Welcome to Fit to Be Real and a little extra.
Happy Thanksgiving, League.
I am so excited.
This is the beginning of my happy time.
You love Thanksgiving.
Like you are, this is our tradition.
This is what we do.
Don't mess with it.
Well, that's like how you are with everything.
Yeah, you're so fun.
But you're already decorated for Christmas.
Oh, heck yeah.
So like you love this holiday,
but you're overshadowing it at the same time.
Well, I've never decorated before Thanksgiving ever,
ever, ever, ever.
I always do it the day after Thanksgiving.
Except for last year.
Well, I-
Correct.
We had dessert at your house without you.
And there were gingerbread standing little men everywhere.
And they're still, they're back up.
Okay, good.
I do it when I feel like the year
that I've had needs more joy.
And I think you were going away.
So, great.
And I wanted to come back to a Christmas house
because I went to my in-laws for Thanksgiving last year.
I never get my tree until the Sunday after Thanksgiving.
I also feel like Thanksgiving is very late this year.
So we're getting-
It is late.
One less week to celebrate Christmas.
So I feel like I deserve one extra week.
So I definitely-
Oh, that's a good reminder.
And I don't care who knows it.
I see, I don't think it's a big deal.
If you want to do what you want to do, great.
People that put their nose up to it,
I'm talking right to you.
You can over yourself.
But I do know that you love Thanksgiving.
So-
I do.
Because of the tradition,
like it's like the snowball to the rest of the season.
Into the holiday season, yeah.
The elves come and I am not a,
what you call a tradwife by any means.
A what?
A tradwife.
What's a tradwife?
Are you not up on the TikTok?
Did you just ask me that question?
A tradwife is a traditional wife
who it's this big trend right now
with women basically cooking and cleaning
and taking care of the kids
and making sure everything's perfect for the man.
And they're very traditional
and they call themselves tradwives.
Well, maybe that's why we've gone back in time
with our government.
That's exactly why.
So why are we glorifying this?
No, because it's a trend on TikTok.
I mean, I don't know the details,
but I don't think it's like, I want to be one.
It's just that there are these women out there
and they're young and they're influencers.
So here's the thing with all you young people.
Tradwives on Instagram and TikTok,
they're all young and they're influencers.
I like that you just said that twice.
Exactly this thing.
Cause I'm old and I need things repeated.
Yeah.
So as traditional as their values are,
they've got their phone right in front of them
with their ring light camera.
And they're like, but watch me make this bread from scratch.
But I'm like, but if you're really back
in the traditional days, you didn't have a ring light
and an iPhone capturing these moments.
So whatever.
And who knows what they're like when the phone turns off?
Well, they dress like traditionally.
What is traditional dress mean?
It's like old school.
Sort of.
Yeah.
That's a, oh.
I like the idea of none of that.
Cause I am not traditional at all.
Andrew makes the mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving.
And as he should.
I watch from the couch.
As he should.
As you should watching the parade.
So in saying all that, I am not that at all,
but I like the traditional Thanksgiving goes into Christmas
and all that comes along with that.
Yeah.
I'm gonna bypass all of that.
I'm like, so I'm kind of upset right now.
But real quick, Harley loves the parade.
My favorite day of the year.
I read that this year is the first year in history
that Minnie Mouse will have a balloon.
What?
Yeah.
No way.
Yeah.
It's like a big deal.
So check her out in a couple of days.
I, one of my favorite things to do is wake up
in Christmas pajamas, go downstairs,
have 97 cups of coffee and flip between the Philadelphia
Thanksgiving Day Parade and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day
Parade, seeing all the Broadway shows.
I never ever wanna be there live in person ever.
I wanna watch from the comfort of my warm house.
That's horrible.
With all my coffee.
And it is my absolute favorite time.
That's nice because usually we're cooking
and everybody's slaving over like ridiculous,
multiple dishes they have to bring.
And Carly's like, what?
Like it's hard.
That's why I am not a trad wife.
I would be in my condo.
I would be, if you remember,
it wasn't an open concept like kitchen headed wall.
Right, right.
