1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,560 Welcome to Fit to Be Real. 2 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:03,440 And a little extra. 3 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,000 We're a lot extra because we're back from vacation. 4 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:06,720 Yes. 5 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,720 And we are feeling vacated. 6 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,840 We are feeling vacated. 7 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:14,280 Before we get into this episode, I just have to say, 8 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,920 and Carly can attest to this, 9 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,600 I have been doing, well, she can't attest to this part, 10 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,360 I've been doing the cold shower plunges. 11 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,400 Yeah, I definitely, wait a second. 12 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,840 No, I can attest to that. 13 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:27,040 I was not there. 14 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:28,480 I don't know anything about this. 15 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,360 No, but I have been doing the real tip of doing 16 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,240 and trying the cold shower plung for like 20, 30 seconds 17 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:35,280 at the end of each shower. 18 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,760 And I've been doing that since we put that episode out, 19 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,360 which was one of the beginnings. 20 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,040 One of the ones at the beginning. 21 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:41,840 In the beginning. 22 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,320 And I was able to just run in the ocean. 23 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,200 That I can attest to. 24 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,080 That's what I was going for. 25 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,480 Okay, well, don't say that I was attesting to you 26 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,600 and being in the shower. 27 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:50,560 It's good that you said it twice. 28 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:51,520 That's good. 29 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,880 You would run in the ocean, no problem. 30 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,080 Head first, dive in. 31 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:56,720 Yeah. 32 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,880 And I would watch you from my beach chair. 33 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,200 And I've never, ever done that. 34 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,120 It's taken me 20 minutes to get into a pool. 35 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,480 Was it just not cold for you? 36 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,320 No, they were very cold. 37 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:11,280 But I've regulated my response to my body's alarm 38 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,000 when you feel that freeze for the first time. 39 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,520 Like when it even when it goes to your toes, 40 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,200 you already know it's too cold, you back off. 41 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:17,360 Yeah. 42 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,320 And then you try to get it to your ankles. 43 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:19,120 That's what I do. 44 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:19,760 It's torture. 45 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:20,400 Takes forever. 46 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:20,960 Yeah. 47 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:24,160 I, with the showers, even though it's 20, 30 seconds, 48 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:28,560 you train your brain and your body to change its reaction 49 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,480 or response, not to react, to respond to the cold. 50 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,720 And you, it's basically what we're going to talk about. 51 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,600 It's breath work. 52 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,440 So this podcast is really working for you then. 53 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,320 I'm doing fabulously. 54 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:42,960 You should try that too. 55 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:46,400 And also, we are talking about living in the present moment. 56 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,240 And how hard it is. 57 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,120 And then also how to try to start doing it. 58 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:51,440 Yeah. 59 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,320 Tips and tricks on how to live in the now. 60 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,320 I'm Victoria. 61 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,920 Hey guys, I'm Carly. 62 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,960 And she didn't do that for two straight weeks. 63 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:05,360 I didn't. 64 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,560 I didn't say it once. 65 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,640 And so that is me. 66 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:11,040 What you're hearing when I say it is me living 67 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,640 in the present moment. 68 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:13,120 Yeah. 69 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:14,000 Very proud of you. 70 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:14,400 Boy. 71 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,880 We taught that to her children when they were like just 72 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,000 learning how to talk. 73 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:20,640 Yeah. 74 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:21,840 Boy. 75 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:22,560 Get a Gert. 76 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,040 Get a Gert. 77 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:23,200 Get a Gert. 78 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:23,840 That was another one. 79 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:24,320 Yep. 80 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:25,040 Oh, Lewis. 81 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:26,080 We're so cool. 82 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,000 That's what that's one of the things we are going to talk 83 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:28,480 about today. 84 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,320 Lewis, I can remember that like it was yesterday 85 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,760 and he was what two years old. 86 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:34,640 He's seven now. 87 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:35,680 And he's seven. 88 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:40,320 And I do have these little snippets in my mind 89 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:44,400 of different like clips of life that I do remember really 90 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,760 well when I mentally said to myself, 91 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:51,520 you need to stop right now, look around and remember 92 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:52,080 this moment. 93 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,440 And somebody told me to do that like before I got married. 94 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,040 And I'll never forget that tip to like when you really 95 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,760 want to remember something, you need to stop yourself 96 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:06,320 in your tracks, look around and like take a picture 97 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,440 with your mind basically. 98 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,800 I'm impressed and also really upset that you never told 99 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:11,600 me that. 100 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:12,160 I forgot. 101 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:13,120 Yeah. 102 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,800 So I've never done it and I have no memory. 103 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,000 I have not one memory. 104 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,360 I literally tell you everything. 105 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,960 And that's the one thing I forgot to tell you. 106 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,280 Somebody told me that before I got married, 107 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:24,800 I can I have these. 108 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,760 I think I want to say five snapshots in my head. 109 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:28,240 Really? 110 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:28,640 Yeah. 111 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:32,320 And teaching Lewis on the beach in Michigan 112 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,680 when he was just learning to talk. 113 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:33,840 Yes. 114 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:37,120 Saying, yeah, boy and get a Gert. 115 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:40,240 I have a specific memory of because I sat there and we 116 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,120 were having so much fun and Lewis was being so cute 117 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,280 that I was like, I want to remember this moment. 118 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:45,920 Interesting. 119 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,320 And that's one of the snapshots I have in my mind. 120 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:49,440 So it's funny that you brought that up. 121 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:54,960 Well, before we start listing off things that could help 122 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,800 everyone across the board. 123 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,000 Was I getting ahead of myself? 124 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:00,640 Yes. 125 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:02,560 Yes, you were. 126 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:07,840 I feel like we have to talk about the reason why we're not. 127 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:08,960 Right? 128 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:09,280 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 129 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,840 So the world is obviously fast paced. 130 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,480 But I wrote this in the Instagram post because I think 131 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:20,960 a lot of people, Carly, just say they don't have anxiety. 132 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:21,760 So they don't have it. 133 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,560 I don't. 134 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,120 Everybody has a form of anxiety. 135 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,120 It's it's another word for stress. 136 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,200 Some people have it so much that they need medication to 137 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,440 even out the chemicals and all that stuff. 138 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,360 Everybody has small stressors. 139 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,360 Their anxiety is just an alarm that your body gives off. 140 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,560 And what it does is it puts you thinking of the future and 141 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,960 nine times out of 10 worrying about the future. 142 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,560 It's not like a positive alarm. 143 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,080 Oh, I'm a worrier for sure. 144 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,440 Yeah, that's called anxiety, Carly. 