1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,440 Welcome to Fit to Be Real and a little extra. 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,520 Oh, it's gonna be really extra today. 3 00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:06,600 Yes, it is. 4 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:07,760 We are, oh, very good. 5 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:08,600 Thank you. 6 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:13,600 We are talking relationships and how you, to find one. 7 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,160 Yes. 8 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:20,160 And I wanted to name it relationship, station ship. 9 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:21,840 But Victoria nicks that. 10 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,560 Because there's no explanation for how that makes sense 11 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:25,560 to anything. 12 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:26,400 It rhymes. 13 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,160 Like, are you stationary in your relationship? 14 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,280 I actually am. 15 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,120 This is true. 16 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:31,960 This is true. 17 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,240 So all right, that kind of work. 18 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,240 Let's get into it. 19 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:35,080 Yeah. 20 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:35,920 Yeah. 21 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:40,240 I'm Victoria. 22 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,240 Hey guys, I'm Carly. 23 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:44,560 Nice. 24 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:45,400 Did you like that? 25 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,720 I went like up and then down. 26 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,800 Like, I wonder if you did this first amendment, Andrew, 27 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,320 that it would pan out well. 28 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,840 I feel like you're really lucky. 29 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,800 That order was different. 30 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:02,440 So just to clarify, we are talking relationships 31 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:06,160 and we are going to dive into how Carly snagged Andrew. 32 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:11,160 But it is also kind of how dating works in 2023 33 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:16,720 and how different it is than even 20 years ago, 34 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,880 10 years ago, five years ago, I feel like. 35 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:19,720 Yeah. 36 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,360 Victoria is going to probably school me in all things. 37 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,840 Swiping. 38 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:25,680 Swiper. 39 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:26,520 No, swiping. 40 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,520 That's all I think of. 41 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,120 That's all I wanted to say. 42 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,640 We can stop the episode now. 43 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,280 That's really all I wanted to say. 44 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:37,200 Because she was the expert on it and I tried to learn. 45 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,240 I tried to. 46 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,280 Because I never. 47 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,320 You're horrible at it. 48 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:42,640 I know. 49 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,840 I didn't know how to do it. 50 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:46,800 I never did it. 51 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:50,280 I never did the swiping or I never did the online. 52 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,960 So I went about it as person to person 53 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,600 and there are rules that I did not know. 54 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,160 They're not like real rules. 55 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,920 They are just like understood. 56 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,640 Well, when you see a person with a bird on his shoulder 57 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,920 and his head and his other shoulder, like, no, Carly, 58 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,200 I don't want to go on a date with that person. 59 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,240 Don't swipe yes to that. 60 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:09,440 But why? 61 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,240 You don't know because you're going to murder me. 62 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,760 Oh, that's why. 63 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,600 Duh. 64 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:16,760 So we'll get into that. 65 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:21,240 Carly was my catfish for a little bit 66 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,880 and quickly that ended. 67 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,520 Well, because yeah, we will talk about that. 68 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,440 She just thinks everyone's nice and lovely. 69 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,400 Yeah, the problem. 70 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,320 So let's start here. 71 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:38,480 Let's get behind the scenes of why you have no idea really 72 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,880 the gravity of all the apps and all the things. 73 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:41,920 I like how you put that. 74 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:45,440 Why you have no idea what we're talking about today. 75 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,040 Listen, be happy, be grateful, be thankful. 76 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:53,840 You have no idea what's going on in this swiping world of 2023. 77 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,040 When did you meet Andrew? 78 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,480 You were 19, but what year was it? 79 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,240 It was 2005. 80 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:02,040 OK, some of these apps started it like the brand new. 81 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,160 Like OK Cupid 2005. 82 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,480 2000. That's when they started. 83 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:06,240 Came on the scene. 84 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:10,280 So like it wasn't even in your wheelhouse. 85 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,800 No, wheel. Yeah, it wasn't in my wheelhouse. 86 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:16,720 I had a Nokia phone that only played snake. 87 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:17,960 Yeah. And texted. 88 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,320 So like I wouldn't have even been able to swipe. 89 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:22,320 Well, they weren't apps. 90 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:22,880 Oh, that's right. 91 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:23,680 It was a computer. 92 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,480 It was like emailing. 93 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,480 It was an online website, but it wasn't like an application. 94 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:29,400 That's right. That's right. 95 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,960 That's right. So you would have, but you know, not on Nokia. 96 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:36,600 I met Andrew in 2005 in the Poconos doing theater. 97 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:40,160 We were doing, I said this before, my mom hired him. 98 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:45,760 My mom's the director, our mom, and she directed at a theater every summer. 99 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,200 Auditions were in New York. 100 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,960 Andrew happened to audition for her. 101 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,080 He got hired and that's how we met. 102 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:56,240 We, it was like summer house slash, what is it called? 103 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,000 What? Not road rules. 104 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,560 The real world. The real world. 105 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:06,480 If there had been cameras, we all lived in a house that was three stories, 16 bedrooms. 106 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:13,160 There were 30 of us and we all lived there from May to September, but not glamorous. 107 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:18,520 No, it was like an old house that like didn't work, but there were 16 bedrooms 108 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,720 and three bathrooms for all these people. 109 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,040 Some of the cast were the mice in the walls. 110 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,640 There was a snake one. There was a snake one. 111 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,840 But we loved it because we were working at a theater together and then we were living together. 112 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:31,720 So you sort of. 113 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,840 You what like gung-ho two feet in because you were living together. 114 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,520 Yeah, that's what I mean. It's very different. 115 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,600 It was, it wasn't normal. 116 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,160 What do you get catapulted? 117 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,760 That's not even the right word, but like because we were living and working 118 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:50,000 together from the day that we met within two weeks, we were dating. 119 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:55,040 And it was like a full on relationship because it had been two weeks of 24 seven. 120 00:04:55,920 --> 00:05:00,080 Yes, which there were no other jobs to leave each other to. 121 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,320 There was no other house to go to. 122 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:07,400 Life was morning, noon, night every single day together and then for months. 123 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:12,440 Yeah. So then after the Shawnee because she's talking about a Shawnee, 124 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,560 Pocono Mountain. 125 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,480 After that, you where were you? 126 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:17,360 You were 19. 127 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:22,240 So I took a semester off of college because I realized I didn't want to go back 128 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,280 to Temple University in Philadelphia. 129 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,000 So I took a semester off and Andrew lived in New York. 130 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:32,760 So I on my days off from working at I was a waitress while I was trying to figure 131 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,600 out where I wanted to go to school. 132 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,360 I would go visit Andrew three days a week in New York and I would take class 133 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:39,680 and audition in New York. 134 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:43,080 So then I stayed with Andrew because I was visiting him. 135 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,680 We were still together as a semi long distance. 