Welcome to Fit to Be Real.
And a little extra.
It's me!
Hi, I'm the problem, it's me.
At all times.
It's me!
This is my episode today.
Victoria let me have a little bit of control and I'm taking over.
She told me how it was going to go and I said, oh, okay.
We are talking holiday survival guide food and family.
Yeah.
Surviving. Yeah, isn't that good?
Yeah.
And that doesn't mean to say you don't get along with your family.
It's just the holidays are stressful, even if you have the best relationships with your family.
So it's just surviving the stress and the holiday food, family, all of it.
I'm Victoria. Hey guys, I'm Carly.
And during the holiday season, you need to be you.
And if that means you say your name with a high pitch and super peppy, then you do it.
We love a good pep.
Put a pep in your step.
All right, first, well, I actually want to say something really quickly that I think everybody needs to know or is thinking.
Why are people decorating earlier and earlier every year?
Why do you think that is?
I've been thinking about this all week since I decorated.
Carly's.
So here's a fun fact.
Carly's leaving for Thanksgiving to go to her in-laws and we are using Carly's house as usual.
Every time I go up to my in-laws, they usually have Thanksgiving at my house.
The biggest house in the family and.
Nope, that's it.
And she has now already decorated for Christmas.
So our Thanksgiving is going to be around her elves and her snowmen and all of the red.
It is like full on red, green.
Oh, Christmas vomit at my house.
We don't do like the white and the light blue.
That's me.
That's very Victoria.
Silver, very gold and like champagne colors.
And I'm like red, green, blue, white, like very primary.
Kids.
Yeah, kids, old.
I feel like if you went down South Philly, like that street, that is my house.
Old school Italian Christmas.
Yeah.
That's how the inside of my house is.
So that's how they're going to have Thanksgiving.
And I said, sure, mom, you can have Thanksgiving at my house.
Just know for me and my happiness, I am decorating early.
So if you want to have Thanksgiving around my Christmas decorations, that's fine.
I think people are decorating early.
Hmm.
I know it's weird, right?
Well, I don't.
It's hard to tell because we are getting older.
So it's, it's not fair to say it wasn't like this before because we were kids, but it wasn't like if you decorated the day after Thanksgiving.
That was a big deal.
And Andrew still, I mean, he gave me a hard time for decorating the day after Thanksgiving.
He'd be like, it's so early.
It's not even December.
And that was only a few years ago.
Now everyone's decorating as soon as Halloween is over.
Yeah.
I think it has to do with technology.
You think?
Do you think people are just trying to get more in tune with doing what makes them happy these days and not what other people think?
Because I know for me, I, it's like, I don't care what anybody thinks.
This makes me happy.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to decorate.
Yeah.
But that's just me.
I don't know.
Maybe people did decorate in November, but we didn't have social media for posting to know about it.
That's true.
You know, I don't know.
That was just a thing I've been thinking of this week.
Like, I feel like it's getting earlier and earlier.
And while I'm a Christmas person and I'm okay with it, I know some people aren't, but why is it happening earlier and earlier?
Every year.
So you're taking a good spin on it and like people want to tap into truly what makes them happy and not caring.
And I think it's because the world is so horrible right now in so many different ways.
And social media, we see it.
Right.
So there's a lot of, I've seen a lot of celebrities have banned TikTok for their kids because of the videos that are happening about Gaza and everything.
And I, every week I want to talk about it.
I know, I know, I know.
Because we, it's happening in the world.
I know.
It's happening in the world and we are so privileged to not to be far removed from it.
We're privileged to scroll through it.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But with that said, the scroll and it's heartbreaking.
And with that said, the scroll through, I think maybe they're decorating because it's their piece of sanity to a degree.
I mean, the world is crumbling around us.
I know.
And I think that's a little bit of why I don't like, I sit there and I scroll and I look at that stuff and some I have to pass by because I can't read it.
I just, I know you call me an ostrich, but no, I can't read it.
It gets me too upset.
So I have to, there's a, there's a mixed bag.
It's a mixed bag.
There's so much of it is also media driven that, that you have to be careful of what accounts you're watching and what videos you're seeing.
And at the same time, you want to have knowledge and awareness, but you can't, it can't, it can't crumble.
Right.
It can't crumble your life.
So I don't know.
That's, that's, it's hard.
I wanted to talk about it so badly.
Just know we know what's going on and it's really hard for everyone to digest and to understand.
And there is no politics involved.
No.
I feel it is human beings.
That's, that's what's happening.
So, but like, don't, maybe don't bring that up at the Thanksgiving dinner table, which is what we're going to talk about today.
