Welcome to Fit to Be Real and a little extra.
If you listened to last week's episode,
bless you, yes, bless you number one.
And number two, don't expect that.
Oh no, today is nothing like that.
I've never been in such shock
of what was going on in life.
Well, we got so many text messages like,
oh my gosh, can we come to your family parties?
That episode was so funny.
The dynamic is hysterical.
And I was like, it was a blur.
It was a blur.
Also a regular day.
Also every day of our lives.
Yes.
And I was like, I don't know what we learned.
Oh, we didn't learn anything.
Okay, all right, just making sure it wasn't just me.
We learned that neither of them can sing a hustler baby.
That's about it.
I'm a hustler baby.
That was such a high.
That episode was such a high.
People were listening to it twice.
I honestly think someone told me they started it again
when they got back in the car for the third time.
I mean, I listened to it twice
and I was there for the in person.
And I still listen to it twice.
Cause I was like, did this really happen?
Did they really say these things?
But I also had the visual in my head of mom sitting
on her hands trying not to talk
and us just like completely losing it.
So I was thinking of that in my head
while I was listening to it.
So if you think of it like this,
last week's episode was taking that hit of the piece plate.
No, what's the sugar?
What was the sugar stick that we used to like?
Oh.
There's literally just sugar in it.
And then you dip, fun dip.
Fun dip.
Oh, we could be fun dip.
No, a pixie stick or a pixie stick.
Oh, pixie stick.
Cause I want to thank you.
Either way, a bag of sugar and now we're crashing.
Yes, we have crashed.
This episode is the crash.
So.
We'll bring it back up next week.
But right now, yes, we're in a lull
because you can't top that.
You can't top that.
You can't even follow that.
We're gonna do the best we can.
We should have taken a week off to have people forget
and then be like, hey, it's us again.
Wait, before we start,
I have to talk about two things really quickly.
Number one, if you listened to last week's podcast,
Victoria and I bought each other coffee this morning.
So if you know, you know.
You know.
And I also doubled down and bought you also a bag of coffee.
You did.
Yeah.
So I'm better.
However, second, as we were driving over,
as I was driving over here,
there's something that I need to get out
and see if anybody else agrees with me.
Or Victoria is very scared.
I am scared.
Is it intensive purposes or intense and purposes?
This is serious.
Is it in?
Intent, intense.
So for all intensive purposes.
Not intensive, not like serious, intense.
Right, intensive purposes.
My purposes are very intense.
No.
Intent, like intention, intent for all intent and purpose.
So is it intent and purposes or intense and purposes?
For all intents, all intents, all of them.
I think it's plural.
All intents and purposes.
Everybody say it.
One, two, three.
Intensive purposes.
No, it's not intensive.
It's not like a specialist major.
Intensive.
It's not a program.
I was saying this to myself in the car.
I was listening to a podcast.
And they said it.
And they said intents and purposes.
And I was like, are they saying intensive purposes?
And then I kept saying it because I couldn't figure out
how to say it.
For all intents and purposes.
For all intents.
All intents and purposes.
For all really, really intensive purposes.
What's the word you guys, you and mom can't say right?
Yeah, yeah, let's bring that up.
No, what is it?
I'm thinking.
And dad was like, you're saying it wrong.
Aficionando.
All right, we'll put it on the list.
It's right under aficionando is intensive purposes.
You're an aficionando of intensive purposes.
I had to get that out because I would be thinking about it
this whole time.
Well, it's lost all meaning now.
Right.
It's like saying the word yellow, yellow, yellow over
and over again, like your nails.
Her nails are painted yellow and it's my absolute hate
trade on nails.
Every color is your absolute hate trade on nails.
That's not fair.
You can't discriminate to yellow.
Well, don't get all over my intensive purposes.
It's just.
I'm an aficionando in a color.
Let's start.
OK.
I'm Victoria.
Hey, guys, I'm Carly.
And we're not OK.
We're not well.
But we're here just like you, which is the purpose of this
podcast.
We hope you're still here.
I mean, for all intents and purposes,
we hope you're still here.
What are we talking about today, Victoria?
Listen, if you're on the East Coast and you're around where
we are, it feels like winter.
It's horrible.
But the spring equinox just happened on March 19th.
I was wondering how you were going to circle back and figure
out what we were talking about today.
The spring, the first day of spring,
it's where the sun hits the celestial equator at the exact
moment where night and day, it's the equal amount of time
and spring and days get longer.
So like we should be getting happier.
Right.
We were last week.
But it's 30 degrees.
I put my heat on for you.
It's been 48 in here.
Well, thank you because it is so cold outside.
Last week, it was spring.
It was a little summery.
It was in the 60s.
It was warm.
Like high 60s, 71 was the top, which is out of season for March.
Yeah.
It's unseasonal.
It's like windows open, windows shut, windows open,
windows shut.
It's like, what are we doing here?
Yeah.
And it's just cold.
I turned my heat.
I mean, March hit.
And I was like, it's March.
I'm not keeping my heat on.
I'm not doing it.
You're so mom.
Well, number one, Pico.
Listen, Pico, for all intents and purposes, you stink.
It's so expensive.
Wait, we're going to play a drinking game.
Drink every time one of us says intensive purposes.
I hope you all put Baileys in your morning commute copy.
But Pico is expensive.
And it's, you know, if you can put on an extra sputter,
we lounge like that anyway.
Yeah.
But 48 degrees.
I know.
I'm shivering.
And so I did.
I put the heat on when I left for yoga this morning
because I wouldn't want you to freeze out.
Complain.
Well, it was cold.
It's cold in here.
48 is really cold.
