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Welcome to Fit to Be Real and a little extra.

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It is October and next week, and it happens every year, October.

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Every year.

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And next week is Carly's birthday and the week after that is mine.

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So we are going to do our 30 lessons learned by our 30s part two.

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Yes.

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And I have learned more lessons than last year.

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Well, I re-listened to last year's and I don't think you kept those lessons.

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Hey, I, this is about learning.

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This isn't about putting into action.

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That's a different episode.

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That episode is called Putting into Action, The Lessons I've Learned by the Time I'm 39.

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This is just the lessons I've learned.

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You're an idiot.

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I've learned that.

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I have never said in this episode or the episode we've done before that I put them into action

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just that I have realized and learned them.

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You don't need to tell us.

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We know.

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What is that redundant?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Is that like a word you just wanted to talk about?

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Redundant.

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So yeah, we've learned more lessons this year.

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However, we are going to give you less of them.

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Because we've learned that that was a lot to listen to.

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We've learned that it was too many lessons.

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So Carly is turning 39.

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I know.

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It's your last.

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It's crazy.

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Your last one in your 30s.

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Because I look in the mirror and think that I'm 22.

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There's nothing wrong with that.

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No, no, no.

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You say that all the time as if it's like the worst mentality ever.

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It's not as great.

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What's that real that's like, oh, I was born in 85 and I have two kids and yesterday I was

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at the club and somebody's trying.

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I am butchering this meme, but somebody's trying to tell me that I'm 38 and I'm still

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16 at the club.

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That was horrible.

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I think I want to cut it, but I'm not going to.

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You all know the meme I'm talking about is basically like, how did I get here with two

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kids, a husband and a house and a job when in my mind, I have no responsibilities and

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I'm at the club.

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So the second time you tried to say it was way better.

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So this was the only case where your repetitious vocabulary worked.

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One of the things I've learned is to maybe think before I speak.

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How about it?

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We started early.

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So Carly's only going to give us nine, nine by 39 and I'm going to give you six by 36.

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And we are not talking about square footage, but let's do it.

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I'm Victoria.

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Hey guys, I'm Carly.

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I think when I turn 39, it's going to get higher and when I turn 40, everything just

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drops.

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Everything.

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Amazing.

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I don't know how you feel about being 36.

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You're not 36 yet and I'm not 39 yet, but do you feel like you're like going over a hump?

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That's how I feel.

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Like there's a hill and like you're getting, maybe that's why they say over the hill.

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Did you just have like a revelation?

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Oh my God.

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Wait, this is real.

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That's why they call it over the hill.

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Because I feel like I'm being serious.

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Yes, I'm being dead serious because I feel like I'm going over the hump of what?

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What was this big obstacle that you needed to get over?

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Just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm gonna get to that.

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I wanna get to the top.

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I just got a little bit of a headache and I don't even remember what I was thinking of.

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I just found out it was over the hill.

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I was like, just like going over, I picture myself like almost at the top of the hill going

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over the hill and I guess 40 is over the hill.

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Yeah.

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See you.

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I don't feel like that.

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No.

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No.

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I feel like I'm...

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Well, is the hill bad?

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Is getting over the hill a bad thing?

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I don't think so.

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What does it feel like?

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I just don't feel like I should be at the top of that hill yet going over.

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I still feel like I should be like crawling.

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I mean, in reality, that's more your style.

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Like if we were actually hiking over a hill, I don't think you'd be going so well.

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No.

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I think it'd be a lot of brakes.

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Sit down.

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It's very possible you'd hurt something.

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I just...

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I think part of the going over the hill is that I don't feel like if 40 is the top, I don't

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feel like I'm anywhere close.

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Like 40, that number to me, seems so far away in my mind.

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And I'm not that far.

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I'm not mature enough.

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That's the honest part.

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I'm not mature enough.

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I don't know how I have three kids to take care of.

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I am still a child in my mind.

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Yeah.

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You're like, you're not mature enough.

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I mean, true.

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But also, I don't think that's a bad thing.

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And I think you think that's a bad thing.

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Like you should feel more mature.

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Like the adults in the movies that have CEO jobs and wear pencil skirts to work and like

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all this...

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Yeah.

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I think that's what you think a 40-year-old should be.

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Yeah.

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Or more mature and like more farther along.

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And I think that's bullsh**.

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I think that is the story that we're told is to happen once you reach a certain age.

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And I don't think that's actually like true or even aids in longevity.

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Yeah.

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I think that hinders longevity.

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What's coming up in all my newsfeed is like our favorite movies from back then and how

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their ages were depicted.

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So right now and then is popping up.

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If you have not seen now and then, younger ones out there.

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Watch it now.

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Right now and then watch it then.

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Like Rosie O'Donnell was 33 in that movie as the old version of that character.

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She was only 33.

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Like we're older than all of the people that are all those actresses that were depicting

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older characters in the movie and they were 33, 37, 35.

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The Golden Girls were 41.

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Exactly.

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They were supposed to be 41.

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And it's like a joke.

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Yeah.

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Because that's what I think.

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But that's what it is.

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But that's what it is.

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In my mind, I'm like, oh my God, I'm Golden Girls age and I don't feel that way.

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But they didn't feel that way.

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Right.

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That was just the style of the times.

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Same thing about Maggie Smith.

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Maggie Smith was the one from Peter Pan.

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She was the old, what's it called?

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The grandmother.

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Wendy.

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Oh, Wendy.

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She was the old Wendy.

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She was 56 years old.

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They aged her.

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Right.

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They aged her into her 80s, 90s.

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But then she's looked like that, Wendy, for the next 30 years.

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Yeah.

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Did she not?

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Yeah.

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I thought she was in her 80s since the beginning of Harry Potter.

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I know.

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Because that's just how the style of the times.

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But I think that's the hill that you're thinking you should be.

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And it's just the story we've been fed since we were little.

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Like when you get to reach the certain age, you're over the hill.

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Yeah.

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Why?

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I was thinking about this the other day.

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I've almost been alive.

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I've been with Andrew half of my life.

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Half of my life.

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Birds are hard.

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They are.

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It's troubling.

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So I have been alive.

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For half of years than others have been.

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But I have been with him almost longer than I've been alive.

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We talked about this in our last 30 for 30.

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It'll be 20 years on your 40th birthday.

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20 years together, 15 years married.

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Yeah, not crazy.

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I just like that's a big deal.

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I know.

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I just, I don't, time is flying, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

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Time is weird.

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We talk about it all the time.

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Yeah.

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And it doesn't get any more clarity.

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It's just like all of a sudden it's October.

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Yeah, I know.

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Like all of a sudden it's our birthday again and I used to love my birthday.

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I don't not love my birthday.

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What?

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We had a few years, we had a few years, the past couple of years.

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Yes.

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I don't even want to celebrate.

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I don't want to talk about it.

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Past couple of years are bad.

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It wasn't a fear of like getting older.

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It just was like I, it was almost like a disappointment in the fact that a whole year went by and nothing

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changed or a whole year went by and it and something changed or you know, whatever it is.

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I think we were working a lot the past, I would say the past three birthdays of ours have not been great.

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We have not enjoyed them.

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No.

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We, they went by like it was just a Tuesday and we are big birthday people.

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Our mom always made it a big deal and so that's how we treated it up, up until the past three years.

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But I think we're turning a corner.

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Yeah.

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I've been celebrating my birthday all month.

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I think that we were working a lot, a lot, a lot and it was just exhausting to try and put something together.

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Yeah.

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Or care that we were like, oh, it's just another year where we work just as much.

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Exactly.

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And it's like, what's the difference?

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Who cares?

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But I think we're, we're moving past that and this, that some of the lessons I've learned and we'll talk about why that is changing.

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So we're going over the hump.

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Is that just another small scale word for the hill?

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The hill.

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Yep.

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My humps.

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My lovely lady humps.

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I'm not following you over the hill.

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It's okay.

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I don't have them.

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So it's fine.

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It's not happening.

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With that said, we're moving on.

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So give us your first lesson in your 39th year.

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Oh my God.

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So crazy.

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My number one, which I really had to sit down and think about this because I was like, what's different than last year?

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Yeah.

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But my first one is to bet on yourself.

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I think that's a strong one for me because for so many years.

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Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it.

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Is that a song?

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Yes, I just sang it.

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I really hope so.

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It is.

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Is it one that's created already?

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Yes.

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It's Zach Efron in High School Musical 2.

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I've never seen them.

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And he's dancing around in golf course.

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All right.

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1A would be watch all the high school musical movies.

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That would be the lesson I learned.

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That would be 1B.

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1A.

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Bet on yourself.

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Because I think for many years I've had imposter syndrome where I didn't think that I knew what I was doing and I was just acting.

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But now I'm like, no, I do know I have something to say.

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I trust myself.

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Nice.

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Yeah.

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And I think that was a big one for me this year being trying to push that imposter syndrome.

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I can't even say it.

260
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:47,500
Imposter syndrome.

261
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,500
She's okay.

262
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,500
She's alright.

263
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,500
She'll be alright.

264
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:56,500
Down so that because I don't believe that, I didn't want to believe it.

265
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,500
Your mind was telling you that.

266
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,500
Which is what we talked about last year.

267
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:01,500
Your mind is not who you are.

268
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:02,500
Right.

269
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,500
It just tells the story and sometimes we listen to it too much.

270
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:05,500
They think.

271
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,500
I agree with that.

272
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:09,500
And I think with you too, people bet on us.

273
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:10,500
People put their trust in us.

274
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:13,500
But we are the last ones to do it for ourselves.

275
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:17,500
And I'm working on doing that.

276
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:20,500
These are all thought about in hindsight.

277
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,500
You already told us you're not going to do any of this shit.

278
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,500
So you kind of ruined it.

279
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,500
But sounds good, Carly.

280
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:28,500
Go for it.

281
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,500
I hate you right now.

282
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,500
And I'm taking your birthday present back.

283
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,500
I don't have mine in order because I wrote down 15.

284
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,500
And then you told me only did six.

285
00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:41,500
So I didn't have an order for it then either.

286
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:46,500
So I'm just going to shut my eyes and then the first thing I read.

287
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,500
You can do more than six.

288
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,500
Alright, here's the first one.

289
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,500
You can't heal a body that you hate.

290
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:58,500
Oh, I love that one because I've read that before.

291
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:01,500
Yeah, I've definitely this is not like an original thought of mine.

292
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,500
I just I've I stand by it.

293
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:05,500
Yes.

294
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:10,500
And I say it to people all the time, but I think this year alone.

295
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,500
I believe it.

296
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:20,500
Like I've given myself a lot more grace with making mistakes when it comes to my health journey of like eating.

297
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:28,500
Like if I go out to dinner midweek is OK. Like living your life is better than missing out on all the opportunities.

298
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:32,500
And if that means the scale goes up a little bit, figure it out.

299
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,500
Like it's not a big deal.

300
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,500
Yeah, like that type of grace.

301
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:39,500
And then also with not working out as vigorously or as much.

302
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:43,500
Now I had a lot of injuries past few years that changed a lot for me.

303
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:47,500
But my schedule has now changed.

304
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:50,500
And if I'm too tired, I'm too tired.

305
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:51,500
Yeah.

306
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:57,500
And it it messes like I'm not great with that because I beat myself up over like you did this to yourself.

307
00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:00,500
Like what were you thinking you should have gotten up earlier.

308
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:04,500
You should have gone harder because you only have this amount of time and you got to squeeze in it.

309
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:07,500
And I've stopped really like doing that.

310
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:08,500
Punishing yourself.

311
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:12,500
Yes, but I'm I'm not happy with how my body is at this moment.

312
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:16,500
Like I've gained a little bit of weight, but also I'm happier.

313
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:17,500
Yeah.

314
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:23,500
So like I don't want to sink into this scale number because I don't really want to be where I am.

315
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:25,500
I want my clothes to feel a lot better.

316
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:30,500
However, my life feels like my quality is so much better.

317
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,500
Yeah.

318
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:32,500
Don't you think that's more important?

319
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:33,500
It is.

320
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,500
Oh, it totally is.

321
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:40,500
That's why that's like I'm working on finding the medium between the grace of that and not beating up my like with my mind.

322
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:44,500
Yeah, beating myself up over my body because your body can hear you.

323
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:45,500
I'm firm believer of that.

324
00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:46,500
I've read it in a lot of places.

325
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:49,500
I've heard it from a lot of different people.

326
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:54,500
The thoughts that you have in your mind and like we're the meanest relationship we have.

327
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,500
I know we're the meanest.

328
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,500
I'm such a mean girl partner to ourselves.

329
00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,500
Yeah, to ourselves.