145 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:50,800 I just fix it with wine. 146 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:52,480 Can you help? 147 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:53,360 Can you all help me? 148 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:55,840 Can you? 149 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:58,640 This is what this is why this. 150 00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,120 So. 151 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:05,360 Anxiety is truly the antipasys of what this episode is about. 152 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,760 It's about our anxiety. 153 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:11,120 It's worrying about things that have not happened in the future 154 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,120 and all of the ways that you're going to stress out about it. 155 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:17,600 And it's because your body sends an alarm in many different ways. 156 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,200 Everybody receives it differently. 157 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,160 Clenching your teeth. 158 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:20,960 One of the things I do. 159 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:26,320 That it's it's a I get like a heat coming from my neck down to my chest. 160 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,760 You have breath problems. 161 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:28,320 I do it. 162 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,320 You have a hard time breathing sometimes breathing anxiety. 163 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:31,360 It's called breathing anxiety. 164 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,120 It feels like there's an elephant on my chest. 165 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,920 It's really fun when Carly just looks at me and goes, stop it. 166 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,160 I'm like, take a breath. 167 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,400 God, because it makes you have it. 168 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:40,880 Yes. 169 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:41,600 Looking at me. 170 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:41,920 Yes. 171 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:46,080 When you have your breathing anxiety, it gives me anxiety. 172 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,360 But I don't have anxiety. 173 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,040 It just makes me annoyed. 174 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,640 Admitting it is the first step. 175 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:55,920 So I say all of this though, because that keeps you from living in the moment. 176 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:56,400 Right. 177 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,920 And also dwelling on the past. 178 00:05:59,200 --> 00:05:59,840 Oh, yes. 179 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:00,400 Yes. 180 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,280 That's true. 181 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,480 And we all do that. 182 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:09,120 But I say all of that because you have to be able to fix something or to start new and 183 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:12,080 change the way you're already behaving or responding. 184 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,120 You have to understand what you're doing in the now. 185 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,320 At the current time. 186 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:21,440 You want me to realize or admit that I have anxiety about certain things. 187 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,240 You don't have to. 188 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:22,960 I can tell you that. 189 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,320 I don't care if you admit it or not. 190 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:25,360 I'm going to tell you how it is. 191 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,560 That's exactly how it is. 192 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,040 But yeah, no, it's with anything. 193 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,400 You can't go to the doctor and make sure you're not in a state of anxiety. 194 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:36,640 And be like, I need this medication without knowing what you have. 195 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:37,120 Right. 196 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:37,280 Right. 197 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:41,120 So to understand that you're not living in the moment, you have to understand why 198 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,000 you're not living in the moment. 199 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:46,000 What is it that always is an intrusive thought in your mind? 200 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:46,960 Are you worrying about the future? 201 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,000 Are you worrying about the past? 202 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,520 Are you constantly worrying about things around you that aren't actually prevalent to 203 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,320 what's happening? 204 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:56,240 I mean, you just have to be able to call out the symptoms is what I'm talking about. 205 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:57,920 Do you know what's horrible? 206 00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,040 You want to hear something horrible? 207 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,400 Everything that you've said so far. 208 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,600 Right. 209 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,640 And not useful. 210 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:03,440 No. 211 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:08,640 I have anxiety about not living in the moment. 212 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:10,400 Isn't that horrible? 213 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:16,400 I, after the fact, have a very sad... 214 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:21,520 Like I just have sad feelings about not being not living in the moment at a time in the past. 215 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:22,720 So you get, you like crash. 216 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:23,760 It's like a drug. 217 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:27,840 Like you're so worried about everybody having fun in that moment and the moment over 218 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,200 and you're crash from the drug. 219 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,480 And then I get so upset that like, I'm like, oh my God, I just missed it. 220 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:37,600 Because I was already thinking about how I needed to make this moment the best moment 221 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:38,880 that I missed the moment. 222 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,120 Did everybody hear that she said she has anxiety then? 223 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:42,960 I'm just using that word. 224 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:43,920 I have thoughts. 225 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,160 I don't know why you're afraid of that word, but it's fine. 226 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:52,160 Because to me, I don't know if this is for anybody else, but to me, anxiety is like a word 227 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,840 that everybody's using now. 228 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,520 And I want to find a different word for what I feel. 229 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,840 Because I don't know if it's anxiety or not. 230 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,000 And I feel like everyone just uses that as a pass. 231 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,120 Like, oh my kid has anxiety or I have anxiety about that. 232 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,680 No, I'm worried about that or I... 233 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:12,000 So worrying, anxiety, stressed, triggered. 234 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:12,560 That's true. 235 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,120 Trauma. 236 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:14,080 I hate the word triggered. 237 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:14,480 Upset. 238 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,880 You're also just hearing about it more. 239 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:17,120 I think, yeah. 240 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,240 Because people are talking about it. 241 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,280 No, I think that's true. 242 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,160 It's been something that has been so taboo, just like therapy. 243 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:22,800 It's so taboo. 244 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:23,520 Don't talk about that. 245 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,080 You need therapy. 246 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:24,880 There's something wrong with you. 247 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:26,160 You have anxiety. 248 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,040 There's something wrong with you. 249 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:27,600 You have depression. 250 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:28,480 There's something wrong with you. 251 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,800 Everybody has all of it. 252 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:31,120 Yeah. 253 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,160 It's how you manage it. 254 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,640 But this society, as much as we're like, 255 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,640 there's a lot of wrong going on in the world, 256 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,720 I think this generation is a little bit more open 257 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,480 to talking about mental health. 258 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,560 Yeah, which is what we talked about in the last podcast. 259 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:45,840 Like with COVID and everything, 260 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:51,280 mental health has skyrocketed in how to handle it. 261 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,520 Like companies have better programs 262 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:54,960 to deal with people's mental health. 263 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,480 People are talking about mental health 264 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:57,840 way more than they ever have. 265 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,200 And I think that's a good thing. 266 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:04,480 I just fear that anxiety, the word is overused. 267 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,160 So that's why I feel like to me, 268 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,440 like it's an easy scapegoat. 269 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:11,120 Yes, like we teach kids dance and every kid walks in 270 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,480 because their parents say it all the time, 271 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:13,920 oh, God, I have anxiety about this. 272 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,400 And I'm like, do you have anxiety 273 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:17,840 or are you just hearing that word a lot? 274 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,080 So that's why I have like a problem using that word. 275 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:20,960 That's true. 276 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,200 I think people take a good thing 277 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,520 of understanding something and run with it 278 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:31,600 and then turn it into the masses of now it's like a word to eye roll about. 279 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,160 That we mean? 280 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:32,320 Yeah. 281 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:35,840 In any case, you have it. 282 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:38,080 It's fine. 283 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,600 Whatever you want to feel about it is fine. 284 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,000 You have it to a smaller degree. 