As I've gotten older and the winter months,
it is harder and harder for me to drink water.
I know.
If it's cold, especially in the winter, I drink lukewarm.
I like when you say water, like people are coming at you.
But like you decide and choose to do that.
No one I think is ever coming at you for how you say water.
My kids, because Andrew says water and my kids say water.
And they're like, mom, it's water.
I'm like, no, you're you were born here in Delco.
We say water.
She's like, and Melody said, mom, when I'm with you,
I'll say water.
But I'm with dad's family.
I say water.
I said, no, you say water all the time.
Oh my gosh.
But see, you don't say water.
You say water.
She adds an R after the two O's.
His second.
Have we told them what we're talking about today?
Oh, spring.
We are talking about spring, which is why we were talking
about how cold it is.
So it is still spring.
The season is technically changing.
The technically.
Technically.
The trees are blooming.
I mean, I have a dog would write out my window
and they close every night and they open every morning.
And it's gorgeous.
It actually, I'm not a you know, I hate flowers.
And I pulled up this morning.
I was like, wow, that's really pretty when it's in bloom.
It's really pretty.
And it did it in the nice days.
Right.
So now I'm afraid all the flowers are going to die.
Because it's so cold.
But I guess this happens any year.
But in any case, it is springtime,
where it's at least budding into springtime.
So what is what we think about?
We think about spring cleaning.
I think about it a lot.
Do you?
Do I do it?
I think about it.
I think about wanting to start.
And I feel like it's just like working out.
You want to, you want to, you want to, but you're too tired.
And then you make all the excuses of why you don't have time today.
And then it like racks up.
Yeah, just like working out.
Or stacks up.
It stacks.
It doesn't rack.
No, for all intensive purposes, you use that right.
It stacks up and then it gets dirtier or it just gets unorganized.
So spring cleaning doesn't have to mean actual scrubbing like Cinderella.
It could just mean organization.
And Feng Shui, Feng Shui, Feng Shui.
I'm not even going to go there because.
Because you don't know.
I don't know.
We're rearranging your house.
There you go.
Is a big part of spring cleaning.
But I looked up like, when did that start?
Why don't we have a winter cleaning?
Yeah, we have fall cleaning, especially because winters.
When you shut everything down and you're enclosed.
Right.
But like spring is like the only time we really talk about like.
Cleaning, purging your outfits or you know, your closet.
I just did that.
Did you did just do that?
Don't act surprised.
It gave you a bag of clothes.
I know I rejected every single one.
We do not have the same stuff.
No, I loved them all, but we do not have the same size.
But I did enjoy all of them.
I really liked your plaid green pants.
Okay, so spring cleaning is dates back to quite literally the olden days of when it
was wood fire pizza.
Yes.
Wood and fireplaces to heat up the house in the winter time.
So once it starts getting cold, but that creates a layer of soot and a layer of like
dust and grime so you have to as you open the windows and you get into spring.
That's how spring cleaning started.
I don't think I would have survived back then.
Like I'm just picturing the soot on like women's faces and the.
Yeah.
I'm no stranger to hard work.
I'm not saying that I couldn't do it.
I'm just saying like to clean.
I do like to clean, but I wouldn't survive at the olden days.
Yeah.
I depends on how old and we're going.
Renaissance.
No, don't give me a boil.
I can't handle a boil or a stew.
I'm not a stew person like with meat and potatoes over rabbits.
No, there's no vegetarians in the in the Renaissance.
Okay, so I don't think you would have lasted very long.
Okay, it's a pescatarian and a Presbyterian or whatever.
So so yeah, that's where spring cleaning derived from, which I just thought was a fun
little tidbit because it is definitely shifted. We have electricity.
We have, you know, gas.
We have different types of living, but we still call it spring cleaning and we still
kind of do that tradition.
So I think that's interesting.
So we're just going to go through some tips, easy tips to get into your spring cleaning
mode, like turn on spring cleaning mode.
These are all real tips and real extra ones.
So we're giving you so many today.
Add them up. That's true.
Okay, actually, real quick, a lot of them I didn't know.
You think you know everything about spring cleaning, but I was like, oh, you can do
that. And the general consensus with everything I read was like vinegar is God.
White vinegar, white vinegar when it comes to cleaning lemon and lemon and vodka.
Vodka altogether, like are you drinking?
Yeah, did you just make a drink?
So you put the vodka in some orange juice and then you take the white vinegar and you
start cleaning and that's the only way to get through.
And cover up the smell with a lemon.
Oh, that's what I meant. Lemon and vodka.
That sounds horrible.
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it either. Some people can, I feel like.
Isn't that like on the straight up or straight up now, tell me.
Do you love me forever?
Oh, oh, oh.
As soon as I said it, I paused because I knew I knew what was happening.
I was like, OK, those are like the cleaning supplies that you should just have in your house.
Natural. No, like, you know, chemical ones, eco-friendly ones.
Yeah. All right, go ahead.
You go first. Thank you.
Freshen up your white sneakers or your light colored sneakers, which I wouldn't have thought
for spring cleaning because that's not cleaning your house.
And that's really what I think about.
However, we also purge our clothes and do all that stuff.
So if you want to freshen up your shoes, which I do regularly, I know you do it.
I need to do it instead of buying another pair of shoes.
I need to clean my ones that are fine, just dirty.
Yeah. Cleaning them up, though, it just makes you feel refreshed.
It makes you feel revived.
And it's it's just a really good way to keep something really small and simple.
Feel like you've got something brand new.
All right. Clean your stainless steel appliances in your kitchen, your microwave,
your oven, your fridge.