So you couldn't see my living room TV
and I'd be like making something
and then I'd run out and try to look at the parade
and then I'd be like, oh no, no, something's burning
and I'd go back and Carly's just sipping on
hot chocolate with her children.
That's exactly right.
However, we get up super early, go teach class,
work out really hard at boot camp
and then come back and watch the parade.
So there's that.
Yeah, I do that too.
I know I said we, yeah.
And then I make a bunch of crap.
Anyway, we digress.
We said we weren't gonna talk about a lot, but we are.
So basically when this comes out,
it's Monday of Thanksgiving week.
We're very excited about it.
I just did all my Thanksgiving shopping today.
You did?
Yeah, for the things that I have to make.
Andrew will go do that for you.
No, that's the thing.
I, we're gonna talk about it today,
but I do all of that and I put it in the kitchen
and I, yeah, the shopping, not the shopping,
but I thought you said shopping.
I was like, no, no, no, no, I don't touch knives.
I don't do math.
I don't touch knives.
I do all of the shopping and I put it in the kitchen
and I say, have at it.
I'll be in watching the parade.
Yeah, that's nice.
Thanks.
I'm happy for you.
I'm really delighted.
So in the spirit of Thanksgiving,
we are gonna talk about Thanksgiving
in two different ways.
We're gonna start about, if you are hosting Thanksgiving
we're Friendsgiving, because that's also a big feat.
I wanna talk about that later too, but go ahead.
She's better, she doesn't have any friends.
That's exactly what I wanna talk about.
Is it really?
It's sort of.
Amazing.
So Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving,
or basically, you know, you could kind of put this
into any holiday or big meal of gathering.
Yeah, gatherings, yeah.
You can do it for Christmas.
Thanksgiving is here.
So that's how we're gonna map it out.
And the step by step and week by week
is to make it an organizational plan
to make it less stressful and smooth,
which I think is fascinating.
And then also, we're gonna list off some things
that you should just like avoid talking about it,
Thanksgiving.
Yes.
Do not talk to people about these things,
or you will ruin your holiday.
No, do not talk to people.
Or you will ruin your holiday.
I would love to for, it's not for Christmases.
Oh, yeah.
But that's a really stressful time.
It's when they were gonna go away.
Yes.
And then they're playing Godcancel.
I would like to do the go away part for one holiday.
That would be fine because we'd all come with you.
No, that's the point is that I'm going by myself.
You can go the day after Christmas.
That's fine.
No, I don't live by your rules.
Last week you told me I was allowed to move.
Let's get into it.
I'm Victoria.
Hey guys.
I'm Victoria.
Guys, I'm Carly.
And if anybody wants to come save me
from this cage that I'm in.
You didn't give me a breath to laugh.
Sure didn't.
Nobody has time for that.
Okay.
It's Thanksgiving.
I just picture mom stressing out the day of.
100%.
In the kitchen, everything gets done.
But it's like high stress, high energy,
hurry up, make the table clean.
You're on this chore.
You're on that, which I think is always gonna happen,
especially when you have kids.
Like they have to do their stuff and you have to delegate.
But I just, I can picture mom,
like the cartoon of like soft pans boiling and bubbling over.
And the stove might be smoking.
Oh my God.
Yes.
How many times has she burnt the sausage and meatballs?
Yes, we have that on Thanksgiving too.
So many times.
Oh, I forgot to turn the stove off.
Or if she forgot the, like she'll cut the bread
so early in the day to make sure that God's on the list,
she'll put it in the refrigerator,
the cut like French baguette,
and then forget to put it on the table.
Or the black olives at Christmas.
Like we like to put scallions and black olives
in their own dishes so you can just pick on them.
Well, Billy would pick on them
before everybody would come over and they'd be gone.
I would join in on that.
So I can't make fun of him for that.
But if she would forget them,
remember the year she threw olives at us?
Yes.
We sat at the table and she was like,
I forgot the olives.
So instead of just putting them on the table
when dessert was being served,
she just threw them at all of us.
Well, I think she had had a cup or two of Sambuca
before she did that.
Her drink of choice.
