Welcome to fit to be real and a little extra. Happy October. Oh, it's the best month of the year
It's the most wonderful
The year so she's gonna say this again in December. I know I just I love the holiday season
Yeah, the well so then October to what January?
December 26. Oh, yeah, we don't like that last week. No, okay
Why don't we like the last week remember I talked about this last year. It's just depressing to me
It's like the hype and the excitement of Christmas is over in the 26. It's like dreary for the next three months
I'm not a like New Year's fan. So
It's just like well
It's a downer. Yeah, I do remember talking about that
Don't you remember everything I said in the past year you would think because I have to listen to everything twice
But somehow I'm still this is
It is October it's our birthday month
It's also spooky season and so for all those reasons it is the best and the weather's finally getting colder
Finally, yeah, I can remember times when we were a kid on our birthday
Which is the end of October. We're just one kid. Yeah, we're just one kid
Well, we work together
We hang out together our birthdays are five days apart. That's one adult
I don't know how else we could be intertwined but when we were one kid growing up
Hmm, and it would be so warm and you're trying to go to Lin villa
And there's bees every Lin villa is like the pumpkin patch in our area like bees everywhere
And you're like sweating trying to wear
The October clothes that you've been wanting to wear, but it's 90. Yeah, and in the 90s
It was like a turtleneck and overalls. Yes with you know, we love overalls
pig tails. Um, ah
Let's bring it back. I had a white turtleneck with yellow smiley faces on it. Do you remember that?
I do remember that. Yeah, it was very you and that would be in style right now
Let's bring it back. Let's bring it back. Love it. I think Justin Bieber did actually
Justin no, we're not I know I I I want to do a whole episode on conspiracy theories in Hollywood Hollywood because I've been reading a lot about
all of them
Recently obviously everybody has because of
The P. Diddy the man who must not be named. I know that's how I want to refer to him as but that you said his name though
I didn't I said one of his ten
pseudonyms
That's not none of those words. It just came out of your mouth. Hold on. This is the problem
You are all witness to oh
My god the daily struggle is that was that the right word a pseudonym?
P. Diddy. I'm I'm we're moving on. I'm not even I'm not even addressing it
Okay, what are we talking about today more scary things?
Like what goes on in my brain on the daily
We're talking about spooky season but in the sense of the psychology and the science behind
recreational fear
Which is what we do when we watch horror films or I prefer thrillers than horror
Well or true crime my kids they call it horror film
Horror horror because they speak like they're not from Delco
I don't know why I think it's the television shows that they watch I think it's your husband
But yeah a little bit it's that but I say horror and they say horror
So I constantly asked Dean to say horror movie and he's like horror movie
The Dijkman's on their horse
But yes anyway, we're talking about horror movies
In the forest it's so hard. It's amazing that we're making fun of people who are speaking correctly. It's not correct
So
I'm not a I'm not a
Scary movie person neither am I like suspense like River Wild. Let's bring it back. That's like a big deal to me
I actually I can't watch that anymore after having kids. I can't you know, I had to stop watching Law and Order SVU
After I had kids Law and Order SVU
But that's scary to me because that's real that can really happen River Wild
Yeah, you might see Kevin Bacon on the River Wild and that could really
River Wild not Meryl Streep. Nah, she not likely Kevin Bacon though
The I'm gonna say this wrong M night Shyamalan
Milanon videos. How do you say his last name M night Shyamalan? Yeah, as I said, I
Can watch the sixth sense with anxiety
But anything after that I was unable to watch like signs is so hard for me to watch
see
Yeah, I'm I will say things like things like signs
No, thanks, but I do like signs, so I'm a little all over the place
But that's suspense right and I guess what constitutes horror. I think that's blood. That's gore
That's obviously thriller and suspense, but it's it's got a different psychological effect to it
Right thriller and suspense films. I guess like any M night Shyamalan movie. It's not so much about the visual
The effect of blood and gore and gore. Yeah, and it's more about the mind games
Thriller aspect. Yeah, so I do like signs all of them. I watch behind a pillow
Right, there's nothing. I'm sitting here strongly being like I enjoy this
It's it's the aftermath and we're gonna talk about why that happens why you hate it in the moment
Why you like it after the fact and why you keep coming back for more sweet
Sweet horror
Let's get into it
I'm Victoria. Hey guys, I'm Carly
Very good. Thanks. I
Think the scariest movie I've ever
Mmm as I said that I just thought of a second one the two scariest movies I've ever watched are
Are very different and I would never watch them again
Oh, why am I distinctly remember watching it and won't get into the details
But it was during the day because it's the only way I agreed to watch it and it was the Hills have eyes. Oh
I
Actually don't remember so much of it because I think I left my body like I it was so scary for me
That I might yeah, I can't think about it and then the other one is split. Oh
I've never seen that
Why did you watch that?
