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Welcome to Fit to Be Real and a little extra.

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What up?

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Well, I was just gonna say that!

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I was just gonna say that. I was gonna say, what's up, Carly?

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Oh, that would be weird if you said my name.

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I was gonna say, what up, dog?

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No, that wouldn't be weird at all.

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Because we've been sitting here for 30 minutes.

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You kind of look like Snoop, actually.

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You kind of look like Snoop today.

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She's got a gold chain, her hair is slicked back.

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She's very string beanie today.

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I always wear gold chains.

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But it's very, you're very long.

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Oh, like I thought she's wearing monochrome blue from head to toe.

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So she's, you're very Snoop-ish.

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Yes, just call me.

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Referred to me as that for the rest of the podcast, please.

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Snoop?

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Snoop.

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I was really hoping you were gonna be like, the O-W-G, but...

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I'm not that cool.

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Yeah.

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And I don't think I could name one Snoop song.

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You're Snoop until you open your mouth.

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I'm a lot of things to lay up on my mouth.

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What are we talking about today?

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We're gonna accept moving on.

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Okay.

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How about that for a segue?

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We're talking about uncertainty and Carly already doesn't like how I said that.

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I don't.

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It's too many T's and too many emphasis.

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Ssss.

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Emphasize.

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Yeah.

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Emphasize.

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Too many emphasize.

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Hold on.

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Uncertainty.

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Uncertainty.

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Huh?

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Uncertainty.

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Not uncertainty.

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You're just not saying...

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You're just...

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You're just choosing to not say letters.

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I probably am.

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Oh.

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Inappropriate.

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Obvi...

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Vito.

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No.

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Prolly is in a...

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But even for the Delco, in all of us, I hate Prolly.

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Prolly.

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But you don't even say Prolly.

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I don't, but...

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You don't even type Prolly.

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No, I don't.

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I say Obvi.

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I type Obvi.

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I choose to forget that.

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But Prolly is a different choice.

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I'm saying uncertainty.

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Not uncertainty.

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You're saying uncertainty.

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The uncertainty.

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You're like an old smoker from the New York City, circa 1979.

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I have a low ballet bun in right now.

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Exactly.

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I'm a Snoop Dogg or an 80 year old ex-Bellerina.

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You are...

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Which one is it?

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I was going more Estelle.

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Oh.

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From French.

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Yeah.

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Joey's...

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Manager.

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Manager.

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Estelle.

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The Uncertainty.

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You know?

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I feel like everyone agrees with me.

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They are very uncertain about what we're about to talk today.

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Oh my God, she just made fun of the fact that she said all the letters in the word.

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Snoop would be proud.

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Okay.

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So yes, I am certain we are going to go through with this uncertainty.

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Yeah.

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Good work.

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I'm Victoria.

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Hey guys, I'm Carly.

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All right, start us off.

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None of you have heard the edit that I just killed of the dead air of wondering how to start this.

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So Carly's brilliant take on how to begin the episode was to just throw it to me and say start us off.

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I am certain that this podcast is always uncertain.

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Yes, that is the truth.

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We never know what's about to happen and we live in that uncertainty.

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But do you though?

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No.

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You don't like the unknown.

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I...

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Right?

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It keeps me up at night.

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That's got deep rules for us.

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No, I mean, that's the whole point.

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That's why when I was, when we were thinking about like what to do next, this...

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Quite literally, I will wake up in the middle of the night.

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Do you know when you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or whatever your eyes pop open?

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Then you start thinking of all the bad scenarios that could happen in the future or that could have happened today, but didn't.

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I do that.

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And I feel like I especially do it since I've had kids.

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I don't do that.

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You don't do that.

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I wake up to go to the bathroom and I think, God damn, I have to go to the bathroom.

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And then I go back to bed.

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No, I will lay there for not every night and not all the time, but sometimes and just think about all the things in the future that could happen.

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If this happens, then this will happen.

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But you don't want to admit that you have anxiety?

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No, that's sleep talking to myself.

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There's a difference.

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Oh my God.

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I'm sure you're not alone.

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I think a lot of people do what you just described.

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I'm not one of them.

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Yeah, but I think that's pretty common.

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I think and I think and this is something that's completely opinion based, but I think that's like more these days because people know more about what's going on in the world and the bad things, not even just the good things, because I think the bad things are always louder.

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So we know more of what's going on overseas.

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We know more of what's going on domestically here in the United States.

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We know more of the bad things that are going on overseas.

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We know more of what people are portraying on Instagram that are actually true influencers and all that stuff.

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Fake news.

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Yeah, fake news.

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So like, I think there's a piece of that I can't talk about the mother part.

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I think that just comes with having a kid.

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Right.

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Yeah, I think it's just it elevates your worry of like, I worry and get anxious about myself and like myself situation, myself situations, but also now I worry about just like, you know, the kids.

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And the pool in the summer now and what if this happens and what if this happens?

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What is happening in the middle of the night about the pool that brings you to worry about the pool?

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Do you know what I mean?

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I think half sleeping and half.

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So your dreams are worrying?

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No, and half worrying about the next day.

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Right.

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Like always worrying about the future.

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That's anxiety.

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The future.

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Yeah.

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So definition of the term anxiety projecting future happenings and events that have not happened.

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And you but in a negative way.

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Right.

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And there was a study done that 85, hold on, I wrote it down because I was like, what 85% of what humans worry about never happens.

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Yeah.

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85%.

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That's a lot of percent.

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Yeah.

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Never happens.

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Isn't that crazy?

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That's horrible.

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I know.

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Because we live in our thoughts and we live in a made up world that we project because you make up scenarios in your head too.

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And then you, yeah, I mean, I don't know anybody that does that, but like, you know, you could make up scenarios in your head and overplay them in your head until it, you know, doesn't actually come to fruition.

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Yeah, your friend, you know, your friend is really good at that.

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But yes, so we're going to talk about how to acknowledge that and find awareness in the moments that you are feeling this worry pang of the future or, you know, maybe something's happening where you have to make a decision.

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And the worry comes from, am I making the right decision?

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Like sometimes I think that's usually mine.

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I always want to make the correct decision.

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I don't care which one it is.

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Just let's do the correct one.

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And that's a part of uncertainty.

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Not necessarily.

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I'm afraid of like what you're talking about.

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I'm afraid of what's going to happen at the pool tomorrow.

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I'm afraid of, okay, well, should I go to the pool or should I go hiking?

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Which one?

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I got to pick the right one.

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You know what I mean?

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Yeah, decision making.

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And I think a lot of people lately because the news is always on, Instagram is always open.

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You have what I call busy town in your brain.

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It's constantly going and a lot of it's negative.

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And there's uncertainty.

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The housing market is horrible.

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People are trying to buy houses.

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You know, people are getting sick.

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People, you know, COVID just happened.

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There was so much uncertainty with COVID.

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Nobody knew what was going on.

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You are living every single day being like, what?

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I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring.

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And that's hard to live in.

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To live in the I don't know is scary to me.

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I hate not knowing.

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But that's life.

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No, I know.

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No, you don't know.

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No, I know.

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It's really don't know.

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I need to learn how to deal with living in an uncertain time, which, listen, the 50s were uncertain.

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The 60s were uncertain.

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It's never not going to be uncertain.

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The world is going to hell in a handbasket.

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There you go.

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Okay.

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And for lack of a better phrase, the world is crazy right now.

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But is it crazier today than it was like when they were talking about the atomic bomb?

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Well, it's relative.

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It's all relative.

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Yeah.

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So it's never going to change in 50 years.

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It's going to be a crazy uncertain time.

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So then what are you stressing out about?

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Because it's very hard not to live in that anxiety written, like what's tomorrow going to bring?

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What's six months from now going to bring?

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You got to figure out how to live in the now so you don't constantly fear the future.

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Yeah.

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Acceptance is the first step.

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But that's so true because you really do.

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I mean, you have to accept and we'll talk about it, which I don't know what you got in your little research book over there.

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I have so much.

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You, yeah, she does.

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She flipped through like pages and handwriting.

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That's the first thing we've done that in a long time.

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I know.

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You really care about this.

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I do.

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I'm happy for you.

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I think living in fear, which we'll talk about, which is anxiety, which is not accepting.

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It's resisting.

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Right.

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So, yeah, you want to accept and not resist.

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So we'll get into it.

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This is basically what I spent 200 hours of yoga training talking about.

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Really?

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Like truly this detachment.

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Detachment and being doesn't mean that you don't care.

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It's not resignation.

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It's not resigning to like, it is what it is.

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It's a little bit, it is what it is, but more in a present.

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I'm a present in this moment.

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It will be what it will be.

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Yeah.

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It is what it is.

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Sounds negative.

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It is what it is.

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Yeah.

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Mom never let us say it.

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No.

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She did not like it is what it is.

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And I think that does have like a, I don't care.

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Yeah.

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Like a little bit more aloof, but not in a positive way.

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And so, you know, accepting that like this moment we're sitting here, we're talking,

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conversation that will happen.

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So conversation that's going to happen and it's going to be great.

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Yeah.

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Like accepting the moment it at hand is detachment.

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And I think a lot of people think, which is not resisting to change or transition or

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the expectations that we have.

262
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:57,300
Because that's what you're talking about in the middle of the night.

263
00:10:57,300 --> 00:11:00,300
And so, you know, you're going to have to expect things.

264
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:01,300
Well, maybe I'm wrong.

265
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:02,300
So tell me if I'm wrong.

266
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:07,300
You're, you expect something to happen a certain way, but then your mind goes, and if it doesn't

267
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,300
happen that way, it's going to go this bad place.

268
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,300
Yes.