This is getting a little bit of olive oil, putting it on a rag
and wiping down your stainless oil, olive oil, olive oil, like a very small
on like a cleaning cloth.
I can see myself doing way too much.
Wait, you can't grip the microwave and it slips and hits in the face.
No, it buffs your stainless steel olive oil.
And if you are like me and have a.
Stainless steel fridge, you know that the front, there's no mag like you.
Oh, right. Can't put any magnets.
You can't hide. Right.
So what we do is for the kids, aren't we tape it to our fridge?
Well, what happens?
The tape gets stuck to the front of the fridge.
And then when you take the art off,
you're left with little pieces of tape all over the front of your fridge.
Yeah. And it takes it right off. Olive oil.
That's a good. I didn't know that.
I know. And it's always smudgy.
And like if you try to use a lice all the way, but just streaks.
Yeah. Yeah.
So a little bit of olive oil on a on a little buffing cloth.
Take a spoonful, put it on the microwave.
Take a spoonful, put it in your mouth.
All right. Here's another one that's not technically cleaning,
but organize your refrigerator, organize the food in your refrigerator.
If you go to Carly's house,
first of all, field trip to Carly's house to just look at
the museum that is Carly's refrigerator.
It's where things go to die.
It's literally.
But I there was something last week that I needed to store in there,
I think for the parade. And I was like, Andrew, can I put this in there?
And he was like, you can find a spot.
Yeah. I mean, we have another fridge downstairs.
That was supposed to be for drinks.
It was, but it's full of like all not drink overflow.
Yeah. Overflow.
But a really good way to organize is to organize a refrigerator.
It's something you go into every single day, however many times a day.
And so.
Cleaning it out, how many of those open salsa jars are probably in the back
that should probably be thrown out? Oh, yeah.
That type of thing, yogurt.
Ew, I know. But that's they're alive.
I know. Cool lip.
It like you open them up.
It's got the green moss on the top.
Hello, friends.
They're just dead in the back, but I don't get to them.
Yeah, because there's so much going on.
So the organization is is a really good idea.
And it's pretty simple.
All you're doing is taking things out and putting them back in where you can see everything.
I know there's like a fad right now of taking things out of containers
and putting them in clear plastic containers like within the refrigerator
to make it look nice or because it actually helps.
I think it's aesthetic, like aesthetically pleasing.
But I also think it's because you can see.
You can see everything from front to back or has translucent.
But I also saw.
Can you see translucent again? I can't.
Translucent.
I had intense imperposes.
Drink.
I saw someone like this is a brilliant hack.
The other day had nothing to do with today's episode, but it works for this one.
What do you do when you normally like say you're stocking refrigerator
for the first time ever, you put condiments and like maybe drinks
if you have cans on the side, like the door and butter or whatever at the top.
And then all of your drawers, which are what they're technically made for.
One has like a temperature controlled for vegetables and another drawer or whatever.
They put all of their vegetables in smaller bags and put them where
you put your condiments on the side of the door and put all the cans
and the condiments in the drawers because where they end up throwing food out
is those drawers where they forget that they had the broccoli at the bottom of the drawer.
So if you keep them all on the side where you're going to open and be able to see everything,
then you don't waste as much food.
Oh my gosh.
Because the condiments you always know, they can't go bad really anyway,
depending on if it's like that's such a good idea.
I thought that was a great idea too.
So it also depends on the size of your refrigerator and.
Well, what happens is I tend to over buy because I forgot that there's a box
of strawberries in the back of the fridge that are moldy and green.
So I bought a new one, but I forgot that those strawberries were back there.
They're still there.
I didn't need them.
Taking up room.
Yeah.
And and I forgot.
So we didn't eat them.
Yeah.
So yeah, that's a good one.
I'm going to try it.
I'll report back.
Report back.
This next one is one I'm just going to let you know right now.
I'm never going to do it.
But you guys should.
Okay.
I have a very nice soaking tub in my bathroom.
So I'm not doing this.
If you want to clean your oven racks, what you do, your oven racks,
you pull them out.
Oh yeah.
You know, like we, I make monkey bread all the time.
What happens to the cinnamon and the brown sugar?
It falls and it's all over the oven.
Like it bubbles over top.
Carly's is our stove.
The whole house smokes up and it's just like preheating.
There's a thing in it.
We don't clean our oven or use it that often.
But when you do, it's monkey bread.
And when I do, it's a total mess.
Yeah.
So I, what they say to do is pull out the baking racks, put them in your bathtub
and soak them for two to three hours with lemon and white vinegar and water
and put a straw on the tub.
Yeah.
And then you sit with your vodka on the bench next to the tub.
You watch it come off.
But the suggestion is also to put towels down on to save your tub,
like put bath towels that you don't like anymore underneath so that yes,
when all the grime comes off, it's just a little bit easier to clean.
It's not directly on your tub.
It's like a stain, but it'll be more work for you.
Yeah.
But instead of like getting on your hands and knees and scrubbing those things
and you can't put them in the sink, the racks are way too big to clean over the sink.
You just let them soak in your tub and it goes away.
I have a hard time letting myself soak in my tub.
Same.
But I think I would do that.
Yeah.
I'm not going to.
But you said it.
Andrew might.
He might.
All right.
This one seems simple, but I don't think about it.
Clean your doormat or your back doormat.
I'm a big supporter of take your shoes off when you get into the house.
Like Japan style.
I'm sure.
Because listen to what think about.
Think about what goes on to your shoes.
Yes.
Think about what goes on to your shoes on the street at the store.
I don't want to think about it.
Right.
So but but you're tracking that around your house on your carpets where your toddler
or your babies are crawling with their hands on the floor.
Or your dog.