None of these were voluntary on my own. I was asked to hey
Do you want to watch this and I said no? Yeah, I was gonna say immediate. No, yeah, but didn't didn't work out that way
Split was scary to me because it's so
Oh
Real yeah, right having split personalities if that's what it's about and so
That was recent I think so yeah in the past couple years. I think so. Yeah, I don't know much about it
I remember being angry. So my response to fear is anger. Oh, I know because when our uncle
uncles
Asks us to watch don't look up
You left so did you went to bed true? I know but you left the house
Yes, I said goodbye. I don't live here. I'm leaving wasn't don't look up that that was like no
That was George Clooney. Yeah, I think that was a good one. Nope the movie nope. Nope. Yep. Yep
Toria nope
Victoria said nope and she got up halfway through and left and I had to go upstairs to my room
Because we were in my basement and I was like I can't do this anymore. Yeah, it's such a
physical like I
Don't know hormonal rush of fear that it's it becomes unbearable
But the hill so something like the hills have eyes
It was like I couldn't watch it because it was so was it gory. Oh my yeah, I can't watch gore
I can't watch gore beyond the beyond from what I remember and then the psychological thrillers of
you know multiple personality disorder or
Just how they write the scripts I can't handle that either that is more likely to happen in my mind in my
mentally
You know stable or unstable stable mind
The hills have eyes is not likely to happen in life
Split personalities and sort of no, I haven't
Split personalities and sort of schizophrenia and stuff like that is into me is more likely to happen
Yes, but let me ruin your thought process because you like true crime. I love murder and
I love murder daughter true crime couldn't be more real
Like yes, there's stories on podcasts that we listen to while we're running in at night or maybe that's just me
No, I did it this morning right in the dark. That's the morning, but it is not light out
But they're they happened like the people that you're listening about
It they're real people. It's not fake. I know and there's a reason that I when researching this I
Think I figured out why I like it so much because I'm always like oh my gosh
I'm scared of life. Why the heck do I like this? I I figured it out. Yeah, it's control
No
You sure I'm preparing myself for it to happen to me. Yes control preparation. Well, yeah, I guess preparation H. Yeah
So
The science of recreational fear, which I just like how that sounds because that's what it is. We're doing it
For fun. We're doing it for fun to ourselves voluntarily for fun. See it's like I love a jump scare
But I am I need to do the most preparation in my brain to go to a haunted house or a haunted hayride
Or something like that, but I but I go I haven't gone in years, but I've gone to the adrenaline rush
So it's this adrenaline rush and it's the opportunity to learn about dealing with
Situations in safe environments. So there's something to the aspect of knowing that you're not actually going to die
Right, even though it doesn't feel like that in the moment, right? The back of your brain knows that you're safe
Know is that their actors knows that you paid for this, right?
And so in the long run, you're going to be okay. You just have to get through this momentary
adrenaline rush
Yeah, that as a kid we used to have our birthday parties because our birthdays in October
We used to have birthday parties at the haunted houses
Like our staff of farms our staff of farms the haunted corn maze like you'd have to go through a corn maze in the dark and there would be
Scarecrow's jumping out at you like I did that one year and I I didn't like being scared back then
But I liked that because I knew I guess
Subliminally knew I was safe. I wasn't going to die
tonight
Yes
Yes, I don't have that gauge of knowing that I don't think really I really don't
Think so in the moment after the fact I can like laugh about it to a degree and it takes like a lot
but I
truly I remember remember we went to um a
College around here our cousin went to it new man's a haunted house new man. Yeah, and he well not everybody knows Newman
So I was just saying college. Oh, I thought you couldn't remember it. No, no, no just describing it
You're acting was great. There was a cop with an acting and he was dressed as this
Death, you know all black
Cloaks and whatever and he sat at door and I'm screaming bloody murder in his face
He's literally looking at me going Victoria. It's Jody. It's and I'm like
Like I couldn't separate. Yeah what I was seeing and I certainly wasn't listening and
I think I'm the same way still. Yeah, I was like what seven. I don't remember how we were get little
Yeah, yeah, we were a little and there's a there's a piece of it. I
Cannot in the moment. I can't feel that I'm actually safe
I cannot go this is an actor this it's okay. Everything's okay. I can't do that. I can't do that either
I think some people can those same uncles that made us watch nope
just made me go to a
escape room escape room it
No, no
