1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000 Welcome to Fit to Be Real. 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,000 And a little extra. 3 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,000 We have our first two-potta. 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,000 A two-potta. 5 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,000 A two-potta. 6 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,000 And both of them are finishing out December. 7 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,000 2023. 8 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,000 So crazy. 9 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:26,000 So our part one is taking a look back at what you set for yourself for 2023. 10 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:33,000 And if you didn't achieve the goals that you have written out for the year, 11 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,000 we're going to help you be okay with that. 12 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,000 And if you didn't write them out and you just had those goals in your head 13 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:43,000 and you didn't achieve those as well, we're going to talk about that too. 14 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,000 And then part two, which you should tune into, 15 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:52,000 is setting intentions and goals for the new year and how to properly do it so you are successful. 16 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,000 Yeah. 17 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:58,000 Because I think that's the most important part is setting yourself up for success instead of failure. 18 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,000 And we're going to talk about that. 19 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,000 I do it wrong every year. 20 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,000 Same's ease. 21 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:11,000 I'm Victoria. 22 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,000 Hey guys, I'm Carly. 23 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,000 Did you write goals down? 24 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000 Do you ever? 25 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,000 Do I write anything down? 26 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,000 I know, but I thought this was different. 27 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:24,000 No, I have things in my head, but I don't know. 28 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000 I don't write them down. 29 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:36,000 Maybe that's why they don't work out because I don't put them into the universe through my written word. 30 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:40,000 There's so much to unpack there. 31 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,000 I'm hit or miss. 32 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:47,000 You know how we always had journals and mom always gave us journals every year? 33 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,000 I don't probably only have like five pages filled out in every single one of them. 34 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,000 Same, but that's, it's wrong. 35 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,000 I know. 36 00:01:54,000 --> 00:02:01,000 So randomly, I think I would write stuff down and I think my majority of my goal setting is in my head. 37 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,000 Yeah, because it's not good. 38 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,000 Just like what is that the saying or the statistic? 39 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:14,000 It's not a saying that 80% of the people that make new year's resolutions fail by February. 40 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:19,000 80% because they're not doing it correctly and maybe they're not writing it down. 41 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,000 What if that 80% wrote it down? 42 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,000 Then they might get past February. 43 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:29,000 I'm sorry, I can't really get over the hair that's coming out of your top knot. 44 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,000 You look like Poppy. 45 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,000 Wait, I know exactly what it looks like to. 46 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,000 But it's a little more manic. 47 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:40,000 I have no goals or intentions to fix that in 2024. 48 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:46,000 So you have this to look at for the rest of your life. 49 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,000 Let's change that. 50 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,000 Okay. 51 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,000 Okay. 52 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,000 Okay. 53 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,000 Get your head in the game. 54 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,000 Get your head in the game. 55 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,000 Get your head in the game. 56 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,000 No, we're not studying. 57 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:03,000 That's an actual song. 58 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:09,000 All of everything we're going to say in the next two episodes will have proper articles for you to 59 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,000 dive even deeper. 60 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:17,000 We always say it, but in particular for this conversation, you really should check them out. 61 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:25,000 But there's a lot of information and there's a lot of just fuller ways to kind of visualize and take it in 62 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,000 if you are somebody that likes to really read things. 63 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:33,000 Well, what she's trying to say is that she made me do a lot of research pre-episode. 64 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,000 I did. 65 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:40,000 I sent you the articles that I found and she made nine pages of notes. 66 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,000 So I did my research. 67 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,000 Nine. 68 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,000 That's very un-2022 of me. 69 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,000 Very 2023 of me. 70 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,000 Well, that was a very long time ago. 71 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,000 That's 2022. 72 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,000 Wait, I just saw this as a sidebar. 73 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,000 Sorry. 74 00:03:53,000 --> 00:04:00,000 That somebody said, we're still trying to get over 2019, not realizing that was five years ago. 75 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,000 No. 76 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,000 It was yesterday to me. 77 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,000 I'm still in 2019. 78 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,000 I think I stopped at 2019. 79 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,000 I am not ready for that to be five years ago. 80 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,000 But 2020 also felt like 10 years. 81 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,000 That's what I mean. 82 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:21,000 Like the whole time between 2019 and now feels like a lifetime and also feels like yesterday. 83 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:25,000 It's very, it's a mind game to think about. 84 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,000 Yeah. 85 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:30,000 We lost five years of our lives, but also so much happened in the past five years. 86 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:34,000 I saw that on Instagram on the insta and I... 87 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,000 How did that make you laugh? 88 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:41,000 I'm trying to stay relevant here with the kids. 89 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,000 And I just couldn't believe that that was five years ago. 90 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:48,000 You ever do that thing where you're like, I'm at this age or it's this year and I've done nothing. 91 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,000 And then you go back and think about everything. 92 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,000 I'm like, ooh, that was a lot. 93 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,000 Yeah. 94 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,000 A lot of things happened. 95 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,000 I think it did a lot. 96 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,000 I wrote that down actually. 97 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,000 Maybe what we're going to talk about too in a little bit. 98 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,000 Clearly you didn't write it down. 99 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,000 So you didn't read the research that I read. 100 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:09,000 The best is there was an article with eight things and Carly was like, oh no, I only did seven. 101 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,000 I only read seven. 102 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,000 I was like, great. 103 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,000 That's great. 104 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,000 I like your research. 105 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:21,000 So to actually properly start here, if you wrote things down or if you didn't write things down, 106 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:29,000 the first thing to do is try to remember, I guess that would be not written in an article. 