269
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,300
That's exactly the way that it could go.

270
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:12,300
Yeah.

271
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:17,300
So you're also accepting or expecting the negative situation as well.

272
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:22,300
But it's never the, no, what if it all turns out well, my mind never goes to the positive

273
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:23,300
first.

274
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:24,300
I want it to.

275
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:28,300
I want myself to do that, which we'll talk about today.

276
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:33,060
Some tips on how to help yourself go to the positive instead of the negative.

277
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:37,540
And I'm not a negative person, but the, no, you're not.

278
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:44,300
When it comes to worrying about my family or my kids, I am a very sort of smotherer.

279
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:46,300
I owe a hoverer.

280
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:47,300
Yes.

281
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:48,300
Name more.

282
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:49,300
I don't know anymore.

283
00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:50,300
Oh, we can just put it together.

284
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:53,300
I am a hoverer, smotherer, mother.

285
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,300
I am.

286
00:11:54,300 --> 00:12:00,220
I definitely am because I'm so afraid that something's going to happen to them that if

287
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:03,420
I'm there, I can control it.

288
00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:04,900
You can control nothing.

289
00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:05,900
And that's what we're going to talk about.

290
00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:06,900
Yeah.

291
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:10,500
So let's talk about it.

292
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:18,220
One of the first ways to help create certainty in an uncertain situation or your life in

293
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:24,180
general is you really need to watch what you consume.

294
00:12:24,180 --> 00:12:26,020
And that doesn't mean just food.

295
00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:28,620
That is a part of it.

296
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:32,260
Healthy food, healthy diet, exercise, breathe, meditate, that's all part of it.

297
00:12:32,260 --> 00:12:37,380
But what you're watching and what you're looking at, what you're consuming daily, even if it's

298
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:40,900
on in the background, is all a part of the uncertainty.

299
00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,060
The news.

300
00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:46,780
If you are an anxiety-ridden warrior, you have to turn it off.

301
00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:47,780
Yeah.

302
00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:49,820
You have to turn it off.

303
00:12:49,820 --> 00:12:51,860
And it's never positive.

304
00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:53,020
Social media.

305
00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:59,060
I was reading that someone said, unfollow even your friends.

306
00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:05,460
If their stories or their posts make you feel bad about yourself and that is only you will

307
00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:07,700
know that, unfollow them.

308
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:11,140
The less you see it, the less you'll feel bad.

309
00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:15,380
Even if it's positive for them, maybe it makes you feel bad about yourself.

310
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:16,380
That's true.

311
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:20,460
And that might sound like you're being jealous or something, but it's not.

312
00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:26,860
It's just cracking away at all the negativity and controlling what is consuming you.

313
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:28,380
Yeah, really, that's all it is.

314
00:13:28,380 --> 00:13:29,380
I agree.

315
00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:30,380
So turn the...

316
00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:31,380
I'm not a news watcher.

317
00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:32,380
No.

318
00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:33,380
It scares me.

319
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:34,540
It doesn't scare me.

320
00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:40,220
It's just how much darkness can you take in when life is already pretty dark?

321
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:44,740
And this, I did read that there's 7.5 billion people in the world.

322
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,740
I mean, I can't really even fathom that number.

323
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:54,180
But there's a lot more good things and good people in the world than there are bad, but

324
00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:56,740
we're only consuming the bad.

325
00:13:56,740 --> 00:13:57,740
Yeah.

326
00:13:57,740 --> 00:14:02,460
The good are not as loud as the bad.

327
00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:03,460
Right.

328
00:14:03,460 --> 00:14:04,460
There's no such...

329
00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:05,460
Well, there was during COVID.

330
00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:07,340
I was gonna say there's no good news.

331
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:08,460
It's always something bad.

332
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:09,460
What was his name?

333
00:14:09,460 --> 00:14:10,460
Tom Grzinski.

334
00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:11,460
Tom Grzinski.

335
00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:12,460
Huh?

336
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:13,460
Not Tom.

337
00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:14,460
John Grzinski.

338
00:14:14,460 --> 00:14:15,460
Yeah.

339
00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:16,460
It was the good news.

340
00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:17,460
Yeah.

341
00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:21,660
And he would do like a YouTube video weekly or whatever about all the good things that

342
00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:22,780
happened that week.

343
00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:24,460
And I used to watch it because I was like, oh my gosh.

344
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:25,900
It was my favorite.

345
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:30,060
It was funny and it was also very positive, but we don't watch that.

346
00:14:30,060 --> 00:14:33,740
It soon as the world got back to life, that kind of went away.

347
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:34,740
Right.

348
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:35,740
So I like it.

349
00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:36,740
Consumption.

350
00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:37,740
Mm-hmm.

351
00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:42,580
Taking the healthy mental meals as well as the physical healthy meals.

352
00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:43,580
Yeah.

353
00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:49,940
And I like to do them and gloom, unfollow the news, unfollow it all.

354
00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:57,620
Another tip to try and help you live in a more certain stable feeling is I really liked

355
00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:58,620
this analogy.

356
00:14:58,620 --> 00:15:02,220
It was called a peace filter to find your peace.

357
00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:04,220
Peace like, peace fingers, not P-I-E-C-E.

358
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:05,220
Yeah.

359
00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:06,220
A peace.

360
00:15:06,220 --> 00:15:07,220
P-E-A-C-E.

361
00:15:07,220 --> 00:15:08,220
And I'm gonna do it right now.

362
00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:10,540
Why does the tongue have to come out though?

363
00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:15,820
Because when I do a double peace finger, I like, you have to, and you're squinting an

364
00:15:15,820 --> 00:15:16,820
eye.

365
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:17,820
Yeah.

366
00:15:17,820 --> 00:15:21,060
It's like the Miley Cyrus or like the emoji.

367
00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:22,940
Well there's definitely not an emoji of this.

368
00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:25,820
And I think if there isn't an emoji, you should probably stray from doing it in real

369
00:15:25,820 --> 00:15:26,820
life as well.

370
00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:30,860
But you continue the peace filter.

371
00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:35,580
And what that means is think of yourself as a coffee filter.

372
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:36,580
Okay.

373
00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:37,940
A literal, you know what it looks like.

374
00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:42,620
It's white, you put the grounds in and the coffee comes out, but the grounds stay in the

375
00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:43,620
filter.

376
00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:44,620
Right.

377
00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:45,620
You want to find your peace.

378
00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:46,620
You are the coffee.

379
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:50,620
Of course you are the coffee because coffee is the greatest thing on earth.

380
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,460
You want the hot water and the coffee.

381
00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:53,700
That is your peace.

382
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:55,660
The grounds get to be thrown away.

383
00:15:55,660 --> 00:16:00,580
So how you find your peace, how you find your coffee is up to you.

384
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:04,320
And then it's really hard how to do that, but you have to filter it.

385
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:09,740
So if that's stop consuming the negative, if that's stop, you know, eating unhealthy

386
00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:13,180
because the toxins are making you feel bad about yourself, which is making you feel bad

387
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:17,860
about life, like you have to find your peace.

388
00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:25,060
There's something by a nonning moose that says if it's not, I'm going to paraphrase

389
00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:28,060
the cursing, but if it's not a hell yeah, it's a hell no.

390
00:16:28,060 --> 00:16:29,060
Yeah.

391
00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:35,500
If you don't immediately feel drawn or happy about something or even just determined about

392
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,820
something, then it's scrap it.

393
00:16:37,820 --> 00:16:39,060
Get rid of it.

394
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,060
Say no to it.

395
00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:41,140
You've made the decision.

396
00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:46,580
And that I think is a really good, I think it's a piece of that peace filter where that's

397
00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:47,580
a coffee ground.

398
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:48,580
Yeah.

399
00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:49,580
It's not saying yes, that's a no.

400
00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:50,580
There you go.

401
00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:56,300
Then you go into this, this section of life or you get completely eliminated.

402
00:16:56,300 --> 00:17:00,500
And I think for you, that's the point you were making about making a decision.

403
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:04,100
Like you either have to make it, but there's no in between make it and be like, yes, I'm

404
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:06,580
excited or no, like it's done.

405
00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:07,580
I'm moving on.

406
00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:10,020
Well, I pay the anxiety cost.

407
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:11,020
You know what that is?

408
00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:12,020
No.

409
00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:13,580
So it's expensive.

410
00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:14,860
It's super expensive.

411
00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:15,860
Can I afford it?

412
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:16,860
No.

413
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:20,460
No, but you do it too.

414
00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:21,780
And I think a lot of people do it.

415
00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:27,180
So it's the theory, I'll keep it short is that say it is, let's talk about decisions.

416
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:31,220
So I have to make a decision and I'm presented with this decision on Monday.

417
00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:35,180
You gotta make this decision A or B.

418
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,460
And I have to make it by Friday.

419
00:17:37,460 --> 00:17:42,220
Well, instead of just making it on Monday with what feels good to me and saying yes

420
00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:45,820
to one of those two options, I wait till Thursday night.

421
00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:50,660
But my anxiety cost, the price I pay is ruining my Monday night, my Tuesday, my Wednesday,

422
00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:52,380
and my Thursday.

423
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:53,820
Carly's raising her hand very high.

424
00:17:53,820 --> 00:17:54,820
It's me.

425
00:17:54,820 --> 00:17:57,660
We all do that and it's called the anxiety cost.

426
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:02,780
And we do it with procrastination like chores we have to do or emails we have to send.

427
00:18:02,780 --> 00:18:07,420
Anything that I would say, anything that you can't just do right off the bat without thinking,

428
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,060
it's something that you don't want to do.

429
00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:10,060
Yeah.

