Welcome to Fit to Be Real and a little extra.
We're talking self care, which we've done before,
but it's special this time because it's on a budget.
Yes, because we know that's what everybody wants
in the new year when you're trying to save,
you're trying to, one of your self care could be
putting yourself on a budget.
Everybody after Christmas is on a budget.
Yeah.
So this will be fun.
There's a lot in what we're gonna say
and I highly, highly recommend to go into the reference notes
and read this article and there's even more links
within the article that you can dive into
the specific self care tip and you should.
Well, I mean, who thought of this episode?
Who found the articles?
I'm just wondering.
Do you know?
It's one article.
Clearly we know the answer by the question
like Carly is the spearhead behind this.
I mean, I found a few articles, but this one was the best.
So it was me.
Hi, it's me.
Oh, that's the wrong lyrics.
It's me.
Oh, hi.
Oh, I'm the problem.
There was so much to unpack in that phrase.
Listen, member, member?
My new year's goal is to have more fun.
So I'm having fun right now.
So I'm doing it.
I'm doing the goal.
I'm reaching the goal.
This might be the peak of my goal.
Oh no.
You're only a weekend of the year.
Downhill.
If this is the most fun I'm gonna have in 2024.
I don't wanna go big or go home.
I just wanna go home.
Well, good.
There's a lot of things we're about to say
that you can do at home while you're there.
You're so good at this.
I know.
I'm Victoria.
Hey guys, I'm Carly.
And scene.
So I have to let you know that editing
has just happened for this intro.
And it happened three times.
So please listen to the blooper
because all of what just happened will be in the blooper.
And the way that she just said her name
was the best we could get from her.
So please go listen to the blooper.
I'm doing the best that I can.
And then come back.
I don't know.
It's one of those days when you just wake up
and you wake up and then it's the day.
What?
I need some self care in my life.
Let's talk about that.
There are like 100 million.
No.
Her pinky was in her corner of her mouth.
100 million.
That's true.
There were actually not 100.
There's 99 problems and Carly is one of them.
But there are 99 different options for self care
in this specific article that we have kind of ran with.
We are not going to rattle off on 99.
What?
Victoria did.
She wrote down all 99 of them.
I walked in up.
I said 10.
I did.
So do you remember in the first little bit that we said
and Carly wanted praise for picking the article
and picking what we were going to talk about?
She also didn't tell me what she was picking from it.
So I had to write all of them down
in case what I picked was what she picked.
It's me.
Hi.
Oh good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stop there.
That's good.
So we are just going to give you 10 each.
So we're going to be 20 tips.
The article has way more and truly.
They're all good.
They're all phenomenal.
They're all things that you wouldn't think of.
And these, again, as we've said before,
they're not going to be mind blowing
like things you've learned.
But it's going to give you a new take on, oh, you're right.
That is actually self care.
Things that you wouldn't think of as self care actually are.
There's one of them that I don't think are on either of our lists
that I'm going to give an example of what you just said.
And it was washing your bedding and your pillowcases,
like the couch pillowcases and stuff like that,
and curtains if you have, I guess, fabric curtains, washing them.
And maybe included in that is your clothes, like your laundry.
Yeah, yeah, definitely do that.
But it was basically a day of getting your washing done
and then reading the feeling when you do your bed
and you're like, I can't wait to get in bed.
It is the best feeling to get in a bed with clean sheets.
It's like a brand new bed.
It's like a hotel. Yes.
Give us your first favorite self care.
My first favorite on the budget self care
is reorganize your closet with this goal.
You have to have this goal in mind.
You cannot deviate from this goal.
The goal is I want to feel joy when I open this door.
Oh, and that that's what everybody should feel like
when they look in the closet.
And that doesn't it means clean the closet.
It means color coat the closet.
I like to color code it.
And it doesn't always end up that way
because sometimes you just throw in your clothes together.
But how nice would it be to walk into your closet
or open the door to your closet?
And it'd be like a pretty array of rainbow colors all put together
or just tidy.
Yeah, that makes you feel good.
I know for me, my closet right now has a bag of Christmas presents
that I have not gone through yet to put away.
Yeah, like an enormous T.J.
Max bag of everything I got for Christmas,
just sitting there with like shoes all over it.
Like it does not look good right now.
You think you're special.
You got Christmas gifts.
Is that what you're trying to say?
What? Like it's hard.
Like it's those two different movies, by the way,
Mean Girls and Legally Blunt.
Very good.
But one, it makes your routine of the day go by a little quicker.
Two, it's just that one second out of the day where you can go,
that makes me feel good.
Yeah.
You know, that's nice.
And isn't that what self care is all about?
Just that little bit of joy.
And when you want to open the closet door, you want to feel that.
So.
OK, I'm putting two together because I think they can be done
together and not be overwhelming, which is go to produce junction.
If that is something that you have in your area
or some sort of produce place or Trader Joe's
an inexpensive place to get flowers.
Letal.
Oh, this is so you.
And just put flowers in your house.
Yeah.
I when I go to the grocery store and I usually go to Aldi or Letal.
A place like that.
Trader Joe's is actually pretty inexpensive for flowers as well.
I will pick up a small bouquet or if they're really like 299,
I'll pick up a few and I will put them around my house.
One goes on the island in the kitchen, one's on the coffee table.
Maybe one goes into my bedroom and that's it.
But they're so nice to look at.
Yeah.