That's why I put boots on my dog in like gross weather.
Because number one, I don't deal with wet dog, but they're like claws in the mud and
grossness in any case.
The first thing you do is you get to a doormat and you wipe your shoes before you get into
the house.
If it's like a gross, you know, wet day out.
You've clearly never seen the sex in the city episode where they make Carrie Bradshaw
take her shoes off at the party and then somebody takes her Malone Blonix.
Okay.
I hate that you remember that.
Number one.
Number two, I have seen that episode and I didn't feel bad for her at all.
Well, she shouldn't have been asked to take off her very expensive shoes.
It's in New York City.
People defecate on the sidewalk in New York City.
So you want people to wear ugly, ugly, ugly shoes so that they can take them off people's
houses.
Well, get better friends that won't steal people's shoes at a house party.
Number one.
What are you saying?
And number two.
I side with Carrie Bradshaw.
I side with not getting the flu.
So just clean your doormats.
You don't have to replace them.
Just clean them.
I actually would like to replace mine, but here's another one that I actually will do
because after reading about this, it loses me out and I know it's going to grow as Victoria
out.
Sweet.
So take your pillow sheet, your pillowcases.
They're not pillow sheets.
I love a pillow sheet.
Love it.
So take your pillowcases off your pillow and put the pillow in the washer, not just the
pillowcase.
I don't wash my pillows.
Do you?
I haven't.
So half of your pillow, the weight of your pillow, 50% of the weight of your pillow are
dust mites.
Stop.
Yeah.
With teeth.
50% of your pillow's weight.
My pillows are so heavy.
Yeah, I know.
So you need to wash them or honestly get rid of them after a year.
I mean, I've had my pillows for years, but they're so expensive.
Like good pillows.
Well, then put them in the wash.
Then put your pillows in the wash.
But when I read and multiple, multiple sources said 50% of your pillows are weighted with
dust mites.
You're sleeping on that.
If that doesn't gross you out and make you want to throw your pillows in the wash right
now, I don't know what, what will.
Cause I'm doing it today.
Well, no wonder we're always like, why do we have adult acne?
Cause we're cleaning our pillow sheets.
I know, but not the actual pillow.
But not the actual pillow.
So we either get new ones once a year or put them in the wash.
I got to look into mine cause mine are bamboo and they're king size.
So I would have to dry clean mine or like go to a big laundromat with a bit.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you could put them in mine.
Cause mine are like, honestly, they're like 10 pounds each.
Well, you can just sleep on dust mites skin.
It's fine.
Oh my gosh.
Whatever you want to do.
Never sleeping again.
Whatever you want to do is fine.
Wash your reusable bags for the grocery store.
What?
Yeah.
Really?
So reusable bags are usually fabric of some sort.
So they say to wash them because what are you doing?
You're putting, if you think about it this way, you're putting items that everyone has
either grabbed in the grocery store and put back.
People's fingerprints and other people's, you know, who knows what's on their finger.
They sneeze on their hand, putting them in these bags.
Ew.
You're putting the bags in the shopping carts that hopefully people are wiping down, but
yeah, anymore, that's not really happening.
So the bags themselves are just kind of like gross.
And I'm sure there's been a spill of some sort of, you know, product in the bags at some
point.
So you just, that's easy.
I mean, how many times do you put meat in your bags?
Chicken or turkey?
And it's like, it comes, you know, sometimes the packaging leaks.
Yeah.
And I just put vegetables right on top.
Probably just the bags.
So you know what I'm going to serve these for lunch today?
I love chicken.
Okay.
All right.
So those pillows that you put in the wash before you put your pillowcases in the wash,
if you have a ceiling fan, put the pillowcase, one pillowcase on each blade before you dust,
you don't want to dust it or turn the fan on and then the dust goes everywhere.
Say you haven't used your fan in five months, you know, six months, whatever, it's collected
a lot of dust.
The last thing you want to do is turn it on and then the dust flies everywhere.
You also don't want to just put one of those swifters up there because it's all going to
fall down the sides.
Right.
So what they say to do is put a pillowcase on each blade and then put one hand on the
top, one hand on the bottom and pull it off.
So all the dust goes into the pillowcase, shake that out outside and then put the pillowcase
in the wash.
That's a really good idea.
Just go to the dollar store and get four or five dollar store pillowcases and just only
use it for that.
You just burn the house down.
Yeah.
I would just go for that.
I like that one.
I don't have any over head fans.
No.
I love a ceiling fan, but I got to clean.
This is not an actual tip, but clean your box fans too if you sleep with a box fan.
You know how gross they get?
Yeah.
I think you have to actually screw drive and take the front of them off so you can get
into the fan itself, but nobody does that, but we really should.
Should we?
Moving on.
Reorganize your drunk.
No.
Say it again.
Do it again.
Reorganized your junk in the drawer.
Your drunk drawer.
Oh my gosh.
Wait, let's say it 10 times fast.
Ready?
Say it again.
Junk drawer.
I lost all movement in my mouth.
Literally, this is not even 9 a.m. yet.
So sure isn't.
We're not drinking anything, but lots of apology coffee.
Maybe that's why.
Your junk drawer, which we all have.
Carly has three of them.
Oh, no, you have a whole cabinet.
I have a house.
Yes.
And you know what?
It's Andrew's, I think, biggest pet peeve with me.
It's a junk cabinet, microwave, junk drawer.
She doesn't store things in the microwave, but the microwave is in between them just
to be clear.
It's close because the papers are just all over the place.
Oh, yours is with paper too.
It's not just like pens and rubber bands.
I mean, you can't even shut the drawer sometimes because there's so many pens and markers and
screwdrivers.