330
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,500
Well, Carly's mean girl everybody.

331
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,500
You can't sit with us.

332
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:05,500
But like we tell ourselves that right.

333
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:14,500
And so the horrible things that we say in the mirror when we're trying to fit into the what you thought was going to fit you that day and you're like, shoot.

334
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,500
This was the outfit I planned and it doesn't fit me.

335
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:17,500
What am I going to do?

336
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,500
That just happened to me on Sunday.

337
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,500
And it's horrible.

338
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,500
Yeah.

339
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:38,500
And what instead of being like, oh man and going for another option, you just start reaming into yourself of all of the horrible things that you've done and like, God, you're so if you're only looked like this, if your legs were only like this, if you had just not eaten this, you could have like all this stupid, stupid stuff.

340
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:39,500
That's so mean.

341
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:40,500
I know.

342
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,500
And your body listens to it.

343
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:51,500
There is a scientific cellular level of it hearing you and believing you and storing stress and which in turn stores fat.

344
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:52,500
Yeah.

345
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:59,500
Which in turns gives you more storyline for your mind to tell you that you hate it.

346
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,500
Right.

347
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:06,500
Instead of like if we were just nicer to our bodies, the levels would come down.

348
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:16,500
It would be easier to lose weight, it would be easier to stick into consistency and give yourself those moments of grace when you're like, yeah, but you know what, that dinner was really good.

349
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:17,500
Yeah.

350
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:21,500
You know, like and I hadn't and I enjoyed my time while I was not even just like the food was so good.

351
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,500
I had a good time.

352
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:24,500
Yes.

353
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,500
Like you spend time differently.

354
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:29,500
You cannot heal a body that you hate because it's listening.

355
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:32,500
So be nice.

356
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,500
Be kind to yourself.

357
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:35,500
I like that one.

358
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,500
I'll try and do that.

359
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,500
All right.

360
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,500
We all know how that's going to work out.

361
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:49,500
This one is a big one for me this year and I am it's still something that I'm trying to be okay with, but I'm going to be okay with it.

362
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:53,500
People come in and out and that is okay.

363
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:54,500
It's so hard.

364
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,500
You're still working on this one.

365
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:56,500
Yeah.

366
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:57,500
You said this last year.

367
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:58,500
I did.

368
00:16:58,500 --> 00:16:59,500
Yep.

369
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:00,500
No, it's good.

370
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:01,500
That's good though.

371
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:05,500
You can't just learn a brand new lesson every single solitary year or many lessons every year.

372
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:08,500
You're going to learn the same one until you figure it out.

373
00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:09,500
Well, clearly you have not.

374
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:10,500
It bothers me.

375
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:11,500
Yeah.

376
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:18,500
Like it's something that I'm bothered by that people come in and out and like most I was thinking about it.

377
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:20,500
A lot of it is on me.

378
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:23,500
I've said this before as a joke and it is sort of a joke.

379
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:28,500
I'm not a great friend and that doesn't mean that I don't love my friends.

380
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:34,500
I'm not good with communicating and getting together because everybody's life is crazy.

381
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:41,500
I'm not saying mine is any crazier, but like at the end of the Friday or Saturday, the last thing I want to do is go back out and be with people.

382
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:47,500
So it has to be like really meaningful for me to want to do that.

383
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,500
So I'm not a great friend.

384
00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:57,500
I reach out when I need to reach out, but I think the people in my life either come and go or the ones that know me like,

385
00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:01,500
that really know me, they stick by me because they know me.

386
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:05,500
But the ones that come in and out, like that has to be okay.

387
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,500
Like seasons of friends.

388
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,500
Come in and out or come in and leave and are gone.

389
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,500
Yeah.

390
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:11,500
Yeah.

391
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,500
That that that.

392
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:13,500
That that that.

393
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:22,500
People like you said before, people come into your lives for a reason at the time that you need them and they go out for a reason at the time that is right.

394
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,500
That is time for them to go.

395
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:24,500
Right.

396
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:29,500
And I have to be okay with that and I guess I'm still learning that that has to be okay.

397
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:33,500
And it's well, the underlying of all that is, is change.

398
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:34,500
You don't like change.

399
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:35,500
Yeah.

400
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,500
And I don't want to force something that's not working, but you do.

401
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:39,500
I do.

402
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:40,500
I'm a forcer.

403
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:43,500
I'm an enforcer.

404
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:51,500
Well, all you need is one person to listen and I think you'll chill out, but no one, no one will listen to you.

405
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,500
It's not that I don't want to be a good friend.

406
00:18:53,500 --> 00:19:03,500
I just have never, I like ever since I was in high school, like I moved to New York and I just had my blinders on.

407
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:04,500
I wanted one thing.

408
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,500
I didn't really have time for friends.

409
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:12,500
Like I had my friend group, but like, like I'm always like on my own path, I think.

410
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:16,500
Does your path involve connection?

411
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:17,500
Yeah.

412
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:22,500
But I think when those connections have played its part, I have, I force them for too long.

413
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,500
For too long to hold on.

414
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:25,500
You stayed too long.

415
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:26,500
Yeah, I stayed too long.

416
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,500
Yeah.

417
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,500
I stayed too long at the party.

418
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:32,500
Well, no, you have to show up to the party first.

419
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,500
That's true.

420
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:34,500
You're not showing up.

421
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,500
You're not even responding to the RSVP.

422
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:37,500
Shoot, I have to do that.

423
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:38,500
That's true.

424
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:39,500
I still, I have to, I have a text they need to respond to.

425
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:42,500
I'm a horrible responder, but yeah, I'm working on that clearly.

426
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:45,500
Now, I think you could, I think you're a little blinder.

427
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:49,500
You do have blinders on just because you're, yeah, you're tired.

428
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:50,500
I'm tired.

429
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:51,500
I'm tired of this.

430
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:52,500
You're just tired.

431
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:53,500
Yeah.

432
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:54,500
I could open up my blinders.

433
00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:59,500
You know, those horse blinders, they have like, I could open them up a little bit more.

434
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:01,500
And I think everybody needs that.

435
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:05,500
I mean, nobody can live their life in a one track mind sort of.

436
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,500
I could open them up a little bit.

437
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:07,500
So I'll work on that too.

438
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,500
So many things, so many things.

439
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:16,500
This again is not my quote, my phrase, my concept, but I heard it.

440
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:22,500
And I think it couldn't be more true to what I've been dealing with, but also like this

441
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:26,500
year specifically, honesty, I'm going to have to say this twice.

442
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:29,500
I'm going to say it slow.

443
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:32,500
Maybe that won't happen.

444
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,500
Honesty is the best policy.

445
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:35,500
No.

446
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:36,500
Okay.

447
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:37,500
Well, sure.

448
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:38,500
Yeah.

449
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:39,500
Yeah.

450
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,500
Honesty is telling the truth when asked.

451
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:43,500
No, I heard you.

452
00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:45,500
I heard you the first time.

453
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:47,500
Oh, shut up.

454
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:49,500
Oh my God.

455
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:53,500
It was a very dramatic pause because you put your head down.

456
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,500
I didn't know if you understood it.

457
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,500
I'm listening with my eyes closed.

458
00:20:57,500 --> 00:21:00,500
God, that was like Vicki out at my wedding.

459
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:02,500
Honesty is telling the truth when asked.

460
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:05,500
Transparency is telling the truth when they don't even know to ask.

461
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:06,500
Okay.

462
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:07,500
Yup.

463
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,500
Say it again.

464
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:09,500
I said it too fast and didn't put a pause.

465
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,500
I hate you.

466
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:18,500
But transparency is telling the truth when they don't even know to ask.

467
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:25,500
So honesty is like you being like, hey, I'm going to ask this question, tell me the truth

468
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:26,500
and you tell the truth.

469
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:27,500
That's honest.

470
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:28,500
I'm being honest.

471
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:29,500
Right.

472
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:35,500
But what I want and what I live by and what I have learned this year is a deal breaker

473
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:39,500
and like a non-negotiable.

474
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:41,500
The bear.

475
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:42,500
Non-negotiable.

476
00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:43,500
Non-negotiable.

477
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:44,500
Thank you, chef.

478
00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:49,620
Is transparency and transparency is giving the information and telling the truth before

479
00:21:49,620 --> 00:21:52,500
you even know that you need to ask that question.

480
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:53,500
Okay.

481
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:54,500
No, I get it.

482
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:55,500
Why?

483
00:21:55,500 --> 00:22:01,740
That's because sometimes asking the question, like I think that's an old behavior pattern

484
00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:04,180
of knowing and it's something that you do too.

485
00:22:04,180 --> 00:22:06,380
Asking the question for proof.

486
00:22:06,380 --> 00:22:07,380
For validation.

487
00:22:07,380 --> 00:22:08,380
For validation.

488
00:22:08,380 --> 00:22:09,380
Yeah.

489
00:22:09,380 --> 00:22:12,100
For proof that I know this answer, you're going to tell me the truth.

490
00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:13,100
Are you?

491
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:14,100
Right.

492
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:17,660
So I'm, if I'm thinking of it in terms of relationships, romantic relationships, like

493
00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:20,740
when you're asking a question that you need complete honesty for, it's because there's

494
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:23,740
something else that you need.

495
00:22:23,740 --> 00:22:26,700
And so if transparency exists, you don't have to ask that question.

496
00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:27,700
Right.

497
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:31,660
You already know the answer because they're acting that way or because, hey, they brought

498
00:22:31,660 --> 00:22:35,260
it up to you first and they want to be fully open with you and they don't want you to have

499
00:22:35,260 --> 00:22:36,260
to ask the question.

500
00:22:36,260 --> 00:22:37,260
Right.

501
00:22:37,260 --> 00:22:38,260
And like I need transparency.

502
00:22:38,260 --> 00:22:39,580
Yeah, that's difficult.

503
00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:47,620
I think everybody needs it, but it's something that I don't want to sacrifice myself for

504
00:22:47,620 --> 00:22:48,620
anymore.

505
00:22:48,620 --> 00:22:49,620
Yeah.

506
00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:53,820
Because I've always had to ask the questions and then you have to do the, okay, do I believe

507
00:22:53,820 --> 00:22:54,820
them?

508
00:22:54,820 --> 00:22:55,820
Right.

509
00:22:55,820 --> 00:22:57,740
Instead of, I never have to ask that question.

510
00:22:57,740 --> 00:22:58,740
Right.

511
00:22:58,740 --> 00:22:59,740
Like I don't have to wonder if I believe you.

512
00:22:59,740 --> 00:23:00,740
Because it's all out there.

513
00:23:00,740 --> 00:23:01,740
Because it's already out there.

514
00:23:01,740 --> 00:23:02,740
Yeah.

515
00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:05,060
And it goes with the same thing we said last year.

516
00:23:05,060 --> 00:23:09,100
If it's something is real and something is an actual connection, that transparency isn't

517
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:11,340
going to break that.

518
00:23:11,340 --> 00:23:15,220
So it's connected to that, which is what I've learned last year.

519
00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:19,060
That like if it's real, it's not going to break forever.

520
00:23:19,060 --> 00:23:20,060
It can be fake.

521
00:23:20,060 --> 00:23:21,060
It can be cracked.

522
00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:22,060
It can be glued back together.

523
00:23:22,060 --> 00:23:23,060
Yeah.

524
00:23:23,060 --> 00:23:26,460
But transparency is a non-negotiable.

525
00:23:26,460 --> 00:23:27,460
Yeah.

526
00:23:27,460 --> 00:23:29,780
I like that one.

527
00:23:29,780 --> 00:23:30,820
That's not on my list.

528
00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:32,260
So that's number 10.

529
00:23:32,260 --> 00:23:33,260
Oh, good.

530
00:23:33,260 --> 00:23:35,180
You're going to repeat it again.

531
00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:38,300
I would love for you to try to repeat that.

532
00:23:38,300 --> 00:23:41,100
So as Victoria said, those were not her words.

533
00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:42,100
No.

534
00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:43,260
These are 100% my words.

535
00:23:43,260 --> 00:23:45,300
Oh, it's going to be good.

536
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:48,580
Being cool isn't cool.

537
00:23:48,580 --> 00:23:49,580
My words.

538
00:23:49,580 --> 00:23:50,580
Yeah.

539
00:23:50,580 --> 00:23:51,580
Not anybody else's.

540
00:23:51,580 --> 00:23:52,580
What?

541
00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:59,580
And I think I'm realizing this more because Melody is 10 and I'm seeing her a little

542
00:23:59,580 --> 00:24:04,540
bit be like, no, mom, I don't want to wear my hair like that today.

543
00:24:04,540 --> 00:24:06,420
And I can see it in her eyes.

