Hello hello, this is the Feelings Pod and I'm your host Sabrina Amina.
Thank you so much for tuning in today.
I'm super excited about today's episode because I'm feeling that it's about time for us to
talk about some, a little bit more about the lighter, more fun emotions.
I think the most fun emotion I've talked about on these episodes so far might have been conf,
not confusion, although confusion can be fun.
Curiosity, yeah curiosity is a really fun one and I think, well you can go back to the episode to hear
some of my thoughts on curiosity.
But just a tip before we get into today's topic, any emotion that you experience and sprinkle in a bit of curiosity,
there's something to be discovered.
Yeah but today we're talking about connection, how it feels to be connected.
I love this topic and I'm so surprised that it took me, I don't know, 17 episodes, almost 20 episodes, maybe 18.
Yeah I think this might be episode 18.
Season 2 episode 8.
Oh my goodness, yeah, yeah I am, I'm shocked that it took me this long to get to connection,
although it's been a rough winter and transitioning into spring, well you know how uncomfortable transitions are.
So here we are, we've finally made it, we're talking about connection.
And before I talk about any other kind of connection, first and foremost the most important foundational connection we have is the connection that we have with ourselves.
It is so integral to any other type of connection that we want to cultivate in our lives.
I also want to make space for the conversation about connections not necessarily with other humans but the connections we have with our environment, the connections that we have with our work,
the connection that we have with our creativity, the material things in our lives.
Oh this is such a rich topic, yes.
So yes first and foremost, whatever ways that you can cultivate a deep connection with yourself is so important.
And if you can just take a moment to settle in to wherever you are, you know maybe roll the shoulders back a little bit, find a bit more presence in this moment because the next question I'm about to ask is an important one.
And I really want you to tune in, feel the question in your body and allow the response to come to you.
And my invitation is for you to think about what makes you feel connected.
More specifically, when do you feel most connected to yourself?
When are the moments that you just feel grounded, integrated, self-loving, self-appreciative, self-aware?
Do you notice those moments throughout your day?
And this might be a challenging question for some of us because I work with 100 plus students all day every day so I work with teenagers and I notice that we're all social creatures
and especially at that developmental stage, connection with our peers is super important.
But before we can get to the really deeply meaningful, fulfilling connections with others, we have to return to ourselves.
And sometimes that work can be a little bit frightening.
Sometimes it's hard to face ourselves and be with ourselves, sometimes it's super uncomfortable because we don't want to feel the hurt, we don't want to feel the pain, we don't want to feel the sadness, we want to escape from it a lot of times.
I certainly did when I was a teenager, when I was a child and even as an adult, that shit's uncomfortable.
I don't want to feel it.
I mean, actually I do.
I mean, at this point I've gotten to a place where I know it's necessary but there certainly are moments when I run for my life when something uncomfortable happens and we don't really necessarily do it consciously.
You know, the body, it's actually a protective response that comes from the body that when it feels under threat, you know, our fight, flight, freeze, fawn responses are activated.
If you're interested to learn more about these trauma responses, I highly recommend learning from Luis Mojica and his brilliant podcast called Holistic Life Navigation.
So yeah, when we are activated emotionally, when we're angry, when we're fearful, when we're just feeling down and sad and it's hard to be with those emotions.
So really cultivating an ability to turn inward rather than outward is powerful because it's from this place that we can begin to learn that, wow, I can offer myself some, at least some of the things that I need,
if not many or most.
But when we first begin this work, it's helpful to just notice the small things.
So if the initial question of when do I feel connected to myself didn't necessarily feel so accessible to you,
another question to explore could be, you know, when are the moments that I offer myself loving care?
Or even how can I offer myself a little bit more loving care?
How can I offer myself a little bit more tenderness?
How can I let go of some of my self judgment?
How can I be more appreciative of my whole human?
All of the parts, not just my achievements, not just the things I'm good at, not just the things that other people celebrate about me.