430
00:18:10,060 --> 00:18:11,060
Like I've done that with emails.

431
00:18:11,060 --> 00:18:12,060
I'm like, I'll get back to them.

432
00:18:12,060 --> 00:18:16,540
I'll get back to them because I'm procrastinating for some reason, depending on what it is.

433
00:18:16,540 --> 00:18:17,780
I don't know.

434
00:18:17,780 --> 00:18:19,660
And that you pay that cost in between.

435
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:22,180
So, stealing your life.

436
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:23,180
Exactly.

437
00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:24,180
And that tax.

438
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:25,180
You cannot afford it.

439
00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:26,180
You can afford it.

440
00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:27,180
It is too expensive.

441
00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:31,020
And if it's too expensive and it costs you your peace, you've got to let it go.

442
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:35,180
So that it's just another piece of that peace filter, which I really like the coffee analogy.

443
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,620
Who doesn't love coffee?

444
00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:42,620
But if you just deal with it, the moment it happens, however, it aligns with you.

445
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:48,860
And these are all words that people are like, eh, trigger, align, accept, let go, anxiety

446
00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:50,660
cross, but it's all true.

447
00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:51,660
It's all real.

448
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:57,980
If it doesn't feel like it's aligning with something that feels good to you, it's a no.

449
00:18:57,980 --> 00:19:03,740
When you say align, I immediately think of the stars, like aligning in a line.

450
00:19:03,740 --> 00:19:07,660
And then I go to a different place and you're hippie, hippie spot.

451
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:12,500
Oh, but that's a really good thing to think of.

452
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:16,700
Because what if what if the thing that doesn't align, it's supposed to fit in that star star

453
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:19,940
path and it doesn't align and you're trying to.

454
00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:21,460
So that's how you know it's not aligning.

455
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:24,340
And it's like, well, then that star is meant for a different galaxy.

456
00:19:24,340 --> 00:19:25,580
It's not meant for mine.

457
00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:27,540
All right, I'm with you.

458
00:19:27,540 --> 00:19:28,540
Yeah, moving on.

459
00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:29,540
Next tip.

460
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:30,540
Okay.

461
00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:37,980
So this is going to sound super silly and like, duh.

462
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:42,220
Wait, so you're the net?

463
00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:43,220
Yeah.

464
00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:44,420
Duh.

465
00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:48,780
You have to match the uncertainty with certainty.

466
00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:51,060
Doesn't that sound silly?

467
00:19:51,060 --> 00:19:52,060
Because you're like, yeah, duh.

468
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:53,460
I don't think silly is the word.

469
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:54,460
You have to match.

470
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:58,260
You have to match the uncertainty with your certainty.

471
00:19:58,260 --> 00:20:01,620
So nothing external.

472
00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:03,140
You can do anything about.

473
00:20:03,140 --> 00:20:05,020
This is all about control.

474
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:07,380
It's all internal.

475
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:13,060
You can only control what you can control the world, the news, social media, everything

476
00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:15,500
out there, you cannot control it.

477
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:19,780
So you need to match with every uncertainty that you have.

478
00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:24,220
If you wrote a list down, you need to write a list of all the things you are absolutely

479
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:28,500
certain about and guaranteed they will be all things that are internal.

480
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:33,260
The internal things match the external.

481
00:20:33,260 --> 00:20:36,220
The internal is the only thing you can control.

482
00:20:36,220 --> 00:20:38,300
Yeah, you can't control other people.

483
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:39,300
It's impossible.

484
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:40,300
It's not silly.

485
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:44,860
But by saying, yeah, duh, we need to match uncertainty with certainty and then it will

486
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:47,500
be all even and then I'll be certain again.

487
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:48,500
Like no.

488
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:56,780
Well, my mathematician friend, John Allen Paulos, Johnny P, he said uncertainty is the

489
00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:59,420
only certainty there is.

490
00:20:59,420 --> 00:21:03,540
And knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.

491
00:21:03,540 --> 00:21:04,540
Yeah.

492
00:21:04,540 --> 00:21:05,540
That's so hard.

493
00:21:05,540 --> 00:21:06,540
It's the same thing.

494
00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:07,540
It's so hard.

495
00:21:07,540 --> 00:21:08,540
It's so hard, Johnny P.

496
00:21:08,540 --> 00:21:10,540
See, that was sillier.

497
00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:13,620
So we know the gauge of silliness, that was sillier.

498
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:18,300
But it's so true because life is completely uncertain 100 percent of the time.

499
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:26,140
If you want to put a number and a percentage on things, 100 percent of the time is uncertain.

500
00:21:26,140 --> 00:21:30,340
I hate that because I am a planner and I like to plan.

501
00:21:30,340 --> 00:21:31,340
You're a fool.

502
00:21:31,340 --> 00:21:32,340
I know.

503
00:21:32,340 --> 00:21:35,380
I know because, you know, it never works out that way.

504
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:37,780
And a lot of times it works out better.

505
00:21:37,780 --> 00:21:38,780
Yeah, that's true.

506
00:21:38,780 --> 00:21:39,940
You don't think about that.

507
00:21:39,940 --> 00:21:41,440
That's so true.

508
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,860
What is that phrase when one door closes and another opens?

509
00:21:44,860 --> 00:21:46,020
That's exactly what it is.

510
00:21:46,020 --> 00:21:50,020
All the things I had planned for in my life did not happen.

511
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:51,020
They happened a better way.

512
00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:52,020
But they did.

513
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,020
But they did.

514
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:54,020
Right.

515
00:21:54,020 --> 00:21:55,020
Right.

516
00:21:55,020 --> 00:21:56,020
But because it's all in your mind.

517
00:21:56,020 --> 00:21:57,180
It's all how you look at things.

518
00:21:57,180 --> 00:22:02,300
And this is all about, you know, control and stress and anxiety comes from thinking and

519
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:07,420
worrying about what you can't control, which is a lot.

520
00:22:07,420 --> 00:22:08,780
You can't control a lot.

521
00:22:08,780 --> 00:22:10,740
And that's what we worry about.

522
00:22:10,740 --> 00:22:11,740
Yeah.

523
00:22:11,740 --> 00:22:15,660
So it's really all about like living in the moment, which is hard for a lot of people,

524
00:22:15,660 --> 00:22:16,660
myself included.

525
00:22:16,660 --> 00:22:17,660
Yeah.

526
00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:19,660
You have to be present.

527
00:22:19,660 --> 00:22:21,340
And so you have to accept.

528
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,340
First you have to accept, right?

529
00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:24,180
And that means you have to surrender.

530
00:22:24,180 --> 00:22:29,740
You have to surrender to the resistance and the friction of change.

531
00:22:29,740 --> 00:22:33,620
Because everything that we're talking about, no matter what situation it is, decision,

532
00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:35,300
event, it's about change.

533
00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:36,380
Something's changing.

534
00:22:36,380 --> 00:22:37,980
And that's where the anxiety comes from.

535
00:22:37,980 --> 00:22:43,540
So you have to accept just kind of giving up the control to it.

536
00:22:43,540 --> 00:22:47,860
And that's just being present in the moment and not worrying, being like, you know what,

537
00:22:47,860 --> 00:22:50,500
I'm aware that I'm very anxious about this.

538
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:54,620
I am going to choose to not be in my head right now and I'm going to be at this birthday

539
00:22:54,620 --> 00:22:55,620
party.

540
00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:56,620
Yeah.

541
00:22:56,620 --> 00:22:57,860
So I was just going to say, you have to live in the present moment.

542
00:22:57,860 --> 00:23:00,220
So you've got to be in the moment and you have to detach.

543
00:23:00,220 --> 00:23:02,220
So a good way to start doing that.

544
00:23:02,220 --> 00:23:04,020
Because a lot of what we're saying is like, that's nice.

545
00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:05,020
How do you do it though?

546
00:23:05,020 --> 00:23:06,020
Right.

547
00:23:06,020 --> 00:23:08,340
Like I said earlier, you have to name the anxiety.

548
00:23:08,340 --> 00:23:10,580
Just like we feel like we've said this a lot.

549
00:23:10,580 --> 00:23:14,780
You have to name it like Betty like Betty, like our friend, Betty.

550
00:23:14,780 --> 00:23:17,460
I think we've named our anxiety Betty before in an episode.

551
00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:18,460
We.

552
00:23:18,460 --> 00:23:20,420
Yeah, I think we've made a lot of things.

553
00:23:20,420 --> 00:23:21,420
Betty.

554
00:23:21,420 --> 00:23:22,420
We do love a good Betty white.

555
00:23:22,420 --> 00:23:25,500
So Betty white, I'm going to choose that.

556
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:26,500
It's Betty white.

557
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:27,500
Okay.

558
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,500
You have to name it.

559
00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:30,300
You have to be like, all right, this is Betty.

560
00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:32,260
This is not me right now.

561
00:23:32,260 --> 00:23:37,180
I'm going to choose to put that aside and be here.

562
00:23:37,180 --> 00:23:42,580
And by being in the moment and putting Betty to the wayside for the moment.

563
00:23:44,940 --> 00:23:48,500
The solution will present itself because you can't focus.

564
00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:54,100
You can't get the result that you need by focusing on the obstacle that's in its way.

565
00:23:55,260 --> 00:23:56,740
It's like trying to show you.

566
00:23:56,740 --> 00:23:58,420
OK, so that door you're talking about. Yeah.

567
00:23:58,980 --> 00:24:01,580
What you want is on the other side of that door.

568
00:24:01,580 --> 00:24:04,060
And there's another door, right?

569
00:24:04,260 --> 00:24:05,540
That one's open. Yeah.