And what you shouldn't do,
we're getting ahead of ourselves,
is not eat all day, go crazy with no sleep all week,
and then drink Sambuca.
Don't do that.
Or do do that, do do that,
if you wanna have some fun.
Quote the word fun.
All right, so one month before Thanksgiving.
So you're already late.
If you're like, cool, this is gonna help me.
I'm gonna start now.
You're a little late, but you can still catch up.
Okay, so it says one month, finalize your guest list.
Make sure you know who's coming to Thanksgiving.
So you can make the right amount of food
and set the right amount of plates
and do all the things.
Here's my thing.
I've never made the right amount of food ever in my life.
Well, you're not making it, we hear.
Yeah, that's true.
And it's so you can play on your menu.
And the way that we do it is we ask other people
to bring stuff, like everybody brings a dish.
You have to.
Well, when the parties are that big.
When you have a lot of people at your table,
I think we have upwards of 40.
We have 57.
This Thanksgiving.
57.
All the reason I should go away.
You don't need two more people.
I could go on a tropical weekend vacation.
No, we have nobody to make fun of at dinner.
And you, oh please, I am the least of the worries.
So, month before, finalize your guest list,
plan the menu, right?
The way we do it, delegate who's gonna bring what.
We have a lovely spreadsheet.
I was gonna say, spreadsheets are your friend.
Unless anybody else is technologically declined
and can't get into the Google.
Shut up, are you talking about me?
No.
90% of us was like, someone add me.
Cause I can't get in.
I did it too.
I was like, I can't figure it out.
Yeah, I texted Julie, our cousin was like,
can you add mashed potatoes for me?
And then I said, no, you took mashed potatoes
and an appetizer and a dessert.
And I said, Joel, can you take Carly off of the dessert?
Add me as the dessert.
Add me to an appetizer.
Anyway, then when you hit your three week mark.
Say it again, say it again.
I can't, three week mark before Thanksgiving,
take inventory of your kitchen
and what you need, what you already have.
Yeah, that's in the pantry and all the things.
And just one of his biggest pet peeves with me
is when I go out for the mashed potatoes
and I buy a ton of garlic and he's like,
we have a ton of garlic and you just bought more garlic.
Like I don't do that before.
So I need to do that, save some money.
Oh my God, take inventory, yes.
Especially since even spices are like $2 a spice, right?
Oh, more than that.
It's insane.
So you have to take inventory of what you already have
because you don't need to buy more.
You're making one dish.
Let's pretend everyone's doing it the way that we do
and you bring one or two dishes to the event.
You don't need like four extra garlic powders.
I know, or like you need a teaspoon of salt,
but then you go out and buy a whole thing of salt
but you have salt at home.
You have like four.
But in your mind, you're like, oh, but I need salt
because you didn't do the thing.
But that also goes into inventory of like your dishes.
Make sure you have your casserole dish
that you're gonna bring your sweet potatoes in
or whatever it is.
And if you're making the whole meal
because you have a small dinner
or you're like freaking amazing Martha Stewart
and you're making dinner for 40 people,
make sure you have all your dishware.
Like something might have broken last year.
You don't remember.
So do the inventory.
Mom used to put out all her China a week ahead of time
and her tables, like the, what do they call it?
Folding tables, cause we always had to add folding tables
and chairs and she would put that out a week ahead of time
with the tablecloths and lined up her China serving dishes.
Which is awesome cause we had to like shimmy by
as three children running around.
We were like, run, run, run, run, hold on.
In the kitchen, run, run, run, run.
Okay, so once you've made your inventory of your pantry
and your refrigerator and all of your dishware,
order your turkey.
This is the three week before.
Order the turkey. Three weeks, really?
It says, yeah.
You can buy or whatever, redeem your turkey
at the grocery store if you do the points that like giant.
Yeah, they keep asking me if I want my free turkey.
But that started three weeks ago.
Like you could have done that two weeks ago, excuse me.
They start that process.
But I use mom's number and dad's number
when I put in like my giant bonus card points.
So technically it's their free turkeys.
You know, mom just gave it to Vicky
cause Vicky makes the turkey.