How can I tap in to my heart, to my soul, my spirit, my body, my being?
How can I tap into the essence of me and tune into the things that I love about myself?
And this is also not an easy question when we're hypercritical and self-deprecating.
And perhaps something that could help us access a response to this question a little more is,
what are the moments where I'm feeling just pretty good?
Like what are those moments?
Are there moments where I'm feeling self-satisfied and kind of like proud of myself?
And yeah, it's great to feel acknowledged and celebrated by others.
Is there a way for us to acknowledge and celebrate ourselves?
For even just like the weird quirky things.
Like maybe you have like a strange collection of things that just brings you joy.
I think I saw a TikTok during the pandemic or something.
This woman was like, I think her TikTok was literally about like her stick collection.
She was just collecting sticks.
She was so into her stick collection that she just was like, her TikTok was so compelling and entertaining
because she was lit up by this strange, like, hobby that she picks up in the madness of our lockdown and pandemic.
So yeah, think about the weird shit that makes you light up.
That's something to be celebrated.
That is part of your magic.
And yes, you are magical.
You have magic in you.
Maybe no one has ever told you that.
So I'm going to say it again.
You are magic and you have magic in you.
So my invitation is tap into your magic.
Notice it.
Oh, I knew this was going to be a fun episode.
Yeah, this is where I really, like, I've gotten so much better.
I've gotten so much better at tuning into my magic and my weirdness and celebrating the parts of myself that have even been shamed by others
because that's some powerful stuff.
Like, who has shamed you?
And sometimes people shame you for the things that they wish they had.
Sometimes people will ridicule you and shame you for things that they see in you that bring up envy in them.
So, yeah, having like a good grounded sense of self is an intentional practice.
It really requires stillness and mindfulness and attention and presence, awareness.
I think that's a really big reason why mindfulness is so important to me and why I'm so passionate about sharing these tools with anyone and everyone,
but especially young people, is because the more safety we feel within ourselves and really connection is about safety.
There can be no real, true, deep sense of connection without a feeling of safety.
So, the more that we're able to come home to ourselves and feel safe being with ourselves, all the messy, weird, wild, wonderful, magical parts of ourselves,
the more we can feel connected to ourselves and the more open we are and available we are to deep, meaningful, transformative, uplifting connections with others.
And it doesn't even have to be, those connections can be momentary. They can be a connection or an interaction that you have with a stranger and something I've noticed as my self-love, self-compassion practice has grown.
I love those moments when I can see the magic in someone else immediately. I'll see something, I'll recognize it, and I will outwardly express what I see.
It's usually in terms of a compliment. It's usually a compliment.
I generally won't say, hey girl, I see your magic to a stranger, but I do. I really do and I think that that is one of my gifts that I've been able to access because I've done a lot of intentional work around connecting with myself.
And I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said, and I'll say it again and again and again.
An important part of my work is just having had the immense privilege to access to a wonderful therapist and being committed to therapeutic work in whatever form that may be, it doesn't always necessarily have to be talk therapy,
but being committed to therapeutic work and self-inquiry is an act of self-love. It's an act of connecting with yourself.
Honestly, this topic is so near and dear to my heart and I feel as though, yeah, there's probably, yes, I definitely feel like connection is a topic that I'm going to revisit in like a part two, maybe even a part three.
Maybe I'll even invite a guest on. That would be fun.
Oh, to my lovely friends who are tuned in and listening, if you're interested in joining me for episode two or an episode three on connection, this is my invitation.
Okay, so I think episode one, I'm going to leave it at the importance of connection with ourselves.
Yeah, this first episode on connection, I really just want you, invite you to sit with this question of how can I cultivate greater connection with myself?
How can I invite curiosity about me to connect more with myself?
So yeah, sit with that question this week, explore it, really like get comfy with it, especially if it's a question that's making you uncomfortable in this moment.
Sometimes the things that make us uncomfortable are the things that we, it's like the medicine that we need the most.