544
00:24:06,420 --> 00:24:07,420
Why?

545
00:24:07,420 --> 00:24:09,140
Like she doesn't want to wear pigtails anymore.

546
00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:14,620
It's not cool or like, mom, can I, I want to wear those shorts, you know, because they're

547
00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:15,620
cooler.

548
00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:17,500
I don't want to wear those ones with little stars on them.

549
00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:18,500
You know what I mean?

550
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:19,500
Right.

551
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:21,500
So I think that's normal.

552
00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:22,580
That's being a kid.

553
00:24:22,580 --> 00:24:28,140
But I'm seeing it in myself being like, man, being cool is just not cool.

554
00:24:28,140 --> 00:24:32,340
The kids that grow up that are cool, like they're never cool.

555
00:24:32,340 --> 00:24:34,580
It's like Romeo and Michelle's high school reunion.

556
00:24:34,580 --> 00:24:39,660
You go back and all the cool kids are like, not cool.

557
00:24:39,660 --> 00:24:48,700
So all of you listeners, if it feels like deja vu, I said it last year, word for word.

558
00:24:48,700 --> 00:24:49,700
God damn it.

559
00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:51,100
But that's wonderful.

560
00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:57,660
I think this is such an, this is such a like unscripted surprise of in such a good way

561
00:24:57,660 --> 00:25:01,020
because you actually mean it.

562
00:25:01,020 --> 00:25:02,020
I do.

563
00:25:02,020 --> 00:25:03,020
Right.

564
00:25:03,020 --> 00:25:04,180
And you're learning it in different ways.

565
00:25:04,180 --> 00:25:07,460
Like last year, Melody wasn't, no, I was doing this.

566
00:25:07,460 --> 00:25:08,460
No.

567
00:25:08,460 --> 00:25:09,780
Like it was not a thing.

568
00:25:09,780 --> 00:25:13,020
And so this year, you're realizing it for different reasons because you're cool that

569
00:25:13,020 --> 00:25:14,980
you were talking about last year was about yourself.

570
00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:15,980
No.

571
00:25:15,980 --> 00:25:16,980
And I'm not talking about myself.

572
00:25:16,980 --> 00:25:17,980
I know.

573
00:25:17,980 --> 00:25:18,980
This year it's now about your kid.

574
00:25:18,980 --> 00:25:19,980
Yeah.

575
00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:20,980
So it's, it's interesting.

576
00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:21,980
I think that's a cool thing.

577
00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:22,980
I'm glad you didn't listen to it.

578
00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:26,980
I just, I'm glad you didn't do your research and not say the things you said last year.

579
00:25:26,980 --> 00:25:32,420
Well, you didn't do your research and you're saying everything you said last year.

580
00:25:32,420 --> 00:25:38,740
I just, yes, I'm realizing it because I want to make sure Melody knows that like being

581
00:25:38,740 --> 00:25:40,580
cool is such a waste of time.

582
00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:41,580
It's not cool.

583
00:25:41,580 --> 00:25:43,260
Like I know, I don't care.

584
00:25:43,260 --> 00:25:45,580
Like mom never cared about being cool.

585
00:25:45,580 --> 00:25:46,780
I now don't care.

586
00:25:46,780 --> 00:25:47,780
I, you, you did.

587
00:25:47,780 --> 00:25:48,780
Oh yes.

588
00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:52,100
When you were growing up as like a teenager, of course you did.

589
00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:53,860
I mean a couple of years ago I cared.

590
00:25:53,860 --> 00:25:54,860
Me too.

591
00:25:54,860 --> 00:25:55,860
And I don't care anymore.

592
00:25:55,860 --> 00:26:01,140
I mean, if you ever come to our class, you can realize I am making you laugh.

593
00:26:01,140 --> 00:26:07,580
I do not think that I am in any way, shape or form the coolest kid on the block.

594
00:26:07,580 --> 00:26:10,460
I am just like having fun and being crazy.

595
00:26:10,460 --> 00:26:15,580
But Melody, for example, is being the invisible man for Halloween.

596
00:26:15,580 --> 00:26:20,980
Like her friends are being babies and like soccer players and like just wearing an Eagles

597
00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:26,620
jersey at 10 and she and Andrew are making the invisible man.

598
00:26:26,620 --> 00:26:27,620
What is that?

599
00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:28,620
And who is that?

600
00:26:28,620 --> 00:26:29,620
So many questions.

601
00:26:29,620 --> 00:26:32,620
We went to the Goodwill yesterday and bought her a blazer, a shirt, pants.

602
00:26:32,620 --> 00:26:34,340
But where did she find this costume idea?

603
00:26:34,340 --> 00:26:35,340
Online?

604
00:26:35,340 --> 00:26:36,340
Online.

605
00:26:36,340 --> 00:26:41,220
And it's like then you attach a hanger and it goes all the way up the back and then

606
00:26:41,220 --> 00:26:43,780
you put a top hat and then you glue glasses.

607
00:26:43,780 --> 00:26:44,780
So there's no face.

608
00:26:44,780 --> 00:26:48,540
Her face is in the blazer and the jacket and it's above her head.

609
00:26:48,540 --> 00:26:49,540
I see.

610
00:26:49,540 --> 00:26:51,860
And she has a lot of slits for her eyes and like that.

611
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:52,860
I want her.

612
00:26:52,860 --> 00:26:57,500
I want to box that up while all her friends are wearing Eagles jerseys and like putting

613
00:26:57,500 --> 00:27:02,300
a black line under their eyes because that's cool and she's going to walk around as the

614
00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:04,380
invisible man and she thinks that's so cool.

615
00:27:04,380 --> 00:27:05,860
And she thinks it's so cool.

616
00:27:05,860 --> 00:27:06,860
It is cool.

617
00:27:06,860 --> 00:27:07,860
It is.

618
00:27:07,860 --> 00:27:13,380
I think she thought of it herself and she's making it and I just want to reiterate then

619
00:27:13,380 --> 00:27:14,780
that being cool is not cool.

620
00:27:14,780 --> 00:27:18,260
Mind you, we had a lot more recital costumes to play with.

621
00:27:18,260 --> 00:27:21,340
Like that was our these are the costumes that we have.

622
00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:22,900
What can we make from them?

623
00:27:22,900 --> 00:27:23,900
And they don't have that.

624
00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:24,900
No, not yet.

625
00:27:24,900 --> 00:27:26,340
You had to go like start from scratch.

626
00:27:26,340 --> 00:27:28,540
Yeah, I was Tina Turner one year.

627
00:27:28,540 --> 00:27:29,540
Tina Turner.

628
00:27:29,540 --> 00:27:32,500
No, you should be.

629
00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:33,500
Thanks mom.

630
00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:34,500
Okay.

631
00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:39,860
Oh my God, I remember that wig.

632
00:27:39,860 --> 00:27:42,820
This one is serious but also not serious.

633
00:27:42,820 --> 00:27:43,820
Choose color.

634
00:27:43,820 --> 00:27:46,260
Oh, choose color.

635
00:27:46,260 --> 00:27:47,780
Because we wear black all the time.

636
00:27:47,780 --> 00:27:52,660
It just I think for so long where this really stems from is I wear black because I love

637
00:27:52,660 --> 00:27:55,060
it and I that's just like very my vibe.

638
00:27:55,060 --> 00:27:56,220
It just is.

639
00:27:56,220 --> 00:28:01,980
But there was always a piece to it of being slimmer when you wear black being more flattering.

640
00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:07,660
And I don't necessarily when I say choose color mean just you know with your clothing

641
00:28:07,660 --> 00:28:13,620
in like in decorating when you look around and I see a bunch of stuff online now and

642
00:28:13,620 --> 00:28:14,620
like buying houses.

643
00:28:14,620 --> 00:28:18,580
It's all modern and it's clean and it's crisp and it's but I just like color.

644
00:28:18,580 --> 00:28:19,580
I like color.

645
00:28:19,580 --> 00:28:26,660
Yeah, I don't care if you know my house looks like a giant rainbow and the carpet is a bunch

646
00:28:26,660 --> 00:28:35,500
of different colors and in my kitchen my bath mat or kitchen mats or you know Mexican flowers

647
00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:41,580
that are just every single color of the rainbow like why not and somehow somewhere along the

648
00:28:41,580 --> 00:28:47,260
lines with the cool thing color isn't cool color makes you weird wearing all the colors

649
00:28:47,260 --> 00:28:51,900
make you weird even if it's like high fashion that's weird.

650
00:28:51,900 --> 00:28:56,020
So there's something about and I talked about being weird last year to make you feel better.

651
00:28:56,020 --> 00:28:58,100
We talked about this last year.

652
00:28:58,100 --> 00:28:59,100
Thanks.

653
00:28:59,100 --> 00:29:02,700
But another one of mine that I'll pair with this is like keep people that match your freak.

654
00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:05,620
Yeah, that's like a new term like a cool term.

655
00:29:05,620 --> 00:29:07,020
We match you match my freak.

656
00:29:07,020 --> 00:29:11,180
But like keep people that also want color like why not.

657
00:29:11,180 --> 00:29:12,180
Great.

658
00:29:12,180 --> 00:29:13,620
I don't know that term because I'm not cool.

659
00:29:13,620 --> 00:29:16,060
So I know it was a hard launch.

660
00:29:16,060 --> 00:29:20,940
Wait, I got so much shade for that.

661
00:29:20,940 --> 00:29:27,700
And I'm just like that's me not thinking I'm cool but like making fun of it.

662
00:29:27,700 --> 00:29:29,540
I think a lot of people agree with it.

663
00:29:29,540 --> 00:29:34,420
I put a post out of my new relationship and apparently it was a big deal because Carly

664
00:29:34,420 --> 00:29:37,980
wrote hard launch.

665
00:29:37,980 --> 00:29:41,380
Because everyone was like, Victoria doesn't post about anything.

666
00:29:41,380 --> 00:29:42,380
You're such a brat.

667
00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:43,380
I know.

668
00:29:43,380 --> 00:29:44,420
And that's what they were thinking.

669
00:29:44,420 --> 00:29:48,380
I was laughing my butt off because I used it correctly and you were proud of me.

670
00:29:48,380 --> 00:29:53,900
You did use it correctly and it was a hard launch.

671
00:29:53,900 --> 00:29:58,340
However, so many people were agreeing with you and so many people were against you.

672
00:29:58,340 --> 00:30:00,100
It was how the internet works.

673
00:30:00,100 --> 00:30:04,500
But then it took the heat off the post because nobody was looking at the post anymore.

674
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:08,660
Nobody was commenting on my comment about being a hard launch.

675
00:30:08,660 --> 00:30:09,660
Yeah.

676
00:30:09,660 --> 00:30:10,660
And you're welcome.

677
00:30:10,660 --> 00:30:11,660
Now it's happening in person.

678
00:30:11,660 --> 00:30:13,180
People are talking about your hard launch in person.

679
00:30:13,180 --> 00:30:14,180
I know.

680
00:30:14,180 --> 00:30:15,180
Yeah.

681
00:30:15,180 --> 00:30:16,180
That's either how uncool you are.

682
00:30:16,180 --> 00:30:17,380
It's a talent.

683
00:30:17,380 --> 00:30:20,700
And they're thrilled by it or they're shocked by it.

684
00:30:20,700 --> 00:30:21,860
It's a special skill that I have.

685
00:30:21,860 --> 00:30:27,100
I can make, I do want to say that my special skill is making every situation about me whether

686
00:30:27,100 --> 00:30:28,300
I want to or not.

687
00:30:28,300 --> 00:30:30,260
It is just something that happens.

688
00:30:30,260 --> 00:30:32,700
That is so true.

689
00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:33,700
I learned that years ago.

690
00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:34,700
That is so true.

691
00:30:34,700 --> 00:30:35,700
Yeah, me too.

692
00:30:35,700 --> 00:30:37,700
I think I was seven.

693
00:30:37,700 --> 00:30:41,340
That is so, so, so, so true.

694
00:30:41,340 --> 00:30:43,860
So maybe I should be mad for you taking my thunder.

695
00:30:43,860 --> 00:30:46,180
I don't think you are yet again.

696
00:30:46,180 --> 00:30:51,100
They still looked at the picture and then one person said, oh, I went right to the comment

697
00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:53,140
section as soon as I saw this picture.

698
00:30:53,140 --> 00:30:54,220
What's up, Monica?

699
00:30:54,220 --> 00:30:58,300
And I was like, yep, because she wanted to see what I was going to say or whatever.

700
00:30:58,300 --> 00:31:00,860
She's like, I went right to that comment section.

701
00:31:00,860 --> 00:31:03,580
Well, we're going to hard launch into the next one.