Yes, I did. No, I know I'm saying absolutely. Oh, I was like I just went I told you about it
No, I would not walk in. Yeah, so it was an it and so there is a clown following you throughout each room
But a scary one. Oh my gosh. I mean it's Vegas. So it is Hollywood style escape room
It's not just like one room you try to get out
It's like six rooms you try to get out while there's somebody chasing you. Yeah, no and it was brutal
You did another one too. Saul. Yeah, no Saul escape so those same locals
Took me to a Saul escape room because they very very very much enjoy
Horror and they very much enjoy watching me go through horror
There I can't stop hearing horror. I know they love watching me go through horrors
Oh
That's a different
So there's uh, they are what I believe
Are white knucklers and we'll we'll talk about what that is. There's three different types of
Horror fans. Okay, and that's why they like it but really quickly
What happens to the body because this is super important from
Gathering the why to all of this what happens to the body and the brain
is the reason why
The people that like it keep coming back and the people that don't like it know their limits
And it's when you're afraid our endocrine system releases adrenaline
nor adrenaline and
Cortisol to prepare the body for danger. So it's that fight or flight. It's it's you know
We have that natural instinct for fear and danger and it's how we've survived all these years
But after the rush of all of these things
It's a good feeling right like the body goes through this
This rush of good. Yeah dopamine hit as I was searching for yes
so adrenaline
Really quickly because I am someone and maybe you're like me
I know the words, but I don't know the words right right?
So adrenaline is just rushes of blood throughout the system your heart beats faster your lungs feel like you can't really breathe
It's that's the body
Kind of if you think of it as like the electrical
Electrical wires all through your body. They're like going off. They're blinking. They're lighting up. They're doing all the things
So that's what we feel the nor adrenaline
Which is actually something I I didn't know
It acts as a neurotransmitter
So signals from the brain and a hormone. Oh
And it regulates
arousal attention
Cognitive function and stress reactions
So when I read that I was like, okay
Well, what does that mean? And I think that's nor adrenaline and somebody please write in and tell me that I'm wrong
But I think when I I've read the word arousal, that's where the serial killers like if they have too much
Yes, this one is where it's like a good thing and that's why
They go too far and it's just wired in them and it's you know, all that stuff. Mm-hmm. So
Well, there's parts of this that are just a little bit scary. It sounds right to me. So you know me if it sounds right
So it's totally right. It's totally right. And then cortisol. We know it's our stress hormone, right?
Right, that's daily stress. And then in this case, it's a high level of a cortisol hormonal rush to the system
So when we go through these jump scares, which I love is like a term. Well, all the kids know it
Jump scare. I have a big Halloween party. This is my second time having it and we have a haunted house and melody
Last year we had two jump scares in the haunted house in my backyard and melody has already told me
I want to walk through without the jump scares. Oh and so they know those words like that's a kid
I think it's a trending kid phrase to like, oh, yeah, yeah, I like that but no jump scares
I like to talk to her normally and then all of a sudden I scare her and she gets so
Flustered and she doesn't get mad, but she gets flustered. Yeah, and then I keep doing it to her because she thinks I'm
I'm not gonna do it anymore and then she gets mad. Well, she is very much like me in that we do not like
scary things. Lewis
Once blood coming out of his eyes at all times. Yeah
Melody and I don't like I don't like jump scares
Boom
But I yeah, I don't like them. Yeah
Well, because all of that rush your body with all the rush of adrenaline and all the things we just named
It's too much. It's way too much for your system. I'm exhausted afterwards. I was exhausted after the escape room
Yep, totally and I had anxiety for a week
Knowing I was going because the body like keeps it all. Yeah, it keeps the score of what you went through
So imagine if you never go to therapy and you never heal and it just like stays like that
Part of that had nothing to do with you, but now that I'm staring at you that was directed right
I was like I can't tell if you're being sarcastic towards me or not
No, okay, but hold on. Let me just finish the science behind it
So with these jump scares they increase the activity in our amygdala
And that is the it's like a little tiny almond shape thing in our brain. Why are you laughing because say that word again?
No, say it again amygdala say it again
No, oh my god. That's that's like not a word. It's being weird the part of the brain that's responsible
for detecting and responding to danger
so
That it increases that activity because it's trying to figure out how we respond to this. Are we okay?
