Welcome to Fit to Be Real and a little extra.
Welcome to our tell all episode of the history of wrong guys.
You wanted the tea.
And Victoria usually does not give out this information, so she's decided to put it on a podcast.
Yeah, actually you decided in the last episode and said I had to and that's how it happened.
It's a form of therapy.
Sherry told me yesterday after listening to the podcast from last week, she said,
the kettle was dry.
There was not a spill the tea.
I was like, it's coming.
It's coming.
The kettle was dry.
You put me on the spot and I feel like this might be funny.
So yes, your relationships are funny.
I went through everything to timeline it out and like try to remember.
I'm also changing names and I was like, wow, I've I've been through a lot.
And so have I because I went through it too.
That's why every one of them left.
Kidding.
Sort of.
This all begins in 2012.
So I graduated college in 2011.
And I didn't date before then.
No, I that was the year I got married.
I'm sorry.
It wasn't the year you got married.
I left my graduation from my college.
I left the stage and got in the car to go to Carly's wedding.
So yes, in any case, I didn't have time.
You didn't have time and you again were in the musical theater department.
So the pickings were slim.
The pickings were gay.
The pickings were very gay.
The pickings were gay.
We love the gays.
I dated them all.
So my first experience was off of match.com.
But remember, if you listen back to some of our other episodes, match.com was different.
Yeah, it was like the first big launch of online dating.
And it was one of the only apps or wasn't even an app at the time.
You had to be on a desktop and people were writing full emails.
Like you really get a good grasp of people.
So I met a guy we're going to call Benny.
Oh, OK.
But he was a construction type guy.
I know who you're talking about.
With lots of daddy issues.
Oh, Benny and mommy issues and step daddy issues.
But he was the type of guy.
It was fun because he was super sweet.
But he he wasn't that like put on a suit, go to work guy.
We went camping.
Yeah, we did, you know,
Victoria dressed in a lot of camouflage during this relationship.
I did.
John Deere was the output of choice.
Yup.
And I was like, what are you got some turquoise cowboy boots I've been trying to sell for years of anybody wants them.
But yeah, so the long and short of this one is that I was also starting my first like professional show.
I was doing hairspray at the media theater.
And that was like such an experience.
It was awesome.
But it was also tainted by this relationship to a degree.
Because driving to Kentucky for Billy's wedding.
I found a little thing we like to call Suboxone.
You know what Suboxone is?
No.
I did a lot of research at the time, but I've kind of blocked it all out.
So Suboxone is the little like pill or chewable thing you take to help wean you off of heroin.
Oh my gosh.
Or hard drugs.
I mean, I knew about the hard drugs, but I don't know what Suboxone.
I didn't know what Suboxone was.
It's like what you it's how they help you.
Yeah.
Right.
So I found them in like the hotel motel and had no idea what the heck.
So basically he was a lie extraordinaire.
Yes.
And he was really, really good at being an addict.
And that's what he was.
And I didn't know.
And I fought it in my brain and I fought it.
I fought mom.
Yeah.
I mean, I think when you when we found out we were like, oh no, this has got to stop.
And you were like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
Well, I thought I believed him.
Yeah.
Turns out he was not only stealing money from me, but then he's decided to steal from a casino in Delaware and he got arrested.
Clearly we had already been terminated by that point.
But I do remember my birthday that year.
I was headed to a show to do hairspray and I had to sit on a phone for a family intervention.
And they all were trying to help him get into like rehab and stuff.
And he continued to try to send me letters from jail for a while.
Yep.
And I asked that to stop.
I was living in New York.
You were like, please stop sending me letters from jail.
I have recently found that he's doing wonderfully.
He's married.
He has a new dog and hopefully things are good for him.
So that's good.
He stole your debit card and used it at Wawa.
And wow, I forgot.
Remember that?
And we were like, Victoria, he stole your debit card and used it like and stole money from you while you guys were dating.
You were like, no, not he couldn't be.
Then who?
We were like, it's him.
It's Benny.
I didn't want to be told.
It was such a young person thing to do.
He was also like always at mom's house and like semi would stay there sometimes.
So he was like living there, but not really.
Yeah.
He has an apartment in his own place, but mom had a bad vibe and continuously tried to tell me about it.
And I was just fighting that because I already knew.
Oh, I mean, I didn't want to hear it.
Then we move on to Chip.
Chip.
Oh gosh, who's Chip?
Chip lived out in Westchester, New York.
So not in Manhattan proper, which is where I lived.
And we met on match.com as well.
And this was a preppy guy.
So this is very different than Camo.
He was bougie.
Money was an interesting topic, even though he was like presented himself as a really nice guy and had nothing to do with that.
He's what made New York kind of fun though for me because I went to a lot of clubs at night and I never did the club scene before or after this relationship.
And that was a brand new experience.
And I kind of had, I was the first time I had fun.
It wasn't just like working in New York.
In New York, yeah.