570
00:24:05,540 --> 00:24:08,500
But you're worried about this closed door and the handles burning.

571
00:24:08,500 --> 00:24:11,820
And you're just trying to touch the handle and open the handle and get through the door.

572
00:24:11,820 --> 00:24:13,900
But there's another door right there.

573
00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:19,020
So what you do in that moment is you step away from that door and that really hot handle.

574
00:24:19,220 --> 00:24:22,300
And you're like, OK, I'm aware that this door is here.

575
00:24:22,500 --> 00:24:23,740
I'm going to take a moment.

576
00:24:23,940 --> 00:24:27,100
And in that moment, you'll probably look to the right and see that open door.

577
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:29,100
Right. Because you're taking a second to breathe.

578
00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:31,100
Right. And then be like, oh,

579
00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:33,180
actually, here's where we're going to go.

580
00:24:33,380 --> 00:24:34,460
Here's the better solution.

581
00:24:34,460 --> 00:24:35,740
And then it works out for everybody.

582
00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:37,100
It just is a different door. That one's blue.

583
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:37,700
This one's red.

584
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:40,180
That is really interesting that you just said that too,

585
00:24:40,380 --> 00:24:44,140
because what I was going to say next is that fear creates uncertainty.

586
00:24:44,340 --> 00:24:48,220
Right. And if what I researched,

587
00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:52,020
we're going to send you the podcast link because I really like this guy's name,

588
00:24:52,220 --> 00:24:53,500
Daniel, he's awesome.

589
00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:56,220
And he made it in terms that I understood.

590
00:24:56,220 --> 00:24:59,140
Yeah. Because a lot of the times people talk about this all the time.

591
00:24:59,140 --> 00:25:01,980
Yeah, there are 10,000 podcasts on uncertainty.

592
00:25:02,180 --> 00:25:05,180
But if you don't say it in words or

593
00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:06,540
yeah, what are you talking about?

594
00:25:06,740 --> 00:25:09,980
Like a metaphor and alibi that you can understand.

595
00:25:10,180 --> 00:25:10,980
It means nothing.

596
00:25:11,180 --> 00:25:13,660
Is there a podcast for dummies?

597
00:25:13,860 --> 00:25:18,180
You know, those books, like something for dummies, uncertainty for dummies.

598
00:25:18,380 --> 00:25:19,220
That would be so great.

599
00:25:19,420 --> 00:25:20,140
Yeah, I already said it.

600
00:25:20,340 --> 00:25:23,140
It's called match certainty with uncertainty.

601
00:25:23,340 --> 00:25:25,300
I think the book is empty.

602
00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:27,860
You buy it and there's nothing on the pages.

603
00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:29,620
But anyway, what did Danny say?

604
00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:31,180
Fear creates uncertainty.

605
00:25:31,180 --> 00:25:35,140
So when you feel that stress and that anxiety, when you're opening that hot door

606
00:25:35,140 --> 00:25:38,260
and you can't get through and you're burning your hand, you need to do what

607
00:25:38,460 --> 00:25:42,180
Victoria said, take a step back and ask yourself, am I safe?

608
00:25:42,380 --> 00:25:44,140
Yeah, just ask that one question.

609
00:25:44,340 --> 00:25:45,060
Am I safe?

610
00:25:45,060 --> 00:25:48,340
You're at a kid's birthday party and you're like thinking about the future.

611
00:25:48,540 --> 00:25:50,580
Stop for a second and say, am I safe?

612
00:25:50,780 --> 00:25:51,460
Yeah, I am.

613
00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:53,540
I'm at a kid's birthday party with my family.

614
00:25:53,740 --> 00:25:57,700
You know, I'm thinking about five days from now when I have to make that decision

615
00:25:57,700 --> 00:26:00,220
or thinking about what could happen in the situation.

616
00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:01,380
But I'm safe right now.

617
00:26:01,580 --> 00:26:04,100
Luckily, because not everybody can say that.

618
00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:06,020
There's a lot of people that can't say that.

619
00:26:06,220 --> 00:26:07,900
So you say, am I safe?

620
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:11,980
Yes. Go take a walk for 15 minutes in the sun.

621
00:26:12,180 --> 00:26:17,380
Guaranteed when you come back, you will feel so much better.

622
00:26:17,580 --> 00:26:21,740
And well, when you're on that walk, you have to think about all the things you are

623
00:26:21,940 --> 00:26:22,940
certain about.

624
00:26:22,940 --> 00:26:28,340
Well, the book, OK, I'm sorry.

625
00:26:28,540 --> 00:26:30,140
That was Betty talking.

626
00:26:30,340 --> 00:26:31,460
I really went for it.

627
00:26:31,660 --> 00:26:32,740
Betty's a cartoon.

628
00:26:32,940 --> 00:26:33,700
Go big or go home.

629
00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:36,860
Then on the WB.

630
00:26:39,420 --> 00:26:40,580
But yeah, that's the truth.

631
00:26:40,780 --> 00:26:45,220
And if you're thinking about a certain situation, you're saying, OK, guys,

632
00:26:45,420 --> 00:26:46,380
that's really great.

633
00:26:46,580 --> 00:26:51,900
But my fear and anxiety and my uncertainties, I don't know how I'm to pay my rent

634
00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:54,660
next week. I have no idea how I'm going to pay my rent.

635
00:26:54,860 --> 00:26:56,860
You ask yourself, am I safe?

636
00:26:57,060 --> 00:26:57,900
Yes, I'm safe.

637
00:26:58,100 --> 00:27:03,660
Once you're in that safe space, then you can focus on how to take action

638
00:27:03,860 --> 00:27:04,940
to pay the bills.

639
00:27:05,140 --> 00:27:07,780
Well, if I do this, then this is going to happen.

640
00:27:07,980 --> 00:27:11,420
If I do this, then this can happen and then it will work out.

641
00:27:11,620 --> 00:27:17,540
But if you are in a frantic state of craziness worrying, then no,

642
00:27:17,740 --> 00:27:21,500
you're going to live in that uncertainty field where you can't get out of it.

643
00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:22,860
It's like literally like a corn maze.

644
00:27:23,060 --> 00:27:25,020
Yeah. You know, and you can't get out of it.

645
00:27:25,220 --> 00:27:33,220
So if you just take, as the kids say, take a beat, I know, give me a beat.

646
00:27:35,100 --> 00:27:42,220
Then your focus will be back and you will figure out how to control to create

647
00:27:42,420 --> 00:27:45,180
certainty. It's just really hard to do.

648
00:27:45,380 --> 00:27:48,020
Yeah. Good way to do that is to breathe,

649
00:27:48,220 --> 00:27:51,180
which really is another word for grounding and centering yourself.

650
00:27:51,180 --> 00:27:53,260
That being safe that you're talking about.

651
00:27:53,460 --> 00:27:57,980
Yes, just centering yourself and centering yourself is putting yourself in the room

652
00:27:58,180 --> 00:28:00,660
that you're in instead of in your head.

653
00:28:00,860 --> 00:28:01,740
And it's hard.

654
00:28:01,740 --> 00:28:02,260
That's all it is.

655
00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:05,300
And that's so if you've ever taken a yoga class, that's why you breathe in the

656
00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:06,740
beginning. What?

657
00:28:06,940 --> 00:28:09,060
What do you think we're doing in the beginning of yoga?

658
00:28:09,260 --> 00:28:11,100
Like warming up, getting ready.

659
00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:12,460
But you're not even doing that.

660
00:28:12,660 --> 00:28:15,260
So when he says breathe, you're like,

661
00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:17,220
I'm a guy.

662
00:28:17,420 --> 00:28:18,060
What are we going to do?

663
00:28:18,260 --> 00:28:19,820
Doing downward dog.

664
00:28:19,820 --> 00:28:21,780
So maybe sorry, Tyler.

665
00:28:21,980 --> 00:28:22,620
Next time.

666
00:28:22,820 --> 00:28:24,340
And Tyler's like, I give up on you.

667
00:28:24,540 --> 00:28:25,580
Yeah, I think he has.

668
00:28:25,780 --> 00:28:26,820
He's actually yelling right now.

669
00:28:26,820 --> 00:28:27,380
That's so true.

670
00:28:27,580 --> 00:28:28,220
I know.

671
00:28:28,420 --> 00:28:29,620
But you're a great breather.

672
00:28:29,820 --> 00:28:30,620
No, false.

673
00:28:30,620 --> 00:28:31,220
He's lying.

674
00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:32,100
He's a very nice person.

675
00:28:32,100 --> 00:28:32,780
He's lying.

676
00:28:32,980 --> 00:28:36,020
So in the beginning of every yoga class, you do something called Pratiyahara.

677
00:28:36,220 --> 00:28:38,540
And it's basically that sounds great.

678
00:28:38,740 --> 00:28:41,180
But what I want to say is Maria.

679
00:28:41,380 --> 00:28:42,380
Maria.

680
00:28:42,580 --> 00:28:43,100
That's what I heard.

681
00:28:43,300 --> 00:28:44,260
Maria.

682
00:28:44,460 --> 00:28:46,060
Say it again.

683
00:28:46,260 --> 00:28:47,780
Say it again.

684
00:28:47,980 --> 00:28:49,100
Pratiyahara.

685
00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:50,100
Pratiyahara.

686
00:28:50,300 --> 00:28:51,100
Oh, my gosh.

687
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:52,300
Pratiyahara.

688
00:28:52,500 --> 00:28:54,020
You guys are all saying that too.

689
00:28:54,220 --> 00:28:55,020
I know you were.

690
00:28:55,220 --> 00:28:58,060
She was like, Pratiyahara.