Well, let's, let's get into that.
Let's get into that.
Yeah.
Happy Thanksgiving.
We are going to talk about food tips for Thanksgiving, which I think a lot of people have a hard time with.
Yeah.
They call, you know, some people think of Thanksgiving as like the last meal.
That's how we feel.
I know.
It's horrible.
You feel, you feel horrible at the end of the night.
There's nothing worse and Victoria and I can attest to this multiple times, like every year.
There is nothing worse than being stuffed.
Yeah.
Honestly, it is so uncomfortable.
Roll like Victoria and I have laid down on the floor.
Oh, we have taken walks.
We've gone around the block with our cousins.
We had to take a lap because it is so uncomfortable.
Who wants to feel like that?
Nobody.
I sometimes I'm like, I have, I need to purge.
I know.
I need to regret and go back in time or do something and it's so painful.
But there are so many easy ways to not get, not get that way.
And we're not going to say them because we want you to maintain your weight or lose weight.
It's just honestly how to get through Thanksgiving without feeling like a stuffed turkey.
It's a very good.
Yeah.
You like that?
Yeah, I am.
I didn't even write that down.
I thought of that off my top of my head.
Oh, wow.
I know.
You're like a freestyle rapper.
Wow.
Flavor, Flavor.
Flavor.
That's amazing.
Okay.
Well, tell us what they are.
Okay.
It's number one first thing Thanksgiving morning exercise early.
I just said that to my clients this morning.
Do it.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
I will.
I mean, not to like, you know, say anything but see fit has a 630 a boot camp.
I mean, get up and exercise.
It's before the parades.
It's before, I know some people actually do breakfast or brunch for Thanksgiving.
We never did that, but I know that that's a thing.
So if you get that done before, it's number one, you don't have to think about it.
And number two, you're still keeping yourself healthy and you're getting your metabolism
started so that your body can digest all the foods you're about to eat and you're getting
it done.
You feel so much better and then you're, you know, literally off to the races.
Oh, I know.
I'm crushing it today.
Okay.
I'm going to eat breakfast.
Oh my gosh.
I never do it and I regret it every year.
Every year we will skip breakfast because we're like, oh, I'm going to eat a lot later.
That is like, yeah, the opposite of what you should do.
Yeah, that's the problem.
And I think about it every year because what happens is if, for those of you that contribute
to the meal, you're cooking, right?
You wake up and you start making the dishes or the desserts, whatever it is, and you pick
on that and you're looking out at the parade on the TV and then you're picking on that
and then you're stuffed and you're like, oh my gosh, it's two o'clock.
I have to go to dinner now.
Right.
When you should have just had breakfast and then cooked and then you wouldn't have eaten
your recipe.
You wouldn't pick.
Picking is the equivalent.
If you pick all day, you're eating a meal, but it's not all the good things.
Like you're not having up.
Right.
Guess what?
I bet you're not picking on veggies.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
It's the marshmallows on top of the stuffing that you have to make or not the stuffing,
the sweet potatoes, sweet potatoes.
But eat breakfast.
You have to start on the right foot or it's going to be on the wrong foot for the rest
of the day.
You have to go.
Amazing.
But it's going to make you less hungry.
You're not going to overeat.
That's, I feel like that's a no brainer.
Yeah, but you know what?
It's a no brainer, but I don't do it every single center year.
I'm doing it this year.
Yeah, that's doing it.
So make it a brainer.
It's happening.
Number three.
Eat the fresh appetizers.
Eat the shrimp.
Okay.
Or the veggies with hummus or the stuffed mushrooms.
Try your best if you're going to have appetizers to not go for the heavy cheese bread dips.
Right.
That's going to stuff you up and load your stomach before you get to the dinner table.
I'm going to stuff you up.
Mama said stuff you up.
Crushing it today.
But that's just a little, it's true, little tip to like just go for the fresh stuff.
It's true.
It's better for the long run and you know, it's always interesting to me that we have
appetizers for such a big dinner.
Yeah.
But it's about the gathering.
But it, I know, I know, but it's an entire gathering based around food.
So if we eliminated, this is not going to happen and I'm not suggesting this, but if
you think about it, if you eliminated the appetizer, you would enjoy the meal so much
more.
Right.
It's like when you go to the wedding reception and you would gorge yourself with all of
the amazing appetizers.
A cocktail hour.
And then you're sitting down to a meal that looks incredible, but you're like, oh my God,
I cannot eat this.
I know.
It's the same thing at Thanksgiving and or Christmas, whatever it is.
So it's funny that we do that.
But I do.
