1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,680 Welcome to fit to be real and a little extra. Happy October. Oh, it's the best month of the year 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,160 It's the most wonderful 3 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:17,100 The year so she's gonna say this again in December. I know I just I love the holiday season 4 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,920 Yeah, the well so then October to what January? 5 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:27,240 December 26. Oh, yeah, we don't like that last week. No, okay 6 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:31,640 Why don't we like the last week remember I talked about this last year. It's just depressing to me 7 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:38,240 It's like the hype and the excitement of Christmas is over in the 26. It's like dreary for the next three months 8 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,000 I'm not a like New Year's fan. So 9 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,240 It's just like well 10 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:50,840 It's a downer. Yeah, I do remember talking about that 11 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:56,320 Don't you remember everything I said in the past year you would think because I have to listen to everything twice 12 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,400 But somehow I'm still this is 13 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,800 It is October it's our birthday month 14 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:09,840 It's also spooky season and so for all those reasons it is the best and the weather's finally getting colder 15 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:14,560 Finally, yeah, I can remember times when we were a kid on our birthday 16 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:19,520 Which is the end of October. We're just one kid. Yeah, we're just one kid 17 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,520 Well, we work together 18 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:26,520 We hang out together our birthdays are five days apart. That's one adult 19 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:32,240 I don't know how else we could be intertwined but when we were one kid growing up 20 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:37,760 Hmm, and it would be so warm and you're trying to go to Lin villa 21 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:42,280 And there's bees every Lin villa is like the pumpkin patch in our area like bees everywhere 22 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,440 And you're like sweating trying to wear 23 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:49,480 The October clothes that you've been wanting to wear, but it's 90. Yeah, and in the 90s 24 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:54,760 It was like a turtleneck and overalls. Yes with you know, we love overalls 25 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,280 pig tails. Um, ah 26 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:01,840 Let's bring it back. I had a white turtleneck with yellow smiley faces on it. Do you remember that? 27 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:06,640 I do remember that. Yeah, it was very you and that would be in style right now 28 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:13,080 Let's bring it back. Let's bring it back. Love it. I think Justin Bieber did actually 29 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:22,720 Justin no, we're not I know I I I want to do a whole episode on conspiracy theories in Hollywood Hollywood because I've been reading a lot about 30 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,240 all of them 31 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,720 Recently obviously everybody has because of 32 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:35,000 The P. Diddy the man who must not be named. I know that's how I want to refer to him as but that you said his name though 33 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,000 I didn't I said one of his ten 34 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,200 pseudonyms 35 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:44,320 That's not none of those words. It just came out of your mouth. Hold on. This is the problem 36 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,920 You are all witness to oh 37 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:53,400 My god the daily struggle is that was that the right word a pseudonym? 38 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,840 P. Diddy. I'm I'm we're moving on. I'm not even I'm not even addressing it 39 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:04,200 Okay, what are we talking about today more scary things? 40 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,720 Like what goes on in my brain on the daily 41 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:16,800 We're talking about spooky season but in the sense of the psychology and the science behind 42 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,720 recreational fear 43 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:25,880 Which is what we do when we watch horror films or I prefer thrillers than horror 44 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,840 Well or true crime my kids they call it horror film 45 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,720 Horror horror because they speak like they're not from Delco 46 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,480 I don't know why I think it's the television shows that they watch I think it's your husband 47 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:42,040 But yeah a little bit it's that but I say horror and they say horror 48 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:46,120 So I constantly asked Dean to say horror movie and he's like horror movie 49 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,160 The Dijkman's on their horse 50 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:55,400 But yes anyway, we're talking about horror movies 51 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:03,800 In the forest it's so hard. It's amazing that we're making fun of people who are speaking correctly. It's not correct 52 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:06,680 So 53 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,680 I'm not a I'm not a 54 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:15,800 Scary movie person neither am I like suspense like River Wild. Let's bring it back. That's like a big deal to me 55 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:22,080 I actually I can't watch that anymore after having kids. I can't you know, I had to stop watching Law and Order SVU 56 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,720 After I had kids Law and Order SVU 57 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:30,400 But that's scary to me because that's real that can really happen River Wild 58 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:35,840 Yeah, you might see Kevin Bacon on the River Wild and that could really 59 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:42,400 River Wild not Meryl Streep. Nah, she not likely Kevin Bacon though 60 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:47,040 The I'm gonna say this wrong M night Shyamalan 61 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:53,920 Milanon videos. How do you say his last name M night Shyamalan? Yeah, as I said, I 62 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,720 Can watch the sixth sense with anxiety 63 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:03,120 But anything after that I was unable to watch like signs is so hard for me to watch 64 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,120 see 65 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:10,440 Yeah, I'm I will say things like things like signs 66 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:14,400 No, thanks, but I do like signs, so I'm a little all over the place 67 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:20,640 But that's suspense right and I guess what constitutes horror. I think that's blood. That's gore 68 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:26,880 That's obviously thriller and suspense, but it's it's got a different psychological effect to it 69 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:35,120 Right thriller and suspense films. I guess like any M night Shyamalan movie. It's not so much about the visual 70 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:42,400 The effect of blood and gore and gore. Yeah, and it's more about the mind games 71 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:49,480 Thriller aspect. Yeah, so I do like signs all of them. I watch behind a pillow 72 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:54,480 Right, there's nothing. I'm sitting here strongly being like I enjoy this 73 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:59,080 It's it's the aftermath and we're gonna talk about why that happens why you hate it in the moment 74 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,360 Why you like it after the fact and why you keep coming back for more sweet 75 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,360 Sweet horror 76 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,520 Let's get into it 77 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,360 I'm Victoria. Hey guys, I'm Carly 78 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,080 Very good. Thanks. I 79 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,560 Think the scariest movie I've ever 80 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,520 Mmm as I said that I just thought of a second one the two scariest movies I've ever watched are 81 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:33,440 Are very different and I would never watch them again 82 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,600 Oh, why am I distinctly remember watching it and won't get into the details 83 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:42,380 But it was during the day because it's the only way I agreed to watch it and it was the Hills have eyes. Oh 84 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,840 I 85 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:51,560 Actually don't remember so much of it because I think I left my body like I it was so scary for me 86 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:58,440 That I might yeah, I can't think about it and then the other one is split. Oh 87 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,840 