Welcome to Fit to Be Real.
And a little extra, we are playing a burning questions game.
All the things that you never thought you wanted to know
with us and Carmella.
However, we don't even know what the questions are.
That is correct.
We have cards in our hands.
We're gonna ask the other two
and hopefully get the most honest answer.
Yes, mom, you're allowed to talk.
Go ahead, say hello.
This is like truth or dare.
Honest answers.
Wait, but there's no dare.
There's no dare.
I don't like that game anyway.
Oh.
That's good.
I'm Victoria.
Hey guys, I'm Carly.
And I'm Carmella.
You two are the same.
I am, I am Carmella.
You are both awkward.
I'm gonna get the ball rolling.
Okay.
I, first, nobody asked me,
but I'm gonna tell you anyway,
I thought this would be a good idea to do
because we didn't really get to celebrate Mother's Day
because we had to work, we had so many things to do,
so I thought it'd be really fun.
And I think everybody should do this with their mothers,
depending on the questions that are about to come up
because I'm not so sure what we're about to ask.
Is it appropriate?
I really hope so.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
You did not even like look through the box.
No, because then I wouldn't know
and I like, I love surprises.
Just to be clear, this is a box set called Burning Questions
and it is just a set of cards, so.
Got speed.
All right, here we go.
Nice.
Are you okay?
Nice, nice.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
I loved Cusby.
She thinks you're funny.
Ready?
All right, you two.
Name the top three things you would take
during a zombie attack.
So, Mom, you go first.
In other words, I would be running away from them
if they were attacking the town.
Yeah, so let's say you're, yeah.
My, just three.
My, unfortunately, my phone.
Oh.
Your dad, they already came.
You waited way too long.
And you didn't bring a charger, so you're going to dead.
Yeah, a charger and a bottle of water.
I thought you were going to say wine.
Yeah.
Okay, that's it.
And my sneakers.
No, that's four.
So I could run faster.
No.
Why aren't they on your feet?
And my black clothes.
No, stop.
Your black clothes.
Well, I could hide.
And if you wear bright colors, they can see you.
There's zombies, Mom.
Your logic is frightening.
I want to see the difference right now between
your 17 things that you're only allowed to bring three
and Victoria's three things.
Okay, I am bringing pepper, a multi-tool.
Oh.
I want to bring a multi-tool.
No, you're done.
No.
And a joint, because I'm going to need it.
Mom's so happy.
I'm running away with you.
Yeah, but you're bringing too much, so I'm going to ditch you at some point.
All right.
All right, go ahead.
Next question.
Have you ever spent a night in jail?
No.
Boring.
Only one person in our family has done that.
Billy.
Billy for knocking a stop sign down with his hand.
If you had to get back with an ex, who would you choose?
I only have one ex, really.
Patrick.
And he likes boys.
And he likes boys, so I get back with him any day.
I am back with him actually.
You are actually.
It is three's company.
None.
Yeah, I would say none for you.
Not one.
I, not even for the sake of the game, can I entertain that thought?
Yeah, I'm seconding that.
They're horrible.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
No, once you're gone, you're gone.
Bye.
Next question.
Okay.
I like this game.
Oh, yeah.
How would you dispose of a dead body?
I don't like this game.
Mom, go seriously.
Oh gosh.
No, I would dig a hole in the backyard.
Oh, very stupid.
You're going to get caught.
You're going to be the first one in our family in jail.
Second one.
And I would dig a hole and put it in there.
Okay.
After it was wrapped in plastic.
Okay.
I think I would like cinder block it.
Oh God.
In the ocean.
Oh, drop it in the ocean.
Yeah.
Let's talk about that.
Well, then we have to get a boat.
Yeah.
There's a lot of other factors that I don't have prepared, but digging a hole in the
backyard would not be it.
And I can't dismember.
I don't want anybody else to find out about it.
So I would have to dig that hole by myself, but see.
You would have to rent a boat and tell somebody to drive the boat.
Ask me.
Okay.
What would you do?
How would you get rid of him?
I would call Billy.
He'd report you.
He would not.
That is an awesome idea.
Yeah.
I love that.
What's the closest you've ever come to being arrested?
Oh my gosh.
What pile did you give me?
I don't know the closest I've ever come to being arrested.
