1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,800 Hello, hello, welcome to the Feelings Pod. 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,160 My name is Sabrina Amina. 3 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,880 I'm your host. 4 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:13,680 I'm an educator and holistic health coach. 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:27,800 And this podcast is for exploring emotions as they come up and sharing a bit about mindfulness. 6 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:32,320 Thanks for listening. 7 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:36,240 Today's topic is on depression. 8 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:49,960 And I've mentioned this in previous episodes, but it bears repeating that as we move through 9 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:59,720 the seasons, I will be exploring emotions that feel like they are more prominent during 10 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:00,720 different seasons. 11 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:11,320 Of course, all of these emotions can occur any time of year during any season. 12 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:23,120 I use a lot of my own personal experience to speak about different emotions. 13 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:33,720 Winter is certainly a season where a lot more of the heavier emotions can be challenging. 14 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:49,440 With less sunlight and cold weather being more indoors and perhaps isolated from other humans, 15 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:56,960 it can be helpful to know that we're not alone in the experiences of these difficult 16 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,800 emotions. 17 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:08,760 The reason I want to talk about depression is because it just seems so pervasive these 18 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:18,120 days, I have certainly had my own struggle with depression and navigated different ways 19 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:27,120 of feeling better when I've been depressed or when I've felt depressed. 20 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:36,640 I will also mention that I like to make a distinction between saying I am depressed and I am feeling 21 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:44,800 depressed or I am sad or I am feeling sad. 22 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:56,880 I think it's a really important distinction because when you say I am sad, it's more like 23 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:09,600 you're identifying with sadness and maybe calling yourself a sad person. 24 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:20,280 I find it really helpful to not overly identify with any one experience of emotion. 25 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:30,680 It's really helpful to say that I'm experiencing a certain emotion. 26 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:35,960 It helps me remember that emotions are not fixed. 27 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:47,160 They are not my identity just because I'm feeling sadness doesn't mean I have this identity 28 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,560 as a sad person. 29 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:56,360 That is something I struggle with from time to time. 30 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:07,720 I am a big advocate for therapy in its many forms and for quite a long time with my therapist 31 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:16,080 I would go into sessions and feel so frustrated with myself and say things like, I'm so tired 32 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:20,320 of being the sad girl. 33 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:27,240 I went through this time where I really over identified with my feelings of sadness and 34 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:42,880 having that frustration didn't allow me to really make kind and gentle space for my sadness. 35 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:47,680 I was resisting it and sometimes I still do. 36 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:54,880 It's not, this is always an ongoing process. 37 00:04:54,880 --> 00:05:05,720 But hopefully I like to think that I've gotten better over the years with being with sadness, 38 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:17,320 depression, difficult emotions without making others responsible for it without blaming 39 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:20,800 others or myself for it. 40 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:32,440 Emotions are like a natural phenomenon that occurs in this human experience and some of 41 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:39,640 the work that I've done in learning about self compassion in my mindfulness practice 42 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:52,920 and also studying the work of Kristin Neff who's done prolific research on self compassion 43 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:57,200 and mindful self compassion. 44 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:05,040 That work and her books have really helped me tremendously with being with difficult 45 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:15,000 emotions and moving away from overly identifying with them. 46 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:21,520 One of the important steps in a mindful self compassion practice is acknowledging and 47 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:30,320 recognizing that you're not alone in this experience. 48 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:39,280 I find it comforting and when we're in a difficult space emotionally we tend to feel 49 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:41,140 more isolated. 50 00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:55,240 We tend to feel like we're all alone in our suffering and you know, I don't know about 51 00:06:55,240 --> 00:07:03,240 you but I definitely find comfort in the idea that, especially when I'm able to consciously 52 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:14,260 remind myself that it's okay, everyone goes through this sometimes. 53 00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:24,180 So certainly my mindfulness practice has helped my study and just learning about self compassion 54 00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:28,980 has been really helpful. 55 00:07:28,980 --> 00:07:35,900 If you're interested in learning more about mindful self compassion, check out Kristin 56 00:07:35,900 --> 00:07:38,940 Neff's books. 57 00:07:38,940 --> 00:07:46,820 She has the first book I read of her that's called self compassion and the second one, 58 00:07:46,820 --> 00:07:53,540 her more recent publication is called Fear Self Compassion which is really fascinating. 59 00:07:53,540 --> 00:08:05,060 It explores the gentle side of self compassion but also the fierce side of it which is the 60 00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:22,420 protective part of ourselves that is really necessary and sometimes in moments of struggle. 