136 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,240 Yeah. 137 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,880 I went from all to almost nothing. 138 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:50,280 Yeah. 139 00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:56,080 And then I decided to go back to college in New York and I got my own 140 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,320 apartment and Andrew and I lived in New York together. 141 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,880 I wonder why you went to college in New York. 142 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,360 I always wanted I knew I was going to move to New York. 143 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:03,600 No. 144 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:08,000 I just moved there when I was 19 instead of, you know, when I graduated at 22. 145 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,120 Which is probably for the best. 146 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:09,600 Yeah. 147 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,720 So I've been I had been living in New York since I was 19. 148 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,880 So we were together. 149 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:15,400 Yeah. 150 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,880 And we lived together and my mom was not. 151 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:22,520 I don't ever remember her giving us a hard time about it because she was like, 152 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,160 you're safe with Andrew in New York. 153 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:24,560 Fine. 154 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:25,080 Great. 155 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:25,440 Right. 156 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,160 I want you to be together living together. 157 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,400 Did she know Andrew? 158 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:30,120 I'm just kidding. 159 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,560 I was the one taking care of everybody. 160 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,040 No. 161 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:34,680 But yeah. 162 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:35,600 So we had been together. 163 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:39,200 We've been together since 2005, since I was newly 19. 164 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:43,640 And so I I mean, yes, he broke up with me a few times. 165 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,120 He's older than I am. 166 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:46,600 But you never dated. 167 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,160 But I never dated. 168 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:49,840 He was my first. 169 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,240 Besides Pat. 170 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:57,360 Patrick Joyce, who you heard in the travel episode, he and I had a tumultuous 171 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:58,160 relationship. 172 00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:58,960 We dated. 173 00:06:58,960 --> 00:06:59,640 Yeah, toxic. 174 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,560 We use the word toxic because we love Britney Spears. 175 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,800 But that was the problem. 176 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,560 We both love Britney Spears equally. 177 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,440 And their lives are a problem. 178 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,320 But we didn't have a real relationship. 179 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,120 We dated. 180 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,440 And then, you know, he was like, hey, I like guys too. 181 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,840 And I was like, I knew we had so much in common. 182 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:26,440 And so then it went downhill from there. 183 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:30,040 But but you never were like on a blind date. 184 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:33,160 You never met anybody you've never met before. 185 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:37,520 No, I went from Pat to Andrew to nothing. 186 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:37,960 Yeah. 187 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,520 You know, like never having to deal with it again. 188 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:39,960 No. 189 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:48,280 So fast forward to I don't even know when I first matched.com was the first time I ever 190 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,120 online dated. 191 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,600 I remember that. 192 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:55,160 And it was match was like one of the first. 193 00:07:55,160 --> 00:08:02,800 And I only knew that match.com was a thing because our aunt Vicky did AOL. 194 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,680 It was I forget what it was even called. 195 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,760 I want to say it wasn't e-harmony. 196 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:08,880 No, no, no, no. 197 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:13,000 It was AOL dates.com or something like that. 198 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,520 I'll have to ask her and I should have actually done my research for that. 199 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:21,560 But it was an AOL dating email correspondence type of thing. 200 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:28,320 And she started the online dating thing in our world, in my world of like knowing 201 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,520 that you could meet people via a computer. 202 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:30,720 Yeah. 203 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,440 And she was in her fifties and she up family dinners. 204 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:37,680 I remember her bringing, you know, guys to family dinners. 205 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:41,880 And she was in her fifties and she was the first one that did the online dating and found 206 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:42,920 our Uncle Bruce. 207 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:44,480 Uncle Bruce. 208 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,800 Gosh, they got married when I was like a teenager. 209 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,480 Yeah, he's been around forever. 210 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,320 Yeah. 211 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,920 But she found him online through that site. 212 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:52,480 Yeah. 213 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:57,520 So then match.com was where I first started and it was a little more hip. 214 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,720 Like it was for younger. 215 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:00,320 Yeah. 216 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:00,520 Yeah. 217 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,040 It was a little more hip for. 218 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:06,680 I was in college, out of right out of college, I think. 219 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,920 So I wasn't until I was like 21 when you graduate college. 220 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:15,560 Well, I also want to preface this with it is very hard to meet people in our career 221 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:16,400 choice. 222 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,320 Musical theater majors. 223 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:22,560 Usually they're I'm this is a general statement, but it's a true statement. 224 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:24,000 There are not a lot of straight guys. 225 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:24,280 Yeah. 226 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,040 It's a majority gay or queer folk. 227 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:27,360 Right. 228 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:34,000 It is an anomaly that I found a guy that likes football and Broadway. 229 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:34,920 Like honest to God. 230 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:35,440 It's true. 231 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:36,240 Our dad. 232 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:41,320 That's that's our dad who loves is a diehard Eagles fan, but also loves Broadway. 233 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:44,320 And I never thought that I would find that they're out there. 234 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,720 It's just very few and far between. 235 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:51,160 So meeting somebody in college was not easy. 236 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:51,960 I didn't date. 237 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:52,240 Yeah. 238 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,160 I didn't date. 239 00:09:53,160 --> 00:10:00,360 So when I had graduated where all of my friends were gay or female, I got on match.com. 240 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:04,040 And it was like so fun because you would write it was basically like pen pals. 241 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:04,160 Yeah. 242 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:10,120 You would write full conversations of like answering questions in paragraph form. 243 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,720 And you really thought about what you were going to say. 244 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,880 And you got excited when somebody would send you just as long an email, basically just 245 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,880 emails back. 246 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:26,320 And I went on a bunch of dates and I've had many boyfriends through at the time, match.com. 247 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,520 And then things got wild. 248 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,600 Wait, why? 249 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,080 Because then it was apps. 250 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,240 Apps changed. 251 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:33,680 Yeah. 252 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:40,360 And we're going to talk through 20 of them because there are 20 that are the best for 253 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:41,960 and I'm sure that there are way more. 254 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,640 I took it from Women's Health that there are the top 20 for 2023. 255 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:53,760 And it's so individualized, targeted for who you are looking for type of thing. 256 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:58,760 Back then it was like match.com, eHarmony, Christian Mingle, OKCupid. 257 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,440 OKCupid was 2004. 258 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:00,640 Yeah. 259 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:08,760 What wasn't there like I know Tinder and Grindr were like, you know, the risque ones. 260 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:09,720 Let's get into it. 261 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:10,120 OK. 262 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:10,800 Yeah, definitely. 263 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:11,520 Let's get into it. 264 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:11,920 So. 265 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:22,160 So the top sites 2023 according to Forbes, which is suspect because like who runs Forbes 266 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,640 and probably a bunch of old white gentlemen. 