know. I don't really I
No, I don't know. My god. I think it's called valentine's day
Right in the comments help me out. I'm pretty sure it's valentine's day. It's actually really funny rom-com
I don't know. I love it. She hates it. She has like a pinata. Everybody's angry, but like this one year everyone's in love with her and no one's
Oh, it's great. Okay
Don't do that
Yeah, that I think that's not what you want to do that but it does say take yourself out to dinner
Order in food that you like to eat like it's you get to decide what kind of day it is is basically what it is
Two do not compare
Oh, yeah, because comparison is the theme of the day
Comparison is the thief of joy. It's the one thing she took from the past two years
And I approve out of all of the things. That's a really good one. No fo mo only jo mo
Yeah, I mean that's what it is. Wait, that's a new merch item coming soon coming soon
Uh, so yeah, don't compare prioritize what?
Matters to you and not what you're seeing on instagram because if you remember and if you have gotten anything from what we say
Social media is fake. I mean everything is every single thing is fake
What?
Everything like just even to the pictures that people post of their kids. They're not happy all the time like everything is fake
I don't trust anything on social media. Right social media. Yes. Yes everything social media. Let me contribute plus everything is fake
But it's true because what's gonna happen that person is gonna post
The amazing gift they were just given which they may have bought themselves to make it look good
Yeah, or yes, they receive that gift, but they're in a really bad relationship. Yeah
So like you have no idea what's behind closed doors or behind the screen
So you can't compare and you can't be like I wish that was happening to me
You're gonna have a miserable day or season or life doing that. So do not compare. Yeah
Go to the movies
Okay, here's here's one plan something special
What if you're with a partner
You're cooking together. You're going to a movie you're
Planning something that you can do together to celebrate
Just the two of you, right? Or if you have a family the family the family thing
You love doing things with the whole family of going you were just talking about going to a basketball game. Yep. Let's rephrase that
I'm not getting the kids a basketball game. If you know me, you know sports
Okay, we're going to the Harlem Globe Trotters even better very different even better
It's one of my favorite pastimes. Oh me too. And the kids have never seen it
So that's my valentine's well our Andrew doesn't know about it yet
But he'll see it on the credit card that I don't know how you function. I don't know how you two work Andrew
Write in the comments. Let us know
But that's like I love doing things as a family
And which Andrew might love to go out to dinner just the two of us more
But we're gonna go to the Harlem Globe Trotters. Yeah, she doesn't care what you want
That's a great part of the relationship
If you are someone that doesn't have a partner
Or a significant other whatever you want to call it
Get your friends
Do the hobby do the special planning with a group of friends or your one best friend and do a game night play games go out
Go to putt putt like pick your fun
But you don't have to do it alone
And if you'd rather do it alone go back to number one focus on self-care
But there are options if you twist it in your brain to make it a positive thing, right? I think that's all
All it is really it's a twist of how you think of things
It's just how you get up in the morning and you say I'm either gonna have a really good day or a bad day
It's your it's really your choice. Just switch your
Put your
Because I went too far
What's the definition shut in down of inside
What's the definition of inside of you is doing the same thing over and over and expecting something different
Number four
This one specifically for our single ladies and our single fellas embrace being single
Which is so easy to say so easy to say because I feel like if I said that to you
When you were single you'd be so mad at me. You'd be like, okay. Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about
You've been single since you were 19
That's exactly what I would have said
I know and like that. Yeah, I would have shut it down
That is hard. That's hard to do
What this what this article said was to use valentine's day as an opportunity to splurge on yourself
