Welcome to Fit to Be Real and a little extra.
We're not holding back today.
No, we are not.
There's nothing holding me back.
I can find a song for anything.
There's no difference from any other podcast episode,
according to Carly, where she will just sing song.
Sing song.
I will not be held back today.
If you have not caught on to the theme,
it's about holding us back.
And the things that do that.
Yeah.
We don't want anything holding you back,
and we're going to go through the things that might be,
or if you're unsure, we're going to put a name to those feelings.
And they are called Carly.
I'm Victoria.
Hey, guys, I'm Carly.
And I have to say,
I've never noticed your maniacal laugh until we started doing this.
Really?
Carly, it is.
No, you have that you have a laugh,
but when I play it back 17 hours straight of editing and it goes.
Like you go through the octave, you go up, you bring it back down.
I think I'm just going.
It's like a vocal warm up.
I'm going through.
Sure is.
Years of training of voice training of like laughing safely.
And then there's Victoria, who's like.
Carly picked this one.
Why are you?
Is there something you're particularly holding back in your life?
You like to talk about?
No, not.
I think, well.
I think we all hold back and I think things scare us
and we are going through a transitional time right now.
Victoria and I, I think with Seafit and our business
and we are always trying to make things better and it's hard to change.
And.
You are really the only thing holding yourself back.
And in doing this podcast in general, not this episode,
but this podcast, it is made me realize and open up my eyes to the things
that I want to change.
I know Victoria might not believe me, but I see it.
I hear myself talking and I'm like, damn, that's good.
I should do that.
Oh my God.
So in one of the previous podcasts, I think it was the last one.
Episodes, episodes.
We said something about, is it better?
I mean, it was.
Silly.
Is it better to be smart or lucky?
And when I was writing that question or I was looking it up,
I was really researching it.
Is it better to be smart or lucky?
And they really said there is no such thing as luck.
There really isn't.
There's coincidences.
There is, but just like I said last week, you can have 7000 degrees
and the person next to you can be more successful, but there's a reason.
And it got me thinking like, well, what is the reason?
What's holding the person back like and all this stuff.
So then we started diving into that.
And I think there are a lot of things holding everybody back and they just
can't put a name to it or they can't put their finger on what exactly it is.
And maybe this episode will help them put a finger or an earmark to be like,
Oh yeah, I definitely do that.
How do I not do that?
Yeah.
I think that's great.
The number one thing that hold that is holding you back is you.
After the research I've done, that is the first thing everybody says is.
Oh, you needed research for that?
Yeah.
I'm so cute.
She needed research for that.
No, it was just the one thing that kept repeating like every.
It just said Carly.
Yeah, it said Carly, you're holding yourself back.
Carly, you're holding yourself back.
But it's you and if you like look in the mirror, you are holding yourself back.
You're the only person that can change or the like nobody will.
What?
Only Tuesday.
What are you?
Lafou from the movie.
L'imposso.
Oh, that's not Lafou.
Lafou's from Beauty and the Beast.
God damn it.
It's only Tuesday.
Oh, yes, but it's a full moon week.
It's a super blue moon.
Let's start with number one.
Fear, which is the basis of I think anything else we're going to say.
I think fear is the base in all of them.
Of all of it.
Yeah.
You can look at fear in a couple different ways.
So an acronym for it is false emotions appearing real.
F E A R false emotions appearing real.
And that's the truth.
Yeah, that I just love that one because I was like, oh fact.
So if you look at it as I'm scared, I'm in fear, forget everything and run
because that's what fear is.
Uh huh.
And if you can flip that, which is what we'll talk about today in ways
that we can do that face everything and rise.
I mean, I like the second one.
Well, of course.
Yeah, but it's we all go to the forget everything and run first.
That's the point of fear.
So if you can think that there's a way out of that and fear doesn't have to mean
fear, like you can sit in it and understand, try to understand what it is
you're actually feeling and then rise to the occasion.
Yeah, I mean, if we could all recognize.
You better recognize instead of push it away, like recognize that you're fearful
and then write down what what is it that scares you, acknowledge it and then figure
out ways to to change it.
Yeah.
But but I feel like I mean, myself included.
I don't do that.
I just go, oh no, I can't do that.
Andrew was a huge believer in writing stuff down and I am a huge believer in
keeping it all in your head.
God, that explains so much.