I've never seen that 88 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,840 Why did you watch that? 89 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:07,520 None of these were voluntary on my own. I was asked to hey 90 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:14,520 Do you want to watch this and I said no? Yeah, I was gonna say immediate. No, yeah, but didn't didn't work out that way 91 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,920 Split was scary to me because it's so 92 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,560 Oh 93 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,680 Real yeah, right having split personalities if that's what it's about and so 94 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:31,680 That was recent I think so yeah in the past couple years. I think so. Yeah, I don't know much about it 95 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:37,760 I remember being angry. So my response to fear is anger. Oh, I know because when our uncle 96 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,200 uncles 97 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,200 Asks us to watch don't look up 98 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:47,360 You left so did you went to bed true? I know but you left the house 99 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:52,560 Yes, I said goodbye. I don't live here. I'm leaving wasn't don't look up that that was like no 100 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:59,240 That was George Clooney. Yeah, I think that was a good one. Nope the movie nope. Nope. Yep. Yep 101 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,320 Toria nope 102 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:05,800 Victoria said nope and she got up halfway through and left and I had to go upstairs to my room 103 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:11,880 Because we were in my basement and I was like I can't do this anymore. Yeah, it's such a 104 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,560 physical like I 105 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:20,100 Don't know hormonal rush of fear that it's it becomes unbearable 106 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,040 But the hill so something like the hills have eyes 107 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:29,360 It was like I couldn't watch it because it was so was it gory. Oh my yeah, I can't watch gore 108 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:35,640 I can't watch gore beyond the beyond from what I remember and then the psychological thrillers of 109 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,720 you know multiple personality disorder or 110 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:46,600 Just how they write the scripts I can't handle that either that is more likely to happen in my mind in my 111 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,560 mentally 112 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,280 You know stable or unstable stable mind 113 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:59,200 The hills have eyes is not likely to happen in life 114 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,360 Split personalities and sort of no, I haven't 115 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:10,640 Split personalities and sort of schizophrenia and stuff like that is into me is more likely to happen 116 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:17,280 Yes, but let me ruin your thought process because you like true crime. I love murder and 117 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,120 I love murder daughter true crime couldn't be more real 118 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:28,620 Like yes, there's stories on podcasts that we listen to while we're running in at night or maybe that's just me 119 00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:33,460 No, I did it this morning right in the dark. That's the morning, but it is not light out 120 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:38,780 But they're they happened like the people that you're listening about 121 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:45,660 It they're real people. It's not fake. I know and there's a reason that I when researching this I 122 00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:49,660 Think I figured out why I like it so much because I'm always like oh my gosh 123 00:09:49,660 --> 00:09:53,840 I'm scared of life. Why the heck do I like this? I I figured it out. Yeah, it's control 124 00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:56,740 No 125 00:09:56,740 --> 00:10:04,460 You sure I'm preparing myself for it to happen to me. Yes control preparation. Well, yeah, I guess preparation H. Yeah 126 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,020 So 127 00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:12,580 The science of recreational fear, which I just like how that sounds because that's what it is. We're doing it 128 00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:20,040 For fun. We're doing it for fun to ourselves voluntarily for fun. See it's like I love a jump scare 129 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:27,400 But I am I need to do the most preparation in my brain to go to a haunted house or a haunted hayride 130 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:34,720 Or something like that, but I but I go I haven't gone in years, but I've gone to the adrenaline rush 131 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:40,220 So it's this adrenaline rush and it's the opportunity to learn about dealing with 132 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:45,920 Situations in safe environments. So there's something to the aspect of knowing that you're not actually going to die 133 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:51,040 Right, even though it doesn't feel like that in the moment, right? The back of your brain knows that you're safe 134 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,560 Know is that their actors knows that you paid for this, right? 135 00:10:54,560 --> 00:11:00,960 And so in the long run, you're going to be okay. You just have to get through this momentary 136 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,720 adrenaline rush 137 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:09,400 Yeah, that as a kid we used to have our birthday parties because our birthdays in October 138 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,640 We used to have birthday parties at the haunted houses 139 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:18,920 Like our staff of farms our staff of farms the haunted corn maze like you'd have to go through a corn maze in the dark and there would be 140 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:26,080 Scarecrow's jumping out at you like I did that one year and I I didn't like being scared back then 141 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,400 But I liked that because I knew I guess 142 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,440 Subliminally knew I was safe. I wasn't going to die 143 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:35,960 tonight 144 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,520 Yes 145 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:42,520 Yes, I don't have that gauge of knowing that I don't think really I really don't 146 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:51,600 Think so in the moment after the fact I can like laugh about it to a degree and it takes like a lot 147 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,640 but I 148 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,920 truly I remember remember we went to um a 149 00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:03,880 College around here our cousin went to it new man's a haunted house new man. Yeah, and he well not everybody knows Newman 150 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:07,800 So I was just saying college. Oh, I thought you couldn't remember it. No, no, no just describing it 151 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:12,680 You're acting was great. There was a cop with an acting and he was dressed as this 152 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,800 Death, you know all black 153 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:20,720 Cloaks and whatever and he sat at door and I'm screaming bloody murder in his face 154 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:25,920 He's literally looking at me going Victoria. It's Jody. It's and I'm like 155 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:32,440 Like I couldn't separate. Yeah what I was seeing and I certainly wasn't listening and 156 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:38,160 I think I'm the same way still. Yeah, I was like what seven. I don't remember how we were get little 157 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:42,160 Yeah, yeah, we were a little and there's a there's a piece of it. I 158 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:48,760 Cannot in the moment. I can't feel that I'm actually safe 159 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:54,520 I cannot go this is an actor this it's okay. Everything's okay. I can't do that. I can't do that either 160 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:58,680 I think some people can those same uncles that made us watch nope 161 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,320 just made me go to a 162 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,840 escape room escape room it 163 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:07,560 No, no 164 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:12,440 Yes, I did. No, I know I'm saying absolutely. Oh, I was like I just went I told you about it 165 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:18,920 No, I would not walk in. Yeah, so it was an it and so there is a clown following you throughout each room 166 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:24,120 But a scary one. Oh my gosh. I mean it's Vegas. So it is Hollywood style escape room 167 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,120 It's not just like one room you try to get out 168 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:32,440 It's like six rooms you try to get out while there's somebody chasing you. Yeah, no and it was brutal 169 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:36,880 You did another one too. Saul. Yeah, no Saul escape so those same locals 170 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:42,240 Took me to a Saul escape room because they very very very much enjoy 171 