Are we safe? Where do we go? What do we do and everything else is also rushing at the same time
But our negative emotions are stored in the amygdala. Eugh, so
They fight that a little bit and that's why I can continue to affect you right for longer, you know
lingering effects
so that that's the
The medical terms when it comes to what is happening
To feel that like I get
I feel like heat like yeah, how do you get hot? Well, some people
Use that in their life as like that's what they look for. They are adrenaline like that's adrenaline junkies. Yeah. Yeah. Well, okay
Here we go. Yeah, let's do it
So there are three types of horror fans adrenaline junkie
white knuckles and dark
coppers
You're making this up. No, it was in that I sent you articles. I know but I'm sorry
adrenaline junkies white knuckles dark coppers copers
copers copers
what
The adrenaline junkies are you get like a mood boost from it from the fear I heard a moosh boosh
I don't know what you said
And I actually don't know what an amuse-boosh is but that's what I heard. That's what it is. Okay. That's what it is
So it's that dopamine hit afterwards
The dopamine rush that you get after all of the adrenaline and the fear and all of that
Dopamine is our feel-good hormone. So that is what they're kind of chasing. Okay
And it's as simple as that like there's nothing else attached to it really. I am not one white knuckles
They kind of it's they quoted this lean out term. They lean out which just means they
I think it's like our uncles that you're talking about they find it like funny
Yeah, they think it's funny to watch other people scared too. So
There's white knuckles have this thing like a sweet spot. So they're looking for the sweet spot to be scared
I read that and so that's good
Just acknowledge that I know what the sweet spot of fear is. That's good. That's good. Yeah. So too much fear is
just
Plain anxiety not enough fear is boring to them
But that sweet spot is where it's like they can feel that adrenaline rush. Right. So I guess white knuckles
To me white knuckles like you're you're gripping so hard that it's you're here, but that's not how it's described
All right, so they find they find the situation funny and I am so the opposite. Oh my god. I'm I'm what you call a dark chocolate coper
What's it called?
I I don't know if you're actually this
because a dark coper
uses
The fear and the situation to help deal with anxieties about the world or within their own world and themselves
I think that I am and I think you are too and I think what that means is
What I'd said before I you like the reason I enjoy murder podcasts and watching
like documentaries about
You know serial killers and stuff like that is so that I can prepare myself, right if I ever like my
I anxieties I can sort of ease my anxieties by saying okay if this happens
I know how to prepare myself and I know how to try and get out of that situation. That's how I took that
Yeah, so no, I don't enjoy it, but it
a little bit
relieves my anxiety
As if I if I didn't know how to get out of a situation like that. I would have more anxiety about it, right?
But I'm preparing myself
Because I know somebody's gonna murder me
You know, I've said that since I was little that is not true. You have not said it since you were little
You've said it since New York. Well, that was 20 years ago, but that was not little
so
hmm
Uh, I guess I think that is a way that you could describe that the dark coper
I took it a little differently when I read it. Okay. How'd you take it? Which is that they're
like there's so much anxiety
And stuff that they're they have within them. Oh
which
Everybody does right, but they look for a more concrete threat. They look for something else to focus on
To regulate their their system and they're you know to overcome a fear and stuff like that
Yeah, no, that's similar. It's it's similar, but it's I think there's an umbrella, right? Nothing is ever a cookie cutter
So I've Ella. Hey, hey under my umbrella
You're scary in a different way
But yeah, but the one thing in all of the things that I have read
Is that horror fans are psychologically resilient? Oh, that was a good thing. Oh, yeah
Yeah, so there's something when you say Lewis just likes blood and oh my god guts and stuff
He does he likes to draw it. Yes. He he can control that
Because he's creating it right right if you were watching something
He wouldn't sleep for days correct so because he's a highly sensitive kid correct
And so we're gonna talk about why you may not actually
Like it because his I think psychological resilience is not actually very high
Right, but horror horror fans usually are he's like he's never seen these movies
But for Halloween, he's not going to be any of these but for Halloween. He was like I want to be the scream guy
I want to be Jason. I want to be Freddy Krueger. He's never seen these movies
He's only seen pictures and has drawn all these people
But he's never seen the movies, but he loves that
It's just scary to look at. Oh my gosh. So scary. So interesting. But yeah, I don't know why
so that's
horror
Okay, that's the the actual scary movies that come out this season every year
That just keep getting to me worse and worse
Well side note you had said before that people that like horror films are more resilient
I keep getting the same
Meme sent to me by different people because everybody knows that we like true crime
This was sent to me by Andrew sister my sister-in-law
Psychologist warns it's a major red flag to relax by enjoying true crime. Yes
But I'm resilient
No, oh