691
00:28:58,260 --> 00:29:01,860
It's the art of withdrawing from the external chaos, i.e.

692
00:29:02,060 --> 00:29:03,940
Carly. That is what it means.

693
00:29:04,140 --> 00:29:06,220
It's tuning inward

694
00:29:06,420 --> 00:29:09,220
and silencing the chaos around you.

695
00:29:09,420 --> 00:29:10,340
I just snorted.

696
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:11,500
You sure did.

697
00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:15,980
There are veins popping out of places that I didn't think she had in her head and her neck.

698
00:29:16,180 --> 00:29:17,980
You're so pleased with yourself.

699
00:29:17,980 --> 00:29:19,260
That is clever.

700
00:29:19,460 --> 00:29:22,460
But no, yes, no, yes.

701
00:29:22,660 --> 00:29:23,860
I say, take a beat.

702
00:29:24,060 --> 00:29:25,060
It's called ground.

703
00:29:25,260 --> 00:29:26,980
Yeah, it's all the same thing.

704
00:29:26,980 --> 00:29:28,260
And you slow your breath down.

705
00:29:28,260 --> 00:29:30,420
If you slow your breath down, you're going to slow your heart rate down.

706
00:29:30,620 --> 00:29:33,260
So that anxiety and that fear elevate your heart.

707
00:29:33,260 --> 00:29:35,620
No matter what you don't have to be running for that.

708
00:29:35,820 --> 00:29:37,940
So if you breathe, it slows it all down.

709
00:29:38,140 --> 00:29:39,900
Then you're able to think a little bit clearer

710
00:29:40,100 --> 00:29:43,260
and you can decide that you're safe in that moment and then make the next

711
00:29:43,460 --> 00:29:45,580
decision or the next action from there.

712
00:29:45,580 --> 00:29:48,300
So it's not rocket science.

713
00:29:48,500 --> 00:29:51,020
No. And that's what I'm trying to say.

714
00:29:51,220 --> 00:29:55,180
Like everybody can do this, but it's as Victoria says, it's a practice.

715
00:29:55,380 --> 00:29:56,340
Like it really is.

716
00:29:56,340 --> 00:29:57,140
You have to practice.

717
00:29:57,140 --> 00:30:00,500
It's not just going to pop into your head one day and be like, I'm going to be this person now.

718
00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:03,060
Like it obviously takes work.

719
00:30:03,260 --> 00:30:09,740
The action part is what you can control and that I was thinking about this earlier this morning.

720
00:30:09,940 --> 00:30:10,660
Yeah, the action.

721
00:30:10,860 --> 00:30:14,500
The action is the most important part because you that's what you can control.

722
00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:20,820
So if you are into politics and you're not happy with how the world is going in politics.

723
00:30:20,820 --> 00:30:22,980
Now, we're not going to get into politics, but what's your action?

724
00:30:23,180 --> 00:30:23,620
Vote.

725
00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:24,260
Right.

726
00:30:24,460 --> 00:30:25,380
That's the action.

727
00:30:25,580 --> 00:30:25,780
Right.

728
00:30:25,980 --> 00:30:27,100
That's what you can control.

729
00:30:27,300 --> 00:30:30,820
You can't control what other people think you can't control other people's opinions,

730
00:30:31,020 --> 00:30:34,540
but you can't control what works you up in a conversation about politics.

731
00:30:34,740 --> 00:30:36,700
What you can control is voting.

732
00:30:36,900 --> 00:30:37,660
So do that.

733
00:30:37,860 --> 00:30:38,140
Right.

734
00:30:38,340 --> 00:30:40,220
And let that be that.

735
00:30:40,420 --> 00:30:40,540
Right.

736
00:30:40,740 --> 00:30:43,780
You know, instead of worrying about it for the next couple, whatever.

737
00:30:43,780 --> 00:30:46,620
My boy Anana Moose is back.

738
00:30:46,820 --> 00:30:53,660
And I saw this online and it says the secret to happiness is letting every situation be

739
00:30:53,860 --> 00:30:56,700
what it is instead of what you think it should be.

740
00:30:56,900 --> 00:30:57,340
Yeah.

741
00:30:57,540 --> 00:31:00,540
And then making the best of that.

742
00:31:00,740 --> 00:31:02,820
So that's another way to say it is what it is.

743
00:31:03,020 --> 00:31:03,820
It'll be what it'll be.

744
00:31:04,020 --> 00:31:09,900
But letting go of what you think something should be doing and what someone should be doing.

745
00:31:09,900 --> 00:31:15,460
Settle into the fact that what's happening right now is this is great.

746
00:31:15,660 --> 00:31:16,460
This is what's happening.

747
00:31:16,460 --> 00:31:17,180
This is where I am.

748
00:31:17,380 --> 00:31:21,060
This is the safe place that I'm in and then move on from there.

749
00:31:21,260 --> 00:31:21,420
Yeah.

750
00:31:21,620 --> 00:31:25,580
Because you can't certainly can't go backwards.

751
00:31:25,780 --> 00:31:28,620
Can't take any steps back and try to make the decision different.

752
00:31:28,820 --> 00:31:31,220
And you might not want to.

753
00:31:31,420 --> 00:31:33,980
We never we never should want to sometimes we do want to.

754
00:31:34,180 --> 00:31:38,460
But yeah, it's if you let go of what you think things should be.

755
00:31:38,460 --> 00:31:43,180
And then from what you think things should be, you worry about what they probably won't be.

756
00:31:43,380 --> 00:31:43,780
Right.

757
00:31:43,980 --> 00:31:46,620
And then that gets you into that spiral.

758
00:31:46,820 --> 00:31:50,940
And I think, well, I know that the

759
00:31:51,140 --> 00:31:52,740
prove it, prove it.

760
00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:57,780
I'm not saying I do it, but personal development and something I'm working on.

761
00:31:57,980 --> 00:32:00,420
But personal development is the prove it.

762
00:32:00,620 --> 00:32:01,980
Just kidding.

763
00:32:02,180 --> 00:32:05,580
Dead serious, but keep going.

764
00:32:05,780 --> 00:32:07,900
I swear I work on it.

765
00:32:07,900 --> 00:32:09,740
Sometimes not when you're sleeping.

766
00:32:09,940 --> 00:32:12,860
No, but this is going to help me sleep.

767
00:32:13,060 --> 00:32:14,220
This is going to help me sleep.

768
00:32:14,420 --> 00:32:14,580
Yeah.

769
00:32:14,780 --> 00:32:15,100
What is it?

770
00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:16,540
Personal development.

771
00:32:16,740 --> 00:32:19,980
I hope you spit your coffee out is the only thing we can control.

772
00:32:20,180 --> 00:32:24,420
Working on ourselves is how we control the uncertainty in our lives.

773
00:32:24,620 --> 00:32:25,780
How is your mental health?

774
00:32:25,780 --> 00:32:26,940
How is your physical health?

775
00:32:27,140 --> 00:32:28,340
How is your mindfulness?

776
00:32:28,540 --> 00:32:33,620
All of those things are things that you need to work on to create certainty in your life.

777
00:32:33,820 --> 00:32:34,020
Right.

778
00:32:34,220 --> 00:32:37,580
To be able to take action to create more uncertainty.

779
00:32:37,580 --> 00:32:41,620
But you can't create the certainty without working on yourself first.

780
00:32:41,820 --> 00:32:46,020
It comes from the internal so that you can create certainty in the external.

781
00:32:46,220 --> 00:32:47,700
And this analogy was really good.

782
00:32:47,900 --> 00:32:48,700
And I liked it a lot.

783
00:32:48,900 --> 00:32:54,500
If you knew in seven months from now that you needed to fight in like a ring,

784
00:32:54,700 --> 00:32:59,580
be a fighter, would you do nothing and worry about it for seven months?

785
00:32:59,780 --> 00:33:00,220
Right.

786
00:33:00,420 --> 00:33:05,300
Or would you take action and prepare your mind, your body, physically,

787
00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:08,980
everything you needed to do so that you crushed it in seven months?

788
00:33:09,180 --> 00:33:09,340
Right.

789
00:33:09,540 --> 00:33:10,780
Hopefully you would do that.

790
00:33:10,980 --> 00:33:16,700
So your life should be preparing for these moments that you're uncertain about.

791
00:33:16,900 --> 00:33:21,820
You need to be preparing for them and you need to prepare from the inside so that

792
00:33:22,020 --> 00:33:24,340
the external won't bother you so much.

793
00:33:24,540 --> 00:33:29,180
I would venture to say if you do this preparation for uncertainty,

794
00:33:29,380 --> 00:33:31,580
uncertainty won't even come around.

795
00:33:31,780 --> 00:33:32,940
It wouldn't be a thing.

796
00:33:32,940 --> 00:33:35,380
It wouldn't exist because you'd be OK.

797
00:33:35,580 --> 00:33:36,820
Yeah, you'd be OK.

798
00:33:37,020 --> 00:33:38,340
It's yeah, I like that.

799
00:33:38,540 --> 00:33:39,660
That's true.

800
00:33:39,860 --> 00:33:43,420
Like I hope you wouldn't just sit there for seven months and worry about anxiety

801
00:33:43,620 --> 00:33:47,660
cost right there and then get killed in the fight, you know,

802
00:33:47,660 --> 00:33:48,940
because you didn't prepare.

803
00:33:49,140 --> 00:33:49,860
Yeah, you would get killed.

804
00:33:50,060 --> 00:33:54,140
Oh, 100 percent, because I would worry for seven months.

805
00:33:54,380 --> 00:33:57,180
But, you know, that's what we should be doing.

806
00:33:57,380 --> 00:33:59,500
Awareness is first step.