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:47,040 Horror and they very much enjoy watching me go through horror 172 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:52,760 There I can't stop hearing horror. I know they love watching me go through horrors 173 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,760 Oh 174 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:56,760 That's a different 175 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,640 So there's uh, they are what I believe 176 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:05,160 Are white knucklers and we'll we'll talk about what that is. There's three different types of 177 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:09,480 Horror fans. Okay, and that's why they like it but really quickly 178 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,960 What happens to the body because this is super important from 179 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,320 Gathering the why to all of this what happens to the body and the brain 180 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,960 is the reason why 181 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:27,480 The people that like it keep coming back and the people that don't like it know their limits 182 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:34,040 And it's when you're afraid our endocrine system releases adrenaline 183 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,680 nor adrenaline and 184 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:42,040 Cortisol to prepare the body for danger. So it's that fight or flight. It's it's you know 185 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:50,040 We have that natural instinct for fear and danger and it's how we've survived all these years 186 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,960 But after the rush of all of these things 187 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,960 It's a good feeling right like the body goes through this 188 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:03,240 This rush of good. Yeah dopamine hit as I was searching for yes 189 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,800 so adrenaline 190 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,920 Really quickly because I am someone and maybe you're like me 191 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,520 I know the words, but I don't know the words right right? 192 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:18,840 So adrenaline is just rushes of blood throughout the system your heart beats faster your lungs feel like you can't really breathe 193 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,840 It's that's the body 194 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,200 Kind of if you think of it as like the electrical 195 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:30,680 Electrical wires all through your body. They're like going off. They're blinking. They're lighting up. They're doing all the things 196 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,240 So that's what we feel the nor adrenaline 197 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,120 Which is actually something I I didn't know 198 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,600 It acts as a neurotransmitter 199 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,520 So signals from the brain and a hormone. Oh 200 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,720 And it regulates 201 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,160 arousal attention 202 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:53,160 Cognitive function and stress reactions 203 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,880 So when I read that I was like, okay 204 00:15:56,440 --> 00:16:02,120 Well, what does that mean? And I think that's nor adrenaline and somebody please write in and tell me that I'm wrong 205 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:08,440 But I think when I I've read the word arousal, that's where the serial killers like if they have too much 206 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,320 Yes, this one is where it's like a good thing and that's why 207 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:17,320 They go too far and it's just wired in them and it's you know, all that stuff. Mm-hmm. So 208 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:24,440 Well, there's parts of this that are just a little bit scary. It sounds right to me. So you know me if it sounds right 209 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:28,840 So it's totally right. It's totally right. And then cortisol. We know it's our stress hormone, right? 210 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:36,520 Right, that's daily stress. And then in this case, it's a high level of a cortisol hormonal rush to the system 211 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:41,720 So when we go through these jump scares, which I love is like a term. Well, all the kids know it 212 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:47,160 Jump scare. I have a big Halloween party. This is my second time having it and we have a haunted house and melody 213 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:52,280 Last year we had two jump scares in the haunted house in my backyard and melody has already told me 214 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:57,960 I want to walk through without the jump scares. Oh and so they know those words like that's a kid 215 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:02,840 I think it's a trending kid phrase to like, oh, yeah, yeah, I like that but no jump scares 216 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:07,720 I like to talk to her normally and then all of a sudden I scare her and she gets so 217 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:14,360 Flustered and she doesn't get mad, but she gets flustered. Yeah, and then I keep doing it to her because she thinks I'm 218 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:20,360 I'm not gonna do it anymore and then she gets mad. Well, she is very much like me in that we do not like 219 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,920 scary things. Lewis 220 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,720 Once blood coming out of his eyes at all times. Yeah 221 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:29,000 Melody and I don't like I don't like jump scares 222 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,000 Boom 223 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,720 But I yeah, I don't like them. Yeah 224 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:40,120 Well, because all of that rush your body with all the rush of adrenaline and all the things we just named 225 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:47,320 It's too much. It's way too much for your system. I'm exhausted afterwards. I was exhausted after the escape room 226 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,520 Yep, totally and I had anxiety for a week 227 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:56,760 Knowing I was going because the body like keeps it all. Yeah, it keeps the score of what you went through 228 00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,920 So imagine if you never go to therapy and you never heal and it just like stays like that 229 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:06,360 Part of that had nothing to do with you, but now that I'm staring at you that was directed right 230 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:10,280 I was like I can't tell if you're being sarcastic towards me or not 231 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,480 No, okay, but hold on. Let me just finish the science behind it 232 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,920 So with these jump scares they increase the activity in our amygdala 233 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:23,160 And that is the it's like a little tiny almond shape thing in our brain. Why are you laughing because say that word again? 234 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:26,120 No, say it again amygdala say it again 235 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:31,800 No, oh my god. That's that's like not a word. It's being weird the part of the brain that's responsible 236 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:34,520 for detecting and responding to danger 237 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,240 so 238 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:41,560 That it increases that activity because it's trying to figure out how we respond to this. Are we okay? 239 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:46,040 Are we safe? Where do we go? What do we do and everything else is also rushing at the same time 240 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,960 But our negative emotions are stored in the amygdala. Eugh, so 241 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:56,680 They fight that a little bit and that's why I can continue to affect you right for longer, you know 242 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,240 lingering effects 243 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,480 so that that's the 244 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:06,360 The medical terms when it comes to what is happening 245 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,240 To feel that like I get 246 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,840 I feel like heat like yeah, how do you get hot? Well, some people 247 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:20,600 Use that in their life as like that's what they look for. They are adrenaline like that's adrenaline junkies. Yeah. Yeah. Well, okay 248 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,240 Here we go. Yeah, let's do it 249 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:27,080 So there are three types of horror fans adrenaline junkie 250 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,560 white knuckles and dark 251 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,040 coppers 252 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:36,600 You're making this up. No, it was in that I sent you articles. I know but I'm sorry 253 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,600 adrenaline junkies white knuckles dark coppers copers 254 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,600 copers copers 255 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,320 what 256 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:53,400 The adrenaline junkies are you get like a mood boost from it from the fear I heard a moosh boosh 257 