I think that's for horror
Oh jump scares like true crime doesn't necessarily have jump scares, right? It's just like no no no no
I'm just like telling you a story about a really bad person doing a really bad thing and and you get like the
The background of it all and you learn
So true crime I think is a little bit different and I've heard this red flag thing. I keep getting it sent to me
So that's mel robbins had dr
Bryant melly melly are
had um
A woman on that talked about this and I think that's where that meme is coming from. Oh because she said
That it's it's completely unhealthy if you at the end of the day go home and put on a true crime
Whether it's long order svu or 2020. Yeah, or I'm listening to a 2020 podcast right now
I did this morning. Yeah while I worked out. I love it
But it yeah, she said this doctor said that the trauma portrayed in the series of a true crime is
Familiar to you and that's why it's a red flag, right? So it's more
discomfort to sit in peace because that
Is scarier than to sit in the chaos. Yes. Yes of something
Maybe it's um your childhood trauma the environment you grew up in maybe you also had the abusive
You know parent parental figure
So there's so much that feels normal. Do you know what's interesting and I'm just realizing this now I
Used to work for somebody in New York whose brother
Elizabeth wouldn't care if I talked about this her brother was the boy in the bubble
Well, that was based off the movie if you've ever heard the boy in the bubble movie
It was based off her brother. He lived in
This bubble because he had no immune system. So that was her brother
That's how she lived he died very young and he died when she was very young and she was obsessed
with death
That's yeah, that's and I'm putting this together
Every she would watch the shining at noon in the afternoon. No problem
She would she loved scary movies. She loved death and that's why yeah
Because she could have gone the other way when her brother died, but instead she went towards it
Right, so you could be completely afraid of it right or no. So she uh, what's it called you?
Her trauma of death
She leaned into it. That's crazy
Yeah, not necessarily. I mean it could be healthy
Yeah, it could not be healthy. So that that goes for anybody's situation. There's a
Uh, I went to a cemetery for some sort of market
And then I looked into what they offer throughout this whole season and every weekend's like a different spooky something, right?
One of the events is a one night only
I forget what they called it. It's like a death cafe. Oh
See, I like that
I don't know. I don't know
It's not scary
It's different tables and different opportunities for you to go and talk freely about death. Oh people wait. No, I don't like that
So it's grappling and understanding the concept and being able to talk freely and openly about it not necessarily how to
Do it and how to kill and but just
death as
As a concept as a theory as something that maybe you're going through it right now
And it's so interesting because I read that and I was like
what?
But it's not something that we talk about
No, I am that is my biggest fear in life and I never want to talk about it death openly. Oh my god. I'm so scared of dying
Why oh my it's like I don't want to do it
And I don't talk about this and I never am not surprised. I don't want to do it
I don't want to handle it. So I definitely don't want to talk about it with other people. Yeah
Yeah, because why oh my god, why come to terms with it? All right, we're gonna. I can't even touch that
I can't even touch it. So the love of true crime the people that like it there are different reasons why so maybe you fall under
Any of these options you grow up in a high stress situation or environment
And that's what we said before the peace is boring and chaos is comforting something like that
The discomfort feels normal
You can decide why but it just feels normal to
Relate to the people in the quote-unquote stories even though they're real lives
Crime aficionados
They just have unresolved trauma
Apparently if you love crime you have an unresolved trauma that you have not healed
And you are filtering it into this this love which could essentially I think I I've read that
It almost is like a only murders in the building, you know how they become
These like sleuths of trying to solve the crime
There are a lot of people like internet sleuths. I think is what they call them now that
Are are trying to solve high profile crimes and crimes that they're not in the same state or country
And it just becomes this obsession, right? So there's apparently some un unresolved trauma there
For some it has nothing to do with the crime it has to do with the justice of finding the bad guy
Yes, and getting the bad guy because you did not get the justice in your own life
Or you just really like it for that reason that somebody gets consequences, right? That doesn't always happen in them though
Sometimes it's unresolved. No, I'm listening to a podcast right now called double jeopardy
somebody murdered somebody and is walking the streets because of
He did not get technicality. Yes, so stupid. Yeah
And then last one there's a learning component, which is what you've been talking about and you get to feel
Like you can prepare for imminent danger by scratching them and getting their dna under your fingernails
Or oh, I I have already taught my kids how to do that
Okay
I mean I can't put a chip in their neck. So the next best thing is I told them to scratch
Do you want to come back here at one when I have therapy?