I usually go for the shrimp.
You could forgo the apps.
But if you're sitting there talking to, you know, uncle, yeah, we're not talking to you
know, how's uncle Chub doing?
Oh, you said uncle Chip.
I said uncle Chuck, but we do have an uncle chip.
I think it's an uncle Chub.
I'm pretty sure it's a Chub.
Oh my gosh.
Well, that's what we're going to get to the next one.
Alcohol.
Because we drunk.
Alcohol.
Yes.
If you drink, drink.
I mean, that's fine.
Just try our suggestion would be our tip would be to lighten it up.
So one of the things that I found that is actually a really cool thing to drink.
It's really cool.
It's so cool.
Oh my God.
It actually is.
If you like red wine or white wine, half the wine and make a spritzer put out a seltzer
in there, not like a white claw like a little cray along Island wine and do half wine, half
seltzer, throw some limes, throw some lemons in there and you've got a spritzer and it's
so much lighter and will not bog you down.
I really like that you chose the words bog you down.
I'm going to say that off the bat.
Also, I like that.
And then if you're a beer drinker, do the lighter beer.
I mean, yeah, I don't know.
It's hard to say what you prefer is what you prefer, but you're still drinking calories
and that fills up the belly.
So anyway, if you really want to enjoy the meal and have more room for it, lighten up
what you're drinking beforehand at the appetizer portion.
Right.
And I just think like you're going to drink.
People are not going to be like, oh man, this Thanksgiving, unless you're Victoria,
I'm not going to drink.
So go for it.
We're not telling you not to.
No, no, all these smaller choices or healthier choices will make for a better night.
And that's just one of them more enjoyable.
Oh, my next one is called lighten up.
Bring what you are going to eat and you have the control of what's in what you're bringing
to eat.
So you can lighten up those ingredients.
If you were mashed potatoes, calls for heavy, heavy, heavy cream, maybe try and use Greek
yogurt and butter and so it's a little bit less calories, but you have the control of
what you're putting in your dish to bring.
Also, if you don't eat something, don't make it and bring it.
But if you don't eat turkey, don't make the turkey.
Oh, yes.
It have control over what you're bringing so you know exactly what's in it and you can
eat it.
So light, use lower sodium chicken broth in your stuffing.
Have fiber into some of your sweet potatoes.
Yeah, get everyone in the bathroom by the end of the night.
It's a really fun party trick.
It'll help you in the long run.
Especially if you're in a house that only has one bathroom, it's a really good tip.
Save that one.
Earrmark this section.
Okay, well, you're at my house for Thanksgiving and I have multiple bathrooms, so you're fine
and they all work.
Benefiber for the win.
But yes, you have control over it.
Bring what you want, what you can eat, what you want to eat.
Yeah, that's true.
And lighten up the ingredients.
And it could still taste just as delicious.
Release your portions.
Yeah, exactly.
It means to just look around the table.
See exactly what you want.
Don't just willy nilly.
You know, like willy nilly.
You're crushing it.
I know.
I really thought about this.
Just don't put anything on your plate.
If you don't want to eat it, don't put it on your plate because guaranteed you're going
to sit there talking and you're just going to finish whatever's on your plate even if
you didn't really want it.
Yeah, I sometimes do that and I end up like it's still on my plate at the end of the meal
and it's when you're sitting around and still talking, but obviously everyone's just not
really eating and I'll start picking at what I don't actually want to eat, but I put it
on my plate because it got passed around.
I'm going to pull a Victoria.
Yeah, I like it the way you said it better.
I'm not explaining.
I'm not re-explaining.
I do that.
That is what I do.
I think that's what everybody does.
Every single time and it's so silly.
I don't like green bean casserole.
Don't put it on your plate.
That's exactly what that means.
I know.
I do it.
Don't let Aunt Betty say, but I made the green bean casserole.
You have to try it.
No, Aunt Betty.
I'm putting my foot down.
Betty and Chup, they're a mess.
If you don't want it, don't put it on your plate and take a look around first before you
just start throwing stuff on there.
Not connected to the mentality of like, I'm never going to be able to eat this for the
rest of my life again.
You try to get it all in and then you go back for more.
Yeah, you realize that Thanksgiving is not your last supper.
It's just not because my next one.
Aren't we lucky?
Yeah.
Exactly.
It goes along with that.
The next one is skip the seconds.
Leftovers are so much better.
Leftovers are the best.
Think about how much better you'll feel the next day if you don't overstuff yourself on
seconds and you can enjoy your seconds the next day when you can actually enjoy it and
you're not like so stuffed.
It's true.