So it helped, you helped.
Okay, good.
And then when it comes to the turkey,
if you are in charge of making the turkey,
you have to, I think this is brilliant.
The pro tip, I've never made it, yeah.
Yeah, measure your stove or your oven.
Yeah, because what if it's too big?
Yeah, that's what happened on New Girl.
Then they put it in the laundry.
Oh my God, yes.
They put it in the dryer
cause they were trying to defrost it
and they couldn't fit it in the oven.
So you have to measure your oven
for the amount of turkey that you need
because they are huge.
I just decided I'm creating a tradition
and I want, I'm gonna create a tread.
And, okay, a tradition.
No.
I think everybody, cause that episode
just made me laugh out loud
because I remembered how funny it was.
Everyone needs to find all of their favorite shows
and watch the Thanksgiving episode
like binge watch in a row.
Ooh, that's a really good,
real extra tip you didn't wait for.
Sorry.
I was so excited.
Cue for the music.
Cool, real extra tip.
Like friends, New Girl, modern family,
just like back to back Thanksgiving day episodes.
How fun would that be?
That actually, cause they're all funny.
They're hysterical.
Friends, he has the turkey on his head
or Monica has the turkey on his head and gets stuck.
Or like the football game that they play.
Yes.
You guys, we're doing it.
We're gonna start a tread edition.
I bet you somebody already did that.
What?
On YouTube.
We acquired all the best scenes.
I just thought of it.
Oh yeah.
Okay.
All right, so one to two weeks before Thanksgiving.
So it's kind of like, you know, we're there.
Decide how you wanna set your table up and the house,
which this one seems like hit or miss
because like Carly, you could already be ready for Christmas
or you're not a decorator or whatever.
But like how you wanna set your table,
that's important when you're having a bunch of people
sit down and sit down.
It's super important.
Your friend, Victoria's friend, Jeremy came over.
What's up Jeremy?
He lives in France.
And he came over for Thanksgiving one year.
Well, he took one look at my China sets,
which were like half China, half Walmart, half,
whatever, I just got married like two years before.
He came in and he's like,
oh, so this is an unmatched Thanksgiving.
We're gonna make this not match.
And he went and he made it as nice as he possibly could.
Well, I unmatched dishware.
You had all the dishes like,
see one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.
Oh, I ran out.
All right, at a new set that mom brought over,
11, 12, 13, 15, and he just mixed and matched them.
So it was like retro vintage, not cliche,
no, but like chic.
Sheik, yeah.
Oh, he went through my dishware and he was like,
oh no, no, no, we're gonna fix this.
He also organized mom's spice cabinet
because he was like, oh no, no, no.
Find yourself a Jeremy, everybody.
Yeah, that's not on the list, but that's another pro tip.
But it makes it so much better
because the table looks so pretty.
There is something about the table looking nice
before everybody sits down and you're like, oh wow.
Like I actually enjoy that.
Yeah.
Clean your refrigerator and your freezer out.
So the old food that's in the back of Carly's refrigerator
that has mold like the fruit, we talk about it a lot
because it, she still hasn't done it.
Get rid of that because you're about to have dishes
that you're gonna make and then wait to put on the table
and you have to put them somewhere.
You're about to have leftovers.
And guess what?
Those frozen bananas that are in the freezer
that you've been saving to make banana bread,
you're never making the banana bread.
And they go bad.
Throw them out.
They don't just like thrive in there.
They get frostbitten.
Throw those bananas out, melody.
God. Buy your wine and liquor
and do it the way Carly does it.
Yeah.
Oh, you go to Delaware.
There it's tax free.
Are you allowed to say that?
I'm allowed to say that.
And I'm, but I don't think it's secret.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I think everyone knows.
Is that Delaware's tax free?
Yeah.
So what we used to do, which was like a really fun tradition.
I'm gonna hurt you.
I know, I just can't not say it now.
As we'd go to Total Wine in Delaware,
we would stock up for the holiday season,
Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I mean, one stop shop there, you get all your alcohol.
And then you'd go to the Christmas tree shop,
which is no longer.