We had fun.
We went to shows.
We would do like, we went to the zoo up in the Upper East Side and we would walk around Manhattan and we would go to different places.
Like it was kind of that Hallmark New York experience.
Yeah.
Very briefly I got to experience that and then I never did again.
He was also opening a fitness business.
And I helped him with, he would like send me things to proofread and ideas and should I buy this or should I buy this?
So like I was there for all of his, you know, starting his baby project of this business, which I now believe is he sold and started a new one.
No way.
Like he's doing really well, I think.
Oh, Chip.
This is also when I broke my hip.
I know.
I broke my hip running for exercise with Carly down the shore first or second day of our vacation and I broke my hip.
At what?
24?
24.
24, yeah.
Only 24 year old to ever break your hip.
And I'll never forget we're sitting, mom drove me home to a proper hospital and we're sitting there like waiting for X-ray results and she was like, will she be allowed to have children?
I'll never forget the slow side eye I gave her of like,
Are you kidding me?
Oh my gosh.
I mean, that's, I'm not that surprised that that was the question she asked, but, but yeah, so I broke my hip.
Carly had to wheel me with a PCB pipe wheelchair on the beach and she was embarrassing.
Embarrassing for who, Carly?
For me.
Because you would literally be wheeling me onto the beach going, she's fine.
She's not even hurt.
I mean, she's mine.
It's for show.
There's no cast.
Get up.
I am then packing beach chairs on top of me.
And then we were like, if you're going to sit there, you're going to hold the rest of our stuff.
But with that said, when I moved back to New York, still like, wait, wait, wait, Chip showed up.
Oh, yes.
To the beach to see how you were.
Because he, we had called Chip to tell him what happened.
She broke her hip.
She can't walk.
He came to our family shore house to check on you for less than 12 hours.
Yeah.
Very, very short.
He came back here to Ocean City, New Jersey, stayed for dinner.
And left.
And left because he had to go back to work and everyone was like, oh my gosh, this guy is like amazing.
Who does that?
He's a very good actor.
He's such a good, like wholesome person, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So when I got back to New York, still recovering, but got back to work, it was like a different experience, right?
So breaking anything in New York City is a really hard thing to do to get around and maneuver and be mobile.
And I remember probably getting into a little bit of, I don't think depression is the word, but I was like trying to grasp on to what life was before.
So if I'm going to be an adult and be mature enough to look back, I got needy.
And I needed a lot from him and I wanted him to come into the city more to see me and I couldn't get to him on my own.
So like that was the only avenue.
Well, in defense of your neediness, you needed help.
Sometimes you need help or sometimes it's nice to have somebody else there.
So I understand your neediness.
I understand.
Yeah.
Well, I'm not dating you.
So that's nice.
Thank God.
But I think we are.
But anyway, you would call me and be like, I just need chip time.
And I was like, that's chip time.
Yeah.
Who needs chip time?
Why can't I be there for chip time?
And like, basically, he was rekindling a relationship with a girl friend or girl that he had known before.
And I kind of caught the vibe on this.
So I did the sneaky, you know, murder, she wrote thing and I went into his emails and I read correspondence and I read that he had an opening business party that he had launched his business that I had helped him with.
And he did the full party that I knew was going to happen.
He had already done it and she was invited.
I saw pictures and she was there.
He denied that till the day we stopped talking.
Really?
He denied it.
He actually pre not today or yesterday in my research of remembering all these relationships.
I looked into an email.
He loved bombed me till the very end.
He was a coward.
Yeah.
Coward would be the word, right?
So he loved bombing to the very end and was like, and by the way, it was just friends and family invited.
She wasn't there.
And I'm like, here's a picture that I saw from your email.
You got to be kidding me.
But yeah, never talked to him again.
Yeah, we were, we were not sad to see chip go though.
It was shocking.
He presented himself pretty well.
But he did.
He was my first adult vacation with Atlantic City.
It's the first time I ever did that.
We traveled to a road trip to Boston to visit his family.
I was the first girl he ever brought to his family.
Like, so there's so many things that he was looking for and finding himself in.
So hopefully he's happily married now.
Then we move on.
Yeah, this one's a good one to Timmy.
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.
What could possibly be said about Timmy?
Oh, I have some things to say about Timmy.
Timmy lived in an extension of New York, New Jersey, and I lived in Manhattan.
However, we had reconnected in our 20s via an Instagram DM.
I went to grade school with Timmy.
And on paper, it was like perfect.
I mean, we were like, this is it.
Yeah, this is it.
Yeah, we did it, guys.
Mom said she prayed that when I went and did a contract of a show called West Side Story in Urshinside,
she prayed that I would meet someone.
And then I reconnected with Timmy.
And she was like, I did this.
I did this.
Yeah, Mom, you did this.
Well, if you did this, shame on you.
Shame on you.
So yes, on paper, it was like the perfect Cinderella story type of thing, right?
