WEBVTT 00:00:02.679 --> 00:00:10.060 Hello, my darling, my beautiful, my assets of 00:00:10.060 --> 00:00:13.080 the world. Sorry, I guess that's a bit weird, 00:00:13.119 --> 00:00:16.239 but I just did a podcast and she said, we're 00:00:16.239 --> 00:00:18.640 all an asset. So I just, I'm going to just mix 00:00:18.640 --> 00:00:23.140 that in to the intro. as I welcome you, my powerful 00:00:23.140 --> 00:00:25.640 everyday women of the world, to another Startup 00:00:25.640 --> 00:00:28.600 Stories podcast where the ambitious everyday 00:00:28.600 --> 00:00:32.039 woman is heard, held, and served in life, in 00:00:32.039 --> 00:00:35.539 business, in the spirit, in faith, in every element 00:00:35.539 --> 00:00:39.020 of your life. bringing you relatable stories 00:00:39.020 --> 00:00:42.520 to keep you sane, grounded, and growing as you 00:00:42.520 --> 00:00:45.380 expand yourself and deliver your purpose to the 00:00:45.380 --> 00:00:50.119 world. And do we not ever have such a perfect 00:00:50.119 --> 00:00:54.219 guest for this, you guys? Molly, Molly, I didn't 00:00:54.219 --> 00:00:56.020 ask you how to help me pronounce your last name 00:00:56.020 --> 00:00:59.719 before I hit record. Yeah, it's actually just 00:00:59.719 --> 00:01:02.840 like you would say roots, like grass roots. Roots. 00:01:03.240 --> 00:01:06.239 Perfect. Molly roots. and what a great last name 00:01:06.239 --> 00:01:10.299 for like helping women embody or plant their 00:01:10.299 --> 00:01:12.760 roots into their purpose and flourish from there. 00:01:13.359 --> 00:01:16.159 So you guys, Molly, I don't know, showed up on 00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:19.819 Facebook and sent me a message welcoming me to 00:01:19.819 --> 00:01:23.459 her group and I just felt really compelled to 00:01:23.459 --> 00:01:28.719 get to know her more and I am thrilled and honoured 00:01:28.719 --> 00:01:31.480 to bring her into this space to share a message 00:01:31.480 --> 00:01:35.269 with you about leading with purpose, living with 00:01:35.269 --> 00:01:41.969 peace, fulfilling God's use for you, his desires, 00:01:42.150 --> 00:01:45.450 his plans for you, and stepping out in your faith 00:01:45.450 --> 00:01:48.829 as a leader in whatever element of your life 00:01:48.829 --> 00:01:53.329 that you're called to do so, right? We all have 00:01:53.329 --> 00:01:56.329 a different role to play and they all interlocked 00:01:56.329 --> 00:01:59.829 together. And a lot of things that I liked about 00:01:59.829 --> 00:02:05.379 Molly's platform is the structure, the intention, 00:02:05.799 --> 00:02:14.819 the slowing down, the faith allowance and following, 00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:18.539 like keeping your eyes on the Lord to walk in 00:02:18.539 --> 00:02:23.479 his plans, and just also giving yourself grace 00:02:23.479 --> 00:02:25.979 as a mom, as a business owner, as a this, as 00:02:25.979 --> 00:02:29.610 a that. and finding out how to kind of hold yourself 00:02:29.610 --> 00:02:33.849 organized enough so that you can do these things 00:02:33.849 --> 00:02:37.050 without burning out, falling apart, right? Just 00:02:37.050 --> 00:02:40.110 keeping your eye on the prize with some beautiful 00:02:40.110 --> 00:02:42.949 support around you. So Molly and I had a chat 00:02:42.949 --> 00:02:45.729 a little while ago. We're meeting again now, 00:02:45.729 --> 00:02:47.870 you know, growing and nurturing this friendship, 00:02:47.909 --> 00:02:50.650 which I'm very invested in Molly, never a one 00:02:50.650 --> 00:02:54.509 and done. And I'm just really honored to host 00:02:54.509 --> 00:02:57.530 you as a guest on a podcast. cast and have a 00:02:57.530 --> 00:03:00.909 beautiful conversation with you today. Yeah, 00:03:01.110 --> 00:03:03.490 I've just enjoyed our interaction so much Mia 00:03:03.490 --> 00:03:07.889 and your warmth and just your beautiful spirit 00:03:07.889 --> 00:03:11.229 is really just so attractive. So I'm excited 00:03:11.229 --> 00:03:13.650 to get to know you better and to share with your 00:03:13.650 --> 00:03:17.889 audience too. Yeah, thank you. Thanks. It's like, 00:03:17.889 --> 00:03:21.580 you know, hearing that I'm going to do I did 00:03:21.580 --> 00:03:25.560 it already I said thank you because we don't 00:03:25.560 --> 00:03:28.199 always like to take compliments but you guys 00:03:28.199 --> 00:03:30.879 part of my journey in this is really accepting 00:03:30.879 --> 00:03:33.659 that that's the truth for me that that is part 00:03:33.659 --> 00:03:35.860 of God's vision for me and what he wants and 00:03:35.860 --> 00:03:38.639 if he loves me that much then why can't I love 00:03:38.639 --> 00:03:43.219 myself that much too so you know like I really 00:03:43.219 --> 00:03:46.000 appreciate those comments because okay sure my 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:52.370 insecure validate me inner self, but also, yeah, 00:03:52.370 --> 00:03:54.909 it's safe to be seen this way and it's safe to 00:03:54.909 --> 00:04:00.569 be that woman. It's safe to show up and, you 00:04:00.569 --> 00:04:03.349 know, discover more of who I am and let her grow. 00:04:03.729 --> 00:04:05.550 And I think that might be just a wonderful place 00:04:05.550 --> 00:04:07.710 for us to start our conversation, Molly. You 00:04:07.710 --> 00:04:09.389 know, you can share a bit of your background 00:04:09.389 --> 00:04:14.370 and what you've gone through or chosen, intentionally 00:04:14.370 --> 00:04:17.410 decided in order to become this version of yourself. 00:04:18.060 --> 00:04:21.759 Yeah, that's so good. As I was kind of getting 00:04:21.759 --> 00:04:23.740 ready for this and just thinking like what's 00:04:23.740 --> 00:04:28.000 on my heart today, I really felt like I wanted 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:31.019 to talk about identity and even what it is to 00:04:31.019 --> 00:04:33.339 go through an identity crisis because I feel 00:04:33.339 --> 00:04:36.839 like we do change as women. You know, there's 00:04:36.839 --> 00:04:39.920 different seasons. Sometimes maybe you're in 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:43.300 a season of singlehood or marriage or family. 00:04:43.379 --> 00:04:45.279 And then as your children grow, there's just 00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:47.540 a lot of changes. And with that, identity shifts 00:04:47.540 --> 00:04:50.839 happen. And so part of my story is just going 00:04:50.839 --> 00:04:54.600 through that identity shift when about five years 00:04:54.600 --> 00:04:57.560 ago, we made an international move. Our family 00:04:57.560 --> 00:05:00.220 did. My husband is from the country of South 00:05:00.220 --> 00:05:03.709 Africa. and we had been living there for almost 00:05:03.709 --> 00:05:06.149 a decade. And we moved right at the height of 00:05:06.149 --> 00:05:09.610 COVID back to the US. And so with that came so 00:05:09.610 --> 00:05:13.670 many changes. And in my own life, I had been 00:05:13.670 --> 00:05:16.589 an entrepreneur. I had had this, you know, beautiful 00:05:16.589 --> 00:05:19.670 business, but it was also something that was 00:05:19.670 --> 00:05:23.449 kind of eating away at my quality of life because 00:05:23.449 --> 00:05:26.009 my mental health was starting to suffer. I was 00:05:26.009 --> 00:05:28.370 just attached to my phone all the time because 00:05:28.370 --> 00:05:31.290 I had you know customers in different time zones 00:05:31.290 --> 00:05:33.310 and so I would even check sometimes in the middle 00:05:33.310 --> 00:05:36.449 of the night to make sure I could like I don't 00:05:36.449 --> 00:05:39.189 know I just did I didn't have boundaries and 00:05:39.189 --> 00:05:41.870 so I and then some things changed in my family 00:05:41.870 --> 00:05:45.209 too where my youngest daughter who is a miracle 00:05:45.209 --> 00:05:48.410 baby like she has the most amazing story and 00:05:48.410 --> 00:05:52.089 she's really our biggest story um but her life 00:05:52.089 --> 00:05:55.209 is complicated and she started to have some problems 00:05:55.560 --> 00:05:58.000 that were, you know, kind of just popping out 00:05:58.000 --> 00:06:02.300 that needed my attention. And so I long story 00:06:02.300 --> 00:06:05.160 short, I felt I just didn't feel aligned with 00:06:05.160 --> 00:06:07.800 my business anymore. But it was our bread and 00:06:07.800 --> 00:06:10.899 butter. You know, it