Oh, I got pulled over one time with one of my friends in high school and she had alcohol
in the car and we were underage and I was not drinking because I didn't drink in high
school, but I know I was boring.
I was like too afraid.
Safe.
I was afraid of losing mom's business.
Oh my God.
But we got pulled over and he saw it in the backseat.
I mean, and I was with them, but luckily she was dating another police officer.
Let's go.
Ew.
I know.
No.
So, but a police officer was dating an underage.
That's what I mean by ew.
Hence the ew.
Yeah.
How about you, mom?
We were in college in the 70s.
That explains it all.
And we were all at a party and somebody banged on the door and said police and I was like,
I said police and we were scrambling.
What were you doing, mom?
It was, what?
We were out the lie.
Figure out the lie.
We know, no, it was grass.
There was a lot of grass there.
No, we're so old.
There was grass and there were brownies.
No brownies in the grass.
No, the grass was in the brownies.
Oh, oh, oh.
And so anyway, somebody banged on the door and said police.
Oh my gosh.
We scrambled.
Here it was one of the guys pretending he was the police.
So you were not close to being arrested?
That's called fear.
We were afraid.
All they had to do was walk in the room.
You were high.
Yes.
And paranoid.
Ask the question, mom.
Amazing.
Okay, my turn.
What's one thing you only do when you're alone?
I mean, it's been so long for you.
Yeah, I never get that.
But I think what do I do?
I sit and I binge watch my bad TV shows when Andrew's on out for
work and the kids are asleep.
I'm technically not alone, but I will sit and binge watch and I
will eat dinner in bed.
Not in the kitchen.
I would never just like I used to when I was in New York because
my living room was my bedroom was my kitchen.
I eat dinner in bed and watch my shows that I want to watch.
And that's a splurge.
I don't know.
I live alone.
I'm alone all the time.
So I would live my life.
I would do exactly what I do every day.
Daily function.
I brush my teeth.
Yeah, normal.
That's funny.
Ask me, ask me.
Okay, mom, what would you do?
You also live alone.
Oh no.
I play actorto.
Sorry.
Actorto.
That is word.
God bless you.
That is word.
Eight times over.
Do you know wordle?
Yes, we know wordle.
Well, you do eight words.
That's what you do.
And I time myself.
So you do it every day.
Yeah.
Pretty much.
The first thing I do.
All right.
Next one.
Who's calls do you avoid?
Mom's gonna ask.
Mom's gonna lie.
No.
Unless she says it's me.
No, I know.
Oh, you're asking me?
Yeah.
Who's calling?
Someone.
Anyone.
Who?
Anyone who calls while I'm teaching.
Yeah.
Anyone who calls.
When I'm doing something else.
She's trying to be so good.
She will not say a name.
And anyone I know who wants a long conversation.
Like, and I can't do a long conversation at that time.
So I'll call them back.
You call them back.
I do.
I text them back.
Yeah.
You don't call them back.
How about you?
Any number I don't have.
Yes.
I don't answer.
No, you can't answer right here.
That's not like a void, I guess.
So much nicer.
But I don't answer any number I don't know.
And you leave a voicemail on then I could decide
if I would like to avoid you or not.
And what about you, Karly?
I don't answer numbers that I don't know.
You don't answer anybody!
Get out of here.
What was the best phase in your life?
I would say...
all of them, I would say they're all good, but my, if I could go back for like, I'm changing
the question, if I could go back for like a week to a phase of my life that I loved, it would be
like living in New York, no responsibilities, and just living in New York. It's a shame because you
had a lot of responsibilities, you just ignored them. A little different, a little different.
No, we went to New York like, I don't know, a month ago, and we were there for two days,
no offense to the kids, but we didn't have any kids, we saw shows. I didn't have any money to
like go do all the stuff that we did recently, but it was so awesome to just have no time constraints
and just run around New York for two days. When we lived in New York, when I lived in New York,
and I was single, all I had the money to do was to go to work and make money so I could pay rent,
take lessons, go to auditions. I never socialized, I didn't go out to dinner, I didn't go see shows.