If we wrote down more like what we were fearful of and then try and cross it off
the list.
Fear is the thing that's holding you back and it's your biggest competitor
and it's in yourself.
My friend, Teddy D. Teddy D. Roosevelt.
Oh, oh, yeah.
Teddy D. Teddy D. Teddy D.
Said, what did you do?
I mean, it's the most famous quote in the whole world.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
And you learn that like the posters are all up when you're a kid in school and
you don't really look at it.
You're just like, oh, I know that quote.
But if you think about it, everybody is just afraid of fear and fear is the only
thing to be afraid of and hit it.
Just get rid of it.
Get rid of it.
If we could get rid of it.
Teddy D. was like on point back in the day.
Another thing that might be holding you back, not having confidence in yourself
and your skills.
If you don't have confidence and a good relationship with what you can do and
a relationship with you, it is very hard to connect with other people.
I rather quote from my favorite person, Anani Moose.
Because I don't know who said this.
So it's anonymous.
Anani Moose.
Oh my God.
Excuse me.
It's Anani Moose.
Thank you.
Oh my God.
But it goes with this, I think, because if you're not confident, there's a self-esteem
factor that is lacking, which means you find yourself unworthy.
You find yourself, all these self-derogatory things, right?
We can't hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.
Say it again.
We can't hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.
So if you're even sitting here listening to us going, yeah, I want to change.
I want to change.
But you're not changing any of the thoughts that you have about yourself on the daily.
Then you're never going to be the person you want to be because you're going to,
that's what's holding you back.
Right.
And so that confidence, like how would you expect to be confident when you're
constantly putting yourself down in your head, even if you're smiling on the outside?
Right.
And that's what I meant by the two, because I think this goes with the next one,
which is feeling unworthy.
And it's about, you know, the more you brush off compliments and put yourself down,
you begin to believe it.
So like when somebody says, oh my gosh, I love you.
I love that you did that or congrats.
Don't self-deprecation is not a form of being humble.
It's self-deprecating.
Like there's a difference between being humble and putting yourself down.
Yeah.
Like I'm not good at taking compliments.
I know that when somebody says, oh my God, that was amazing.
I'm like, oh my God, that was horrendous.
Like the more you say that, the more you believe it.
And then then the confidence is then you don't have confidence.
So I think those two go together feeling unworthy and the lack of confidence and the
unworthy factor of it all is so important because that's how you are with the relationship
with yourself.
And then that's how you are with the relationships with others, whether it's romantic or your
family relationship or your friends.
Your ability to lift yourself up and like have yourself worth be so strong is the basis
of how you're representing yourself for everybody else and how you treat others in those relationships.
Like, oh my gosh, this is great.
We're knocking out all my quotes.
This is another one by Anani Moose.
It says, I forgive myself for receiving someone's lack of reciprocation in my relationship as
a challenge to convince them of my worth.
I forgive myself.
That part is like you're recognizing that you feel unworthy.
Yeah.
So we're talking about that.
That's why this is coming up for me to say it.
You forgive yourself for someone else in a relationship that you have that doesn't reciprocate
how you treat them.
You forgive yourself from taking that lack of appreciation and lack of relationship that
they're giving you.
You take that as a challenge to constantly try to prove yourself to them.
Okay, I got you.
Instead of acknowledging that like, no, I'm worth it.
I'm better than this.
You're giving me nothing.
I'm giving you everything.
I'm on board with it now.
So that worthiness that you have for yourself or unworthiness that you have for yourself
is something to really look into.
Yeah, 100% agree.
And what you put out there is what you're telling yourself.
And if you're telling yourself not positive things, that's what you're going to put out there.
There are days I don't do a very good job of it, but when someone compliments like my
hair, for instance, instead of doing my go-to, which is, thank you, I showered.
Yeah, because that's a compliment, but also like a joke that is to make it stop, to make
it.
Yeah, because I'm uncomfortable, uncomfortable with compliments.
100%.
I just go, thank you so much.
And it's really hard to do.
It is hard.
It is hard for me to accept a compliment.
I just kept thinking of mean girls.
Like, oh, you're really pretty.
And she says thank you.
And she goes, oh, what?
So you think you're pretty?
Oh my gosh.
And I was just like, yeah, that's sort of what people think of when you get complimented.
Like you don't want to sound like, yeah, oh, thank you.
I am pretty because you're thinking that other person person is like, oh, what?