And why do we only do that when we're having guests over?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you don't even do that.
I don't do that at all.
Yeah.
But what you do is the next one that I'm pairing it with,
which is light a candle.
Yes.
Light a candle where you're in a room and then don't leave the house.
But when you're home, light a candle.
Right now I have one on the coffee table lit and I have one in the bathroom lit.
And guess what?
When I walked into Victoria's house this morning,
I felt immediate joy because I was like, oh, it smells so good in here.
And it's pumpkin spice.
Well, it's my favorite.
All season I do pumpkin.
I don't care what it's July unless I'm smelling pumpkin spice.
Those are things that we usually do when we're having guests over
because it cozies up the house and it makes it nice.
But we have to bring that into our every day.
Why not?
Why are you waiting for?
Right.
So if you are someone who likes an inexpensive little bundle of flowers,
they're not going to last forever because they are a little bit cheaper.
First up your house.
Make it vibrant.
It's dark at 3 p.m.
Put some sunflowers on your coffee table.
Yes.
It's a very easy thing.
Yeah.
I'm an easy.
Yep.
What'd you say?
I said it's a very you thing.
Oh, God.
I kill flowers the day I bring them home.
All you have to do fun fact.
Little tip is cut them at the bottom before you put them in the vase
with the packet of food that it comes with, but cut the bottom of them.
Yeah.
It gives them more life and then there's nothing else you have to do.
You will kill them naturally.
Naturally from there.
Natural born killer.
It will take longer.
Did you hear?
Yeah.
We all heard that.
Listen, if you're lighting candles, do not invite Dini boy over
because you will walk in and say, can I blow them out?
He truly does.
He's not in the door yet and he's like, can I blow out your hand?
He likes to make the ghosts come up.
Okay.
Next one.
This one is the easiest and I think most detoxifying thing that you could possibly do.
Oh, you're not going to expect it.
It's clean out your purse of your everyday bag.
I certainly don't expect that.
It feels so good to go through your bag and get every gum wrapper like that you just thrown
back in there.
Change.
You have so much change at the bottom of your bag.
I mean, a lot of people now carry the Lulu lemon like little cross body bags, but guess
what goes fill up too.
Yeah.
You have no idea how many gift cards you have that only like Starbucks cards that only
have $2 on them, but you've got like a 10 of them in your bag.
Like go through your everyday purse and see what treasures you have forgotten about.
It makes you feel so good.
Sounds like a you problem.
That is a very me thing.
With that change, I collect it all and put it in a big jar and I have a very tall three
foot jar full of change.
Yeah.
I do it daily.
My jar is in there.
I clean it out daily.
Yeah.
Oh, you do?
Oh, I do not.
I wait at least six months.
My jackets, that's short for you.
My jackets, my bags, my book.
I use a book bag daily.
I clean it out.
You do have a lot of bags.
When I get home.
I love bags.
I know.
Yeah, you do.
I love them.
I had to stop thinking about it so much because I will just buy them because I'm like, oh,
I love that bag.
I go nowhere.
I have a lot of weekend bags.
A lot of weekender bags.
I like this one because I do it and it's something that's going to be hard for me because when
I'm watching, I know what you're going to say.
I know what you're going to say.
Okay, when I'm watching Netflix or Hulu, whatever, at the end of the day.
End of the day.
I did it last night.
Did you?
Yeah.
Wait, side note, to Abbot Elementary.
So good.
If you guys have not checked it out, first of all, take any recommendations Victoria gives
you because they're usually good.
Second, that is such a good show.
It's about the Philadelphia area, which makes it, I think, a little bit better.
A little bit better.
So good.
It's like the office and it's funny and it's all relatable.
Like the things that they say and that they're doing, I'm like, it's scripted.
Oh my God.
And it's got really big players on it.
So like people that you've forgotten about.
Really big players.
Yeah.
And it's written by a partially written by a Temple University grad.
No.
Oh, yeah, you told me that.
You told me that.
I graduated with her.
She's the nicest, funniest person in the world, but they just, it blew up.
So, watch it, watch it, but go ahead.
Go ahead.
So, I'm doing Abbott Elementary and I don't know how long the episodes are.
Even if they're long, it doesn't matter.
You get to that point where you're like, just one more and then I'll go to bed or just one
more and then I'll do task A, whatever it is that you're like kind of procrastinating.
Instead of doing the just one more, when you hit that end of the episode, the credits are
rolling, immediately turn it off.
And the article suggested read or stretch because we don't do that when we should.
Something that's going to be mindful for you.
And maybe it's another self care tip.
Maybe it's turn it off.
Don't do the just one more episode and give yourself a manicure.
Without noise in the background.
So, you can kind of mix and match these self care tips, but I do the just one more that
gets into the just another one.
Oh, just the last one and then it's 11 and I'm regretting everything because I'm not
even in bed yet.
So, do not do the just one more.
Just say no.
Just say no to your mind.
I had to do that last night.
Andrew was like one more and there are like 21 minutes long, 22 minutes long.
And I was like, I can't keep my eyes open.
No, because I don't want to miss it.
And I want to enjoy it and I'm struggling.
Just turn it off.
And it's a waste because then you have to rewatch it the next time anyway.
Who wants to struggle because you're not staying awake.
Yeah.
So, let's do not.
Just, just no more.
All right.
This might be an unpopular opinion, but I have little children in my house and I think
Victoria can vouch for me on this one.
Play a video game.
Okay.