I did, I did do all that. Oh yes, okay, I've do, Victor, Karlie, you're right. I loved my childhood,
I loved my teenage years. I'm annoyed. I'm okay with my college years, but I made lifelong friends
in college. She doesn't remember because of the grass. I love my New York. I love my New York
days after and then I love my early moms and I love my when the kids were teenagers. We're not going
through 70 years here, Carm. I love my life now. Go ahead. No, move it. Next. What's, what is your
worst habit? I have a very, very bad habit of picking the skin around my fingernails to the point of
blood. Yeah. Oh, I look like Michael Jackson with the band-aids on my fingers. That's exactly.
Yep. But I'm perfect, so I don't know. Yeah. Have you ever stolen anything?
Yes, when I was five, the hardware store at the bottom of the street had colorful containers of nails.
Like hammer nails? Hammer nails and they were little capsules, little tiny,
bigger than a pill capsule, but they were and they were all different colors. So when I went to the
hardware store with my father, I took a handful and put them in my pocket because I thought that was,
I love color, color, anything color. I haven't stolen anything directly, but there was one
purchase. I can't even remember the store, but it said it was delivered and it actually wasn't
delivered. So I reported it to get a refund and I got the refund and then it got delivered. You
didn't steal anything. But I didn't know I did. I got the clothes and the refund. So those clothes
were free because I got my money back, but I didn't go, hey, you actually sent them. I was just like,
I'm tired of this. Oh, I stole everything. What? Mom, you know this. Oh, that's right. In kindergarten,
she was. I stole everything that I possibly could. Why? Because I wanted it. And she swore up and down
that she didn't. Would you consider a polyamorous relationship? No. No. Mom, what does it mean?
It means you have a relationship with more than one person. Very good, mom. Right. Or more than one sex.
Right. Or are you just describing poly?
More than one? Both of our answers are no.
Oh, what was the last food you binged on? Oh, licorice. This morning. This morning.
I haven't. Yeah. Because that means I have to buy food. I haven't bought food in a while. I would
say probably something at Christmas. That's like the last time I can think of like not feeling well.
Question. What's your biggest insecurity? We went from binging food to biggest insecurity real fast.
Body image. That's a good one. Good one. Everybody needs that.
No. Do you know what an insecurity is? It makes me uncomfortable to be in situations I'm uncomfortable
in. So I do awkward jokes. That's ridiculous. That's every situation. Why do you make the
awkward joke? Because I don't like to feel uncomfortable. That's the insecurity. Got it.
I'm feeling uncomfortable. Chandler. Yes, I am the woman version of Chandler.
Yeah, but he's funny. You're awkward. No, she is funny. Mom thinks I'm funny. Could you be anymore wrong?
What's your biggest pet peeve? Oh, my biggest pet peeve. I can tell you what it is and I can tell
you that I deal with it every day. Cool. I hate when I have to say things over and over and over
and over. I.e. when I tell Andrew the same thing 20 times a day and then he asks me the question,
wait, where do I have to be at this time? I'm your kid. That is. Yeah, that is my biggest pet peeve
when I have to retell. I have so many pet peeves, but I can't think of one of them right now.
You know, this is in my second pet peeve. I can't think. I really can't think. I've got so many
because I say that's a pet peeve of mine. That's a pet peeve of mine. Pet peeve is starting to sound
weird. Pet peeve. I think when I think when people are late for class and they don't say
they don't apologize like I'm so sorry I'm late or when they do something that is wrong and they
don't apologize. Yeah, that is a pet peeve. The rude people. Yeah, rude people. I don't like listening
to people chew. Yes, you don't. I don't like extraneous noise. Yes, like don't. Background noise.
But the chewing thing or that mom sucks her teeth. I don't know why, but she does this.
Ew, stop. I can't stand it.
If you were given a choice to choose your manner of death, how would you die?
I would die naturally in my sleep. Boring. That would be mine. Go for it, Victoria. Cinder blocks.
Boat in the ocean. I know a guy. That's amazing. No, see, she is funny. Skydiving, I don't know.
Something like with a thrill. Victoria, you're such a chill person and then you want this dramatic
death. I'm not dying. So if it's like a fantasy, I mean, what do you want me to say, dragons?
Zombie attack. In a Harry Potter Voldemort situation?
Natural in my sleep. If you were invisible for a day, what is the first thing you would do?
Kill you in your sleep and make you think that it's natural.
Oh, I'm me. What was the question? I liked the answer. If you were invisible for a day.