So you think you're pretty?
Well, maybe think of it in a different way of saying, I'm going to say thank you and
I'm going to take that compliment and maybe somebody can hear me and go, oh, wow.
Yeah.
So that maybe they're now going to try to be confident.
Yeah.
100%.
But I just kept thinking, I was like, oh my God, this is so mean girls.
Oh, what?
So you think you're pretty?
Yeah.
Trying to make better work.
Happen.
Oh.
Okay.
So what?
You think you're pretty?
Yes.
Thank you.
On certain days.
See, don't do that.
Okay.
I'm going to go into lack of self care because how can you move forward in something that
you want to without taking care of yourself?
So yes, that is what's holding you back.
The lack of self care, which I also think is lack of self love.
I agree.
And I also wrote down for lack of self care because it had, it did talk about burnout
because when you are burnout, you cannot take care of yourself and they talked about toxic productivity.
So talk, what that is is when you feel you have to be productive all hours of the day,
24, 7, 7 days a week, because if you're not being productive, there's no way you're going
to get to those goals that you want.
That's actually bad for you.
You need to self care.
You need to take a day of rest.
You need to get your mind off your goals for a hot minute so that you can take care of
yourself.
And sometimes that's just sitting and doing nothing.
Yes.
And like, that's okay.
That doesn't mean I have a really hard time with that.
You do.
Yeah, same.
Don't ever.
I do what you do.
And she has a hard time with it.
I have a hard time with it.
Oh my God.
So much therapy that needs to happen right now.
But it's true.
It's obviously we make the joke of like hustler life in the grind is what we try to do, but
it's really not good.
I'm a hustler, baby.
Yeah, I know.
I was waiting for you.
Your breath was going to happen.
I was trying not to take a breath so you could do it, but that hustle is what keeps you from
thinking.
I'm going to take a moment to relax, reset, recoup, recover all of the Rs because I need
that for myself.
And it keeps you from letting that happen because you're like, there's something else
I could be doing.
I'm missing something.
I don't have the time for this.
I don't have the money to sit down and relax.
There's so many things we tell ourselves and not even one says back again and self love
is asking yourself what you need and then making sure that you receive it.
Yeah, that's true.
What do I need in this moment?
I need to sit down and do absolutely nothing.
Make sure that happens.
Hey, creativity happens when you are not doing anything.
How do you expect to be creative or imaginative or think about your next goal if you're constantly
on the go?
Yeah.
Are you going to answer that for yourself?
Are you asking yourself?
I'm too busy.
And I think a lot of people have this and it's the fear of being found out.
The skills that you have, the talents you have are never good enough or not on par where
they're supposed to be or that you don't belong there or you're not educated enough.
Like you're always under the bar and you're faking it basically.
The fake it till you make it is imposter syndrome.
But on the reverse, I feel like we fake it till we make it all the time.
Like we're constantly learning as we're doing.
Well, there's two different ways to fake it till you make it, right?
So there's fake it till you make it in the way of, okay, yes, I don't exactly know what
I'm going to do, but I'm going to jump in with two feet and figure it out as we go.
And the ball will roll and things will work out.
And I have this positive mindset about it, fake it till you make it.
And then there's fake it till you make it in this self doubting.
I don't deserve to be here.
I don't belong here.
They're going to figure me out.
I'm not even going to try.
And when I do try, I'm going to fail.
And then there's that negative ball that's rolling.
That's a different way to fake it till you make it.
Self doubt is self deprecating itself.
It's just, you know, it's all of this.
I know they all roll into one.
They all roll into fear.
I mean, it's all different forms of fear, basically is what holds you back.
And I saw this awesome meme.
You know, I love Instagram memes.
Her name is mime.
Mime.
I saw her on Instagram.
It was about imposter syndrome being like, oh my gosh, I'm going to get found out.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
I hope nobody sees me and I just want to fly under the radar or you can refocus it and say,
I don't know everything yet, but I am willing to learn as I go.
And that that's basically how you need to treat your imposter syndrome so you don't
have it anymore.
Well, Albie, Albie.
Is that Albert Einstein?
Sure is.
The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.
100%.
The ability, not changing and advancing and success.
It's just the ability to adapt yourself.
That is the level of intelligence.
It's not how many books you can read.
It's not all the tests you can pass.
Just the ability to change.