107 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:33,000 Try to remember what your goals that you set for 2023 were. 108 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000 And did you accomplish them? 109 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,000 Yeah. 110 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:40,000 Did you accomplish any of them, like one or all or whatever it was? 111 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,000 Or part or part or maybe a, maybe it was just a part of it. 112 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:49,000 Like you partly you made it halfway to the goal and then why did you not make it the other halfway? 113 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,000 Right. 114 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,000 So first, to acknowledge what the goal was, okay, that's step one. 115 00:05:53,000 --> 00:06:00,000 And then step two is to the ones that you did not achieve and did not feel successful with. 116 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,000 Find out the why. 117 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,000 Figure out the reason as to why you didn't. 118 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,000 And there's a lot of ways to kind of break that down. 119 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:18,000 Before we get into that, I, in the research, I was reading that people are more receptive these days to talk about their failures than they ever were. 120 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:22,000 Like failing is not taboo anymore. 121 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,000 Everybody fails. 122 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:29,000 And I think that was really interesting to me that people are okay with talking about their, more business and not personal though. 123 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,000 That was very important. 124 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:38,000 They're receptive to talking about business failures rather than personal failures because that's more personal. 125 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:46,000 But we're okay talking about them because we are seeing, maybe it's because of social media, that everybody fails. 126 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,000 Yeah. 127 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,000 And it's okay. 128 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,000 Yeah. 129 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,000 But I thought that was really interesting. 130 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,000 Yeah. 131 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,000 I don't know the reasoning behind that. 132 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:57,000 I would venture to say social media is that which there are some good things to social media. 133 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,000 But people have been failing forever. 134 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,000 I know. 135 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,000 But I think now more people are openly talking about it. 136 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,000 Like it was embarrassing to fail. 137 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:12,000 But why is it okay to talk about you going bankrupt but not you failed a relationship? 138 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,000 I don't know. 139 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,000 No, I don't know. 140 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,000 And that's what it was saying. 141 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,000 Yeah. 142 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,000 I didn't talk about personal failures. 143 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:22,000 Like I didn't lose weight this year when I said I wanted to or a relationship not working out or something like that. 144 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000 Yeah. 145 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,000 Why is that embarrassing? 146 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,000 But it's, I know. 147 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,000 I don't know. 148 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:35,000 But also on the flip side of that, I was, it was, you know, saying the people that talk about it the most are the people that have succeeded ultimately. 149 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,000 Afterwards. 150 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,000 Yeah. 151 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:42,000 So like, yeah, of course people are okay with talking about failures because they have since succeeded. 152 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000 But there's a reason why. 153 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,000 Right. 154 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,000 Because they've looked into the failure in a different way and we're going to dive into that too. 155 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:52,000 So go back, come back, come back. 156 00:07:52,000 --> 00:08:00,000 You find out the reason as to why you didn't achieve the goal and there are two ways to kind of break it down. 157 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,000 Two factors, I should say. 158 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:09,000 The first factor is what were the things that you could control about achieving or not achieving said goal. 159 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:18,000 And then the second factor is what were the factors that you could not control that were out of your hands and had nothing to do with your actions or behaviors. 160 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:24,000 That's how you break down the why instead of being like, whatever I failed, I'll just set it again this year. 161 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,000 Or like, I don't know why I don't understand. 162 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,000 Right. 163 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000 I tried. 164 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,000 Right, right. 165 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,000 The, the put your head in the hole. 166 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,000 What's that? 167 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,000 Why do I always put your head in the sand? 168 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,000 Head in the sand. 169 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,000 Head in the sand or just like blaming everything else. 170 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,000 Put your head in the hole. 171 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,000 Just put your head in the hole. 172 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,000 Just get it in there. 173 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:46,000 So do you abandon the goal? 174 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:50,000 Once you figure out the factors you can and can't control, do you abandon it? 175 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:56,000 Do you decide this isn't something that you actually want to achieve, which is a big part of it? 176 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,000 I think we set goals that we don't really actually want. 177 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:05,000 But it's what people want us to achieve or it's what everybody else is achieving. 178 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,000 So I should want to achieve this. 179 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,000 Exactly. 180 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:13,000 I wrote down and I started and wanted to highlight it, but I didn't have a highlighter. 181 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000 That's aggressive. 182 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,000 That is that abandoning a goal takes guts. 183 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,000 It really does. 184 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:22,000 Well, that because you're admitting you're failing at something. 185 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,000 Right. 186 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:29,000 And it really takes guts and then it takes guts to relook at the abandon or the jumping 187 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,000 ship. 188 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,000 And if other people are involved in that goal, right? 189 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:38,000 Right, having to explain or go back and figure it all out. 190 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,000 But abandoning a goal does take guts. 191 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:45,000 You really have to want the goal or really not want the goal. 192 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,000 And it was just something that somebody wanted for you. 193 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:53,000 I think abandoning a goal that involves other people is easier to do than abandoning for 194 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:59,000 yourself because with other people, you can do that, put your game face on, make reasons 195 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:04,000 to why it's okay that you're abandoning it and or changing it. 196 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:09,000 And yes, you can say sorry and be a little upset about it. 197 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:16,000 You don't have to fully fake it, but you can kind of twist it when it's yourself and you're 198 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,360 abandoning a goal that you set for yourself and you are. 199 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,000 It's high just disappointment. 200 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,000 Yeah. 201 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000 And you're disappointed in yourself. 202 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,000 And that I think weighs heavier. 203 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:28,000 And a lot of the times or in my goals in the past lying to myself or. 204 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,000 Right. 205 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,000 Like you can lie to other people. 206 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,000 Yeah. 207 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,000 You can lie to yourself. 