Skip the seconds.
Enjoy the leftovers.
A fun little tip about stuffing leftovers.
It is best if you put it in a pan on the stove and not the microwave.
Oh, really?
Because it crisps it up again.
Oh, my gosh.
Instead of making it like, just saved your leftover.
I'm not a stuffing fan.
Yeah, I'm not.
Mashed potatoes all the way.
I mean, yes.
Oh, no, I like a good stuffing.
Next one.
We're getting there.
Go slow and enjoy.
That's so hard.
It is.
Because how often do you sit down to Thanksgiving and within, before the last person sits down
with their plate, you're done.
I know.
Like, you're done.
You house it.
Because one, you're hungry because you didn't eat breakfast.
Yeah.
Two, you've been drinking probably, so that makes you more hungry.
And three, you just get over excited.
Over excited.
And if you're eating the chips, not well, who's having chips, but if you're eating
the cracker and cheese, that's empty calories.
So you think it's filling you up, but then all of a sudden, you're, you know, you're
fake hungry again.
So you really do start eating quickly.
Yeah.
And then it's over and you're like, oh, all of that.
And I didn't even taste the food.
It's actually, it was called, I wasn't going to say it because I knew Victoria was going
to be like, oh, yeah.
Am I going to look like that?
Oh my God.
It's called mindful eating.
Oh, yes.
I know.
I'm, you're annoying.
But yeah, so think about what you're eating and actually enjoy it.
Enjoy the conversation.
Enjoy drinking and also drink water in between.
You know, it's so hard.
I know, but you got to do it.
Yes, it fills you up, but it'll help you out for the rest of the night.
Yeah.
You're eating a lot more sodium, I would assume, from all of the dishes.
And the turkey.
So waters.
Excuse me.
It's super helpful.
It's, it's hard, but I mean, again, if you even take two of these tips, I think you'll
find a big difference.
I mean, you'll have to do all of them.
You can try.
Last one.
Be realistic.
Just be realistic about the night.
You are not going to go into Thanksgiving meal thinking, man, I really hope I lose some
weight tomorrow.
Oh my God.
Like it's all the holiday season is all, unless you have a different mindset.
It's all about maintenance.
It's all about continuing a routine, continuing consistency, doing the best you can, and also
enjoying the holiday season.
Yeah, the balance.
Yeah.
Have the cheesecake.
Absolutely.
I didn't even write anything about the dessert because I just want to eat the dessert.
Definitely eat the dessert.
And if you do all these tips before the dessert, you'll have room for it.
And you will enjoy it.
Right.
But you know what?
With the dessert, and I'm saying this mainly for me, because I'm a dessert person.
I'll go to the meal just for dessert.
You don't have to try all the desserts.
I know.
You don't have to.
I don't even like apple pie and I'll put it on my plate because it's there.
Someone brought it or someone made it.
No, someone brought it.
Someone brought it.
Or how somebody brought it.
Yeah.
And it's not my favorite, but I'll put it on my plate and I will eat it because it's
a dessert as an option.
And that's just like the sides and everything with the meal.
That's ridiculous.
Do not with that piece could be for somebody else.
And it's also about not feeling like you have to finish your plate.
Well, that is a generational curse.
We've talked about it before, but there's no difference on Thanksgiving either.
So no.
I mean, go back through this, take a couple, take all of them and let us know how you feel
after Thanksgiving dinner.
Were you a stuffed turkey?
Were you just perfect the whole time and you just, you felt okay?
Even keeled?
That's what I meant.
Not perfect.
Even keeled.
Yeah, no one's perfect, Carly.
Let me know how that half wine, half spritzer tastes.
Are you wobbling?
Are you gobbling?
And yeah, that just, those are nine tips for a very fruitful Thanksgiving dinner.
A cornucopia, if you will.
Of tips.
But now the real fun.
Oh, no.
Eight tips for getting through the holidays with your family.
Go to Jamaica.
I'm just kidding.
No, and these are just tips, even if you are just so excited to see your family.
Listen, we are too.
We don't have any will towards anybody, but the holidays are stressful.
It's just a lot of going back and forth, lots of text threads, lots of energy.
So it's just, these are just some tips to how to make it easier for yourself.
I cannot wait to hear what you have.
And we will go through them quickly, just like we hope the holiday season goes for you.
JK, I love the holiday season.
I hope it lasts forever.
That's why I decorated on November 1st.
My Halloween decorations are in the corner.
They are, they're on a chair.
I can see them.
I just haven't had the time, and you know what?
I would be so much happier at the end of all of my long days if I walked into a Christmas-filled
house.