Rest in peace.
All right, pay.
So now we just go to the liquor store
and that's our tradition.
But it's half the price as if you last minute shop
at the liquor store here.
Sorry if anybody owns a liquor store in Delco,
but it is half the price.
So if you're buying in bulk, make the trip to Delaware.
It's totally worth it.
I miss Christmas tree shops so much.
I know.
All of my nutcrackers are holding seashells
because I got them in July.
Cause you got them in July, but there's a new store.
It's not new.
We're just new to it.
It's called At Home.
We haven't been there yet.
It's at the Granite Run Mall
for those of you in the area.
And it is bomb.
Oh God, there's so many.
There's so many behaviors that I just can't stand.
I texted Victoria after I left the store the other day.
This is how cool I am.
And I said, Victoria, I just went ham at that store.
I ignored that.
I don't know if you noticed that.
Okay.
So now we're at the weekend before Thanksgiving.
And this is when you want to start cleaning the house.
Like the weekend before.
So Thanksgiving's on Thursday.
Start Saturday, Sunday.
So that your Wednesday is not a cluster.
Like we used to grow up in as like, you need a dust.
You need a vacuum.
Here's your list.
And then we just turn on Michael Jackson and ignore mom.
Basically.
So clean the house, do the laundry for the linens
and like the table that you have forgotten
because you only use them once a year, whatever it is,
do all of that stuff.
And then when you're done the cleaning,
so let's say you're perfect at this
and you got it done Saturday, Sunday,
and you've made it to Monday
and there's some little things left,
but like the cleaning part is over,
then make your list for the day of.
Like organize, I'm getting up at this time
and I'm going to start on this dish.
Or I have to start the oven to put the turkey in.
I know.
Whatever it is.
It's a process.
You could also do it, Arian Vicky does,
and our turkey arrives in four different crockpops.
Yes.
Like it's already cut.
She has crockpot cooked it.
And it's kind of amazing.
Yeah.
I don't eat turkey anymore,
but it's very like juicy because it's a crockpot.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Now we're at the Monday before, just like we said.
Now you've made your list and whatever,
but defrost the turkey.
Oh my God.
It's happened to us before.
Defrost it.
Start that process because if you got it three weeks before,
you ordered it three weeks before,
you got it two weeks after that.
You better have kept it frozen or else gross.
So you have to start the defrost process.
This, we're reading from a list of somebody
who's already curated this checklist,
and this one says print your menus.
Aw.
This is a fancy Thanksgiving.
We don't print menus.
You get what you get and you don't get upset.
But label your dishes on this Monday before
and label maybe where you want people to sit
if this is to sit down.
Right.
Our 57 people, I guarantee you, we don't do a sit down.
We do a buffet style,
but the labeling can also be used for the food.
Like, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
You have your dishes.
Oh, I thought you meant like name plates.
Like where?
This is a plate.
This is a four.
But also if there's people like Victoria
who are dairy free, who don't eat meat,
always label your dishes because we do have family,
not in our immediate family that are vegan.
So they need to know what's in it.
You don't want them to be like,
is this, is this, is this, what's in here?
Just label it.
But also if you're dairy free or vegan,
like know your shit.
Just know you can't eat turkey.
Okay.
And like mac and cheese is probably a no.
You know what I mean.
But if you're gluten free, if you have CLAX,
like label your stuff, it just benefits everybody.
And then you don't have to like walk around
and asking people like, hey, what's in this?
Can I eat this?
I would never do that.
I wasn't a big turkey eater anyway.
I never filled my plate with that.
I went for the hard stuff, you know?
Yeah.
Turkey was not my go-to.
I like the, even when I ate it.
I like the turkey.
Okay.
The Tuesday before Thanksgiving.
So we're hit Monday, we're now at Tuesday.
Now is when you start shopping.
Shop for the perishable stuff.
The chicken stocks.
The, what else is perishable?
The crackers.
Yeah.
For appetizers, the whatever.
Yeah.
Whatever you're buying that is not fresh
that can keep.
I would probably buy my fresh stuff on Tuesday as well,
but you know, whatever.