208 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,000 That's true. 209 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,000 Yeah. 210 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,000 Yeah. 211 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,000 So it is. 212 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,000 It takes guts. 213 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,000 I wrote that down. 214 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,000 Allow yourself to let go. 215 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,000 Yeah. 216 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,000 Let it go. 217 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,000 You're a big, you're a big let it goer. 218 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,000 Let it go. 219 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,000 Let it go. 220 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,000 Let it go. 221 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000 Let it go. 222 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,000 Let it go. 223 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000 Let it go. 224 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,000 But yeah. 225 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,000 Okay. 226 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,000 So wait, wait, let me piggyback off that. 227 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,000 I didn't say anything. 228 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,000 Okay. 229 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,000 No, that you have to let it go because I did write that down too. 230 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000 And it without letting it go. 231 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:10,000 That goal that you half let go half not lingers and it stifles your productivity for the next 232 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,000 goal because you sort of let it go. 233 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,000 But you're like, maybe I'll do it again or maybe I'll do it a different way, but halfway 234 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,000 and it lingers. 235 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,000 And that is why you have to like basically cut the cord. 236 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,000 Cut the cord on the goal. 237 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,000 If the goal is not for you. 238 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,000 Abandoned. 239 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,000 Jump ship. 240 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:31,000 Whatever you want to call it, but if you don't knock it off, it will be following you in 241 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,000 ways that you don't want it to. 242 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,000 Like how you said, knock it off. 243 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,000 Knock it off. 244 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,000 Everything was great, but that was particularly top notch. 245 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,000 And abandoned such a negative word. 246 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,000 It is. 247 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,000 It sounds negative. 248 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,000 It's not. 249 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000 It's not. 250 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,000 It's not. 251 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,500 You're walking away from something that doesn't resonate with you anymore is how I like to 252 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,000 think about it. 253 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,000 And it's no K word. 254 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,000 It's okay. 255 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,000 Yeah. 256 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:59,360 But if you are going to abandon a goal that you probably should, if you have the thoughts 257 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,000 that you might want to, you probably should. 258 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:07,000 What I what I really took away from what I saw was that you shouldn't put. 259 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,000 Hold on. 260 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,000 Let me think about it. 261 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:13,800 You shouldn't put blame on yourself or for others or on others, whatever, even if the 262 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:17,640 factors were out of your control and you just don't want to do it anymore. 263 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,120 You don't put blame on it. 264 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:24,640 You take it as a time to kind of reflect and then reorganize to make it to kind of make 265 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,240 that abandonment negativity a positive. 266 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,120 Re-evaluate it almost reevaluate it. 267 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,120 Yes. 268 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:38,960 And then you can kind of make a new goal that you actually want to do and actually like, 269 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:42,320 I agree. 270 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:49,240 You and that little rat tail just had nodded at me. 271 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,600 I also want to say I do like the word goal. 272 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,240 I do because it's something to strive for. 273 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,920 I feel like you're going to say, but you don't. 274 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,680 But I also like calling it an intention. 275 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:02,680 Why are you laughing at me? 276 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,240 Because I thought you were going to say Nintendo for some reason. 277 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,080 I love Nintendo. 278 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:12,160 I'm setting new in Nintendo this year. 279 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,920 Because I fail at those two. 280 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,520 I'm not great. 281 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:16,920 Never gets to level two. 282 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:24,360 No, intentions because it just, I feel like it puts a different spin on if you don't achieve 283 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:28,840 the intention that you set on something, it doesn't feel as much like a failure. 284 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:29,840 It's really a play on words. 285 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:30,840 It is. 286 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:31,840 I think it is too. 287 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:36,680 And I think that's a personal preference because you are very intention focused. 288 00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:38,320 That's just the kind of person you are. 289 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,960 That's just the kind of person you are. 290 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,840 I am very goal challenge focused. 291 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:49,720 I need the finish line drawn out for me so that I can meet that goal. 292 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,000 And here's the problem with both of us. 293 00:13:52,000 --> 00:14:00,200 My intentions, I'm not that I'm okay, but I could fall a little bit harder. 294 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:04,320 But because it's an intention, I'm a little nicer to myself if I don't get it. 295 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:06,960 You beat yourself up if you do not achieve it. 296 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:11,520 So there is extremes to both sides and all sides of everything is basically what I'm 297 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,520 putting out there. 298 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:13,520 Yeah. 299 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,520 Yeah. 300 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:18,400 No, but that is interesting because I think some people would like to call it an intention 301 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,080 more than a goal. 302 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,080 And that's okay. 303 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,960 And some people would like to call it goal more than it just, it's a personal preference. 304 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,680 We could call it a intention. 305 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:32,720 A goal engine. 306 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,720 Into goal. 307 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:39,880 Please don't turn this off. 308 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:40,880 It's two parts. 309 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:41,880 It'll get better. 310 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,440 It'll get so much better. 311 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,840 We can't promise that. 312 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:52,000 We have now decided that we are going to abandon a goal that we didn't achieve. 313 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,000 Right? 314 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,680 I'm going to let it go. 315 00:14:54,680 --> 00:15:02,160 And as easy as that is to say, we have to wrap our heads with or wrap our heads around 316 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,160 coming to terms with failing. 317 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,160 Right. 