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,880 I don't know what you said 258 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:03,240 And I actually don't know what an amuse-boosh is but that's what I heard. That's what it is. Okay. That's what it is 259 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,120 So it's that dopamine hit afterwards 260 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:11,160 The dopamine rush that you get after all of the adrenaline and the fear and all of that 261 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:16,520 Dopamine is our feel-good hormone. So that is what they're kind of chasing. Okay 262 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:22,840 And it's as simple as that like there's nothing else attached to it really. I am not one white knuckles 263 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:29,720 They kind of it's they quoted this lean out term. They lean out which just means they 264 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,880 I think it's like our uncles that you're talking about they find it like funny 265 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:38,040 Yeah, they think it's funny to watch other people scared too. So 266 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:44,600 There's white knuckles have this thing like a sweet spot. So they're looking for the sweet spot to be scared 267 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,680 I read that and so that's good 268 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:52,840 Just acknowledge that I know what the sweet spot of fear is. That's good. That's good. Yeah. So too much fear is 269 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:54,600 just 270 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,400 Plain anxiety not enough fear is boring to them 271 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:03,160 But that sweet spot is where it's like they can feel that adrenaline rush. Right. So I guess white knuckles 272 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:09,320 To me white knuckles like you're you're gripping so hard that it's you're here, but that's not how it's described 273 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:18,280 All right, so they find they find the situation funny and I am so the opposite. Oh my god. I'm I'm what you call a dark chocolate coper 274 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,720 What's it called? 275 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,960 I I don't know if you're actually this 276 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:26,840 because a dark coper 277 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,840 uses 278 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:35,160 The fear and the situation to help deal with anxieties about the world or within their own world and themselves 279 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:39,480 I think that I am and I think you are too and I think what that means is 280 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:46,360 What I'd said before I you like the reason I enjoy murder podcasts and watching 281 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,080 like documentaries about 282 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:54,440 You know serial killers and stuff like that is so that I can prepare myself, right if I ever like my 283 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:59,960 I anxieties I can sort of ease my anxieties by saying okay if this happens 284 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:06,120 I know how to prepare myself and I know how to try and get out of that situation. That's how I took that 285 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:10,040 Yeah, so no, I don't enjoy it, but it 286 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,360 a little bit 287 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,360 relieves my anxiety 288 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:20,360 As if I if I didn't know how to get out of a situation like that. I would have more anxiety about it, right? 289 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,440 But I'm preparing myself 290 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,760 Because I know somebody's gonna murder me 291 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:31,480 You know, I've said that since I was little that is not true. You have not said it since you were little 292 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:36,200 You've said it since New York. Well, that was 20 years ago, but that was not little 293 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:37,800 so 294 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:38,920 hmm 295 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:42,760 Uh, I guess I think that is a way that you could describe that the dark coper 296 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:47,880 I took it a little differently when I read it. Okay. How'd you take it? Which is that they're 297 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,520 like there's so much anxiety 298 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,800 And stuff that they're they have within them. Oh 299 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:55,720 which 300 00:22:55,720 --> 00:23:03,480 Everybody does right, but they look for a more concrete threat. They look for something else to focus on 301 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:09,800 To regulate their their system and they're you know to overcome a fear and stuff like that 302 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:16,520 Yeah, no, that's similar. It's it's similar, but it's I think there's an umbrella, right? Nothing is ever a cookie cutter 303 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:22,040 So I've Ella. Hey, hey under my umbrella 304 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,560 You're scary in a different way 305 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,920 But yeah, but the one thing in all of the things that I have read 306 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:38,680 Is that horror fans are psychologically resilient? Oh, that was a good thing. Oh, yeah 307 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:43,960 Yeah, so there's something when you say Lewis just likes blood and oh my god guts and stuff 308 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:49,560 He does he likes to draw it. Yes. He he can control that 309 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,920 Because he's creating it right right if you were watching something 310 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:58,520 He wouldn't sleep for days correct so because he's a highly sensitive kid correct 311 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,560 And so we're gonna talk about why you may not actually 312 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,840 Like it because his I think psychological resilience is not actually very high 313 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:12,280 Right, but horror horror fans usually are he's like he's never seen these movies 314 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:17,480 But for Halloween, he's not going to be any of these but for Halloween. He was like I want to be the scream guy 315 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:22,200 I want to be Jason. I want to be Freddy Krueger. He's never seen these movies 316 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,400 He's only seen pictures and has drawn all these people 317 00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:28,680 But he's never seen the movies, but he loves that 318 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:33,960 It's just scary to look at. Oh my gosh. So scary. So interesting. But yeah, I don't know why 319 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000 so that's 320 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:38,680 horror 321 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:44,440 Okay, that's the the actual scary movies that come out this season every year 322 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,240 That just keep getting to me worse and worse 323 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:52,840 Well side note you had said before that people that like horror films are more resilient 324 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,320 I keep getting the same 325 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:59,960 Meme sent to me by different people because everybody knows that we like true crime 326 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,240 This was sent to me by Andrew sister my sister-in-law 327 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:09,720 Psychologist warns it's a major red flag to relax by enjoying true crime. Yes 328 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,080 But I'm resilient 329 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:14,600 No, oh 330 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,600 I think that's for horror 331 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:21,560 Oh jump scares like true crime doesn't necessarily have jump scares, right? It's just like no no no no 332 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:27,720 I'm just like telling you a story about a really bad person doing a really bad thing and and you get like the 333 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:30,120 The background of it all and you learn 334 00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:35,320 So true crime I think is a little bit different and I've heard this red flag thing. I keep getting it sent to me 335 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,520 So that's mel robbins had dr 336 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,720 Bryant melly melly are 337 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,600 had um 338 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:50,040 A woman on that talked about this and I think that's where that meme is coming from. Oh because she said 339 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:56,840 That it's it's completely unhealthy if you at the end of the day go home and put on a true crime 340 00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:02,840 Whether it's long order svu or 2020. Yeah, or I'm listening to a 2020 podcast right now 341 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,560 I did this morning. Yeah while I worked out. I love it 342 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:11,960 But it yeah, she said this doctor said that the trauma portrayed in the series of a true crime is 343 