807
00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:03,420
But by making yourself stronger and putting in the work on yourself,

808
00:34:03,620 --> 00:34:06,780
I mean, that's how you create certainty in your life.

809
00:34:06,780 --> 00:34:08,860
No one else can create that for you but yourself.

810
00:34:09,060 --> 00:34:09,900
Right.

811
00:34:10,100 --> 00:34:10,500
Yeah.

812
00:34:10,700 --> 00:34:11,460
Yeah.

813
00:34:11,660 --> 00:34:12,940
Are you done with your tips?

814
00:34:13,140 --> 00:34:14,300
I'm done with my tips.

815
00:34:14,500 --> 00:34:17,260
So basically ask yourself, am I safe?

816
00:34:17,460 --> 00:34:20,260
Figure out how to focus on the one thing

817
00:34:20,460 --> 00:34:26,260
that you can control to create more control and focus on yourself.

818
00:34:26,260 --> 00:34:27,540
Really put the work in on yourself.

819
00:34:27,540 --> 00:34:29,500
Say that again about control.

820
00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:32,140
Am I safe?

821
00:34:32,340 --> 00:34:37,460
Focus on the things that you can control on yourself so that you can add more and

822
00:34:37,660 --> 00:34:41,300
more things that you are in control of, like basically add to your list.

823
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:44,100
The more you focus and work on yourself,

824
00:34:44,300 --> 00:34:49,100
the more things you can be certain about and you want a lot of things to be certain about.

825
00:34:49,300 --> 00:34:51,540
But aren't we saying that life is uncertain?

826
00:34:51,740 --> 00:34:52,220
Yes.

827
00:34:52,420 --> 00:34:54,700
But within yourself,

828
00:34:54,700 --> 00:34:57,900
you want to be able to control your mind and your physical

829
00:34:58,100 --> 00:34:59,300
ness and your health.

830
00:34:59,500 --> 00:35:01,540
You want to be able to control that within yourself.

831
00:35:01,740 --> 00:35:03,940
I'm not talking about like tomorrow's plans.

832
00:35:04,140 --> 00:35:04,460
Right.

833
00:35:04,660 --> 00:35:09,060
I'm talking about you want to have a list of certainties within yourself.

834
00:35:09,260 --> 00:35:09,500
Right.

835
00:35:09,700 --> 00:35:14,420
So that the mental space, the physical space, we're going to bypass your

836
00:35:14,620 --> 00:35:16,420
physicalness or whatever you just said.

837
00:35:16,620 --> 00:35:17,780
Physicalness, not a word.

838
00:35:17,780 --> 00:35:18,500
You said something.

839
00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:19,700
I don't even think it was physicalness.

840
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:21,660
I told myself to remember it and then I got sidetracked.

841
00:35:21,860 --> 00:35:23,420
It's OK because you can go back and listen to it.

842
00:35:23,420 --> 00:35:27,020
It's your dream of I will replay audio.

843
00:35:27,220 --> 00:35:28,740
Right now.

844
00:35:28,940 --> 00:35:32,540
Physicalness.

845
00:35:32,740 --> 00:35:34,580
So, yeah, yeah, I agree.

846
00:35:34,780 --> 00:35:35,340
I agree.

847
00:35:35,540 --> 00:35:40,940
I was confused about the word control because control has such, I think, a negative.

848
00:35:41,140 --> 00:35:46,340
And to me, it is control is negative because you can't control anything.

849
00:35:46,540 --> 00:35:49,940
But you can completely

850
00:35:49,940 --> 00:35:54,260
put awareness, I guess, is how my brain wants to think of it of your personal

851
00:35:54,260 --> 00:35:57,420
growth and of what you're doing internally, which is the same thing as

852
00:35:57,420 --> 00:36:01,380
controlling the things you can control and letting go of the things that you can

853
00:36:01,380 --> 00:36:05,100
control. Basically, this whole podcast, we just needed to say that first sentence

854
00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:07,780
that Victoria said that they say in.

855
00:36:07,980 --> 00:36:10,820
That they say, I think they say in a acceptance.

856
00:36:11,020 --> 00:36:14,020
Yes, we could have ended there.

857
00:36:14,220 --> 00:36:18,940
We could have been done and your car ride would have been a lot less silent.

858
00:36:18,940 --> 00:36:24,540
But, you know, that's that's really all it is, is accepting that you cannot see

859
00:36:24,740 --> 00:36:28,180
the future and still let it happen.

860
00:36:28,380 --> 00:36:31,100
And that's what I was talking about with detachment.

861
00:36:31,300 --> 00:36:33,420
See, I think detachment is a negative word.

862
00:36:33,620 --> 00:36:37,140
No, but that's because you're very attached to things.

863
00:36:37,340 --> 00:36:39,500
You are you practice attachment.

864
00:36:39,700 --> 00:36:40,500
I love attaching.

865
00:36:40,700 --> 00:36:45,340
Yes. So attaching is the evilness.

866
00:36:45,540 --> 00:36:48,340
So when I detach, it's very sad for me.

867
00:36:48,340 --> 00:36:50,380
Detaching is just awareness.

868
00:36:50,580 --> 00:36:52,980
It's another word for awareness and acceptance,

869
00:36:53,180 --> 00:36:55,340
because you're detaching from the outcome.

870
00:36:55,540 --> 00:36:59,620
You're you're letting go of that expectation of,

871
00:36:59,820 --> 00:37:03,260
you know, it's like what you tell with kids, don't worry about who wins.

872
00:37:03,460 --> 00:37:04,180
Just go have fun.

873
00:37:04,380 --> 00:37:06,100
Yeah, don't worry about who wins.

874
00:37:06,300 --> 00:37:07,380
Have a great game.

875
00:37:07,380 --> 00:37:08,060
Have a good time.

876
00:37:08,060 --> 00:37:09,380
Play with your friends.

877
00:37:09,380 --> 00:37:10,660
Why is life not like that?

878
00:37:10,660 --> 00:37:12,260
Why do we not say that to adults?

879
00:37:12,460 --> 00:37:13,300
Don't worry about the outcome.

880
00:37:13,300 --> 00:37:14,100
Just go have fun.

881
00:37:14,300 --> 00:37:15,420
Do a great presentation.

882
00:37:15,620 --> 00:37:16,700
Whatever happens happens.

883
00:37:16,700 --> 00:37:17,100
Right.

884
00:37:17,100 --> 00:37:19,540
If they don't pick up what you're putting down, oh, well,

885
00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:23,620
then there'll be another opportunity to to do your Excel spreadsheet

886
00:37:23,820 --> 00:37:26,740
and to make the PowerPoint and sell the pitch to somebody else.

887
00:37:26,940 --> 00:37:29,140
Yeah, but we don't do that as adults.

888
00:37:29,340 --> 00:37:32,180
So detachment, it's really just that.

889
00:37:32,380 --> 00:37:34,260
All right, you want to get nitty gritty with it here.

890
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:35,220
Don't say gritty.

891
00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:37,180
So detach.

892
00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:40,900
We're from Philly, but yeah, don't say gritty.

893
00:37:41,100 --> 00:37:43,300
Say physicalness, but don't.

894
00:37:43,500 --> 00:37:46,620
So there's a guru named Patanjali,

895
00:37:46,620 --> 00:37:49,260
which is very delco of me to say, but I'm going to say it so Carly

896
00:37:49,260 --> 00:37:50,140
doesn't sing anymore.

897
00:37:50,340 --> 00:37:51,940
Yada, you're here.

898
00:37:52,140 --> 00:37:57,140
So Patanjali, most likely, but Angelina Patanjali.

899
00:37:57,340 --> 00:37:58,140
How dare you?

900
00:37:58,340 --> 00:38:00,180
This is blasphemous.

901
00:38:00,380 --> 00:38:01,380
Everybody was thinking of it.

902
00:38:01,580 --> 00:38:02,940
May Krishna come down on you.

903
00:38:03,140 --> 00:38:04,060
Oh, I'm Mary Krishna.

904
00:38:04,260 --> 00:38:06,060
No.

905
00:38:06,260 --> 00:38:08,100
Harry Krishna.

906
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:09,580
Yes, Hade Krishna.

907
00:38:09,780 --> 00:38:10,700
Harry.

908
00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:12,780
OK.

909
00:38:12,980 --> 00:38:14,460
He's the father of modern yoga.

910
00:38:14,460 --> 00:38:18,300
He wrote this book called The Yoga Sutras, and it's basically the lesson

911
00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:23,580
plan on how to detach and and reach enlightenment, which is just being like

912
00:38:23,780 --> 00:38:29,100
your authentic self and not quite frankly, quote unquote, not giving a damn.

913
00:38:29,300 --> 00:38:30,540
Yeah.

914
00:38:30,740 --> 00:38:31,500
Explicit.

915
00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:32,380
Explicit.

916
00:38:32,580 --> 00:38:39,140
So what what it how he describes it in this first chapter is detachment is the

917
00:38:39,140 --> 00:38:46,900
conscious mastery to your consciously choosing to be the best that you can be

918
00:38:47,100 --> 00:38:49,060
over the control of desire.

919
00:38:49,260 --> 00:38:51,580
Of yeah, because it's desire of the outcome.

920
00:38:51,780 --> 00:38:59,780
It's desire of what it says is objects seen, so material items, objects perceived

921
00:38:59,980 --> 00:39:05,180
and objects heard, which is emotions, thoughts, beliefs, ideas.

922
00:39:05,180 --> 00:39:11,580
And it's just consciously being aware and detaching yourself from caring about

923
00:39:11,580 --> 00:39:12,180
that outcome.