Invisible. I would eat. Everything that I'm not supposed to eat. Mom, you live by yourself.
You're invisible in your house every day. You can eat. Okay. I'm good. You're the worst.
You're invisible in your house. Screw you, family home. Get out of here. I just mean you're by
yourself. You can pretend you're invisible at home. All you singles out there. Did you hear that?
Did you hear that? No, no, I didn't get it. Wait a second. If I were invisible, oh, you know what
I would do? I like what do you call it? Not eavesdropping, but I like to voyeur. So I would go
into people's houses and I would just sit and watch them live. I like that. You like to private. I
don't want to do weird things. I just like to be part of their conversation. I just want to hear
their conversation. I would mess with people. I think you would mess with people. Yeah.
Like if you thought that you put something down over there, I'm going to put it somewhere else.
I'm like, I'm going to ruin your day. Oh, that's clever. Or maybe I'll sign some laws and people
don't know how they got passed. That's a good one. I'm going to prank the world. Yeah, I like that.
I'm definitely going to kill Carly first. Okay. What's something you can't go a day without doing?
I'm going to sound like a broken record and I'm going to sound really horrible and annoying.
I have to decompress at night no matter how late I get in and watch stupid TV like Friends or
Shits Creek or New Girl for at least an hour before I go to bed. I have to. You've never
gone home and just gone to bed. No, I have to not pretend I'm having my time, but I need to
sit there and feel like I had a night of something that I wanted to do. I think that's called...
It's the doomsday. I forget. I know there's doom scrolling, but to do that act, to make it feel
like you've had a day and it's not just wake up, repeat, rinse, it's called like a doomsday
situation because you feel you need to zone out. You need to pretend like you've had time to yourself.
Yes, and it is sort of is pretending because I'm literally watching and zoning. I'm not even doing
anything, but I have to do that every single day even if I get in at midnight. Yeah, I do that.
Go ahead, Mom. I forget the question. Oh my God. Mom, what can you not go a day without doing?
Don't say brush your teeth. It's Instagram. Oh, wordle, octordle, and chordle. Oh my God,
stop just saying words. Are you okay? Yeah. Yeah. And I also say the one thing before I get out of
bed every day, oh my God, help me remember that there's nothing in this day that can happen
that you and I can't handle. God's confused because that didn't make sense. Work on your prayer
a little bit before you say it because I think he's not going to understand. He's not listening
because it's already too confusing. Too many negatives. Oh my God, help me live.
Question. Question. Present with the opportunity. Every time she says it, all I can think of is
question. Tell me what you think about me.
Presented with the opportunity to be immortal. Immortal? Would you take it?
Live forever? Absolutely not. Yes. Okay.
Breed. Garly's afraid of death. That's why. Victoria's afraid of living. No, I just want to do it again.
Why would you want to do the same life forever? No, it would just be the same life. It would be,
you wouldn't die and come back. Right, Victoria. Immortal means you're not going to die.
So why would I want to live this particular life forever? Oh, so you want to die? I would want to
come back as something else, do it differently, try new things, even if you don't have the memory.
No, I love consistency and routine and mundane. When are you going to do it?
Everybody you know and love is going to die. What? Yeah, you're going to outlive everybody.
What? Yes, that's what immortal and they won't be. You'll watch your kids die.
Oh, wait. Yeah. Hold on. That's why I'm going to kill you. Oh, well, then we've got it.
We've got it all planned out. I'm coming back as Voldemort.
He could do anything. He can kill the immortal. All right, fine.
You skipped me, but go ahead. Good. You're going to live forever. You get to do this again.
What's the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?
Okay, that I don't really know what's going on. No, we know that.
That's very much understood. She's as dumb as a fox.
Oh. Oh, because I'm smart. That's right. You're as dumb as a fox. I was like, Mom,
you're not helping my kid. No, no, no, no. She knows. No, no, that's it. Just that I
know exactly what's going on, even if I act like I don't know what's going on.
People misunderstand my niceness for being naive. Yes.
And mine is that I'm actually an introvert. I am. I just, she's looking at us because we don't
believe that. I know she doesn't. She doesn't like to be social. I do love to be social at social
times, but boy, do I love walking in my house and not having anything to talk about.
And even Kashmir knows. Who's Kashmir? Our cat and she knows. All she has to do is cuddle.