267 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,000 Yes. 268 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:31,640 And so that doesn't mean they wrote this article, but it's based on monthly membership, 269 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:35,520 communication features and then the matching algorithms. 270 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:41,800 That's how they based like their, I don't know, how they got the top four sites. 271 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,600 OKCupid is the first. 272 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,320 Really? 273 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,960 Found it in 2004 because it's free. 274 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:47,960 Oh, so. 275 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,080 So it doesn't mean that it's great. 276 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,360 It's just free. 277 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:51,960 The most memberships because it's free. 278 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:52,400 Exactly. 279 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:57,520 So if you're looking up like best sites to 2023 and want to get out there, be very careful 280 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:02,320 of what website you're clicking on that tells you that OKCupid is the best one. 281 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:02,600 Yeah. 282 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,480 Because it's just going because you don't pay for it. 283 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:05,960 Right. 284 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:10,280 Then Christian Mingles because it's 34.99 a month. 285 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,360 That's expensive. 286 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:11,960 Yeah. 287 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,880 It's a lot to find people. 288 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,000 Oh my gosh. 289 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,120 But that is very faith based. 290 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:21,640 Like you have to be a Christian background and have a very strong foundation in some 291 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,600 sort of Christianity to want somebody of the same faith. 292 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:24,960 Right. 293 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,720 So that's not for everybody. 294 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:30,280 Then it's match.com and it went up to forty two ninety nine a month. 295 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,560 What was it? 296 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:32,800 I don't remember. 297 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,560 Nine ninety nine. 298 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,000 Oh my God, I think it was cheaper than that. 299 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:35,680 Yeah. 300 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,920 And I think you could pay by the year to make it cheaper. 301 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,840 Like you could just do like a yearly subscription or whatever. 302 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:46,000 But right now it's forty two ninety nine a month and it was founded in nineteen ninety 303 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,600 five. Oh my gosh. 304 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,800 I didn't know that. 305 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,040 But it has a very low customer review. 306 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,400 So like, yes, Forbes rated it number three. 307 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,920 But the consumer, the people that are using it, it's a very low rating. 308 00:12:58,920 --> 00:12:59,600 They don't love it. 309 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,480 No. 310 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:06,080 I remember getting back on match maybe ten years after I had first gone on it 311 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,240 because I remember loving it so much. 312 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,720 And I was like, oh, this is different. 313 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:09,520 Why? 314 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:16,760 Just like how meeting people face to face old fashioned, like at a bar or an event 315 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,760 or whatever, nobody knows really how to talk to people. 316 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:20,960 Yeah. 317 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:25,240 Even in a very natural, innocent like, hey, oh, nice to meet you. 318 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,600 Like conversation wise. 319 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:29,240 So writing it out is even worse. 320 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,240 I remember you saying they can't make complete sentences. 321 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:33,280 I'm not meeting them. 322 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,840 Do not write the letter U for why are you? 323 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:40,000 Yeah. Why is that to time consuming for you and like use punctuation? 324 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,920 Yeah, I mean, you used to get so mad because it's so lazy. 325 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:47,120 It's lazy and it shows very like an uneducated way. 326 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,560 Like if you're not going to put effort into just typing something, why are you going to 327 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,240 put effort into a relationship? 328 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,880 Yeah, you're not going to. 329 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,440 Or at least that's what it comes across. 330 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:55,840 Yeah. 331 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:59,760 So that's not 100% like, you know, an accurate statement, but that's just how it seems to 332 00:13:59,760 --> 00:13:59,920 me. 333 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:06,080 Like if you're not going to write out full sentences and like grammatically correct, 334 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,080 it's not worth it. 335 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:07,320 Yeah. 336 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:08,920 No, I agree. 337 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:12,960 Then the fourth one on Forbes is black people meet. 338 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,600 Stop. That is the fourth highest rated. 339 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:16,000 Yes. 340 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,400 And it's 1899 a month and it is very specific. 341 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,720 That is very specific. 342 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:22,880 So is Christian Mingle. 343 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:27,320 Okie Cupid and Madge are very broad like anybody, but black people meet is very specific 344 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:28,160 and Christian Mingle. 345 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:33,120 So they're basing it off of the monthly membership and how people communicate through them. 346 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:37,320 But that doesn't mean that people actually like them. 347 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:42,520 So the next one that I clicked on was women's health, which seems a little bit more targeted, 348 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,440 but I feel like that's who's really wanting to be on site. 349 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:46,040 Right. 350 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:51,600 So I went off of that and oh my gosh, they have a they have an app for everyone. 351 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:55,840 So these aren't basically ranked one to 20, meaning one's the best. 352 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,120 They're just out of these categories. 353 00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,760 This is the best app. 354 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:00,280 Right. 355 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:01,280 For the category. 356 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:05,640 So best queer app is Lex, which I've never heard of, but Lex. 357 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,240 And then from that, there's a grinder for men. 358 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:08,680 Right. 359 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,640 And there's her for lesbians. 360 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:11,200 Lesbians. 361 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:11,600 OK. 362 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,960 But the best overall queer is Lex. 363 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:14,920 OK, I've never heard of it. 364 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,440 So my queer folk, get on it. 365 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,600 Oh my God, this blew my mind. 366 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:25,320 So hinge is another one that I knew hinge, which makes so much sense now that I've read this. 367 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:28,240 It's the best polyamorous app. 368 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:34,400 Oh, I would get contacted for basically a swinger situation. 369 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,520 90 percent of the time. 370 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,200 What? 371 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,160 And thought it was something I was putting out there. 372 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,600 Yeah, you're like, oh, God, what did my picture say about me? 373 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,200 All pineapples, everything. 374 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:43,600 Right. 375 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:49,040 Apparently, it's the best one for polyamorous situations. 376 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:53,200 However, it also ranked the best for quality conversation. 377 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:54,320 Oh. 378 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,160 So I don't really, I don't know. 379 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:59,680 That one's a perplexing one for me, but that makes so much sense. 380 00:15:59,680 --> 00:15:59,880 Yeah. 381 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,360 People would be like, hey, this is my wife. 382 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:03,320 What's up? 383 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:04,720 And you're like, cool. 384 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:11,040 Best hookup is Grinder, Tinder, Tinder, Tinder. 385 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:14,120 Well, Grinder is yes, that's also a hookup app for gay men. 386 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:14,480 Right. 387 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:18,200 Tinder is for heterosexual and or gay. 388 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,520 Like it's for everybody, but it's the best for hookup. 389 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,600 I've never done Tinder. 390 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,800 Well, what you said to me was match was becoming like a Tinder. 391 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,480 They're all match.com. 392 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:27,880 They're all like that. 393 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:28,680 Yeah. 394 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:32,200 Think the thought of getting back on an app is actually like gives me the shakes. 395 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,200 Oh, I'll do it. 396 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,640 You won't because I won't let you. 397 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:40,160 Everybody she swipes the ass on looks like Andrew and I love my brother-in-law, 398 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,720 but like he's my brother-in-law. 399 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:44,080 So it's always like some Nicholas Cage lookalike. 