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:16,840 Familiar to you and that's why it's a red flag, right? So it's more 344 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:21,080 discomfort to sit in peace because that 345 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:26,440 Is scarier than to sit in the chaos. Yes. Yes of something 346 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:33,240 Maybe it's um your childhood trauma the environment you grew up in maybe you also had the abusive 347 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,800 You know parent parental figure 348 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:41,960 So there's so much that feels normal. Do you know what's interesting and I'm just realizing this now I 349 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:46,600 Used to work for somebody in New York whose brother 350 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:51,080 Elizabeth wouldn't care if I talked about this her brother was the boy in the bubble 351 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:55,800 Well, that was based off the movie if you've ever heard the boy in the bubble movie 352 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,440 It was based off her brother. He lived in 353 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,920 This bubble because he had no immune system. So that was her brother 354 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:09,560 That's how she lived he died very young and he died when she was very young and she was obsessed 355 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:11,880 with death 356 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,120 That's yeah, that's and I'm putting this together 357 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:19,000 Every she would watch the shining at noon in the afternoon. No problem 358 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:23,960 She would she loved scary movies. She loved death and that's why yeah 359 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:28,360 Because she could have gone the other way when her brother died, but instead she went towards it 360 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:34,440 Right, so you could be completely afraid of it right or no. So she uh, what's it called you? 361 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,160 Her trauma of death 362 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,720 She leaned into it. That's crazy 363 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,560 Yeah, not necessarily. I mean it could be healthy 364 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:48,280 Yeah, it could not be healthy. So that that goes for anybody's situation. There's a 365 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,440 Uh, I went to a cemetery for some sort of market 366 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:58,520 And then I looked into what they offer throughout this whole season and every weekend's like a different spooky something, right? 367 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,400 One of the events is a one night only 368 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:05,240 I forget what they called it. It's like a death cafe. Oh 369 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,640 See, I like that 370 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,640 I don't know. I don't know 371 00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:12,120 It's not scary 372 00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:18,680 It's different tables and different opportunities for you to go and talk freely about death. Oh people wait. No, I don't like that 373 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:25,240 So it's grappling and understanding the concept and being able to talk freely and openly about it not necessarily how to 374 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,120 Do it and how to kill and but just 375 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:30,200 death as 376 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:34,360 As a concept as a theory as something that maybe you're going through it right now 377 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,240 And it's so interesting because I read that and I was like 378 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:39,720 what? 379 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,720 But it's not something that we talk about 380 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:49,400 No, I am that is my biggest fear in life and I never want to talk about it death openly. Oh my god. I'm so scared of dying 381 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,560 Why oh my it's like I don't want to do it 382 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:58,120 And I don't talk about this and I never am not surprised. I don't want to do it 383 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:02,920 I don't want to handle it. So I definitely don't want to talk about it with other people. Yeah 384 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:08,600 Yeah, because why oh my god, why come to terms with it? All right, we're gonna. I can't even touch that 385 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:15,480 I can't even touch it. So the love of true crime the people that like it there are different reasons why so maybe you fall under 386 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:19,480 Any of these options you grow up in a high stress situation or environment 387 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:25,960 And that's what we said before the peace is boring and chaos is comforting something like that 388 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,280 The discomfort feels normal 389 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,360 You can decide why but it just feels normal to 390 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:38,920 Relate to the people in the quote-unquote stories even though they're real lives 391 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,200 Crime aficionados 392 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,200 They just have unresolved trauma 393 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:50,120 Apparently if you love crime you have an unresolved trauma that you have not healed 394 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:57,160 And you are filtering it into this this love which could essentially I think I I've read that 395 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:01,480 It almost is like a only murders in the building, you know how they become 396 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,840 These like sleuths of trying to solve the crime 397 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,920 There are a lot of people like internet sleuths. I think is what they call them now that 398 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:16,360 Are are trying to solve high profile crimes and crimes that they're not in the same state or country 399 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:21,000 And it just becomes this obsession, right? So there's apparently some un unresolved trauma there 400 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:26,760 For some it has nothing to do with the crime it has to do with the justice of finding the bad guy 401 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:31,400 Yes, and getting the bad guy because you did not get the justice in your own life 402 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:37,880 Or you just really like it for that reason that somebody gets consequences, right? That doesn't always happen in them though 403 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:41,960 Sometimes it's unresolved. No, I'm listening to a podcast right now called double jeopardy 404 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,560 somebody murdered somebody and is walking the streets because of 405 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,480 He did not get technicality. Yes, so stupid. Yeah 406 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:54,920 And then last one there's a learning component, which is what you've been talking about and you get to feel 407 00:30:54,920 --> 00:31:01,800 Like you can prepare for imminent danger by scratching them and getting their dna under your fingernails 408 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:05,160 Or oh, I I have already taught my kids how to do that 409 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,520 Okay 410 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:14,680 I mean I can't put a chip in their neck. So the next best thing is I told them to scratch 411 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,320 Do you want to come back here at one when I have therapy? 412 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:23,800 No, but as you're reading those I was thinking this is this is why I like true crime 413 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,920 And I think it has to do with my stalking incident in high school 414 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:27,880 Oh, yes 415 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:33,880 Scared that somebody was coming to kill me and also being so angry that that person didn't get justice 416 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:39,400 When they were found because things need to be fair new things need to be fair, you know, I love fairness 417 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:44,920 So I think those two things and that is to be honest when my obsession with 418 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,600 Oh my gosh, I'm gonna be murdered. I know that's how I'm gonna die 419 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:53,960 I started wouldn't it be nice to work on that and not feel like that? No, I just put it together 420 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:59,880 So I feel like that is working on and I'm good. That's step one. Yeah, you know, you're not good. No, I'm a complete person 421 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,880 Yeah 422 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:07,480 I've spent the last 20 years figuring out how not to get murdered by listening to other people get murdered 423 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,880 So I feel like that's good, but you also 424 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,840 That was all you sorry 425 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:21,080 You also have been told by a homicide unit detective that your fear is completely irrational 426 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:22,200 What's up, Donnie? 