was how we were sustaining 00:06:10.899 --> 00:06:13.360 ourselves. So I was like full of angst about 00:06:13.360 --> 00:06:15.899 what would happen if I let go of it and really 00:06:15.899 --> 00:06:18.610 had a long. time dealing with this with the Lord 00:06:18.610 --> 00:06:21.470 and delayed my obedience to him when he was telling 00:06:21.470 --> 00:06:24.209 me it was time to walk away I just I was like 00:06:24.209 --> 00:06:27.930 oh god no let's let's have a plan let me decide 00:06:27.930 --> 00:06:32.170 not you almighty how's this gonna work out and 00:06:32.170 --> 00:06:35.810 so finally I I did I just ripped the band -aid 00:06:35.810 --> 00:06:38.610 off and walked away and just entered a whole 00:06:38.610 --> 00:06:42.029 season of change and transition that's lasted 00:06:42.029 --> 00:06:44.269 quite a couple of years where God has helped 00:06:44.269 --> 00:06:47.689 me to like sit down with him and realign what 00:06:47.689 --> 00:06:49.769 this is all about, you know, that this isn't 00:06:49.769 --> 00:06:53.310 just about, you know, measuring up to like comparing 00:06:53.310 --> 00:06:55.910 myself to other people who maybe seem like they 00:06:55.910 --> 00:06:58.269 have it more together, who are actually like 00:06:58.269 --> 00:07:01.360 hitting these huge goals. I really just had to 00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:04.040 divorce myself of a lot of the talk that I'd 00:07:04.040 --> 00:07:07.139 been listening to in that journey as an entrepreneur 00:07:07.139 --> 00:07:09.060 and even some things that were out of alignment 00:07:09.060 --> 00:07:11.300 spiritually that I had gotten involved in I didn't 00:07:11.300 --> 00:07:14.060 realize it at the time but when I took a step 00:07:14.060 --> 00:07:16.699 back I was like that is not biblical you know 00:07:16.699 --> 00:07:19.220 some things that I was believing and and doing 00:07:19.220 --> 00:07:23.199 and practicing so the last like um three years 00:07:23.199 --> 00:07:26.720 or so have been a process of re -establishing 00:07:26.720 --> 00:07:29.939 my identity in the Lord that you know I'm not 00:07:29.879 --> 00:07:32.939 to him, I'm not an entrepreneur first, you know, 00:07:32.939 --> 00:07:36.180 I'm his child and he loves me and he just wants 00:07:36.180 --> 00:07:40.300 me to be at rest in his presence and let him 00:07:40.300 --> 00:07:43.279 take care of me. And then the ideas that come 00:07:43.279 --> 00:07:45.379 in the business that was birthed from that has 00:07:45.379 --> 00:07:49.660 been completely different. It's just been coming 00:07:49.660 --> 00:07:52.800 from a place of rest and peace and no longer 00:07:52.800 --> 00:07:57.399 with that anxiety of, you know, having to create 00:07:57.399 --> 00:08:01.420 some kind of amazing feedback for the world to 00:08:01.420 --> 00:08:04.040 see, you know, success, what success looks like. 00:08:04.959 --> 00:08:08.680 Yeah, so there is the identity piece already 00:08:08.680 --> 00:08:12.819 of letting go of what you believe for a while 00:08:12.819 --> 00:08:16.620 the only way to run a business and to make that 00:08:16.620 --> 00:08:21.360 money and provide and then to have to so uncomfortably 00:08:21.360 --> 00:08:25.300 and obediently trust the Lord to walk you forward 00:08:25.300 --> 00:08:28.449 into something else. And her Facebook group is 00:08:28.449 --> 00:08:31.310 called Take Back Your Day. And I love that combination 00:08:31.310 --> 00:08:35.210 of words of take back your day of be a good steward 00:08:35.210 --> 00:08:39.330 of today's work as it connects to tomorrow next 00:08:39.330 --> 00:08:43.070 week, years ahead, etc. And it sounds like in 00:08:43.070 --> 00:08:45.950 this shift to there would have been a lot of 00:08:47.830 --> 00:08:51.269 restoration happening, right? Like redefining 00:08:51.269 --> 00:08:54.490 who Molly is, how is she going to show up and 00:08:54.490 --> 00:08:56.450 where is she going to establish boundaries with 00:08:56.450 --> 00:09:01.450 herself and set her priorities back into God's 00:09:01.450 --> 00:09:05.980 divine order? Right. Yeah, that's exactly what 00:09:05.980 --> 00:09:08.279 I actually use those words, the divine order 00:09:08.279 --> 00:09:11.519 and what that looks like. And it's so easy to 00:09:11.519 --> 00:09:15.220 say that you want to put God first. And we do, 00:09:15.220 --> 00:09:18.419 we try to do that. But then next on the divine 00:09:18.419 --> 00:09:23.240 order list is your family and then your work, 00:09:23.620 --> 00:09:25.639 whether it's the ministry, whether it's a business, 00:09:25.759 --> 00:09:28.059 it doesn't matter. And the temptation is for 00:09:28.059 --> 00:09:30.940 us to flip those last two. And especially if 00:09:30.940 --> 00:09:33.519 you're in the world like a Christian service 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:36.159 or something that you, you know, you're doing 00:09:36.159 --> 00:09:38.659 for God. It's very easy to think, well, that 00:09:38.659 --> 00:09:42.220 has to be my priority, you know, that my family 00:09:42.220 --> 00:09:44.480 should, you know, just kind of, they're going 00:09:44.480 --> 00:09:46.580 to have to sacrifice some things. And sometimes, 00:09:46.580 --> 00:09:49.779 you know, there are things that we do, we work 00:09:49.779 --> 00:09:53.080 hard, but our priorities have to be, you know, 00:09:53.259 --> 00:09:55.399 our family, our marriage, our children, because 00:09:55.399 --> 00:09:57.740 they're our first disciples. And those are the 00:09:57.740 --> 00:10:00.220 things we're going to be accountable for before 00:10:00.220 --> 00:10:04.409 him one day. And I just felt really I mean my 00:10:04.409 --> 00:10:06.970 husband and I preach this it's something that 00:10:06.970 --> 00:10:09.649 I think we we just need to remind each other 00:10:09.649 --> 00:10:12.470 and other people of because the temptation is 00:10:12.470 --> 00:10:15.470 very real to put work first and to put those 00:10:15.470 --> 00:10:18.889 things and they kind of become idols very easily 00:10:18.889 --> 00:10:23.850 the work is something we do the family is how 00:10:23.850 --> 00:10:27.950 you show up as a in a state of being in a state 00:10:27.950 --> 00:10:30.610 of integrity and moral character and alignment 00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:33.779 to the Bible's teachings to take care of each 00:10:33.779 --> 00:10:36.639 other and build that community and that, again, 00:10:36.980 --> 00:10:39.940 togetherness, right? And I just want to outline 00:10:39.940 --> 00:10:44.600 that because it's not indicating not to pursue 00:10:44.600 --> 00:10:48.639 those things, but not to put them higher than 00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:50.940 what really matters. Business will come and go. 00:10:51.100 --> 00:10:53.620 Molly's already shown us that she's had a complete 00:10:53.620 --> 00:10:56.899 change of work and where her business comes from. 00:10:56.940 --> 00:11:00.120 And I love that you said God doesn't see me as 00:11:00.120 --> 00:11:02.759 an entrepreneur first. He sees me as his child 00:11:02.759 --> 00:11:06.360 first. This realignment of priorities and Molly, 00:11:06.399 --> 00:11:08.399 maybe you can walk us through what it's been 00:11:08.399 --> 00:11:13.100 like implementing them in your life and how now 00:11:13.100 --> 00:11:17.580 things are sort of coming back around to still 00:11:17.580 --> 00:11:21.860 provide and take care of you, but from a holier 00:11:21.860 --> 00:11:26.740 place. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. One thing that 00:11:26.740 --> 00:11:29.289 I that the lord talked to me about a long time 00:11:29.289 --> 00:11:32.409 ago is making a covenant of peace with him and 00:11:32.409 --> 00:11:36.750 what that means to me is to to just fight for 00:11:36.750 --> 00:11:38.909 my peace that that's something that i'm not going 00:11:38.909 --> 00:11:41.889 to walk out into the world or any direction until 00:11:41.889 --> 00:11:45.409 i have it and it is it is a wrestling match sometimes 00:11:45.409 --> 00:11:49.250 you know um i used to be really into the enneagram 00:11:49.250 --> 00:11:53.230 and um as like an enneagram six was my type i 00:11:53.230 --> 00:11:56.899 was kind of somewhat horrified to discover anxiety 00:11:56.899 --> 00:11:59.980 was something that was very familiar to this 00:11:59.980 --> 00:12:02.840 type. And so I had to really wrestle with that 00:12:02.840 --> 00:12:05.100 and just, you know, ask the Lord and say, you 00:12:05.100 --> 00:12:07.679 know, this is not my birthright. Like I am not 00:12:07.679 --> 00:12:10.179 going to receive that, you know, that my inheritance 00:12:10.179 --> 00:12:13.639 is anxiety. And so to walk that out meant to 00:12:13.639 --> 00:12:15.740 really make a covenant of peace and say, okay, 00:12:15.779 --> 00:12:18.860 I'm not going to live in that state of, you know, 00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:21.500 stress or anxiety, but I'm going to live and 00:12:21.500 --> 00:12:24.200 fight for my peace. And so then what that looked 00:12:24.200 --> 00:12:27.899 like was very, it really involved some laying 00:12:27.899 --> 00:12:30.980 down of like how I mentioned, you know, my business 00:12:30.980 --> 00:12:33.340 and our paycheck and everything and walking away 00:12:33.340 --> 00:12:36.720 from that and being okay with, you know, quote 00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:40.200 unquote, just being a mom, which is such a fallacy 00:12:40.200 --> 00:12:43.960 because moms are, it's one of the highest callings, 00:12:43.960 --> 00:12:47.100 you know, that you can have and be obedient to 00:12:47.100 --> 00:12:50.230 and say yes to. And so through that, just realizing 00:12:50.230 --> 00:12:52.929 I needed time to heal my nervous system and to 00:12:52.929 --> 00:12:55.690 be there for my child that had a lot of special 00:12:55.690 --> 00:12:58.710 needs and was going through some medical problems 00:12:58.710 --> 00:13:02.330 and things. And so, yeah, so that was a big part 00:13:02.330 --> 00:13:04.389 of it is just laying it down. And I think the 00:13:04.389 --> 00:13:07.669 principle there is, you know, when we lay things 00:13:07.669 --> 00:13:09.929 down before the Lord and you let them die, it's 00:13:09.929 --> 00:13:11.789 up to him if he's going to give it back again. 00:13:11.850 --> 00:13:14.389 It's like what Abraham did with Isaac. And he 00:13:14.389 --> 00:13:18.610 really had to be ready to like totally end it 00:13:18.610 --> 00:13:21.549 and I think that's what God wants like he wants 00:13:21.549 --> 00:13:24.950 everything he's not happy if we give most of 00:13:24.950 --> 00:13:28.230 it and just kind of reserve a little bit and 00:13:28.230 --> 00:13:31.330 so that was for me a big part of it is just laying 00:13:31.330 --> 00:13:34.009 laying things down and even being okay with not 00:13:34.009 --> 00:13:38.049 you know making an income or just taking care 00:13:38.049 --> 00:13:40.009 of my home and homeschooling and these other 00:13:40.009 --> 00:13:44.929 things I was doing and so then gradually You 00:13:44.929 --> 00:13:47.669 know, I think God kept it alive in my spirit 00:13:47.669 --> 00:13:50.409 and I have a lot of dreams or there's seasons 00:13:50.409 --> 00:13:52.149 when I have a lot of dreams so he would give 00:13:52.149 --> 00:13:55.269 me dreams to kind of remind me of Like this is 00:13:55.269 --> 00:13:57.649 what you know, I've put in you This is something 00:13:57.649 --> 00:14:00.269 that I want to see birthed and so I was able 00:14:00.269 --> 00:14:02.789 to keep those things kind of going like okay 00:14:02.789 --> 00:14:05.330 God it's not done like I'm not finished like 00:14:05.330 --> 00:14:08.409 this isn't the end and so just being really patient 00:14:08.409 --> 00:14:11.070 and allowing him to bring something to me and 00:14:11.070 --> 00:14:14.429 I'm um very like open to the prophetic and so 00:14:14.429 --> 00:14:17.110 i would get words from people sometimes you know 00:14:17.110 --> 00:14:19.289 this or that or a scripture and just kind of 00:14:19.289 --> 00:14:22.110 holding those things and writing them down and 00:14:22.110 --> 00:14:24.269 praying over them and just trusting that this 00:14:24.269 --> 00:14:27.139 will come to pass. You know in God's timing and 00:14:27.139 --> 00:14:29.580 it's not going to be by might or by power But 00:14:29.580 --> 00:14:32.039 it'll be by his spirit. And so there were quite 00:14:32.039 --> 00:14:35.259 a couple of like false starts I would try something 00:14:35.259 --> 00:14:39.179 and it just you know, my heart wasn't in it Something 00:14:39.179 --> 00:14:41.419 would happen where I thought this really isn't 00:14:41.419 --> 00:14:44.019 the environment that I want to be Spending my 00:14:44.019 --> 00:14:46.740 time in and so there was some of that trial and 00:14:46.740 --> 00:14:49.659 error and I made some big mistakes too and God's 00:14:49.659 --> 00:14:53.399 grace was just there to Help me kind of get myself 00:14:53.399 --> 00:14:56.799 out of some bad financial decisions, you know, 00:14:56.820 --> 00:14:59.879 when I made an investment that I felt like wasn't 00:14:59.879 --> 00:15:02.399 really in alignment with who I wanted to work 00:15:02.399 --> 00:15:06.440 with. I had to get myself out of that and get 00:15:06.440 --> 00:15:09.419 disentangled from a relationship that wasn't, 00:15:09.419 --> 00:15:11.559 you know, didn't have peace at the foundation 00:15:11.559 --> 00:15:15.100 of it. And so he was just very kind and gracious 00:15:15.100 --> 00:15:17.399 to help me kind of figure it out as I went along. 00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:20.049 And we want to have the whole roadmap. you know 00:15:20.049 --> 00:15:22.029 like what's it all going to look like but in 00:15:22.029 --> 00:15:24.809 reality he just shows us the next turn you know 00:15:24.809 --> 00:15:27.570 he gives us that next step and so just learning 00:15:27.570 --> 00:15:31.090 how to be patient and walk with God through different 00:15:31.090 --> 00:15:34.230 business decisions and trying to birth different 00:15:34.230 --> 00:15:42.250 things all that all sounds so like peaceful surrendered 00:15:42.250 --> 00:15:47.830 right and what i love is you're holding yourself 00:15:47.830 --> 00:15:52.490 accountable, you, the general you, and really 00:15:52.490 --> 00:15:55.929 trying to listen deeper, really trying to look 00:15:55.929 --> 00:16:00.970 at yourself as to where you're still trying to 00:16:00.970 --> 00:16:07.350 create an outcome versus aligning yourself to 00:16:07.350 --> 00:16:10.730 his will because that is the ultimate and he's 00:16:10.730 --> 00:16:14.419 just always waiting for us to come. and follow 00:16:14.419 --> 00:16:18.019 in step right it's us who are buzzing around 00:16:18.019 --> 00:16:21.820 like flies on a fruit or something in in this 00:16:21.820 --> 00:16:27.720 chaotic energy and in doing so then molly how 00:16:27.720 --> 00:16:32.220 has your life softened and opened around that 00:16:32.220 --> 00:16:36.179 you know like you're being shown mercy and you're 00:16:36.179 --> 00:16:40.549 being shown um breadcrumbs all at the same time 00:16:40.549 --> 00:16:42.490 to continue to move forward in a certain way, 00:16:42.629 --> 00:16:45.230 which then must be shifting on your identity, 00:16:45.509 --> 00:16:48.250 particularly with what you knew for a decade 00:16:48.250 --> 00:16:53.950 of time and in a way of being. Yeah. You mentioned 00:16:53.950 --> 00:16:55.970 in the beginning of our conversation, you know, 00:16:55.970 --> 00:16:58.649 like how it was hard to receive compliments and 00:16:58.649 --> 00:17:01.950 just like my own intrinsic need for validation 00:17:01.950 --> 00:17:04.809 and things that come from the outside, you know, 00:17:04.890 --> 00:17:08.269 that are maybe a title or a label or an accomplishment. 