Now, Victoria, why can you vouch for me on this?
What did you just purchase?
A Nintendo switch.
I had lots of Amazon gift cards.
Just put that out there first.
Speaking of budget, but I've only played twice on my own on your own without my kids, without
your, they haven't been over to play yet.
And I got enough controllers that everybody can do it.
It was mainly for the kids, but I was like, oh, let me just play without the kids yelling
at me the whole time.
See what that feels like.
And it's totally more fun with them yelling at me.
But I don't know.
It was like, you can do the grand prix if you're doing the Mario Kart.
So you do four races to make like one, one go round or whatever.
And then I turned it off.
Well, wait, we're going to settle this debate.
Okay.
M-A-R-I-O.
Mario.
Mario Kart.
It's Mario Kart.
Now I don't know anything in the world.
You've lost all intelligence.
I don't even know if I believe in Mario.
Mario.
It's a me.
It's Mario.
Mario.
No, it's not.
It's me.
It's Mario.
What?
Nobody said that.
Mario Kart.
It's a me.
It's a Mario.
Mario and Luigi.
Ooh.
Mario and Luigi.
Yes.
Mario Kart.
No.
I'm for both.
You're not settling the debate.
I'm for both.
We had this huge debate with our brother over Christmas.
It's a Mario Kart.
I vote that hot dogs are tacos.
That's what I vote with this.
That was so many episodes ago.
Anyway, play a video game.
I, Andrew plays video games all the time with the kids.
I cannot be bothered with it.
It's not my thing.
Why?
I started playing with them because they're like,
oh, you never play Mario Kart with us.
So I played it.
I mean, I was like, you guys are going down.
I have to get better.
It's so fun.
They're freaking out.
The racing one?
Yeah.
The Mario Kart racing one.
Yeah.
But yeah, play a video game.
One, it's fun.
Two, it's mindless.
If you just need to shut off, you don't have to think about anything else.
Play a video game that could be on your phone.
Play Download Tetris.
Best game ever.
Stop it.
I have it for the big screen.
I have to hurry up.
I need to play one game before I leave.
Sometimes self-care is just shutting your mind off to everything you think you have
to do and taking 20 minutes to just be mindless and have fun.
This is one that might seem like, why do we have to talk about this?
But I wrote down, I summed up the whole thing, shower your way.
I saw that.
I didn't write that down.
Because I, so we think, I think about showers the same way.
It's a chore.
You just have to, like when you're exhausted, oh my God, I have to shower.
I have to do my hair.
Or like, you know, if you're a female, you don't wash your hair every day.
Maybe you do.
But I do.
I know.
I do not wash my hair every day.
And it's obvious when I don't, and I'm at the point where it's needed.
You should say right now, I just wash my hair.
Oh, oh, oh.
Are you kidding me?
No, I didn't really look at you.
I washed it yesterday and you said, oh, you showered.
Yeah, you're the worst.
Well, usually I look like a founding father when I don't wash my hair because it's in
a low pony and it's, it's a struggle.
But anyway, shower your way.
Sometimes it's nice to take a really long shower and not think about the problems of
the world.
The problems of the world are just, I feel like the way, in the way my brain works of
growing up, it was like, you're wasting water, don't waste water.
That's what, yeah, sort of that's what I mean.
So fast showers was like the only way.
And you know, it's, sometimes it's nice to do that because I'm just tired and I want
to get in bed or I want to chill out in the couch.
I don't want to have to worry about it.
Sometimes on a weekend, it's nice to take a long shower and a very hot one.
And sometimes it's nice to end with a really cold shower punch.
Like do it your way, enjoy the shower.
Andrew does that every day.
Enjoy his showers.
No, hot shower, 30 second cold.
Yes, you can hear, because he's like singing and he's like warming up the voice and then
he's like, oh, I'm like, cold.
You hit the cold.
Guess what?
His nervous system is very regulated.
You have married a very regulated nervous system, which is wonderful.
I do it for about 20 seconds.
Not every time.
I do not do it at all.
Not every time.
I might do a challenge of trying to get through the whole month of February because it's the
shortest month.
But that's not showering my way.
So yeah, you don't have to.
You're a good nervous system.
Be traumatized forever.
It's great.
But yeah, shower your way.
Enjoy them.
Play music.
Why not?
We never did that.
Andrew brings in our wireless speaker.
Yeah.
And he listens to a podcast while he showers.
It's like you can have fun doing mundane or just daily habitual chores.
Well, I think that's what this episode is supposed to be reminding you of, that like taking
a shower your way is actually enhancing your day, boosting your mood, making you a better
person and a more happy person throughout the day.
Yeah.
Well, it's also finding little things that are in your power to do.
Yeah, you know, when you're feeling like it's such a hard day and everything did nothing
went your way and everything was just like another obstacle or like, oh, I lost this.
I can't believe I dropped this.
And then you get in the shower and you can enjoy it.
You forget about how horrible the day was.
Yeah.
If you're a nighttime shower, you know, but anyway, that's a good one.
I didn't write that down, but now I'm glad you did.
Whip up your favorite meal.
This actually has a two, two parter.
How often do you make your favorite meal of all time, favorite meal of all time?
Now, I know people don't do this every day because we shouldn't because it's probably
gluttonous.
Right.
Exactly.
But that's what I'm saying.
How much would you enjoy it?
Yeah.
Maybe, you know, once in a blue moon.
Remember that episode about blue moons?