318 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,160 That's really what it is. 319 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:10,800 We have failed at trying to do something for an entire year and we didn't do it. 320 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,680 So there's two ways to approach that. 321 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:19,280 And one is not really how we want to do it. 322 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:20,280 Okay. 323 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:24,360 And one is how we would strive or hope to do it. 324 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,760 However, the first one is what we all do. 325 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:27,760 What? 326 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:34,040 It is going to discouraging talk and deprecating talk about ourselves as to why we didn't 327 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,720 achieve it, how horrible are we, what the heck did you do all year long? 328 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:41,240 You're so lazy, whatever it is, depending on what the goal is, of course, but it's all 329 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,520 negative talk and it's usually bashing ourselves. 330 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:51,320 And what that does is that goes into an overthinking brain and an overdrive of kind of spiking, 331 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:56,120 I would say anxiety, maybe even depression, because you're just beating yourself up over 332 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,120 something. 333 00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:01,880 The second way to do it is to just accept that you have failed, which is so hard to 334 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:02,880 do. 335 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:06,240 It's something that you say all the time, just accept it and move on. 336 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,760 I know, but that doesn't mean I'm good at it. 337 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:08,760 I know. 338 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:09,760 I say it, that doesn't mean I can do it. 339 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,760 But what did we always say? 340 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:14,640 The more you say something, the more you're apt to do it. 341 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,840 And it's just going to become second nature to you. 342 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,960 And honestly, Victoria tells me to accept things and move on every single day. 343 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:24,200 Oh my God, it's like, come on, you accept change, you accept money. 344 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,920 I don't mean change, I mean coins. 345 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:27,920 Coins. 346 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,720 Because I do not accept change. 347 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,240 Coins is a part of the process. 348 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:38,640 So if you can try to wrap your head around accepting the failure, the way to do that is 349 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,080 to just reformulate it. 350 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,480 How can I make it different? 351 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,440 How can I change the plan? 352 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,920 And how can I move on from there? 353 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:50,920 And then it's not such a, what was me, hate myself, pity party. 354 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:51,920 Negative. 355 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,240 Which is the lingering thing you were talking about. 356 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,240 Negative. 357 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,920 We don't want negative. 358 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:05,080 She crossed her eyes, keep it positive as you slap her to the floor. 359 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,600 Okay, it's legally blind. 360 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:08,600 It's legally blind. 361 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,600 It's okay, mom. 362 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,600 It's okay, mom. 363 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,600 It's legally blind. 364 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:12,600 It's a musical. 365 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,960 Nothing bad happens in musicals. 366 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:20,200 We're going to go through the steps on how to deal with not achieving the goals. 367 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,720 Number one, do an autopsy. 368 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:23,720 I love this description. 369 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:24,720 It's very true crime. 370 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:25,720 It is. 371 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:30,560 I feel very doctor like, do an autopsy because I love the science behind things. 372 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:31,560 Now I love research. 373 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,680 You don't mean doctor. 374 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,680 You mean coroner. 375 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:36,680 Oh, yes. 376 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:37,680 Right? 377 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:38,680 Yeah. 378 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,680 Like the person who does the autopsy? 379 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:40,680 Yeah. 380 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,560 Well, Justin texted me the other day and was like, I'm very nervous to listen to your science 381 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,680 behind something. 382 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,840 And then when I was right, he said, nobody likes it. 383 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:48,840 No, at all. 384 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,800 That was yesterday and it was to both of us. 385 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,280 And that's almost how our conversation went. 386 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,480 Ask yourself the questions. 387 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:57,800 What derailed it? 388 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,680 What in your goal did not go the way you wanted to? 389 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,280 What was an unexpected incident? 390 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:07,600 What was an incident that you knew was coming, but you didn't know how to get around it? 391 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:13,120 You have to look back at the entire process and really dissect from the top down. 392 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,120 What happened? 393 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:15,120 Yeah, it's finding the why. 394 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,120 Yeah. 395 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:17,120 Like why did it happen? 396 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:18,440 Like, where did you fall short? 397 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:19,440 Why didn't you succeed? 398 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:20,920 I mean, it's a it's a big one. 399 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,600 That's why you got to do the autopsy. 400 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:27,800 You got to do the whole thing, the whole process, but you really have to dissect it, you know, 401 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,480 goal by goal, line by line. 402 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:30,600 Why didn't it work out? 403 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,520 Number two, investigate. 404 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,160 What is it you're really working towards? 405 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,880 Do you feel like a detective? 406 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:42,680 Yes, I feel like I'm on a true crime podcast and I am just morbidly loving this morbid 407 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:43,680 sponsor us. 408 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:44,680 We love you morbid. 409 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,840 But anyway, what is it you're really trying to work towards? 410 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:55,080 You might not even know because goals are sometimes so vague, you have no idea what your final 411 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,600 end goal really is. 412 00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:00,080 Well, this could be where you discover if you even wanted that goal or not. 413 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,080 Exactly. 414 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,000 Like you really have to reevaluate it. 415 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,040 Why did you set it to begin with? 416 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,160 Is it something you wanted? 417 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,920 Is it something somebody wanted for you? 418 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:13,080 Like you have to really, as Victoria would say, deep dive. 419 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:14,080 Dive deep. 420 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,080 Yeah. 421 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,080 Oh, that's very different. 422 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,080 I feel like it is. 423 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,440 I don't know why, but I feel like it is. 424 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,400 And number three, get feedback. 425 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:25,400 Ask somebody. 426 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,400 Ask your hard one. 427 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,320 It is because you know, well, you all know us. 428 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,440 I don't like to ask for help. 429 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,160 Victoria is a little better about it than I do. 430 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:33,920 So I would not ask for feedback. 