If you are a floral decorator, this is when you should buy,
what?
I'm just kidding.
I just, I'm not a flowers person.
You're annoying.
This is when you should buy your flowers.
They will keep by Thursday.
They will still look fresh.
And then you don't have to do that trip
like the day before Thanksgiving.
Fresh to death.
All right, we've made it to Wednesday.
We've made it to the day before.
Yes.
Start your prepping.
Do your chopping.
Do your organization.
Carly is tuning out because you said, you said do stuff.
So yeah.
Oh my God.
Sorry, you're chopping.
Okay.
Set the table.
Do all that.
I like that.
Because we've cleaned already.
Yeah.
So we're ready to set the table.
Here's the important, this is what Carly would do.
Refrigerate wine or champagne.
I just put it outside in buckets at this point.
Set, yeah, right?
Carly's like, oh, the refrigerator is Mother Earth.
My bar is outside.
So that's where everything goes.
All right, and now we're at Thursday.
Start your engines.
Do the cooking.
And if you are anything like our mom or me,
or you are our mom, you've seen those reels
that are like, nobody gets SHIT done better or faster
than a mom who's about to have people over for dinner.
That's true.
That's so true.
I also just realized that I said perishable items
and then started listing non-perishable items.
I wasn't going to-
Why?
What a horrible person you are.
Carly is like, you have stuff in your teeth,
but I'm not gonna tell you about it.
No, you said perishable.
Oh my God.
And then you said crackers,
and then in my mind I was thinking,
oh, crackers are perishable?
And then I was thinking, cheese.
But then I was like, we bypassed that.
So then the fact that anyone's listening to us
is beyond me.
I just had like a five minute delay.
So buy all your items on that day.
Anyway, you've made it to Thanksgiving.
You just have to do the cooking.
You're prepared, your stress is definitely less.
You might still have it
because you have to do the cooking,
but it's not as bad as if you waited until like the day
or the day before Wednesday to get ready for Thursday.
So there is a checklist.
If you are like what we've talked about,
you started a month ago, so good for you.
If not, there's still time.
There is.
There's still time.
You're not a hopeless cause yet.
We are.
We are, but you are not.
So even if you just start preparing today,
you'll be okay, or you'll be better than you were
if you started Thursday morning.
Yeah.
Happy Thanksgiving.
All right, now for the fun stuff.
Right, we got the checklist off.
But now the things you're not supposed to talk about
or should just avoid at all costs with your family,
extended family, immediate family, friends,
whoever is invited to your holiday meal.
I love when people are invited to our holiday meal.
I get well.
All right.
So if you gossip basically,
if there's family gossip, if someone had a fight,
if something has come out that everybody
has low key found out about,
or maybe you're the only one that found out about it
and you wanna talk about it, don't.
Don't.
Just don't.
Don't.
It's not worth it.
What you think of the current president,
keep politics out of Thanksgiving, especially this year.
If you've never done it before
and your family's been okay with talking politics,
just avoid it this year.
Just don't do it.
There's nothing else to be said about it.
Same goes for religion.
If you're starting something new,
if you think someone else is starting a new religion
or an atheist or whatever,
I just think it's not the time, right?
Because what comes from that is like debating
and like someone wanting you to see their opinion
or their belief.
And then it's a debate on belief systems.
But now you've turned this like nice meal
of just catching up with people and watching football
or watching the parade and talking about random fun thing.
Now it's become this like,
I have to land on my stance and I,
you need to hear me and all that stuff.
I need to say my piece,
which is that goes along with the next one,
which is like talking about politics and gun control
and your thoughts on this and what are your thoughts?
Well, it's all nice in theory
to get people's different opinions.
It never ends well with alcohol,
a full belly and different opinions.
Just stay away from it.
And even if you're like,
well, I think people should discuss stuff like gun control
and different things like that, not the time.
It's, hey, if your family are like debaters
and that's what you enjoy, we're not talking to you.
Yeah, but if you know that there's a divide
or could be some sort of difference in opinion and belief,
which is completely allowed,
why bring up the opportunity
to not know how to agree to disagree?