Do you know what moon we're in right now?
The one where it's in the sky.
Oh my God.
No.
Keep talking.
Okay.
It's waning.
Don't make me do it.
I'm waning.
That she remembers.
Whip up your favorite meal.
For me, it is rigatoni.
I was just going to say that.
With sun-dried tomatoes and pesto with a whole bunch of Parmesan cheese.
I don't eat dairy, but I will go off the rails for that meal.
Our mom used to make it every year for our, and we only had it once a year.
Just our birthdays.
Our birthday dinner, our mom would make rigatoni with pesto and sun-dried tomatoes, and it
was the best.
Yeah.
And one, it's a meal that reminds us of our childhood.
Two, we never eat.
We never eat it.
We never get to eat it.
We love to just not feel guilty eating it.
But that's, I think, the part of this self-care is that don't feel guilty eating it.
Enjoy it and move on.
We've talked about that a million times, but that is a part of self-care.
Enjoying what you're eating.
Make your favorite meal.
It means something to you.
It reminds you of something.
Whatever it is, it's important to you.
Do that.
Then leftovers make extra so that you can easily access it later in smaller portions,
less gorging or all in.
Just like, yeah, we'll have a little bit here and there, but always make leftovers.
Well, if you do the little bit here and there in this particular format of leftovers, then
it's not, and I'm going to engorge myself, I never get this meal, because then it happens
a little bit more frequently, even though in a healthy way.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, totally.
Like, don't really restrict yourself from something, which is how we are with that meal,
with meals like that.
Then when you have it, you overboard it, and you're like, oh my gosh, I can never have that.
And then it's another six months, and you do it again.
But if you leftover it and have it randomly in the next week following, then it's like,
oh, maybe I'll do that in another month or two.
I don't know.
It's not so scary.
We have a seafitter, Sub Jackie with a Q. She will tell us all the time about what she
eats.
She loves food.
She's really good about thinking about what she's eating.
Honey pie pizza.
She loves it.
If you're in the Delco area, check it out.
But she will say, basically, she doesn't discriminate breakfast to breakfast, lunch
to lunch, dinner to dinner.
She will have dinner for breakfast.
She'll go full out chicken part for breakfast.
No way.
She will do waffles for dinner.
She will have steak for breakfast.
So it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
What she wants is what she wants.
And I think that is a very important self-care tip.
Do what you want when you want.
Who said waffles are only for breakfast?
Who said steak is only for dinner?
I mean, this is taking a much more mental turn that I'm down for.
You know I love this conversation.
Nobody created those rules.
Somebody created them.
We all abide by them in a weird way.
But I love it.
She'll come in and she'll be like, oh my god, I had chicken part for breakfast and it was
so good.
I've got pancakes waiting for me for dinner.
I didn't know that.
Yes, Jackie.
I mean, Jackie works out hard.
Horde.
And she is a huge hiker.
But I just thought that was so awesome.
I was like, yeah, you do you, Jackie.
Jackie, I'm going to adopt that.
I love that.
Jackie, you're my spirit animal.
This kind of goes with stretching.
The importance of stretching, it's something I think I'm talking about a lot more these
days because I need to do it for injuries that I have created for myself and for the
fact that the circulation, I'm going to get yogic, the circulation of the blood, which
is the whole point of the end of any yoga class is when you're going into these postures
that allow the circulation to kind of go all over.
It's, my yoga teacher says, like, I'll let all those good juices that you just kind of
woke up go through the body.
So by the end of class, you're like, that's why you feel so good, right?
So there are two specific postures that you can do anywhere and do not need a yoga mat
for.
One is ragdoll.
Oh, I like ragdoll.
And I know Andrew, he wakes up and does this.
This is part of his morning routine is stretching, but ragdoll is one of them.
And it's just bending at the hips and falling forward, right?
So your feet are on the floor, you're bent over at the hips.
Some people grab their elbows and add like a little swing to it, or you can just let
it kind of all like gravity do its job and hang down.
So it's great for the spine, the back of the legs and getting all of the blood flow to
your head.
Yeah.
At the, especially in the start of the day.
The opposite effect is waterfall.
And there's two ways you could do that.
One is unsupported, which is just laying on your back with your feet straight up towards
the ceiling.
So you make like the letter L with your body hinging at the hips.
And the other one is a supported waterfall, which is putting your being in that position
or putting your butt up to a wall.
So your feet are on the wall.
Support it.
Yeah.
So your legs are supported.
Yes.
Your heels are up again.
Your heels are touching the wall so that you have something to keep them upright, basically.
With her awesome and it allows the circulation to flow through the blood down your legs
to your heart and like flow back up.
So they say you should do five minutes of waterfall every single time.
Five minutes?
It's just laying there.
If you're a book reader, you're reading a book while you're doing that.
You're doing two things at once anyway.
If you're Carly yelling at your children, telling them to do stuff, you could do it
from that position.
Get your uniform on.
I can't help you.
I'm in waterfall.
I mean, what the breakfast?
I don't think you could cook in waterfall or ragdoll, but you think I cook.
You're the one who just said make a meal.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't say I was going to make it.
I'm making mom make it.
Oh my God.
Amazing.
I said whip up your favorite meal.
I didn't say who.
Basically coming out of those two types of postures, feeling reset and rejuvenated and
renewed and kind of either starting the day fresh or maybe you're ending the day or hey,
maybe you're doing both.