285 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,280 You do not need to be medicated. 286 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:43,840 Shut up. 287 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:44,240 It's fine. 288 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:50,400 In any case, talking about the present moment, 289 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,440 I saw an Instagram meme. 290 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:54,400 Yeah, I guess video. 291 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,680 It's just no, it's just like text. 292 00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:00,720 And it said, I want to feel so good that I take a mental health day 293 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,640 because I don't want to be at work and ruin the mood. 294 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:04,720 Say it again. 295 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,480 Like I want to feel so good. 296 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,560 I want to take a mental health day 297 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,160 because I don't want to go to work. 298 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,360 I feel so good. 299 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,880 Not I need a mental health day. 300 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:13,440 I'm stressed. 301 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,400 I need I can't go to work. 302 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,760 You want a good mental health day 303 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,320 because you're just feeling amazing. 304 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:18,800 Yeah. 305 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,640 And I feel like that is such a good way to do a mental health day as well. 306 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,000 I think of mental health days as like, I just can't. 307 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,120 I need to recover. 308 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:27,680 Yes. 309 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:28,400 I need to recover. 310 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,720 I'm having a you know, I'm having a bad day. 311 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:31,680 I'm having a rough day. 312 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:32,480 I can't get out of bed. 313 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:33,840 Whatever whatever it is. 314 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,960 But it could also go if we twist everything. 315 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,400 If you're able to twist your brainwaves to think about things, 316 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,760 a mental health day could be like, 317 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,240 kind of what mom did us do us when we were little. 318 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:44,960 We were little. 319 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,120 Yeah. 320 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,080 We're going shopping. 321 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,520 She didn't want us to go to school. 322 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:48,480 You're not going to school today. 323 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:49,840 We're going to New York to see a Broadway show. 324 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,200 That's why we're so good at math. 325 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,520 We had a lot of mental good health day. 326 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,400 We did. 327 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,200 But we lost those. 328 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:57,920 We have to get the math. 329 00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:58,160 Yeah. 330 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:03,040 So yeah, there are some really good tips that we found. 331 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:07,040 And by we, Carly found all of these. 332 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:11,680 We were on vacation and I was really trying to, for me, 333 00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:13,760 be off my phone as much as I could. 334 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,120 I didn't post a lot. 335 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,920 You may have seen pictures from the shore. 336 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,120 I did not post nearly as much as I would. 337 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:21,680 That's true. 338 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,680 And I took a few days off because to me, 339 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,120 that's just something that I do every day. 340 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:25,840 And people are always like, 341 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,600 oh, I always feel like I'm on your vacation. 342 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,000 And I'm like, I don't like that. 343 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,160 I wanted to take some time off. 344 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:36,880 My phone told me I was down my screen time 89%. 345 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,440 Whoa, 89%. 346 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,680 And I thought I was still on my phone a decent amount. 347 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,080 So that I was like, oh my God, that's how much you're on it. 348 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,720 That's how much I'm on my phone all the time. 349 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:50,000 The fact that I was down 89% of my screen time 350 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,280 and I was still on my phone. 351 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:52,960 I like that that was your wake up call, 352 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,520 but your children saying mommy's face is in the phone 353 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,920 for all of their school reports didn't do it. 354 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,200 It's because we work on the phone to put it. 355 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,560 Can you, can you just clarify? 356 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:03,280 Throw that in there. 357 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,680 I'm not just like taking selfies, like I've said before. 358 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,960 I'm legit posting or working or responding to emails. 359 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,440 But if I heard Dean, my four year old say, 360 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,240 ma, ma, ma, I was trying to avoid that 361 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,680 because he says it all the time. 362 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:19,280 Because I'm constantly not living in the moment. 363 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,400 And it's passing. 364 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,960 And I was, I didn't want that to happen on this vacation. 365 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,760 I wanted to watch you go in the ocean with the kids 366 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:26,880 and me sit on the chair. 367 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,240 And that's what I wanted to be. 368 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:29,280 Exactly what happened. 369 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:29,440 Yeah. 370 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:34,240 So, yes, she had time to look for this article. 371 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:35,520 Thank you. 372 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,440 On my phone, on your phone. 373 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,080 Amazing. 374 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:41,120 So here's the first one. 375 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,080 Monotasking. 376 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:42,960 I know. 377 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:47,680 Monotasking is the opposite of multitasking. 378 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,160 But everyone, here's the thing. 379 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,280 No one can multitask. 380 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,000 Nope. 381 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,400 You're not actually focusing on one thing. 382 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,920 A true, I think, term of multitasking 383 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,120 is putting 100% into a few things at the same time. 384 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,960 But that is impossible to do. 385 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,720 You cannot put 100% into different things 386 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,840 at the exact same time. 387 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,080 Which is something I think I'm going to take away 388 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:08,640 and try that. 389 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:09,600 I sit on my couch. 390 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:10,720 I don't have a dining room table. 391 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:12,720 And so I sit on my couch. 392 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:13,840 And I eat dinner. 393 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:14,800 And I have something on. 394 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,320 Because it's just something to zone out to. 395 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,160 But I'm not actually paying attention to my food. 396 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:18,800 Right. 397 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:19,920 And so I sit on my couch. 398 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,000 And I eat the meal that I've made. 399 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,040 But I'm watching TV. 400 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:23,360 Right. 401 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:24,000 So you're doing zone out. 402 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,040 Two things at once. 403 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:25,280 Two things. 404 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,720 I'm not paying attention to what's in my plate. 405 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,640 And maybe that's why I'm hungry later. 406 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:28,880 Yeah. 407 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:29,920 I tell myself that I'm hungry. 408 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,520 Because I don't remember that I ate 409 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,520 or like my body's not responding to it. 410 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:34,960 I've heard that million times before. 411 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,800 So I'm going to practice that this week. 412 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,200 I'm going to do, every night I'm not putting the TV on. 413 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,160 I'm not going to do anything else. 414 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,120 I'm just going to look at my food and eat. 415 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,640 And see if I can filter that into other things 416 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,080 that I do throughout the day. 417 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,200 But that also means you're alone with your thoughts 418 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,400 while you're eating your dinner. 419 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,680 And that's OK too. 420 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,120 You could be thinking about other things. 421 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,480 You don't have to be like, this green bean is so tasty. 422 00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:58,240 Exactly. 423 00:13:58,240 --> 00:13:59,040 You know what I mean? 424 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,240 Like you're alone with your thoughts. 425 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,720 You don't have to be like, this potato is silky. 426 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,080 I will call him Fred. 427 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:06,880 Yeah. 428 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,120 You just like think about things. 