No, but as you're reading those I was thinking this is this is why I like true crime
And I think it has to do with my stalking incident in high school
Oh, yes
Scared that somebody was coming to kill me and also being so angry that that person didn't get justice
When they were found because things need to be fair new things need to be fair, you know, I love fairness
So I think those two things and that is to be honest when my obsession with
Oh my gosh, I'm gonna be murdered. I know that's how I'm gonna die
I started wouldn't it be nice to work on that and not feel like that? No, I just put it together
So I feel like that is working on and I'm good. That's step one. Yeah, you know, you're not good. No, I'm a complete person
Yeah
I've spent the last 20 years figuring out how not to get murdered by listening to other people get murdered
So I feel like that's good, but you also
That was all you sorry
You also have been told by a homicide unit detective that your fear is completely irrational
What's up, Donnie?
And no one is coming to your head. Nobody wants he was literally looked at her and went no one wants to even
Come to your house. You're not work. Why?
Like you went through like you're you're insane that detective left in my face
You were like, I know it. I know I will I know I'm gonna might somebody's gonna steal my kids. He was like nobody wants your kids
So there's the statistic of that happening, but your obsession over it. Yeah, it's can be
Slash is
crippling. Yeah, sometimes
Mm-hmm. Oh, I won't go places and I won't do things because I'm so afraid I used to call melody a different name in
target and grocery stores because I didn't want anybody
Following me in the aisles to know her name in case I looked away and they called her name
And she looked so I would call her different names all the time. I think there's a level of
Health when it comes to I thought you were gonna say something smart
I think there's a level of health being prepared and being
Vigilant and
Yes, looking over your shoulder just to be you know, know where the exits are and
Know where your back is and who's behind you like I think there's a level of like that's good
And then there's a level of scary where your life gets
Directed by your fear instead of you just living life and being prepared. There's like two different ways
Yeah, that was smart
And I I think you teeter on the non
I mean I listen
I'm listening at this festival. I went to a music festival two weekends ago and
I had moments
Many moments because of just the way the world is right now of being looking around
Seeing how many people were here seeing that yes, there is security, but not enough for 150,000 people
Anybody could have opened fire. Yeah anybody could have maybe finagled their way around security
Like people were smuggling things in like yes alcohol wise like not
Nobody could get hurt by that. But
What if they got you know, you know anything can happen?
And then somebody in my group that I was with said it and was like you were with a bunch of police officers
Well, I was with a bunch of crossfitters same thing, but
But one of them was and and one of them was like anybody could just open fire and they wouldn't know
Who or how but there was a rule that if you entered you could never exit and re-enter
So once you were in I know but still right, but that's how they could regulate who what wristbands were in the vicinity
So like there was a piece of security. There was a reason I was asking why can't why can't I go home and come back?
Yeah, and there was there was a reason for that you would
So well because you couldn't food was so expensive
I know what if I wanted to go home have a little snack
So I understood that but then I was thinking about it and I was looking around I was like, oh my god
This is something that I'm putting myself in the middle of this danger and but
If I didn't go then I missed out
And on something, you know, so there's a there's a fine line. I think these days actually our brother put you in that situation
So we can blame him
I don't like crowds
One of them is from the police
I don't like crowds one of them is for that reason
Yeah, and one of them is because I don't like crowds for sensitive reasons, but
These days with the guns and the things happening in America. I think about it
It's not just happening in America the first thing I think of when you went we're going to a concert
I didn't want to think about it, but the first thing I thought about the festival was what happened last October
You know
In hamas
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, like just yeah, they read a festival
Yeah, they were at a happy festival celebrating and look what happened and it's still going on and that can happen
I mean
Can't it can and can't happen it that specifically cannot happen anywhere. It would not happen in America
you'd hope but like
That yes, that makes me stay home. Yeah
that but it but then you can go into
The smaller things I went to the movies and we had a power outage, but nobody was telling us what was going on
So in my head I was like, oh my god crowds down. What if Aurora, Colorado? Yeah, that's what happened there, right?