It couldn't have been farther from that in so many ways.
Our families had dinner together.
Dinners.
We spent a more real day together.
Yep.
Yeah.
Barbecues.
But it was always a little weird.
Yeah.
It was very weird.
I think we are close.
Yes.
Timmy got real close with some of his family members.
Yes.
The family was uncomfortably close in our opinion.
I can only speak on what I experienced and what I know.
And one of the big factors to splitting was that there was a sibling vacation,
a weekend trip just for his siblings.
And it was basically his siblings and their partners and not me.
Right.
And I was very confused by this.
And one of the last times he, you know, his parents were in New York.
I was like, OK, well, I'll come meet you.
And he was like, no, my mom just wants Timmy time.
Timmy time.
Yep.
Chip time, Timmy time.
I remember that.
Timmy time.
Lots of Timmy time was needed.
And it was just things that the differences in, even though we grew up in the same town
with similar close family morals, couldn't the differences outweighed anything?
And that very close family relationship that was, you know, rubbing your siblings' feet
on the couch after dinner.
Don't even try.
Oh my gosh.
I sat there and I would be like.
Skewed.
What's she doing?
And all of them, parents alike would be like, what?
Like it's weird.
Yeah.
I was like, kind of.
After dinner was music time.
He sat in the lounge living room area and you had to listen to music.
And it was, you know, it was nice family moments.
There's nothing wrong with that.
I was still, remember I'm young at this point too.
So I also thought this is the end of.
We all thought this was the end game.
We talked about it.
We had these conversations.
But he wanted me to be his sister.
Yeah.
He told me I should dye my hair black.
And they were all very thin and trim.
And I, you know, was not.
And so it was a lot of these things that made me uncomfortable, but like it was Timmy.
So, but I do remember crying a lot because we would go out in New York and I would have
won too many or we would be having a good time and it always ended in tears because I was
never, there was something wrong.
You know, oh, I remember.
So I'll never forget sitting in the Starbucks on Baltimore Pike in Pennsylvania for the townies,
you know where I am.
And having this big conversation about why siblings weekend involved everyone outside
of siblings, but me and why in your twenties do you have to go do a sibling weekend with
your two sisters.
And I remember sitting there going, do you even love me anymore?
And he was like, no, I remember this conversation.
No.
And it was craziness ensued.
There was also a weird thing about the woman's place and money.
I'll never forget him coming over at Christmas.
We wouldn't do holidays.
I remember.
No, no, no, no.
He would not come over at holidays, but he came over on Christmas Eve, like morning or
maybe it was Christmas day morning.
I don't even remember.
And he was making jokes about how his mom was just a part time physician.
She wasn't even full time.
She wasn't bringing in the money.
And my mom and I, we looked and we were like, I was there.
What?
I remember that.
I can't even remember what it was exactly said, but it was the most outlandish, sexist
thing I think I've ever heard anyone say in real life, not on like a social media platform.
Yeah.
And it was just alarming.
It was alarming.
And I remember having conversations with him after that being like, I'm never going to
make as much money as you ever.
I'm going to run a business with my sister and we're never going to make money.
We're never going to make money.
You have to be okay with that.
You can't compare and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah.
That didn't go over well.
Yep.
There were so many things about Timmy that made us uncomfortable, but we wanted it so
badly that we even as a family tried to ignore it.
Well, good riddance.
Well, hopefully he's doing well.
Yeah, sure.
But you know, Brad was a bro.
Bro, Brad lived in a mannyunk.
Okay.
Oh, Brad.
Brad.
We saw this.
Brad was fun.
Met him on Bumble.
This is when Bumble started to come on the scene.
I'm that old.
I remember when these apps started.
Yeah.
Okay.
You're not that old.
But with that in perspective of like when these apps were, this was like huge.
We were like, what?
You can swipe?
Well, that's when swipe left, swipe right started.
And I was not a part of this yet.
Not with Brad.
Cause I would have been like, nah.
Well, he didn't want, he was afraid of commitment.
Right.
I told him, I remember sitting at a bar with his friends from college and he was saying
why he couldn't commit to something like a weekend ahead plan that we were all trying
to make.
And I looked at him and I went, your commitment issues are boring.
Yeah.
And they cheered.
He was the only and first guy that was ever younger than me that I ever dated because
I can't do that.
Yeah.
I mean, he was a total frat boy.
He was a frat boy.
He lived with a bunch of dudes and manny on after college.
But gorgeous.
But didn't matter.
Lots of family issues.
All of these people have family issues, which we all do.
We all do.
But I attract, I attract what they, they have been missing and then it falls apart.
Right.
So do as I say, not as I do.
But we went to Coachella because Andrew's company was spearheading it.
So there was a huge discount.
I have to say that because that is the only way I could have gone to Coachella.
There was a giant family discount due to Andrew.
So thank you, Andrew.
No, thank you, Andrew.
Coachella was awesome, super fun.
