1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:12,000 Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Feelings Pod. I am your host, Sabrina Amina. I am an educator and a holistic health coach. 2 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:31,000 And in this podcast, I share some delightful musings about different feelings and wrap it up with a mindfulness practice. 3 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:52,000 So thank you for listening. Thank you for joining me on this journey. Today, I want to talk about confusion as well as the antidote for a lot of emotion, especially the challenging ones. 4 00:00:52,000 --> 00:01:09,000 Curiosity. So, I've been sitting a lot with confusion lately, and here's what's coming through for me. 5 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:25,000 Confusion is actually somewhat of an exciting place for me to be, but also it can be very unsettling. 6 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:45,000 When I'm grappling with an issue or trying to make sense of something, or trying to make a decision, or choose how to move forward in a situation, 7 00:01:45,000 --> 00:02:03,000 there's a lot to consider. Sometimes there's a lot of conflicting information. Sometimes it's just not easy to pick. 8 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:15,000 And I'm certain we've all had this experience. Yeah. 9 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:37,000 Most recently, I think a lot of my struggles have been in deciding whether to stay or go, rather to continue engaging or to disengage, whether to continue putting my energy into something or walk away from it. 10 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:57,000 And this is in terms of my professional life, my personal life, it comes up in all arenas of life. 11 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:22,000 Relationships. So, confusion is, I think, the more I allow myself to be in confusion and uncertainty and not knowing, 12 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:33,000 the way that I allow myself to be with it is by giving myself permission to not have to fix it immediately. 13 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:49,000 I mean, obviously sometimes there is urgency with some situations, but in the event that there is no such urgency exists, 14 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:57,000 it's okay to kind of notice the confusion and allow it to be. 15 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:10,000 And then other times, it's actually more prudent to be decisive and make a quick decision. 16 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:20,000 But being decisive and making a quick decision is hard when you're in the midst of confusion. So, I think more often than not, when I'm confused about something, 17 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:40,000 I refrain from making any kind of choice or decision, and that leads to a feeling of being stuck or stagnant or not being able to move forward. 18 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:51,000 And there's actually some beauty in staying still and just sitting with whatever is present in this case. 19 00:04:51,000 --> 00:05:08,000 We're talking about confusion. There's some beauty in being with the confusion and allowing yourself to kind of surrender to the uncertainty. 20 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:14,000 I really think there's beauty in that. 21 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:21,000 And it's hard because being confused and uncertain can be super uncomfortable. 22 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:49,000 We're creatures who love control and love to future cast and control outcomes, and that's not how this human existence works. 23 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:55,000 I mean, one could argue that this human existence is nothing but uncertainty. 24 00:05:55,000 --> 00:06:19,000 And we just kind of create the illusion of things that we think are consistent or permanent or fixed. 25 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:37,000 And in reality, nothing in this plane of existence is really fixed except the reality of constant change. 26 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:41,000 Yeah. 27 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:47,000 Who else is feeling confused? Anybody else? 28 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:53,000 Also helpful to remind myself repeatedly that I am not alone in my confusion. 29 00:06:53,000 --> 00:07:01,000 I know I'm not the only one experiencing this right now, so that always gives me comfort. 30 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:07,000 Thank you, Kristin Neff, for your teachings on self-compassion. 31 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,000 Yeah. 32 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:26,000 So, I think confusion has been coming up a lot for me lately because I am in a season of transition and change. 33 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:41,000 So, I just have to find some degree of comfort and acceptance with confusion, especially when there's no clear answer. 34 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:57,000 And that's where my mindfulness practice comes in, that's where my ability to kind of tune in to where the emotion sits in the body. 35 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:25,000 Sometimes, I wouldn't necessarily say, I'm not so sure that confusion is an emotion, but it brings up a lot of emotions like stress, discomfort, anxiety, frustration, 36 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:32,000 even maybe anger, sadness. 37 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:43,000 But also, yeah, for me, like I mentioned earlier, there's a little bit of excitement about the confusion if you're able to cultivate some degree of comfort with it. 38 00:08:43,000 --> 00:09:08,000 And that's what I'm about. I'm about being able to find some degree of acceptance with whatever, of whatever emotional experience that's coming up. 39 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:28,000 And in accepting the discomfort or the challenge or whatever is present, in that acceptance, I think we have greater access to ease. 40 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:40,000 Is it possible for us to experience these challenging emotions and mental states with more ease? 41 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:47,000 Is it possible to be with confusion with more ease? 42 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:59,000 Is it possible to be with sadness or depression or rejection with more ease? 43 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:22,000 In this moment, that, yes, that is possible. Like, if we're able to see the confusion and make space for it, allow for it, get curious about it, 44 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:32,000 then it makes the experience of confusion more expansive than constricting. 45 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:47,000 And the way I lean into curiosity with emotions is by asking myself, okay, what is this emotion communicating to me? 46 00:10:47,000 --> 00:11:01,000 Where does this emotion live in my body? And what can I learn from this? 47 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:18,000 Yeah, those questions without fail really help me tremendously with the most difficult emotions. 