Don't run away, don't run away from yourself, don't run away from the uncomfortable parts, don't turn away from the things that you feel shame about, don't run away from your angst and your rage and your sorrow and your joy and your longings and your desires and your envy and your jealousy.
Turn towards it, turn towards the most accessible parts of yourself first and then allow yourself to really mindfully be with the things that feel more challenging.
And with that, I invite you to get comfy because it's time for our mindfulness practice.
Find a comfortable seat or lie down or pause the episode and come back when you have a moment to be with yourself fully.
And once you're in that space of comfort, notice any micro adjustments that you could make that would make yourself maybe just 10% more comfortable where you are right now.
Maybe it's allowing the shoulders to soften, maybe it's connecting to the breath to ground, maybe it's just noticing what's present for you in your body.
And once you feel good and settled, really bringing intentional attention to your breath, you don't have to change anything about your breath in this moment.
Just notice that and sometimes the mere act of bringing attention to something will shift it often when we notice something that attention brings about change.
Notice the quality of your breath.
Inhale and exhale.
Notice if your breath feels constricted or if it's flowing.
Notice if it's a shallow quick breath or it's starting to slow down in this moment with your attention.
And I'd like to start by rubbing the hands together and creating a little bit of friction, creating a little bit of warmth between the palms.
And when you're ready, place those palms gently over the heart space.
Take a deep breath in here.
Pause at the top of the breath and let it out with an exhale, a full exhale.
And pause after your exhale.
Continue with that pattern.
Inhale, pause, exhale, pause at your own pace.
As I guide you through some questions to consider, do your best to maintain your breath, maintain that grounded feeling in your body as you consider the following questions.
As your hands rest over your heart space, really tune in to the heart and notice in this moment what emotions are present for me right now.
Just take a moment to pause and consider.
Maybe the answer will come to you immediately. Maybe you know exactly how you're feeling in this moment.
And maybe there is no answer.
Maybe there's just a neutral feeling.
Maybe there's not one prominent emotion for you in this moment.
Just notice what it is.
Notice the quality of the emotion.
Is it a pleasant emotion?
Is it uncomfortable?
Does the emotion feel expansive or constricting?
And whatever that feeling is, notice if that emotion has an aliveness in the body.
Do you feel the emotion anywhere particular in the body?
Take a deep breath in, pause, exhale, pause.
Take a deep breath in, pause, exhale, and pause.
And once you've located where the emotion lives in the body in this moment,
or perhaps there's no particular place and you're feeling pretty neutral,
just have a general sense of the physical body.
And if there is a spot in the body where you feel this emotion, tune into that.
Does this emotion have a pulse?
Does it have a lightness to it?
Does it have a weight to it?
Does it have a texture?
And as you're bringing your attention to this feeling in the body, is it shifting at all?
Notice what it feels like to breathe into this space, breathe into the emotion.
Take a deep breath in and direct your breath towards that emotion in the body.
Inhale, pause, exhale, and pause.
Now the next question I'll ask is,
the next question I invite you to ask of yourself is,
what do I need in this moment?
Is this emotion communicating a need for something?
And try to resist the temptation to search for an answer.
Let the answer float its way to you.
Let the answer come to you.
There's no need to search.
Simply asking the question is an invitation for a response.
And a response may come and it may not, and that's okay.
Either way is fine.
Take a deep breath in,
pause at the top, let it go,
pause.
What do I need in this moment?
What does this emotion want to communicate to me?
What is this feeling telling me?
Take a deep breath in,
pause, and exhale.
Pause.
Allow yourself to continue breathing.
Inhale, pause, exhale, pause,
following that rhythm for as long as you like.
And whenever you're ready,
come back to the room,
allow the eyes to flutter open,
and notice how you feel.
Thank you so much for practicing with me today.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Thank you so much for listening.
Thank you so much for listening to yourself.
Thank you so much for offering yourself this time of tenderness, love, and care.
Have a wonderful day.
I wish you well.