400 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,040 Now you can't unsee it. 401 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:49,720 Yeah, look that up. 402 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,520 Best for women is Bumble. 403 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,920 Oh, and that is, well, that's obvious. 404 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,520 Well, for heterosexual, right? 405 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,360 No, no, Bumble. 406 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,800 Well, so when you sign up from what I remember, 407 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,800 it's been a few years since I've been on it, 408 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,520 but you can sign up and tell them what you're looking for. 409 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:07,120 Oh, OK. 410 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,320 So if you're looking for women, it'll only show you women. 411 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,920 If you're looking for men, it'll show you men. 412 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:16,040 If you're looking just for friends, stop, or business networking, it'll show you. 413 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,240 I don't really know what that's about. 414 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:17,760 That's too much. 415 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:18,760 That's too much for one app. 416 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,080 A lot of these have a lot of different things like that. 417 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:27,600 But when it comes to Bumble, the best for women is because I think even in those 418 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:31,400 other situations, except I don't know how this works with life, 419 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,880 or within a community. 420 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,840 Forget about actual stuff or just familiarity. 421 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:54,000 I love to meet 422 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,120 But my friend, my wife, who I love as a woman, 423 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,680 I think they're awesome. 424 00:17:52,680 --> 00:18:01,320 The next lecture prompt I'm going to take is 425 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,960 when I go out to work or meet people. 426 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:05,240 Yeah, basically. And if I didn't say anything, then bye. 427 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:10,920 But that eliminates the reason why I like that is because it eliminates creepers 428 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:14,080 from contacting me first, then you're fielding all these like annoying things. 429 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,620 Yeah. Right. So that's why women tend to like that one. 430 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,680 Best paid app overall is eHarmony. 431 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:21,920 EHarmony. Yeah. 432 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,400 I signed up for eHarmony once and I think I was on it for one week. 433 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:31,440 And it was because, first of all, I took a week to fill out the information. 434 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:32,720 The questionnaire. 435 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,320 I think it's like a hundred question questionnaire. 436 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:39,320 Like every question you could possibly ask goes into it, which makes sense for the algorithms. 437 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,640 But it was a lot in my early 20s and I just thought that was like a lot. 438 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,600 And I remember it being very Christian targeted. 439 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:51,360 I every time I see a commercial, it's always a little bit older generation. 440 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,720 Yes. Slash. 441 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,480 Faith related. Yeah. 442 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,480 Well, that's interesting because the best mature app is match. 443 00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,280 Really? That's what it says. 444 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,560 You said it was like going downhill. 445 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:07,360 Well, mature people of age do not necessarily mean mature emotionally. 446 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,880 That's true. Best single parent. 447 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,920 There's an app for this. 448 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,440 Stir. Stir. 449 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,040 Like they want to stir the pot. 450 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,320 Oh, God, I hope not. 451 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,120 I think they just want a nice foundation for their children. 452 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:24,000 But if you're a single parent out there, look up stir the pot. 453 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,320 Best for black people. 454 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,680 The app is BLK. 455 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:34,520 That's just what the app is called, which, yeah, it just said BLK. 456 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:38,840 Best for Latina or Latino people is. 457 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,000 I might be saying this wrong. 458 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,200 Don't come at me. 459 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,640 Chispa. Oh, C-H-I-S-P-A. 460 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,280 Best meet cute. 461 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,480 Meet cute. What's meet cute? 462 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:51,640 You never heard of a meet cute? 463 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,880 No, you just meet somebody and you look cute. 464 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,360 First of all, have you never seen the holiday? 465 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,040 Yeah, the holiday. Yes. 466 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,360 So, you know how Titanic girl? 467 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,920 Yeah. Kate Winslet. 468 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,480 King Kate Winslet. 469 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:06,760 She's done many things like murder, dirt or I know. 470 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:11,480 She meets the older gentleman who's like a he used to be a composer. 471 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,280 Yeah, to be in the movies. 472 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,600 They talk about meet cute. 473 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:19,560 And it's how the ingenue and the leading guy meet in every romantic movie. 474 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,360 No way. It's called a meet cute. 475 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:26,080 So, like, when you bump into someone at the bar and you bump into them 476 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,600 and now all of a sudden you're going to get married and everything is put 477 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:32,840 like that's your meet cute because it was the ingenue and the leading man. 478 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,200 Oh, my God, I'm going to bump into somebody and just be like, I met you. 479 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,800 Super cute. 480 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,320 I think that's called harassment. 481 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:45,120 So anyway, a meet cute and it's called happen, HAPPN. 482 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,760 And it's because it's based off of your location. 483 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:51,120 Oh, so it's like meeting somebody when you look cute in a specific. 484 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:55,000 I don't I don't necessarily think you have to look cute in any of these. 485 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:56,600 Then don't call it a meet. 486 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:57,920 Just look like you. 487 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,120 It's cute because it's it's a spark. 488 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,120 It's a connection. 489 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:04,840 I'm going to move on. Best all type. 490 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,480 OK, Cuban, all type, all type, all type. 491 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:13,000 So just like in general, which is shocking to me because I never had a good 492 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,400 experience on it. OK, Cuban, but best Muslim is salams. 493 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,120 So you're Muslim. There's an app for that. 494 00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,120 Best Jewish J date. 495 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:23,640 You're Jewish. That makes sense. 496 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:24,800 And that's for that. 497 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,680 Best Christian is Christian mingle. 498 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,720 Yeah. Best outer circle. 499 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,360 Coffee meets bagel. What the heck is that? 500 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,200 I remember hearing about this and I had just moved out of New York 501 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:40,960 when this one came on the scene and it was I think I could be wrong, 502 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,880 but I'm pretty sure it was only in New York City. 503 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,880 Like this app was for New Yorkers. 504 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,600 Yeah. Now I think it's probably spanned a little bit wider, 505 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,880 but it's based off of your social media connections. 506 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:55,040 So you have to put in your social media information and then the algorithm 507 00:21:55,040 --> 00:22:00,360 pulls the people that you know, but you don't know like friends you might know. 508 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:05,440 I even think it's like if I'm friends with you on social media, 509 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:06,880 I'm like, I'm not someone you're friends with. 510 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:07,440 That's what I mean. 511 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:08,280 That outer circle. 512 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:09,480 My inner circle. 513 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,040 Oh, outer circle. 514 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,560 Best kinks. 515 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:15,680 Oh, my God. 516 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:16,720 There's an app for that. 517 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,680 Field F-E-E-L-D. 518 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:19,440 Oh, my God. 519 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,600 It's basically for non monogamous relationships. 520 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:24,160 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 521 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,960 But that's a good thing because if you believe in that and that's your thing, 522 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:30,120 then there's a specific app for other like minded people 523 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:33,720 that don't want a monogamous relationship to be able to connect. 