If you're Andrew or an Andrew type person, you're starting the day like that.
Maybe you're ending the day before you get in bed just like that, which I wish I was
better at doing.
You know what?
I'm not going to put it out there.
That's my intention for this year, but I'm going to think about it.
You're going to think about putting it out there.
Yeah.
All right.
Maybe by 2026.
You'll be better at that.
But hey, if we had started that and that was part of a routine, neither of our Achilles
tendinitis would have crept up the way that that's true.
We'd had so there's that just no more episode than you go to stretching.
Just saying.
No, you could play video games in that position.
Listen, there are so many ways to mesh these all together.
No excuses.
Make yourself a cup of tea or a cup of coffee and unsubscribe to every unnecessary email
list.
I mean, how good.
I mean, we do self care to make ourselves feel good.
I don't support this.
Why?
Because I don't support you saying it specifically.
I have seven over 17,000 unread emails.
So that little red bubble that she has in the corner of her email.
Yeah.
Icon says 17,000.
Wait.
So I started doing this and guess what?
It's down to 16,853 because I unsubscribed a couple this week.
Yeah, it's like 200.
Yeah.
It was 17 the last time I looked at it.
So that was that's really good.
It's a chore.
Like it's going to take time, but it does self care is all about making yourself feel
better from the inside out.
And I am telling you, if you are like me and you don't have anxiety looking at that number,
like a lot of people do, I don't.
It actually, but it does make me feel good to get rid of them or unsubscribe.
You know how you'd sign up for those one time, 20% off, but then you get the emails for the
rest of your life time.
Just sit there for 10 minutes with a cup of tea.
That's all it takes.
I'm not saying get rid of all 17,000 at once, but you'll, you'll crack away at it and it
will make you feel better.
I love that for you.
Thanks.
Specifically because I don't like looking at your phone.
So really it's for me.
It's okay.
I have 171 voicemails on listen to voicemails.
I can't really talk about this anymore.
It's exciting.
I won't listen to them.
So if you're one of those 171 voicemails, just know they will be there till I die.
Oh my God.
That's so true too.
She's not even going to try.
Okay.
Read.
Already, I know.
Read.
Yep.
If you are a parent, read a parenting book or a little bit more doable, a parent article.
And if you are not a parent and have a pet, read a pet training something or other.
And it is just to, it's basically to keep yourself aware of the habits or the parenting
style that you have.
And here maybe a different way it could be approached.
And maybe you'll find that it's similar and you're like, wow, all right, I'm doing a really
good job.
Or maybe it comes off in the way of, all right, I really want to, I really want to switch
how I correct mistakes or how I try to get them to move faster in the morning.
Or if it's a dog, how I try to get my dog to do paw.
You know, well, Victoria is trying to teach her dog to talk.
So she'll do it.
It's going to happen by 20, 25, 6.
It's going to happen.
No, I think that's really good, especially if you and your husband, Andrew, have very
different parenting styles.
That is another piece of it.
You have to be on par.
You're very opposite.
Like in the mornings, I'm screaming and yelling, get in the car, get in the car, hurry up faster.
And he's like kneeling down, talking through things.
There's a happy medium.
Yes, there's a happy medium, I'm sure.
We were raised on like, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.
And he was not.
So like, he's, we're very different in that way.
So I think that there's a very happy medium that would make everybody's lives calmer
if we met in the middle somewhere.
Or if we talked about it, we're read a little more on how to meet in the middle, right?
Instead of like, you should do this because your way is not working.
It'll never, you'll never, you'll get divorced.
Yeah.
Like that way is never the right way.
Oh, I think that this morning.
Okay.
I just, I think I'm surprised that I, that one popped out for me.
Yeah.
But I do think that there, there's just so much out there that is, people are going
off of their conditioning and how they were raised, even if they know that like that's
not necessarily the way that you want it to be done or that it could like, it's not the
only way that things can be done.
So just being informed, I gave Carly a book a long time ago that she still hasn't read
and every time she complains to me or brings up a moment of like, oh my gosh, what do I
do?
I say, hey, remember that book that you saw me giving back?
Answers are in that book.
Do you want it back?
It's a very, well, yeah, because I'm going to have to help you with the situation.
But there are ways to deal with everything and I think the awareness comes from like
being informed.
Make a Spotify playlist of all your favorite songs, disappear into it and allow the memories
to flood back.
This is probably one of my favorite ones because it would be full of instinct, Britney Spears,
Christina Aguilera, 90 degrees, Backstreet Boys, but guess what?
It would make me so happy to just like, I and Ben Platt and Ben Platt.
They're current as well.
So my kids definitely, if I'll say, who do you want to put on Alexa?
They'll be like, just put Ben Platt on mom.
We know.
I'm like, no prob.
Put on it Alexa, put on Google and just let your favorite songs play and just instantly
your mood changes.
It just does.
It could be while you're cleaning or cooking.
That's what I mean.
We're just around the house doing the laundry on Sundays.
I will, if I'm not teaching the once a month, I will put on Ben Platt as we are around the
house, either cleaning or doing whatever it is and it's so calming.
And I just sometimes not listening to something new and having to think or really listen,
but listening to the things that you know so well and you love so well just puts you
in a different mood.
Changes your attitude.
Sometimes I don't like to think.
I know.
I don't think you have to say that out loud.
If you have a pet, a cuddly pet, a dog, a cat, not a gecko or a lizard or a snake, hey,
you want to cuddle your snake, you go for it.