Yeah, and it literally said the words treat yourself. I like that not treat yourself
But treat yourself
Beb you arey. So that's what it means by embrace it not be like I'm so happy
I'm so happy I'm single even though I really want companionship and that's all we really need as human beings
Yeah, I want to be with someone. It's okay to want to be with someone
I used to fight that I'd be like, I'm fine. I'm saying I don't why does everybody I don't need anybody
I am why am I single like it makes you feel like
You need someone and it's a bad thing to need someone. It's
I personally don't think it's needing someone. I think it's wanting someone. Yeah
So you have to embrace the fact that you don't need anybody and still want to be in a relationship
So there's there's the juxtaposition there, but treat yourself
Go back to number one focus on self-care splurge. I would book a Joseph Anthony spa if I didn't have to go to work
I would book a massage. Yeah
I I don't like massages. So I would go shopping
Costs about the same. Yeah, actually
Well depends on Carly. Yep costs more. Yeah, Carly costs a lot more
Just Brian McKnight that and go back to one
One, you're like a dream come true
two
You'd like to dream with you
We don't like to follow the steps
That you're the only one for me and four
Okay, repeat steps one two
Three five. Thank you fall in love with me. We're done. It's over
Everyone's breaking up with you
number five and last one because god knows it's time
We're circling back to what Carly said earlier about
Being annoyed or disappointed or frustrated with Andrew on Valentine's Day every year and then also when she said but he doesn't know about it
These these two things those very good examples that she didn't know she was giving
Yes, I contributed today communicate expectations
No, that just came out that just like came out of my gut. I don't remember doing that
I don't remember
Let's ask Justin
Um, yeah, I am not I just okay. I've talked about this with somebody else recently
Sarah, what's up?
We expect them to just know what we want horrible advice
But like when you've been with somebody for 20 years
You just figure like every year if we've thought about it last year like you figured out this year
And then that's insanity because it's been going on for 20 great
So why don't you change it and and lay out the expectation because then that that takes away from
The I the surprise and the like you thought of me. Thank you
Instead of me having to think about myself to tell you to think about me
Are you talking about a gift? Are you talking about?
A situation like a thank you. I've been wanting you to do that for so long
To blow my nose she wiped her nose and I I'm so happy. Sorry. Um, no like not even a gift because I don't even think about a gift
I like to do things so like just the fact that he would be like, hey
I made reservations at this place for this time
That's happened many times and carly cancels them for being tired or something about the kids
So try again. Okay. Um, I expect him
It comes down to I expect him to just know
And then when he doesn't I get disappointed
And then we do it again next year, but at the same token he got you a rowing machine for Christmas that you were very very mad at
Yeah, I was not happy. Love it. I do love it. So he does know you very well and you just don't like
The way he loves you
No, that's not it. I think you need no, this is legit. I think you need
Love in a different way that he shows it. He shows it. Um
What's it called like very
Directed like he's like you love to work out
I'm gonna get you a rowing machine because you love to work out and it's cold and I want you to stop running
So I'm gonna get you this rowing machine, but I like it. That sounds great. I know it sounds fantastic. Thank you
I love the
romantic
Like you know what I mean like I'm not a jewelry person. I don't want diamonds
He did give me a diamond one year and I was like, uh, he's giving her a ruby. He's giving her all things
She's like, I don't wear this. I don't want this. You're very difficult. No, he's very um
Specific and there's no subtlety. I think I want more of the like romantic
subtleties not the right word the
Grand gesture. Thank you. Not so much that you love this. So I'm gonna get this for you
Which is the little things in life
Which is usually the opposite
Of what will survive a marriage?
