Hello hello, this is Sabrina Amina and I'm the host of the feelings pod.
This is a podcast where I share some thoughts about feelings and a brief mindfulness practice
at the end of every episode.
Thank you for tuning in, thank you for listening.
Today's episode is about vulnerability.
When I choose topics for these episodes, I tend to choose something that's been present
and vulnerability has certainly been coming up for me over the last couple of weeks.
I always like to think that I'm really good at being vulnerable.
But in most recent weeks I've been noticing where my limits are when it comes to vulnerability.
I love vulnerability until I don't until it becomes too deep and too scary and too exposing.
And then I want to retreat from it.
Vulnerability feels expansive and in the right company, even if that company is your own,
witnessing the depth of your vulnerability will teach you something.
But I think the best way to explore vulnerability is in relationship, noticing where your edge
is when it comes to sharing the deepest, truest parts of yourself.
Sometimes I'm able to share, actually I think I do a really good job sharing authentically
with my students.
That's one realm where I feel there's a certain level of vulnerability.
Sometimes just being your true authentic self and being very real about who you are, where you are,
how you're feeling, what's present for you.
Being radically honest about that can be quite vulnerable.
And I think vulnerability requires being honest with ourselves first and foremost
and being able to tune in to our own truths and being fully accepting of our own truths
before we can feel safe enough to share it with others.
And let's face it, we've all been in situations where we've been vulnerable
and that vulnerability was not either not well received or in the worst cases,
your vulnerability can be used against you, right?
So there's definitely risk involved in vulnerability, but like with all risks,
there's an opportunity for great gains when you're able to explore the depths of your vulnerability
and ability to be witnessed.
And if you're a person who can lovingly hold space for another human's vulnerability,
that's quite a profound gift.
Sometimes folks get uncomfortable witnessing real raw truth.
And sometimes those real raw truths rub up against our own that we've not been ready or willing to face.
So in the past couple of weeks I've noticed myself opening up and being vulnerable in new ways in relationship
and that's felt very exciting but also terrifying at times.
And for those of us that tend to think that we're too much, our feelings are too much,
our ways of expressing ourselves are too much,
it's easy to set a limit to how vulnerable you can be.
But the more I delve into my practice of self-love and self-compassion and self-care,
the more I'm able to lovingly hold space for my whole human experience with presence.
The braver I become about being vulnerable with others, others that feel safe
and the best relationships are the ones where you can be vulnerable and share your whole truth.
And the relationships that are most difficult are the ones where you have to hide your truth or be different than who you are.
Those relationships are generally not very sustainable without costing you a great deal of anguish and pain and suffering and loneliness.
I think to some degree we all have had the experience of needing to hide parts of ourselves.
Even in the relationships where ideally it would be safe to be ourselves.
So the question I ask myself now in relationship is,
does this feel like a space where I feel fully expressed?
Does this feel like a space where it's safe to explore the depths of vulnerability?
Am I surrounding myself with the kind of humans who have the capacity to see me in my truth?
And when the answer is no, I know a change needs to be made and those changes can be really difficult.
So my invitation for you this week is to notice the spaces, notice the people, notice the circumstances where you can let down your guard and take off the mask.
Notice the places where you don't feel a need to perform.
And create more space for those relationships.
Create more time for those spaces.
I encourage you to find ways to limit your time in spaces where you don't feel you can be yourself.
And if you have difficulty thinking of spaces where it does feel safe to feel vulnerable,
perhaps there are ways that you can create safe spaces for yourself.
Create rituals around being your own loving witness to your truth.
And perhaps your full expression won't be in conversation, but maybe it's expressed through writing or art or music.
Yeah.
Let's get into our practice today.
Find a comfortable seat and just gently close the eyes.
Begin to tune into your breath, noticing your inhale, noticing your exhale.
Allowing the breath to soften any tension in the body.
And as you do a brief scan of your body from head to toe, notice the spaces that feel tense that could benefit from an intentional breath.
And as we breathe in, imagine sending that breath to the spaces that feel tight and constricted.
Take a deep breath in.
And let it go.
And notice the expansion as you exhale. Notice the spaciousness as you invite the breath in.
Inhale.
And exhale.
And just follow the breath with ease.
And be intentional, but not overly controlling.
Find comfort and a steady pace that feels good in your body.
Take a deep breath in.
And exhale.
And once again, breathe in and exhale.
And bring to mind a moment of joy, a moment of feeling content or ease.
Bring to mind an emotion that feels expansive.
Take a deep breath in.
And let it go.
And as you bring to mind this expansive emotion, see if you can feel into where that lives in the body.
And perhaps joy lives in the heart space.
Wherever that expansive feeling lives in the body, let's breathe into it.
Take a deep breath in.
And exhale.
And as you breathe in and out, imagine using the breath to create more space for the expansive feeling.
Take a deep breath in.
And let it go.
Inhale.
And exhale.
And as we close the practice, just allow yourself to bask in this moment of stillness.
Allow yourself to bask in the golden silence of this moment.
And as you continue throughout the day,
perhaps you could set an intention to carry this feeling of expansiveness with you.
Notice the spaces that you could live more joyfully, more fully, more expansively.
And we'll close the practice with one more deep breath in.
Let it go.
And when you feel ready, allow the eyes to float or open.
Thank you so much for practicing with me today.
I hope you have a great week.