524 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,640 To me, this is just so much like, you know, when there's just too much, 525 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:38,640 it's overwhelming. 526 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:40,480 I mean, yes. Thank you. 527 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,320 Welcome to my world for you to be like, oh, what? 528 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,320 Like it's hard. 529 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:45,600 I never said that. 530 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,000 I said, oh, let me do it. 531 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:52,120 The last one is best match interests and that's plenty of fish. 532 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,040 I've heard of plenty of fish. 533 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,280 Like, but is that basically you put in what you're interested in and try and 534 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,160 find people that are interested in the same thing? 535 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:00,160 The description was funny. 536 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,440 It was like, so if you want to share the blanket 537 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,600 on the couch, like if someone likes just watching movies on the couch. 538 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:12,160 Right. So you'd find what you're interested in, which is so interesting 539 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,720 because it's nice to have things that you're interested in with people, 540 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,720 but it's nice to have outside interests. 541 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,840 Yeah. So that's a lot. 542 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:25,560 So my thing with the dating apps is that I could be wrong. 543 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,960 Probably. Because you you probably are. 544 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,880 Because, you know, I remember things the way I like to remember them. 545 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,480 Perception is everything. 546 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:36,360 But Victoria used to go on these dates that I would pick for her and like she 547 00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:39,800 would OK, she would never go on one of the dates that I picked for her. 548 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,960 If she was like, you know, I'm not swiping. 549 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,560 I don't know. And I would talk to people. 550 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:45,320 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 551 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,240 I would pick them. 552 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,000 She would end up corresponding with them. 553 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,840 I never corresponded with anybody. 554 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,760 I wasn't that deep into it. 555 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:55,720 Can you all imagine now that you know us, can you imagine? 556 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,480 But she would go on these dates and she would come back and she would say, 557 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,640 I knew in the first five minutes I wanted to leave. 558 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:05,080 Some of them, you know, walking up and that's so frustrating. 559 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,840 Like, you know, within five minutes, but you have to sit there and go through 560 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:12,040 the how many brothers, how many sisters, what do you do? 561 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,640 Like, how the heck did you get out of those? 562 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,240 You I mean, you don't you don't order the next drink. 563 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:22,440 I learned. So here's a dating tip for people who don't know this. 564 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:23,480 Don't do dinner. 565 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:28,480 Yeah, do not do dinner on our first date because then you're stuck doing dinner 566 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:29,400 on a first date. 567 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:34,560 And that could be an hour and a half plus maybe two hours that you have to 568 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,960 sit there and know that it's two hours. 569 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,320 You're not going to get back of just like a waste of time. 570 00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:42,000 And maybe it's a nice conversation and nine times out of 10. 571 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,160 I mean, I can talk to a wall. 572 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:43,520 Yeah. 573 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,400 And make them feel like really good. 574 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:47,400 Good about themselves. 575 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:53,920 I've never I've never been rude to anybody, but I know that I will never see them again. 576 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:54,240 Yeah. 577 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:58,240 So you do a drink and when the waitress comes around and says, you want to do 578 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:01,600 another drink, you go, oh, no, I got to get up early tomorrow or oh, 579 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:06,520 does the other person feel that like no, that like, oh, she didn't order another 580 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:07,160 drink. 581 00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:09,360 So I guess it didn't go well. 582 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,760 That I don't know because I've never been the other person. 583 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:13,320 Yeah. 584 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:14,960 Where the person's like to make the decision. 585 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:15,200 Yeah. 586 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:15,520 Yeah. 587 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:19,200 But if that were the case and I actually like them, but I really couldn't have 588 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,600 that other drink, then you correspond later that night. 589 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,800 You let them know that you're interested, set another date at the scene so that you 590 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,120 know that you're going to be done again. 591 00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:30,040 Yeah. But if that's not happening, then it's like pat on the back, see later. 592 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:34,240 Well, the other problem I remember you having was you were like, I knew within 593 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,800 10 minutes that they didn't actually want a relationship. 594 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:38,760 Oh, 100 percent. 595 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,560 That's actually 99 percent of the time. 596 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:41,440 Yeah. 597 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:45,000 And that's what's the problem with things like match.com and eHarmony. 598 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:49,240 They say you want relationships and then you meet them and you're like, you don't 599 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:49,720 though. 600 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,720 I think that's just the world we live in. 601 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,840 Like, I don't think I want to blame all of the apps. 602 00:25:56,080 --> 00:26:01,160 I want to blame the society that we have where if things are getting broken, 603 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,040 nobody fixes them. 604 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,360 They just get a new relationship. 605 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:03,840 Yeah. 606 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:08,920 So committing to one is that's not even a thought anymore. 607 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:13,000 Think of all the relationships that are like celebrating 50 years of marriage. 608 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,600 They're all older generation. 609 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:15,080 Yeah. 610 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,680 Because number one, they met younger, which is different. 611 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:22,360 But number two, you work through your issues and you work through the phases of 612 00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:26,800 your relationship that you come up, you know, your paths go other ways. 613 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,320 And then you come back together and you work on it and you get better. 614 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,000 No relationship is perfect. 615 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,680 Even the ones that are together for 50 years, like they had their hard times, 616 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:34,480 but they worked on it. 617 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,120 They kept it hopefully. 618 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,160 And I'm talking about the good ones. 619 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,640 There are some that are absolutely meant to go their separate ways. 620 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:45,800 But this generation and this this collective that we have, it is not, I don't 621 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,280 know, hard working sort of. 622 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:49,440 The relationships are hard. 623 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:50,080 That's what I mean. 624 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,880 Like when it comes to relationships, like you bail when it gets hard. 625 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:54,160 Yeah. 626 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:58,560 So the commitment factor, finding people that are actually looking for like a 627 00:26:58,560 --> 00:26:59,160 commitment. 628 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:04,440 Now, all the times that I was on apps were in my 20s. 629 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:08,080 Well, I was just going to say, I don't mean to cut you off, but I'm going to, 630 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:14,320 that you were saying guys your age in the 20s were not ready. 631 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:18,400 And but like, I also feel like guys in their 30s aren't either. 632 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:18,640 Yeah. 633 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,600 Well, now I know that because I'm in my 30s. 634 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:21,040 Yeah. 635 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,440 So I look in my in the 40s. 636 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:23,800 Yeah. 637 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:28,680 However, this is a general statement, but majority of men in their 40s. 638 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,800 If you're in your 40s, you probably have children. 639 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:32,120 Yeah. 640 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:34,320 You probably have a divorce situation, which is fine. 641 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:37,040 But like there's other factors that you have to take into account. 642 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,360 Or if you're single in your 40s, why? 643 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:39,960 Why? 644 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:40,400 Yeah. 645 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:40,720 Why? 646 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,480 And now I can't say that because I'm 34 and I'm now single again. 