Right.
And I think on a lot of these things,
it's very hard to agree to disagree.
I think the other person just wants,
like what you said, to get their opinion said
and not really listen.
I don't think Thanksgiving or Christmas
is a time when people are listening.
I think it's more of like, stakes are high.
Yes, that's a better way to say it.
Ooh.
This one's good, I'm glad it landed on me.
Hmm.
Don't talk about all your children's amazing accomplishments.
I mean, how the years been going
and how great your freaking kids are.
I'm kidding, I love all of you.
I love all your children.
I think they're fascinating, but I don't know.
Yeah, look, I'm an advocate for that as well.
I get it.
And a lot of people's families,
they don't see each other often, ours does.
So technically or...
We have nothing to talk about.
Like you saw my kid yesterday,
they were amazing yesterday,
they're just as amazing today.
You don't need to talk about it.
Yeah.
But they're, you know, it's...
We talked about it once and someone came up to me,
Maggie, what's up Maggie?
And she was like, Victoria,
I will go out with you happily
because you said you don't go out
and you don't have anybody to go out with.
So I will go out with you.
Also, I won't talk about my kids.
And I was like, well, like, Maggie, you listen.
You're amazing.
I don't, I go out with Victoria and I'm like,
oh my God, guess what Dean said today?
Yeah, but it's so funny.
Oh, ooh.
I am a big advocate for this one.
Don't talk about weight.
We specifically don't like it
because it reminds us of work.
We don't like talk about work,
just like at parties when people come up
and they're like, what's on your plate?
What are you eating?
It's like one of the biggest things you don't wanna say
just cause we're like, oh, we're eating today.
Like we're eating like a normal person.
It's Thanksgiving.
Get over yourself.
Just don't talk about weight.
Like, oh, I ate so much, I'm gonna pay for that tomorrow.
No, just enjoy it.
It's a holiday.
Enjoy what you're eating.
Don't talk about your weight,
how much you wanna lose,
how much you've gained this year.
It avoided at all costs.
Yeah, agreed.
And then personal things.
Which sounds really broad
and I'm gonna attach two of them together.
But like, if you have a cousin or a sibling
or an uncle that's not married or paired up
or within a relationship for any reason,
you don't need to know or maybe you do know,
don't talk about it.
Yeah, don't talk about it.
And this is kind of for an older generation
that's like, why aren't you married?
I'm, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.
Don't, the personal stuff with that is not the way to go.
And that is attached to also if someone is childless.
Yes, and there are many, many reasons why
the accomplishments of your children
do not match somebody else's story.
So if there's a reason that this person doesn't have kids
in their life and they want it or maybe they don't,
whatever, don't bring it up and ask the questions.
Like, those deep personal questions
is probably not the time in between
when you're like, hey, pass the sweet potatoes.
Right, and I think what might not be so personal to you
could be very personal to somebody else,
but you don't know that.
So just don't go there.
So basically you can talk about the weather at Thanksgiving
and you'll be fine.
Just talk about the weather.
Better be a nice day.
Or musicals if you're in our family
because that's what we tend to do.
What's the latest Broadway show you've seen?
Oh, we'll be all singing Wicked on Thanksgiving.
It's pretty sure.
Parenting advice,
because there's lots of kids running around at Thanksgiving.
Oh, yeah.
Your family member might parent differently than you
or if you are one of those childless people
and don't have kids,
but you think somebody should be parenting a certain way
because you wouldn't do it that way.
Nobody is gonna learn lessons about being a parent
on Thanksgiving at a holiday event.
And if you're annoyed by a child's behavior
or a parent's reaction to that,
keep it to yourself.
Just keep it to yourself.
What's that old school?
It's from old school.
Step off.
Nope.
Not old school.
School of Rock.
You don't know anything.
Which is really, I think a white snake song.
You're stupid.
That's from friends.
Mom, that's from friends.
Step off.
Just step off.
And the last one,
do not talk to the people next to you and or say out loud
how much somebody else in your family is eating.
Ugh.
Like they're going for how many helpings of whatever.