429 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,200 And you know, be mindful. 430 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:11,520 Yeah. 431 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,240 It's like open-eyed meditation basically. 432 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,640 But think of something that you do two things at once 433 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:17,440 all the time. 434 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:18,480 Maybe it's driving. 435 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,320 I drive with the radio off. 436 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,160 So I'm aware of what's going on. 437 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,520 Can't do it, won't do it. 438 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,200 I also do that because our career is loud noises. 439 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,120 And I need quiet. 440 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,280 So if I'm in the car, that's a nice way 441 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:34,800 to just focus on what I'm doing. 442 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,360 And I'm obviously not like, that car's green. 443 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:41,200 Like I'm thinking of things, but I do it in the quiet. 444 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,280 It's such a good way to just be aware. 445 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:43,760 Yeah. 446 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:44,000 All right. 447 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,720 I have a two-fold one. 448 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,720 The first one is smile. 449 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,000 I think it's called a twofer. 450 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:50,560 Twofer. 451 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:51,040 Twofer. 452 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,960 The first one is smile, but do it intentionally. 453 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,240 So stop. 454 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,640 She's smiling like an idiot right now. 455 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:00,480 Intentionally. 456 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:05,680 But if you smile with intention, you will find that 457 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,320 that all of a sudden daily you'll just be smiling, 458 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,360 like not silly smile, but like because you're, 459 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,560 you feel happy. 460 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:13,680 It comes from within. 461 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,160 Yeah. 462 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,960 And the more you do something, the more it becomes routine, 463 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,320 the more it becomes consistent. 464 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,120 And when you smile, it's because you are looking at something 465 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,920 or you're feeling a certain way and it's intentional. 466 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,520 So if you smile more, at first it's going to feel a little silly 467 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:30,000 because you're like, what Victoria just did to me, 468 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,040 sitting and smiling. 469 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,360 But at first you have to think about it. 470 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,680 And second it will just become habit. 471 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,000 And the other part of this to listen, 472 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,240 when you become a better listener, 473 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,160 you are living in the present. 474 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,640 When you are talking to somebody, 475 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,960 I am guilty of this all the time. 476 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,480 I was just going to say, I'm sorry, 477 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,360 who are you saying this for? 478 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:50,320 Yeah, I'm guilty of this. 479 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,800 When somebody is talking, I'm already thinking about 480 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,320 what I'm going to say to them next. 481 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,320 So I'm not listening to the whole thing. 482 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,360 Maybe that's why I don't know anything about any of my family members 483 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,840 because I don't know what they do for careers. 484 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,840 I don't know anything about Justin 485 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,240 because I'm already on to the next thing. 486 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,440 My mind's already going, okay, I got to finish this conversation 487 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,280 because then I got to go to seven other things. 488 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,400 Or I got to make sure that they know that I mean this. 489 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,800 So I'm not actually listening to the full conversation. 490 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:20,800 So if you actively work on being a better listener, 491 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,360 you will be actively working on living in the present 492 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,400 and actually listening to what another person is saying 493 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,640 instead of thinking about your next move. 494 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,240 And just like all the self-awareness 495 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,240 that you're pulling out today. 496 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,240 Meditation! 497 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,240 God damn it. 498 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,240 Meditation. Here's the thing. I'm not great at it. 499 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,240 Yes you are. 500 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,240 No, I'm... oh no, I'm not. 501 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,240 Part of my yoga teacher training, 502 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,240 I'm now in the second round. 503 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,240 It's 300 hours. 504 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,240 It's the same homework we had for the 200 hours. 505 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:54,240 Five minutes of meditation a day for the month. 506 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,240 And then we talk about it. 507 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,240 I can't get through a couple days in a row. 508 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:01,240 Number one, putting it into your schedule is important. 509 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,240 Yeah. Daily. Daily. 510 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,240 You also have to not get frustrated 511 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,240 when you have a million thoughts coming in 512 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,240 and you think you're supposed to have absolutely no thoughts at all. 513 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,240 Kylie's raising her hand really, really high. 514 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:16,240 What I'm learning and what I've been told enough 515 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,240 to it's finally sinking in 516 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:22,240 is that meditation is not to think of absolutely nothing 517 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,240 and have a dark blackness in your mind 518 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,240 and there's nothing happening and then you levitate. 519 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,240 Meditation. 520 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,240 Oh! 521 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,240 Karma. Karma's a B. 522 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,240 She's super fair. 523 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,240 That's what in my mind I'm like, 524 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,240 man I should be meditating so hard right now. 525 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,240 I should be like lifting off the ground. 526 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,240 No. Meditation, the point of it is that 527 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,240 you have thoughts come in. 528 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,240 You acknowledge the thought. 529 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,240 Say, thank you moving on. 530 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,240 Focus on your breath. 531 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,240 And then eventually, not in the one five minute day, 532 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,240 eventually over days and days and days and days of time, 533 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,240 the thoughts become less and less. 534 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,240 Just like the smiles become more and more, 535 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,240 the thoughts become less and less. 536 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,240 It's the sense of awareness and centeredness 537 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,240 and presentness that meditation brings. 538 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,240 The goal is to focus on your breath at all times. 539 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,240 So when it comes to meditation, 540 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,240 I actually count for four and I exhale for four 541 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,240 and that's my focus because my brain is everywhere. 542 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,240 And I get frustrated, then I stop. 543 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,240 And then I get mad, then I stop. 544 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,240 And then the next day I decide to not do it at all. 545 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,240 I've been better since vacation. 546 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,240 Coming home from vacation, which is less than a week. 547 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,240 Making sure I set a timer. 548 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,240 I set a timer for five minutes. 549 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,240 There's a second part to this that is also a separate tip 550 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,240 that I'm going to twofer. 551 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,240 And it's journaling. 552 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,240 Sorry. 553 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,240 So what you do is you meditate for five minutes. 554 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,240 Whatever comes to mind, stream of consciousness, 555 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,240 you write down. 556 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,240 Not necessarily in your meditation, 557 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,240 you have to remember everything you thought about. 558 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,240 You just get a pen, put it to paper, 559 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,240 write some things down. 560 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:00,240 Nine times out of 10, I'm like, 561 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,240 what the heck am I going to write? 562 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,240 And then I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm going to be late for work. 563 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,240 I have to stop writing. 