647 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,720 So it's similar. 648 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:48,920 You have to look at all you have to really think about a lot. 649 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,080 You have to think these days, you just have to think about a lot. 650 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:51,440 Yeah. 651 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,880 And I don't think at 19, I was thinking a lot and clearly Andrew wasn't thinking 652 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,640 at all because we stayed together. 653 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,680 But he was just like, yeah, yeah, sure. 654 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:02,480 You seem fun. 655 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:03,400 You seem fun. 656 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:04,600 I'm going to break up with you a few times. 657 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,720 You're going to force me to get back together with you. 658 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:11,160 I mean, the fact that I planned my own engagement, that had something to do with it. 659 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,080 Here's the thing that I think of not often. 660 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:19,080 But I think I have thought of while I've been in relationships and especially 661 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,080 obviously relationships that didn't work out. 662 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:25,880 The majority of them didn't work out because the commitment factor was not there 663 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:30,080 or I got cheated on or, oh my gosh, let's not even get into some of the reasons. 664 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,080 I was going to say, let's open this canon words. 665 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:37,080 We could do a whole episode on the characters in my story. 666 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,080 OK. 667 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:43,080 But what I think of is that I remember and I can't remember which relationship I might. 668 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,080 You gave me this advice to. 669 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,080 Oh, you obviously what can you do? 670 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,080 You can relate it to your experience. 671 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:54,080 So your your experience is very hard to relate to how my life has gone. 672 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,080 I know that's the issue that we have. 673 00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:57,080 Right. 674 00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:02,080 No, but this is like a good thing, though, because you said not everyone is needs the push. 675 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,080 Like Andrew. 676 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:04,080 Yeah. 677 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,080 He wasn't that he wasn't ready. 678 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:07,080 He just needed the push. 679 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:12,080 He needed that extra like, hey, if you're interested in settling in, 680 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:17,080 you're interested in settling down and growing up like now is the time I'm here for you for that. 681 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,080 Some people it's pushing to the wrong person. 682 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,080 Like you can't push that person. 683 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:23,080 I said that. 684 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,080 I mean, I don't think it was this eloquent. 685 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,080 And I also don't think I'm speaking eloquently. 686 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:31,080 I was like, not everybody needs to be bullied into marriage, Victoria. 687 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,080 I actually think that's how it was. 688 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,080 I think that's how it was. 689 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:39,080 But your reasoning made so much sense because Andrew was just somebody who. 690 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,080 He's indecisive as a person. 691 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,080 Yeah. 692 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:46,080 So like to this day, that's that's my role in the relationship. 693 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:47,080 I'm the pusher. 694 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:53,080 I'm the challenger and he will rise to the occasion because he's like, just needs that 695 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,080 little like, you got this, it's fine. 696 00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,080 And then, you know, and then it's fine. 697 00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,080 But he makes his decisions from there. 698 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:00,080 Right. 699 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,080 But I'm not saying he doesn't make decisions on his own, but I'm the instigator. 700 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:04,080 Yeah. 701 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:09,080 In when it comes to big moments like that, I'm the one that's like, all right, it's time for this. 702 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:11,080 And he's like, yeah, that's great. 703 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:12,080 Yeah. 704 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:17,080 But he needs to be guided and pushed a little bit in those situations, but not everybody 705 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:18,080 needs it. 706 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:23,080 And if you push too hard or too much, that, that maybe not the right person for you. 707 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,080 I think that's, I think that's what, where that came from. 708 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:29,080 Cause I was probably like, but you did it to Andrew or you thought it, you know what 709 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:30,080 I mean? 710 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:31,080 Cause that's all I knew at the time. 711 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,080 Yeah. 712 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:36,080 And then the best advice that Billy ever gave me was when I remember calling him like crying. 713 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:40,080 And I think I remember the relationship that this was about where he was like, listen, 714 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:45,080 the whole goal is that you're on two different paths, but parallel and like simultaneous paths. 715 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:50,080 And then if they start to break off, the goal and the hope is that they come back and your 716 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:51,080 paths meet again. 717 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,580 But if they break off and you go in two different directions, like that happens for a reason 718 00:30:54,580 --> 00:30:55,580 too. 719 00:30:55,580 --> 00:30:56,580 Yeah. 720 00:30:56,580 --> 00:31:00,400 So you just have to, you have to figure out if you're on the same path and then you have 721 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,000 to figure out if that path is also going in the same direction. 722 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,080 Is it going to meet at the top? 723 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:06,080 Yeah. 724 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,080 Cause we're going up a mountain. 725 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,080 Yeah. 726 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:09,080 And then it's over. 727 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,080 Yeah. 728 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:11,080 At the top. 729 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:12,080 It's me while you jump off downhill from there. 730 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,080 That's good advice. 731 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:14,080 That is good advice. 732 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:18,080 Man, Billy can be smart. 733 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:19,080 Everybody has baggage. 734 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:22,000 It's another piece of advice. 735 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,000 Everybody has baggage. 736 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:29,080 It's whether or not your baggage and their baggage can be carried at the same time. 737 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:30,240 Wait, hold on. 738 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,080 Let me think about that. 739 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:33,080 Okay. 740 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:34,080 So everybody has luggage. 741 00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:35,080 Okay. 742 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:42,080 Hopefully they're both and Nicole, our HBIC, she coined this. 743 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:43,080 They're Louis Vuitton. 744 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,080 Louis Vuitton. 745 00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:45,080 Okay. 746 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:46,080 All right. 747 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,080 Yep. 748 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,080 Hopefully if you're a Louis bag, you gotta find somebody else with a Louis bag. 749 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,080 Okay. 750 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:52,080 All right. 751 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:57,080 So your baggage has to like match and it has to be able to be carried at the same time. 752 00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,800 One baggage can't overpower or overweigh the relationship. 753 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:01,800 Right. 754 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,200 So everybody has like little red flags, right? 755 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:05,200 You have a ton of them. 756 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,200 Everybody. 757 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:09,480 Listen, I've got like I'm Red Flag City. 758 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,200 But that's the thing though. 759 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,200 Everybody has them. 760 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:13,200 Yeah. 761 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,800 It's how many you're willing to work with. 762 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:16,800 Yeah. 763 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:17,800 Yeah. 764 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:18,800 Or it's the same way as the baggage. 765 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,240 If there's too many when to walk away. 766 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,800 And I think I've always had a problem with that. 767 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:29,280 I was just going to say, I think that's been your big thing is like sometimes there's way 768 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:33,960 too many red flags, but you're so devoted and loyal that you're willing to work through 769 00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:37,840 110 red flags when we all know it's that's too many. 770 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:38,840 Yeah. 771 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:40,240 It's not worth it. 772 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:44,360 But like you're a diehard Victoria is like a go big and I'm never going home. 773 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:45,600 She's like, I'm going to work through this. 774 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:46,840 We're going to fix it. 775 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:50,120 She's a fixer and sometimes there's no fixing. 