Yeah, it's horrible.
Yeah.
I will pat myself on the back.
My friend Colleen, hey, Coll, she said I have the most organized junk drawer she's
ever seen in her entire life.
I because first of all, when we move houses or apartments or whatever, mom gets the kitchen.
Yes, she does.
She loves a good kitchen, but she also hates doing it.
But we're always like, yeah, mom, you go to the kitchen.
You do the kitchen.
And she cleans and she puts away the plates and organizes.
So when everything's said and done, I'm like, okay, tour me around the kitchen.
Where's all my stuff?
But she loves the container store.
And so my junk drawer has all of the dividers, all of the little container holds the rubber
bands, this one's for safety pins, this one's for pens and highlighters and stuff like that.
And I keep them as organized as I can, but they do get a little wild.
Oh, mine was like that for like three days.
Nice.
The way mom did it.
And then it completely went to SHIT.
I looked, you don't even have rubber bands.
I looked for rubber bands the other day and I was like, this is alarming.
Or paper clips.
I didn't have to look for those, but I believe that.
I have a lot of dried out glue sticks.
So if anyone's in the market for some dried out glue sticks, I have not thrown them away.
They're in my junk drawer.
Put them in the back of the refrigerator with the strawberries.
Wait, so what are we supposed to do?
Just reorganize.
Oh, just reorganize it.
Like get yourself together, take everything out, organize it, maybe actually purchase
some of these little organizational bins so that you feel a little bit better.
Put your post it somewhere and make sure that you know and can hand or easily get in there
with your hand and grab what you need.
And then it just, I think the purpose is to, when you organize anything, you feel a little
bit lighter in the headspace because you don't have to work so hard to look for the rubber
bands that literally don't exist in your house.
Sounds fun.
I have all the rubber bands.
This one you might not think is a spring cleaning one, but it's an all seasons.
It's an all play.
It's clean your phone.
Really not like de-friend or unfriend people or black people.
It means to clean the bacteria off your phone.
I mean, we all know what you're doing on the toilet.
And it's how close is it to the toilet, right?
So turn your, I know this, this went somewhere else.
Turn your phone off.
Number one.
Then get that same like buffering cloth.
You can get them at the dollar store and put a little bit of white vinegar and lemon
in the cloth and wipe down your phone like a microfiber cloth and basically buff your
phone and disinfect it for all the bacteria.
It's worse than your toilet.
And the case I would venture to say, right?
Like the grooves of the casing.
You can get a Q-tip and you can go in and out.
I mean, my phone, you can get in there and you can actually see dust in my phone, like
in the grooves of my phone.
Yeah, that is, if I think about it too hard, I don't want to.
But like when you go to a restaurant, you have to go to the bathroom and you don't bring
your purse, but you're holding your phone.
Because God forbid we leave a phone on the table or even if you leave it on the table,
it's on the table where other people have put their hands and sneezed and then you put
it up to your face.
Well, I'm never going out again.
I know.
We're just disinfect your phone.
Oh my gosh.
So gross.
All right.
This one might seem simple.
Cool.
But it's also something that I know unless it gets outlandish.
We don't think about it a lot.
But replace, it's twofold, replace the shower curtain liner.
I was going to do this one and then I skipped it.
Like get rid of it.
Get a new one if it's plastic.
And if it's fabric, wash it.
And the shower curtain, this is the second part, wash the shower curtain.
Yeah.
I never do that because they're next to the toilet.
And we put our hands on it.
We open and close the shower curtain, but it's right.
I mean, when you flush, I don't know if you guys know this, but when you flush the toilet,
you should always close the lid because the bacteria from the flush jumps six feet.
You always tell me this, like hide your toothbrushes.
Hide your toothbrushes if they are open on the counter in your bathroom because the toilet,
even if you shut the toilet, there's still open spaces in the seat.
And it gets out there.
That's why in public bathrooms, I use my foot and I run.
I know.
She's such a, she also is like a high functioning germaphobe.
I'm not an actual germaphobe.
I just, no, I said high functioning.
Oh, for all intensive purposes, you are a high functioning germaphobe.
We're fishing in the middle of germs.
All right.
Last one for me.
And this one is very serious.
And it's something I've never done before.
You need to clean your coffee maker.
How often do you clean your coffee maker?
Not often enough, but it gets grimy.
So to get rid of the grime and not just put it through water and soap, you put water and
vinegar and just run water and vinegar without any, clearly any coffee beans or anything
like that.
No, no, no.
Please don't do that.
Just run it through like you would make regular coffee, but 50% vinegar, 50% water, and it
cleans from the inside.
Oh, I don't do that.
I just put the pot in the dishwasher.
Well, I don't do that either, but run the vinegar.
It gets all the insides.
Interesting.
I actually will do that.
Yeah, I think I will too.
All right.
My last one doesn't even pertain to me, but if you have the children, that same tip of
cleaning the stove racks in the bathtub, clean your kids' toys.
What?
Put your kids' toys.
Plastic toys.
Plastic fabric would be, I mean, if you can do fabric, put them in the washer.
But plastic toys, Legos, pieces that are out all the time, soak them in the bathtub.
Fill it up with water.
Get that.
You should drink every time we save vinegar, but it's a little late now.
Vinegar, the lemon, all the things, and just let them soak for a little bit and then put
them on a towel and let them dry because they're coming home from school.
They're getting, I mean, your kids get little colds all the time.
They're sick right now.
They're probably wiping their hands on their sweater.
Toys and their sweaters.
So they're kind of gross, especially, and if you have pets, the pets lick things.
So you just want to clean things up, especially if they're going to go into your, if you have
a toddler, their mouth or anything like that.
