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Hello, hello, hello! My name is Sabrina Amina, and this is the Feelings Pod.

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Today's episode is on Envy, which is certainly an emotion that has had a lot of presence

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and power in my life. And as I kind of grow in my self-awareness, I've become more and

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more tuned in to what Envy and more jealousy are communicating to me. And that's what we

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do here. We get curious about our feelings and we explore what messages are behind all of it.

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So jealousy is certainly a shadowy feeling in my experience. It's a feeling that was intensely

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present in my childhood as someone who grew up with five siblings. And I feel as though in some

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ways we were all seeking, ultimately love that felt like it was in limited supply.

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So competition never feels good to me, never even felt good to me as a kid, never liked

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competing. It felt like I couldn't have something unless I was taking it away from somebody else.

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And if someone else had something, it meant that I couldn't have it. And you know, that's very much a

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scarcity mindset, very much a capitalistic mindset now as an adult. I certainly lean more towards an

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abundance mindset and check myself when things feel like they're sliding back into that fear-based

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scarcity mindset. And now Envy is a really powerful tool for me to tune into my desires. So instead

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of going from Envy to resentment, I go from Envy to inspiration. I see I can witness my Envy and

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dialogue with it. Like my mindfulness practice has certainly allowed me to be more present to the

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feelings in my body and being and use that information in a more supportive way. I have to

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recommend a book by Gabrielle Bernstein. It's called Judgment Detox, which she talks a lot

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about Envy and Jealousy in that book. And I highly recommend it. Check it out if Envy and Jealousy is

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something that feels like a struggle for you in your life. I think Envy and Jealousy also can stem

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from this feeling of unworthiness or feeling like you're not enough or you're not good enough or

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you're not talented enough or special enough or beautiful enough or any number of things that

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come to mind that make you feel inadequate. And the truth of the matter is my truth is noticing

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when Envy comes up in me. It's become a really profound exploration for me because a lot of

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times Envy comes up more so I think most often in relationship, but it also comes up in terms of

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like achievements that I see other folks have made that I would like for myself. And a really

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powerful shift I've made in my thinking when noticing that is, oh, this person has something

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that I've been longing for, something that I desire. And instead of shrinking into the scarcity

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mindset, I've learned that it's in fact evidence of the possibilities that are available to me.

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And it's Spirit God, the universe showing me the breadcrumbs, that breadcrumb trail that's

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leading me to my iteration, my version, my eventual experience of my heart's desire,

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which is pretty exciting. It makes me feel more excited when I see my desires reflected in the

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people around me. It makes it seem more of a possibility, like it's more within reach.

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Yeah, and those folks inspire me and often when I approach someone with that energy and presence,

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they're excited to share in their success or love or... Yeah, it feels good to be... And I don't

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even necessarily have to engage with anybody, I witness who has something or isn't experiencing

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something that I desire. It's just enough for me to see it in my space, in my life experience.

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It also is giving me, like exploring the feelings of envy and jealousy is also giving me an

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opportunity to take a look at this need to possess and take ownership of something or someone.

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And ultimately trying to possess something to control it or to keep it within your grasp

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feels like a... It doesn't feel like an expansive space for me. Yeah, envy is tricky, but it is a

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place where I am feeling called to lean into more and more lately. Growing up with my sister, we had a

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very tense relationship. There was a lot of envy present there. If I saw something, if I saw a

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talent of hers, I... And not with very much awareness at all, I'd feel inadequate. Looking back now,

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I can understand, oh, those were feelings of inadequacy that jealousy came from feeling like,

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oh, I'm not as good of an artist as she is or I'm not as good of a singer or I'm not as beautiful,

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I'm not as loved. And now one of my greatest sources of inspiration is my sister. She...

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Yeah, it's a little... It's challenging to talk about this actually because she's...

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It's bringing up a lot of emotion. But what I am feeling is a lot of gratitude for her.

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Because the people in our lives who bring up the most challenging emotions in us are often the ones

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that we have the most to learn from. And probably one of the greatest teachers in my lifetime is my

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sister. And yeah. So my invitation for you this week is to notice where envy, resentment,

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jealousy comes up in your day to day life. But also letting go of the shame you might feel of

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feeling jealous of someone and being like, oh, this emotion doesn't feel good to me because

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jealousy is not a good emotion to feel. So kind of getting away from this idea that they're good

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or bad emotions. Like there are emotions that feel constricting and uncomfortable. And there are

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emotions that feel more pleasurable and expansive. But they're all valuable experiences that have

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a lot to teach us. And certainly my most profound lessons come from the emotions that feel... Well,

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I won't say that. There are profound lessons from joy and pleasure, just as there are profound

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lessons from more difficult, uncomfortable emotions. Like the wisdom that comes from our

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emotion doesn't always have to be a struggle. It doesn't always have to be pain and angst and

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melancholy. So yeah. See if you can invite a bit of playfulness to jealousy or envy and be like,

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ooh, I'm jealous of that person because they have this thing. But maybe this person is here

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to show me that I can have this thing too. Letting go of this quality of needing to possess,

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needing to own, needing to have ownership of something. Yeah. If that invitation feels good to

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you, go ahead and see what comes up for you this week if feelings of jealousy arise. And yes,

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sometimes we deny even feeling jealousy, but notice that too. You're like, I'm not jealous. Really? So

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yeah, get curious. Lean into envy and jealousy this week and see what it has to offer, what

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lessons it has to offer and teach you. We'll just do a short breathing practice today. So

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find a comfortable seat. Find some ease in your alignment from your hips to your heart to your

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shoulders, crown of your head. Imagine your shoulders kind of melting down your back and

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allowing any tension to dissolve. Imagining your jaw muscles kind of relax and soften. And

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imagine that your head is as light as a feather and kind of floating up towards the clouds and

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noticing an unburdening from your shoulders as your head feels lighter and floats up.

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As you settle into this position, take a deep breath in through the nose and fill the belly

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diaphragm. Inhale, hold your breath at the top and exhale. Hold your breath. Take a deep inhale,

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hold and let it go. Hold the breath and inhale. Hold the breath and exhale.

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Hold the breath. Take a deep breath in. Pause and exhale. Allow yourself a moment to sit in

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stillness. If you wish to continue the breath at your own pace, feel free to do so. When you

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feel ready, you can rub the palms of the hands together, creating a little bit of friction and

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warmth. And then rest the palms over the heart space. Imagining that warmth all around the

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heart space from the front of your heart to the back. Take a deep breath in and let it go.

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We'll do that twice more into the heart space. Take a deep breath in and let it go. And finally,

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take a deep breath in and let it go. Be with the stillness. Notice how you're feeling in this

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moment. Offer yourself a bit of love and gratitude for giving yourself the opportunity to pause and

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breathe and be. And when you feel ready, slowly let the eyes flutter open. Bring your full

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presence back to your space. Thank you so much for practicing with me today. Thank you so much

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for listening. Have a great day.