So wow the fact that you know these things and can name them because this is what I study
I may not study math
And I may not study anatomy
Okay, I say shoulder when I mean elbow. I say 10 when I mean one
but I know my mass murders and because I'm trying to protect myself, but they're that they're you can't
Yeah, you can know about all of them. You cannot
You cannot yeah, and you I mean you send your kids to school every day. You have no idea what's gonna happen
No, I know
But I volunteer there. So if anything happens to them it happens to me too
Better be on a Thursday Friday better be on a Friday
It just there's so much to this that has to do with control
And there's so much to it that we just have to understand that there is absolutely no control
So you have to kind of let your life
You have to live you kind of have to let yourself live life and to think that horror movies
Are for pleasure. Some people like this for pleasure, but here are the people that don't
Here are the people that don't and there's a reason why
you wouldn't even
Humor the thought of going to the next. I don't even know what's out. I don't know what's coming out horror wise
If you're an overstimulated person right to think about autism loud noises is is
Not okay and
out of routine
Things tend to get people a little bit
Spooked basically spooked
So anybody that has a piece of overstimulation to them which also falls into the highly sensitive people if you're a highly sensitive person
Scary things are not your vibe
It they just aren't you are you are so sensitive to energy the room
vibration noise
light
The list goes on so
You're not going to put yourself in that situation. I read that empaths do not like horror and scary
Things because they have too much empathy for the situation that it it's not pleasurable for them
At not even a little bit. Yeah, not even a little bit
If you had horrible trauma in your childhood
You know who you are. You know what that is. You are not going to again put yourself in in
That situation
Lower sensation seeking traits
So like if the adrenaline rush is not something if you're not a roller coaster person
Like people do that just for the thrill. Yeah, I am not a roller coaster person
See, I like roller coasters really I can't as I get older. I can't like my body doesn't like it
Yeah, I get dizzy and nauseous now, but I yeah, I'd go on roller coasters
I anywhere we went to Dutch wonderland and
The biggest roller coaster there is the only thing I can handle and if you know what Dutch wonderland is the max age is like
Eight years old. So that is the limit to my roller coaster abilities. It's legitimate actually
It's called Merlin's mayhem. Yep. Yep. There it is
Uh, you don't thrive on stress. Some people thrive the chaos, right the chaos if you're not somebody that thrives on that
If you're from California
This isn't your thing. I'm just kidding and then you don't find pleasure like there's no pleasurable
Adrenaline dopamine hit. Yeah at all for you. Some people do not get that body response
Of the happy mood aftermath
That's why you're not a horror or true crime or thriller or suspense movie with kevin beacon. That's not your thing
I'm I'm a mix. I don't like the I don't like
The real real scary stuff the gory stuff
Same for the highly sensitive reasons the empath reasons the the visual blood. I can't I can't I'm not a nurse for reasons
Do you want to know my scariest movie I've ever seen?
You know what it is
You already know what it is
gremlins
ow
Leprechauns, yes, that's what I meant the leprechaun the leprechaun
I watched it at a friend's house in like the fifth grade. I knew I wasn't supposed to
But how do you say no when you're with a group of girls that want to watch it?
And I I still am losing sleep over it
If I get in a car I jump in the car because the leprechaun is underneath my car
And the leprechaun is underneath my bed
I will never sit on the edge of my bed with my feet down
My feet will be up on the bed or I will be walking
But they the leprechaun will grab my ankles from under the bed
I was scarred but it is amazing that that
That is such a fear like you need to check for the monsters underneath your bed. Yeah
But you really know a lot about bundy, you know, I do it's it's
And that guy was coming through windows. I know. Oh my gosh
I know so much about things that I should know nothing about and I know so little about things that I should know a lot about
There there is a the theory. It's not a theory. It's a thing, right?
We actually said it in the last episode we've sent it in many episodes before if you surround yourself with negativity
That's what comes to you if you sound so positivity. That's what comes to you. So
If you're in the thick of anything or you find that
That you're listening to true crime. You're listening to
You know scary stories doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be a podcast like that
But if that's your daily intake
There's a piece of that that gets like stored in your brain waves and in your body
Where you're now you're just like keeping up with the negativity like that's part of your daily cycle
Yeah
So you kind of if you feel like things are really heavy. There was a time
In the past couple years where I was not in a good place mentally
I was going through a lot of things blah blah blah blah blah, but I was on my walks with the dog
I was still listening to true crime right and my therapist was like maybe
Maybe we take a break from that
Like maybe we listen to something else
And then so I started listening to mel robbins and like that's where these positive things started to come into play
Which could also go in a bad direction because I got too far into that where I was like diagnosing myself with all these issues
And she was like maybe we take a break from that
You're poor therapist
I love her but
It was such a good like I felt it when I took a break from the true crime stuff and it was heavy
It was any time I had a break from talking to people being at work doing whatever I was putting on the same story
I didn't get to finish right you get obsessive
And I took a break
I don't remember how long but it took a long break from it and I felt later. I felt lighter. I felt happier
Yeah, I didn't feel doom and gloom like there's so much that weighs on our psyche
That we do to ourselves and that's such a like a
Privilege one I feel like it is and it's totally something I did it this morning
I you listen to this morning
I listen to it this morning because I only run like once a week at this point. I stopped remember I talked about
I don't work out as much you're doing great. So I'm doing it
I do it once a week, but I really enjoy it because that's the only time I get to listen
to a story my murder
Dirt or podcast and I really enjoy it, but I actually do it because a lot of it
Unfortunately is about women and how much on the news right now. Are we saying women running?