776 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,120 Yeah. 777 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,960 And the other person never meets her halfway. 778 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:55,960 They just never have. 779 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,800 Victoria is 120%. 780 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:03,040 And they'll give 50 and sometimes you're okay with that. 781 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,120 Not really okay with it, but you deal with it. 782 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,800 Well, it starts with 120 and it goes down to 50. 783 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:13,280 So it doesn't the reciprocity ends up stopping halfway. 784 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,280 Yeah. 785 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,440 That was a lot of math for me. 786 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:17,600 We started at the same level. 787 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:18,600 Okay. 788 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,840 And then my level stays where it is and their level gets lower and I start carrying the 789 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,320 relationship. 790 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,960 And then that's when I should get out faster than I usually do. 791 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:33,320 And then when you stay too long, it's so much harder to get out and then picking up the 792 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,040 pieces is even worse. 793 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,040 Yeah. 794 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:37,040 Yeah. 795 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:38,040 Cause that's for sure. 796 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:39,040 Yeah. 797 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:43,160 And that's what's cool about this date, these dating apps is yes, there are so many, it's 798 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:49,120 overwhelming, but if you can find your niche, then there's a big possibility you'll find 799 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,400 somebody that's very like you. 800 00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,520 Well now they have them for everybody. 801 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:55,520 Yeah. 802 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:56,520 That's which was awesome. 803 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:57,520 It's shocking to me. 804 00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:58,520 I really didn't know. 805 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:02,120 I haven't been, I haven't been on them in so long. 806 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:03,800 Here's another issue with apps though. 807 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:09,480 I'm always going to, I know I'm way more pessimistic when it comes to apps all the time. 808 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,080 I'm like, let's meet everybody. 809 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,720 And she's like, no, because she's never gone through it. 810 00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:18,120 You've also never had a relationship where you met anybody on the app and then all of 811 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:21,800 a sudden they start reappearing on apps and people tell you that they're still on apps. 812 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:22,800 Right. 813 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:23,800 Right. 814 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:24,800 Right. 815 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:25,800 Right. 816 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:26,800 And then they're cross-apping. 817 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:27,800 Yeah. 818 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,480 And they're like, they're, it's always there. 819 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:31,480 Right. 820 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:32,480 And that's a problem too. 821 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:36,280 So that's where the commitment piece is coming to play, where you can say you're committed 822 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:41,480 off the bat, but then all of a sudden that moment of maybe friction or moment of this 823 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:45,320 is something that we have to put our effort and our work into keep, well, they can just 824 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:46,320 get their phone out. 825 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:47,320 Yeah. 826 00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:48,320 That's horrible. 827 00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:49,320 It's a brand new world. 828 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,320 That's horrible. 829 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:51,320 It's a brand new world. 830 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:52,320 And that's the norm. 831 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,920 So explain something to me. 832 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,200 Swiping left is good. 833 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:58,400 Swiping right is bad. 834 00:34:58,400 --> 00:34:59,400 No. 835 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:00,400 No. 836 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,800 I believe swiping left is goodbye. 837 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:03,800 Okay. 838 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:04,800 Swiping right is a keeper. 839 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:05,800 A keeper. 840 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:06,800 Yeah. 841 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:10,680 So I knew, I remember you used to get mad at me when I would swipe the wrong way and 842 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,080 you're like, they saw that. 843 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,920 Now they think I'm interested and I'm not interested. 844 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,760 And then they will contact her and I'd be like, well, you have to answer. 845 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:18,760 You can't unswipe. 846 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:19,760 Yeah. 847 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,520 No swiper, no unswiping. 848 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:22,520 I know. 849 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,440 And see, there's so many rules. 850 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:25,440 There are so many. 851 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:27,120 Well, yes and no. 852 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:35,920 Like if someone's putting in their interests that they like bars, drinking, bachelor parties. 853 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:36,920 Yeah. 854 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,720 Like, you know what type of person at 30 in their 30 plus years, you know what the type 855 00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:41,720 of person is. 856 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:42,720 Yes. 857 00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:45,560 But you would also be like, oh, they put a picture of their sister because they want 858 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,280 you to think they're a family person and a picture of their nephews. 859 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,240 But then, then he put a picture of him without a shirt on. 860 00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:53,920 So like, no, sorry. 861 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,160 That'd be like, that's kind of a bro. 862 00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:57,160 What is the problem? 863 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:58,160 It's a bro. 864 00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:02,440 But he has at the same time, it's not fair for me to say that I can only go off of my 865 00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:03,940 experiences. 866 00:36:03,940 --> 00:36:07,880 That's why Victoria doesn't let me swipe because I've been, I hate, I'm jaded. 867 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:14,120 I've been through all of the situations and then even the ones where I met people naturally, 868 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,480 it's the same situation over and over again. 869 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,000 So I can tell through the pictures. 870 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,800 I can tell with the effort that they put in their quote unquote bio. 871 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:22,800 It's like so funny. 872 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,040 I mean, how people have to meet these days. 873 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,760 And it's, it's tough because I don't, it's, I don't think everybody is like that. 874 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:34,000 I don't think everyone's out to manipulate or lie or not be committed or, you know, all 875 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,000 the bad things. 876 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:39,520 Well, I just also think with social media, you know, we love social media. 877 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:41,920 It's just so easy to not be who you actually are. 878 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:42,920 Oh my God. 879 00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:44,840 And when people ask, oh, what's your handle? 880 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:45,840 I'm like, no. 881 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,560 Oh yeah, you never let people follow you on Instagram that you date, that you go on a 882 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:50,560 date with. 883 00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:53,680 Why do you need to be a part of that life of mine? 884 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:54,680 Absolutely not. 885 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,560 Not until I like, am I actually with you or whatever. 886 00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:58,680 Victoria won't even let me have her Instagram handle. 887 00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:02,680 Oh, because you're so annoying. 888 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:03,680 I know. 889 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:04,680 I know. 890 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,200 I just think you don't know. 891 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:07,200 No, I don't. 892 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,920 And that's, oh my gosh, every time Victoria would break up with somebody, I'd be like, 893 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:11,120 all right, let's get back out there. 894 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,520 She's like, no, you don't understand. 895 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:14,520 You don't know. 896 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:15,520 You'll never know. 897 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,200 And I'm like, well, teach me. 898 00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:18,200 I can't. 899 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:19,960 You have to get divorced and start from scratch. 900 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:22,360 And then go on yourself and actually search. 901 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,120 You will never know. 902 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:25,120 I know. 903 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,120 I don't mean to say it as like a, trust me, I don't want this story. 904 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,200 But it's just fact. 905 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:33,560 You don't have to deal with it and just be so grateful. 