431 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,000 I would be like, figure it out yourself. 432 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,000 You can do this. 433 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,200 So that's a hard one. 434 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,200 That's a really hard one. 435 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,760 Well, that's a why as to why you fail. 436 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:42,760 Boo. 437 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,080 It's true though. 438 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,800 But it's not just like get feedback from your friends. 439 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:48,800 It's no. 440 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,680 If you have a goal that someone else has already achieved for themselves, you go and you get 441 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:53,680 advice. 442 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,920 You go, hey, how did you do it? 443 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,280 It's not going to work out the same way. 444 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,280 Right. 445 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,280 Everybody's different. 446 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,280 But like, how did you do it? 447 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:04,400 And, and why do you think I'm struggling or stuck at this one part? 448 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,040 And maybe there's some insight there. 449 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:10,120 Are you talking to people actually can be a very beneficial thing? 450 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,120 Yeah. 451 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:15,480 I have this mindset that like I can just do it all on my own. 452 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,360 But what I always have to remember is somebody did it better than me and somebody did it 453 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:21,960 worse than me and I have to learn from both of them. 454 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:22,960 Oh, yeah. 455 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:28,320 Like, and there's so much, there's just so much out there that is information is going 456 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,440 unused, but you have to ask for it. 457 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,440 It's not going to just be emailed to you one day. 458 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:36,160 Like the, you know, all the secrets to your success. 459 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,720 Like you have to go find it. 460 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:38,720 You have to ask. 461 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,720 From the Illuminati. 462 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:40,720 Yeah. 463 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:41,720 Yeah. 464 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,960 I'm still waiting for that email. 465 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:44,960 I know they're real. 466 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,160 I know they're out there. 467 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,160 Let me know. 468 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,160 I'll email you. 469 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,160 Yeah. 470 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:55,640 Oh, please. 471 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,400 This is a four part thing and Carly only has three written down. 472 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,440 I only liked three. 473 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,440 What was the fourth? 474 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,440 The fourth one is to remind yourself of what you learned. 475 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:07,440 Oh, yeah. 476 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:08,840 You didn't fail. 477 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,200 You just, you just didn't meet your goal. 478 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,200 Yes. 479 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,200 I wrote it down. 480 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,200 Very good. 481 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,200 You didn't hit the mark. 482 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,200 Okay. 483 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,200 Didn't hit the mark. 484 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,400 You just, you've gained practice, experience, knowledge, growth. 485 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,800 It's basically everything that you learn from failure. 486 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:24,880 It's just a lesson. 487 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:30,600 And if you can switch your brain to remember that and to think of it that way, then it won't 488 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:35,800 leave you in that dark place or that self deprecating places as long because every 489 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,320 failure is a step in the right direction. 490 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:39,320 Yeah. 491 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,960 And you learned something that you didn't know before, even if the goal did not work 492 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:47,800 out, you can use what you've learned to figure out another path. 493 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,880 And you have to stop focusing on what you didn't do or what you didn't achieve and focus 494 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,360 on all the little ways that you did achieve it. 495 00:21:55,360 --> 00:22:00,640 Or get close to it or all the positive ways, positive things that you've learned and focus 496 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,280 on that instead of all the negative. 497 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:10,240 If you choose to abandon something that you've set before, that is a step in the right direction. 498 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,920 That's a positive because now you're going to focus on something you actually will achieve 499 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:19,080 and want to achieve and life will just feel so much better about that because you're not 500 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,960 going to be like waking up daily and here we go again. 501 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:25,320 I have to do this thing that I don't really want to do. 502 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:30,920 So that in and of itself is a part of the growth in the lesson out of failure. 503 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:36,840 Now I say all of this and if losing weight is your goal, while you're eating pizza or 504 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:41,440 donuts, you can't be like, this is a step in the right direction. 505 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,960 That's not necessarily and I'm really saying that for myself. 506 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,440 Next time you fail, it's okay. 507 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,360 No, put the pizza down. 508 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:51,280 But this is more of like the bigger picture. 509 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:52,280 Yeah. 510 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:53,280 Yeah. 511 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,280 Yeah. 512 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,280 Right. 513 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,280 Those little daily failures. 514 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:57,280 Man. 515 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:58,280 Man. 516 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:05,960 Yes, I think the wise are the most important part of setting goals and figuring out when 517 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:06,960 they fail. 518 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:07,960 Yeah. 519 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:12,960 Also, failure is a negative word, but I think everybody has to fail because it makes the 520 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:16,320 success just that much sweeter. 521 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,320 I'm embarrassed. 522 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,320 You just said that. 523 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:19,320 It does though. 524 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,320 It's like an embarrassment. 525 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,520 Who just wants to succeed on the first try every time? 526 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,040 How boring of a life would that be? 527 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,280 You got to fail. 528 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:27,280 You got to fail. 529 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,280 What did you learn? 530 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:32,960 Didn't we just have a conversation that when you were little, if you had to work for it, 531 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,440 you were born interested? 532 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:35,440 Yeah. 533 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:36,440 Yeah. 534 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:37,940 I was young and stupid. 535 00:23:37,940 --> 00:23:41,840 And now I'm smart and old and I've learned. 536 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:42,840 You don't get that title yet. 537 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:50,120 Through my failures that it is okay to fail because you get back up again. 538 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:51,120 What movies are from? 539 00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:52,120 It's got to be Trolls. 540 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:53,120 Yes. 541 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,600 I will get back up again. 