I used to be very insecure about my college education because I went to four colleges
and I, when people would ask me, Andrew went to an Ivy League school, very, very smart.
Andrew was very book smart.
I am, Victoria's going to laugh.
I'm people smart and I am street smart.
I went to four colleges.
I have a college education.
I didn't like college.
I just wanted to go out and work.
I just wanted to dance and be an actor and tour and travel.
So it, what you did, I did.
And I did it all while I went to school.
So I never felt that I was as intelligent as other people.
And that's why I think I did have a little bit of imposter syndrome back in the day and
a little bit now still.
We all do.
But the ability to change is still where I am working on.
So maybe my intelligence factor from Albee, Albee, we're getting there.
But that's true.
I agree, and I think that's also a piece of society and the collective of like, if you
don't go to college, you're not smart.
And that is, couldn't be farther from the truth.
And you transferring to four colleges, it's ingrained in you.
You have to know what you want to do.
You have to pick a college.
You have to go for four years.
You have to now excel in that career you've chosen.
You've chosen it.
So you better do it.
Yeah.
It's the most ridiculous setup that we put the human species through.
However, the fact that you can acknowledge what that was and what that used to be for
you, 100% is the sign of intelligence because you have changed a lot.
Yeah.
I used to joke about it all the time.
Like I want to sweatshirt with all the colleges that I went to on it.
You should still do that.
No, I should definitely still do that.
I loved my college experience.
I'm not saying that, but people feel insecure about things that they've gone through and
that's why they have that fear and imposter syndrome.
But if you can change or have the ability or even the want, I feel like if people have
the want to change that is the first step.
Oh yeah.
Well, because nothing's going to change if someone else is forcing you to do it.
You have that.
It's like, it's AA.
It's any type of therapy that someone's trying to get.
You need therapy.
You need to do it for yourself.
Yeah.
If you're not doing it for yourself, number one, it's not going to stick.
And number two, there's so many other pieces attached to that that is reasons why it's not
going to work.
Yeah.
It is 100% step one.
We've digressed a little bit, but I just wanted to get that out there.
A big one.
I think it holds us back, me back.
I'm not going to speak for Victoria, but people pleasing.
That would be a first.
I do speak for Victoria.
I was actually going to just say people pleasing.
Yeah.
It's a big hindrance because you cannot make everybody happy and we're still learning
that.
You cannot make everybody happy.
You just can't.
It's impossible.
There's a piece of that that's a service.
Being in service of others, first of all, that's the purpose of life.
Being in service to others to benefit all and yourself.
There it is.
You don't need to go read the Bible.
I just figured it out for you.
There is trauma attached when that service to others supersedes service to yourself and
the greater picture.
That's what people pleasing is.
If you go on Instagram and you look up the holistic psychologist, number one, thank me
because I just changed your life.
Number two, I changed the algorithm of your Instagram and you're going to see more positive
and helpful behavioral life things.
Number three, I don't remember what I was saying.
People pleasing.
She says a lot of good stuff.
People pleasing holds deep in a highly sensitive person.
People pleasers are empaths of some nature that need to hear that you are not a burden.
You do not need to explain yourself or over explain yourself.
What do you need right now?
Those are the three things that she says people pleasers need to hear that you are not a burden
in life.
You need to know why you want to make everybody happy because you feel like there's something
missing for you that you need to prove yourself.
There's that unworthy piece to it.
You don't need to explain yourself.
Gosh, we over explain everything.
Everything.
That comes from not really feeling heard and wanting to make sure that that other person,
just like, you were just saying this the other day, saying no to someone.
You can't just say no.
You have to say why and all the million reasons why the answer is no.
You have to be acceptable for them to approve of your no.
We're going to say this in every episode until we all get it, that no is a complete sentence.
Yeah, really until we get it, to be honest with you.
And then what do you need right now?
Because that's a piece that has been missing.
What do you need?
Put yourself on the pedestal of what you're giving out.
And I think it comes with the self-confidence, it comes with the self-esteem.
It's all to team.
It all goes together.
Yeah, people pleasing is actually a really, really horrible trait for yourself.
When you're putting other people's opinions or values above your own to try and make them
happy, you are diminishing your opinions and values and your life.
And you're not going to be happy because you're every day just trying to make everybody else
happy.
But that and that's another thing.
People pleasing tends to come down the line of generation.
For sure.
So, so hear this and know that you have another generation underneath you.