00:17:08.750 --> 00:17:10.950 And, you know, those things are okay. But when 00:17:10.950 --> 00:17:14.029 it becomes our identity, you know, and then maybe 00:17:14.029 --> 00:17:17.009 you're not fulfilling those roles anymore or 00:17:17.009 --> 00:17:19.750 reaching those benchmarks, it can be, you know, 00:17:19.869 --> 00:17:22.609 really kind of earth shaking. And so just looking 00:17:22.609 --> 00:17:28.000 at For me how to just be at rest and what God's 00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:31.220 called me to do and be faithful I think faithfulness 00:17:31.220 --> 00:17:35.200 is sometimes overlooked as a virtue and it's 00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:38.400 just that simple, you know daily walking things 00:17:38.400 --> 00:17:40.599 out being obedient to the last thing that God 00:17:40.599 --> 00:17:43.539 said Being faithful even when you're not seeing 00:17:43.539 --> 00:17:46.319 the fruit of it and knowing that we do plant 00:17:46.319 --> 00:17:48.720 seeds in faith and that there will be a harvest 00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:52.509 and working on mindset so for me it's been a 00:17:52.509 --> 00:17:56.809 lot of, you know, what do I believe? And those 00:17:56.809 --> 00:17:59.170 things, I think our beliefs are even more important 00:17:59.170 --> 00:18:01.789 than our decisions. Because if we're making a 00:18:01.789 --> 00:18:04.549 decision in doubt, you know, that's not going 00:18:04.549 --> 00:18:06.809 to produce the kind of fruit that we want to 00:18:06.809 --> 00:18:08.990 see in our lives. But if we're making those decisions 00:18:08.990 --> 00:18:11.049 in faith, like even if it's maybe not the right 00:18:11.049 --> 00:18:14.470 decision, or the best decision, the fruit of 00:18:14.470 --> 00:18:16.609 that is going to be much different. And so looking 00:18:16.609 --> 00:18:19.549 at what is my expectation? What do I believe 00:18:19.549 --> 00:18:22.829 about things? Not making things mean more than 00:18:22.829 --> 00:18:27.390 they should. In sales, like when somebody says 00:18:27.390 --> 00:18:32.349 no, it's not a rejection of who I am. It's just 00:18:32.349 --> 00:18:37.049 more about them and the unique place that they're 00:18:37.049 --> 00:18:40.769 in. And so just reworking mindset has been really, 00:18:40.930 --> 00:18:44.609 I've been working a lot on that. I'm going to 00:18:44.609 --> 00:18:47.450 give an example. that something that happened 00:18:47.450 --> 00:18:49.930 to me this week that I think will really put 00:18:49.930 --> 00:18:54.930 this into the day -to -day context. So a friend 00:18:54.930 --> 00:18:57.809 of mine was featured in a summit in a, they're 00:18:57.809 --> 00:19:01.049 basically like a marketing platform community, 00:19:01.329 --> 00:19:05.049 beautiful, robust, genuine, heart -centered, 00:19:05.829 --> 00:19:15.240 but the journey that I went on to assess my fit, 00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:19.500 I suppose, as a future summit speaker wasn't 00:19:19.500 --> 00:19:26.079 exactly clear when it came to kind of making 00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:29.480 a next step, right? So maybe I'm getting a bit 00:19:29.480 --> 00:19:31.759 convoluted in talking. I applied to be a speaker 00:19:31.759 --> 00:19:33.880 in a summit. I thought that's what I was doing. 00:19:34.200 --> 00:19:37.039 But it turns out that becoming a speaker in that 00:19:37.039 --> 00:19:41.500 summit means becoming a recipient of a coaching 00:19:41.500 --> 00:19:47.160 program that leads for nine to 12 months. And 00:19:47.160 --> 00:19:51.619 nowhere in that was clear. And here I was, moving 00:19:51.619 --> 00:19:53.819 forward, you know, thinking that this was going 00:19:53.819 --> 00:19:57.079 to be a good decision and that it would elevate 00:19:57.079 --> 00:20:02.319 my visibility and etc. and be a nice and like 00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:08.490 value compatible project. And then it comes forward 00:20:08.490 --> 00:20:12.390 near the end of like a review interview, that 00:20:12.390 --> 00:20:14.890 this is actually part of entering a coaching 00:20:14.890 --> 00:20:19.910 program. So that sat with me in a few different 00:20:19.910 --> 00:20:23.990 ways of like, did I not do my due diligence in 00:20:23.990 --> 00:20:30.710 getting ready? Or was this sort of interestingly 00:20:30.710 --> 00:20:36.859 marketed, right? And then to not attach meaning 00:20:36.859 --> 00:20:39.200 to that, I had to kind of like, breathe, relax, 00:20:39.299 --> 00:20:41.579 let go. It's not my value. It's not my worth. 00:20:41.660 --> 00:20:44.119 It's not this. And then say, well, if God doesn't 00:20:44.119 --> 00:20:46.900 want this, he's closed that door and trusting 00:20:46.900 --> 00:20:50.500 that above everything else and letting that go. 00:20:50.759 --> 00:20:52.799 And then I went back and I looked through again 00:20:52.799 --> 00:20:55.440 some of the materials and I didn't see anywhere 00:20:55.440 --> 00:20:59.220 in there any indications of this. I'm not questioning 00:20:59.220 --> 00:21:01.740 their integrity. It's their strategy. It's their 00:21:01.740 --> 00:21:05.319 whole um set up and everything. What it did for 00:21:05.319 --> 00:21:08.539 me was what I feel like you're talking about 00:21:08.539 --> 00:21:13.700 now of is this in true alignment and in true 00:21:13.700 --> 00:21:18.150 like I guess the the fastest walk that I can 00:21:18.150 --> 00:21:21.769 do in the Lord's will and plans for me or not 00:21:21.769 --> 00:21:24.450 because we will take ourselves on detours and 00:21:24.450 --> 00:21:25.869 then we'll say well why are you closing that 00:21:25.869 --> 00:21:27.529 door I thought this was the door you wanted me 00:21:27.529 --> 00:21:31.210 to go on and he's like no not really that was 00:21:31.210 --> 00:21:37.430 you I'm over here and what that experience has 00:21:37.430 --> 00:21:40.730 now showing me and he's reminding me because 00:21:40.730 --> 00:21:45.420 I already know Less is more in my case. My visibility 00:21:45.420 --> 00:21:48.759 is not going to come from being featured in somebody 00:21:48.759 --> 00:21:51.779 else's coaching program as a summit speaker. 00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:55.759 My visibility is going to come from these intimate, 00:21:56.720 --> 00:22:01.000 really soul -led conversations and moments where 00:22:01.000 --> 00:22:04.440 we're not just getting a message out and bragging 00:22:04.440 --> 00:22:07.839 about how awesome we are. We're really imparting 00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:11.480 wisdom for how to live your life in a godly way, 00:22:11.500 --> 00:22:14.740 particularly in this conversation, to keep you 00:22:14.740 --> 00:22:18.599 encouraged so that you can reduce those distractions 00:22:18.599 --> 00:22:22.759 and you can stay more clear. More is not more. 00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:27.839 More is just like empty calories, right? That 00:22:27.839 --> 00:22:31.240 stick on your beautiful body of any age and weight, 00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:37.269 ladies. You love that body. Love it hard. you 00:22:37.269 --> 00:22:41.329 know hopefully we can see how this applies in 00:22:41.329 --> 00:22:45.529 elements of our life and that it helps us to 00:22:45.529 --> 00:22:50.789 appreciate when he's closing doors that we thought 00:22:50.789 --> 00:22:53.210 for sure oh this must be the next thing because 00:22:53.210 --> 00:22:56.890 it came with these signs or whatever it's adding 00:22:56.890 --> 00:23:00.650 meaning it's adding meaning but in the end it 00:23:00.650 --> 00:23:03.890 allowed me to reflect and go I love what they're 00:23:03.890 --> 00:23:07.789 doing. I'd love to be a part of it, but I've 00:23:07.789 --> 00:23:10.329 learned that I want to do something like that. 00:23:10.849 --> 00:23:15.109 That's even more honest and earnest and lead 00:23:15.109 --> 00:23:17.289 down that way. And I have no, you guys have no 00:23:17.289 --> 00:23:20.369 idea what it's going to be. And that's okay. 00:23:20.549 --> 00:23:22.609 Cause he's led me around the corner that you 00:23:22.609 --> 00:23:25.910 were just talking about. Yeah. I found that things 00:23:25.910 --> 00:23:28.869 don't happen the same way twice. in our lives 00:23:28.869 --> 00:23:30.990 you know and maybe we're looking back at how 00:23:30.990 --> 00:23:34.349 something went down before and trying to recreate 00:23:34.349 --> 00:23:37.410 it or to make it happen again and it's it's going 00:23:37.410 --> 00:23:40.150 to be different you know because the the important 00:23:40.150 --> 00:23:43.589 part is the process we're in the being prepared 00:23:43.589 --> 00:23:45.869 you know that we're always being prepared for 00:23:45.869 --> 00:23:49.369 what's next and we go from glory to glory like 00:23:49.369 --> 00:23:51.789 that's also a kingdom principle that things get 00:23:51.789 --> 00:23:54.579 better in our lives and there's upgrades But 00:23:54.579 --> 00:23:57.220 in order to be ready for that upgrade, we have 00:23:57.220 --> 00:24:00.960 to go through some things. And we have to be 00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:04.460 willing to go through that process and not just 00:24:04.460 --> 00:24:06.619 take the easy way out. And we're always looking 00:24:06.619 --> 00:24:10.059 for a shortcut or maybe this is it. But yeah, 00:24:10.200 --> 00:24:13.839 we don't want to spend longer than necessary, 00:24:13.960 --> 00:24:16.990 more time than necessary in that place of. the 00:24:16.990 --> 00:24:19.630 wilderness, I call it, you know, that time of 00:24:19.630 --> 00:24:22.690 preparation. But it has a purpose. It's important 00:24:22.690 --> 00:24:24.930 to realize, you know, none of those experiences 00:24:24.930 --> 00:24:27.789 are wasted at all. They're all going to become 00:24:27.789 --> 00:24:30.670 part of our story of the next part of our lives 00:24:30.670 --> 00:24:34.470 and the testimony that we can speak and use and 00:24:34.470 --> 00:24:36.910 will encourage other people. You know, that's 00:24:36.910 --> 00:24:38.869 the point of it is that we want to be able to 00:24:38.869 --> 00:24:41.029 help people with the things that we've gone through. 