564 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,240 Word vomit, yes. 565 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,240 Because there's so much that comes up 566 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,240 that you don't, we're not aware of. 567 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,240 So the more the meditation happens 568 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,240 and the more the gratitude journaling, 569 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,240 a lot of it's, you can do it in the morning 570 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,240 for how you want to start your day. 571 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,240 You could also finish the end of the day with it. 572 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,240 That's the second piece of meditation. 573 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,240 It doesn't have to be sitting in the quiet with, you know, 574 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:26,240 a mudra. 575 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,240 I'm sorry. 576 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,240 A mudra? 577 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,240 Well, I didn't, I didn't move like a cow. 578 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,240 Like you did. 579 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,240 The hexa mudra. 580 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,240 It's called a mudra. 581 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:38,240 Oh my God, you're the problem with the world. 582 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,240 No, but I am the stereotype of yoga. 583 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,240 When you talk about the meditation, 584 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,240 the shavasana is the death of me. 585 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,240 When it's supposed to be like bringing you back to life, 586 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,240 it is the death of me because I'm, 587 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,240 I have such a hard time. 588 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:52,240 You need to think of your breath. 589 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,240 You need to just say inhale and exhale. 590 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,240 That's all work. 591 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,240 Like say those words in your head. 592 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:57,240 Inhale, exhale. 593 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:58,240 That's what I'm going to do. 594 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,240 That's what I'm going to do the next shavasana. 595 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,240 A mudra, look it up. 596 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,240 It's a hand motion. 597 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,240 It's like a power pose for your hands. 598 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:06,240 So just look it up. 599 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,240 I'm not explaining that. 600 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,240 The more you meditate, 601 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,240 the more enlightened you feel and where you feel. 602 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,240 And the more you will learn to be in the present moment 603 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,240 because you get aware of your body or aware of your breath, 604 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,240 you're aware of the sounds around you. 605 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,240 You become aware of the smells around you. 606 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,240 And you're not really focusing on that to begin with. 607 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,240 It just, that's what comes from it. 608 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:28,240 The next one, be grateful for what you have now. 609 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,240 That is a huge one, I think, for living in the now. 610 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,240 It went along with journaling. 611 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,240 I was going to suggest you do it at the end of the day. 612 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,240 Look at your day and look at what you have. 613 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,240 Like as we've said before, 614 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,240 it's less than other people. 615 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,240 It's more than other people. 616 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,240 But what if you're not grateful for what you have right now, 617 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,240 you're never going to live in the present 618 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,240 because you're always going to be thinking about that next move, 619 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,240 that next step. 620 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:56,240 What can I do right now to get me to that other thing? 621 00:20:56,240 --> 00:21:00,240 And so I think all you have is now, right now is all you have. 622 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,240 Be grateful for it. 623 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,240 You can get hit by a bus right now. 624 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:04,240 Yeah. 625 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,240 Walking out of here. 626 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,240 There are no buses on the street. 627 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:11,240 But that's that whole like, you may not wake up tomorrow. 628 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:16,240 That could 100% be accurate in any way, shape and form. 629 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:21,240 So why are we stressing about tomorrow when it's not promised? 630 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,240 I know it may not come. 631 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:26,240 I just feel like all of this will just make you feel lighter 632 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,240 for lack of a better word. 633 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,240 Like just think about being grateful. 634 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,240 Are you yelling at yourself? 635 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:32,240 Yeah. 636 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,240 I'm like, literally, where's the mirror? 637 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,240 Like just be happy for what you have. 638 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:39,240 What are those one that Instagram meme talking about Instagram 639 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,240 that says like, do you have a roof over your head? 640 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,240 Do you have a family that loves you? 641 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,240 Do you have food on the table? 642 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:46,240 Guess what? 643 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,240 You're good. 644 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,240 You're good. 645 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,240 Yeah. 646 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:50,240 That's a really good life. 647 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,240 You have friends. 648 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:52,240 Awesome. 649 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:53,240 That's an amazing life. 650 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,240 Be happy for that. 651 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:55,240 Be thankful for that. 652 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,240 And that's living in the present, which is sometimes hard to do 653 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,240 when you're always wanting the next thing more and more and more. 654 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,240 I think of that every time I fill up my water bottle. 655 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,240 I'm not a, I'm not a water aficionado. 656 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,240 Like all water tastes the same. 657 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,240 Wait, wait, wait. 658 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:11,240 Can you say that aficionado? 659 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,240 I say it like mom is wrong. 660 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:14,240 You do. 661 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,240 It's aficionado. 662 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:21,240 But dad's making fun of us for that because apparently mom's been saying it wrong for like 663 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,240 70 years. 664 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:26,240 Wait, aficionado sounds like some Latin lover. 665 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:33,240 I'm going out with aficionado tonight. 666 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:34,240 I'm mad at everything. 667 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:38,240 Well, in any case, I hate you. 668 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:42,240 And also all water tastes the same to me. 669 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:50,240 When I fill up my bottle from my tap water, I think of Flint, Michigan, who has had horrible 670 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,240 water for years. 671 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,240 I watched the documentary years ago on Netflix. 672 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:59,240 I don't think it's changed any and their water is they have to buy bottles. 673 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,240 And I think about that all the time and I'm like, God, I'm so lucky. 674 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,240 I'm so lucky. 675 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:04,240 And that's just water. 676 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:05,240 Water. 677 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,240 I know. 678 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,240 So what we have, we should, we have so much. 679 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,240 We literally have so much. 680 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,240 Yeah. 681 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,240 We could use a lot less. 682 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:15,240 Yes. 683 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:16,240 Have you seen your closet? 684 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,240 Whoa, whoa, whoa, not clothes. 685 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:18,240 Just other stuff. 686 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,240 This is also not talking about material items. 687 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,240 Noticing what you have around you. 688 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,240 Notice how you're feeling. 689 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,240 Notice the feels you have. 690 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,240 That's I mean, literally, I was sitting on the beach. 691 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:32,240 I was talking about that snapshot and I was thinking I was looking at the circle of my 692 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,240 family. 693 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,240 You know, the kids were in the ocean. 694 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:39,240 Andrew was playing with the kids and I was like, Andrew is building sandcastle. 695 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,240 Actually, Victoria was building sandcastles with the kids. 696 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,240 Andrew was playing soccer by himself. 697 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:48,240 That's when I thought about this podcast because I was like, man, look at what we have. 698 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,240 I'm sitting on the beach. 699 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,240 Wow, lucky am I. 700 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:56,240 Like get off your phone, look around and just be grateful. 701 00:23:56,240 --> 00:24:00,240 And then the moment passed and I posted a selfie, but I think Dean said, mom, mom, mom. 702 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,240 I was like, God darn it, Dean. 703 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,240 You're ruining the moment. 704 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,240 This one is simple enough, right? 705 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,240 It reduced distractions. 