But I wouldn't think to clean the kids' room toys.
I would think to organize.
I wouldn't think to like deep, deep clean.
Neither would I.
It's a good idea.
And I don't think I ever have.
You're nine years in.
Right?
Well, piggybacking off of that, you need to clean their stuffed animals.
I mean, I don't want to because there's 97 on each of their beds and that takes a while,
but also your dogs stuffed animals.
So if you were kids stuffed animals and your dog toy stuffed animals, we just cleaned a
couple of Pippi's like stuffed giraffes or stuff like whatever.
And I was like, Oh, did that get in there by mistake?
And Andrew said, No, I washed them.
It was disgusting.
I was like, I mean, yeah, they get gross.
Yeah.
But he put it in with our clothes.
Don't put it in with kids clothes.
Put it by itself.
It's still getting washed.
I know what that grosses me out.
Her slobber was all on the clothes.
That grosses you out out of a lot of things.
That's a good idea, though.
I do that to her blankie that she like, yeah, same thing everywhere.
Pet bed or whatever, like put it all in the wash.
Just wash the things that you don't normally wash and that will instantly refresh your
mind if nothing else.
So that to wrap this up of the tips and stuff, that's the point of spring cleaning.
It is to refresh, rejuvenate and reset your house, your closet, your kitchen, whatever
it is that is kind of fogging up the mindset of getting out of the winter so that you can
open the windows and just feel like brand new.
That is the whole point of spring cleaning.
Besides the soot from the olden days.
So there's so many more tips on the link that we're going to put in the show notes.
There's like 40 some of them.
Check them out.
They're not just like clean your carpets.
I know it sounded like we did like 39, but I think we only did like 12.
So all right, well, we have a little game.
Victoria was like, you got a cleaning game?
I was like, yes, yes, I do.
She's going to fail.
I mean, clean terribly.
Like miserably, miserably, she's going to fail.
I'm going to fail.
It's called clean up your act.
That's original.
These questions are not.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Clean up your act.
You need to fill in.
I do.
I'm going to say a fact.
This is a mad lib.
Yeah.
You need to fill in what it is.
Okay.
But correctly.
Correctly.
And you're not going to get one of them right.
So I'm just letting you know that.
You're setting me up for failure.
Yes.
Cool.
Yes.
For all intents of coffee tomorrow.
For all intents of purposes, you'll get a 24 ounce.
Okay.
Cleaning for two hours burns how many calories?
Cleaning?
Just cleaning your house.
200.
Yes.
You said I wasn't going to get any right.
Oh my gosh.
So if you don't exercise today, but you clean your house, know that you burned around 200
calories.
It's actually pretty interesting.
And I guess totally.
If you aren't using natural or eco-friendly cleaning products like vinegar, lemon, vodka,
then you're horrible.
The air quality in your home is how much, what percentage worse than the air outdoors?
If you are using like Windex and all that kind of stuff.
Harsh chemical.
Harsh chemicals.
It's how much worse than the actual outdoor air.
So if the outdoor air is like 100% clean, is that the number I'm going off of?
Uh, 50?
500.
Huh?
It's putting chemicals into your home in the air and it's making it 500 times worse
than the air outside.
Oh my gosh.
Isn't that horrible?
That's why so many people are going to eco-friendly products and sustainable living.
Yes.
Wow.
That's worth the price of sustainable living because it is expensive a little bit.
If you don't know what sustainable living is, you need to go to refill in Havartown.
Yes.
Owned by EverFresh, the yoga studio that we love.
They in the back of their shop has an entire shop of products that are safe for your home,
safe for your kids and will even out the outdoor indoor air.
I can't believe it's 500%.
500% worse.
I said 50.
Yeah.
Oh, this one, you're done.
What is the cleanest country in the world?
Cleanest country.
Cleanest.
It's not Delco.
It's not a country.
It feels like its own passport, but it's not a country.
Okay.
Cleanest, let's say.
What does it say?
Okay.
Sweden or Norway or Iceland?
Iceland.
What?
I would have never thought that.
I'm picturing the postcard and it's just so blue.
Wow.
And the second one is Sierra Leone.
Oh wow.
That's due to air quality, transportation, all that air pollution.
I think they're ahead of the game on all this stuff.
So what contains more germs, the toilet or your kitchen sink?
Kitchen sink.
That I actually did know.
Really?
That's part of my germophobia.
You're doing better than I thought.
What percentage of dust articles in your home, dust articles are made up of dead since
skin cells?
Oh my gosh.
What percentage?
This is disgusting.
190.
So the dust around your home when you're cleaning, 90% of it are dead skin cells.
And if you're around Carly, it's about 500% because she picks her cuticles.
Oh my gosh.
But that's how I know I'll be found when somebody murders me because you will follow the trail
of dead skin cells.
No, you're going to get convicted of a lot of murders that you didn't do because of
my dead skin.
You're everywhere.
Oh my gosh.
That's actually kind of disgusting.
Yeah.
Isn't that gross?
Most antibacterial cleaners must be left on the actual surface for how many seconds
before you wipe it away.
Oh.
Like if you lice all, if you spray lice all, if you spray Windex, how many seconds do
you leave it before you wipe it?
Like five?
60.
What?
I know.
That's why cleaning takes so long and I don't do it.
A whole minute.
You have to spray it and then wait a minute for it to actually soak in and work before
you wipe it away.
This is stupid.
Okay.
Did not know that.
Have never done that.
The average woman.
Average.
Okay.
Woman.
Not you.
Cool.
So not me.
Cleans the house how many hours in her life?
In a lifetime?
Lifetime.
Post renaissance.