Andrew hear it. Okay here and now here and now. I promise you
Faithfully, I don't know the words in between
We don't expect you to
Yeah, because we
Grand gesture
Andrew
She ones are great. Who knows what the heck that means. No, I just I think it wanted to be more romantic
More romantic for a thousand roses. No, I hate flowers
I hate flowers
Um, tell them right now. What do you want? Tell them? I I just want to be thought of
Like I planned this for us
We're gonna go to new york for the night if he does that you can't cancel it for whatever reason you're going to cancel it
So he does these things
Andrew, I got your back
I have your back
He does these things for Christmas
For birthday. You told us that we needed to stop making plans because when we make plans you have to cover for me
Nobody listens to me. I think that's ever been a thought. Don't try to blame this on me
He got reservations to one of the most
exclusive restaurants in philadelphia
And she was tired. No, I was tired like
I was I
I mean, I wanted to enjoy it and I knew I wouldn't enjoy it because I was
Exhausted and I knew it took him six months to get the reservation
We're gonna go. We're gonna go. What a grand gesture
six months ahead
I I don't know what I want
I want to get dressed up and go to a show. That's what I want
I want to get dressed and go to a show. I want to get I don't I but I also love the rower
Here's the thing
Here and now
I promise you
Something faithfully. I'm not talking fast enough to make it not happen and I apologize that to that for everybody
You cannot cancel the grand gesture if it were to present itself like you can't decide
It's not the right grand gesture. I that's my problem
That's what it is. Yeah, he's grand gestures all the time. He grand gestures all over the place
Everyone's holding their breath
I'm so upset. I'm so upset
Um, but but he does he he and he has present anxiety
You've given that to him. Yeah, he hates holidays because he always thinks he's going to not
He's gonna live up to your expectations because Carly's always disappointed. Yeah
And guess who the problem is?
Victoria
Because she doesn't let Andrew in on what I want
Okay, to be fair Carly writes an email listing the links of where he can buy stuff and he still doesn't do that
So that's really not my problem. My problem is how I can't fix you
Because he does give you grand gestures and you reject them
I'm working on lowering my expectations. You don't have to lower. I'm so upset. I'm like angry
I'm just trying to smile through it
You don't have to lower your expectations if you communicate them
Was that was that how this started to go back
If you're in a relationship, you have to discuss what you want to avoid disappointment
It's not that hard. Hey Andrew
Valentine's Day coming up. You should probably start thinking about it
I would really be interested if you plan something like this. I don't know what that can be the surprise
That's on you. But like this is something that I'm kind of looking forward to
That wink hint sounds like a fantastic conversation direct
Yeah, and then you won't be disappointed, but you still will no I won't I won't
I just I think because I'm such a great gift giver and I'm so thoughtful
And I think about it for months ahead of time. I think I just want it in return like I thought of you
ahead of time ahead of time. Yeah, I agree
I get that. Yeah, but then when he does think even if it's last minute and he thinks about you and he gets you the big grand gesture
You're like
No
Didn't do it six months ago
He's like I can't win. I sound worse than I am
I sound bad, but I'm really
easy
I am just give me bravo and
Um, let let's get dressed up a couple times a month and I am good to go and you know, take me out. I like shows
Um, you're gonna bring the kids you you ruin it every time
I am because I want to see this show and I'm thinking about getting it for
Valentine's Day and our anniversary, but I want the kids come we're gonna have an episode on how not to lose yourself
Once you have a family and like lose yourself
Keep your marriage a marriage and not just we're raising other little humans
In the same household lose yourself name that song I can't
Oh, I don't think that's how it goes. Oh
In the moment
M&M
Doesn't go lose yourself
Sorry, I watched the Grammys the other night and I think that I am like
Did you watch the Grammys? No, I watched the Grammys the Grammys and Manny Yonk
I'm coming back to what we're actually talking about. Okay
I'm not communicating expectations when you're single. Okay. Uh, this wasn't actually in the article. I'm adding this because I was
and have been single
a lot
Express to your family and friends
To leave you the eff alone
But like it that's so true
We talked about how like the number one question not to ask people on the holidays
Is like about their love life or whatever
Valentine's Day is not the the pass for the people that are in your circle to like