They're they're getting murdered. So then why do you do it to prepare myself?
You're gonna die while you're listening to it preparing it. I know
Like what the hell if there is somebody running too close behind me. I will zigzag and I will change my route
There are so many you guys don't even want to know the things that I do
on the daily
In my regular routine because I think somebody's following me
No, you're not that great
Like there no one is following you you should watch me put
A shopping cart away while I have the three kids. It is a sight to see well, that's hard
Oh, no, I make sure I lock them in the car. Yeah, that's hard when you have like kids with you. Listen
Go childless people
Shopping is different experience
I won't let mom take the kids to the store because mom has a mind frame that she's still in the 80s
And she lets them out of the cart and lets them run in the aisles
That is the number one way they get stolen at Target
Yeah, she's not allowed to take them shopping. I think bad things happen in the 80s too
Yes, where's the number in the milk carton started or was that the 70s? No, yeah, you're right
But still mom you're not allowed to take the kids. Yeah, well
She's the other spectrum side of the spectrum of like
Everyone's a good person. Yeah, everyone means so well and you're like wow everyone's out to get me but like
No one cares about you
Literally no one cares about you. Just don't walk too close to me in public
Please not you just anybody if you walk too close to me in public
I will put my hand in my pocket and get out my little pocket knife
I wasn't scared then. Yeah. Why how how did you live in New York? I
Was king of the world. I didn't think anything bad was gonna happen. It was stalker
Yeah, I don't know children pre-children. I don't know. I don't know what happened like a flip switched
And I could do no wrong in New York. I owned that city. Hold on
A flip switch
You couldn't just go no, you couldn't just go you said it very confidently you couldn't just go a flip switched
Oh
Did it
something switched
And now I'm scared to death and delco, but like why don't you just work on it?
Mom still has to sleep at my house when Andrew goes away. So why don't you work on it?
Like you're just listing things that make you crazy
Why don't you work on it and not feel like the world is out to get you
I'm literally listening to a true crime podcast going to bed while mom's on our couch
Because I can't sleep alone with the kids
I hope this was informative
I'm buying you therapy for christmas
I'm buying you therapy for christmas. I don't care what you said. Don't send me a betsy johnson link
Wait, but I really want those shoes. Yeah, I don't care. I don't care. I got a code too for 30% off
Yeah, I could I hope you're dying it. I hope you're murdered in that coat
It's their shoes okay in the shoes
Buckles on it like Santa Claus. I don't even I don't even but am I getting them not for me
You're getting therapy for me better help baby
That's like every commercial on every podcast better better help calm
I would not be a good sponsor
For that I would not be a good ad provider for better help calm. Yeah, it's a shame
Isn't it? Yeah
Well, if you're as scared as I am right now
Wait, you know what I just hadn't thought one of my scary leprechaun was yours when you were little remember witches the witches no
The movie the witches and they turned into rats. Oh my god. Yeah, but that wasn't scary
Are you kidding?
It was so scary. Yeah, were they turned into rats. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, that was so weird that that was my like
That was my fear that you were gonna turn into a rat. No that they were just gonna come get me now
I I would like to be a witch
I'm not sure that we're not sure that you're not
I mean if you guys took a look around her
condo, um, you're witchy
You're bitchy
Mom's yelling right. Yeah, she is but I need a t-shirt that says I'm with witchy and you need to say I'm with bitchy
And we're all with Barbara. We're all with Barbara
Poor Barbara has to deal with us. Oh, all right. So that is the reason for the season
The spooky season and it is spooky for some of us all year long
And it's completely opposite for a lot of us as well. So there's the reason why I thought it was interesting
It's so interesting and it's you know, it's October tis the season we're seeing a lot of
Sometimes
Sometimes a Halloween decoration scare me where I'm like, oh, why would you put that up? Oh my gosh same and some people just
Unbothered Melody and I both cannot look at the Netflix
When they list all like the home screen because all the Halloween scary movies are out now and some of the posters or
Previews of the movies are so scary. I like it scares us. Yeah
But murder all day
Sometimes it's nice to research and learn some things that that aren't gonna better you
But that are just informative and interesting to find out shut up shut up shut up. Okay
So
We hope
that you remember
That you are always fit to be real and always allowed to be a little extra
For legal reasons we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and educational purposes only we are not healthcare
Professionals for all of your health wellness fitness and self care needs
Please refer to the medical professional in your life your primary care physician your therapist a certified coach
Whoever it may be
And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to
Okay
Okay, bye