Actually rest and cuddle with your pet.
That cuddle, that physical touch with another heartbeat releases dopamine, which is the happy
feeling.
That's why they have cats and dogs in nursing homes, in assisted livings and in children's
hospitals sometimes for that exact reason.
And it's a good one for you because, Carly specifically, because you're supposed to have
like eight hugs a day, physical touch eight hugs a day for optimal stress relief, happy
feeling, living the best life you can.
So if you're not getting eight hugs a day, one hug from a dog is all eight.
That's the same correlation.
Cheen-lacing.
Yes.
So yeah, if you have a pet, factor it into your day and you will just feel better.
If you're somebody who has anxiety and panic attacks, while you're having said panic attack,
if you are hugging a pet, you will get out of that panic mode a little bit faster.
That's a fact.
I like that.
I do like cuddling with Kuka and Pippi when she's not being annoying.
Thank you for that.
Thank you.
That's good.
This next line is a little deeper self care and one that I think is really interesting.
I hope that I do it.
It is to hand write a note to your present self.
So what that means is to write a note to yourself about what you want to remember at this moment
in time.
What is it about this time?
I'm just going to say it a different way that you want to remember.
Thank you.
But then a year from now, two years from now, basically like a little time capsule to yourself,
think, go back and read it.
What was so important to you right now that maybe is still important to you two years from
now, three years from now or is completely gone and it was not really that important
to begin with.
I kind of already done this.
Oh, really?
So I it wasn't like a like a baby book of like, this is what I'm into right now.
And this is what I'm listening to and kind of like what you're saying.
But on December 31st, 2022, I wrote myself a goodbye 2022 letter.
Whoa, that sounds very.
Oh no.
I was like, this is what I was going through.
This is what happened.
This is how I was feeling.
This is all the things that I started doing for myself.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I forgot that I did it.
And it's in my journal.
It's my daily journal.
And so I went in at the start of this year, 2024.
And I was like, oh my gosh, I got to do it again.
Was it super different or were you like, oh, do you know what I mean?
Like it was very different.
Because the year of 2023 was very different than the year of 2022.
OK.
A lot of similarities, a lot of struggles, a lot of things that I went through, a lot
of different things I started doing for myself.
So it was just, it'll be interesting at the end of 2024.
I'm going to do it again of goodbye 2024 and kind of the recap.
That's the word.
A recap.
It was like a recap of the year.
And so I unintentionally started this little tradition for myself and it was eye opening
to remember things that I thought I would never forget.
Yeah.
And you forget.
You forget.
Yeah.
I do it in the kids' books for their birthday every year.
I wish I did it more, but every year on their birthday they each have their own book and
I write them a letter on their birthday.
Have you been consistent with that?
Yeah.
No way.
To tell them what they love at this moment, why they're funny things that they said are
or whatever, you know, what they're into.
But I wish I did it more throughout the year because once a year, it's kind of hard.
Because you forget.
Yeah.
You forget all the really, really fun, fun things, but I don't do it for myself.
So I'm going to, I might do that.
Good.
Affirmations are things, mantras that you say to yourself in any aspect of improvement
that you would like.
So if it's I want to feel more self-confident this year, right?
You do have to have like an intention and a goal of wanting to do this.
So if you want to feel more confident, maybe your affirmation is I can do anything I put
my mind to and like every morning that's what you say.
Or honestly, I'm a badass boss babe.
Like you say that to yourself every day.
So the hard part and the reason why I'm bringing this one up is finding what affirmation works
for you or one that like it's really just like what I just did.
I kind of struggled to find the right words of what would constitute a good confident booster.
There are Oracle cards that do this for you.
So if you go on Amazon and you look up Oracle, O-R-A-C-L-E.
Thank you.
Is it spelled the way you like to spell it or is it different?
So if you go on Amazon and do that, you look up Oracle cards and they have different ones.
So maybe you're not saying the same one every day, but it's different ones.
I have one from Gabby Bernstein who is a motivational and intuitive speaker and it's all different
beautiful artwork of the moon with a universe affirmation or something that can kind of
set my day as I go.
So when I wake up, I pull a random card, I read it and it's usually like trust in the
universe.
Everything's going to be fine.
It's going to be a wonderful day like stuff like that.
But you can really narrow it down to what speaks to you.
I got Melody animal cards.
Oh my God.
I know.
I have these amazing animals that have a different spiritual meeting and you pull a card.
I have them as well, which is why she wanted them.
She brings them on every trip we go to.
Good.
She's going to be a great friend.
So you pick your spirit animal and then maybe you go around your day and truly this is going
to sound ridiculous, but you're like, yeah, I am an eagle.
I can do this, whatever it is.
It's the mindset that you're giving yourself.
So they have an article card from basically anything and everything.
And if you need just something to look at or something to give you the creativity of
how you want to say things, it's there for you.
So I highly recommend doing that.
It's a really good way to start the day.
If you have children, it's a really good day.
Okay.
Who wants to pull the card today?
Oh, Melody loves it.
Pull the card.
That's how we're all starting the day.
You know?
She's always like, oh, mom.
I can't go to school yet.
I have to go find out what my spirit animal is for the day.
I'm like, I don't think there's a parenting book that's going to help you with that.
Run, hurry up.
You're going to be late.
God damn it, Victoria.
She's like, you can't see me.
I'm a sloth, mom.