Pwn in on your single life, right? Whether it's just fascinated by it or questions or housed online dating
just don't
so like if you're single express that now hey guys
I'm good. Don't need to check in on me
or
Don't ask me any questions like however you want to do it. I'm not going to give you all the options
But you have to express that communicate that expectation so that when it happens or if it happens without you saying it
You can't get upset because you didn't tell them to like no to back off. Yeah
I think what's really cool nowadays that they didn't have I feel like when I was in my early 20s was like a gallantines was not popular
It just wasn't popular and now every business has has a gallantines every
restaurant has like
An event and I think that's so cool. It's like sex in the city grab four of your friends and go
I think it was cosmos then now it's espresso martinis and just
Go and have a gallantines with your friends. Yeah, you know, I like that. No, it wasn't popular. No, it wasn't
It wasn't you're right
I'm just a little extra all the time
Yeah, that's the point. That's how this works so well. I like to do a gallantines though. I like to get dressed. We don't have time
Okay, I'm tired. You're tired. You've got kids. Andrew can't even take you out. Yeah, okay
Yeah, I'm not don't invite me because I'm not gonna go and I'll say yes, and then I'll cancel last minute
And you will have anxiety the entire month. I will
Planning yep, I will don't invite me. I I spoke too soon
I don't think anybody was to be fair
To be really fair
I don't think anyone was yeah, everyone just heard how you expect things. Yeah, everyone's afraid of you
Everyone's afraid of you
I'm not
No, she's not
Nope, so yeah, that's how you approach and navigate valentine's day
Uh
Basically you do you boo boo. Yeah that that's it. I think that tip from episode one will take you
I mean, it's such a good motto to live by
That's cute. Yeah
You know, I think I made it up, but
Yeah, yeah, I did pretty sure. Um, but it is just do whatever makes you happy
Whether that is just hanging out by yourself watching bravo
Or going out on the town or you know appreciate the things that people do for you
And give you
You do or don't exchange gifts. Yeah, or don't yeah, if that's not your thing. Don't do it
You don't hardly but that wasn't an option for you. Was it no god? No must have gifts god. No. No, that's never an option
Um, I love gifts on st. Patrick's day. I mean, I love gifts on Easter. I like giving them
I mean, I like I like receiving I like receiving them. Okay, gross, but I
That's how I meant it
What's wrong with you? I don't know Andrew. She needs to get taken out on a date
she is
um
No, I like giving them like I like the anticipation
Like I have something that I'm going to be giving. Yeah, not necessarily if you're bound to say if you're watching
Don't worry about it, but I can't wait to give it. I know I'm so excited
We love we love giving gifts and I I do love that as well, but
I'm also I like to do what I want and staying in bed watching bravo all night and getting in bed at 5 45
Sounds like a great night as well
Also sounds like something you won't do because once you get into that bed, you're gonna call all of your children
And you're going to bring them into your bed as well
And then the whole gift he gave you of getting the kids out of the house giving you this alone time
You're not gonna know what to do with it lose yourself
Lose yourself in the moon. It's not lose yourself
It's done at the moment. You never never let it go. You only get one shot
Do not miss the chance to blow because opportunity comes once it's a lifetime do it you know
Was I doing good until then do it
Just call me eight mile just call that's my new nickname eight mile
Just call me eight mile
Did I sing it right
Yes, I know okay. Yes and no tissue
We this has got to stop
Oh my gosh, that was amazing. I was so with you and then you said do it
Because I think they do I think he M&M says that
You only get one shot do not miss the chance to blow because opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better
Lose yourself in
Do it
He's a smoker. You need to end this you need to end me someone needs to end it
Oh
all right
well
Lest we've forgotten
The merch
There you go. You're ready. Yeah, it's really really cool
So keep keep checking in because again, they've worked really hard on it and it's really cool
And you're all our valentines because valentines is not just romantic. It's just spreading the love and
You know making the world go around because that's really all it takes
All right, so just remember
That you are fit to be real and always allowed to be a little extra
Do it
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For all of your health wellness fitness and self-care needs
Please refer to the medical professional in your life your primary care physician your therapist a certified coach
Whoever it may be and then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know it, too
Okay
Okay, bye