It's a cool experience.
I'm glad that I did.
But he was just trying to get to Coachella.
Right.
Like one of the things was the airplane getting, getting to California.
We were sitting at two different seats and it's the first time I ever flew to California
or that long by myself.
Even when I studied abroad in Italy, I went with two friends who were friends at the start
and we sat together.
So it was the first time I was like, ask the people next to you if they would move or vice
versa or whatever.
So he was the row in front of me, but to the right.
So I could see his like through the aisle and he's texted like we're texting each other.
Have you like, I was like, have you asked them?
What's the deal?
I have to do this before he take off and he was like, yeah, just ask them and I was watching
him.
And he did not.
Yeah.
And he didn't even lift his head to look at the people next to him, but was telling me
that he did.
And that was like, ooh, and that was going to the weekend.
So I was like, that doesn't feel great.
So we did Coachella and it was super fun.
He had friends there.
We met up with friends there.
Like it was, it was a good experience.
I will not take that away, but he did tell me there that he had, he was afraid of commitment.
So I didn't believe that and I didn't care.
Yeah.
Of course.
You heard it, but you didn't hear it.
Yeah.
Cause I was still young, stupid and like you're at Coachella, you're having so much fun.
And he was really fun.
Like he, he did care about me until he didn't, which is when we got home and I wanted like
a little bit more serious and he was just really, really pulling away from that in all
avenues.
If you remember, I can see myself standing in old seat fit at the window in the back
by the door because he was like breaking plans with us that night.
And I was like, what do you mean you can't come?
Like I want to talk to you cause I wanted to either end it or like figure out what's
going on.
And he was like, something came up and I was like, did you just something came up?
Did you?
What?
I'm laughing now, but it was again, he was in our family.
Like he knew Melody.
Melody was born at the time and Lewis.
So like he had met the kids a bunch of times he's, he hung out at mom's house.
Lewis would call him bad if his name was Brad.
Like he had a name for his actual name and it was like so cute.
Yeah.
And he gave me that.
Yeah.
So like he came to Disney on ice with us.
I know.
The thing is these guys would become invested in our families because our family was super
fun and we did things.
And then so when they left, it was heartbreaking to all of us.
Yeah.
Because so happy for you all.
Yeah.
I'm sad that you guys went through that.
It was really hard for us.
Well, I will say Chip called mom.
Yes.
That is one thing I will remember.
Chip, we have to go back to Chip real quick.
Preppy New Yorker cheater called mom and broke up with mom and was like, I'm so sorry.
And mom was like, why are you calling me?
And I remember her, I didn't know that happened and she told me she was like, Victoria, that's
a weird thing to do.
It is a weird thing to do.
That's odd.
He had to be liked and needed to feel bad about himself.
Yes.
He did not want to feel bad about himself.
So he made up lies.
Then there was Terrell and Terrell's name did not change.
Terrell, it was Terrell because Terrell is a great guy.
We love Terrell.
And I was so sad about Terrell.
Terrell was separating from a marriage.
He had two kids and it was just bad timing and he didn't know what he could do or manage
with kids and a girlfriend and what he really wanted.
And I was just turning 30.
It was like, it wasn't good timing.
It just wasn't right.
It wasn't good timing, but he was the nicest human.
But I loved Terrell.
Terrell was a real and he was beautiful.
Yes, he was.
Mom wasn't super happy because he had two kids.
Yes, I know.
When I told mom that I met a guy that was really, really, really genuinely a nice guy,
and then I said he has two kids.
She went, run away.
Those were the words and she said, run away.
And I said, what? and she was like, run.
You'll never be a priority.
And that's true.
I mean, that's true.
It's true.
If you have children, they should be your priority no matter what phase you're in.
But I don't think that necessarily means it would have been a bad relationship if he
could have given whatever he could have given.
And at the time, it just, it was just bad timing.
He was super hot.
Yeah, he was a beautiful man.
And he was kinder than he was beautiful.
So that was even better.
I'll never forget.
We went to R&B night.
I didn't know any of the words, but I danced my little heart out.
It was so fun.
And this next not real relationship, but this next guy, Dustin, was all bumble.
Dustin.
It was really bumble from the way out.
I did hinge, but I never really met anybody normal that I could, I could bear talking
to for a while.
Dustin was a not real relationship.
Yeah.
Now, Dustin was what you called an F boy to the nth degree.
And I won't stay too long on Dustin because Dustin wasn't an actual relationship.
Dustin was an experience.
I had a relationship with Dustin.
I had a relationship because Carly's bathroom got renovated by Dustin and his crew of misfits.
But yeah, it turned out Dustin also had a full time girlfriend.
And the only story I will give about Dustin that will really represent, I think, who he
was was that when I found out about all of this, which was before I thought on the stairs
Christmas 2020.
So that's where we are in the grand scheme of like the years we've made it to 2020.