I picked the sloth card, which really probably means that you are just preserving doing things
slowly and how nothing needs to be a rush.
You know, there's spirituality is everywhere.
Well, we hoped you like those self care on a budget and almost all of them.
Guess what?
We're free.
Yeah.
They're just daily things you can do to instantly boost your mood, feel good, and that's all
self care is.
It does not need to cost a lot of money.
It doesn't need to cost any money.
But now we have a game.
Self care is all about having fun in your life.
And this is called self care me, Bay.
What what self care me, Bay?
Because another form of self care is just hanging out with your friends doing nothing.
My favorite type of self care is being with my friends in my pajamas, watching a movie
or just sitting around talking and doing absolutely nothing.
It does not have to be like, let's go out to dinner.
Let's do, you know, it doesn't have to be that.
And I actually don't.
That's not my favorite kind.
What we do more often is game night, game night.
I love that.
And what's better than sitting around the table asking your friends or your family some
like questions, silly questions, questions that you want to know.
It creates conversation.
It is absolutely free and it's self care may Bay.
Oh, because I forgot to say the self care may Bay.
Nope.
Doesn't make it better.
Didn't actually change anything.
All right, well, Victoria doesn't know about this as usual.
So I'm going to ask her questions and it's rapid fire.
And she's not great at this, but in 2024, we're going to teach her how to be quicker
answering questions.
I'm a water sign, so fires not really my thing.
God.
All right, Victoria, have you ever met anyone famous?
Yes.
Tell us.
Oh, I was doing it fast.
Constantine.
Oh my God.
Remember?
Yeah.
From American Idol.
Yeah.
Rock of Ages.
He was in Rock of Ages and we all got a picture with him afterwards and it was awesome.
Yeah.
That was pretty famous.
Okay.
We might not already know this.
What's your latest Netflix or Hulu or Amazon Prime binge?
What's your future?
Oh, I just thought of so many more famous people I met.
Oh, okay.
Tell us.
Joey Fatone.
Oh my God.
Yes.
Remember?
From NSYNC.
Nell Carter.
Norm Lewis, but we know him.
David Hyde Pierce.
I met him in the Frasier.
Hank Azaria.
I know.
He was so nice.
They were going to a Super Bowl party.
I met Jane Krakowski.
Did you meet Matthew Morrison?
Yes.
He's, but people that aren't into Broadway or he was on Glee.
He was on Glee.
Yeah, yeah.
Might not know him.
I met Jane Krakowski with Norm Lewis.
I didn't know that at a bar.
Bill Murray.
You met Bill Murray?
I did when I was like 13.
Oh wow.
He was very rude.
I've heard that about him.
Yeah, he was not nice.
That's a shame.
Joey Fatone.
That's a big one.
Yeah, we met him in the dressing room.
The dressing room.
Of Hairstory.
Yep.
Because our old babysitter, Marissa Jerr-Winokker, the original Broadway Hairstory.
Anyway, so what's your favorite Netflix Hulu Amazon Prime binge right now?
I mean, my go-to is always New Girl.
That's your binge?
Like you can watch it all.
Isn't a binge as if you watch?
I feel like you should just say Abbot Elementary right now.
Well, I finished it.
Oh.
Yes, Abbot Elementary is more new and current, but when in doubt, I put on New Girl.
Whatever.
These are your answers, not mine.
I don't care.
What was one of your favorite songs in high school?
Either Stacy or Rico or Gavin DeGraw.
Yes.
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately.
I really want for it there.
Or Stacy or Rico.
Yeah.
I can't get out of bed today.
I'll get you off my mind.
Look her up.
I agree.
Have you been anywhere new lately that you've never been before?
We go two places.
So I'm going to answer that for you.
No, you have not.
It's unfortunate.
What's something you want to do in the next year that you've never done before?
Well, according to my vision board, I have lots of pictures of mountains and beaches
and I think Stonehenge is in there.
I want to travel.
Yeah.
And not that I...
Do you want to go to Italy?
I mean, yes, I have been to Italy before.
Oh, okay.
I spent six weeks doing a summer semester in college in Italy, but it was so amazing
that I would go back to Italy.
I just want to travel more and it doesn't have to be international.
It could just be domestic flights anywhere, but you do need to travel and that's one
of my goals for you this year.
Seen anything lately that made you smile?
Oh my God.
You should see the side eye she just gave me.
Answer it honestly.
Yes.
See, anything or anyone can I answer with a person?
What?
It's your game, whatever you want.
Oh, we know that that's not a real rule.
Yes, I take a walk with pepper every single day and I'm always finding things that make
me smile.
It's usually something that she does or maybe it's honest to God, it's a flower.
I know what I sound like.
However, this morning I had to walk her early because it's about to storm and be gross all
day.
There is a guy that works for the township here where I live and I love him and he's
just the most friendliest guy ever and every time he drives by or he's around, which is
where he works is like two steps away from my house.
He hunks the horn, he rolls his window down, we have a small chat and it's something that
just like I made him cookies for Christmas.
He's the nicest guy in the world and it's always silly little things like we have inside
jokes now with talking or just through honking.
Well, I don't have a, I'm walking so I'm not like Hong Kong back to him.
That would be special but no, like talking and I met him and had like even more of a
conversation one day, voting day and his wife is on the board of morning and like he's just
the nicest man.
We usually talk about how he's ready to retire.
So it's a fun little thing.
Yeah, it makes me smile.