00:24:41.410 --> 00:24:44.289 So I think that's. a really important piece to 00:24:44.289 --> 00:24:47.450 remember in the struggles and you know in the 00:24:47.450 --> 00:24:49.869 trying to figure it out time that all of these 00:24:49.869 --> 00:24:54.190 things will be used in some good way. Yeah and 00:24:54.190 --> 00:24:58.369 letting letting that come through when you're 00:24:58.369 --> 00:25:02.109 going through one of those things right accepting 00:25:02.109 --> 00:25:05.990 it as part of a of a bigger puzzle and a bigger 00:25:05.990 --> 00:25:09.240 revelation. leading to another glory. Molly, 00:25:09.299 --> 00:25:12.000 you have such an eloquent way of speaking that 00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:14.519 I want to give you more and more of the stage 00:25:14.519 --> 00:25:19.799 in this episode. So not to be too interview style, 00:25:19.819 --> 00:25:24.680 but what have you learned so far about your identity 00:25:24.680 --> 00:25:27.180 in the works that God has put through you and 00:25:27.180 --> 00:25:32.880 how he's shifted you into this new lifestyle, 00:25:32.880 --> 00:25:39.680 I guess? That's a good question. You know, I 00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:42.559 think some of it is just accepting who I am, 00:25:42.559 --> 00:25:47.500 and I'm someone that fits in very well with people 00:25:47.500 --> 00:25:51.180 who are not my own culture. And so that's been 00:25:51.180 --> 00:25:54.180 something that has been hard to fit back in to 00:25:54.180 --> 00:25:58.880 my home country. That's been a big identity crisis 00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:02.500 for me, is to realize, like, why do I struggle 00:26:02.500 --> 00:26:05.160 with people that are of the place where I'm from? 00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:07.720 It should be easier. right? And it's actually 00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:11.319 not. I grew up in a cross -cultural environment 00:26:11.319 --> 00:26:14.099 on an Indian reservation. That was part of my 00:26:14.099 --> 00:26:16.819 DNA as a young child. And I've always been drawn 00:26:16.819 --> 00:26:19.619 to people from other cultures, other countries. 00:26:20.099 --> 00:26:22.980 And my spiritual gift is missionary. And that's 00:26:22.980 --> 00:26:25.920 just what I want to do. And so then to realize 00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:29.500 God was sending me back to my own people, it's 00:26:29.500 --> 00:26:33.400 been a really unusual process to figure out, 00:26:33.420 --> 00:26:36.849 how do I relate to people? around here that I'm 00:26:36.849 --> 00:26:39.609 so much alike and I'm always looking for that 00:26:39.609 --> 00:26:41.730 one that's the foreigner or the someone that 00:26:41.730 --> 00:26:43.950 and that and then coming to understand that's 00:26:43.950 --> 00:26:46.650 a gift that he's given me. It's not just a weakness 00:26:46.650 --> 00:26:49.970 or not just that I'm weird or socially awkward, 00:26:49.970 --> 00:26:52.849 you know, as I feel most of the time that actually 00:26:52.849 --> 00:26:55.190 he's made me that way to like seek out those 00:26:55.190 --> 00:26:58.049 people that also feel like they don't maybe fit 00:26:58.049 --> 00:27:02.069 in here and to be able to, you know, build a 00:27:02.069 --> 00:27:04.630 friendship or just be a blessing to them in some 00:27:04.630 --> 00:27:07.640 way. And so I guess looking to that place of 00:27:07.640 --> 00:27:10.079 acceptance of who I am and the gifts he's given 00:27:10.079 --> 00:27:13.599 me and not apologize for it, learning how to 00:27:13.599 --> 00:27:18.380 deal with some unhealthy emotional habits or 00:27:18.380 --> 00:27:21.059 things I've been just living with for a long 00:27:21.059 --> 00:27:24.079 time about in relationships, how to handle those 00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:26.809 better and doing some inner healing. that's been 00:27:26.809 --> 00:27:29.829 a big part of this identity shift is just coming 00:27:29.829 --> 00:27:31.910 to understand like maybe it's something you do 00:27:31.910 --> 00:27:34.490 in your 40s, you know, you just like kind of 00:27:34.490 --> 00:27:37.289 understand yourself better. And so I've been, 00:27:37.289 --> 00:27:40.349 you know, working on that. And yeah, just more 00:27:40.349 --> 00:27:43.529 self acceptance, I think, and just not self love 00:27:43.529 --> 00:27:46.750 in a, in a funny way, but just be like, you know 00:27:46.750 --> 00:27:50.410 what, I, this is who I am. And I, I, it might 00:27:50.410 --> 00:27:52.430 not make sense to other people. They might not 00:27:52.430 --> 00:27:55.339 like it. They might not Agree with the things 00:27:55.339 --> 00:27:58.539 that I'm doing or following or pursuing or you 00:27:58.539 --> 00:28:00.440 know The reason that I have for waking up in 00:28:00.440 --> 00:28:02.579 the morning and that doesn't matter It doesn't 00:28:02.579 --> 00:28:05.000 matter if they don't agree with it or don't see 00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:07.519 the vision, you know, it's visionary women It's 00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:10.380 like I've got something in me. That's just driving 00:28:10.380 --> 00:28:13.720 me I can't you know, I can't turn this off and 00:28:13.720 --> 00:28:16.019 realizing that's there on purpose You know whether 00:28:16.019 --> 00:28:19.200 or not like I ever reach that particular goal 00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:21.980 doesn't really matter because it's you know causing 00:28:21.980 --> 00:28:26.420 me to take risks and you know take steps of faith 00:28:26.420 --> 00:28:30.279 and courage follows faith it's just something 00:28:30.279 --> 00:28:32.460 that comes and so you take that step maybe you're 00:28:32.460 --> 00:28:35.940 full of fear um i know i usually am it's like 00:28:35.940 --> 00:28:38.660 okay i'm gonna do it this is scary but then the 00:28:38.660 --> 00:28:41.319 courage comes it's like oh okay i didn't die 00:28:41.319 --> 00:28:44.000 you know it's like i can i can keep going so 00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:46.059 it follows just like a shadow and it's going 00:28:46.059 --> 00:28:48.500 to be there so that's something that you only 00:28:48.500 --> 00:28:51.630 have it once you've taken that step and I talk 00:28:51.630 --> 00:28:54.769 a lot about transition. I think that's a really, 00:28:55.170 --> 00:28:57.930 it's just such a vulnerable time in our lives 00:28:57.930 --> 00:28:59.890 when we're transitioning from one thing to the 00:28:59.890 --> 00:29:04.789 next. And so what we need to have character quality 00:29:04.789 --> 00:29:08.049 wise is to go through those transitions well 00:29:08.049 --> 00:29:11.630 and end the previous season well. And then you've 00:29:11.630 --> 00:29:14.289 got to have the faith to get through that. Like 00:29:14.289 --> 00:29:16.769 if you're a picture, a trapeze artist, they have 00:29:16.769 --> 00:29:19.190 to let go of that one trapeze before they can 00:29:19.190 --> 00:29:21.230 grab onto the other. You can't hang onto them 00:29:21.230 --> 00:29:23.230 both. That's right. You're going to get split 00:29:23.230 --> 00:29:27.710 apart. In that transition, it's like a liminal 00:29:27.710 --> 00:29:31.329 space. There's nothing to hold onto. You're just 00:29:31.329 --> 00:29:33.670 there, and you're kind of suspended in midair. 