702
00:31:03,580 --> 00:31:04,580
Okay.

703
00:31:04,580 --> 00:31:05,980
This one is going to be fast.

704
00:31:05,980 --> 00:31:08,740
I did not say this last year.

705
00:31:08,740 --> 00:31:13,260
I can tell you that the worst case scenario rarely happens.

706
00:31:13,260 --> 00:31:15,860
Is something I'm learning and I joke about it a lot.

707
00:31:15,860 --> 00:31:17,500
I am a worst case scenario.

708
00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:26,260
I am a fearful person and I am learning that the worst case scenario rarely happens.

709
00:31:26,260 --> 00:31:27,860
I'm not saying it never happens.

710
00:31:27,860 --> 00:31:28,980
It rarely happens.

711
00:31:28,980 --> 00:31:33,740
So try and be more present and less scared of life.

712
00:31:33,740 --> 00:31:35,100
That's a great one.

713
00:31:35,100 --> 00:31:36,100
Yeah.

714
00:31:36,100 --> 00:31:37,700
I'm trying to be less scared of life.

715
00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,500
Life scares me.

716
00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:40,500
Death scares me.

717
00:31:40,500 --> 00:31:43,180
So I'm not sure where I fit in.

718
00:31:43,180 --> 00:31:49,420
She sits here with a skeleton sweater and a skeleton in a coffin on her t-shirt.

719
00:31:49,420 --> 00:31:52,020
It says never better with peace fingers.

720
00:31:52,020 --> 00:31:53,020
That's a thumbs up.

721
00:31:53,020 --> 00:31:54,180
Oh, thumbs up.

722
00:31:54,180 --> 00:31:55,180
Something fingers.

723
00:31:55,180 --> 00:31:59,860
Yeah, both scare me so I'm trying to be less scared of life.

724
00:31:59,860 --> 00:32:01,020
Moving on.

725
00:32:01,020 --> 00:32:03,460
Oh, you're so not scared of it.

726
00:32:03,460 --> 00:32:04,460
You don't even want to talk about it.

727
00:32:04,460 --> 00:32:05,460
I just want to bypass.

728
00:32:05,460 --> 00:32:06,460
Go.

729
00:32:06,460 --> 00:32:07,460
Cool.

730
00:32:07,460 --> 00:32:08,460
Cool.

731
00:32:08,460 --> 00:32:10,300
Then we're going to go into a two-parter for me.

732
00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:12,180
It's two of mine that really mean the same thing.

733
00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:14,060
I'm really thinking about it.

734
00:32:14,060 --> 00:32:17,220
Stillness is productivity and take your time.

735
00:32:17,220 --> 00:32:18,220
Yeah.

736
00:32:18,220 --> 00:32:20,980
So like, I've really launched.

737
00:32:20,980 --> 00:32:22,140
I hard launched.

738
00:32:22,140 --> 00:32:25,140
You hard launched into practice.

739
00:32:25,140 --> 00:32:31,540
I'm listening that in action this year of like, if I need to sit down and for 20 minutes

740
00:32:31,540 --> 00:32:38,460
put something stupid on the TV or read one chapter of a book just to like sit that down.

741
00:32:38,460 --> 00:32:39,460
Yeah.

742
00:32:39,460 --> 00:32:42,140
That doesn't mean I'm wasting my time.

743
00:32:42,140 --> 00:32:43,140
Yeah.

744
00:32:43,140 --> 00:32:49,820
And like, we live in a state of hurry up and rush out the door and hustle and hustle, which

745
00:32:49,820 --> 00:32:51,380
we've talked about it so much.

746
00:32:51,380 --> 00:32:52,380
Don't make me do it.

747
00:32:52,380 --> 00:32:53,380
Don't make me do it.

748
00:32:53,380 --> 00:32:55,380
Don't make me do it.

749
00:32:55,380 --> 00:32:56,380
I'm a hustler baby.

750
00:32:56,380 --> 00:32:57,380
Oh, that was high.

751
00:32:57,380 --> 00:32:58,380
Yeah.

752
00:32:58,380 --> 00:32:59,380
I just want you to know.

753
00:32:59,380 --> 00:33:00,380
Oh.

754
00:33:00,380 --> 00:33:01,380
Go ahead.

755
00:33:01,380 --> 00:33:02,380
Can we sing that song anymore?

756
00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:03,380
I don't know.

757
00:33:03,380 --> 00:33:04,380
There's so much we can't sing.

758
00:33:04,380 --> 00:33:05,380
Yeah.

759
00:33:05,380 --> 00:33:08,820
I had to change some of my recital songs for this year because I just don't feel comfortable

760
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:09,820
playing them.

761
00:33:09,820 --> 00:33:10,820
Yeah.

762
00:33:10,820 --> 00:33:11,820
Yeah.

763
00:33:11,820 --> 00:33:12,820
If you don't know what we're talking about, figure it out because we're not going to

764
00:33:12,820 --> 00:33:13,820
talk about it.

765
00:33:13,820 --> 00:33:15,060
No, but we are going to have a hot topic episode.

766
00:33:15,060 --> 00:33:16,060
It's coming.

767
00:33:16,060 --> 00:33:17,060
Okay.

768
00:33:17,060 --> 00:33:18,060
We're going to talk about all the hot topics.

769
00:33:18,060 --> 00:33:19,060
Good to know.

770
00:33:19,060 --> 00:33:20,060
Yeah.

771
00:33:20,060 --> 00:33:21,060
That's a hot topic right there.

772
00:33:21,060 --> 00:33:22,060
Awesome.

773
00:33:22,060 --> 00:33:24,060
Yeah.

774
00:33:24,060 --> 00:33:26,380
Just taking your time with things like it's going to get done and you'll get there.

775
00:33:26,380 --> 00:33:30,820
And if it's not in time, you're on time.

776
00:33:30,820 --> 00:33:31,820
Right?

777
00:33:31,820 --> 00:33:35,220
Like I still don't want to be late for things, but if it's not in the time that you think

778
00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:38,060
it's going to be, you're still going to get it done and it's still going to be the right

779
00:33:38,060 --> 00:33:39,260
time for you to get it done.

780
00:33:39,260 --> 00:33:40,260
That's a hard thing to...

781
00:33:40,260 --> 00:33:41,260
Slow down.

782
00:33:41,260 --> 00:33:44,460
... horribly come to terms with because everybody's fast paced.

783
00:33:44,460 --> 00:33:49,060
Everybody's seeing everybody get it on Instagram and TikTok immediately.

784
00:33:49,060 --> 00:33:50,060
Like why?

785
00:33:50,060 --> 00:33:51,060
Yeah.

786
00:33:51,060 --> 00:33:52,780
I mean, look what...

787
00:33:52,780 --> 00:33:56,140
Just those reels of somebody being like, this is 2022.

788
00:33:56,140 --> 00:33:57,140
This is what I look like.

789
00:33:57,140 --> 00:33:58,980
This is March of 2022.

790
00:33:58,980 --> 00:34:03,580
No, that's fake, but it's out there.

791
00:34:03,580 --> 00:34:05,380
So it's just like immediate.

792
00:34:05,380 --> 00:34:07,500
I think I just burnt out from being burnt out.

793
00:34:07,500 --> 00:34:08,500
Yeah.

794
00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:09,500
I think that's what it is.

795
00:34:09,500 --> 00:34:12,340
I'm tired of being tired.

796
00:34:12,340 --> 00:34:15,020
And we're only 36 and 39.

797
00:34:15,020 --> 00:34:22,860
So it's taking your time for things, aids in your longevity and aids in feeling like

798
00:34:22,860 --> 00:34:30,420
you're not tired because you're not constantly at the edge of everything.

799
00:34:30,420 --> 00:34:34,860
I mean, it feels like everything where there's only one sip left.

800
00:34:34,860 --> 00:34:36,780
There's only one second left.

801
00:34:36,780 --> 00:34:38,180
There's only one...

802
00:34:38,180 --> 00:34:39,180
I'm tired of it.

803
00:34:39,180 --> 00:34:40,180
I'm tired of that mentality.

804
00:34:40,180 --> 00:34:44,820
Well, when you just said I'm burnt out from being burnt out, we were watching the movie

805
00:34:44,820 --> 00:34:47,980
Sing yesterday, one of my favorite movies.

806
00:34:47,980 --> 00:34:52,820
And after, if you've never watched Sing, it's great, but they lost the theater.

807
00:34:52,820 --> 00:34:55,140
Everything seems to be going to SHIT.

808
00:34:55,140 --> 00:34:59,340
And the koala is like laying in a pool just like wanting to die basically.

809
00:34:59,340 --> 00:35:01,380
It's a great kids movie.

810
00:35:01,380 --> 00:35:04,620
And then his friend, the llama comes up and looks at him and is like, you know what the

811
00:35:04,620 --> 00:35:08,300
best part about being at the bottom is?

812
00:35:08,300 --> 00:35:10,740
There is nowhere else to go but up.

813
00:35:10,740 --> 00:35:11,740
And I just...

814
00:35:11,740 --> 00:35:12,740
I wasn't watching it.

815
00:35:12,740 --> 00:35:14,180
I was doing stuff around the kitchen and I heard that.

816
00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:18,740
And I was like, man, I wish the kids understood that line.

817
00:35:18,740 --> 00:35:19,740
Like I just took it.

818
00:35:19,740 --> 00:35:22,940
Like there is nowhere else to go but up.

819
00:35:22,940 --> 00:35:24,460
And sometimes you don't realize that.

820
00:35:24,460 --> 00:35:27,300
And like being burnt out, there's nowhere else to go.

821
00:35:27,300 --> 00:35:31,700
But like digging yourself out of burnout basically and taking your time and slowing it down.

822
00:35:31,700 --> 00:35:37,700
But that's the thing about burnout is that when you reach that lowest point, you take

823
00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:40,420
a second to sit into it because you don't know what your next move is.

824
00:35:40,420 --> 00:35:46,700
So you take your time and you sit into stillness and that's when you have the energy to pick

825
00:35:46,700 --> 00:35:47,700
yourself back up.

826
00:35:47,700 --> 00:35:49,820
But like even at burnout, you need that.

827
00:35:49,820 --> 00:35:52,900
So like why do we burn out together at that point?

828
00:35:52,900 --> 00:35:56,460
Why not do it all the way along and then it doesn't get to that point?

829
00:35:56,460 --> 00:35:57,460
You know what I mean?

830
00:35:57,460 --> 00:35:58,460
That's kind of where I am.

831
00:35:58,460 --> 00:36:00,460
If I need to sit down, I sit down.

832
00:36:00,460 --> 00:36:04,180
If I need to take a second and turn my phone off, I take a second to turn my phone off.

833
00:36:04,180 --> 00:36:07,340
If it's a nap, I haven't quite done that yet.

834
00:36:07,340 --> 00:36:09,860
But I firmly believe it's a midday.

835
00:36:09,860 --> 00:36:11,980
If it's a midday nap, I'm going to take it.

836
00:36:11,980 --> 00:36:12,980
You'll learn by 39.

837
00:36:12,980 --> 00:36:13,980
Oh, good.

838
00:36:13,980 --> 00:36:16,940
Can't wait because I learned that a long time ago.

839
00:36:16,940 --> 00:36:17,940
So catch up.

840
00:36:17,940 --> 00:36:18,940
Cool.

841
00:36:18,940 --> 00:36:21,100
Tell me if I said it last year.

842
00:36:21,100 --> 00:36:23,620
No one is coming to save you.

843
00:36:23,620 --> 00:36:25,140
I don't think you did.

844
00:36:25,140 --> 00:36:31,060
And what that means to me is I was always under the impression when I was trying to be on

845
00:36:31,060 --> 00:36:35,300
Broadway and as an actor that like somebody was going to discover me.

846
00:36:35,300 --> 00:36:37,540
Like it was it's not my job.

847
00:36:37,540 --> 00:36:40,420
You're going to find me and everything's going to be fine.

848
00:36:40,420 --> 00:36:41,420
Oh, yeah.

849
00:36:41,420 --> 00:36:42,420
You know what I mean?

850
00:36:42,420 --> 00:36:45,180
Like no, no one's coming to save you.

851
00:36:45,180 --> 00:36:46,700
You have to do it yourself.

852
00:36:46,700 --> 00:36:48,380
And that doesn't mean out of a bad situation.

853
00:36:48,380 --> 00:36:53,380
It just means like in anything, like I'm always constantly or I have always looked and been

854
00:36:53,380 --> 00:36:54,860
like, why is she getting this over?

855
00:36:54,860 --> 00:36:55,860
I work justice.

856
00:36:55,860 --> 00:36:56,860
Sorry.