So maybe, maybe start heeding your own advice in changing the tone so that the next generation
doesn't start their own podcast and start figuring things out and then talking about
you on it.
Done.
But it's true.
And there's nothing, all moms, all parents, all grandparents, there is nothing against
the ability you had with what you were given to start the next generation.
And there's, once you can, once you can find that acknowledgement and awareness that there
is no blame to give.
You were raised how the cards played out and now it is up to you and your intelligence
with the ability to change.
Oh yeah, bring it back, bring it back.
Me and Albie, I tell you.
That's where the next generation comes into play.
You can either keep with the hand that was dealt to you and dealt, deal that to the next
or change the hand.
And there's nothing wrong with just because you're changing something doesn't mean there's
something wrong with the system.
I think that's where you come into play.
100% because I'm a traditionalist and I am like, this is how it is.
This is how we grew up.
We're going to do it the same way.
I'm now seeing that maybe things can be done a little different and that's not to say better
or worse.
Exactly.
It's just different.
That's all.
And it holds you back when you decide that it is only black or white and there is no
gray area.
Yeah.
That's me in a nutshell.
The fact that you're even talking about it and can acknowledge that for yourself.
I've never been able to acknowledge it.
I'm like, huge.
But that's huge.
That's huge.
And I thank the freaking lord.
It's working guys.
This podcast is working.
Clap your hands if you believe.
Oh my God.
We said we weren't going to talk long today.
Moving on.
Okay.
Waiting for the right time.
I was just going to say that one.
And I'm quoting right time because let me tell you there's no freaking right time.
They say it all the time.
There's no right time to get married.
There's no right time to have a baby.
Yeah.
There's no right time to make an investment.
There's no right time to make the decision for a lunch.
It doesn't matter how small it is and it doesn't matter how big you're thinking for the decision.
There's no right time.
Wait.
Tell us how you really feel because this one I'm yelling at myself.
I'm yelling at myself because I'm always like, okay, well, when I get to this, then
then it'll be all right.
And then I'll do this.
There's always that A to B to C just to get to D step.
And it's BS.
It is BS.
Let's all the letters.
It is ABC.
It's BS because it's just ridiculous.
It's ridiculous that we wait.
I started wearing mom.
I asked mom, I said, listen, if you want to get me a birthday present, I need my perfume.
Mom, we have refillable perfumes and it's the thing that mom does for a birthday.
And I need them.
But she just got me one for Christmas and she got one for it and she was like, oh my
gosh, you're going through your perfume.
I said, what am I waiting for?
Yeah.
I'm saving it for a rainy day.
Exactly.
But I feel like that's how I used to think like, oh, I'm going to sit.
That's expensive.
Yeah.
So I'm going to only wear it when I'm going out to important things.
But I'm putting it on before I sweat at yoga because I want to.
I want to.
Because you want to.
And that's why I'm running through it so quickly.
But like, what are we waiting for?
And this is such a minor thing.
No, but it is minor.
But in the grand scheme of things, there's a lot of minor daily things that add up.
Yeah.
That's just one of them.
I'm going to hear a quote that I found from Anonymous.
Anonymous is killing it today.
She on fire.
The timing becomes right when you are ready for it to be.
Hey.
So like the right time is when you decide it's the right time.
Yeah.
Now people can can take that and say, well, the right time is when the universe puts
it out for you.
Yes and no.
You decide when the right time for anything is for you to be.
Yeah.
That's the right time.
That's what the universe put out for you.
For you to decide when the right time is.
You have to trust in the divine timing of the universe, which is exactly the same thing.
Trusting putting in your mind, I trust the universe, whatever will happen is meant for
me today.
And that just means if you make that decision of like screw it, I want to do it now.
That's called divine timing.
That's the right time for you to do that.
I'm going to say something else that is a little derivative of what mom used to say.
I think she said it in different words, but like life is not handing you an invitation.
Like go out and get it.
And she used to say something like that.
She's like, get up and do it.
Like if you want it, go do it.
And it life is not just going to like here.
Here's your evite.
It's time now.
No, go make your evite.
Yeah.
Do it.
Well, it goes back to those cardinals.
Yeah.
It's like when you see one, you're like, oh, that was the sign I've been waiting for.
Like, give me a signier sign.
Give me a signier sign.
Just like, I just want to be 100% sure.
Uh-uh.