00:29:33.750 --> 00:29:36.210 And you're like, what's going to happen? And 00:29:36.210 --> 00:29:38.630 then that's the life of faith is then we reach 00:29:38.630 --> 00:29:41.849 out and we can grab hold of the new and, you 00:29:41.849 --> 00:29:44.269 know, in Philippians, it talks about forgetting 00:29:44.269 --> 00:29:47.089 what's behind and pressing on towards what lies 00:29:47.089 --> 00:29:50.029 ahead. And so that's been kind of a life verse 00:29:50.029 --> 00:29:52.450 of mine is like, OK, I'm going to let go of the 00:29:52.450 --> 00:29:56.250 old and grab on to the new. And it's always hard, 00:29:56.250 --> 00:29:58.930 you know, because we get very comfortable in 00:29:58.930 --> 00:30:01.750 our space. And that's one of the enemies that 00:30:01.750 --> 00:30:04.619 we have to fight is comfort. you know, because 00:30:04.619 --> 00:30:07.920 we don't want things to, you know, be uncomfortable. 00:30:08.140 --> 00:30:11.240 And it's just part of the human experience. And 00:30:11.240 --> 00:30:13.859 so God is always, you know, facilitating that 00:30:13.859 --> 00:30:16.640 growth out of our comfort zones to do things 00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:20.940 and to grab hold of what's new. So, yeah, this 00:30:20.940 --> 00:30:25.940 is, this is a really tangible way of describing 00:30:25.940 --> 00:30:32.670 an evolving identity. for a certain period, like 00:30:32.670 --> 00:30:36.190 when we're children, we're open and curious and 00:30:36.190 --> 00:30:39.529 expressive and not judging each other, but it 00:30:39.529 --> 00:30:42.150 starts young. My six year old, I'm seeing elements 00:30:42.150 --> 00:30:45.769 already, and I'd say they've been a little bit 00:30:45.769 --> 00:30:48.950 showing up for a year or so, so from age five. 00:30:50.230 --> 00:30:53.089 And then as we get older, we're really responding 00:30:53.089 --> 00:30:57.529 to how the... our perception of how the external 00:30:57.529 --> 00:31:01.069 environment slash people are responding to us. 00:31:01.390 --> 00:31:03.849 And then we start to shape our identity around 00:31:03.849 --> 00:31:07.890 that. And then we kind of grow up and settle 00:31:07.890 --> 00:31:13.789 into things that we've decided and stopped questioning, 00:31:14.210 --> 00:31:19.089 challenging or changing. And to do this identity 00:31:19.089 --> 00:31:26.079 shift requires a desire, hopefully. like a to 00:31:26.079 --> 00:31:30.079 kind of get out of your own way. But it also 00:31:30.079 --> 00:31:33.680 requires a deep vulnerability and willingness 00:31:33.680 --> 00:31:37.660 to move into unknowns and to hold yourself through 00:31:37.660 --> 00:31:41.140 some of that discomfort. And you can You know, 00:31:41.140 --> 00:31:43.960 you can have elements of grief as you change. 00:31:44.460 --> 00:31:46.819 But if you really want things to be different, 00:31:46.940 --> 00:31:49.880 then you have to be different. And you have to 00:31:49.880 --> 00:31:53.900 question, why have I decided this, that, and 00:31:53.900 --> 00:31:56.799 the other thing about myself? What else could 00:31:56.799 --> 00:32:01.440 be true? How did I feel earlier in life or how 00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:05.460 will I want to feel in the future? And start 00:32:05.460 --> 00:32:10.200 making some very easy shifts in your day to day. 00:32:10.519 --> 00:32:14.740 One example for me has been bedtime with my daughter. 00:32:15.160 --> 00:32:17.799 She does not go to bed early. Bless her sweet 00:32:17.799 --> 00:32:20.920 little heart. And I just trust the Lord that 00:32:20.920 --> 00:32:24.880 whatever. Okay, more time together every day. 00:32:25.380 --> 00:32:30.299 Sounds good. not getting mad and just being steady 00:32:30.299 --> 00:32:33.579 and present and redirecting her, you know, reminding 00:32:33.579 --> 00:32:36.579 her why rest is important, that it's safe to 00:32:36.579 --> 00:32:39.220 calm down, that this is how we go to sleep, is 00:32:39.220 --> 00:32:43.420 by laying in her beds and closing her eyes. Whereas 00:32:43.420 --> 00:32:47.579 even, I don't know, three plus months ago, I'd 00:32:47.579 --> 00:32:52.680 lose my poop and just be like... And then, of 00:32:52.680 --> 00:32:56.740 course, it wasn't mom guilt, it was... Why am 00:32:56.740 --> 00:33:02.299 I choosing this? Why am I choosing to be so frustrated? 00:33:03.160 --> 00:33:06.819 She is so little and delicate. And the other 00:33:06.819 --> 00:33:09.700 part that this feeds into is if that's an identity 00:33:09.700 --> 00:33:13.720 that I'm choosing, angry bedtime mom, where am 00:33:13.720 --> 00:33:15.880 I applying that in other parts of my life to 00:33:15.880 --> 00:33:19.759 myself and other loved ones or other people who 00:33:19.759 --> 00:33:22.680 have been put into my path in order to receive 00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:25.980 something from me, but I'm too caught up in my 00:33:25.980 --> 00:33:30.920 own ego or false identity that I can't serve 00:33:30.920 --> 00:33:35.430 it to them. and get it through. And in my line 00:33:35.430 --> 00:33:37.529 of work, I see this all the time because people 00:33:37.529 --> 00:33:41.849 come in highly upset, highly emotional, highly 00:33:41.849 --> 00:33:48.210 fixated on a situation. And I choose to hold 00:33:48.210 --> 00:33:52.690 that space for them and see if I can lead them 00:33:52.690 --> 00:33:56.369 towards softening it. and that is a practice 00:33:56.369 --> 00:34:00.069 that I do on myself and when I practice on others 00:34:00.069 --> 00:34:03.509 it comes back into me too and and that's how 00:34:03.509 --> 00:34:06.630 like I've been able to shift these bedtimes and 00:34:06.630 --> 00:34:12.210 it's way better now and and it's still late but 00:34:12.210 --> 00:34:17.449 it is peaceful and loving and if I can do that 00:34:17.449 --> 00:34:22.730 with something so simple as um bedtime where 00:34:22.730 --> 00:34:27.039 else can I Truly evolve and honor the Lord by 00:34:27.039 --> 00:34:34.000 showing up better more whole and more What like 00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:38.019 in order right to to deliver different outcomes 00:34:38.019 --> 00:34:42.039 for other people Yeah, that's so good. Sometimes 00:34:42.039 --> 00:34:46.900 we have to unlearn things. Yeah, and I have you 00:34:46.900 --> 00:34:49.880 know, I have six children and so by the time 00:34:49.880 --> 00:34:51.900 we you would think by the time you get to your 00:34:51.900 --> 00:34:56.079 six got it figured out and I love that example 00:34:56.079 --> 00:34:59.159 you shared of your child and our our last daughter 00:34:59.159 --> 00:35:03.159 has a diagnosis called pathological demand avoidance 00:35:03.159 --> 00:35:06.659 right and so I didn't know what that meant um 00:35:06.659 --> 00:35:09.099 and it's still it's a mouthful to try to explain 00:35:09.099 --> 00:35:11.760 so I probably won't dive into it but basically 00:35:11.760 --> 00:35:15.010 what it looks like in my home is that demands 00:35:15.010 --> 00:35:18.969 cause her to go into a state of fear and anxiety. 00:35:19.349 --> 00:35:22.489 And so because of that fear, she can't comply 00:35:22.489 --> 00:35:25.489 with anything and basic things, you know, very 00:35:25.489 --> 00:35:28.929 basic. And like instructions of like bedtime 00:35:28.929 --> 00:35:32.650 or can you please bring your cup to the sink? 00:35:32.750 --> 00:35:35.150 I mean, just pick up your shoes or just very 00:35:35.150 --> 00:35:38.329 simple things. And so I've, my husband and I 00:35:38.329 --> 00:35:41.150 have had to relearn how to parent. And I just 00:35:41.150 --> 00:35:44.300 love that. the analogy because I've learned how 00:35:44.300 --> 00:35:48.780 to basically serve her is what it looks like 00:35:48.780 --> 00:35:51.900 in real life is that I don't really demand anything 00:35:51.900 --> 00:35:54.619 at this point in our lives. I've reduced demands 00:35:54.619 --> 00:35:57.800 to just the bare bones to what we need to do 00:35:57.800 --> 00:36:00.659 to function and our whole household the atmosphere 00:36:00.659 --> 00:36:03.980 has shifted in such a significant way. So instead 00:36:03.980 --> 00:36:07.000 of the volatility instead of the conflict instead 00:36:07.000 --> 00:36:10.530 of you know the escalating tempers and voices 00:36:10.530 --> 00:36:13.849 and things it's just it's much more calm and 00:36:13.849 --> 