542 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:56,600 The first one. 543 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:57,600 The best one. 544 00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:58,600 Got it. 545 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,720 But yeah, if you don't fall, you can't get back up. 546 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:02,720 Sidebar. 547 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:07,600 I did fall and I happened to fall next to Carly and she was like, get up. 548 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,600 Get up. 549 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:09,600 You're embarrassing me. 550 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:10,600 Two times. 551 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,320 So there's different ways you can actually get up. 552 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,600 Two times this happened. 553 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:18,120 Once when she broke her hip on the side of the road in Ocean City and I was like, get 554 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,120 up. 555 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:20,120 You're embarrassing. 556 00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:21,120 I'm talking about that one. 557 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:24,240 I am also talking about when you broke your ribs and fell down my step and punctured your 558 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:28,080 hip along and little Billy said you were crying and I was like, she'll get over it. 559 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:29,880 Tell her to get up. 560 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:35,600 The actual quote is, yeah, yeah, it's kind of like a baby. 561 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,720 And I rolled my eyes and went back to the zoom. 562 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,400 What are you going to say to the zoom? 563 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,000 No, the zoom that we were on. 564 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,520 I was like, listen, but she got up. 565 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:52,320 It's one of those things unless you are just the most evolved and grown person, it is the 566 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:56,440 hardest thing to do is to be sitting in a moment of failure and be like, I'm going to 567 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:57,440 be okay. 568 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,040 I'm going to get up from this. 569 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,040 This is how I'm going to do it. 570 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,840 I'm going to accept this right now. 571 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,520 It takes time to get into that acceptance stage. 572 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:08,440 So if you're not there right at the start of realizing that you have not made it, you 573 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:14,280 have not achieved something that maybe you told other people you were going to achieve, 574 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:18,160 you're going to get to that acceptance process and that's okay. 575 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:22,840 So you can have that pity party moment and then you got to get over it and then you start 576 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,440 the work again. 577 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,880 And that I think is the biggest part of it because if we feel that off the bat, we're 578 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:33,960 not accepting it and feeling like a bigger person and I'm going to be better than we 579 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:40,040 immediately are failing all over again, you have to sit in whatever it is. 580 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,880 Sit in the feeling of failure. 581 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:47,800 Sit in that feeling of the storm being so heavy and then you walk through it. 582 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,760 I just saw, I think I reposted it. 583 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,640 And it was a picture of a bison fully covered in snow. 584 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,880 You couldn't see a brown piece of this bison. 585 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,440 It was like a bicycle bison. 586 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,680 Yeah, that's what it looked like. 587 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:09,160 And it said, bison are the only animal that will walk through the storm because they know 588 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,200 it will be okay on the other side of it. 589 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,760 Literally a storm, a snow storm. 590 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:17,600 And they walk through and all of the snow attaches to them and they're probably not 591 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:18,960 cloaks, they're bison. 592 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:23,240 But let's pretend that they are and they're cold and they're traveling through, but they're 593 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:27,480 going to keep going through the storm because they know on the other end of it, the storm 594 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:28,540 is over. 595 00:26:28,540 --> 00:26:32,200 If they go through it, if they wait it out, they'll probably die. 596 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:36,040 And that is a very dramatic metaphor to humans. 597 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,000 You will not die if you sit into it too long. 598 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,000 It just will be a longer process. 599 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,520 A part of you will die. 600 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:46,760 Yeah, I mean, yeah, depression is hard. 601 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:54,160 It is so hard to do that though, walk through the storm, walk through the failure to know 602 00:26:54,160 --> 00:27:00,440 in your head that unless, like you said, you are in a great headspace, mental headspace, 603 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:04,280 to know that on the other side, it's going to be fine. 604 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:09,600 But if you can sort of grasp the idea, it might make it a little bit easier because 605 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,600 I know for me it's so hard. 606 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,600 Oh my God. 607 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:18,840 Wait, Victoria did post something about me the other day and it was like, I don't want 608 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,960 to go to therapy because then I won't be funny anymore. 609 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:22,960 Probably fix me. 610 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:29,000 But like, you have to be funny in the first place. 611 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:34,640 Not to take away with all of the very articulate eloquent things Victoria just said, but that 612 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:35,640 is true. 613 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,840 It's very hard to see the other side when you're not there. 614 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:42,840 You have these good eloquent things to say and then I think you hear yourself and you're 615 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,120 like, ooh, ooh, it's too serious. 616 00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,880 Ooh, I'm too good at this. 617 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,800 Must be funny and ruin all the moments. 618 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,120 Like I think that's the process that goes on in your head. 619 00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:57,920 Yeah, I will turn any awkward or any situation into a joke. 620 00:27:57,920 --> 00:27:58,920 It's a coping mechanism. 621 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,560 Yes, that's why I will not go to therapy because they will fix me and I will no longer be 622 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,960 funny. 623 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,960 Send help. 624 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:07,960 S-O-S. 625 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,120 Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. 626 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:13,760 Help me, someone, anyone. 627 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,440 Rumi says it best to understand pain. 628 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:17,920 You have to have pain. 629 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:18,920 Yeah. 630 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:19,920 I'm in pain. 631 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:25,760 And I don't understand it. 632 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,640 We have a little game. 633 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:31,640 Do you want to play now that we've gotten through the storm that is this episode almost? 634 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,160 We're not there yet. 635 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:34,160 Oh, we're not there yet. 636 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,160 All right. 637 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:36,160 We're not there yet. 638 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:37,160 We didn't get through the storm. 639 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:38,160 Oh, okay. 640 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,160 All right. 641 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:40,160 We're ready for the game. 642 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,040 It's called failure to launch. 643 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,040 She's so proud of herself. 