48 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:38,000 I'm also really happy and excited to report that like, the spring equinoxes upon us this weekend, I mean this episode will be published after that, but yes, spring is arriving. 49 00:11:38,000 --> 00:12:05,000 And the reason I've chosen confusion today, other than the fact that I'm sitting with confusion, is that it feels more of like an in-between kind of emotion as we transition out of the dark winter and welcome spring. 50 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:12,000 So yeah, confusion just felt right in this moment. 51 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:34,000 Yeah, so let's get into our mindfulness practice today. If you're listening and not able to pause for a meditation, feel free to come back to this episode at a later time. 52 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:47,000 And if you do have a little time and space, get comfy, find a position that feels easeful. 53 00:12:47,000 --> 00:13:12,000 You can sit upright, maybe have some support for your back, maybe sit on a cushion, just like allow yourself to ease into a position that feels easeful and supported. 54 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:20,000 Perhaps you wish to lay down, and that's great too. 55 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:28,000 Once you've settled into your position, start tuning into the breath. 56 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:40,000 Just notice the quality of the breath in this moment. It might feel nice to close the eyes. 57 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:49,000 Just notice what's present in your body and being in this moment. 58 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:54,000 What emotions are present for you in this moment. 59 00:13:54,000 --> 00:14:01,000 Let's take a deep breath in to the belly. 60 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:10,000 And exhale a full exhale. 61 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:17,000 Take another deep breath in to the belly. 62 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:22,000 And let it go. 63 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:29,000 And one more time, take a deep breath in. 64 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:40,000 And exhale. 65 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:47,000 As you're settling into the breath in the body, 66 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:56,000 once again, observe what emotions are most prominent for you in this moment. 67 00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:04,000 And see if that emotion lives somewhere in the body. 68 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:14,000 Is there a physical sensation associated with the emotion you're experiencing in this moment? 69 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:21,000 And if there is, breathe into that space. 70 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,000 Take a deep breath in. 71 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,000 Let it go. 72 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:34,000 Just notice the quality of the physical experience of the emotion. 73 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:48,000 Does it feel expansive or constrictive, constricting? 74 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:55,000 Does it have a heaviness to it or a lightness to it? 75 00:15:55,000 --> 00:16:05,000 And is it changing or shifting in any way as you bring your attention to it? 76 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:10,000 And if the emotion is sitting in a particular place in the body, 77 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:20,000 I invite you to gently rest a hand on that space and breathe into it. 78 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:29,000 And let it go. 79 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:42,000 Notice if any thoughts are coming up as a result or in response to feeling this emotion. 80 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:49,000 And if there are thoughts present, if your mind wants to tell a story about this emotion, 81 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:56,000 acknowledge that and let it go as you come back to the breath. 82 00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:00,000 Inhale once again. 83 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:08,000 And exhale. 84 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:25,000 Notice if there are any shifts in your felt experience of the emotion as you breathe in and out. 85 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:33,000 And allow the hand to rest. 86 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:41,000 And we'll end our mindfulness practice with a brief body scan, starting at the very top of the head. 87 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:53,000 And just imagining this waterfall cascading over the eyebrows and the eyelids. 88 00:17:53,000 --> 00:18:02,000 Imagine that feeling over the nose and cheeks, 89 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:18,000 allowing all expression to leave the face as you relax all of the muscles in your face and your jaw. 90 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:25,000 Soften the muscles around the eyes and the eye sockets. 91 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,000 Take a deep breath in. 92 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000 Let it go. 93 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:42,000 Imagining that waterfall continuing to flow over the shoulders, the neck and the chest, 94 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:57,000 the upper arms, shoulders, elbows, forearms and your hands. 95 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:14,000 Imagine that cascading waterfall over your hips and your legs, your knees, your shins, 96 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:20,000 the tops of your feet and the bottoms of your feet. 97 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:25,000 Take a deep breath in, drawing it up from the bottom of your feet 98 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:31,000 all the way up to the crown of your head. 99 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:44,000 And let it go with a sigh. 100 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:53,000 And rub the hands together, rest them over your heart space, 101 00:19:53,000 --> 00:20:07,000 and allow yourself one final check-in to notice if the emotion that you started with has shifted in any way. 102 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:17,000 If there are other emotions present now, just notice. 103 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:28,000 Allow yourself to sit in this sweet silence for a few moments. 104 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,000 Take a deep breath in. 105 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,000 Let it go. 106 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:45,000 And when you're ready, allow the eyes to flutter open as you come back to the room. 107 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:50,000 Thank you so much for listening and practicing with me today. 108 00:20:50,000 --> 00:21:19,000 I hope you have a wonderful day.