706 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:15,240 And I would say the biggest distraction is people's computers and phones and stuff like 707 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,240 that. 708 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:23,240 So a very obvious way is at dinner time at home and at a restaurant with your family or 709 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,240 even if you live by yourself, put your phone in the other room. 710 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,240 I know. 711 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:33,240 Take the distraction away so that even if it rings, it's in another room. 712 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,240 You'll get to it right after dinner. 713 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,240 And the temptation to just grab it with your hand. 714 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:39,240 Oh, let me just check this real quick. 715 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,240 No, you don't have to do that. 716 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,240 No, you really don't have to do that. 717 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,240 I know. 718 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,240 We do that all the time. 719 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,240 Like the kids will be at dinner and saying, oh, what's the weather going to be like tomorrow 720 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,240 and Andrew will grab his phone and check the weather. 721 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:49,240 I'm like, we don't need to know right now. 722 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,240 Yeah. 723 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,240 We're at dinner. 724 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,240 You don't need to pick up your phone and check the weather. 725 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:53,240 That's not something we need right now. 726 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:54,240 Yeah. 727 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,240 You just ask mom because she tells us the weather all the time. 728 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,240 But that's an easy one. 729 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,240 Like reducing a distraction where you're not in the present moment. 730 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:07,240 Reducing a distraction if it's an unhealthy person in your life. 731 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,240 Yeah. 732 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,240 Get rid of the toxicity person that goes deep. 733 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:14,240 But it doesn't have to just be cell phones, even though that's probably the easiest one 734 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,240 and the most distracting for everybody across the board. 735 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:21,240 Get rid of it for the moment you want to be in the present, even if it's just a conversation 736 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,240 with someone on the porch. 737 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,240 Don't bring the phone with you. 738 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,240 Yeah, why? 739 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,240 We didn't have that 50 years ago. 740 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,240 Why do you need it? 741 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:31,240 And I think we knew each other and connected better 50 years ago because of these phones. 742 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:35,240 As much as it's great that you can look up anything on Google and have an answer. 743 00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:39,240 But take the distraction away to actually connect with the people around you or connect 744 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,240 to yourself or live in the moment. 745 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,240 You don't have to go sit in the grass. 746 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:45,240 Yeah. 747 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:49,240 Just take away what usually takes up most of your time and your focus. 748 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:53,240 And your next tip is called mindful scrolling. 749 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:58,240 So when you are done with that cell phone distraction, you pick the phone back up. 750 00:25:58,240 --> 00:25:59,240 You pick the phone back up. 751 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:00,240 Okay. 752 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:06,240 So when you are at the end of the night in bed on the phone or in the morning, like 753 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:11,240 just say that's when you scroll, like when normal people do, mindfully do it. 754 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:15,240 Honestly, realize, hey, I'm on my phone scrolling on TikTok. 755 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,240 Say it out loud. 756 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:18,240 Yeah, say it out loud. 757 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,240 Think about why you're doing it. 758 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,240 Are you doing it to zone out? 759 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:23,240 Cool. 760 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,240 Put a limit to it. 761 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,240 15, 20 minutes. 762 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:29,240 Put a limit to the scrolling and make sure you realize why you're scrolling. 763 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:33,480 So it sort of tries to take away from when you're sitting at a red light and you pick 764 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:37,920 up your phone because you can't, you can't wait that two minutes at a red light. 765 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,000 You got to pick up your phone and scroll. 766 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,000 Mindfully scroll. 767 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,920 Be aware of when you're scrolling. 768 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:43,920 Why you're scrolling. 769 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:44,920 Are you sad? 770 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:45,920 Are you happy? 771 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:51,000 Because if you're sad and you're scrolling, everything you're seeing is going to be toxic. 772 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,440 Everything you're seeing is going to make you upset. 773 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,120 It's going to make you feel bad about yourself. 774 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:55,120 Are you happy? 775 00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:56,120 Sure. 776 00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:57,120 Are you finding recipes? 777 00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:58,120 Awesome. 778 00:26:58,120 --> 00:26:59,880 Mindful scrolls. 779 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:04,480 So just be aware of when, how often and try to do it less. 780 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:05,480 I like that. 781 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:06,480 Yaw. 782 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:07,480 I like that. 783 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,480 Breathwork. 784 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:09,480 Carly, go away. 785 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:10,480 Stop. 786 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:11,480 You're not. 787 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:12,480 You're not. 788 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:18,480 There's a lot of different ways to practice breathing, which sounds ridiculous, but let 789 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:19,480 me tell you something. 790 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,360 It is the only thing keeping you alive. 791 00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:22,360 Done zone. 792 00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:24,360 So you have to practice. 793 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:27,120 You just snort. 794 00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:29,240 I'm so mad at you. 795 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,240 Are you having anxiety? 796 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:31,960 You thinking about what you're going to say to me? 797 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:35,720 I'm having an anger attack, actually. 798 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:43,560 Working on your breath is the most important thing and probably then the most self-care 799 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,280 thing you could do for yourself. 800 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:46,280 How do you do that? 801 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:47,440 It's just focusing on it. 802 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:48,840 How do you focus on it? 803 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,040 It's also called a meditative moment. 804 00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:56,280 So sitting and working on your breath is counting in for four, counting out for four, or maybe 805 00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:02,320 it's box breathing, counting in for four, holding it for four, letting it go for four, 806 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:06,520 holding it for four, and doing it a few times. 807 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:07,880 And in that moment, what are you doing? 808 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,240 You're not thinking about your computer. 809 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:10,960 You can't count your breath and do that. 810 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,720 You're thinking about your breath and your breath only. 811 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,560 What that does is it changes your brain waves. 812 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:15,560 It changes. 813 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,920 It's like so much neuroscience attached to all of this. 814 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,720 And there's so many other podcasts you can listen to that like Mel Robbins. 815 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,880 She talks about this all the time. 816 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:28,720 It's behind it all that it changes your reactions. 817 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,000 It changes your behaviors. 818 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,160 It changes how you think about things. 819 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:38,160 It has you listen more before speaking because you're so aware. 820 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:45,240 You just become more in tuned because we're so not in sync to what's going on. 821 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:46,440 Do not sing an intake song. 822 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,000 I'm so mad at you. 823 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:54,800 It makes me ill sometimes when I don't work on my breath. 824 00:28:54,800 --> 00:29:00,440 Makes me ill to see you give love and attention at his will. 825 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:01,440 You can imagine. 826 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,240 No, but it actually... 827 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:04,240 Are you dying? 828 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:05,240 It makes me feel. 829 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:06,240 You sound scared. 830 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,200 I'm singing. 831 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:10,080 I am not a good breather. 832 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:11,200 We all know that. 833 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,080 And I am very reactive. 834 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:18,280 And I am reactive because in the moment, I don't take the time to breathe, which is 835 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,280 actually what I tell the kids. 836 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:24,840 We work on breathing when they're having a temper tantrum and we play a game with shapes 837 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:26,200 and colors that I made up. 838 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:30,800 And I was pretty genius of me to make up, but I don't do it myself. 839 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:37,640 So I am a very reactive person because I don't have great breath work. 840 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:38,640 Work on your breath. 