Hello, hello, hello! My name is Sabrina Amina, and this is the Feelings Pod.
Today's episode is on Envy, which is certainly an emotion that has had a lot of presence
and power in my life. And as I kind of grow in my self-awareness, I've become more and
more tuned in to what Envy and more jealousy are communicating to me. And that's what we
do here. We get curious about our feelings and we explore what messages are behind all of it.
So jealousy is certainly a shadowy feeling in my experience. It's a feeling that was intensely
present in my childhood as someone who grew up with five siblings. And I feel as though in some
ways we were all seeking, ultimately love that felt like it was in limited supply.
So competition never feels good to me, never even felt good to me as a kid, never liked
competing. It felt like I couldn't have something unless I was taking it away from somebody else.
And if someone else had something, it meant that I couldn't have it. And you know, that's very much a
scarcity mindset, very much a capitalistic mindset now as an adult. I certainly lean more towards an
abundance mindset and check myself when things feel like they're sliding back into that fear-based
scarcity mindset. And now Envy is a really powerful tool for me to tune into my desires. So instead
of going from Envy to resentment, I go from Envy to inspiration. I see I can witness my Envy and
dialogue with it. Like my mindfulness practice has certainly allowed me to be more present to the
feelings in my body and being and use that information in a more supportive way. I have to
recommend a book by Gabrielle Bernstein. It's called Judgment Detox, which she talks a lot
about Envy and Jealousy in that book. And I highly recommend it. Check it out if Envy and Jealousy is
something that feels like a struggle for you in your life. I think Envy and Jealousy also can stem
from this feeling of unworthiness or feeling like you're not enough or you're not good enough or
you're not talented enough or special enough or beautiful enough or any number of things that
come to mind that make you feel inadequate. And the truth of the matter is my truth is noticing
when Envy comes up in me. It's become a really profound exploration for me because a lot of
times Envy comes up more so I think most often in relationship, but it also comes up in terms of
like achievements that I see other folks have made that I would like for myself. And a really
powerful shift I've made in my thinking when noticing that is, oh, this person has something
that I've been longing for, something that I desire. And instead of shrinking into the scarcity
mindset, I've learned that it's in fact evidence of the possibilities that are available to me.
And it's Spirit God, the universe showing me the breadcrumbs, that breadcrumb trail that's
leading me to my iteration, my version, my eventual experience of my heart's desire,
which is pretty exciting. It makes me feel more excited when I see my desires reflected in the
people around me. It makes it seem more of a possibility, like it's more within reach.
Yeah, and those folks inspire me and often when I approach someone with that energy and presence,
they're excited to share in their success or love or... Yeah, it feels good to be... And I don't
even necessarily have to engage with anybody, I witness who has something or isn't experiencing
something that I desire. It's just enough for me to see it in my space, in my life experience.
It also is giving me, like exploring the feelings of envy and jealousy is also giving me an
opportunity to take a look at this need to possess and take ownership of something or someone.
And ultimately trying to possess something to control it or to keep it within your grasp
feels like a... It doesn't feel like an expansive space for me. Yeah, envy is tricky, but it is a
place where I am feeling called to lean into more and more lately. Growing up with my sister, we had a
very tense relationship. There was a lot of envy present there. If I saw something, if I saw a
talent of hers, I... And not with very much awareness at all, I'd feel inadequate. Looking back now,
I can understand, oh, those were feelings of inadequacy that jealousy came from feeling like,
oh, I'm not as good of an artist as she is or I'm not as good of a singer or I'm not as beautiful,
I'm not as loved. And now one of my greatest sources of inspiration is my sister. She...
Yeah, it's a little... It's challenging to talk about this actually because she's...
It's bringing up a lot of emotion. But what I am feeling is a lot of gratitude for her.
Because the people in our lives who bring up the most challenging emotions in us are often the ones
that we have the most to learn from. And probably one of the greatest teachers in my lifetime is my
sister. And yeah. So my invitation for you this week is to notice where envy, resentment,
jealousy comes up in your day to day life. But also letting go of the shame you might feel of
feeling jealous of someone and being like, oh, this emotion doesn't feel good to me because
jealousy is not a good emotion to feel. So kind of getting away from this idea that they're good
or bad emotions. Like there are emotions that feel constricting and uncomfortable. And there are
emotions that feel more pleasurable and expansive. But they're all valuable experiences that have
a lot to teach us. And certainly my most profound lessons come from the emotions that feel... Well,
I won't say that. There are profound lessons from joy and pleasure, just as there are profound
lessons from more difficult, uncomfortable emotions. Like the wisdom that comes from our
emotion doesn't always have to be a struggle. It doesn't always have to be pain and angst and
melancholy. So yeah. See if you can invite a bit of playfulness to jealousy or envy and be like,
ooh, I'm jealous of that person because they have this thing. But maybe this person is here
to show me that I can have this thing too. Letting go of this quality of needing to possess,
needing to own, needing to have ownership of something. Yeah. If that invitation feels good to
you, go ahead and see what comes up for you this week if feelings of jealousy arise. And yes,
sometimes we deny even feeling jealousy, but notice that too. You're like, I'm not jealous. Really? So
yeah, get curious. Lean into envy and jealousy this week and see what it has to offer, what
lessons it has to offer and teach you. We'll just do a short breathing practice today. So
find a comfortable seat. Find some ease in your alignment from your hips to your heart to your
shoulders, crown of your head. Imagine your shoulders kind of melting down your back and
allowing any tension to dissolve. Imagining your jaw muscles kind of relax and soften. And
imagine that your head is as light as a feather and kind of floating up towards the clouds and
noticing an unburdening from your shoulders as your head feels lighter and floats up.
As you settle into this position, take a deep breath in through the nose and fill the belly
diaphragm. Inhale, hold your breath at the top and exhale. Hold your breath. Take a deep inhale,
hold and let it go. Hold the breath and inhale. Hold the breath and exhale.
Hold the breath. Take a deep breath in. Pause and exhale. Allow yourself a moment to sit in
stillness. If you wish to continue the breath at your own pace, feel free to do so. When you
feel ready, you can rub the palms of the hands together, creating a little bit of friction and
warmth. And then rest the palms over the heart space. Imagining that warmth all around the
heart space from the front of your heart to the back. Take a deep breath in and let it go.
We'll do that twice more into the heart space. Take a deep breath in and let it go. And finally,
take a deep breath in and let it go. Be with the stillness. Notice how you're feeling in this
moment. Offer yourself a bit of love and gratitude for giving yourself the opportunity to pause and
breathe and be. And when you feel ready, slowly let the eyes flutter open. Bring your full
presence back to your space. Thank you so much for practicing with me today. Thank you so much
for listening. Have a great day.