61 00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:32,980 Yeah and of course I don't know that we can talk about depression without kind of talking 62 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:49,700 about the way that depression is treated and you know, exploring how oftentimes we lean 63 00:08:49,700 --> 00:09:00,540 on either self medicating or prescription medications to feel better. 64 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:10,260 Now in the past I've had like not such fantastic experiences with medications. 65 00:09:10,260 --> 00:09:21,180 I tried it, I tried several in the span of a very short time about four months. 66 00:09:21,180 --> 00:09:25,140 This was during COVID or actually just before COVID. 67 00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:36,180 I was going through a very difficult situation in my work and in my personal life and I needed 68 00:09:36,180 --> 00:09:37,180 some help. 69 00:09:37,180 --> 00:09:49,260 So my therapist referred me to a psychiatrist who prescribed a cocktail of I think at one 70 00:09:49,260 --> 00:10:04,460 point four different anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications and it was just so, it was confusing 71 00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:11,180 because I would take something that would cause a symptom and then I would be told to 72 00:10:11,180 --> 00:10:20,420 take an additional something to counteract the initial drug that I was taking and then 73 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:29,140 eventually I just got frustrated and during that time I gained about 30 pounds and all 74 00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:33,380 I wanted to do was just sleep. 75 00:10:33,380 --> 00:10:45,420 This certainly was not helpful but I do recognize that medications can be really powerful and 76 00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:53,060 of course life saving for some folks. 77 00:10:53,060 --> 00:11:07,180 I've recently decided to give medication a try again and yeah so we'll see how it goes. 78 00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:21,420 I was very reluctant to do that because I had such a poor experience previously but 79 00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:31,980 after talking to some folks I trust and medical professionals and I decided yeah it can be 80 00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:40,780 helpful to have some help in difficult moments. 81 00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:47,700 And that help can look different for different people and I think it's really important for 82 00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:59,060 us not to close ourselves off to exploring different solutions. 83 00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:13,500 There was certainly a fear for me that came from a previous experience but yeah. 84 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:19,860 I think as we navigate and as we go through life and different phases of life and different 85 00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:34,140 episodes of our experiences it helps to have an open mind and to approach each time of 86 00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:45,500 our life with curiosity. 87 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:53,300 So I'll just leave you with this if you've ever struggled with sadness, depression, no 88 00:12:53,300 --> 00:13:06,740 you're not alone, know that there's help available to you and sometimes it takes a 89 00:13:06,740 --> 00:13:20,820 little bit of time but there are certainly ways to alleviate suffering. 90 00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:28,860 So let's get into a short practice today. 91 00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:32,380 Find a comfortable seat. 92 00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:43,740 You can also lie down and just allow the eyes to close. 93 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:54,420 Start noticing the breath and as you notice your breath allow it to become a little bit 94 00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:57,540 deeper. 95 00:13:57,540 --> 00:14:00,180 Notice your inhale. 96 00:14:00,180 --> 00:14:08,900 Allow it to fill the belly and the lungs. 97 00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:14,060 And when you're ready release the breath. 98 00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:28,020 Find a rhythm of breathing that feels most comfortable for you. 99 00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:39,260 And as you continue to follow the breath, we'll settle into a body scan starting at the very 100 00:14:39,260 --> 00:14:53,900 top of the head and just noticing bringing your attention and awareness to the forehead. 101 00:14:53,900 --> 00:15:07,660 Just imagine standing under a waterfall letting the water cascade over you. 102 00:15:07,660 --> 00:15:24,780 And as the water flows, imagine it carries away, anything that you no longer wish to carry. 103 00:15:24,780 --> 00:15:38,780 And just allow the muscles in the face to relax, let go of any expression on the face. 104 00:15:38,780 --> 00:15:50,020 Take a deep breath in, let it go. 105 00:15:50,020 --> 00:16:06,260 Notice the neck and the throat bringing your attention to the shoulders, the heart space. 106 00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:19,300 You can gently place the hands over the heart and breathe. 107 00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:34,900 Notice your heartbeat and take a deep breath in and let it go. 108 00:16:34,900 --> 00:16:42,500 Bring a gentle awareness to the belly and allow the hands to rest there as you breathe 109 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:53,380 in and out. 110 00:16:53,380 --> 00:17:02,780 Bring your attention to the hips, your sit bones. 111 00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:10,300 Notice the spaces where your body makes contact with the support beneath you. 112 00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:20,940 Whether it's the floor or cushion on your bed. 113 00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:27,340 Notice the weight of gravity holding you in place. 114 00:17:27,340 --> 00:17:38,740 Take a deep breath in and let it go. 115 00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:47,020 Bring your attention to your thighs. 116 00:17:47,020 --> 00:18:06,500 Bring a gentle awareness towards the knees, your calves, your shins. 117 00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:11,860 Notice the ankles. 118 00:18:11,860 --> 00:18:18,940 Notice the tops of your feet, the bottoms of your feet. 119 00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:23,460 And wiggle the toes. 120 00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:30,180 For our next breath, imagine drawing the inhale from the bottoms of your feet and bringing 121 00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:34,460 the breath all the way up to the top of the crown of your head. 122 00:18:34,460 --> 00:18:54,380 Take a deep breath in and release the breath. 123 00:18:54,380 --> 00:19:00,140 And if your eyes are closed, feel free to keep them closed. 124 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:03,660 Just rest here. 125 00:19:03,660 --> 00:19:11,300 Lower if you feel ready, gently let the eyes flutter open. 126 00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:20,300 And look at the space you're in with new eyes, new perspective. 127 00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:22,700 Thank you so much for practicing with me today. 128 00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:34,540 Have a beautiful day.