She doesn't have to talk to me. Do you hear voices in your head? Yes.
Is that why you feel like you don't live alone? Yes, actually. That's good. What about you?
I do talk to myself a lot and I sing to myself a lot. Makeup songs. You talk to other people a
lot too. And sing to them too. I do. I do talk a lot and I do interrupt.
I think you just interrupted yourself. I did. I did. Okay.
What are, what do people misunderstand about you? My existence.
Moving on. Okay. Out of the positive emotions of compassion, positivity,
enthusiasm and initiative, which one is your biggest strength? Can you say that again?
Compassion, positivity, enthusiasm and initiative, which one is your biggest strength?
Okay. I know which one mine is. Oh, what is it?
Enthusiastic. Yes, I would agree with you. And it's genuine enthusiasm. I thought of
this the other day while she's thinking that I've been perky my whole life.
Oh my God, mom. No one's questioning that. Why was that so dramatic?
She was doing the mom a lot. Because I remember being perky as a four and five-year-old and driving
my parents crazy. I think that's called ADD. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
I'm going to check off positivity. It's not that. And not enthusiasm.
I guess compassion. Oh my God. Compassion and initiative, those are your huge things.
Yeah. When you want to do something, you do it. You pick one. I know. Do you guys know how to do
these? You pick one. Compassion. Yeah, compassion. You care about that. I'm passionate right now.
Oh my gosh, this is like the exact same question. Okay. Out of the negative emotions,
of greed, anger, jealousy and hate, which one would you say affects you the most?
Oh. Well, I don't hate anything or anybody. No, what affects you? What affects you the most,
not what do you possess? Oh. What affects you the most? Greed, anger, jealousy or hate? Greed.
That affects you? I, yes, greed. Greed makes me, it's a pet peeve of mine.
We passed that question. I would say I think jealousy affects me the most.
Jealousy of what? Both ways. Being jealous and jealous. People being jealous of you? Both.
Wow, you're all humble. Yeah, but aren't you?
Victoria texted me the other day and she was like, I said, I did something really good and
she's like, what? So you think you're pretty? I was like, yeah, I do. But you're not jealous?
Oh, yeah, I am. Of other people? I can be. I'm not. Okay, good for you.
Carly's jealous of how some people don't have to work as hard. Yes. It's that type of thing.
It's not a superficial beauty thing. No. I think it's more of Carly's tired.
I feel like I work 20 times harder than everybody else, but other people can just get it so much
faster. And I'm like, how do I do that? But not because I like look at somebody and say,
oh, I want to be like her. I want that life or I want whatever. No, yeah, she's tired.
I also need a, I need Victoria to follow me around and explain what I'm talking about.
She can do it in like three words. I know. Question.
If you could be given the date of your death, why are I getting all the death questions?
Would you want to know it? I'm mixed about this.
Yes, because why not? And you could live it up and know when, how long you have. And no, because
you could die tomorrow. So you might as well do that either way. I agree. But I, if my death date
was tomorrow, I think I'd panic all day today. Instead of just like having the best time of
your life and doing the things that like saying goodbye properly, put it in perspective of like
you don't get to say goodbye if you don't know. That's true. But sometimes isn't that better?
For who? For you. I'm always thinking of myself. Yeah. That's better for the person dying is not
better for the people around them. Oh, I don't know about that. I, I'm both.
Yeah, that's a safe way. I'm not going to answer that question. Oh, you're not? No,
because I don't know the answer. It's okay. It's hypothetical. Everything's okay. She's like,
if I say yes, then it will happen. I'm going to find out. Yeah, it's scary. All right. Who's next?
Oh, yes, she's not answering. Okay. Would you change your name and what to? No.
No. I used to hate my name, but now I love it. I don't know. Maybe like Princess Samantha Mumba.
No, Samantha Mumba is a person. Not Princess Samantha Mumba. Princess Samantha Mumba.
Jackson Greengrass. Jackson Greengrass. I don't know.
What reality show would you love to be on?
One. One. The answer is one show. But you know what? I wouldn't want to be on the Housewives
because I wouldn't want people to know about me. Like what I do. They know. You tell me. Oh, they know.