I just, I know I would.
I know.
I have to, today, today is going to be the time to at least get them out of the house
and bring them in if I don't decorate.
Have you walked into mine yet?
No.
No, you should.
It'll make you feel good.
No, I know.
I know.
And because I have so many decorations, like it's Christmas Village in my house, the rest
of everything is clean, so it doesn't make it look cluttered.
I'm not cluttered.
Yeah.
So it just makes you happy.
You just walk in and the Christmas tree candle is lit and it smells like Christmas.
It just, you know, if you're a Christmas person, it'll make you happy.
I just saw and reposted on our Instagram story.
So by the time this comes out, I'll redo it again, but it's from our Melly R.
Yes.
Mel Robbins.
Your bedroom is your sanctuary.
So you have to keep it the way that you feel the best.
Same thing for the house.
So your house is your sanctuary.
You walk in, you want it to reflect and represent a good feeling for yourself.
So whether that's decorating early or decorating it all or just keeping it decluttered, that
all affects how you're going to go to sleep and wake up the next day.
So I'm going to say it 100% agree.
And 100%.
And one day I'll listen to that Melly R podcast and I'll know what you're talking about.
You won't like her because she's talking right to you.
Okay.
With that being said, let's get through family.
Her eyebrows are going crazy.
Okay.
Number one, plan ahead.
Everybody needs a good plan.
With what?
Just have an idea of what might happen if you are going into a family dinner or event.
And this just doesn't have to be on Thanksgiving.
It could be you guys are going to see the Christmas lights in the city or, you know, just a family
event in general.
Have answers for questions that maybe you are uncomfortable answering.
So if you have that Aunt Betty that you know gets super personal and you are just not into
answering those questions or you're having something going on in your life right now
that you know people are going to ask about, have the answers ready, go through them in
your head before plan ahead so that you don't get anxious or nervous or say the wrong thing
or give too much information when you might not want to or get angry.
All of those I've done.
Yeah.
All of those I've done.
It's like an initial reaction of being uncomfortable.
Yeah.
That's so accurate.
Know how you would answer that question.
That's such a good idea.
Yeah.
And just go through it in your head.
And you can have the answers that you might want to say and say it in the mirror and be
like boom, yeah.
And then actually do the one that is appropriate and will make it the easiest to get through.
Yeah, I'm Betty.
I'm not going to die alone.
God.
Maybe we're like, oh, I'm waiting for the right person Aunt Betty.
No, or just say I don't want to talk about that Aunt Betty.
Shove it.
Oh my God.
That was amazing.
You know what I mean though.
Yeah.
I'm glad you understood that.
Okay.
Number two.
Victoria, you're going to like this.
I said your name and it was really weird.
I feel bad for you.
Have an escape plan.
What?
But that doesn't mean like just jet on the family dinner.
It means sometimes you need a 10 minute break.
Oh yeah, yeah.
There's a lot going on.
There is, you know, roles being thrown across the table.
You know, there's lots of...
This is specifically at our house.
And it's actually not roles, it's olives.
Olives, yeah.
And sometimes scallions.
So if there's a kids table, there's kids running around, they're screaming.
Some people cannot handle that.
And they need a 10 minute break.
Escape.
Go outside for a walk for 10 minutes.
Go find a room and read a book.
Or honestly, I know Victoria might not like this, but like sometimes you just need to
take your phone and you know, scroll for a minute solely by yourself, but not in the
house with the one bathroom and don't go to the one bathroom.
Yeah, everyone's eating fiber.
Definitely don't do that.
I did this at our Halloween party.
I stepped out into your front yard quickly.
Maybe it was five, it wasn't 10 minutes, it was five minutes.
And I just like took a couple of breaths without true chaos ensuing.
And I went right back and it was so fun.
Yeah.
Like you just need that little moment if that's something that you need to do for yourself.
Like I am an energy person.
So when it's a lot of energy for way too long, I get my mood completely shifts.
Yeah, that's a really good thing.
If it's scrolling, scroll.
So escape plan was a little, you know, to the point, but escape for 10 minutes.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, next one.
Over communicate.
Over communicate ahead of time with your family on exactly what is going to happen with your
circle specifically.
So if you're going to your in-laws house, you need to over communicate with either your
spouse or your in-laws on this is what's going to happen.
Yes, we're going to do this with you.
We're going to do this with you.
But for us to be happy as well, this also needs to happen.
Basically, like we're leaving by nine.
Correct.
Right.
Like do what's right for your family or what's right for you, but you need to over communicate
that.
So there's no confusion in the moment.
Exactly.