No.
Do it.
That is all you need.
Whatever it is.
And sometimes the sign is just a feeling in your gut, not your chest.
If we remember, what's the feeling in your chest?
Fear.
And what's the feeling in your gut?
Intuition.
Yes.
I didn't even make you.
I didn't cheat for you.
Hold on to yourself again while I like it.
Not having clear goals.
And this sort of goes with writing stuff down.
You got as, what did Andrew?
Andrew told me to like sit down one day and do five-year plan versus 10-year plan.
And actually, it worked because the five-year plan was to get a bigger space.
Yeah.
And we got that bigger space within the five-year goal.
Now I have to sit down and write goals for the next five years because we're sort of
like all over the place right now.
Yeah, they're short term goals.
Yes.
That's what it's called.
You set those small goals.
It might take you in a completely different direction, but you'll get to where you want
to be, where it brought you to.
Exactly.
Which is where you are supposed to be.
In divine timing.
Actually, not a but on bump.
That wasn't a joke.
That was legit.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Maybe we wouldn't clean up in New York.
We don't know if we're funny or if we're dramatic or drunk.
Yeah.
This goes with that though.
So to meet your soul's purpose or to meet your goal, it requires letting go of your mind's
dreams.
So it requires of letting go of the exact thing that you want in the end.
You just have to let go of how you want to get there and you just have to let it get
there.
Yeah.
Yeah, because if we would be miserable if we were like, man, we should be on Broadway
right now and blah, blah, blah.
Why didn't we get there?
Yeah.
I mean, we do 20 shows a week.
Our own shows at Seafit.
God we're cheap.
Yeah, our tickets are cheap.
But really, I mean, we're doing what we like to do.
We literally built ourselves a stage.
Stop saying we.
I have nothing to do with that.
But you wanted a stage too.
I want a stage.
Your goals changed when you change, we just made different goals.
Yeah.
All right, I'm going to mesh a few of them together to finish us off for if we have
forgot what we're talking about.
It's the things in life that are holding you back.
There it is.
Yeah.
So pulling the reins back in excuses and quitting too easily.
And I really do think that's the same because if you're quitting too easily, you're making
some sort of excuse for yourself as to why that's an OK thing for you to quit.
That's one thing I cannot stand just quitting because it's hard.
Wait, can I add something?
Yeah.
There was a study done.
There's 43% of New Year resolution people that have set goals for them quit in three
weeks.
43% of you that make New Year's resolutions quit within three weeks.
So from January 1st to let's give it a home to February.
Yeah.
You guys quit.
Yeah.
Because it got hard.
That is like, it's mind blowing to me.
I mean, I've done it.
I've done it.
I've done it too.
But I think because I've gotten over that hump now, you just don't set goals.
Yeah, I don't set goals.
I crush them.
She's like, Happy New Year.
I'm not doing a resolution because I'm just going to quit.
That's my resolution.
Resolutions all year, all day.
That's such a horrible percentage and that's really sad, but it's very, very true that
you make an excuse usually when obstacles start to arise and when the challenge presents
itself and instead of breathing through the obstacle or whatever is standing in your way
and getting through it or getting over it or getting around it, you don't actually have
to drive through it.
There's so many other different ways you can achieve past the obstacle in front of you.
You just quit.
Yeah.
And then you're just constantly in the cycle of never getting farther or better or changing
more, whatever it is you are.
There it is.
You are holding yourself back.
And I also, what goes along with that with excuses is you excuse yourself from said goal
by blaming others.
You put it on the other person.
You put it on, oh, well, this person did this.
That's why I can't.
That's why I couldn't do it or like this, you know, whatever, you're blaming others
as a part of your excuse to why you're quitting and that negativity is not going to make anybody
win.
Do you want me to bring this, shall I say, full circle?
Love it.
You are the reason you are holding yourself back.
All of the things that we said today have to do with you and no one else.
No one else is in your way.
No one else is pushing you down.
No one else is holding you back.
You are holding yourself back.
And that is the hard truth.
No one wants to hear it, but it's the truth.
And why, why when you hear something you don't want to hear, do we just defend ourselves,
shut down, go into a little hole of like, nah, you're wrong.
I'm right.
You're wrong.
Like, why do we do that?
Because of all these reasons.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Like fear being the basis of all 12 of the things we said today.
Yeah.
I mean, that, that is, people are afraid.