No, they don't know. Only because of the podcast. I don't know. I would be afraid to have cameras
all the time around me to see literally how often I sit and watch Housewives. Oh, I think it's not
as true as you think. Like if you had a camera on you 24 seven, you would be on. My best behavior.
And then when the camera was off, you would be you. Right. Like you would be your real self. And I
think that's what happens to them. Also, this is the hypothetical pick the freaking answer and say one.
I would be Housewives of Delco. And I would be on the Bachelor at no, the Bachelor. And I would
like to be one of the women that, you know, there's the guy and then the woman. I don't even watch it.
But with the intent of not wanting to win, I don't want to win. I just want to get to the final 10
and just watch. Just sitting be an invisible warrior and just watch. But then that's not how it works.
And have you seen the show? If you're in the final 10, you're in the game. Yeah, I don't want to win,
but I would like to be that would be the only one. I don't big brother, maybe. Yeah, because that's
about watching other people in a house. Yeah. Yeah. But if you're on Big Brother, you're not
watching, you're playing the game. Oh, no, no. Can I change my answer? Obviously, the great race.
See, I haven't said it right yet. The great race. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is.
You have a team member and you do something around the world.
She's looking out the window. She's looking out the window in the world.
And you have to get there first. And then it's all these obstacles that you have to.
Is it called the great race? Yeah, the amazing race. The amazing. You want to do that? No,
you can be on the great race. Yeah, I would like to do it and show people that old people can win.
I feel like you should do naked and afraid.
See, you're funny too. Yes, I know. Wait, what would you be on?
The boat one. Oh, Below Deck. Oh, yes. Below Deck. Only because I thought one doesn't make me want to
die. Yeah. Or Love is Blind because I think it's really funny. But I don't want to be on it. I'm
going to watch Love is Blind. But I would be on it just to mess with people within the.
Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. I think you would be good on Below Deck. I feel like that's the closest
reality show to being in a show and living together in a cast house. What I think would be a great
reality show is if cameras went into a summer stock theater or an actors theater and did the
lives of the actors. I agree. Just like Below Deck. The real people thrown into one house.
Yeah. That didn't know each other the day before. I think. I agree. I agree.
What is something that you hate that everyone else loves? Oh, Carly.
That's not. Mom, she's kidding. She's funny. It was annoying.
One thing that you hate that everyone else loves besides Bravo. I know my answer right off the bat.
Oh, sushi. Oh, you do hate sushi. And everyone else loves it. Yeah. She, what did you say to me
once you were like, sushi is the number one thing that you can retell the conversation that will
happen when someone orders sushi? And I was like, what? You were like, yeah, you're going to get it.
You're going to open it. You're going to take a bite and be like, oh, I really like this one.
You got to try this one. Oh, no, you're not going to try that one. Oh, this one's really crunchy.
Do you taste that? And you just like have this exact conversation. And I remember ordering sushi
and being like, oh, you got it. And I started laughing because I was like, you're right. You
have to talk about it. You narrow rate your meal. You do narrow rate about 40 minutes to order because
you don't know what role what sushi means because I always forget is sushi. Is it sashimi? Is it
the role like I always and make you make you. And I've been ordering sushi for 20 years and I
still don't know what comes on top of the rice. Yeah. That's not sushi. Oh, no. Is this sushi?
No, sashimi comes on top. No, sashimi is just strips of raw meat. No rice.
Dude, this is a 40 minute combo before I order. She doesn't care.
Besides, and I don't hate Bravo, so that's not that's not true. I tuned into Scandal.
I hate that everybody else likes Starbucks. Oh, yes. She does not like Starbucks.
I'm not going to tell you to boycott it. I just know. No, thank you. No, but there goes,
you know, your chance of Starbucks promoting you. Our sponsorship. Well, sponsorship.
Yeah. Now we're knocking them out the door, you know. So many are approaching and we're just like,
you know, we don't have time. What do you spend too much money on? Clothes.
I have a dream closet of clothes and look what I'm wearing. Yeah. Yeah.
See fits sweatshirt with a target sticker on it. Because I wore it yesterday.
Did they give you a sticker at Target? Dean gave it to me. Yes. And sweatpants.
I swear there's that meme that says I work out seven days a week and eat clean to look like this.