644 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:46,600 I just did finger guns. 645 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:47,600 Finger guns. 646 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:48,600 Pow pow. 647 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:49,600 Pow pow. 648 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:50,600 Yeah. 649 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:51,600 Who pow pow's? 650 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:52,600 Pew pew pew pew. 651 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:53,600 Pow pow. 652 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:54,600 Boom. 653 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:55,600 All right. 654 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:59,880 I'm going to give you multiple choice questions. 655 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:04,960 These are all famous people that have failed and you have to guess which one the little 656 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,440 multiple choice question is about. 657 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,040 Are you ready? 658 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,520 These are very easy. 659 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,400 I mean, I'm prepared to fail. 660 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:13,400 It's okay. 661 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:14,400 Okay. 662 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:15,400 I hope you will launch. 663 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:16,400 I accept it. 664 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:17,400 Okay. 665 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:18,400 You accept it and you're moving through it. 666 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:19,400 Okay. 667 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:25,000 A famous person who was defeated seven times while running for political office, Bill Cosby, 668 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,480 Abraham Lincoln. 669 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,000 They're very easy. 670 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,000 Hmm. 671 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,640 Abraham Lincoln seven times. 672 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,960 Seven times before he got office. 673 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:39,960 Our cartoonist who was told by the editor of the Kansas City newspaper, it's easy to 674 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:43,360 see from these sketches that you have no talent. 675 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,800 Was it Dr. Seuss or Walt Disney? 676 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:47,360 Dr. Seuss? 677 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:48,360 No. 678 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:49,360 Walt Disney. 679 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,640 Well, they're both into cartoons. 680 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:52,640 Yeah. 681 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,440 I mean, they've literally said it's easy to see from these sketches that you have no 682 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:56,440 talent. 683 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:57,640 And next one. 684 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:03,440 An author whose first children's book was rejected by 23 different publishers. 685 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:11,360 Now this is mind-boggling because when I get rejected once, I'm like, oh my gosh, 23 times 686 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,360 this guy was rejected. 687 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,640 Mighty Mouse or Dr. Seuss? 688 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:16,640 Dr. Seuss. 689 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,640 Very good. 690 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,640 Can you imagine? 691 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,560 I mean, we got rejected all the time in theater, so I guess I can imagine it. 692 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:27,760 Yeah, but we didn't do well. 693 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,120 Like we got to that 23rd time and stopped. 694 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,120 Right. 695 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,120 He kept going. 696 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,120 He kept going. 697 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,360 Right, right, right. 698 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:39,480 A famous singer who was fired after his first performance at the Grand Ole Opry. 699 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:40,480 Carly. 700 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:42,480 Spider-Man or Elvis Presley? 701 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:43,480 Oh, come on. 702 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,080 You didn't even give me a try. 703 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:47,080 Spider-Man. 704 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:54,720 A famous actress who dropped out of high school and held lots of odd jobs. 705 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:58,120 She was also a makeup artist or corpses. 706 00:30:58,120 --> 00:30:59,120 What? 707 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,120 Who was this woman? 708 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:01,120 J.K. 709 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:02,120 Rawling or Whoopi Goldberg? 710 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,120 Oh, my gosh. 711 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:06,120 J.K. Rawling? 712 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,120 No, Whoopi Goldberg. 713 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,120 Yeah, wow. 714 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:13,120 A famous athlete who was cut from the Varsity basketball team if you don't get this. 715 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,120 Michael Jordan. 716 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:15,120 Yes, Michael Jordan. 717 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:16,120 Michael Jordan. 718 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,760 An inventor who was thrown out of school in the early grades because his teachers thought 719 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,920 he could not learn. 720 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:25,120 James Bond or Thomas Edison? 721 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:26,120 Thomas Edison. 722 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:31,040 I had to make them stupid easy or else Victoria just would not get them. 723 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,800 And that was a goal I set for myself and for her. 724 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:35,400 Easily stupid. 725 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:36,760 This one you will know. 726 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,160 A famous Harvard University dropout. 727 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:43,720 He dropped out of school and he is one of the most famous people in the world. 728 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:45,360 Do I have to give you a... 729 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,760 I mean, that's everyone anymore. 730 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:51,160 Iron Man or Mark Zuckerberg? 731 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,880 Oh, Mark Zuckerberg, I guess. 732 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:54,880 Yes, very good. 733 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:55,880 I didn't know that. 734 00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:56,880 Really? 735 00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:04,080 An inventor of a fried chicken recipe that was rejected by more than 1,000 restaurant 736 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:05,080 owners. 737 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,080 Rejected by 1,000 restaurant owners. 738 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:09,080 A recipe? 739 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,120 A Popeye or Colonel Sanders. 740 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:18,640 Okay, some of them you lob them up and some of them you're like, oh, figure it out. 741 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:22,200 Not Popeyes, Popeye or Colonel Sanders. 742 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:23,200 No, Colonel Sanders. 743 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:28,800 I meant Popeyes, no, but I should have just let you keep going. 744 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:30,720 I guess I want Victoria. 745 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,520 You won! 746 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:33,520 You succeeded. 747 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,120 I failed and am happy about it. 748 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:38,440 I'm abandoning the ship. 749 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:42,200 But that was just, that was just for fun to see if Victoria could catch on. 750 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:48,320 It is crazy how many people can fail so many times and still come out on top. 751 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:49,320 Really? 752 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,480 I mean, the amount of stories that you hear, I don't know anybody's name. 753 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:57,320 I don't know a celebrity's name if somebody was going to give me a million dollars. 754 00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:02,120 But he's the dad on Modern Family that everybody loves, Phil. 755 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,920 And it was something like he had $7 left in his bank account. 756 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,760 He had gotten rejected by however many pilots. 757 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:12,920 It was pilot season and he just decided, okay, I'm going in for this last one and then I'm 758 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,320 done and it was Modern Family and look at him now. 759 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:16,560 And it was the same thing. 760 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,200 For Jim, from the office. 761 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,480 Oh, I didn't know that actually. 