He would call his mom and ask his mom to change the location on the phone that he had in his
room because he lived with his mom at the time.
And his girlfriend would check that location.
So it would show that it was at that house and not in Springfield, Pennsylvania or Swathmore.
I lived in Swathmore at the time.
And I was like, oh, you're like not a good person.
Yeah.
Like you're a really bad person.
But also he was around our family a lot because he was a charmer.
Oh, he was an F-boy to the nth degree.
He loved, I can't wait for you to explain that to our aunt Vicki when she texts us,
listening to this episode, asking what that is.
That's perfect.
I will tell her.
Vicki, I got you.
But he was with our family all the time.
And Victoria one night literally said, don't learn his name.
He will not be around for much longer.
It was our birthday outing.
Don't learn his name.
He won't be around.
Yeah.
He randomly texted me like last year, last summer, and I never responded.
Well, so they did their little breakup from their non-relationship relationship.
It wasn't even anything to break up with.
And I was like, Victoria, he's doing our bathroom.
Can he still do our bathroom?
Because he was our cheapest estimate.
Yes.
Because I was in the hospital recovering from an injury and he would text me being like,
yo, I heard you're broken.
Sucks, dude.
And I was high on fentanyl.
And I was like, what is happening, Dustin?
And he was like, met this chick, might go skiing.
What do you think?
No.
Like that was Dustin.
He was trying to be your friend afterwards.
But so Victoria had to see him every single day for 10 weeks while he renovated our bathroom.
And she was like, is Dustin there?
I'm like, Dustin's always here.
She's like, I'll come in.
I made him a lot of sandwiches.
Yeah.
He owns me a lot of bread.
And then we've made it to Gunther.
Gunther.
What a name this Gunther.
Gunther was also bumble.
Gunther was the most recent.
We all know Gunther.
We all know the Gunther.
And I found a quote.
So I was looking, I'm not going to lie to you all.
I was looking through Instagram to find the timelines.
I have no recollection of time of order of these people or whatever.
And this is the perfect way to describe Gunther.
Even as when they blame you for your reaction to their disrespect.
That was Gunther.
Yeah.
In a nutshell.
So all things aside, it was whirlwind.
He loved bombing from the start and I didn't know what love bombing was until I got into
therapy after Gunther.
But that's what it was at the start.
Intense, crazy whirlwind of like excitement and oh my gosh.
And I'm not going to lie to you.
I had that, oh, this is it.
This is the guy.
Because and I stick by that, I'm not going to regret that I felt that.
That's how I felt.
And it was the first time I remember when he rolled up to pick me up off of my family
vacation down the shore.
I remember getting in the car being like, oh, he feels very light.
Like I don't feel real dark around him.
And that was rare for me to feel with any prospect.
So I was, yeah.
Well, he couldn't have been the darkest person ever.
Darkest.
But listen, we loved him.
My kids, all three of my kids loved him.
But they didn't know him.
We didn't know him.
Yeah.
We didn't know the real Gunther.
Now, he has a lot of unhealed trauma from childhood that I don't think he will ever
dive into and help himself with.
I think this is a pattern for him.
And I think he's probably doing it to the girl right now that he's with.
But the kids loved him.
He moved in to the house with me because I wasn't living in my apartment and I was living
at mom's and he moved in.
All of this was within eight months.
Yes.
He moved in and he became a part of the house.
He became like when the kids got home from school, let's go see Gunther.
Which was also a part of the withdrawal.
So when the family stuff started really becoming real is when he started like a dissociative
episode indefinitely of withdrawing, not wanting to talk, didn't want to help with
the house, kind of needed an outlet to try to function of understanding that like this
was life but also loved it and also was happy with it and told me all these stories and
every time I would bring up how I felt, it was somehow an attack on him.
So the conflict that we had was toxic and it wasn't great because nobody was listening
to each other because it was all emotional and feelings based and yada yada yada.
The fun part of this story.
Is there a fun part?
Because I was there the whole time.
I was literally there.
I don't remember it.
It was like a few times in quotations, well, it was awesome though until it wasn't.
It was awesome and little did you guys know what I was actually going through until the
end because I was dealing with it, tried to deal with it by myself.
Well, I think we knew.
You knew he withdrew but you didn't know the conversation like the fights we were having
and the all out all night long crazy battles and him driving away in the middle of the
night to go sleep in his car, which I don't actually think was true.
I think he went to somebody else's house.
So if we broke up in April, we talked, we continued to talk because the goal was to
individually work on ourselves in the hopes that it would come back together.
And if it didn't, it didn't, but we firmly believed that it would because we were going
to do the work.
So I was the only one that did the work on myself.
I'm still doing it.
I'm very happy for him or that he existed and happened because it kind of pulled me
into where I am now.
So I won't, all of these relationships, I'm not going to regret.
I'm going to stop you right there real quick.
I don't think you would have gotten into yoga had you been with him because he would have
taken up so much of your time.