427 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:27,000 And no one is coming to your head. Nobody wants he was literally looked at her and went no one wants to even 428 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:29,960 Come to your house. You're not work. Why? 429 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:35,880 Like you went through like you're you're insane that detective left in my face 430 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:41,160 You were like, I know it. I know I will I know I'm gonna might somebody's gonna steal my kids. He was like nobody wants your kids 431 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:47,880 So there's the statistic of that happening, but your obsession over it. Yeah, it's can be 432 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:50,200 Slash is 433 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,200 crippling. Yeah, sometimes 434 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:59,000 Mm-hmm. Oh, I won't go places and I won't do things because I'm so afraid I used to call melody a different name in 435 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,360 target and grocery stores because I didn't want anybody 436 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:08,840 Following me in the aisles to know her name in case I looked away and they called her name 437 00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:13,240 And she looked so I would call her different names all the time. I think there's a level of 438 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,600 Health when it comes to I thought you were gonna say something smart 439 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,000 I think there's a level of health being prepared and being 440 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,440 Vigilant and 441 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:34,600 Yes, looking over your shoulder just to be you know, know where the exits are and 442 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:39,320 Know where your back is and who's behind you like I think there's a level of like that's good 443 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,560 And then there's a level of scary where your life gets 444 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:51,080 Directed by your fear instead of you just living life and being prepared. There's like two different ways 445 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,640 Yeah, that was smart 446 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,080 And I I think you teeter on the non 447 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,120 I mean I listen 448 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:07,480 I'm listening at this festival. I went to a music festival two weekends ago and 449 00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,520 I had moments 450 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:16,040 Many moments because of just the way the world is right now of being looking around 451 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:22,600 Seeing how many people were here seeing that yes, there is security, but not enough for 150,000 people 452 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:29,000 Anybody could have opened fire. Yeah anybody could have maybe finagled their way around security 453 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:33,480 Like people were smuggling things in like yes alcohol wise like not 454 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,120 Nobody could get hurt by that. But 455 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,880 What if they got you know, you know anything can happen? 456 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:45,400 And then somebody in my group that I was with said it and was like you were with a bunch of police officers 457 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:49,160 Well, I was with a bunch of crossfitters same thing, but 458 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:55,560 But one of them was and and one of them was like anybody could just open fire and they wouldn't know 459 00:34:55,560 --> 00:35:01,160 Who or how but there was a rule that if you entered you could never exit and re-enter 460 00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:08,360 So once you were in I know but still right, but that's how they could regulate who what wristbands were in the vicinity 461 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:13,720 So like there was a piece of security. There was a reason I was asking why can't why can't I go home and come back? 462 00:35:13,720 --> 00:35:16,520 Yeah, and there was there was a reason for that you would 463 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,520 So well because you couldn't food was so expensive 464 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,520 I know what if I wanted to go home have a little snack 465 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:26,280 So I understood that but then I was thinking about it and I was looking around I was like, oh my god 466 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:31,240 This is something that I'm putting myself in the middle of this danger and but 467 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,280 If I didn't go then I missed out 468 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:42,840 And on something, you know, so there's a there's a fine line. I think these days actually our brother put you in that situation 469 00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:45,240 So we can blame him 470 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,040 I don't like crowds 471 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,040 One of them is from the police 472 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:53,000 I don't like crowds one of them is for that reason 473 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,840 Yeah, and one of them is because I don't like crowds for sensitive reasons, but 474 00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:01,880 These days with the guns and the things happening in America. I think about it 475 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:06,200 It's not just happening in America the first thing I think of when you went we're going to a concert 476 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:12,200 I didn't want to think about it, but the first thing I thought about the festival was what happened last October 477 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:14,600 You know 478 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:15,960 In hamas 479 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:19,480 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, like just yeah, they read a festival 480 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:26,120 Yeah, they were at a happy festival celebrating and look what happened and it's still going on and that can happen 481 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:27,960 I mean 482 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:33,160 Can't it can and can't happen it that specifically cannot happen anywhere. It would not happen in America 483 00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:35,640 you'd hope but like 484 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,200 That yes, that makes me stay home. Yeah 485 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,000 that but it but then you can go into 486 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:46,920 The smaller things I went to the movies and we had a power outage, but nobody was telling us what was going on 487 00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:53,080 So in my head I was like, oh my god crowds down. What if Aurora, Colorado? Yeah, that's what happened there, right? 488 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:58,120 So wow the fact that you know these things and can name them because this is what I study 489 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,200 I may not study math 490 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,200 And I may not study anatomy 491 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:06,280 Okay, I say shoulder when I mean elbow. I say 10 when I mean one 492 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:13,720 but I know my mass murders and because I'm trying to protect myself, but they're that they're you can't 493 00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:17,880 Yeah, you can know about all of them. You cannot 494 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:23,160 You cannot yeah, and you I mean you send your kids to school every day. You have no idea what's gonna happen 495 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:25,880 No, I know 496 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,840 But I volunteer there. So if anything happens to them it happens to me too 497 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:33,080 Better be on a Thursday Friday better be on a Friday 498 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,960 It just there's so much to this that has to do with control 499 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:41,880 And there's so much to it that we just have to understand that there is absolutely no control 500 00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:43,880 So you have to kind of let your life 501 00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:49,160 You have to live you kind of have to let yourself live life and to think that horror movies 502 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:55,640 Are for pleasure. Some people like this for pleasure, but here are the people that don't 503 00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,840 Here are the people that don't and there's a reason why 504 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,120 you wouldn't even 505 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:07,400 Humor the thought of going to the next. I don't even know what's out. I don't know what's coming out horror wise 506 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:14,120 If you're an overstimulated person right to think about autism loud noises is is 507 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,000 Not okay and 508 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,160 out of routine 509 00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:22,040 Things tend to get people a little bit 510 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:26,840 Spooked basically spooked 511 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:34,840 So anybody that has a piece of overstimulation to them which also