857
00:36:56,860 --> 00:36:59,460
No, she wasn't found.

858
00:36:59,460 --> 00:37:00,900
She's a hustler.

859
00:37:00,900 --> 00:37:06,860
And while I am also a hustler, a little part of you is like somebody will find me on the

860
00:37:06,860 --> 00:37:09,980
algorithm and just take it to the next level.

861
00:37:09,980 --> 00:37:15,100
So you kind of talked yourself into saying something that you said last year with us,

862
00:37:15,100 --> 00:37:19,500
which was if somebody else somebody else's success doesn't mean that you're not successful.

863
00:37:19,500 --> 00:37:21,700
So it's kind of kind of the same thing.

864
00:37:21,700 --> 00:37:22,700
Yeah.

865
00:37:22,700 --> 00:37:23,700
The comparison.

866
00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:24,700
It's comparison.

867
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:27,380
Basically, if you want it, work for it.

868
00:37:27,380 --> 00:37:32,980
And you know, no one is coming to take your hand and get you where you want to be.

869
00:37:32,980 --> 00:37:33,980
If you want it, work for it.

870
00:37:33,980 --> 00:37:38,860
I was watching this really amazing piece of television last night called Love is Blind.

871
00:37:38,860 --> 00:37:43,820
And so season seven and they're just amazing.

872
00:37:43,820 --> 00:37:47,860
So some guy was asking this girl like, Hey, why are you on the show?

873
00:37:47,860 --> 00:37:49,100
Like, why did you decide to show?

874
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:54,060
And she was like, well, my husband's not going to come to me on my couch at home.

875
00:37:54,060 --> 00:37:57,180
And it just was so I was like, that's so honest.

876
00:37:57,180 --> 00:37:58,260
Number one, which is great.

877
00:37:58,260 --> 00:38:00,500
And number two, it's so true because we all do that.

878
00:38:00,500 --> 00:38:01,500
Yeah.

879
00:38:01,500 --> 00:38:02,500
Somebody's going to find me.

880
00:38:02,500 --> 00:38:03,500
You want it.

881
00:38:03,500 --> 00:38:04,500
You don't want to do anything to go do it.

882
00:38:04,500 --> 00:38:05,500
Yeah.

883
00:38:05,500 --> 00:38:07,060
You're hoping it comes, literally comes through the door.

884
00:38:07,060 --> 00:38:08,060
Yeah.

885
00:38:08,060 --> 00:38:09,620
As you're sitting on the couch, wasting your time.

886
00:38:09,620 --> 00:38:10,620
I know.

887
00:38:10,620 --> 00:38:11,620
So.

888
00:38:11,620 --> 00:38:12,620
And that's exactly what I mean.

889
00:38:12,620 --> 00:38:14,700
Not that somebody else's success isn't warranted.

890
00:38:14,700 --> 00:38:19,020
It's just that if I want something, like I have to do it.

891
00:38:19,020 --> 00:38:20,300
And I know that.

892
00:38:20,300 --> 00:38:24,540
So it's, you know, it was just a little revelation saying it like that.

893
00:38:24,540 --> 00:38:26,260
No one's coming to save you.

894
00:38:26,260 --> 00:38:27,260
Correct.

895
00:38:27,260 --> 00:38:28,260
I can do it myself.

896
00:38:28,260 --> 00:38:29,260
Right.

897
00:38:29,260 --> 00:38:30,260
And I have to do it myself.

898
00:38:30,260 --> 00:38:31,260
You're betting on yourself.

899
00:38:31,260 --> 00:38:32,260
Yeah.

900
00:38:32,260 --> 00:38:33,260
I'm betting on myself.

901
00:38:33,260 --> 00:38:34,260
I'm betting on myself.

902
00:38:34,260 --> 00:38:36,900
This is what I wrote.

903
00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:41,900
Dairy just isn't worth it.

904
00:38:41,900 --> 00:38:43,780
And own your choices.

905
00:38:43,780 --> 00:38:44,780
Good or bad.

906
00:38:44,780 --> 00:38:45,780
How?

907
00:38:45,780 --> 00:38:47,020
Put them together for me.

908
00:38:47,020 --> 00:38:48,020
Right.

909
00:38:48,020 --> 00:38:52,620
Because for me, dairy just isn't worth it.

910
00:38:52,620 --> 00:38:53,620
It's because it hurts.

911
00:38:53,620 --> 00:38:56,540
It hurts my belly.

912
00:38:56,540 --> 00:39:01,140
And I, as much as I want it, I, it's not, it's truly isn't worth it.

913
00:39:01,140 --> 00:39:02,140
Like.

914
00:39:02,140 --> 00:39:07,220
I spend way too much money in makeup trying to cover up what dairy does to my face.

915
00:39:07,220 --> 00:39:08,220
Right.

916
00:39:08,220 --> 00:39:10,820
So just it's not, I've learned.

917
00:39:10,820 --> 00:39:11,820
Don't take the bite.

918
00:39:11,820 --> 00:39:12,820
Okay.

919
00:39:12,820 --> 00:39:13,820
Nothing tastes that good.

920
00:39:13,820 --> 00:39:14,820
No.

921
00:39:14,820 --> 00:39:18,500
So how it's tied to own your own choices.

922
00:39:18,500 --> 00:39:27,180
Good or bad is because I have made specifically dietary choices like not eating dairy, like

923
00:39:27,180 --> 00:39:36,940
not eating meat other than fish, like not drinking, that I have owned.

924
00:39:36,940 --> 00:39:37,940
I have owned.

925
00:39:37,940 --> 00:39:39,700
I've owned every conversation that comes from it.

926
00:39:39,700 --> 00:39:45,820
I've owned every awkward moment in meeting new people when it's like, I don't eat that.

927
00:39:45,820 --> 00:39:50,540
I have owned it even if it's something that other people can't understand.

928
00:39:50,540 --> 00:39:51,980
And that's where it's tied into.

929
00:39:51,980 --> 00:39:57,060
Because if I like going on first dates being like, oh, by the way, I don't drink

930
00:39:57,060 --> 00:40:03,860
right now and I don't eat dairy and I don't eat meat and you want to try to get an appetizer

931
00:40:03,860 --> 00:40:06,180
that we can share.

932
00:40:06,180 --> 00:40:08,660
And like as much as that's not a big deal, it's really not.

933
00:40:08,660 --> 00:40:10,980
It's not a big deal at all.

934
00:40:10,980 --> 00:40:17,260
It is in terms of like meeting people that don't care about that.

935
00:40:17,260 --> 00:40:21,460
And I've met somebody that doesn't care about that, but in the process of finding this person

936
00:40:21,460 --> 00:40:28,020
and meeting people that made it weird for me and I felt uncomfortable and it was such

937
00:40:28,020 --> 00:40:29,020
a big deal.

938
00:40:29,020 --> 00:40:32,460
And at the same time, I was like, sorry, not sorry.

939
00:40:32,460 --> 00:40:34,940
Like this is who I am.

940
00:40:34,940 --> 00:40:39,500
This is such a specific thing, but in owning your own choices, good or bad, like I mean

941
00:40:39,500 --> 00:40:42,820
that in such a broad spectrum, but that's where I'm tying it into the dairy because

942
00:40:42,820 --> 00:40:48,540
that's where it kind of gave me a light bulb where I was like, I've made some choices that

943
00:40:48,540 --> 00:40:50,700
aren't necessarily mainstream.

944
00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:51,700
It's popular.

945
00:40:51,700 --> 00:40:52,700
Popular.

946
00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:54,140
Yeah.

947
00:40:54,140 --> 00:40:57,540
And it should be easy.

948
00:40:57,540 --> 00:40:59,660
It should be not a question.

949
00:40:59,660 --> 00:41:02,740
It should be something I when I go out, it doesn't, I don't have to think about it.

950
00:41:02,740 --> 00:41:10,220
And it is for the most part, but it's just that like people, people are going to judge

951
00:41:10,220 --> 00:41:14,140
you and your choices, whether they're good or bad based on how they feel.

952
00:41:14,140 --> 00:41:15,140
Right.

953
00:41:15,140 --> 00:41:16,140
Based on with that, they actually are good or bad.

954
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:18,820
I was just going to say that it's not a reflection of your choices.

955
00:41:18,820 --> 00:41:21,580
It's a reflection on how they feel about your choices.

956
00:41:21,580 --> 00:41:22,580
So own it.

957
00:41:22,580 --> 00:41:23,580
So own it.

958
00:41:23,580 --> 00:41:26,900
So don't apologize for it, especially if it's not something that's going to harm somebody

959
00:41:26,900 --> 00:41:32,820
else, but don't apologize for it and stick to your guns because they're your guns.

960
00:41:32,820 --> 00:41:39,820
You know, like whatever that phrase really means, welcome to the gun show.

961
00:41:39,820 --> 00:41:44,020
But that's why I'm tying it into the dairy because for a little bit of going out with

962
00:41:44,020 --> 00:41:48,620
people that didn't know me, didn't know like what do you do when you go out with new people?

963
00:41:48,620 --> 00:41:49,620
And they judge them.

964
00:41:49,620 --> 00:41:50,620
Yeah.

965
00:41:50,620 --> 00:41:54,420
You judge their little things to see if you want to judge them or not judge them for the

966
00:41:54,420 --> 00:41:57,020
rest of your life, you know, like things like that.

967
00:41:57,020 --> 00:42:03,460
And it just was, I was presented with like the opportunity to own my choices many, many

968
00:42:03,460 --> 00:42:04,460
times.

969
00:42:04,460 --> 00:42:05,460
Yes.

970
00:42:05,460 --> 00:42:06,460
Way more than I have ever had to do.

971
00:42:06,460 --> 00:42:11,100
And I, I've stick by it and dairy just is never a good idea.

972
00:42:11,100 --> 00:42:12,100
I'm sorry.

973
00:42:12,100 --> 00:42:13,100
It's not worth it.

974
00:42:13,100 --> 00:42:14,100
Yes.

975
00:42:14,100 --> 00:42:18,500
However, our favorite ice cream, they discontinued because we were the only ones buying it.

976
00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:20,500
Oh yeah.

977
00:42:20,500 --> 00:42:22,500
Peanut buttered chocolate swirl or whatever.

978
00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:23,500
Oh my God.

979
00:42:23,500 --> 00:42:24,500
I can't find, I look.

980
00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:25,500
They discontinued it.

981
00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:26,500
I know.

982
00:42:26,500 --> 00:42:27,500
I contacted them.

983
00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:28,500
Oh right.

984
00:42:28,500 --> 00:42:31,140
I contacted them and I said, what did you do with my ice cream?

985
00:42:31,140 --> 00:42:32,140
And they said, we're sorry.

986
00:42:32,140 --> 00:42:33,140
We discontinued it.

987
00:42:33,140 --> 00:42:37,620
And I tried to get anything that I could ship to me, but they like, like I was like, I'll

988
00:42:37,620 --> 00:42:40,380
take 50 cases and store them.

989
00:42:40,380 --> 00:42:42,980
My God, you would make me pick up so many more refrigerators.

990
00:42:42,980 --> 00:42:43,980
I know.

991
00:42:43,980 --> 00:42:45,180
But they don't make them anymore.

992
00:42:45,180 --> 00:42:48,460
So yeah, that was my right choice.

993
00:42:48,460 --> 00:42:52,500
If you have to tell someone you are that, then you're not that.

994
00:42:52,500 --> 00:42:55,300
Oh, wow.

995
00:42:55,300 --> 00:42:57,740
Let me say it again in words that you'll understand.

996
00:42:57,740 --> 00:42:59,140
Thank you.

997
00:42:59,140 --> 00:43:03,300
If you have to tell somebody you are that, then you're not that.

998
00:43:03,300 --> 00:43:05,300
You just repeated it.

999
00:43:05,300 --> 00:43:06,300
Yeah.

1000
00:43:06,300 --> 00:43:10,540
So like if you have to tell someone you're a big tough guy, then you're not a big tough

1001
00:43:10,540 --> 00:43:11,540
guy.

1002
00:43:11,540 --> 00:43:14,020
If you have to tell, like don't tell anybody your plans.

1003
00:43:14,020 --> 00:43:15,020
Show them.

1004
00:43:15,020 --> 00:43:16,020
Yeah.

1005
00:43:16,020 --> 00:43:17,540
If you have to tell somebody you're confident, you're not confident.

1006
00:43:17,540 --> 00:43:21,500
If you have to tell somebody you're rich, show somebody you're rich, you're not.

1007
00:43:21,500 --> 00:43:24,060
And also, you don't need to.

1008
00:43:24,060 --> 00:43:25,060
Right.