924
00:39:12,380 --> 00:39:12,500
Right.

925
00:39:12,700 --> 00:39:13,500
That's what detachment is.

926
00:39:13,700 --> 00:39:14,420
It's not.

927
00:39:14,620 --> 00:39:15,860
I don't care about you.

928
00:39:16,060 --> 00:39:17,180
It's not caring.

929
00:39:17,380 --> 00:39:18,220
Right.

930
00:39:18,420 --> 00:39:21,260
It's not caring about the outcome.

931
00:39:21,460 --> 00:39:24,620
And that's what detachment is, detaching from people, right?

932
00:39:24,820 --> 00:39:27,820
Outcomes, from expectations.

933
00:39:28,020 --> 00:39:33,700
And if you detach, then there's no opportunity for the fear of the future.

934
00:39:33,900 --> 00:39:34,780
Right.

935
00:39:34,780 --> 00:39:37,500
Just the same like you said, just go have fun.

936
00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:37,860
Right.

937
00:39:38,060 --> 00:39:38,740
Just go be yourself.

938
00:39:38,940 --> 00:39:40,340
Well, you're good at saying that to other people.

939
00:39:40,540 --> 00:39:41,460
I'm great at it.

940
00:39:41,460 --> 00:39:45,060
I was just thinking about how Melody was like, I'm so nervous at the recital, at

941
00:39:45,060 --> 00:39:45,780
the dance recital.

942
00:39:45,780 --> 00:39:46,020
Right.

943
00:39:46,220 --> 00:39:49,060
And I was like, Melody, you know this, just go have fun.

944
00:39:49,260 --> 00:39:49,580
Yeah.

945
00:39:49,780 --> 00:39:50,700
Just go have fun.

946
00:39:50,900 --> 00:39:55,700
It's so easy to tell somebody else that had we known what we know now, but that's

947
00:39:55,900 --> 00:39:56,780
just not how life works.

948
00:39:56,980 --> 00:39:57,420
It's not.

949
00:39:57,620 --> 00:39:58,700
How about it?

950
00:39:58,900 --> 00:40:03,700
The uncertainty of knowing what we know now, but we didn't know back then.

951
00:40:03,700 --> 00:40:04,740
That's uncertainty.

952
00:40:04,940 --> 00:40:07,300
Paradi, I hear Paradi.

953
00:40:07,500 --> 00:40:07,980
Yeah.

954
00:40:09,780 --> 00:40:10,180
It's hard.

955
00:40:10,380 --> 00:40:10,540
Yeah.

956
00:40:10,740 --> 00:40:12,380
It's really hard.

957
00:40:12,580 --> 00:40:17,140
I do think I'll give all the loving parents out there.

958
00:40:17,340 --> 00:40:19,500
Not a pass, but it's hard.

959
00:40:19,700 --> 00:40:23,140
You create this second cord to your life.

960
00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:24,700
Just an expansion of you.

961
00:40:24,700 --> 00:40:24,820
Yeah.

962
00:40:24,820 --> 00:40:28,020
But then they make you cut the cord when they're born.

963
00:40:28,220 --> 00:40:30,540
Well, you technically still haven't done that.

964
00:40:30,540 --> 00:40:35,740
But yes, they make you physical in this cut the cord.

965
00:40:35,940 --> 00:40:39,620
But but you have these expansions of yourself.

966
00:40:39,820 --> 00:40:42,060
That is really hard to not

967
00:40:42,260 --> 00:40:45,300
worry that they're safe and that they're OK and that when they go to school,

968
00:40:45,300 --> 00:40:46,420
they're OK and they're safe.

969
00:40:46,420 --> 00:40:49,780
And when they go to that party birthday party for the first time without parents,

970
00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:51,100
that they're safe and that they're OK.

971
00:40:51,100 --> 00:40:52,660
I get those little moments.

972
00:40:52,660 --> 00:40:53,340
I totally get it.

973
00:40:53,340 --> 00:40:56,140
It's really hard to be like, you're going here.

974
00:40:56,340 --> 00:40:56,940
I'm good.

975
00:40:57,140 --> 00:40:57,660
I'm good.

976
00:40:57,660 --> 00:40:58,300
You'll be fine.

977
00:40:58,300 --> 00:40:59,060
Everything's been good.

978
00:40:59,060 --> 00:41:02,900
Some people are like that, and some people have an easier time doing that

979
00:41:02,900 --> 00:41:04,780
than my hub or mother or mother.

980
00:41:04,980 --> 00:41:06,140
Yeah, some people do.

981
00:41:06,340 --> 00:41:07,780
Most people, some people do.

982
00:41:07,980 --> 00:41:13,100
But I'm just saying, I agree that when it comes to taking care of little lives

983
00:41:13,300 --> 00:41:17,660
around you that you have created or that you are loving.

984
00:41:17,860 --> 00:41:25,260
There is a piece of internal worry that is that comes with having a having kit.

985
00:41:25,260 --> 00:41:26,500
It's hard to shut that off.

986
00:41:26,700 --> 00:41:27,620
It's hard to shut that off.

987
00:41:27,620 --> 00:41:33,380
That off and that is where that awareness piece of like naming Betty and Betty's

988
00:41:33,380 --> 00:41:38,260
little sister comes into play and like taking that moment to be like, they are safe.

989
00:41:38,460 --> 00:41:39,740
Yeah. Relax.

990
00:41:39,740 --> 00:41:40,940
So I hate the word relax.

991
00:41:40,940 --> 00:41:42,220
I can't believe I just said that.

992
00:41:42,420 --> 00:41:46,020
I hate when people tell me to really nothing good happens when you tell somebody to.

993
00:41:46,220 --> 00:41:50,620
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that escalated so quickly.

994
00:41:50,820 --> 00:41:52,420
Oh my God.

995
00:41:52,620 --> 00:41:54,660
I just went.

996
00:41:54,860 --> 00:41:56,140
I spiraled. I spiraled.

997
00:41:56,340 --> 00:41:57,220
It's so hot in here.

998
00:41:57,220 --> 00:41:59,300
I spiraled. Oh my God.

999
00:41:59,500 --> 00:42:00,900
That was so.

1000
00:42:01,100 --> 00:42:05,940
I got really angry at myself for saying relax because I am crying.

1001
00:42:06,140 --> 00:42:07,180
I sure did.

1002
00:42:07,380 --> 00:42:09,540
I hate when people tell me to relax.

1003
00:42:09,740 --> 00:42:12,460
Absolutely nothing good happens.

1004
00:42:12,660 --> 00:42:14,980
Do you relax when somebody says relax?

1005
00:42:15,180 --> 00:42:16,860
Hey, relax. Oh, OK.

1006
00:42:16,860 --> 00:42:18,300
Yeah. Well, not when it's a command.

1007
00:42:18,300 --> 00:42:20,340
I really like this character voice you have today.

1008
00:42:20,540 --> 00:42:21,940
The does and the OK.

1009
00:42:22,140 --> 00:42:25,700
You're very you've got like a big character suit on or something.

1010
00:42:25,900 --> 00:42:26,940
Oh my God. It's furry.

1011
00:42:26,940 --> 00:42:28,340
It's furry. Yeah, obviously.

1012
00:42:28,540 --> 00:42:29,860
It's got fangs. Yeah.

1013
00:42:30,060 --> 00:42:34,980
But but seriously, you just I'm going to try and take this back a second.

1014
00:42:35,180 --> 00:42:36,660
Oh,

1015
00:42:36,860 --> 00:42:39,780
they are safe. You have to remember that they are safe.

1016
00:42:39,980 --> 00:42:41,700
Live in that they are safe.

1017
00:42:41,900 --> 00:42:42,780
You cannot.

1018
00:42:42,980 --> 00:42:46,620
Yes, you can try and protect them, but you cannot predict the future.

1019
00:42:46,820 --> 00:42:52,780
So you you prepare and do as much as you can to prepare for the uncertain with them,

1020
00:42:52,980 --> 00:42:55,420
without them and and you know,

1021
00:42:55,420 --> 00:42:57,420
what a lack of a better word it is what it is.

1022
00:42:57,620 --> 00:42:59,900
And, you know, that's what it is.

1023
00:42:59,900 --> 00:43:00,780
Because what are you going to do?

1024
00:43:00,780 --> 00:43:04,780
Keep them from going down the bouncy house slide because they could possibly

1025
00:43:04,980 --> 00:43:06,500
hurt themselves at the end.

1026
00:43:06,700 --> 00:43:12,380
Like, no, you can't let them miss out on having childhood fun because,

1027
00:43:12,580 --> 00:43:16,660
you know, as an adult, there's opportunity to hurt themselves.

1028
00:43:16,860 --> 00:43:17,180
Right.

1029
00:43:17,380 --> 00:43:21,140
Because then they're not living a life and you're just wanting them to live the

1030
00:43:21,340 --> 00:43:22,780
life that you have lived.

1031
00:43:22,980 --> 00:43:25,180
Yeah. And that's not the point of kids or put them in a bubble.

1032
00:43:25,180 --> 00:43:26,740
So.

1033
00:43:27,140 --> 00:43:31,180
We've gone so far and then it's over.

1034
00:43:31,180 --> 00:43:32,220
And then you go backwards.

1035
00:43:32,420 --> 00:43:33,820
It's a work in progress.

1036
00:43:34,020 --> 00:43:36,220
Work harder.

1037
00:43:36,420 --> 00:43:38,180
It's a life journey.

1038
00:43:38,380 --> 00:43:41,220
Life faster.

1039
00:43:41,860 --> 00:43:44,260
It's so hard.

1040
00:43:44,460 --> 00:43:47,900
But I'm trying.