841 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,960 And I'm going to link stuff in the show notes of how you can do that if you have absolutely 842 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,600 no idea how to even start thinking about that stuff. 843 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:52,040 Yoga is a really good place because it's all about breathing, poses and asanas are secondary. 844 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:59,840 With that, it attaches to working on self-compassion, which I didn't think would be a part of this. 845 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,000 But at the end of this article, it talks about self-compassion. 846 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:06,400 I really want you guys to look into the links that we're going to attach to the show notes. 847 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:14,240 And because working on self-compassion isn't working on being present with yourself as 848 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,480 much as being present with the difficulties you're having. 849 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:22,920 Because in another way to put it, you have to work through the dark to feel the lightness. 850 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:23,920 Yeah, I like that better. 851 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,160 So that's what self-compassion is. 852 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:31,120 It's allowing yourself to go through the motions of feeling the emotions you're feeling. 853 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,280 I was just going to say that. 854 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:36,760 And the more you do that, the more you have empathy for others. 855 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,360 The more you have empathy for others, you're in service to others. 856 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,840 The more you're in service to others, the world is quite literally a better place. 857 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:49,840 Like it's so hippie, dippy, woo woo, all the derogatory things you want to think about 858 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:56,240 spirituality of just being better for yourself and thinking about other people. 859 00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:06,760 So self-compassion is a wonderful way to practice working through not putting aside the negativity 860 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:11,040 or the negative feelings you have over something, the reactiveness that you have without working 861 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:14,800 on your breath and thinking and being aware, talking out loud. 862 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:15,800 Why do I feel this way? 863 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:16,800 What am I feeling? 864 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,800 Is this actually my bad feeling or is my feeling it for somebody else? 865 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:21,800 It is my bad feeling. 866 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:22,960 I don't feel great about this. 867 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:23,960 Why don't I feel like you? 868 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,640 It's just having the conversation. 869 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:31,320 I think part of the problem with people today is they are afraid to feel things. 870 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,120 Nobody wants to feel things. 871 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:34,560 Nobody wants to feel sad. 872 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,880 So they push it off by pushing it off makes the bigger problem. 873 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:42,960 Especially with younger, I mean, I'm talking kids, they don't want to feel. 874 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:48,440 And when they feel they go down such a dark hole because they're not used to feeling that 875 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,000 they think it's that's it. 876 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,000 It's the end. 877 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,000 Yeah. 878 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:58,280 You know, and you have to be able to feel in the now to change and to fix stuff. 879 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:04,480 And my next one was showing acceptance, showing acceptance and letting things go, feeling 880 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:07,560 the feeling and letting it go. 881 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,160 If you don't feel the feeling, you hold on to it. 882 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:11,640 You will never move on. 883 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:15,640 You will never be present because you're always holding on to those dark thoughts. 884 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,400 And it's also good thoughts, too. 885 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:22,560 Like showing acceptance for the good things. 886 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:23,960 They're not always going to be that good. 887 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,120 So you can't just hold on to the good things hoping that they're always this good. 888 00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:28,120 You've got to let them go. 889 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:29,360 You've got to move on. 890 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,760 And feeling is hard. 891 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:32,760 Feeling is hard. 892 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:43,400 Well, feeling is feeling is easy and frequent and and wavering, acknowledging what you're 893 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:47,760 feeling is hard because we're all feeling things at all times every second, whether 894 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,840 they're good, they're bad, they're ugly. 895 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,880 It's understanding the feelings is the hard part. 896 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:56,200 Mel Robbins calls it the let them theory. 897 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,680 Let them let them. 898 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:01,120 Everybody goes to lunch and didn't invite you. 899 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,120 Let them. 900 00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:04,120 Ouch. 901 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,320 Everybody's going to the movies and you didn't get that phone call. 902 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:07,320 Let them. 903 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,520 You invited them to a holiday and they declined and went to somebody else's. 904 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:11,520 Let them. 905 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:12,520 Stop. 906 00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:13,760 And you will. 907 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:14,760 You will. 908 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,760 It's the same token of letting go. 909 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:23,000 Not necessarily not caring, but not holding on to that, to why that feels so bad. 910 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:29,160 It's basically detachment and not attaching to the expectations you put on those moments, 911 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:30,160 right? 912 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:31,760 Like that's that hit hard. 913 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:32,760 But let them. 914 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:36,960 Yeah, because listen, we don't have friends to invite us anywhere anyway. 915 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:37,960 So we let them all. 916 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,680 Yeah, we all of you guys are off the hook because we don't have any friends. 917 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:46,640 But if we did and they didn't invite us somewhere, I understand. 918 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,360 But you know what I mean? 919 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:49,360 Yes. 920 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:57,880 Like don't get so worked up and hold on to the the worked upness of basically these 921 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,160 small emotions that we grasp onto so tightly. 922 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,640 Yeah, you know. 923 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:10,640 Last tip and trick for living in the moment is forgive the past. 924 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:11,640 Forgive what's in the past. 925 00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:16,200 Sort of what I just said about showing acceptance for where you are right now. 926 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:20,080 Forgive things in the past or else you will never be able to move on. 927 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,320 If you can't move on, you are not living in the now. 928 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,760 So it's a hard thing to do. 929 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,720 I think the hardest because you can just say, Hey, forgive, just forgive. 930 00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:34,120 It's not it's a lot harder than it is to just say. 931 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:37,080 It's just basically let go and choose to be present. 932 00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:38,960 And that's something that you have to choose. 933 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:40,760 Nobody can choose it for you. 934 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:41,840 You have to forgive. 935 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,320 Nobody can forgive for you. 936 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,640 But it's something that you have to do on your own. 937 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,720 Are you saying that to me? 938 00:34:47,720 --> 00:34:51,880 It's something that you have to. 939 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:57,440 It's true and it is so hard because we have we have attached ourselves to the expectation 940 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,640 of whatever something disappointed us with. 941 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:05,000 I had something happen to me in high school, actually, which we might talk about on another 942 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:11,520 podcast and it was done to me and that is their fault. 943 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:16,960 The impact that I have held on to for all these years, that's my fault because I have 944 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:23,240 never forgiven what happened and that I've never moved on from it. 945 00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:27,280 So I think that is as hard as that is. 946 00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:32,320 You'll never truly be able to live in the moment if you can't if you can't forgive and 947 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,280 let it go because their fault, they did it. 948 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,240 It is your fault that you held on to it. 949 00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:39,120 You know what helps with that, though? 950 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:40,120 Therapy. 951 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:41,120 Yeah. 952 00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:42,120 Boom. 953 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,560 No, you can't just like boom it. 954 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,720 You gotta like go do it. 955 00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:53,080 It's not a big trauma, but it was something that I've been I've held on to it. 956 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:54,080 It is. 957 00:35:54,080 --> 00:36:00,680 It's a trauma that I've just held on to and it is hard for me to get past certain events, 958 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:06,000 certain feelings, certain people because I've never I've never fully moved on from that, 959 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,200 but that's my fault. 