They're going for seconds.
They're eating more of this dish.
Then another dish.
Even if you're noticing it, don't say it.
Yeah.
And I'm saying this one because it's happened and it happens.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
And it's ridiculous.
Let people do them.
Let them.
It's Thanksgiving.
It's Christmas.
Let people do them.
I was thinking of let them,
but I was thinking of saying it a different way.
Not the Melly R way, like the Carly D way.
I was thinking like.
Let people do the things.
This is a fork.
That's the Carly D way.
Even though Carly D wrote her name on something
and it she wrote Carly M.
Because technically I haven't changed my last name yet.
Shh.
Don't tell Leandra.
I just thought you forgot.
No.
No, I did forget.
I did.
That day you forgot.
I forgot my last name was Diamond.
But also it says Diamond on my license,
but not on my social security.
Because I've never sent that paperwork in.
So I will do it.
We're coming up on year 14 here.
I will do this.
It's too late.
They don't want it.
They don't want your paperwork.
They are behind in paperwork.
You were just gonna add to the mix.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
I forgot.
That's hilarious.
Where I didn't send in my official birth certificate.
I sent in a copy.
Cause I was like,
I'm not sending my real birth certificate in.
And so they sent it back and was like,
this is not authorized birth certificate.
And I never sent it back.
Yeah.
Because anyone can send in a copy.
Yeah.
I did.
So I didn't change my name.
Like a hacker could send in
and be like, I'm gonna steal this identity.
Okay. Well, I didn't send in it.
So I'm still technically a mayo unless you pull me over.
And then I'm a dykeman on my license,
but not in my social security.
My head is reeling.
I have so many thoughts I wanna say.
My face is flushing.
What is this feeling?
Burbin as a flame.
Does it have a name?
Yeah.
Wait, somebody did do the yes again.
Ready? Go.
Yeah.
What?
I was trying to do harmony,
but I sort of went up with you.
And I was trying to stay low.
I'm used to doing the top part.
Yeah. Why didn't you do the top part?
Because you went up.
Because we both go up.
You just go up higher.
Oh, okay. Let's do it again.
No.
Well, that is a little input to our Thanksgiving
and how it's gonna go.
Every Alphaba and Glinda that has ever played them
are rolling around in their couches right now.
Yes, because they're all still alive.
Yeah, definitely.
All right. In any case.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Enjoy the holiday if you're hosting.
Enjoy if you're a guest and bringing some dishes.
Just make it easy for yourself.
Keep yourself organized.
And then you'll be set.
That's my real tip.
My real extra tip.
I know it was like the Friends
and all the funny episodes for Thanksgiving.
My real extra tip is called BYO.
What does BYO mean?
It means bring your own plastic Tupperware
to bring stuff home for yourself.
So what has been happening in our family
is we like to put turkey, cranberry sauce,
and mashed potatoes all in one plastic bag
and give it to the family.
Why not?
Yeah, but if you could separate that
and bring your own Tupperware,
you can bring your own food home
separated in a plastic Tupperware.
Victoria has taught me that I now provide that
anytime people come over my house,
I will provide with plastic Tupperware
that you never have to give back to me.
Yeah, it's usually mine
that you just won't give back when I bring over.
I'm like, hey, Karli, do you have all my Pyrex?
She's like, yeah, they're my cabinet.
Oh, okay.
A lot of the time I give them away to people.
I'm like, oh, no, no, yeah, you're good, keep it.
Cause it's mine.
But bring your own Tupperware.
It makes it so much easier at the end of the night.
You can go through each of the trays,
put as much as you want in your own Tupperware,
take it home so you don't come home
with a mushy plastic bag of food.
I'm happy either way.
But I like it, I like it.
So we hope you have a wonderful holiday.
We hope it is joyful on that tropical beach by yourself
and away from the stress and the conversations
that you shouldn't be having at the table.
And, you know, we hope that you remember
you're always fit to be real
and always allowed to be a little extra.
Happy 6th Day of In.
And don't let her fool you.
She would die without me on a holiday.
Die of happiness.
Happiness, happiness.
Die.
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