1009
00:43:25,060 --> 00:43:26,060
But you're not that.

1010
00:43:26,060 --> 00:43:27,060
Right.

1011
00:43:27,060 --> 00:43:28,580
So don't try and be somebody that you're not.

1012
00:43:28,580 --> 00:43:33,380
And that I think in previous years, I've been like, and then I'm going to do this and

1013
00:43:33,380 --> 00:43:34,820
I'm going to do this.

1014
00:43:34,820 --> 00:43:36,660
No, don't tell them.

1015
00:43:36,660 --> 00:43:37,660
Just do it.

1016
00:43:37,660 --> 00:43:40,260
Because you were also probably saying that just because you know you should or.

1017
00:43:40,260 --> 00:43:41,260
Right.

1018
00:43:41,260 --> 00:43:42,260
Exactly.

1019
00:43:42,260 --> 00:43:43,260
It sounded like you should.

1020
00:43:43,260 --> 00:43:44,260
Yeah.

1021
00:43:44,260 --> 00:43:48,220
So you just go quietly and it will be that.

1022
00:43:48,220 --> 00:43:51,220
But if you have to tell somebody you're not that.

1023
00:43:51,220 --> 00:43:52,220
Yeah.

1024
00:43:52,220 --> 00:43:53,220
Yeah.

1025
00:43:53,220 --> 00:43:54,220
That's a good one.

1026
00:43:54,220 --> 00:43:55,220
Yeah.

1027
00:43:55,220 --> 00:43:56,220
That's so true.

1028
00:43:56,220 --> 00:43:57,220
Therapy works.

1029
00:43:57,220 --> 00:44:00,700
Is this for you or me?

1030
00:44:00,700 --> 00:44:01,780
You have not tried it.

1031
00:44:01,780 --> 00:44:02,780
It's not on my list.

1032
00:44:02,780 --> 00:44:06,220
So you wouldn't know.

1033
00:44:06,220 --> 00:44:07,220
Should be on your list.

1034
00:44:07,220 --> 00:44:08,220
Therapy works.

1035
00:44:08,220 --> 00:44:14,660
There be works so much so that you don't realize it's working.

1036
00:44:14,660 --> 00:44:15,660
That's how it works.

1037
00:44:15,660 --> 00:44:16,660
That's how it works.

1038
00:44:16,660 --> 00:44:17,940
You don't realize it's working.

1039
00:44:17,940 --> 00:44:22,260
And I did the whole thing with my therapist of like, I don't understand why I still feel

1040
00:44:22,260 --> 00:44:23,260
this way.

1041
00:44:23,260 --> 00:44:27,260
Why do I time why it's taking too long and she'd be like, we're taking as long as it

1042
00:44:27,260 --> 00:44:28,260
needs to take.

1043
00:44:28,260 --> 00:44:29,260
Yeah.

1044
00:44:29,260 --> 00:44:33,700
And so like all of these concepts that you don't realize someone who professionally

1045
00:44:33,700 --> 00:44:42,060
is unbiased towards you and your decisions is helping you to truly understand concepts

1046
00:44:42,060 --> 00:44:44,900
that you're like are really struggling with.

1047
00:44:44,900 --> 00:44:50,100
And for me, one of them was like, I'm just going to say it, I was afraid to get back

1048
00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:53,180
out there because I was afraid to make the same mistakes.

1049
00:44:53,180 --> 00:44:54,180
Right.

1050
00:44:54,180 --> 00:44:57,380
All over again and put myself back into the position of being heartbroken.

1051
00:44:57,380 --> 00:44:58,380
Right.

1052
00:44:58,380 --> 00:44:59,380
Or rejected.

1053
00:44:59,380 --> 00:45:03,980
Or just like, oh my God, how did I not see these signs?

1054
00:45:03,980 --> 00:45:04,980
Right.

1055
00:45:04,980 --> 00:45:08,620
Like all the things that you do when you're going through a previous relationship that

1056
00:45:08,620 --> 00:45:14,020
clearly was unhealthy, that even if everybody else saw it and you didn't, or if you saw

1057
00:45:14,020 --> 00:45:22,540
it yourself and ignored it, which was my thing, I was completely ignoring my own intuition.

1058
00:45:22,540 --> 00:45:24,620
I was so afraid to do that again.

1059
00:45:24,620 --> 00:45:26,260
So I didn't want to put myself out there.

1060
00:45:26,260 --> 00:45:30,980
Well, it's hard after repeatedly doing that to be like, let's go, let's do it again.

1061
00:45:30,980 --> 00:45:31,980
Right.

1062
00:45:31,980 --> 00:45:33,140
Which I was always happy that I did.

1063
00:45:33,140 --> 00:45:35,660
Like I'm always happy looking back.

1064
00:45:35,660 --> 00:45:37,700
I'm happy that I constantly kept trying.

1065
00:45:37,700 --> 00:45:38,700
It's like that.

1066
00:45:38,700 --> 00:45:42,100
I might always said the movie last week too.

1067
00:45:42,100 --> 00:45:43,980
And I couldn't remember it last week either.

1068
00:45:43,980 --> 00:45:44,980
Oh my God.

1069
00:45:44,980 --> 00:45:45,980
He's just not that into you.

1070
00:45:45,980 --> 00:45:46,980
Yes.

1071
00:45:46,980 --> 00:45:47,980
Where Maggie Gyllenhaal.

1072
00:45:47,980 --> 00:45:48,980
Yes.

1073
00:45:48,980 --> 00:45:49,980
She just keeps trying.

1074
00:45:49,980 --> 00:45:53,380
She's like, well, I'm closer to love than you are because I'm going to keep doing it

1075
00:45:53,380 --> 00:45:57,460
even though I'm getting hurt, like whatever her phrasing was.

1076
00:45:57,460 --> 00:46:00,100
And I've always been like, that's me.

1077
00:46:00,100 --> 00:46:06,260
Like I'm constantly getting burnt and I'm constantly trying again, but I was too tired

1078
00:46:06,260 --> 00:46:07,260
to do it.

1079
00:46:07,260 --> 00:46:08,260
Yeah.

1080
00:46:08,260 --> 00:46:10,180
So I was afraid to get back out there and get back online because that's the only way

1081
00:46:10,180 --> 00:46:11,180
you meet people.

1082
00:46:11,180 --> 00:46:12,180
Easy.

1083
00:46:12,180 --> 00:46:13,180
Like people are now going, oh, where'd you meet?

1084
00:46:13,180 --> 00:46:14,180
I'm like online.

1085
00:46:14,180 --> 00:46:15,180
Online.

1086
00:46:15,180 --> 00:46:16,180
Don't ask that question.

1087
00:46:16,180 --> 00:46:17,180
You know where we met.

1088
00:46:17,180 --> 00:46:18,180
We didn't meet at Seafit.

1089
00:46:18,180 --> 00:46:19,180
It's obvious.

1090
00:46:19,180 --> 00:46:21,460
He didn't walk into Seafit one day asking to work out.

1091
00:46:21,460 --> 00:46:23,460
Me on my couch.

1092
00:46:23,460 --> 00:46:25,220
I really wanted to meet people.

1093
00:46:25,220 --> 00:46:33,100
So I would have this conversation with my therapist when I was like, when I first said, okay,

1094
00:46:33,100 --> 00:46:36,500
I'm thinking about going back online again, but I'm not ready to do it.

1095
00:46:36,500 --> 00:46:37,500
Right.

1096
00:46:37,500 --> 00:46:38,580
And she'd be like, all right, let's figure that out.

1097
00:46:38,580 --> 00:46:43,660
So I would have the conversation with the, but what if I just get so excited that I jump

1098
00:46:43,660 --> 00:46:47,500
in too fast because I think it's the right thing, but it's not.

1099
00:46:47,500 --> 00:46:48,500
But it's not.

1100
00:46:48,500 --> 00:46:49,500
And then I'm back to where I was.

1101
00:46:49,500 --> 00:46:54,620
I would replay all of these what if scenarios with her of what happened before.

1102
00:46:54,620 --> 00:47:00,300
And she'd be like, you'll know, you'll know, not the cliche, you'll know when it's different.

1103
00:47:00,300 --> 00:47:02,420
You'll know how to trust yourself by then.

1104
00:47:02,420 --> 00:47:03,620
You'll know that's done the work.

1105
00:47:03,620 --> 00:47:04,620
You've done the work.

1106
00:47:04,620 --> 00:47:06,580
You've spent all this time doing the work.

1107
00:47:06,580 --> 00:47:07,580
Right.

1108
00:47:07,580 --> 00:47:09,300
You'll see it ahead of time.

1109
00:47:09,300 --> 00:47:10,300
And I didn't trust that.

1110
00:47:10,300 --> 00:47:11,300
Yeah.

1111
00:47:11,300 --> 00:47:12,300
And I didn't trust that.

1112
00:47:12,300 --> 00:47:17,380
And she would, she was like, okay, well, then you're not, then you're not ready.

1113
00:47:17,380 --> 00:47:18,780
And so we'll do it when you're ready.

1114
00:47:18,780 --> 00:47:19,780
And you go, okay.

1115
00:47:19,780 --> 00:47:22,300
And she was, she was fantastic with the whole thing.

1116
00:47:22,300 --> 00:47:23,740
And she still is.

1117
00:47:23,740 --> 00:47:30,820
So when I talked to her last, which was almost a month ago, I was telling her a situation

1118
00:47:30,820 --> 00:47:34,500
where I was like, and then I said this, and then I did this, and then this.

1119
00:47:34,500 --> 00:47:37,460
And she was like, I need you to take a second.

1120
00:47:37,460 --> 00:47:40,100
And I need you to realize all the things that you just said to me.

1121
00:47:40,100 --> 00:47:44,740
And there are all things that you've never done before, which was sticking up for yourself,

1122
00:47:44,740 --> 00:47:52,460
which was not staying too long, which was having a feeling and going off of that and

1123
00:47:52,460 --> 00:47:54,820
not second guessing yourself.

1124
00:47:54,820 --> 00:47:58,860
And all of these things that I was like, I'm, what if I, what if I get blinded and put those

1125
00:47:58,860 --> 00:48:00,740
horse blinders on and I miss all of the things.

1126
00:48:00,740 --> 00:48:05,740
And now I bet she was like, you did everything you said you were afraid that you would miss.

1127
00:48:05,740 --> 00:48:07,100
You did it all.

1128
00:48:07,100 --> 00:48:08,100
And I started to cry.

1129
00:48:08,100 --> 00:48:09,100
I was like, oh my God.

1130
00:48:09,100 --> 00:48:10,620
I didn't even notice I did it.

1131
00:48:10,620 --> 00:48:11,620
I did it.

1132
00:48:11,620 --> 00:48:12,620
Which is amazing.

1133
00:48:12,620 --> 00:48:14,660
But like, you're, yes, that's the purpose of you.

1134
00:48:14,660 --> 00:48:17,780
Like you didn't even realize it was working.

1135
00:48:17,780 --> 00:48:22,380
I did not realize it was working until it was presented to myself that I had to make

1136
00:48:22,380 --> 00:48:28,340
certain decisions in a situation where I made different ones than I've ever made it before.

1137
00:48:28,340 --> 00:48:30,260
And that was the whole point.

1138
00:48:30,260 --> 00:48:33,940
I'd like to say that I think I had a hand in that as well.

1139
00:48:33,940 --> 00:48:34,940
Yes.

1140
00:48:34,940 --> 00:48:39,140
You kept me going to therapy.

1141
00:48:39,140 --> 00:48:40,900
Thank you.

1142
00:48:40,900 --> 00:48:42,340
And I will still continue to go.

1143
00:48:42,340 --> 00:48:45,340
I meet with her next week.

1144
00:48:45,340 --> 00:48:47,340
Oh, God.

1145
00:48:47,340 --> 00:48:50,540
So yes, therapy works, my friends.

1146
00:48:50,540 --> 00:48:57,860
I would also like to say that we, I think, whether you believe in God or not, are put

1147
00:48:57,860 --> 00:49:02,140
in situations that are meant for you.

1148
00:49:02,140 --> 00:49:03,140
Yeah.

1149
00:49:03,140 --> 00:49:11,620
Like God knew that I could not stand the relationships that you had been in or the rejection and get

1150
00:49:11,620 --> 00:49:13,300
back up and do it again.

1151
00:49:13,300 --> 00:49:14,300
He knew you could.

1152
00:49:14,300 --> 00:49:19,700
He knew you were strong enough to be resilient and keep it going and get yourself back out

1153
00:49:19,700 --> 00:49:22,460
there and keep like getting hurt.

1154
00:49:22,460 --> 00:49:23,740
You don't know.