Because we know that's all they did.
Oh my gosh.
Well, I don't, rapid fire.
Pick a number.
100 hours.
Are you serious?
Is it 100?
No.
It's 12,896.
Oh my God.
100 hours is what I do in like a year because I have so many parties.
I am not good at picking like, guess how many jelly beans are in the jar.
Clearly.
How many hours does an average man clean the house?
Average.
Because Andrew cleans way more than I do.
I was going to say two, but you just ruined it with Andrew.
So what was the woman's?
12,896.
So what was the woman's?
12,896.
So what was the woman's?
12,896.
You know, 9,000.
6,448.
Sorry guys.
I was trying to help you out.
6,000.
Only six.
That's the average.
That's the general statement.
Like dad loves cleaning.
Dad cleans a lot.
Yes.
Andrew loves cleaning.
I mean, he can't go to bed unless the kitchen is spotless for the next morning.
Like that's average.
And also I can't go to bed unless the cleaning lady comes once a month.
How are you married to each other?
Because we have a cleaner.
Honest to God, that is a fact that we budget into it for our mental health.
Cleaning lady.
A cleaning service.
And I love my cleaning service.
If you need one, I will give you her name.
But it's in our budget for mental health because it's a clean house is very important for your
mental health.
And literally it becomes one of the biggest fights between couples because I think he's
blaming me that I can't keep the house clean.
And I'm like, I do so much.
Right.
I can't do it all.
Right.
Something's got to give.
Like that's why people get cleaning services.
But that's a really valid point.
And it's a met for us.
It's like for our mental health and knowing that she's coming once a month is like a sire
relief.
I just thought you were bougie.
And lazy.
I am that too.
Wait, wait, it's all it's a package in a little bow.
All-incumbissing.
Moving on.
What?
A couple more.
A fruit can be used to polish silver.
It's the outside of a fruit.
Banana peel?
Yes.
Yeah.
You knew that?
I did.
But if you didn't say the outside, I would have said like something citrusy, but I did
know banana peel.
So I'm glad that you gave me that little heads up.
It's annoying.
What condiment can be used to remove watermarks on wood?
And we know this condiment very well.
Manies?
Sweet.
What?
Manies and a hair dryer.
So you rub manies on the watermark.
If it's been there for a long time, if the watermark's been there for like years, you
rub manies on it, get a hair dryer, and you put it like a couple inches away and you then
you wipe it.
Oh my gosh.
You wipe it away.
See, that just makes me concerned about manies.
Like why are people eating that if you can clean with it?
And like Coca-Cola, that stuff.
All right.
Last one.
Another condiment.
What condiment can be used to bring back the shine on tarnished brass or corroded?
Brass.
Yeah.
What condiment?
It's not manies.
We can't do all the mayos can't do everything.
They already have a clinic and everything, you know?
Overachievers.
A condiment, but brass not stainless steel like specifically brass?
Specifically brass.
Mustard?
Catch up.
So you get catch up on that microfiber?
Cloth and you rub it on brass and the corrosion and the like it the tarnish.
That's comes off weird.
I know.
That seems weird to me.
Also something that you put in your body.
So is it tarnish?
Is it cleaning up your insides?
Can we look at it like that?
Oh, wait, I want to leave you with this last one that's really going to gross everybody
out.
Why?
I would love to leave that sort of taste in your mouth.
Mattresses can contain.
How many dust mites?
Your mattress?
How many dust mites?
Dust mites are living living organisms in your mattress.
Why are you doing this?
Because I love hurt you.
I love a good shock value.
Disgusting.
Because I'm never going to sleep again.
I'm disgusted that I'm sleeping on dust mites and on my head and my mattress.
How many like you want me to count the families?
Yeah.
Dust mites like the little.
I don't know, a thousand.
Mm hmm.
10 million.
What in your mattress?
10 up to depending on the size of your mattress.
So you have a king.
I'm a king.
We both have kings up to 10 million dust mites in your mattress.
So what that means is you need to what they say is you spray lavender on it because lavender
kills dust mites.
Oh my God.
I'm about to bathe.
I'm going to spray lavender and then vacuum your mattress.
Vacuum the mattress.
You vacuum those dust mites up because they come up for the lavender.
Oh.
Isn't that gross?
Oh my gosh.
It's like a murder.
Oh my God.
I'm just kidding.
Okay.
You sleep on the dust mites.
I'm just kidding.
I will do that.
I will definitely do that.
That's very alarming and upsetting and I'm upset.
I'm sorry I left you with that.
But guess what?
You actually won.
I think I did.
You know a lot more about cleaning than I thought you did.
I'm like dad.
Yes.
I have a little bit of the OCD with it.
However, I can also go.
I mean, if you look at my floor, I need to sweep.
I need to vacuum.
I try to do it once a week, but life just gets in the way and I get tired.
So I have a lot of tips that are things that in our tips that I need to do.
I have a lot to tell our cleaning service that she has to do.
What's funny is that I was going to plan to do a Carly on the spot.
That's bad.
And the Carly on the spot was going to be, do you get satisfaction from cleaning or
do you get satisfaction from your cleaning service that you go?
My cleaning service.
Because I know you like, you guys clean on Saturdays sometimes.
Yes.
After class, but we come home and Saturdays is like our cleaning day, but we are the
type of household that has to clean before the cleaners.
And I know there are a lot of you out there, but like we scramble.
You mean organize?
Like get stuff out of the way.
But like get the dishes out of the sink, get the, put the laundry away because we want
her to clean and not put our stuff away.
Right.
That's our job.
Right.
We want her to lice all and do all that kind of stuff, do the windows and stuff that you
can't get to the windows if there's a pile of laundry in front of it or whatever.