00:36:17.329 I feel sometimes very um I've worked through 00:36:17.329 --> 00:36:19.989 this but I felt very judged for quite a while 00:36:19.989 --> 00:36:23.170 um just even by other parents by what we were 00:36:23.170 --> 00:36:25.949 allowing our child to get away with and thinking 00:36:25.949 --> 00:36:28.650 and sometimes even that you know Christian communities 00:36:28.650 --> 00:36:31.210 can be the worst because we have high standards 00:36:31.210 --> 00:36:34.170 you know we're doing things so differently than 00:36:34.170 --> 00:36:37.070 I I didn't believe this was the right way to 00:36:37.070 --> 00:36:40.889 parent. I mean, if I could have seen myself now 00:36:40.889 --> 00:36:43.510 a few years ago, I would have been shocked. But 00:36:43.510 --> 00:36:47.809 the fruit of it is more peace. There's more space 00:36:47.809 --> 00:36:51.050 in her nervous system for us to speak truth and 00:36:51.050 --> 00:36:54.369 to help train and teach her so that she can be 00:36:54.369 --> 00:36:57.230 a functioning adult one day. And so it's been 00:36:57.230 --> 00:36:59.849 unlearning years and years of things that we 00:36:59.849 --> 00:37:03.050 did with our other children. that we're not producing 00:37:03.050 --> 00:37:06.130 good fruit in her life. And so I think it's helped 00:37:06.130 --> 00:37:08.610 me to see the world differently and also accept 00:37:08.610 --> 00:37:11.550 other people and their, you know, their issues, 00:37:11.670 --> 00:37:13.730 the things that they come with instead of feeling 00:37:13.730 --> 00:37:16.829 like, oh, I have to change them. Or even as a 00:37:16.829 --> 00:37:20.030 coach, you know, knowing that my role isn't to 00:37:20.030 --> 00:37:22.489 like try to change anyone. It's just to help 00:37:22.489 --> 00:37:25.269 them figure out how to ask the right questions. 00:37:25.519 --> 00:37:28.440 maybe how to receive whatever is beautiful in 00:37:28.440 --> 00:37:31.179 this season, instead of looking at it as something 00:37:31.179 --> 00:37:34.739 to fight. And so kind of getting out of that 00:37:34.739 --> 00:37:37.800 fight or flight mode in my own family has helped 00:37:37.800 --> 00:37:40.619 me to help other people to see the things going 00:37:40.619 --> 00:37:44.139 on in their lives as, you know, perhaps an invitation 00:37:44.139 --> 00:37:48.199 to something greater instead of just, you know, 00:37:48.280 --> 00:37:51.579 a stressful circumstance. So, yeah, it's really 00:37:51.579 --> 00:37:56.730 good. To see it as as a bridge to something greater. 00:37:57.489 --> 00:38:01.389 Because when you shift now, listening to you, 00:38:01.389 --> 00:38:05.250 I know your heart is bigger. I know your capacity 00:38:05.250 --> 00:38:08.530 is bigger, even though there would have been 00:38:08.530 --> 00:38:12.789 some resistance to having to parent and change 00:38:12.789 --> 00:38:16.250 your identity, your perceptions, your attachments 00:38:16.250 --> 00:38:19.150 to how you were parenting and then have to bear 00:38:19.150 --> 00:38:23.860 the societal questioning. to see you doing that 00:38:23.860 --> 00:38:27.579 but by going first you give permission to others 00:38:27.579 --> 00:38:33.380 and you normalize the levels of I love how you 00:38:33.380 --> 00:38:36.579 said the levels of serving that people require 00:38:36.579 --> 00:38:39.280 we're meeting them where they are and I don't 00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:42.519 just mean in children I mean in everybody that 00:38:42.519 --> 00:38:45.760 we interact with we can make it about us and 00:38:45.760 --> 00:38:47.679 this is the kind of mom I am and this is how 00:38:47.679 --> 00:38:49.380 it's going to go down or this is the kind of 00:38:49.380 --> 00:38:53.460 employee I am etc. or we can really make it about 00:38:53.460 --> 00:38:57.719 that other person and hold them in a much deeper 00:38:57.719 --> 00:39:01.300 space that we also benefit from because it changes. 00:39:01.539 --> 00:39:04.619 It's like very reciprocal change of who we are. 00:39:05.340 --> 00:39:07.579 And yeah, Molly, in coaching, the coach should 00:39:07.579 --> 00:39:11.480 be guiding you into yourself and not controlling 00:39:11.480 --> 00:39:16.360 or directing, right? It's a revelation and an 00:39:16.360 --> 00:39:20.300 opening up. of your own self while they help 00:39:20.300 --> 00:39:22.719 you sort that out because it can be hard on your 00:39:22.719 --> 00:39:27.440 own to to do that level of work and in our day 00:39:27.440 --> 00:39:31.260 -to -day this is possible everywhere from how 00:39:31.260 --> 00:39:33.719 you're going to choose to wash the dishes and 00:39:33.719 --> 00:39:37.159 like this is God at work in my heart but I am 00:39:37.159 --> 00:39:40.920 so joyful washing the dishes cleaning the house 00:39:40.920 --> 00:39:43.119 folding the laundry I make a lot of jokes about 00:39:43.119 --> 00:39:48.869 laundry in my house of four not eight. But how 00:39:48.869 --> 00:39:53.929 lucky, how abundant, how like privileged to be 00:39:53.929 --> 00:39:58.489 able to have these things. And that softens the 00:39:58.489 --> 00:40:02.070 heart, which I think just makes us like gentler 00:40:02.070 --> 00:40:05.570 people to one another, right? And when we do 00:40:05.570 --> 00:40:08.929 that, it's, it's beyond like at work, I love 00:40:08.929 --> 00:40:11.710 to say when I can crack them, crack their hearts, 00:40:11.989 --> 00:40:13.789 I crack their hearts, I don't crack their bones, 00:40:14.010 --> 00:40:20.760 guys, calm down. get this beautiful honor to 00:40:20.760 --> 00:40:24.059 soften them and show them something that they 00:40:24.059 --> 00:40:26.219 kind of wanted but didn't know how to get to 00:40:26.219 --> 00:40:30.460 or were scared to get to. And that leads a greater 00:40:30.460 --> 00:40:34.440 benefit that comes with me and I think continues 00:40:34.440 --> 00:40:39.179 to reaffirm the identity that's still being created, 00:40:39.800 --> 00:40:43.099 right? Like we might have an idea and maybe an 00:40:43.099 --> 00:40:45.679 ego -driven idea of who we want to be, but if 00:40:45.679 --> 00:40:50.940 we can get deeper than that. And I guess it's 00:40:50.940 --> 00:40:52.920 a bit cliche, but like kind of really know who 00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:58.500 we actually are. Then new harvests can bloom 00:40:58.500 --> 00:41:04.659 out of that in a way that is far more natural 00:41:04.659 --> 00:41:13.420 and Holy Spirit driven. Yeah. So tell us now 00:41:13.420 --> 00:41:19.480 a bit about these changes and, you know, you've 00:41:19.480 --> 00:41:21.880 put this all together now and you've come into 00:41:21.880 --> 00:41:24.960 a new season of being able to harvest in your 00:41:24.960 --> 00:41:29.619 life. And how are you using that now in service 00:41:29.619 --> 00:41:31.780 of others, you know, like this beautiful face 00:41:31.780 --> 00:41:35.420 group you've created coaching other women and 00:41:35.420 --> 00:41:38.780 helping them, you know, take us into that part 00:41:38.780 --> 00:41:42.780 of your world. Yeah, I think it's it's really 00:41:42.780 --> 00:41:45.980 helping leaders, specifically, you know, Christian 00:41:45.980 --> 00:41:48.420 women. And I have a view that I think we're all 00:41:48.420 --> 00:41:51.619 called to leadership in some way, shape or form. 00:41:51.800 --> 00:41:54.440 If you're a disciple of Christ, you should have 00:41:54.440 --> 00:41:57.579 someone following you. Right. And so, you know, 00:41:57.679 --> 00:41:59.800 sometimes it's in the settings of our homes. 