To wear this. Yeah. A baggy sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants and that's all I wear,
but I spend so much money on clothes. Yep. Well, they say be careful of what you wear
because that's going to be your ghost outfit if you die that day. I'd be very happy in this
tie dye sweatshirt with a smiley face on it. Yes. That would haunt me for sure. And I hope
see fit haunts everybody. What do I spend? Chachka's. I spend a lot of money on Chachka's.
She is a, she sponsors the dollar store. Yeah, I do. I do. Any little trinket that can be put
on a shelf and collect us and she'll just give you them too. No, I don't keep them for myself
anymore. Don't say you like it because it'll be on your front door tomorrow. Did you get your backpack?
Yeah. Yes. Thank you. Yes. I said I liked Victoria's and the next day she went to six CVSs to get me it.
Groceries.
You do. I mean, we all do. Spend too much money on groceries. Yeah.
Not me. Just Twizzlers. Just Twizzlers. I don't even want to tell you.
What is the weirdest thing about you? We don't have time for this.
What is the weirdest thing about you?
Look at them. They're looking at each other. I'm literally looking you up and down.
Why are you guessing me? Because I can't think of myself. The weirdest thing about Carly
is that you're a nerd low key, but not because you're smart and read books,
not because you like fantasy renaissance fairs, not because you're a gamer
in the way that mainstream will say that, you know, nerds are nerds.
You're definitely a Patty Simcox, which rest in peace that actress just passed away.
Oh, yeah. That's me. You're a Patty Simcox nerd of like,
thinks I'm cool. Think you're cool. But I'm not. But you're not. But you're not also necessarily
nerdy in a specific genre of like I'm obsessed with Zelda or anything like that. You just like
are the cheerleader for enthusiasm. Your mom.
Mom. You're low key a nerd now for real. I am. That is my weirdest thing. I love to be trendy.
And at the same time, no, that I'm not because you dress the part. But I don't know if you
are actually. No, I take that back because you dress the part and you are trendy like you are
because you could be on Real Housewives. You wear the gold hoops, you wear the gold chain,
you have the cutest clothes, you know the styles. Then I open my mouth. But then you speak.
But then you speak. I should just keep it shut and let the vision be it because then I open my
mouth. Don't be all uncool. Be cool. Be all uncool. Okay. Go in. I'm a housewife. Okay.
Okay. Like that. Like right there. Like that. People will get that. And what's the weirdest
thing about you? No, that's what we don't have time for. Victoria is the epitome of weird.
I think it's your mom.
The weirdest thing about both of you is that you were raised to be weird. Both of you. Yes,
but Victoria embraced that. Victoria embraced it 100%. I have been trying to fight that my whole
life. But I've had the problem is that I didn't feel accepted for it. That's why I'm in therapy.
We're accepting you now for your weirdness, but you are weird. And what does mom say? You are weird
as cat shit. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but why? You like what makes me like.
Everything that everybody else doesn't. So not weird in a bad way, but you, if it's trendy,
most likely you do not like it. You like off the beaten path. It's not a bad thing, but you like.
I know. Yes, I've always known. You like the off the beaten path stuff. Anything that's off of the path.
That's been me.
You know, she opened her mouth. Damn it.
Mom's having a heart attack. That's all the cars. Your death day is right now.
No, she just lives in a bubble of weird and we accept her and she didn't feel accepted growing
up. A lot of it that I had to deal with that and I stand by it. I mean, I'm not taking it back. I
stand by it, but I, but I, that's your, your weirdest thing about you is that you are weird.
I supported that. I raised that. I was, congrats, did not. I did not want you to conform.
All I wanted to do was conform. I just wanted to conform. I didn't get designer clothes. I didn't
get Nike. I didn't get any of that stuff because I wanted you to be your own person.
Carly wanted to wear the champion sweatshirts. No, no, we had champion. I wanted Nike. You
wanted Nike. Right. I was wearing a horse shirt with rhinestone jeans and cow pants.
And like thinking that that was cool and me being still mortified, but I have grown out of that and
I let you be who the weird person that you are and I embrace it and I am also weird.
And guess which one goes to the Renaissance fair? Guess which one? I like being weird. Yeah, you
married it. I love. He allows you to feel comfortable in the weird. He forces her.
He forces her. The weird is inside of her and he allows her to touch her weird.
Stop, stop, stop. Thank God this is the last one.