That's when people start, you know, get their backs up and ask you questions.
That's exactly.
You said you were going to do this at this time, but over communicate.
There's nothing wrong with saying it multiple times, you know, over and over again until,
hey, this everybody knows.
So no one, there's no surprises.
Uncle Chup, scroll back.
There's no Uncle Chup.
This is what I was talking to in the beginning.
The next one, let go of differences.
It is super hard with lots of different views on many different issues in the world right
now to sit at a table and talk politics.
Some people might disagree with me and they'll say, you should be able to talk about anything
and agree to disagree.
Totally.
I agree.
I don't believe in my opinion that a big holiday dinner is that space.
Yeah.
But I, people could disagree with me.
I just feel.
Well, here's the thing.
It has to be the problem with what you have with it is not, not bringing it up.
No, no one is able to have a non heated.
Correct.
Conversation of differences.
When there's drinking involved and you've got people so hyped up right now, everybody
is on high alert on every issue.
Yes.
So it's very hard to have an actual conversation or not conversation, a disagreement.
You can, you can disagree, but it's hard to have a level headed, a level headed disagreement
at a holiday function.
So to me, in my opinion, I would say don't go for those issues.
Your opinion?
In my, in my politically correct opinion.
Oh, okay.
Well, we didn't, you never said it.
So we were confused, you know?
I'm on.
Those are the kind of conversations I have at dinner.
Flavor.
What spritzer do you like?
Listen, go take your break with the person you want to talk to and take your 10 minute
discussion and then come back and be with everybody else.
Here's, here's what I think you are saying, but you think you're not articulating.
So I'm just going to say the exact same thing.
If you know that your family is a heated, passionate conversation type of family and
there are differences of political and religious beliefs and whatever is happening in the world
at the time, maybe just wait until the day after Thanksgiving to have those conversations.
Maybe enjoy a meal without blood pressure rising is what you're saying.
I didn't sound like that at all.
We know you did a very good job.
In your opinion, we know.
Victoria, she's my commentator or she's my decipherer and that is 100% correct.
How she said it is what I sounded like in my head.
Yeah, that is not what came out.
Sure.
I really like that.
I want to walk around with this microphone and record like best in show, but Carly's
life like I want to walk around and be like, oh, today she is trotting down Saxor Avenue
and she is on fire.
Oh, she's stopping.
Oh, no, she's good.
She's still going.
She's making it to the Wawa.
Oh, there's her third cup of coffee today.
I am.
And it's 6am.
Yeah.
I am very much into that.
And when we get a day, it's going to happen.
Oh, she's taking a body break.
That's not on the schedule.
Losing some points for that one.
Moving on.
Don't engage.
And if you are Meredith Marks from Housewives of Salt Lake City, don't engage.
What does that mean?
She says, I'm disengaging.
That's what she says.
And if you're a Housewives fan, you will get that.
And it sort of goes along with the one right before.
But if somebody tries to get into a conversation that you are very uninterested in having at
that time, don't engage in it.
That is so annoying.
It is OK to just nod and say, OK, all right.
Yeah, it's called protecting your peace.
It's not any type of appeasing or pushing over or anything like that.
It's protecting your peace.
And sometimes that's just being silent and not engaging.
Yeah, I like it.
I am disengaging.
Thank you, Meredith Marks.
Your jewelry is beautiful.
Next one.
We're so close to the finish line.
Distract quite literally play games with your family.
Just lighten it up a little bit.
I know we lightened it up with the food.
Now we're going to lighten it up at the holiday dinner.
We have, I mean, last year's Christmas, we played hungry hippos with people.
Oh my gosh, we did.
So we grabbed a child and we grabbed their legs.
We put balls in the center and they each had like a laundry basket and we played hungry
hippos with the children.
And I was sweating.
Yeah.
But like what takes off the edge of anything any family might be going through or discussions
than just playing a game, playing a family game?
Sometimes there, you know, holidays happen, but life around you in your family unit or
your individual is not happy and it's not OK and something, something a little less positive
is going on.
So these little moments are really awesome.
I just found it's in my Amazon cart, the Christmas version to taco cheese, goat cheese pizza.
Yes.
And it's like Elf, Santa, reindeer.
Oh, did you get it?
It's in my cart.
OK, good.
So you're not invited.
You're not coming to Thanksgiving.
I'm not coming to Thanksgiving.
You're not going to play.
Those moments are great and everyone has fun even if they don't know how to play whatever
game it is.
I mean, we gave our mom a very hard time about playing hungry hippos because we were like
stuffed and we were not ready to pick up children's ankles and, you know, slide them on the hard
wood floor.