Yeah.
And the people that aren't go out and get what they want.
There are people out there that are not afraid and have no fear in themselves.
Not saying they don't have fear out in the world, but they don't have any fear of their
ability, their skills, what they can handle and they go out and they do it.
I enjoyed what we talked about today so much.
And I love Teddy D and Albie and Anna Moose, Mimi that I have put together a little fun
game.
So we're going to play a little game called don't quote me.
Please don't quote us.
Don't quote me.
All right.
Who said this?
Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.
Yeah.
And give me multiple joys.
No.
Okay.
I'll give you multiple choice.
What?
All right.
Hold on.
All right.
You want multiple choice?
Yoko Ono or John Lennon?
John Lennon.
You are correct.
The future belongs to those who believe in their beauty of their dreams.
Helen Keller or Eleanor Roosevelt?
Helen Keller?
Wrong.
L-E-R.
Tell me and I'll forget.
Teach me and I'll remember.
Involve me and I can learn.
L-E-E or Benjamin Frank E.
I'm going to go Benny Frank.
Benny Frank.
Benny Frank for the win.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count.
It's the life in your years.
George Washington, Abraham Lincoln.
Blankin.
Abe.
Yes.
You missed 100% of the shots you don't take.
Wayne Gretzky, Michael Scott.
Yes.
That was a trick question.
They both said it.
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
Atticus Finch.
Confucius.
I'm so Confucius.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Nelson Mandela or the Dalai Lama.
I know.
The Dalai Lama.
Dalai Lama.
I just want to let you know because she made me give her multiple choice on the spot.
I am making these other people up.
They're crushing it.
Dreaming after all is a form of planning.
Gloria Steinem, Hugh Hefner.
Gloria Steinem.
So you could tell I couldn't think of one there.
The only way to do great work is to love what you do.
Steve Jobs, Steve Carell.
Steve Jobs.
Do or do not.
There is no try.
Just in the way I said it.
Do or do not.
There is no try.
How you said it, I'm supposed to know who said it?
God.
God or Yoda?
Yes.
Okay.
These are fun.
You should have said do or do not.
I should have.
I should have said it that way.
I'm not here to be perfect.
I'm just here to be real.
Hank Azaria or Lady Gaga?
Lady Gaga.
Hank Azaria.
The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
Ernest Hemingway, Albee Bee.
Ernest Hemingway.
Correct.
All right.
Last one.
Are you ready?
My mother always used to say, the older you get, the better you get unless you're a
banana.
Rose from the Golden Girls or Blanche from the Golden Girls?
I'll leave you guys with this one.
Rose Betty White.
Guess who won, Victoria?
You won.
I won.
I actually did.
Don't quote me.
But those are some pretty good quotes to take away from.
Carly on the spot.
Thank you.
Carly, who said this quote?
No, thank you.
This can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Victoria Mayo.
Anonymous.
But what if I said it like an old man with a wizard hat?
Dumbledore.
Same thing, Victoria Mayo, Dumbledore.
The dream.
Moving into our real tip and our extra tip, even though all of this was a giant tip.
Yes.
I'm calling the real tip, Face It.
But Face Your Fierce.
So grab a notebook.
I would say notebook, not your phone.
Grab a notebook, write it down with a pen and paper.
It makes a difference.
It just does.
And write out your fears from the smallest spider to a career change.
Write them all down.
Just acknowledge them.
I 100% agree with that because when you write something down, it becomes real.
If you just think it, it's in there.
It's trapped.
And on that, I'm going to piggyback off that.
This is called quote me.
What does quote me mean?
Quote me means I literally want you to write down on a post-it note.
I am amazing.
Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point.
I want you to put it on your bathroom mirror.
I want you to say it out loud to yourself.
Do you need to say it one time?
Maybe, two times, maybe.
As many times as you need, every single morning, I want that to be the first thing that you
say to yourself.
Look in the mirror, see the post-it note.
I am awesome.
Say it out loud.
It makes a difference.
And quote me on that.
Just remember, you can face everything and rise because you are always fit to be real.
And always allowed to be a little extra.
For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and
educational purposes only.
We are not healthcare professionals.
For all of your health, wellness, fitness, and self-care needs, please refer to the medical
professional in your life.
Your primary care physician, your therapist, a certified coach, whoever it may be.
And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know it too.
Okay?
Okay, bye.