Hello, hello, welcome to the Feelings Pod.
My name is Sabrina Amina.
I'm your host.
I'm an educator and holistic health coach.
And this podcast is for exploring emotions as they come up and sharing a bit about mindfulness.
Thanks for listening.
Today's topic is on depression.
And I've mentioned this in previous episodes, but it bears repeating that as we move through
the seasons, I will be exploring emotions that feel like they are more prominent during
different seasons.
Of course, all of these emotions can occur any time of year during any season.
I use a lot of my own personal experience to speak about different emotions.
Winter is certainly a season where a lot more of the heavier emotions can be challenging.
With less sunlight and cold weather being more indoors and perhaps isolated from other humans,
it can be helpful to know that we're not alone in the experiences of these difficult
emotions.
The reason I want to talk about depression is because it just seems so pervasive these
days, I have certainly had my own struggle with depression and navigated different ways
of feeling better when I've been depressed or when I've felt depressed.
I will also mention that I like to make a distinction between saying I am depressed and I am feeling
depressed or I am sad or I am feeling sad.
I think it's a really important distinction because when you say I am sad, it's more like
you're identifying with sadness and maybe calling yourself a sad person.
I find it really helpful to not overly identify with any one experience of emotion.
It's really helpful to say that I'm experiencing a certain emotion.
It helps me remember that emotions are not fixed.
They are not my identity just because I'm feeling sadness doesn't mean I have this identity
as a sad person.
That is something I struggle with from time to time.
I am a big advocate for therapy in its many forms and for quite a long time with my therapist
I would go into sessions and feel so frustrated with myself and say things like, I'm so tired
of being the sad girl.
I went through this time where I really over identified with my feelings of sadness and
having that frustration didn't allow me to really make kind and gentle space for my sadness.
I was resisting it and sometimes I still do.
It's not, this is always an ongoing process.
But hopefully I like to think that I've gotten better over the years with being with sadness,
depression, difficult emotions without making others responsible for it without blaming
others or myself for it.
Emotions are like a natural phenomenon that occurs in this human experience and some of
the work that I've done in learning about self compassion in my mindfulness practice
and also studying the work of Kristin Neff who's done prolific research on self compassion
and mindful self compassion.
That work and her books have really helped me tremendously with being with difficult
emotions and moving away from overly identifying with them.
One of the important steps in a mindful self compassion practice is acknowledging and
recognizing that you're not alone in this experience.
I find it comforting and when we're in a difficult space emotionally we tend to feel
more isolated.
We tend to feel like we're all alone in our suffering and you know, I don't know about
you but I definitely find comfort in the idea that, especially when I'm able to consciously
remind myself that it's okay, everyone goes through this sometimes.
So certainly my mindfulness practice has helped my study and just learning about self compassion
has been really helpful.
If you're interested in learning more about mindful self compassion, check out Kristin
Neff's books.
She has the first book I read of her that's called self compassion and the second one,
her more recent publication is called Fear Self Compassion which is really fascinating.
It explores the gentle side of self compassion but also the fierce side of it which is the
protective part of ourselves that is really necessary and sometimes in moments of struggle.
Yeah and of course I don't know that we can talk about depression without kind of talking
about the way that depression is treated and you know, exploring how oftentimes we lean
on either self medicating or prescription medications to feel better.
Now in the past I've had like not such fantastic experiences with medications.
I tried it, I tried several in the span of a very short time about four months.
This was during COVID or actually just before COVID.
I was going through a very difficult situation in my work and in my personal life and I needed
some help.
So my therapist referred me to a psychiatrist who prescribed a cocktail of I think at one
point four different anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications and it was just so, it was confusing
because I would take something that would cause a symptom and then I would be told to
take an additional something to counteract the initial drug that I was taking and then
eventually I just got frustrated and during that time I gained about 30 pounds and all
I wanted to do was just sleep.
This certainly was not helpful but I do recognize that medications can be really powerful and
of course life saving for some folks.
I've recently decided to give medication a try again and yeah so we'll see how it goes.
I was very reluctant to do that because I had such a poor experience previously but
after talking to some folks I trust and medical professionals and I decided yeah it can be
helpful to have some help in difficult moments.
And that help can look different for different people and I think it's really important for
us not to close ourselves off to exploring different solutions.
There was certainly a fear for me that came from a previous experience but yeah.
I think as we navigate and as we go through life and different phases of life and different
episodes of our experiences it helps to have an open mind and to approach each time of
our life with curiosity.
So I'll just leave you with this if you've ever struggled with sadness, depression, no
you're not alone, know that there's help available to you and sometimes it takes a
little bit of time but there are certainly ways to alleviate suffering.
So let's get into a short practice today.
Find a comfortable seat.
You can also lie down and just allow the eyes to close.
Start noticing the breath and as you notice your breath allow it to become a little bit
deeper.
Notice your inhale.
Allow it to fill the belly and the lungs.
And when you're ready release the breath.
Find a rhythm of breathing that feels most comfortable for you.
And as you continue to follow the breath, we'll settle into a body scan starting at the very
top of the head and just noticing bringing your attention and awareness to the forehead.
Just imagine standing under a waterfall letting the water cascade over you.
And as the water flows, imagine it carries away, anything that you no longer wish to carry.
And just allow the muscles in the face to relax, let go of any expression on the face.
Take a deep breath in, let it go.
Notice the neck and the throat bringing your attention to the shoulders, the heart space.
You can gently place the hands over the heart and breathe.
Notice your heartbeat and take a deep breath in and let it go.
Bring a gentle awareness to the belly and allow the hands to rest there as you breathe
in and out.
Bring your attention to the hips, your sit bones.
Notice the spaces where your body makes contact with the support beneath you.
Whether it's the floor or cushion on your bed.
Notice the weight of gravity holding you in place.
Take a deep breath in and let it go.
Bring your attention to your thighs.
Bring a gentle awareness towards the knees, your calves, your shins.
Notice the ankles.
Notice the tops of your feet, the bottoms of your feet.
And wiggle the toes.
For our next breath, imagine drawing the inhale from the bottoms of your feet and bringing
the breath all the way up to the top of the crown of your head.
Take a deep breath in and release the breath.
And if your eyes are closed, feel free to keep them closed.
Just rest here.
Lower if you feel ready, gently let the eyes flutter open.
And look at the space you're in with new eyes, new perspective.
Thank you so much for practicing with me today.
Have a beautiful day.