Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Feelings Pod. I am your host, Sabrina Amina. I am an educator and a holistic health coach.
And in this podcast, I share some delightful musings about different feelings and wrap it up with a mindfulness practice.
So thank you for listening. Thank you for joining me on this journey. Today, I want to talk about confusion as well as the antidote for a lot of emotion, especially the challenging ones.
Curiosity. So, I've been sitting a lot with confusion lately, and here's what's coming through for me.
Confusion is actually somewhat of an exciting place for me to be, but also it can be very unsettling.
When I'm grappling with an issue or trying to make sense of something, or trying to make a decision, or choose how to move forward in a situation,
there's a lot to consider. Sometimes there's a lot of conflicting information. Sometimes it's just not easy to pick.
And I'm certain we've all had this experience. Yeah.
Most recently, I think a lot of my struggles have been in deciding whether to stay or go, rather to continue engaging or to disengage, whether to continue putting my energy into something or walk away from it.
And this is in terms of my professional life, my personal life, it comes up in all arenas of life.
Relationships. So, confusion is, I think, the more I allow myself to be in confusion and uncertainty and not knowing,
the way that I allow myself to be with it is by giving myself permission to not have to fix it immediately.
I mean, obviously sometimes there is urgency with some situations, but in the event that there is no such urgency exists,
it's okay to kind of notice the confusion and allow it to be.
And then other times, it's actually more prudent to be decisive and make a quick decision.
But being decisive and making a quick decision is hard when you're in the midst of confusion. So, I think more often than not, when I'm confused about something,
I refrain from making any kind of choice or decision, and that leads to a feeling of being stuck or stagnant or not being able to move forward.
And there's actually some beauty in staying still and just sitting with whatever is present in this case.
We're talking about confusion. There's some beauty in being with the confusion and allowing yourself to kind of surrender to the uncertainty.
I really think there's beauty in that.
And it's hard because being confused and uncertain can be super uncomfortable.
We're creatures who love control and love to future cast and control outcomes, and that's not how this human existence works.
I mean, one could argue that this human existence is nothing but uncertainty.
And we just kind of create the illusion of things that we think are consistent or permanent or fixed.
And in reality, nothing in this plane of existence is really fixed except the reality of constant change.
Yeah.
Who else is feeling confused? Anybody else?
Also helpful to remind myself repeatedly that I am not alone in my confusion.
I know I'm not the only one experiencing this right now, so that always gives me comfort.
Thank you, Kristin Neff, for your teachings on self-compassion.
Yeah.
So, I think confusion has been coming up a lot for me lately because I am in a season of transition and change.
So, I just have to find some degree of comfort and acceptance with confusion, especially when there's no clear answer.
And that's where my mindfulness practice comes in, that's where my ability to kind of tune in to where the emotion sits in the body.
Sometimes, I wouldn't necessarily say, I'm not so sure that confusion is an emotion, but it brings up a lot of emotions like stress, discomfort, anxiety, frustration,
even maybe anger, sadness.
But also, yeah, for me, like I mentioned earlier, there's a little bit of excitement about the confusion if you're able to cultivate some degree of comfort with it.
And that's what I'm about. I'm about being able to find some degree of acceptance with whatever, of whatever emotional experience that's coming up.
And in accepting the discomfort or the challenge or whatever is present, in that acceptance, I think we have greater access to ease.
Is it possible for us to experience these challenging emotions and mental states with more ease?
Is it possible to be with confusion with more ease?
Is it possible to be with sadness or depression or rejection with more ease?
In this moment, that, yes, that is possible. Like, if we're able to see the confusion and make space for it, allow for it, get curious about it,
then it makes the experience of confusion more expansive than constricting.
And the way I lean into curiosity with emotions is by asking myself, okay, what is this emotion communicating to me?
Where does this emotion live in my body? And what can I learn from this?
Yeah, those questions without fail really help me tremendously with the most difficult emotions.
I'm also really happy and excited to report that like, the spring equinoxes upon us this weekend, I mean this episode will be published after that, but yes, spring is arriving.
And the reason I've chosen confusion today, other than the fact that I'm sitting with confusion, is that it feels more of like an in-between kind of emotion as we transition out of the dark winter and welcome spring.
So yeah, confusion just felt right in this moment.
Yeah, so let's get into our mindfulness practice today. If you're listening and not able to pause for a meditation, feel free to come back to this episode at a later time.
And if you do have a little time and space, get comfy, find a position that feels easeful.
You can sit upright, maybe have some support for your back, maybe sit on a cushion, just like allow yourself to ease into a position that feels easeful and supported.
Perhaps you wish to lay down, and that's great too.
Once you've settled into your position, start tuning into the breath.
Just notice the quality of the breath in this moment. It might feel nice to close the eyes.
Just notice what's present in your body and being in this moment.
What emotions are present for you in this moment.
Let's take a deep breath in to the belly.
And exhale a full exhale.
Take another deep breath in to the belly.
And let it go.
And one more time, take a deep breath in.
And exhale.
As you're settling into the breath in the body,
once again, observe what emotions are most prominent for you in this moment.
And see if that emotion lives somewhere in the body.
Is there a physical sensation associated with the emotion you're experiencing in this moment?
And if there is, breathe into that space.
Take a deep breath in.
Let it go.
Just notice the quality of the physical experience of the emotion.
Does it feel expansive or constrictive, constricting?
Does it have a heaviness to it or a lightness to it?
And is it changing or shifting in any way as you bring your attention to it?
And if the emotion is sitting in a particular place in the body,
I invite you to gently rest a hand on that space and breathe into it.
And let it go.
Notice if any thoughts are coming up as a result or in response to feeling this emotion.
And if there are thoughts present, if your mind wants to tell a story about this emotion,
acknowledge that and let it go as you come back to the breath.
Inhale once again.
And exhale.
Notice if there are any shifts in your felt experience of the emotion as you breathe in and out.
And allow the hand to rest.
And we'll end our mindfulness practice with a brief body scan, starting at the very top of the head.
And just imagining this waterfall cascading over the eyebrows and the eyelids.
Imagine that feeling over the nose and cheeks,
allowing all expression to leave the face as you relax all of the muscles in your face and your jaw.
Soften the muscles around the eyes and the eye sockets.
Take a deep breath in.
Let it go.
Imagining that waterfall continuing to flow over the shoulders, the neck and the chest,
the upper arms, shoulders, elbows, forearms and your hands.
Imagine that cascading waterfall over your hips and your legs, your knees, your shins,
the tops of your feet and the bottoms of your feet.
Take a deep breath in, drawing it up from the bottom of your feet
all the way up to the crown of your head.
And let it go with a sigh.
And rub the hands together, rest them over your heart space,
and allow yourself one final check-in to notice if the emotion that you started with has shifted in any way.
If there are other emotions present now, just notice.
Allow yourself to sit in this sweet silence for a few moments.
Take a deep breath in.
Let it go.
And when you're ready, allow the eyes to flutter open as you come back to the room.
Thank you so much for listening and practicing with me today.
I hope you have a wonderful day.