falls into the highly sensitive people if you're a highly sensitive person 512 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,760 Scary things are not your vibe 513 00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:45,240 It they just aren't you are you are so sensitive to energy the room 514 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:47,960 vibration noise 515 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,120 light 516 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,200 The list goes on so 517 00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:58,360 You're not going to put yourself in that situation. I read that empaths do not like horror and scary 518 00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:05,400 Things because they have too much empathy for the situation that it it's not pleasurable for them 519 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,880 At not even a little bit. Yeah, not even a little bit 520 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,080 If you had horrible trauma in your childhood 521 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:17,320 You know who you are. You know what that is. You are not going to again put yourself in in 522 00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:20,120 That situation 523 00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,520 Lower sensation seeking traits 524 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:26,760 So like if the adrenaline rush is not something if you're not a roller coaster person 525 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:31,640 Like people do that just for the thrill. Yeah, I am not a roller coaster person 526 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:36,440 See, I like roller coasters really I can't as I get older. I can't like my body doesn't like it 527 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:40,440 Yeah, I get dizzy and nauseous now, but I yeah, I'd go on roller coasters 528 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,600 I anywhere we went to Dutch wonderland and 529 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:51,960 The biggest roller coaster there is the only thing I can handle and if you know what Dutch wonderland is the max age is like 530 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:58,360 Eight years old. So that is the limit to my roller coaster abilities. It's legitimate actually 531 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:04,280 It's called Merlin's mayhem. Yep. Yep. There it is 532 00:40:05,240 --> 00:40:12,200 Uh, you don't thrive on stress. Some people thrive the chaos, right the chaos if you're not somebody that thrives on that 533 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,400 If you're from California 534 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:21,320 This isn't your thing. I'm just kidding and then you don't find pleasure like there's no pleasurable 535 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:28,440 Adrenaline dopamine hit. Yeah at all for you. Some people do not get that body response 536 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,000 Of the happy mood aftermath 537 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:39,160 That's why you're not a horror or true crime or thriller or suspense movie with kevin beacon. That's not your thing 538 00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:43,240 I'm I'm a mix. I don't like the I don't like 539 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:46,600 The real real scary stuff the gory stuff 540 00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:53,560 Same for the highly sensitive reasons the empath reasons the the visual blood. I can't I can't I'm not a nurse for reasons 541 00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:56,360 Do you want to know my scariest movie I've ever seen? 542 00:40:57,240 --> 00:40:59,240 You know what it is 543 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,400 You already know what it is 544 00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,000 gremlins 545 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,000 ow 546 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:09,560 Leprechauns, yes, that's what I meant the leprechaun the leprechaun 547 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:14,760 I watched it at a friend's house in like the fifth grade. I knew I wasn't supposed to 548 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:18,040 But how do you say no when you're with a group of girls that want to watch it? 549 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,240 And I I still am losing sleep over it 550 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:27,480 If I get in a car I jump in the car because the leprechaun is underneath my car 551 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,040 And the leprechaun is underneath my bed 552 00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:33,160 I will never sit on the edge of my bed with my feet down 553 00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:35,880 My feet will be up on the bed or I will be walking 554 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:39,320 But they the leprechaun will grab my ankles from under the bed 555 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,240 I was scarred but it is amazing that that 556 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,600 That is such a fear like you need to check for the monsters underneath your bed. Yeah 557 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:54,600 But you really know a lot about bundy, you know, I do it's it's 558 00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:58,200 And that guy was coming through windows. I know. Oh my gosh 559 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:05,960 I know so much about things that I should know nothing about and I know so little about things that I should know a lot about 560 00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:11,160 There there is a the theory. It's not a theory. It's a thing, right? 561 00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:17,000 We actually said it in the last episode we've sent it in many episodes before if you surround yourself with negativity 562 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:21,080 That's what comes to you if you sound so positivity. That's what comes to you. So 563 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:24,840 If you're in the thick of anything or you find that 564 00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:28,200 That you're listening to true crime. You're listening to 565 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:32,120 You know scary stories doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be a podcast like that 566 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:34,680 But if that's your daily intake 567 00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:39,480 There's a piece of that that gets like stored in your brain waves and in your body 568 00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:45,400 Where you're now you're just like keeping up with the negativity like that's part of your daily cycle 569 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:46,440 Yeah 570 00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:49,640 So you kind of if you feel like things are really heavy. There was a time 571 00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:53,400 In the past couple years where I was not in a good place mentally 572 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:57,240 I was going through a lot of things blah blah blah blah blah, but I was on my walks with the dog 573 00:42:57,240 --> 00:43:00,840 I was still listening to true crime right and my therapist was like maybe 574 00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,120 Maybe we take a break from that 575 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,600 Like maybe we listen to something else 576 00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:11,960 And then so I started listening to mel robbins and like that's where these positive things started to come into play 577 00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:18,040 Which could also go in a bad direction because I got too far into that where I was like diagnosing myself with all these issues 578 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:20,200 And she was like maybe we take a break from that 579 00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,200 You're poor therapist 580 00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:24,840 I love her but 581 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:31,160 It was such a good like I felt it when I took a break from the true crime stuff and it was heavy 582 00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:37,240 It was any time I had a break from talking to people being at work doing whatever I was putting on the same story 583 00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:39,240 I didn't get to finish right you get obsessive 584 00:43:39,240 --> 00:43:40,760 And I took a break 585 00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:46,200 I don't remember how long but it took a long break from it and I felt later. I felt lighter. I felt happier 586 00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:51,560 Yeah, I didn't feel doom and gloom like there's so much that weighs on our psyche 587 00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,240 That we do to ourselves and that's such a like a 588 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:59,800 Privilege one I feel like it is and it's totally something I did it this morning 589 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:01,720 I you listen to this morning 590 00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:07,720 I listen to it this morning because I only run like once a week at this point. I stopped remember I talked about 591 00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:10,280 I don't work out as much you're doing great. So I'm doing it 592 00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:14,760 I do it once a week, but I really enjoy it because that's the only time I get to listen 593 00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:16,760 to a story my murder 594 00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:23,880 Dirt or podcast and I really enjoy it, but I actually do it because a lot of it 595 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:30,280 Unfortunately is about women and how much on the news right now. Are we saying women running? 596 00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:35,080 They're they're getting murdered. So then why do you do it to prepare myself? 