762 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:21,840 It was his last- John Grudinski. 763 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:22,840 I know him. 764 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:23,840 Yep, John Grudinski. 765 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:28,560 It was his last audition and as mom said, I will let you can come home after this audition 766 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,600 and it was the office and he got it. 767 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:35,000 Because he was like, mom, I want to come home and she was like, just go to get this last 768 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,000 one. 769 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,760 And then because it had been years, he hadn't gotten anything and it was the office. 770 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:44,160 And I wonder now that we're saying it, if there's like a, maybe you should decide that 771 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,960 the next one is your last one and then you'll get it. 772 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,720 Guys, this one, this is my last goal I'm ever setting. 773 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:54,600 I'm going to make it like getting up this morning and then the next one's going to be 774 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,600 the one I hit. 775 00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,720 Oh my gosh. 776 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:05,840 In one of these, the speaking of, it said, it was a Renaissance artist quoted this as 777 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,160 Michelangelo someone, not Michelangelo. 778 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:11,200 And maybe it was Michelangelo. 779 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:12,200 Oh my God. 780 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,480 What's Michelangelo's last name? 781 00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:15,480 Smith. 782 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:19,560 This might be Michelangelo. 783 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:20,560 Michelangelo Smith. 784 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:25,560 Leonardo Michel, no, this is a Ninja Turtles. 785 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:26,560 Leonardo Michelangelo. 786 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:31,160 It's the end of the year. 787 00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:32,960 We are losing it. 788 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,560 There's not much brain power left. 789 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,560 Our wires are fried. 790 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:39,240 We need an electrician. 791 00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:43,480 Michelangelo Smith said what? 792 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:48,120 He said, don't be afraid about aiming too high and not hitting it. 793 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:54,040 Be afraid of setting the bar very low and doing it and hitting it because that I translate 794 00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:59,640 as just being comfortable and going through not ever stepping out of your comfort zone 795 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:04,680 and seeing what you can achieve there is probably worse than anything you can do. 796 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:05,680 That's so true. 797 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:07,680 Oh, what a good Michelangelo. 798 00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,600 I love those Ninja Turtles. 799 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:10,600 Leonardo Michelangelo. 800 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:11,600 Michelangelo Smith. 801 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:12,600 It's a cousin. 802 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,600 I mean, that's so true. 803 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:17,440 I mean, comfortable is fine, but comfortable is boring. 804 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,400 You know, it's safe. 805 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:30,600 No, no risk, no magic, no risk, no reward, no risk, no problem, my risk. 806 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,680 So listen, we're going to wrap up part one. 807 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:39,800 We're keeping them short and sweet because the work now is for you to go back and do 808 00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:40,800 the autopsy. 809 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:46,160 Yeah, do the investigating, get that feedback. 810 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:47,720 That was the last one you didn't write. 811 00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:48,800 Do you remember? 812 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,440 You didn't fail. 813 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:55,120 You succeeded in failing. 814 00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,160 You succeeded in failing. 815 00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:03,760 Quote, Carly Mayer-Dijkman, December 19th. 816 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,320 You didn't fail. 817 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:06,320 12.05 p.m. 818 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,120 You succeeded in failing. 819 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,080 I'm going to keep saying it. 820 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:12,200 You didn't fail. 821 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,120 You succeeded in failing. 822 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:15,600 Oh my God. 823 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:16,600 Tattoo it. 824 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:18,760 I was ready to give up before this. 825 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:22,840 That was my last one, and I just came up with the better, the better goal. 826 00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:25,000 I'm going to be famous for that saying. 827 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,000 I knew it. 828 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:30,920 You have to go. 829 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:31,920 We have to go. 830 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:37,160 I do hope you took a lot out of this, but the real tip and the real extra tip is to look 831 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,880 back at your year 2023. 832 00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,680 What goals did you achieve? 833 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:42,680 Great. 834 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:47,720 You can't tell the ones that you didn't, and break them down as to why. 835 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:52,080 You really do care about it, and see if you need to just shift it a little bit, continue 836 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,240 or not. 837 00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:59,520 Or to let it go and set something new that you really want for yourself. 838 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,440 Both are great. 839 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:06,960 If you do find that you have failed at one, two, three, however many, do your best to change 840 00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:10,000 your mindset on how you see failure. 841 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:16,320 Try not to beat yourself up for too long or at all, and change the way that you accept 842 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,080 the failure. 843 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,200 And just rewrite the story. 844 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:23,280 Like you have succeeded in failing. 845 00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:30,520 Put a positive spin on it, like my high school photography teacher told me, Victoria, you 846 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:35,720 are the best worst photographer I've ever had. 847 00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:39,560 But that's a positive spin on a negative thing. 848 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:42,600 I think he gave me a C on that project. 849 00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,520 But a quote you will never forget, and that is a success. 850 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:47,520 Yep. 851 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:48,960 I could do it to anything. 852 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:49,960 Yeah. 853 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:52,560 This will be fun. 854 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:57,600 So we hope that you meet us in part two, which is next week, as well, because we're going 855 00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:04,400 to set some new intentions and goals based off of what you have just realized in this 856 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:10,040 succeeding failure of an episode. 857 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:15,320 And we hope that you remember that you are always fit to be real and always allowed to 858 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:26,760 be a little and a lot extra. 859 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:29,960 For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and 860 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,760 educational purposes only. 861 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,960 We are not healthcare professionals. 862 00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:38,040 For all of your health, wellness, fitness, and self-care needs, please refer to the medical 863 00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:43,120 professional in your life, your primary care physician, your therapist, a certified coach, 864 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:44,840 whoever it may be. 865 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:48,800 And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to do. 866 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:49,800 Okay? 867 00:38:49,800 --> 00:39:05,800 Bye.