I'm telling you, it was like your vacuum cleaner that just kept stuck on that one rug.
I was sweating.
I know they were on a towel, I think, on my hardwood floor.
So we were like going back and forth, but we gave her such a hard time.
But looking back on the video, I was like, I can't believe we did that.
So fun.
Carmela is always down for making us do stuff we don't want to do, but in the long run,
it's actually awesome.
And we are always down for giving her a hard time in the moment and laughing about it afterwards.
She does not disengage.
She should.
She disengaged with us when we're giving her the hard time.
She's jumping up and down right now.
She should escape.
She doesn't.
She's so happy.
She is Uncle Betty though.
Uncle Betty?
No, she 100% is Uncle Betty.
Love it.
What's up?
Uncle Betty.
Okay.
I've had a spritzer.
Ask for help.
So if you are the one hosting or you're the one that took on the most planning or whatever,
ask for help.
That's what everybody wants to do.
Do you know when Aunt Betty comes in, she's like, what can I do?
What can I do?
Don't say nothing.
Yes.
Give her something.
It makes them feel helpful.
You know, nobody wants to sit around and watch you run around the kitchen.
I'm literally talking about myself right now.
100%.
You are the worst with this.
I know.
Ask for help because I just think I can do it faster and better.
You're wrong.
You do it slower and worse.
Faster, better, stronger, wiser.
What's that word?
Buy it.
It's the Pentatonic song.
Yes.
That's punk.
In our opinion.
You're wrong.
But let Uncle Betty help.
And she really wants to put out the utensils and the napkins.
Just, you know, let people help you.
And if it's done a different way, if their knives are on the left and the forks are on
the right, whatever it is, I mean, let them.
Let them.
Oh my gosh.
Let them.
It's true though, because they're going to help in some way anyway, even if you say nothing.
So it might as well be something you actually need.
And then your load lightens.
I mean, I guess this whole thing is about kind of lighting the load in all directions.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a big one.
Definitely for me is letting people help.
That's one which I think for me is the most important and the one I get most excited about.
Give yourself something to look forward to.
So after it's all said and done, plan a self care day.
Have like that movie that you're taking the kids to after the holidays are over, after
Thanksgiving is over, have something to look forward to, even if it's just we're getting
in our pajamas and we're going to watch elf.
You know that you have that to look forward to afterwards.
I always need that for myself.
So for Christmas, Andrew gave us a weekend away in January last year.
After Christmas, after we were exhausted, I knew a month after Christmas, we were going
to have a weekend together like snowboarding and whatever.
That to me was the best Christmas gift I could have ever gotten.
Me too.
I worked.
I love when they do this type of stuff because it's really fun for me.
My life is really, really fun.
It doesn't have to be big like that.
It can literally be grab your Christmas pajamas and know that the day after Thanksgiving,
you guys are all going to sit on the couch, watch elf and have popcorn and like special,
you know, chocolate together.
Didn't we used to go to the movies?
We used to go to the movies on Thanksgiving when there were no kids born yet.
But yeah.
And it's like this at Carly's generation of kids.
And then my favorite and I still do this, whether I do this and people are not.
Because this is my escape and disengaging, but I, this isn't Thanksgiving.
This is Christmas, but watching Harry Potter.
Yes.
The day after Christmas.
We do that together.
We stopped for a little because the kids were so young and it's scary.
So we stopped doing that.
But we would definitely pre-kids, we would watch one to seven in our pajamas eating leftovers
on December 26th.
On the 26th and not move.
No.
And we'd fall asleep.
We'd wake up and be like, oh, man, we're on movie three.
Wow.
I missed the whole second movie.
And we just started to get back into that because the kids are old enough.
Yes.
My kids love Harry Potter now.
Like my, that's what I look forward to.
After the hustle and bustle, do something that slows you down a little bit or something
that, you know, revitalizes you.
Whereas Justin said, recovers you.
Yeah.
That's true.
So one of ours is Disney on Ice.
And I love looking forward to that being like, man, Christmas is over.
And I get Christmas depressed.
I get so excited for Christmas that when the 26th happens, I get very sad because I'm like,
oh my gosh, it's over.
So I love having, you know, something like Disney on Ice to look forward to that still
gets us excited, still sort of Christmas-y.
And I do definitely feel that like, even though I don't, I'm not saying.
Crash.
Yeah.
The crash.
I get very excited.
That's over.
I'm like, oh my gosh, we can stop gathering.
I can sit by myself for a while.
Yeah.
But it's true.
That's a really good plan.
And it doesn't have to be monetary.