00:42:00.039 --> 00:42:02.900 Maybe it's in a ministry setting or a business 00:42:02.900 --> 00:42:07.420 or your workplace. Everybody's, you know, audience 00:42:07.420 --> 00:42:10.480 looks different, but helping women to Become 00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:12.699 better leaders and so to do that you have to 00:42:12.699 --> 00:42:15.599 lead yourself Well, yeah first and so a lot of 00:42:15.599 --> 00:42:18.079 it is what we've been discussing about identity 00:42:18.079 --> 00:42:21.920 about inner healing About processing events through 00:42:21.920 --> 00:42:24.880 the right lens and looking at it is like well, 00:42:24.940 --> 00:42:28.119 what was God doing in that season? and so learning 00:42:28.119 --> 00:42:31.039 how to become healthy that way and also learning 00:42:31.039 --> 00:42:33.659 how to recognize what your sovereign foundations 00:42:33.659 --> 00:42:36.360 were like What were the things that God put in 00:42:36.360 --> 00:42:39.989 place and your very beginnings? and how did those 00:42:39.989 --> 00:42:43.530 help shape your life and so looking at life in 00:42:43.530 --> 00:42:47.469 a series of kind of like stages and processes 00:42:47.469 --> 00:42:50.110 that we walk through and then there's life maturing 00:42:50.110 --> 00:42:53.070 which you know is kind of processing all these 00:42:53.070 --> 00:42:55.289 events and all the things and you're trying things 00:42:55.289 --> 00:42:59.329 out and we want to be used by God we want to 00:42:59.329 --> 00:43:02.550 be good workers and good worker bees but often 00:43:02.550 --> 00:43:05.519 what happens is that he's working in us. And 00:43:05.519 --> 00:43:09.019 so that's really the depth of what's going on. 00:43:09.059 --> 00:43:12.420 And then you get into other phases where you 00:43:12.420 --> 00:43:15.880 are being more fruitful and producing, kind of 00:43:15.880 --> 00:43:20.219 living your calling out. And what does that look 00:43:20.219 --> 00:43:22.199 like? What is that season? And ultimately, we 00:43:22.199 --> 00:43:24.840 want to get to convergence, where everything 00:43:24.840 --> 00:43:28.079 that's happened in your life is coming to a head. 00:43:28.280 --> 00:43:31.059 All the relationships, the experiences. You're 00:43:31.059 --> 00:43:33.699 done doing the things. you're bad at, you know, 00:43:33.780 --> 00:43:36.539 you can say no to those things that you're just 00:43:36.539 --> 00:43:38.800 saying yes, because you feel like you have to. 00:43:38.940 --> 00:43:40.980 And you're really doing the things that you were 00:43:40.980 --> 00:43:43.559 created to do. And, you know, you can look at 00:43:43.559 --> 00:43:45.940 someone like Billy Graham, for instance, that 00:43:45.940 --> 00:43:48.219 was just he reached that point of convergence. 00:43:49.019 --> 00:43:51.260 And a lot of leaders don't reach that point. 00:43:51.400 --> 00:43:54.420 Most leaders plateau. and they stop growing and 00:43:54.420 --> 00:43:56.780 they just kind of stay at that same level and 00:43:56.780 --> 00:43:59.820 just kind of flatten out or tap out or there's 00:43:59.820 --> 00:44:02.519 different red flags you know different landmines 00:44:02.519 --> 00:44:05.280 that we step on and you see people all the time 00:44:05.280 --> 00:44:08.239 that are falling you know getting into maybe 00:44:08.239 --> 00:44:12.179 it's financial problems or moral failure sometimes 00:44:12.179 --> 00:44:14.159 it's failure at home with their children and 00:44:14.159 --> 00:44:16.719 those things take them out completely of leadership 00:44:16.719 --> 00:44:19.539 and you don't ever hear from them again. And 00:44:19.539 --> 00:44:22.119 so we have to learn how to avoid those pitfalls, 00:44:22.199 --> 00:44:24.800 what they are, how to avoid them. How do you 00:44:24.800 --> 00:44:27.179 continue growing as a leader, even when you've 00:44:27.179 --> 00:44:29.480 reached some success? You know, what are the 00:44:29.480 --> 00:44:32.840 things to have in place to continue to become 00:44:32.840 --> 00:44:35.280 that person that Christ has called you to become? 00:44:35.360 --> 00:44:39.480 And so I really help, you know, women to do this 00:44:39.480 --> 00:44:41.559 and to look at their lives through this lens 00:44:41.559 --> 00:44:44.519 and reach, you know, their goals in life without 00:44:44.519 --> 00:44:48.400 sacrificing their family on that altar of ambition. 00:44:48.559 --> 00:44:52.059 or ministry, whatever it is, to really look at 00:44:52.059 --> 00:44:56.500 what success means to reward and ultimately to 00:44:56.500 --> 00:44:58.300 figure out why we're doing the things that we're 00:44:58.300 --> 00:45:01.800 doing. What is our philosophy of ministry, if 00:45:01.800 --> 00:45:03.840 you could call it that? I know it's a mouthful, 00:45:03.880 --> 00:45:06.900 but sometimes we're just on autopilot. I mean, 00:45:07.039 --> 00:45:09.179 we just kind of do the same things habitually 00:45:09.179 --> 00:45:11.519 every day. And if we don't stop and think about 00:45:11.519 --> 00:45:15.010 why, or how if we're going to develop other people, 00:45:15.150 --> 00:45:17.110 how are we doing that, you know, and putting 00:45:17.110 --> 00:45:19.210 those down. And so you can kind of say like, 00:45:19.309 --> 00:45:21.969 this is why I do the things I do. This is what 00:45:21.969 --> 00:45:24.369 I believe about it. This is what God has taught 00:45:24.369 --> 00:45:27.510 me. And so kind of having some framework to help 00:45:27.510 --> 00:45:30.570 make decisions and help develop other people, 00:45:30.610 --> 00:45:32.869 because that's the number one job of a Christian 00:45:32.869 --> 00:45:36.090 leader is to develop people. So it's important 00:45:36.090 --> 00:45:38.190 that we think about, you know, how we're doing 00:45:38.190 --> 00:45:40.650 it and why we're doing it so that, you know, 00:45:40.650 --> 00:45:44.440 we can leave a footprint here on this earth and 00:45:44.440 --> 00:45:47.280 that our work doesn't just crumble, you know, 00:45:47.280 --> 00:45:50.940 we want it to be able to stand. So yeah, so I 00:45:50.940 --> 00:45:53.000 have a course that kind of walks women through 00:45:53.000 --> 00:45:55.579 this process and it's always different for each 00:45:55.579 --> 00:45:58.460 person and their situation and their circumstances, 00:45:58.579 --> 00:46:01.480 what they're going through and through transition. 00:46:01.699 --> 00:46:04.139 Transition is just a big part of our lives, you 00:46:04.139 --> 00:46:06.440 know, we're always one thing that's for sure 00:46:06.440 --> 00:46:08.900 and certain is that things will change, they're 00:46:08.900 --> 00:46:11.780 not going to stay the same. So, you know, just 00:46:11.780 --> 00:46:15.579 staying soft and pliable and adaptable and able 00:46:15.579 --> 00:46:18.599 to, you know, not get bent out of shape that 00:46:18.599 --> 00:46:23.239 way. And I again hear and see that trapeze example 00:46:23.239 --> 00:46:26.320 that you gave and being willing to let go and 00:46:26.320 --> 00:46:29.820 float for a moment before catching the next bar 00:46:29.820 --> 00:46:32.840 and swinging into the what, you know, the next 00:46:32.840 --> 00:46:35.960 step like that. I've heard it called the gap 00:46:35.960 --> 00:46:38.500 as well, where you're you're in the gap of your 00:46:38.500 --> 00:46:43.179 growth. And it can be the most vulnerable because 00:46:43.179 --> 00:46:47.679 it can be so easy to just go back to what was, 00:46:47.840 --> 00:46:53.159 right? And that is a beautiful space to encourage 00:46:53.159 --> 00:46:57.980 somebody to stay in and move ahead from. It's 00:46:57.980 --> 00:47:02.239 just like you have such a presence and such a 00:47:02.239 --> 00:47:06.639 clear. understanding and messaging around your 00:47:06.639 --> 00:47:10.300 work in the world, Molly. It's so beautiful to 00:47:10.300 --> 00:47:13.960 sit here and pay witness to that and receive 00:47:13.960 --> 00:47:16.219 from that. And I just want to thank you for sharing 00:47:16.219 --> 00:47:18.840 that wisdom and this message around identity, 00:47:18.960 --> 00:47:24.659 which leads us through our lives and into, you 00:47:24.659 --> 00:47:27.059 know, other fulfillments that are waiting for 00:47:27.059 --> 00:47:31.199 us. It's such like kind of the epicenter of it 00:47:31.199 --> 00:47:36.880 all. Thank you Mia, I appreciate that. So you 00:47:36.880 --> 00:47:39.139 guys, I'm gonna share all her links in the socials 00:47:39.139 --> 00:47:43.500 for you and if you felt that pull, please go 00:47:43.500 --> 00:47:46.179 and have a conversation with her, join her Facebook 00:47:46.179 --> 00:47:48.139 group and spend some time in that. There's no 00:47:48.139 --> 00:47:54.429 way you won't grow from being in her space. Well, 00:47:54.429 --> 00:47:57.510 thank you for the conversation and the opportunity. 00:47:57.650 --> 00:48:00.429 And I just love what you're doing. Just kind 00:48:00.429 --> 00:48:03.170 of spotlighting the everyday woman. I think that's 00:48:03.170 --> 00:48:06.429 just amazing. There's heroes all around us and 00:48:06.429 --> 00:48:09.550 everyone has a story. So just giving, you know, 00:48:09.670 --> 00:48:12.409 someone like me a platform to share that is really 00:48:12.409 --> 00:48:15.230 such a special gift. Thank you.