1155
00:49:23,740 --> 00:49:30,860
But I know I would not having watched you and been there.

1156
00:49:30,860 --> 00:49:31,860
There's no way.

1157
00:49:31,860 --> 00:49:32,860
I'm just not that person.

1158
00:49:32,860 --> 00:49:36,740
I'm not that strong in that kind of way.

1159
00:49:36,740 --> 00:49:41,500
And so he gave me Andrew and I was 19 because he's like, you won't be able to handle this.

1160
00:49:41,500 --> 00:49:44,300
Oh, I'm going to give you Andrew when you're 19.

1161
00:49:44,300 --> 00:49:49,860
So you can just, you can just skip all that and Victoria, I'm going to make you as strong

1162
00:49:49,860 --> 00:49:53,340
as an ox.

1163
00:49:53,340 --> 00:49:58,980
But I firmly believe that.

1164
00:49:58,980 --> 00:49:59,980
Do you not?

1165
00:49:59,980 --> 00:50:06,020
I mean, God, the way you're saying it is horrible, but I completely understand your, your life

1166
00:50:06,020 --> 00:50:07,660
lessons are in different ways.

1167
00:50:07,660 --> 00:50:12,940
That's like what you were meant to learn and grow, which is what we said last year that

1168
00:50:12,940 --> 00:50:15,780
like life is just continual lessons.

1169
00:50:15,780 --> 00:50:16,780
Yeah.

1170
00:50:16,780 --> 00:50:21,500
Life's progress and like success is just growth or the same as last year, but whatever for

1171
00:50:21,500 --> 00:50:22,500
you.

1172
00:50:22,500 --> 00:50:24,900
No, but that's, but that's what it is.

1173
00:50:24,900 --> 00:50:29,340
Like your life lessons come in like you've gone through situations that I've never gone

1174
00:50:29,340 --> 00:50:31,980
through and maybe never will.

1175
00:50:31,980 --> 00:50:32,980
Wow.

1176
00:50:32,980 --> 00:50:33,980
Yeah.

1177
00:50:33,980 --> 00:50:36,780
And so maybe that's, I mean, that's, that's how it works.

1178
00:50:36,780 --> 00:50:40,260
Everybody's cards are dealt differently.

1179
00:50:40,260 --> 00:50:44,220
I like how you said it.

1180
00:50:44,220 --> 00:50:49,860
I would like to think my thighs are strong enough to crush a watermelon, you know?

1181
00:50:49,860 --> 00:50:50,860
That's not what I meant.

1182
00:50:50,860 --> 00:50:53,220
I meant you're mentally strong as an ox.

1183
00:50:53,220 --> 00:50:54,220
No, I know.

1184
00:50:54,220 --> 00:50:57,860
And I am not, but that is, and that's something I know about myself.

1185
00:50:57,860 --> 00:51:01,900
I wouldn't be able to handle the situations and relationships that you have been.

1186
00:51:01,900 --> 00:51:05,660
And I firmly believe that we were, we are where we're supposed to be.

1187
00:51:05,660 --> 00:51:06,660
Yeah.

1188
00:51:06,660 --> 00:51:10,020
And what, that's what we said last year.

1189
00:51:10,020 --> 00:51:11,820
What's meant for you will not pass you by.

1190
00:51:11,820 --> 00:51:13,620
Let them, let them.

1191
00:51:13,620 --> 00:51:14,620
All right.

1192
00:51:14,620 --> 00:51:17,340
We're going to rattle through these lessons because these just aren't as important.

1193
00:51:17,340 --> 00:51:18,340
I'm done.

1194
00:51:18,340 --> 00:51:19,340
Okay.

1195
00:51:19,340 --> 00:51:20,340
My lessons are over.

1196
00:51:20,340 --> 00:51:22,300
These are actually, this is one for both of us.

1197
00:51:22,300 --> 00:51:24,980
Your only failure is not to try.

1198
00:51:24,980 --> 00:51:28,900
We are very much a saying no first.

1199
00:51:28,900 --> 00:51:31,780
Somebody gives us an idea and we're like, no, it's not going to work.

1200
00:51:31,780 --> 00:51:33,380
Well, yeah.

1201
00:51:33,380 --> 00:51:35,180
We there it can.

1202
00:51:35,180 --> 00:51:40,020
I think we're very much knowers because we're scared of change.

1203
00:51:40,020 --> 00:51:41,020
Turn around my business?

1204
00:51:41,020 --> 00:51:42,020
Sort of.

1205
00:51:42,020 --> 00:51:43,020
Cause that's really the only way.

1206
00:51:43,020 --> 00:51:44,020
Yeah.

1207
00:51:44,020 --> 00:51:45,020
That's what I'm thinking.

1208
00:51:45,020 --> 00:51:46,020
We're the same with that.

1209
00:51:46,020 --> 00:51:47,020
Yeah.

1210
00:51:47,020 --> 00:51:49,980
So I, yes, I'm thinking like when, you know, Andrew has a great idea.

1211
00:51:49,980 --> 00:51:53,460
And we're like, no, it's not going to work because of this and this and this.

1212
00:51:53,460 --> 00:51:55,700
And he's like, well, why don't you try?

1213
00:51:55,700 --> 00:51:57,740
You shoot him down way faster than I do.

1214
00:51:57,740 --> 00:51:59,460
Cause I try and shoot him down before you do.

1215
00:51:59,460 --> 00:52:01,340
So it looks like it's me and not you.

1216
00:52:01,340 --> 00:52:02,340
That's ridiculous.

1217
00:52:02,340 --> 00:52:05,140
Cause I will always sit on it a little bit longer and be like, well, let me get you

1218
00:52:05,140 --> 00:52:06,980
let me think about it, but you've already shot it down.

1219
00:52:06,980 --> 00:52:07,980
I'm like, all right.

1220
00:52:07,980 --> 00:52:08,980
She said, no.

1221
00:52:08,980 --> 00:52:13,660
So that, yes, I am trying to learn to fail, just fail.

1222
00:52:13,660 --> 00:52:15,060
You also become a demon.

1223
00:52:15,060 --> 00:52:16,060
Yes.

1224
00:52:16,060 --> 00:52:18,820
Your eyes roll and become yellow.

1225
00:52:18,820 --> 00:52:19,820
Family.

1226
00:52:19,820 --> 00:52:22,580
Well, when you work with your family, meetings are not fun for me.

1227
00:52:22,580 --> 00:52:26,220
Oh God, even when he's standing in the studio and you're stepping off stage and he's like,

1228
00:52:26,220 --> 00:52:27,220
hey, how about you?

1229
00:52:27,220 --> 00:52:29,220
And you're like, no.

1230
00:52:29,220 --> 00:52:31,740
And I remember I looked at you and went, it's actually a good idea.

1231
00:52:31,740 --> 00:52:32,740
Make that announcement.

1232
00:52:32,740 --> 00:52:34,140
And you were like, all right, fine.

1233
00:52:34,140 --> 00:52:38,980
I'm like, oh my God, what the hell just happened to her face?

1234
00:52:38,980 --> 00:52:40,700
And the announcement went well and I didn't fail.

1235
00:52:40,700 --> 00:52:42,740
So I'm working on that.

1236
00:52:42,740 --> 00:52:47,900
I have two more.

1237
00:52:47,900 --> 00:52:48,900
My last one's important.

1238
00:52:48,900 --> 00:52:51,780
So I really hope you're still with us.

1239
00:52:51,780 --> 00:52:53,980
This one has an F word in it.

1240
00:52:53,980 --> 00:52:56,260
So I'm going to say F.

1241
00:52:56,260 --> 00:52:57,620
Is it F around and find out?

1242
00:52:57,620 --> 00:52:59,580
No, but I wish it was.

1243
00:52:59,580 --> 00:53:01,340
You cannot be life changing.

1244
00:53:01,340 --> 00:53:03,580
You cannot be a life changing presence.

1245
00:53:03,580 --> 00:53:05,260
You cannot be life changing.

1246
00:53:05,260 --> 00:53:06,260
Sorry.

1247
00:53:06,260 --> 00:53:07,260
We start over.

1248
00:53:07,260 --> 00:53:08,260
You suck.

1249
00:53:08,260 --> 00:53:09,260
Again, again.

1250
00:53:09,260 --> 00:53:14,380
You cannot be a life changing presence to some people without also being a complete effing

1251
00:53:14,380 --> 00:53:16,220
joke to some people.

1252
00:53:16,220 --> 00:53:17,300
Yeah.

1253
00:53:17,300 --> 00:53:19,980
And I don't need you to repeat that.

1254
00:53:19,980 --> 00:53:20,980
Okay.

1255
00:53:20,980 --> 00:53:29,180
I really love this one because it reminds me of like when people say, man, see if it

1256
00:53:29,180 --> 00:53:31,580
really changed my life, blah, blah, blah.

1257
00:53:31,580 --> 00:53:32,580
What do I do?

1258
00:53:32,580 --> 00:53:37,220
I'm not there and I am sometimes just being a joke.

1259
00:53:37,220 --> 00:53:40,380
And like people could say, you're trying too hard.

1260
00:53:40,380 --> 00:53:41,980
You're trying like this, you're that.

1261
00:53:41,980 --> 00:53:46,220
And I'm like, no, I'm just trying to do my best and have fun.

1262
00:53:46,220 --> 00:53:49,420
And what's life changing to those people?

1263
00:53:49,420 --> 00:53:53,420
My presence is some people are making fun of.

1264
00:53:53,420 --> 00:53:54,860
And that is awesome.

1265
00:53:54,860 --> 00:53:55,860
I don't care.

1266
00:53:55,860 --> 00:53:59,420
I've seen that in it's basically the same thing in different way.

1267
00:53:59,420 --> 00:54:02,460
Like I'm, you have to be okay with being the villain in somebody's story.

1268
00:54:02,460 --> 00:54:03,460
Yeah.

1269
00:54:03,460 --> 00:54:04,460
Like how they perceive you.

1270
00:54:04,460 --> 00:54:05,460
How they perceive you.

1271
00:54:05,460 --> 00:54:06,460
That's how you are.

1272
00:54:06,460 --> 00:54:07,460
Yeah.

1273
00:54:07,460 --> 00:54:11,460
So it's, and I think I am a villain in a lot of people's story.

1274
00:54:11,460 --> 00:54:15,460
But yeah, you know, I don't care.

1275
00:54:15,460 --> 00:54:16,740
But that's how they perceive you.

1276
00:54:16,740 --> 00:54:18,380
That's not actually what you are.

1277
00:54:18,380 --> 00:54:19,380
Exactly.

1278
00:54:19,380 --> 00:54:21,780
So if they think you're a joke, let them, let them think you're a joke.

1279
00:54:21,780 --> 00:54:29,060
I am changing lives daily and that is what I'm.

1280
00:54:29,060 --> 00:54:30,060
And that's a joke.

1281
00:54:30,060 --> 00:54:31,060
I'm kidding.

1282
00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:33,180
But what I'm saying is.

1283
00:54:33,180 --> 00:54:35,380
Make them laugh.

1284
00:54:35,380 --> 00:54:36,380
This is how I am.

1285
00:54:36,380 --> 00:54:37,780
I'm awkward.

1286
00:54:37,780 --> 00:54:38,780
I make jokes.

1287
00:54:38,780 --> 00:54:43,580
And if that's not your thing, it might make somebody's day and it might make you angry.

1288
00:54:43,580 --> 00:54:44,700
And I don't care.

1289
00:54:44,700 --> 00:54:49,140
I make awkward, awkward situations even worse.

1290
00:54:49,140 --> 00:54:50,660
And it's not that I'm trying to.

1291
00:54:50,660 --> 00:54:55,420
I, I, it just am.

1292
00:54:55,420 --> 00:55:03,220
Like how they think of you and how that comes across to some, how that comes across to some

1293
00:55:03,220 --> 00:55:04,940
doesn't matter.

1294
00:55:04,940 --> 00:55:06,740
It just doesn't matter.

1295
00:55:06,740 --> 00:55:07,740
And I used to care.

1296
00:55:07,740 --> 00:55:10,260
And that is one that I have learned and I do take an action.

1297
00:55:10,260 --> 00:55:15,460
I don't care if I'm a joke to you because what I think I'm doing is more important than

1298
00:55:15,460 --> 00:55:17,180
how you think of me.

1299
00:55:17,180 --> 00:55:18,180
Yeah.

1300
00:55:18,180 --> 00:55:19,180
Yeah.

1301
00:55:19,180 --> 00:55:20,180
And that's, yeah, I like that one.

1302
00:55:20,180 --> 00:55:21,180
That's great.

1303
00:55:21,180 --> 00:55:22,180
Thank you.