It doesn't have to be something like that.
No.
It can be on your couch.
Yeah.
At home.
Yeah.
So yeah, those are the tips for food and family and how to survive and basically what Victoria
said, finding your piece and what works for you through a really, really crazy busy time.
Just trying to make it all a little bit easier.
And if that means decorating for whatever holiday you choose as early as you want, do it.
Studies have shown it makes you happier.
We lived on a, we grew up on a block of very close neighbors.
It was an open door policy going in and out at any time.
It was also a different time.
Right.
Back in the 90s, early 2000s.
And everybody would start with their Christmas lights.
Mm-hmm.
At an appropriate time.
I don't think it was too early back then for what I remember.
No, it wasn't.
Yeah.
So, at the time of our house, they'd go up on Christmas Eve because Carmelo was very busy.
Very busy.
And really had no time, but it's always got done.
It always got done.
And they'd be like, oh, calm just in the nick of time.
And then they would stay up until the next Christmas.
So we always were the last to put our lights up and the last to take them down.
And it was the same inside.
So we have a nativity set, a ceramic nativity set that would get hearts for Valentine's Day
and little Easter eggs and bunny ears to put on the nativity set.
It was just easier to decorate it than to take it down and put it away.
Oh, and it was, but it was like it turned into a joke.
A joke.
And it turned into like fun.
I would come home from school and be like, oh my gosh, there's American, Joseph is holding
an American flag.
It's 4th of July.
So protect your piece in any way, whatever that is.
I don't know if that fit it up.
Yeah.
Mom's M.O. or her motto was always like, I'd rather have a dirty cluttered house than
not have time to play with us.
So that's sort of what happened.
Like she would do things with us and that kind of stuff would get pushed to the very
last minute, which was fine because I remember doing fun things.
And also I remember it being decorated.
So I don't really remember that she was super, super busy.
But yeah, that was like her M.O.
No, but they was, I just remember Mrs.
McMahon and being like, oh, Christmas Eve, come get those lights up.
Only dark house on the block.
And being like, oh, wow.
Yeah.
So this whole episode was tips and tricks and options, but we are still giving you a
real tip and a real extra tip.
So your real tip for this Thanksgiving holiday is to actually practice gratitude.
A good way to do that is a gratitude journal where you take two to five minutes in the
morning or maybe at the end of your day and just write one thing that you're grateful
for as you wake up and or you're grateful for that happened throughout the day so that
when you get to that Thanksgiving dinner, you don't have to do the gratitude circle
around the table.
You can, but it'll sit a little bit different and it'll hit a little bit harder that you
look around the table at all of the good that you have surrounding you and you'll actually
feel it.
But you have to practice.
That's a practice.
Not just let me think of something to say at the dinner table when we go around the table.
Yeah.
You know, because everyone goes, oh, what am I going to say?
Yeah.
Practice it.
And, and it only needs to take about two minutes, you know, so gratitude, no attitude.
Well, that was very good.
I'm grateful for that.
The real extra tip of the week is mind your manners.
Why did you say it like a witch?
What does mind your manners mean?
It means mind your manners.
Be a good guest.
When you go to an event or a house or a dinner or a gathering, bring something.
Yeah.
Now, I know that's not for everybody, but you know what makes it just like a little bit
easier on you.
If you don't know what they're serving at this gathering, at said gathering, bring something
that you know you're going to eat.
So bring a veggie tray, bring a fruit tray, because you know that there's one thing there
that you will like to eat or bring your favorite wine.
You know that's your favorite wine.
More than likely it will be opened and you will be a very good guest every time you are
invited somewhere to mind your manners and bring something.
Yeah.
It's nice to give the host and then it's also benefiting you as well.
So that's a really good one.
I like that.
Thanks.
Mind your manners.
The like you have a green face.
You got striped stockings.
I just saw Wicked.
Trying to drop a house on you.
I'm in the mood.
What?
So.
End this.
End it.
I started it, but you know I can't finish it.
I can't pull the plug.
God, I can't pull the plug.
Harley, escape and disengage.
Oh, yes.
I am disengaging.
With all of that said, we hope you have a beautiful, grateful, truly love-centered Thanksgiving
season and or meal with the people in your world.
We really hope you feel fit to be real.
And always allowed to be a little extra.
Happy 6th, Devon.
For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and
educational purposes only.
We are not healthcare professionals.
For all of your health, wellness, fitness and self-care needs, please refer to the medical
professional in your life.
Your primary care physician, your therapist, a certified coach, whoever it may be.
And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to.
Okay?
Okay, bye.
Bye.