What a way to end. What a way to end.
But it's true. Okay. We're both weird.
Very weird.
But it works.
You're both. Thank you for raising us weird.
You're welcome. Is that what you wanted?
Oh my God, this is about you. It's true. What makes you weird, mom?
I wanted my mother wanted three little girls to march in a straight line and
Jeannie followed Vicki, but I bucked the system and I went my own way and I became weird.
And they, while Vicki was weird because she was a book nerd, Jeannie was way cool.
And so to be opposite of Jeannie, I found my own weird.
Right. I'm going to use the quote fingers. I'm going to use the quote fingers.
We found her weird because your weird was that you were just a gypsy and who loved musical
theater and dancing. Well, Vicki, that's not weird. No, Vicki loved musical theater. I got that love
from Vicki and my parents. Right. But what I'm saying is you, you not following the path and
veering off the beaten path that you taught Victoria was not weird. It was just you were into
theater. Her cow pants. I dress like little Joe Cartwright. My mother got me an outfit,
not like the girls on Bonanza. I dress like little Joe Cartwright, a cowboy. And that's what I wore
proud as punch. And that was weird in the 60s when everybody was into the Beatles. Number one.
And into like, if you love little Joe Cartwright, then you dress like a girl. Not, I mean, I didn't
want to be little Joe Cartwright. And then I came home from the monkeys concert and my mother made me
a monkey's outfit. And I dressed like Davy Jones and Mickey Dahlins. Yeah, and I wore it proudly.
Plus the fact that when you had curly hair back there, then there was no hair product.
It was this, it was frizz. You should see her now. You had to.
No, you horrible right now. You had to accept you had to find yourself like the boys called
you weird. The girls called you weird. So you were like, okay. So you're like, let me have two
daughters and raise them weird. So they know what it feels like. No, then you accept yourself and
then you become, I got inner strength from being made fun of all the time because I had curly hair.
Well, just took a turn.
These are awkward. She's uncomfortable. I was like, we're just having fun here. Mom's about to cry.
We've, she was really upset when you call me weird. She was really upset. And especially when
he said, I didn't feel accepted as a child. She got rubs. Like, oh great. She can talk to me later
about this. I'm going to get a text message later about my childhood. Give it up four hours.
And then she's going to yell at me and say, why were you so mean to her when she was little?
Okay. She yells at me every single week because she says, I make you sound dumb.
No, I make myself sound dumb. You're as dumb as a fox.
So, so you strayed from a beaten path that your mother want to be on a straight path.
You went right, left, right, left. And then you had us and you were like,
Hey, this beaten path is right, left, right, left. And I was trying to do right, left, left,
left, right, left, left, left, left. And you were like, Nope, you need to be right, left,
right, left. So it was the same thing. It was just a little bit skewed.
I just wanted to go straight. I just wanted to go straight. I live in a busy town and I just
wanted to go straight and nobody would point their finger. This was Carly's idea because she's
smart as a fox.
You're being weird.
All right. And it was fun. So we, you know, we highly recommend it.
We highly recommend you go to Kohl's and you buy this with your mother's Kohl's card.
And then when she receives the bill, say, but mom, didn't we have fun?
Well, we hope this Monday episode or whenever you're listening to it, we hope this was just
entertaining and maybe made you think a little bit about some of the questions.
Would you like to know when you're going to die?
How would you dispose of a dead body?
We'd love to know.
And what would you bring to run away from zombies?
Well, what would you not bring is really how your question went.
And we want to thank Carm for being available because, you know, if you remember,
she's saying girl and she's invisible because she lives by herself.
So the fact that she's available is pretty easy.
I don't know. She's going to be on The Bachelorette soon.
So yeah, I don't think that's the game she was describing.
I think it was The Amazing Bachelorette.
Yes, The Amazing Bachelorette.
So just remember, you're fit to be weird and you're fit to be real and always allowed to be a little extra.
Go ahead, mom. You want to say one more thing?
Weird.
Maybe say goodbye.
Oh, yes, this was wonderful.
For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment
and educational purposes only.
We are not healthcare professionals.
For all of your health, wellness, fitness, and self-care needs,
please refer to the medical professional in your life,
your primary care physician, your therapist, a certified coach, whoever it may be.
And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to do.
Okay, bye.