So you straighten up.
We straighten up.
Yeah.
We don't, to allow the cleaner to do the scrubbing and all that.
We don't index and stuff before she comes over, but yeah.
You know, I would say I get more satisfaction when I come home and the house smells like
lemon and I'm like, oh my gosh.
That's on my own breath as I walk in the house.
Like, man.
But yes, I would get more satisfaction.
I don't get satisfaction out of cleaning myself.
I get satisfaction out of organizing.
Like my, you know, my junk closet, you know, I have a junk closet that's six tiers high.
When I clean that out, I look at it and I'm like, man, I've really done something with
my life and it's a mixture.
It's games, it's party plates and serving stuff, supplies, games, art, crafts, it's
a mess, suitcases.
Oh yeah.
And it's six tiers high.
So like, I mean, shelves for all of us peasants, six tiers high, I mean shelving.
But when I clean that out, I honestly feel like I could do anything.
Yeah.
It takes a while though.
It takes an entire day.
I feel like that when I do the carpets.
Hit that again.
I just wanted you to feel like it was last week with Carmell and Vicky.
So I just want to hit the microphone a little bit.
I have that little, I don't know what it's called actually.
It looks like a spatula type of thing and you can get the things in the carpet that
you don't know exist.
Oh, like a vegetable peeler.
Yes.
Yeah.
Not a spatula.
Yeah, mom got me one too and it's been in my closet with my shoes for a while.
That's weird.
I thought it was for something else.
Have you not used like your heels?
It's for the carpet.
Oh, I thought it was like a foot thing, but it looks like a, that's what it is.
It's for the carpet.
Don't use it on your heels.
Really, our cast system here is just so different.
It is amazing though.
Our cast system.
It is.
C-A-S-T-E.
Our cast system.
I am the peasant and Carly is wearing the big puffy sleeves and she doesn't know anything
about anything.
I'm, you put them in your shoes.
I can get the soot off my shoes.
I can't.
You peasant.
I have soot all over my face, but this little, this little, you know, potato peeler thing,
it is alarming.
Yeah.
After you vacuum, you're not actually done.
I don't even vacuum the carpets anymore.
I just use that thing because I fill up an entire trash bag of dead skin cells, kind
of your fingers and my hair and everything else.
Nobody come up to me and asked to look at my fingers.
Number one, you will think I need to go to the hospital.
You'll run away.
I look like Michael Jackson and I have a band-aid on every single one.
Let's see.
I only have five today.
That's why when we're on stage and I'm like, Carly, clean up your band-aids at Seafit.
That's, they just fall off.
But I don't have anxiety.
I just have band-aids.
Yeah.
No.
Maybe if you cleaned more, you'd get the anxiety out, but we won't get into that.
Let's next week.
Yeah.
Well, we hope, we hope that you are feeling springtime in your hearts and your mom's
minds and a little bit of the, maybe not cleaning, maybe it's just reorganizing your house or
maybe it's getting rid of all of the friendly little dust mites.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
That's so upsetting.
Oh, wait, really quickly.
You're going to be annoyed by this.
Cool.
But a good way to clean the air in your bedroom is a snake plant.
Yep.
I am annoyed.
Yeah.
Mom got you one.
And they're very, very hard to kill.
Look up snake plant.
You know exactly what they are.
You see them.
They're just green and normal, but they re-purify the air like a dehumidifier in your bedroom
or any room.
I have one in every room.
But they're going to live so long.
The tip that I want to tell you about the snake plant is that you have to clean the
leaves because if they get dusty, you have to, I saw you have to dust your plants.
I thought that was for people with fake plants.
Well, yes, because that's gross.
But now they, if they can't re-purify the air, if their pores are closed up with dust,
so you have to clean them off.
Oh, wow.
And they can't breathe.
They basically, right, they're suffocating them.
Oh yeah.
That's why mine died.
I can kill a cactus.
It's a special skill.
What's your special skill, little girl?
I can kill a cactus.
I don't know why anybody's calling me little girl these days.
I don't know either.
Oh my gosh.
It would have been better if you were like, well, for all intents and purposes, I can kill
a cactus.
I can say the alphabet backwards, name all 50 states and kill cactuses.
Can you do those things?
Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia,
Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts,
Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire,
New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania,
Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas.
I can't even help you.
Something.
Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington,
West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming, first of all, incredibly impressive that you remember
that song and you looked exactly the way you did at eight when you learned it.
Second of all, I really love the state of IOE.
I love IOE.
I think it was IOA.
I would like to visit that state.
I enjoyed it.
That was its original form probably.
IOA.
Listen, my gosh.
Don't say that you didn't learn something from this podcast today.
Don't you dare say it.
We're all intents and purposes.
We did.
Let's piggyback off that.
Do you know?
Don't you dare is really saying, do not you dare.
Don't is do not.
Don't you dare.
Do not you dare.
Don't you dare.
It doesn't make any sense.
I know.
So why do we say don't you dare?
Don't you dare.
Don't.
You should not dare.
Do not you dare.
I just read that.
So then it should be don't dare.
Do not dare.
Don't dare.
Do not you dare.
No, I'm going to say do not you dare.
Anyway.
Well, we just would like you to remember Alabama.
Oh, that's got Arizona, Arkansas.
Do not you dare.
Just remember you are always fit to be real and always allowed to be a little extra.
For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and
educational purposes only.
We are not healthcare professionals.
For all of your health, wellness, fitness and self care needs, please refer to the medical
professional in your life.
Your primary care physician, your therapist, a certified coach, whoever it may be.
And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to do.
Okay.
Bye.