906 00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:37,120 And I think everybody out there that is dealing with it is nodding their head right now. 907 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,280 I'm going, oh my God, I know. 908 00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,160 Well, have you dated gay guys? 909 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:43,160 No. 910 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:44,160 Yeah. 911 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:49,320 So you'll never know what that's like when they turn to you and say, Carly, and I'm like, 912 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:50,320 I don't even say it. 913 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:51,320 I already know. 914 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:52,920 Just go talk to my mom. 915 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:53,920 Okay. 916 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:57,320 That happened to me like three times. 917 00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,820 It's true though. 918 00:37:59,820 --> 00:38:02,960 So yeah, there's so many more stories where this comes from. 919 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:10,280 The amount of experiences that I've had in just the swiping category of dating and then 920 00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:13,640 also the dating category of dating. 921 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,120 It's why I am the way that. 922 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:16,520 Oh my God, shut up. 923 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:17,520 It is not. 924 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:18,520 No, jaded why. 925 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:19,520 I approach it. 926 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:23,320 There's so many other reasons why you are the way you are. 927 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:29,720 I was talking about my preconceived notion of like getting online again, but thanks. 928 00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:32,080 Our red flags don't match up. 929 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,240 Our baggage is too heavy on both ends. 930 00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:35,960 I got some white flags up there. 931 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:36,960 So you surrendered. 932 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:37,960 I surrendered. 933 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,320 You have let go and surrendered. 934 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:41,320 Amazing. 935 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,520 Don't worry, my pants on inside out. 936 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,520 Oh man. 937 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,520 All right. 938 00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:49,520 There she is. 939 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:50,520 Folks. 940 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:58,240 So your real tip for this episode is kind of twofold. 941 00:38:58,240 --> 00:39:01,600 One is put yourself out there. 942 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:06,680 So even with your experiences that you have on your end of things, if you're in the dating 943 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:13,080 scene of 2023 and you're swiping and you're dealing with everything we talked about today, 944 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:19,720 just put yourself out there, decide that going on the date, even if you're not 100% on the 945 00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:22,440 correspondence you've had with this person, just do it. 946 00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:26,760 And then if you never have to see them again, then you never see them again, but put yourself 947 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,120 out there. 948 00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:33,080 Don't let your experiences navigate the next decision that you make. 949 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:38,560 And then the second part of it is trust your gut because just to put yourself out there, 950 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,960 if it's an experience or a person that you're getting really bad vibes from, trust that. 951 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,560 Go with that instead of fear. 952 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,160 So they're two different feelings. 953 00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:52,120 Fear of just not wanting to put yourself out there and deal with it is one thing. 954 00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:58,160 And then fear of like, this could be really bad for my life or my situation. 955 00:39:58,160 --> 00:39:59,160 Do not do that. 956 00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:00,920 So trust your gut. 957 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,600 But it's a tricky life out there. 958 00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,160 Good luck, ladies and gentlemen. 959 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:07,440 Good luck. 960 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,800 And now for your real extra tip of the week. 961 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:14,520 It's called, where my girls at from the front to back. 962 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,080 Is he feeling that? 963 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:20,040 What was the last part? 964 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:21,640 What does, where my girls at? 965 00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:22,640 I'm just kidding. 966 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,920 I'm just not going to sing it again. 967 00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:28,520 But one of the things that Victoria used to do when she would go on these dates was she 968 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:35,200 would give me a heads up of where she was going, who she was meeting, what time. 969 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,960 Just in case you never know, you're meeting somebody you've never met before. 970 00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,320 You don't know what their intentions are. 971 00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:43,800 900 times out of 100. 972 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:46,600 I don't know why I said those numbers. 973 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:47,600 That's a good, that's a good. 974 00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:49,160 Nine times out of 10. 975 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:50,240 It was always fine. 976 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:54,360 But that one time that it's just like, not really feeling it. 977 00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:59,560 You want to let somebody know where you are, who you're meeting, just to be safe. 978 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,040 We know we love a good murder podcast. 979 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:03,680 So don't be on the next one. 980 00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:04,680 All right. 981 00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:05,680 Yeah. 982 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:06,960 We definitely don't want to be listening about you next. 983 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,600 So where are my girls at? 984 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:16,240 If you have that Carly person where you let them know where you are, Carly would do this 985 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:19,960 other really cool fun thing to me and she would check in. 986 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:24,800 So if it was like an hour in or an hour and a half or two, she would text me and need 987 00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:32,560 like a high sign that I was alive and safe because she does listen to too much crime. 988 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,040 So have a code word. 989 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:36,720 We had, I think we've talked about this before. 990 00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:38,240 We had a code word. 991 00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:39,240 Selena. 992 00:41:39,240 --> 00:41:40,640 Selena was a girl. 993 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,800 Selena was, I'm all good. 994 00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:43,800 Things are fine. 995 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,480 I'm still out, but I can't really type a lot to you. 996 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:48,800 So Selena. 997 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:53,000 And if it was, oh my God, I'm getting out of here or help me get out of here, give me 998 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,480 a phone call or something like that. 999 00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:55,480 It was Yolanda. 1000 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:56,480 Yolanda. 1001 00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:00,520 So if you don't know Selena's story, make sure S&Ps love her. 1002 00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:04,320 Yolanda was a no-go because you should always stay away from Yolandas. 1003 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:05,320 Okay? 1004 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:06,320 Yolanda killed Selena. 1005 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:07,320 Yeah. 1006 00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:08,320 Spoiler alert. 1007 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:09,480 It's horrible. 1008 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:13,760 So we had that too with the check-in because again, you never know. 1009 00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:18,400 You just never know who's who in this crazy technological world that we live in. 1010 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:23,360 So we hope you've enjoyed this relationship, station ship. 1011 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:24,880 Yes, you said it. 1012 00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:26,120 I knew you'd say it. 1013 00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,680 Well, because we station shipped on this topic for a while. 1014 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:29,920 Yeah, this was a good one. 1015 00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:35,040 I mean, we still have so much relationship, station ships to talk about, but we'll say 1016 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:36,040 that for another one. 1017 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:41,720 Meaning Carly thinks I have a lot more stories to tell you because she's gotten none. 1018 00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:42,720 And she's right. 1019 00:42:42,720 --> 00:42:43,720 We do. 1020 00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:44,720 Yeah. 1021 00:42:44,720 --> 00:42:48,960 So if anything, while you're making your profiles, while you're out there talking to people and 1022 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:55,520 trying to let everybody know who you are, you are always fit to be real and always allowed 1023 00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:57,840 to be a little extra. 1024 00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:03,160 So fitting on your profile and in life. 1025 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:04,160 Swipe left. 1026 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:11,680 For legal reasons, we have to tell you that this podcast is meant for entertainment and 1027 00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:13,480 educational purposes only. 1028 00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,680 We are not healthcare professionals. 1029 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:19,800 For all of your health, wellness, fitness and self-care needs, please refer to the medical 1030 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:24,880 professional in your life, your primary care physician, your therapist, a certified coach, 1031 00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:26,560 whoever it may be. 1032 00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:30,720 And then let us know what they say because I guarantee we need to know it too. 1033 00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:31,720 Okay? 1034 00:43:31,720 --> 00:43:34,320 Okay, bye.