597 00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:39,000 You're gonna die while you're listening to it preparing it. I know 598 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:46,280 Like what the hell if there is somebody running too close behind me. I will zigzag and I will change my route 599 00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:50,120 There are so many you guys don't even want to know the things that I do 600 00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:52,920 on the daily 601 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:56,040 In my regular routine because I think somebody's following me 602 00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:00,680 No, you're not that great 603 00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:07,080 Like there no one is following you you should watch me put 604 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:11,880 A shopping cart away while I have the three kids. It is a sight to see well, that's hard 605 00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:17,880 Oh, no, I make sure I lock them in the car. Yeah, that's hard when you have like kids with you. Listen 606 00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,400 Go childless people 607 00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,440 Shopping is different experience 608 00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:29,640 I won't let mom take the kids to the store because mom has a mind frame that she's still in the 80s 609 00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:33,080 And she lets them out of the cart and lets them run in the aisles 610 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:36,760 That is the number one way they get stolen at Target 611 00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:42,840 Yeah, she's not allowed to take them shopping. I think bad things happen in the 80s too 612 00:45:43,720 --> 00:45:47,640 Yes, where's the number in the milk carton started or was that the 70s? No, yeah, you're right 613 00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:50,760 But still mom you're not allowed to take the kids. Yeah, well 614 00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,760 She's the other spectrum side of the spectrum of like 615 00:45:55,400 --> 00:46:00,600 Everyone's a good person. Yeah, everyone means so well and you're like wow everyone's out to get me but like 616 00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,600 No one cares about you 617 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:08,520 Literally no one cares about you. Just don't walk too close to me in public 618 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:12,200 Please not you just anybody if you walk too close to me in public 619 00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:16,120 I will put my hand in my pocket and get out my little pocket knife 620 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:20,680 I wasn't scared then. Yeah. Why how how did you live in New York? I 621 00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:25,480 Was king of the world. I didn't think anything bad was gonna happen. It was stalker 622 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:31,240 Yeah, I don't know children pre-children. I don't know. I don't know what happened like a flip switched 623 00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:36,040 And I could do no wrong in New York. I owned that city. Hold on 624 00:46:37,240 --> 00:46:39,240 A flip switch 625 00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,160 A flip switch 626 00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:50,360 You couldn't just go no, you couldn't just go you said it very confidently you couldn't just go a flip switched 627 00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:52,360 Oh 628 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:54,360 Oh 629 00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:55,800 Did it 630 00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:57,800 something switched 631 00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:02,920 And now I'm scared to death and delco, but like why don't you just work on it? 632 00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:07,160 Mom still has to sleep at my house when Andrew goes away. So why don't you work on it? 633 00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,960 Like you're just listing things that make you crazy 634 00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:16,760 Why don't you work on it and not feel like the world is out to get you 635 00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:20,840 I'm literally listening to a true crime podcast going to bed while mom's on our couch 636 00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:25,000 Because I can't sleep alone with the kids 637 00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,080 I hope this was informative 638 00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,120 I'm buying you therapy for christmas 639 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:37,400 I'm buying you therapy for christmas. I don't care what you said. Don't send me a betsy johnson link 640 00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:43,720 Wait, but I really want those shoes. Yeah, I don't care. I don't care. I got a code too for 30% off 641 00:47:43,720 --> 00:47:47,160 Yeah, I could I hope you're dying it. I hope you're murdered in that coat 642 00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:51,720 It's their shoes okay in the shoes 643 00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:59,080 Buckles on it like Santa Claus. I don't even I don't even but am I getting them not for me 644 00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:02,920 You're getting therapy for me better help baby 645 00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:08,280 That's like every commercial on every podcast better better help calm 646 00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:11,560 I would not be a good sponsor 647 00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:17,320 For that I would not be a good ad provider for better help calm. Yeah, it's a shame 648 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,280 Isn't it? Yeah 649 00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:24,200 Well, if you're as scared as I am right now 650 00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:34,200 Wait, you know what I just hadn't thought one of my scary leprechaun was yours when you were little remember witches the witches no 651 00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:40,760 The movie the witches and they turned into rats. Oh my god. Yeah, but that wasn't scary 652 00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:44,280 Are you kidding? 653 00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:50,840 It was so scary. Yeah, were they turned into rats. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, that was so weird that that was my like 654 00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:57,080 That was my fear that you were gonna turn into a rat. No that they were just gonna come get me now 655 00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,160 I I would like to be a witch 656 00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:04,520 I'm not sure that we're not sure that you're not 657 00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,800 I mean if you guys took a look around her 658 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,720 condo, um, you're witchy 659 00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:18,120 You're bitchy 660 00:49:19,240 --> 00:49:24,600 Mom's yelling right. Yeah, she is but I need a t-shirt that says I'm with witchy and you need to say I'm with bitchy 661 00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:29,000 And we're all with Barbara. We're all with Barbara 662 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:36,040 Poor Barbara has to deal with us. Oh, all right. So that is the reason for the season 663 00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:42,360 The spooky season and it is spooky for some of us all year long 664 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:48,520 And it's completely opposite for a lot of us as well. So there's the reason why I thought it was interesting 665 00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:52,920 It's so interesting and it's you know, it's October tis the season we're seeing a lot of 666 00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:54,920 Sometimes 667 00:49:55,640 --> 00:50:01,960 Sometimes a Halloween decoration scare me where I'm like, oh, why would you put that up? Oh my gosh same and some people just 668 00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,720 Unbothered Melody and I both cannot look at the Netflix 669 00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:13,400 When they list all like the home screen because all the Halloween scary movies are out now and some of the posters or 670 00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:17,720 Previews of the movies are so scary. I like it scares us. Yeah 671 00:50:17,720 --> 00:50:22,440 But murder all day 672 00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:27,960 Sometimes it's nice to research and learn some things that that aren't gonna better you 673 00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:32,680 But that are just informative and interesting to find out shut up shut up shut up. Okay 674 00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:40,040 So 675 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,120 We hope 676 00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,200 that you remember 677 00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:49,960 That you are always fit to be real and always allowed to be a little extra 678 00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:04,760 For legal reasons we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and educational purposes only we are not healthcare 679 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:08,600 Professionals for all of your health wellness fitness and self care needs 680 00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:14,680 Please refer to the medical professional in your life your primary care physician your therapist a certified coach 681 00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:16,520 Whoever it may be 682 00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:20,120 And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to 683 00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:22,280 Okay 684 00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:40,280 Okay, bye