1304
00:55:22,180 --> 00:55:23,180
Pat myself on the back.

1305
00:55:23,180 --> 00:55:24,180
Finally.

1306
00:55:24,180 --> 00:55:25,180
Welcome.

1307
00:55:25,180 --> 00:55:26,180
I'm going to start with Victoria too.

1308
00:55:26,180 --> 00:55:31,100
Well, I didn't sign off on these two first.

1309
00:55:31,100 --> 00:55:35,980
Um, it is never too late to change.

1310
00:55:35,980 --> 00:55:38,900
Is that similar to never too late to start over that from last year?

1311
00:55:38,900 --> 00:55:41,300
No, I'm not starting over.

1312
00:55:41,300 --> 00:55:42,300
I'm not starting over.

1313
00:55:42,300 --> 00:55:43,300
This is different.

1314
00:55:43,300 --> 00:55:44,300
Yeah.

1315
00:55:44,300 --> 00:55:46,820
I don't want to start over and do the same thing and be like, I'm going to do it better

1316
00:55:46,820 --> 00:55:47,820
this time.

1317
00:55:47,820 --> 00:55:49,740
I'm talking about complete change.

1318
00:55:49,740 --> 00:55:53,980
If this is the person I am today and I want to be somebody different tomorrow, it's okay

1319
00:55:53,980 --> 00:55:54,980
to change.

1320
00:55:54,980 --> 00:55:55,980
I'm not doing that.

1321
00:55:55,980 --> 00:55:57,980
Can you put that into action, please?

1322
00:55:57,980 --> 00:56:03,180
No, yeah.

1323
00:56:03,180 --> 00:56:08,260
If you want to learn piano tomorrow, do it.

1324
00:56:08,260 --> 00:56:13,780
But if that's not how you think as a person you should be, no, I'm not a, I'm not the

1325
00:56:13,780 --> 00:56:15,940
piano type of person, but you've always wanted to do it.

1326
00:56:15,940 --> 00:56:16,940
Just do it.

1327
00:56:16,940 --> 00:56:17,940
Change.

1328
00:56:17,940 --> 00:56:18,940
Just change.

1329
00:56:18,940 --> 00:56:19,940
Right.

1330
00:56:19,940 --> 00:56:21,740
And the people around you have to be okay with the change that you're making.

1331
00:56:21,740 --> 00:56:25,420
If you're a really loud person, but you want to be a little more quieter because that's

1332
00:56:25,420 --> 00:56:28,620
really who you are, change or the opposite.

1333
00:56:28,620 --> 00:56:30,420
Ooh, can you do that one?

1334
00:56:30,420 --> 00:56:32,540
No, please bring it down to my level.

1335
00:56:32,540 --> 00:56:33,540
Definitely not how I am.

1336
00:56:33,540 --> 00:56:41,060
I am loud and when I'm quiet, you know something's wrong, but it's never too late to change.

1337
00:56:41,060 --> 00:56:45,540
39, doing fine, 36, pick up stick.

1338
00:56:45,540 --> 00:56:48,420
That's what I get.

1339
00:56:48,420 --> 00:56:50,940
You're still able to pick up sticks at 36.

1340
00:56:50,940 --> 00:56:51,940
That's the point.

1341
00:56:51,940 --> 00:56:52,940
There you go.

1342
00:56:52,940 --> 00:56:53,940
There you go.

1343
00:56:53,940 --> 00:56:54,940
Right there.

1344
00:56:54,940 --> 00:56:55,940
But yes, it's never too late to change.

1345
00:56:55,940 --> 00:56:56,940
I like that.

1346
00:56:56,940 --> 00:56:59,340
Well, that was like a, that was a twofold.

1347
00:56:59,340 --> 00:57:03,740
You're never too late to change and also don't care what other people think.

1348
00:57:03,740 --> 00:57:04,740
It kind of goes with the last one.

1349
00:57:04,740 --> 00:57:06,020
It goes with all of them.

1350
00:57:06,020 --> 00:57:10,420
Don't care what people think if you think that it's something they can't handle.

1351
00:57:10,420 --> 00:57:12,660
You think that they think is what you think.

1352
00:57:12,660 --> 00:57:13,820
Is what I think.

1353
00:57:13,820 --> 00:57:14,820
It's what you think.

1354
00:57:14,820 --> 00:57:15,820
I think.

1355
00:57:15,820 --> 00:57:16,820
What do you think?

1356
00:57:16,820 --> 00:57:17,820
Yeah, that's true.

1357
00:57:17,820 --> 00:57:18,820
That's so true.

1358
00:57:18,820 --> 00:57:19,820
I agree.

1359
00:57:19,820 --> 00:57:20,820
I agree.

1360
00:57:20,820 --> 00:57:22,260
Half of these I do.

1361
00:57:22,260 --> 00:57:23,620
Half of these I don't do.

1362
00:57:23,620 --> 00:57:27,020
So next year I will do a re-listen.

1363
00:57:27,020 --> 00:57:28,580
Oh, it's five and four.

1364
00:57:28,580 --> 00:57:32,340
So which, which actually like next year will be five and five.

1365
00:57:32,340 --> 00:57:33,900
Five and five.

1366
00:57:33,900 --> 00:57:36,220
We hope you do this too.

1367
00:57:36,220 --> 00:57:38,420
I think you should do it before every birthday.

1368
00:57:38,420 --> 00:57:40,460
Sherry, what's up Sherry?

1369
00:57:40,460 --> 00:57:46,980
Is the one that introduced this to us to do it last year because Sherry does this and

1370
00:57:46,980 --> 00:57:49,540
you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm not going to error that.

1371
00:57:49,540 --> 00:57:53,580
You told me I was wrong, but you can DM me.

1372
00:57:53,580 --> 00:57:57,700
She does this every year and saves them and learns more from that.

1373
00:57:57,700 --> 00:58:00,180
Like she looks back on her birthday every year.

1374
00:58:00,180 --> 00:58:04,220
You didn't tell me that part that I had to look back and see what I said.

1375
00:58:04,220 --> 00:58:05,380
This is way more fun.

1376
00:58:05,380 --> 00:58:06,380
Okay.

1377
00:58:06,380 --> 00:58:11,820
This is way more fun to do it blind.

1378
00:58:11,820 --> 00:58:16,300
But I think that's, that's such a great thing to do, especially in your 20s.

1379
00:58:16,300 --> 00:58:17,300
Yeah.

1380
00:58:17,300 --> 00:58:24,620
If I knew now then what I know now and I don't know anything now, I just know more than I

1381
00:58:24,620 --> 00:58:25,620
did then.

1382
00:58:25,620 --> 00:58:26,620
Yeah.

1383
00:58:26,620 --> 00:58:30,260
It would have been, maybe things that have been different, but at the same time, it's

1384
00:58:30,260 --> 00:58:34,700
not, it's worked out the exactly it should work out like your words.

1385
00:58:34,700 --> 00:58:37,260
No, they never work out.

1386
00:58:37,260 --> 00:58:38,940
It's worked out exactly how it should be.

1387
00:58:38,940 --> 00:58:40,460
We're right where we need to be.

1388
00:58:40,460 --> 00:58:43,180
Everybody is where you are right now is exactly where you need to be.

1389
00:58:43,180 --> 00:58:46,700
And if it's in a bad spot, where you need to be, where you need to be, get out of it.

1390
00:58:46,700 --> 00:58:47,700
Get out of it.

1391
00:58:47,700 --> 00:58:48,700
You know, no one's coming to save you.

1392
00:58:48,700 --> 00:58:50,980
You got to figure it out.

1393
00:58:50,980 --> 00:58:51,980
So, bish?

1394
00:58:51,980 --> 00:58:52,980
He said bish.

1395
00:58:52,980 --> 00:58:53,980
Swish, swish, bish.

1396
00:58:53,980 --> 00:59:01,020
So yeah, thank you, Sherry.

1397
00:59:01,020 --> 00:59:07,060
And also, you know, thank you to all of you who have stuck with us for this because listening

1398
00:59:07,060 --> 00:59:10,620
to other people's lessons can sometimes be like, that's nice.

1399
00:59:10,620 --> 00:59:15,900
But if this, anything resonated with you, take it, take it, run with it, put some action

1400
00:59:15,900 --> 00:59:16,900
into it.

1401
00:59:16,900 --> 00:59:19,060
That's your real tip and your real extra tip with this.

1402
00:59:19,060 --> 00:59:25,860
Put some action to anything that you have kind of put a grip on with what we said.

1403
00:59:25,860 --> 00:59:31,300
And this goes for us too because it's always nice to get the reinforcement for that.

1404
00:59:31,300 --> 00:59:32,300
I agree.

1405
00:59:32,300 --> 00:59:34,900
Like you've repeated some things because I think you still need to repeat them.

1406
00:59:34,900 --> 00:59:35,900
Yeah, you know.

1407
00:59:35,900 --> 00:59:38,100
So still learning.

1408
00:59:38,100 --> 00:59:41,100
And so if that resonated for you, take it.

1409
00:59:41,100 --> 00:59:44,020
Maybe you know, we have a couple more months left of 2024.

1410
00:59:44,020 --> 00:59:49,660
It's crazy because I feel like we were just doing our, what's your intention this year?

1411
00:59:49,660 --> 00:59:51,300
And then we did a six month.

1412
00:59:51,300 --> 00:59:53,020
That feels like yesterday.

1413
00:59:53,020 --> 00:59:58,660
I will say that if you can ever see those things online, which is what people say on

1414
00:59:58,660 --> 01:00:00,860
their deathbed, I know that sounds really grim.

1415
01:00:00,860 --> 01:00:06,620
But if you read what people say on their deathbed, that's what I like to read and go off of because

1416
01:00:06,620 --> 01:00:12,220
I'm like, my God, this is what I don't want to be saying these things when I die.

1417
01:00:12,220 --> 01:00:13,500
I wish I had lived more.

1418
01:00:13,500 --> 01:00:17,900
I wish I had stopped, worked less and been more with my family.

1419
01:00:17,900 --> 01:00:19,180
I wish I had done this.

1420
01:00:19,180 --> 01:00:23,820
Like take what they're saying and think, do I do this?

1421
01:00:23,820 --> 01:00:28,820
And I like, as much as I don't like death, I like reading those things, being like, yeah,

1422
01:00:28,820 --> 01:00:33,540
I don't want to be at that place thinking, man, I really wish.

1423
01:00:33,540 --> 01:00:34,780
No, just do it.

1424
01:00:34,780 --> 01:00:36,300
Like do it now.

1425
01:00:36,300 --> 01:00:39,460
When you're before you're over the hill.

1426
01:00:39,460 --> 01:00:43,020
My God, remember that revelation was such a long time ago.

1427
01:00:43,020 --> 01:00:44,900
It was like an hour ago.

1428
01:00:44,900 --> 01:00:45,900
Wow.

1429
01:00:45,900 --> 01:00:46,900
Well, yep, hour and six.

1430
01:00:46,900 --> 01:00:49,900
Oh, my God.

1431
01:00:49,900 --> 01:00:50,900
Happy birthday to us.

1432
01:00:50,900 --> 01:00:53,220
Happy birthday to everybody in October.

1433
01:00:53,220 --> 01:00:57,100
Happy birthday whenever you listen and happy birthday on your actual birthday when you

1434
01:00:57,100 --> 01:01:01,500
should also be making your list of revelations.

1435
01:01:01,500 --> 01:01:04,900
You're all inclusive all the time, radically.

1436
01:01:04,900 --> 01:01:11,580
So with that said, we hope you feel fit to be real and always allowed to be the most

1437
01:01:11,580 --> 01:01:13,380
extra.

1438
01:01:13,380 --> 01:01:14,380
Changing it up.

1439
01:01:14,380 --> 01:01:15,380
I love it.

1440
01:01:15,380 --> 01:01:16,380
Hey, except my change.

1441
01:01:16,380 --> 01:01:17,380
Okay.

1442
01:01:17,380 --> 01:01:26,620
For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and

1443
01:01:26,620 --> 01:01:28,420
educational purposes only.

1444
01:01:28,420 --> 01:01:30,620
We are not healthcare professionals.

1445
01:01:30,620 --> 01:01:34,740
For all of your health, wellness, fitness and self care needs, please refer to the medical

1446
01:01:34,740 --> 01:01:39,860
professional in your life, your primary care physician, your therapist, a certified coach,

1447
01:01:39,860 --> 01:01:41,540
whoever it may be.

1448
01:01:41,540 --> 01:01:45,580
And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to do.

1449
01:01:45,580 --> 01:01:46,580
Okay?

1450
01:01:46,580 --> 01:02:14,660
Okay, bye.