You wouldn't have felt like you could have taken that time for you to do yoga.
I don't think you would have gotten into it at all.
And I mean, you love it.
I agree.
I absolutely agree.
And I would call him after yoga and he'd be like, how was it?
Those conversations stopped.
He stopped asking and like things started to kind of trickle off because I was asking
him what he was doing to help himself.
And the answer was always, don't worry about him.
I'm working on it.
What he was actually working on while he was telling me what to do on how to work on myself
was that he had met somebody else and I had found Bumble Profile.
So it was like a whole hot mess of things.
I did my Murdershire Road investigation and I went on the Instagram of the only source
that he hasn't blocked because he has since blocked me and Carly and Seafit and friends
and anybody else that he was connected with with me.
But I found a loophole and I found in and he as of February, we stopped talking in December.
As of February, he was doing a road trip with a girl who was claiming that it was the love
of her life.
So I don't really know the timeline, but manipulation is the number one, I think.
I've met some really good liars.
You, yeah, you really good liars.
I can't even explain it.
It's like they find you and you find them and then it's good for a while and then it's
not good for a really long time.
But Victoria is the type of person.
I just said this to somebody the other day.
She goes down with the ship.
Victoria is loyal till the very end.
You said it a couple months ago on the episode.
Oh yeah.
But she is.
So like when things are going bad, she doesn't jump ship like a lot of people would like
these guys do.
She is like, no, we're going to fix this.
We're going to work through.
That's what you do.
You fix it, but almost to a fault because she's like it's some, a lot of them are unfixable.
And the other person needs to meet her halfway and Victoria is the, you know, the pilot.
No, the captain of the Titanic.
No, the pilot.
Oh, I don't want that title.
I don't know.
No, no, no, it's a good thing.
You go, you want to take care of that ship and you're not going to jump.
And you want to fix it so badly that when it's going badly, you're like, well, then
I'm going to go down with it because we're, we're all in this together, but the other
one is not meeting you 50%.
There's no reciprocity.
I definitely feel like I'm Jack and there's room on the door.
There's room.
There's freaking room on the door.
Just let me on.
I won't drown, but nobody lets me on.
So those are all of the significant milestone relationships that I've had.
And it's been a fun ride.
There's some fun moments between 2013 and 2017.
So Chip and Timmy, there was a big, that was, Chip was 2013.
Timmy was 2016, 2017, but there was a guy that I don't have a name for.
I just called him Small Hands.
And he was the first date that I went on in this timeframe between 2013 and 2017.
I met him at Iron Hill and media and we had talked on, you know, probably match.com or
whatever.
I don't know.
I met him and we sat down and it was the first mistake I made that we were doing dinner.
We did drinks, we did appetizers, we did dinner.
Well, you learned.
I never did this again after Small Hands because we stopped calling him Small Hands.
Because this is what happened.
We sat down at the table.
We ordered, you know, the drinks first and an appetizer.
So I was already locked in an appetizer and we sat down and he was perfectly normal.
Like he was exactly what his picture was.
It was no big deal.
And he was like, all right, I got to bring it up at the start.
I just got to let you know.
They call me Small Hands and he put his hands on the table and he was like, because my hands
are really small.
Oh my gosh.
And his hands were really small.
His hands were like, when you hold those little plastic ones in the game, like his
hands were really small.
He brought that up.
It was the first thing and then I couldn't, I didn't know what to do.
Like first of all, I didn't care, but he was so dead set on making this the focal point
of the entire night that I was like, I'm not into this.
And he was so insecure about it that he had to keep bringing it up.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh my gosh, I have to wait for an appetizer.
Then there was Fred.
You don't remember Fred?
Oh my God, Fred on the beach.
Fred on the beach.
Fred was a comic book artist and he was kind of like Superman.
He was built.
Yeah.
But he was a huge nerd and I like really liked that.
He was cool.
But he invited himself down to the beach on my family vacation and I didn't know how
to.
I was like, can we just see this theme?
The only time Victoria has time to date is when we're on vacation for two weeks.
She has no other time that all these guys, she's just like, listen, I have two weeks
down the shore and that is it.
So if you can't find a date, you can come meet my family on our first date.
No, Fred wasn't a first date.
It was like a second date and he came into the beach and I made sure we beached on a
different beach than the family because I didn't want to deal with that.
I was 30 of us didn't know if I liked him yet.
He lived in the garage apartment above his family's house garage and I couldn't get him
to leave and he came and he got changed in the house and oh my God, there was really
nothing wrong.
I just wasn't into it and I couldn't get him to walk by you guys on the beach chair to
be like, hey, yeah, you good.
You coming back to the family is Fred leaving.
Yeah.
Then there was Joab and I'm calling him Joab because it was a typo on his profile.
I think it was Jacob or something, but I thought, do you remember?
I was like, I'm going out with this guy for the first time, but I think he's like a Mormon
because his name was Joab and I thought it was biblical, but he typoed it and he couldn't
fix it.