960 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:13,680 The impact is that it's had on me is my fault and that's something that I have to let go 961 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:18,240 to live in the now and that's what I'm all about at 37 living in the now because you 962 00:36:18,240 --> 00:36:20,160 never know. 963 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:31,680 I think we all know that it's time for Carly on the spot. 964 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:36,320 If you listen to the blooper reel, you'll understand what she's referencing. 965 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:41,440 So if you haven't listened to episode 29 blooper, go do that now. 966 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:44,520 But we're still playing Carly on the spot. 967 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:50,400 So a big piece of anything you want to change in your life is accountability. 968 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:55,320 So whether you are able and have the power to hold yourself accountable, that's amazing. 969 00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:57,040 If not, you usually go to somebody else. 970 00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:05,040 So we are all the fit to be real squad going to hold Carly accountable. 971 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:06,360 She does not look happy. 972 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,200 I have to tell you all she looks really, really upset. 973 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:14,400 And I hate being on the spot to continue. 974 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:22,680 And we would all like to know what you are going to practice for one full week out of 975 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:30,160 everything that we said, what you are actually going to make an actionable change for seven 976 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:31,160 days. 977 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,240 And we next episode, we're talking about it. 978 00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:34,240 Okay. 979 00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:37,920 Give me a sec in the now. 980 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,160 We talked about so much. 981 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:43,080 I, yeah, I know. 982 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,800 Well, tell us. 983 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:49,920 It's not something that you guys are going to be able to see, though, because it's something 984 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:52,080 that I really want to do. 985 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:53,640 You're not going to be able to see it. 986 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:55,640 Say it and I'll tell you how you're wrong. 987 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:56,640 Okay. 988 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,080 I want to be a better active listener. 989 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:03,080 And not think about what I'm going to say next. 990 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:06,480 But you're not going to be able to see it, so you're just going to have to trust me. 991 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,120 Well, none of us are going to do that. 992 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,080 No, none of us are going to trust you. 993 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,960 So saying it out loud to your not actually saying it out loud because you might be a 994 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,560 little weird in conversations. 995 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:21,440 Victoria, I'm listening to you right now and I'm not thinking of anything else. 996 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:24,040 No, but just like food tracking. 997 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,040 Maybe you track it. 998 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:30,120 You get your phone out and you either put the name of the person you were talking to 999 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:31,120 as a reminder. 1000 00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,200 I listened to them in this conversation. 1001 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:37,000 So you realize, well, gee, I talked to like 30 people. 1002 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:40,120 Obviously, we are in service with people, so we talked to a lot of people. 1003 00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:42,960 I talked to 30 people today and I have 10 names down. 1004 00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:43,960 That's pretty good. 1005 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:44,960 Yeah. 1006 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,680 10 out of 30, the me remembering the conversation and what they were saying because that meant 1007 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:49,680 I noticed I was listening. 1008 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:50,680 Right. 1009 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:51,680 So that's how you track it. 1010 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:52,680 I'll do that. 1011 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,920 That's something that I've always wanted to work on because I'm not a great, I'm a good 1012 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:56,920 listener. 1013 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:58,400 I'm not a good active listener. 1014 00:38:58,400 --> 00:38:59,400 Yay. 1015 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:00,400 Karly on the spot. 1016 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:01,400 Spot. 1017 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:02,400 Spot. 1018 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:05,400 If I win, we'll find out in the next episode. 1019 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:12,440 We'll find out in seven days. 1020 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:17,840 So for your real tip, it's called just do it. 1021 00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:18,840 Monotasking. 1022 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:20,480 Pick something out of your days. 1023 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,400 So take something for yourself. 1024 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:23,600 Monotask it. 1025 00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:27,640 And obviously the accountability piece is tracking it or maybe find a buddy and talk 1026 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,320 about it so that you can check in. 1027 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,760 But there's got to be a piece of accountability or else you'll do it for one day and you'll 1028 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:34,280 never do it again. 1029 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:41,720 And now for your real extra tip of the week, it's called stop and smell the roses. 1030 00:39:41,720 --> 00:39:44,800 What does stop and smell the roses mean? 1031 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,640 It means, Victoria's just rolling her eyes. 1032 00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:51,960 It means mindful walk or mindful run. 1033 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:55,800 And this comes from an accident while we were down the shore. 1034 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,880 My AirPods died while I was on a run. 1035 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,840 And I wanted to turn around and go home because there's no way. 1036 00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:03,560 I, number one, hate running. 1037 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:04,560 Sorry, runners. 1038 00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:05,560 I'm not a good runner. 1039 00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:07,400 I do it when I have to. 1040 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:11,320 And I definitely can't run or walk without listening to something. 1041 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:12,320 But I had to. 1042 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:13,320 I didn't have a choice. 1043 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:18,320 But you don't realize the things that you think about when you are alone with your 1044 00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:19,320 thoughts. 1045 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,840 I had nothing else to do when I was running except think. 1046 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,360 And it totally changed my run. 1047 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:26,760 But it was really hard. 1048 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:30,040 It made it nine million times worse, but I did it. 1049 00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:33,920 And afterwards I was like, wow, I never do that. 1050 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:35,680 And it was really cool and different. 1051 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:40,600 So even if you want to go with a friend on a 10 minute walk and you guys just talk, that's 1052 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:41,600 human interaction. 1053 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:42,600 Do it. 1054 00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:43,600 Stop and smell the roses. 1055 00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:47,720 Go for a walk by yourself as much as we want you to listen to this podcast on your hot 1056 00:40:47,720 --> 00:40:50,480 girl walk for 10 minutes. 1057 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,000 Listen to nothing and be alone with your thoughts. 1058 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,000 And honestly, you might actually smell the roses. 1059 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:59,320 Well, we hope this helps you. 1060 00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:00,320 We hope you know. 1061 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,320 Oh, you were so delco. 1062 00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:03,320 Say that again. 1063 00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,920 We hope you know. 1064 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:20,480 And remember that you're always fit to be real and always allowed to be a little extra. 1065 00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:29,200 I'll call you on pale on my phone with my tail with my tail and we'll laugh and drink 1066 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:30,200 some water. 1067 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:31,200 So hard. 1068 00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,240 We don't even talk like that. 1069 00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:35,800 You said hard in the weirdest way. 1070 00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:37,800 We're going to laugh so hard. 1071 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:42,640 Murder, murder, I'm going to murder, murder you. 1072 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:45,400 How fun is this moment? 1073 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:46,400 Let's remember it. 1074 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:47,400 Snapshot. 1075 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:48,400 Click. 1076 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:52,520 I'm going to remember this forever. 1077 00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,280 What is that the south? 1078 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:56,280 I think so. 1079 00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,880 I'm from southern Pennsylvania. 1080 00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:00,880 Is there a south Pennsylvania? 1081 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,040 I think we're in. 1082 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:04,880 I don't want to remember this moment anymore. 1083 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:05,880 Moving on. 1084 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:06,880 Moving on. 1085 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:11,640 For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and 1086 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,440 educational purposes only. 1087 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:17,800 We are not healthcare professionals for all of your health, wellness, fitness and self 1088 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:18,800 care needs. 1089 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,840 Please refer to the medical professional in your life, your primary care physician, your 1090 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,520 therapist, a certified coach, whoever it may be. 1091 00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:30,680 And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know what to do. 1092 00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:31,680 Okay? 1093 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:48,720 Okay, bye.