He's the nicest guy.
What is your absolute favorite recipe to make?
Okay, it's a Mediterranean dish.
Oh gosh, I should have asked this sooner.
Make it really simple.
It's couscous, roasted red peppers, yeah, sugar snap peas, goat cheese.
Sometimes I do honey goat cheese, pesto and raw like red onion or maybe scallions.
It depends on what I have that day.
But you put it all together and you've had it.
It's one of my favorite things that you make.
I think it's the goat cheese.
I think that's really what does it to be honest with you.
Yeah, but it's I think it's all of it together and it's oh and either shrimp or yeah, it
used to be like a the chicken sausage flavored ones like a spicy chicken sausage.
It is so good.
Yeah, it's really good.
And she makes it every year down the shore.
So easy.
Yeah.
It's like a yeah, it's so easy.
What is your least favorite household chore?
Crush in it.
I love cleaning.
When I'm in the zone, when I'm like I need to clean, I want to clean.
I could clean for 24 hours straight and scrub the carpets and do all the things.
But I think it's folding laundry.
It's not the act of laundry.
It's the folding part.
You can just do what I do and clean it and just stuff it in drawers.
You don't have to fold it if you don't want.
Yeah, I can't do that.
I don't know why Victoria and I didn't do well living with each other.
I can't do that.
Oh my God.
All I did was clean in that apartment and she was like, bye, go and just stay at Andrews.
I'll be back to make more dirt later.
Yeah, good.
I like laundry, but it moves from my chair to my bed to my chair to my bed.
It takes forever to fold and I end up picking from it that then the laundry is gone.
Yes.
But I haven't folded it.
But you haven't folded it.
Yeah, that's like part of the cycle.
Yeah.
All right, last one.
Sword, yeah, last one.
If you want a free all expense paid trip anywhere in the world and you could leave tomorrow,
where would you go?
Ireland, Greece, Australia, Iceland, Norway, Sweden, Amsterdam.
Oh, well, if it's all expenses paid, you might as well take advantage of it.
Yeah.
No, I think they're the top ones.
I have a list.
I want to go to Italy.
That's like my number.
Well, I want to go to Disney World.
Nope, never on the list.
I want to go to Italy.
I want to take the kids to Italy.
It's amazing.
Victoria is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I thought this was an adult trip.
All expense.
Hold on.
What's at the Pasitano Coast?
Am I saying that right?
Yeah.
I don't know.
What are you trying to say?
Pasitano Coast, the beach of Italy where White Lotus was filmed.
Oh, Pasitano.
I don't know.
I went to Cinque Terre.
Yeah, you did.
Is that near that?
I don't know.
Yeah.
You kidding?
I don't know how to get home from your house.
You think I know what's close to the Pasitano Coast?
Yeah, you won.
She's hitting the shelves on my wall.
You won, but isn't it fun to sit around a table asking everybody questions, questions
that you might know the answers to?
Oh, I want to go to Canada too.
Okay, no.
The game is over.
I want to go to Canada and I want to go to Niagara Falls and I want to go to Yellowstone
National Park.
I want to go to Niagara Falls.
You can go with her.
I know.
I think we're going to go without you.
Oh, whoa.
You guys got tattoos without me.
Fact.
I mean, I'll calm if she's paying.
You won.
This was a form of self-care.
This podcast recording every week has turned into, I think, a self-care habit that I forced.
However, that I forced, we ended up finding a routine of recording on Tuesday mornings.
Just happens to work.
It's like whatever we're talking about, it's the fun hour of Tuesday.
Yes.
For sure.
Even if it's more of a serious talk or whatever, because we always find, if you can find fun
in any moment, in any situation that allows fun, listen, it's fun.
I can find the humor in any awkward situation you throw at me and I enjoy that.
And honestly, we'll walk in here, maybe not in the best mood.
Maybe we don't always want to sit down and talk.
In minutes, we're laughing and sometimes that's what everybody needs.
That's true.
A little bit of a force or not a force.
It's not a force, a push.
A little bit of a push because people are so scared of stopping to have a good time because
they don't want to.
We don't have time for that.
We got to hustle.
I know.
I'm a hustler, baby.
First one in 2024.
And stopping to laugh and have fun is just not on the to-do list.
But we make it on our Tuesday to-do list and then we don't do or laugh again until the
following Tuesday.
That's not true.
Well, Victoria sits and edits this.
So she laughs all week long.
Oh, it's definitely not laughter that I'm feeling.
I don't want to listen to your voice anymore after that.
Our tip for you today is to try some of these self-care on a budget, no budget, budget-friendly
self-care tips.
Honestly.
And look at the length that we're attaching in the show notes because there are so many
more.
We kind of put a few of them together to get them all in.
But there's so many and they're so good and there are some that might be just perfect
for what you need right now as small as it is.
Maybe it's not a daily thing.
Maybe it's a weekly thing, but you'll see as the weeks go by, you're just feeling better,
feeling brighter and feeling like you have more time to do stuff for yourself, which
is the whole point.
So we hope that you found a little bit of good with this and something resonated.
And we hope that you remember that you are always fit to be real and always allowed to
be a little extra.
For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and
educational purposes only.
We are not healthcare professionals.
For all of your health, wellness, fitness and self-care needs, please refer to the medical
professional in your life.
Your primary care physician, your therapist, a certified coach, whoever it may be.
And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to do.
Okay?
Okay, bye.