Strike number one.
So the main thing, I think you'll remember this, he had mental health issues.
Yes, I do.
And he was very open about it and it was fine for me, but he was like, you're welcome to
ask me any questions.
And I was like, oh, okay.
And it was really the first time I think I heard the word anxiety and some sort of
depression and all these things.
And I was like, oh, cool.
So we did a second date.
I think we even did a third date and I would ask questions.
And by the third date, he was like, you're aggressive.
I remember.
And he was attacking me because I was asking questions that he openly was telling me I
could.
But he started, he twisted it into this defensive mode of telling me how horrible I was.
And I was like, yeah, I don't think we're going to meet again.
I think we're good.
I'm good.
And he ended up contacting me like a year later when I went back online and I didn't
even respond.
I didn't even respond.
Then there was Cameron, the pilot, the Australian pilot.
I remember him.
This was a fun time.
I was into this guy.
Yeah, because he, you know, Hawaii and I gave him my best Australian accent and he was like,
wow, that was really horrible.
And that's what he sound like from Delco.
I was like, what do you mean?
But he was funny, you know, had an accent, which is great.
And he was really cute.
But he faked COVID.
He faked COVID to get out of coming to another date or scheduling something.
You did a couple dates.
We did, we did like three or four.
He was at my condo and we watched SleeBag, which was really funny.
And he was shocked that I thought that was funny because American humor is not the same
as Australian humor.
But yeah, he just turned into like every other, yeah.
There was an experience that I had in New York City.
I had two dates in one day.
I remember this.
You baller.
I'll never forget this.
All I have for their names is guy number one and guy number two.
But guy number one, I met Midtown somewhere and I had like heels on when, you know, you
would get dressed up and he made me walk a mile and a half.
We walked a mile and a half to the food destination.
Oh, God.
And I was so turned off by him because he was like kind of mean.
He was like that typical New Yorker mean, but he wasn't even from New York.
I can't remember anything else about him.
And I remember being like, I'm just gonna get drinks.
Yeah.
Because my feet are bleeding.
And they were, they were actually bleeding.
And I ruined my suede heels that I loved and I wasn't into it.
So I went home and changed my shoes.
I think I put flats on.
I was like screw guy number two.
I don't even care.
I'm putting on Bobo's.
And I met him downtown at like an open kind of what they have in Philly with a love chair,
a love park thing.
They had like an open thing that I never experienced in New York outside and it was to get beers.
And he was like a bro and I was like, oh, I'm never gonna see you again, but this is
nice.
This is fun.
And I'll never forget getting myself back to my apartment and being like, no one's feeding
me.
No.
I'm drunk.
I had four, two glasses of wine and two beers.
Like I don't like either of these guys.
I have my feet are bleeding and I gotta go home.
Like what is happening?
I remember being so fed up with that.
We were in like Chinatown.
We were so far downtown from where I live.
And then the last little story that I have who I didn't give a name, but I guess I should
give me like a preppy nautical guy name like Bo.
Bo.
He's a Delco guy who thinks he's Shep from Southern Charm.
Yes.
And I originally met Bo in 2015 via cousins of mine and I was still living in New York.
So we talked for like three weeks straight before I even came home at Christmas to like
meet him.
And we dated for like a little, how many dates can you put into like a Christmas vacation
time?
And the first one, just like normal, the first date was like so fun.
There, wind and dined, laughed, too many hours sitting at the table, waitress hates
you, yada, yada.
And then it never left from his couch in his roommate and just like getting stoned at 35.
And I was younger.
And I was like, yeah, this is not, I'm leaving.
I remember I got up and I was like, I'm good.
Like I don't, yeah, I don't want to do this.
But it's not like this was your third date.
You had gone to his family's house.
You had to the pool.
Just later.
So I remet Bo in 2021.
Yes, you're right.
So that was 2015.
Said bye, had some, you know, other relationship experiences.
And then again in 2021, we reconnected.
This is why I don't talk to anybody again.
When you die from my life, you die.
And I tried with Gunther to be like, no, I'm going to do it differently.
I'm not going to try to forget and black everything out and move on.
Like this is okay.
This is, you know, healthy and normal.
Now you die.
Goodbye.
Bo 2021, nothing changed.
And he was almost 40 now.
And it was again, reconnecting, super fun.
It was at quotations, old quotations in media.
And then he just wanted to like get high and get stoned on his couch in the same apartment
that he lived in, how five years earlier.
And I did go to his family beach house.
I drove down there.
I brought my own food.
Cause you were like, I do not trust these guys to feed me.
He didn't feed me.
I asked him for pretzels.
Like you got pretzels or something.
Like you're giving me beer, but like I need a pretzel.
I got to drive home.
And I, he really ended that poorly actually.
I really poorly that it was a judge of character.
I hope he's doing well.
I hope everything's well, but he would swipe.