1041
00:43:48,100 --> 00:43:50,500
What is meant for you will not pass you by.

1042
00:43:50,700 --> 00:43:51,860
Let them.

1043
00:43:52,060 --> 00:43:54,660
I actually was thinking that when you did your last monologue,

1044
00:43:54,660 --> 00:43:55,780
I was like, you know what?

1045
00:43:55,980 --> 00:43:58,460
This is an episode about the let them theory.

1046
00:43:58,660 --> 00:44:00,900
You like I hate you.

1047
00:44:01,100 --> 00:44:02,060
Well, you're certain about that.

1048
00:44:02,260 --> 00:44:02,940
So that's good.

1049
00:44:03,140 --> 00:44:05,580
But this is the let them theory.

1050
00:44:05,780 --> 00:44:10,660
If it's if it is something that's presenting itself where you can stress about it,

1051
00:44:10,860 --> 00:44:15,900
try saying let them let them if it's

1052
00:44:16,100 --> 00:44:17,780
the job opportunity you didn't interview.

1053
00:44:17,780 --> 00:44:18,820
What if they don't hire me?

1054
00:44:18,820 --> 00:44:20,180
Let them let them not hire you.

1055
00:44:20,380 --> 00:44:21,100
Yeah.

1056
00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:22,340
Something else will work out.

1057
00:44:22,340 --> 00:44:23,780
Something else will work out.

1058
00:44:23,780 --> 00:44:27,700
You didn't get invited to the small reunion of your high school friends.

1059
00:44:27,700 --> 00:44:28,820
Let them let them hang out.

1060
00:44:29,020 --> 00:44:29,220
Yeah.

1061
00:44:29,220 --> 00:44:30,540
There's a reason you didn't go.

1062
00:44:30,740 --> 00:44:31,900
You're never going to know the reason.

1063
00:44:32,100 --> 00:44:33,700
And there's no reason to force yourself into it.

1064
00:44:33,900 --> 00:44:34,260
Right.

1065
00:44:34,460 --> 00:44:34,820
Right.

1066
00:44:35,020 --> 00:44:37,100
So the let them theory is very true.

1067
00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:39,500
And you should all look that up on your end because I'm not going to talk about that now.

1068
00:44:39,700 --> 00:44:40,660
It's too long.

1069
00:44:40,860 --> 00:44:44,260
But the let them just let them and maybe them just means life.

1070
00:44:44,460 --> 00:44:44,820
Let it.

1071
00:44:45,020 --> 00:44:45,380
Yeah.

1072
00:44:45,580 --> 00:44:46,660
Let it happen.

1073
00:44:46,860 --> 00:44:48,900
Let it happen and go with the flow.

1074
00:44:49,100 --> 00:44:50,020
Ride the wave.

1075
00:44:50,220 --> 00:44:52,100
I mean, all the all the phrases.

1076
00:44:52,100 --> 00:44:54,220
Tomorrow is not promised.

1077
00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:55,260
And that's a big one.

1078
00:44:55,460 --> 00:44:57,780
I got one from my man, Leigh Iacocca.

1079
00:44:57,980 --> 00:44:58,540
What?

1080
00:44:58,740 --> 00:44:59,660
He was very woka.

1081
00:44:59,860 --> 00:45:03,140
He was.

1082
00:45:03,340 --> 00:45:04,620
Do you know who that is?

1083
00:45:04,820 --> 00:45:05,420
No.

1084
00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:06,740
Do you know the name Leigh Iacocca?

1085
00:45:06,940 --> 00:45:08,820
I feel like I went to high school with a dick.

1086
00:45:09,020 --> 00:45:14,580
Oh, if you went to high school with Leigh Iacocca, you are doing great.

1087
00:45:14,780 --> 00:45:17,300
I just want to keep saying the name Leigh Iacocca.

1088
00:45:17,500 --> 00:45:18,460
I knew his name.

1089
00:45:18,660 --> 00:45:21,380
He's an executive that created a lot of the Ford.

1090
00:45:21,380 --> 00:45:23,060
Oh, yeah, deaf, deaf, no.

1091
00:45:23,260 --> 00:45:26,500
And oh, oh, yeah.

1092
00:45:26,700 --> 00:45:29,060
OK, you definitely didn't go to high school with Leigh Iacocca.

1093
00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:31,300
So he said, so what do we do?

1094
00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:36,700
Anything, something so long as we just don't sit there.

1095
00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:40,580
Because if you screw it up, you could start over and try something else.

1096
00:45:40,780 --> 00:45:46,660
And if we wait until we're satisfied with all the uncertainties, it'll be too late.

1097
00:45:46,860 --> 00:45:47,580
Oh boy.

1098
00:45:47,580 --> 00:45:53,980
If you wait on the risk, like because there is risk, right?

1099
00:45:54,180 --> 00:45:54,500
Right.

1100
00:45:54,700 --> 00:45:55,340
You're missing it.

1101
00:45:55,540 --> 00:45:55,780
It's over.

1102
00:45:55,980 --> 00:45:56,140
It's done.

1103
00:45:56,340 --> 00:45:56,780
I miss it.

1104
00:45:56,980 --> 00:46:01,980
And I'm obviously all of the big people that created the best inventions that we

1105
00:46:02,180 --> 00:46:07,900
use now, right, the light bulb, you know, electricity, the phone,

1106
00:46:08,100 --> 00:46:08,980
they took risks.

1107
00:46:09,180 --> 00:46:09,620
Right.

1108
00:46:09,820 --> 00:46:11,380
Nobody knew if it was going to work.

1109
00:46:11,580 --> 00:46:13,180
They just tried.

1110
00:46:13,380 --> 00:46:17,020
So I was while you were saying that I was just thinking,

1111
00:46:17,020 --> 00:46:20,700
you know, we didn't create electricity or the phone.

1112
00:46:20,700 --> 00:46:21,700
I don't know. We're pretty electric.

1113
00:46:21,900 --> 00:46:22,100
Yeah.

1114
00:46:22,300 --> 00:46:24,740
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

1115
00:46:25,260 --> 00:46:29,940
But we, I do think, are very good in

1116
00:46:30,140 --> 00:46:32,380
ignoring the risk and going for it.

1117
00:46:32,380 --> 00:46:35,220
And that's when it comes to business, when it comes to see fit.

1118
00:46:35,420 --> 00:46:38,820
We, every single thing that we do, we go, it doesn't matter.

1119
00:46:38,820 --> 00:46:41,180
Just do it. Just we'll just do it and see what happens.

1120
00:46:41,380 --> 00:46:42,380
And we're still open.

1121
00:46:42,580 --> 00:46:44,460
And we're still open 13 years later.

1122
00:46:44,460 --> 00:46:49,020
So I'm going to pat ourselves on the back for that because as much as we worry

1123
00:46:49,220 --> 00:46:51,700
about the future and what it might and what it might bring,

1124
00:46:51,900 --> 00:46:55,500
we do have this little innate sense in us that goes, just do it.

1125
00:46:55,700 --> 00:46:58,380
Like, you know, just we'll figure it out.

1126
00:46:58,580 --> 00:47:01,140
That's our little Leigh Iocoka in all of us.

1127
00:47:01,340 --> 00:47:02,860
I went to school with Leigha de Coca.

1128
00:47:03,060 --> 00:47:04,860
Oh, my God.

1129
00:47:05,060 --> 00:47:06,220
Nope.

1130
00:47:06,420 --> 00:47:09,140
Anyway, just do it like Nike.

1131
00:47:09,340 --> 00:47:10,420
Like Nike.

1132
00:47:10,420 --> 00:47:14,580
Be like Nike.

1133
00:47:14,780 --> 00:47:18,460
Well, we are all out of quotes.

1134
00:47:18,660 --> 00:47:20,620
We are certain about that.

1135
00:47:20,820 --> 00:47:24,940
And I really think this is a good

1136
00:47:25,140 --> 00:47:28,940
practice for all of us because life is a practice.

1137
00:47:29,140 --> 00:47:32,420
There is no one out there that knows what they're doing.

1138
00:47:32,420 --> 00:47:35,180
Do you remember being little and being like, oh, the 30 year olds,

1139
00:47:35,380 --> 00:47:36,060
they got it made.

1140
00:47:36,260 --> 00:47:37,740
Yeah, they know what's going on.

1141
00:47:37,940 --> 00:47:39,540
It's like the biggest joke of them all.

1142
00:47:39,540 --> 00:47:43,100
It's it is it is a hilarious joke.

1143
00:47:43,300 --> 00:47:45,300
So with that said,

1144
00:47:45,500 --> 00:47:50,020
remember that you're always and truly in every sense of these words,

1145
00:47:50,220 --> 00:47:57,300
you are always fit to be real and always allowed to be a little extra.

1146
00:47:58,220 --> 00:47:59,660
No, I really like how you said that.

1147
00:47:59,860 --> 00:48:01,820
I was feeling it.

1148
00:48:04,340 --> 00:48:07,020
For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for

1149
00:48:07,020 --> 00:48:09,380
entertainment and educational purposes only.

1150
00:48:09,580 --> 00:48:11,340
We are not health care professionals.

1151
00:48:11,540 --> 00:48:14,420
For all of your health, wellness, fitness and self care needs,

1152
00:48:14,620 --> 00:48:18,100
please refer to the medical professional in your life, your primary care

1153
00:48:18,300 --> 00:48:22,180
physician, your therapist, a certified coach, whoever it may be.

1154
00:48:22,380 --> 00:48:26,340
And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to.

1155
00:48:26,540 --> 00:48:27,940
OK.

1156
00:48:27,940 --> 00:48:38,500
OK, bye.