He was like texting on, I'll never forget.
I was sitting on his couch.
He was sick and he was texting with his mom and his mom sending him girls, pictures of
girls of family, friends that like, Hey, what about this girl?
And I'm sitting right there.
I was like, what am I doing?
This is 2020.
I just broke a rib and a lung.
I don't want to be here.
Yeah.
We're going to play a little game.
Cool.
It's called don't hate me.
Oh God.
Speed date me.
Why are you going to speed date with Victoria?
Why do you have cards in your hands?
Cause I'm going to ask you questions.
Oh my God.
And we're going to speed date and speed dating.
You have to do things really fast because then you got to move on to the next person.
I declined.
We want to do all these.
Oh, that's cute.
Okay.
What is one new thing you'd like to try?
Sleeping.
What does being a good person mean to you?
Reciprocity, honesty and basic kindness.
Well, those are the hard questions.
Now we're going to get to the fun questions.
Sweet.
Who are three people you want on your team if there was a zombie apocalypse?
Mike Bouter.
He's like our uncle.
He's going to kill you for saying that.
The rock.
Yes.
Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
Matt Reif because he's funny.
He's a comedian and if I'm going to die, I might as well laugh.
Okay.
I get you after that question.
That was a good one.
What would your rap name be?
I'm kind of disgusted right now.
What would my rap?
What would your rap name be?
I can't do Lil Weezy because he exists but I weaselot, you know?
Lil therapy.
Lil boundaries.
Who would play you in a movie?
I don't know.
Hermione Granger.
Yes, perfect.
Or Julia Roberts.
Oh.
Very different.
I don't know.
My favorite actresses.
I don't know.
I would have to have a dream job if money didn't matter.
If money didn't matter, see Fit Fitness.
I would walk my dog for a living and money didn't matter, nothing.
What season fits your personality?
I'd be a landscaper in a gardener actually.
We moved on.
This is speed dating.
God damn it.
I've never done speed dating.
Which landscaper?
Great.
Which season fits your personality?
You're aggressive.
Fall, autumn.
Okay.
One answer is suffice.
Would you rather date someone you met online or go on a blind date?
No.
Okay.
Would you rather date someone you love or date someone who loves you?
No.
Okay.
Would you rather be the funniest or smartest person in the room?
Funniest.
Yeah.
We hate smart.
Yeah.
Would you rather have a rewind or pause button in life?
Pause.
Yeah.
That sounds good.
Who's the worst boss you've ever had?
I'm not the boss.
That's the part.
What's the first concert you ever went to?
The Monkeys.
What's the worst job you've ever had?
Carly is my boss.
So true.
Thanks for letting me go away this weekend.
What show on Netflix did you binge watch embarrassingly fast?
The Righteous Jeff Stoice.
Oh my God.
It's so good.
So good.
Last question.
What's your favorite seafood sister?
Pepper.
That was the most important one.
Is that what I have to ask when I go out on a date?
Yes.
I'm not going to anytime soon.
Guess what?
I'm single.
You're single.
You won.
This podcast doesn't help that.
It really doesn't help that.
Now I'm out there even more for people to be like, oh, I'm going to be single.
People will be like, oh, I don't know you.
Oh, let me search your name.
Oh, let me listen to her.
Wait, the best part is that I am an open book and she is super private and I love this
episode for that reason.
And I feel like after this, you're going to therapy.
I am at one o'clock today.
Well, you gave our real extras a lot to think about today.
Honestly, listen, if you're young, if you're in the dating scene, this can happen anywhere.
Like online dating isn't the reason why I've met these people, these humans of sorts.
And get yourself out there, do your own screening or vetting and just go with what feels right.
However, I will say all of these felt right in the beginning and they turned out to be
horrible, not great relationship people.
I won't say they're not bad humans or they're not good humans, but they weren't right for
relationship at the time.
So I don't know, go with your gut, but like, don't.
I have no relationship or dating advice other than you can't regret anything.
You have to just move on, move forward and take whatever that lesson was.
Half the time you don't know what the lesson is until it's way too late and it's so far
down the line.
It gives you that ah-ha of like, oh right, that was their purpose in my story.
Got it.
Yeah.
So cool.
Well, I promised a tell all.
And that was a tell most.
Tell most.
That was a tell most.
We don't have time for a full tell all, but those were the highlights, right?
Yeah.
And uh, yeah, nobody come up and talk to me about this.
I really don't want to hear what you think about it.
To be honest with you, when I'm about to go teach you a class on stage, I don't want
to talk about this beforehand.
It's okay, I'll bring it up.
No worries.
Oh, remember you're always fit to be freaking real and always allowed to be.
Be a little extra.
For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and
educational purposes only.
We are not healthcare professionals for all of your health, wellness, fitness and self
care needs.
Please refer to the medical professional in your life, your primary care physician, your
therapist, a certified coach, whoever it may be.
And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to.
Okay.
Bye.