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Hello and welcome to the Feelings Pod. My name is Sabrina Amina. I am your host.

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Today's topic is grief. Now you might be wondering, why does she only talk about

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the sad, heavy feelings? So I am focusing on a theme for every season. So right now

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in the winter months, the focus is just kind of the heavier feelings, the more challenging

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feelings that come up in the darkness of the winter months and all other times of the year.

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So yeah, today's topic on grief came up because I attended a funeral today

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and here are my thoughts on grief. It's easier when it's shared. It's easier when we recognize

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that we're not alone in our suffering and it becomes easier and a bit lighter to carry when

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we're in community and in the moments when you feel completely and utterly alone with feelings of

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grief or whatever difficult emotion that's coming up for you.

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A practice I learned from Kristin Neff on self-compassion is remembering that you're not

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alone in this experience. Several years ago, I took a yoga teacher training with Breathe for Change

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and it was my first deep dive into yoga. I'd practiced yoga for years and I remember reading

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about how yoga is about oneness and this idea of oneness seemed a little bit inaccessible to me

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at the time and over the years, I feel like I've come to a better understanding of that oneness

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because I feel less alone when I remember that my experience is not singular. I'm not the only

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human experiencing sadness, grief, loneliness, rage, anger and when I'm in the experience of any of

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these emotions, being seen by someone, being witnessed by someone who can just offer a safe space

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and allow me to be with whatever is existing, is comforting

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and it reminds me of that oneness that exists.

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Our humanity is, we all have different stories of the same human experiences.

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We all experience grief and pain and suffering and sorrow. We experience elation and joy, euphoria

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and everything in between. I don't know about you but that definitely brings me a bit of comfort

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and the funeral I attended today was a dear friend of mine lost her mother

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and it's interesting what death brings up in us. It either reminds us of our own immortality

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or it's once again bringing us to oneness and remembering that we're all moving towards

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the same end and as dark as that sounds it does bring me comfort in that

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this human experience is the same in so many ways for all of us and yes they're all different stories.

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We experience it in different ways but we're not alone in those experiences and when we can be with

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what is within ourselves we can be with what is in others.

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You may have had the experience of being with someone

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I'm feeling sad and maybe wanting to cry but not wanting to make the other person uncomfortable

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and it's funny I've always felt like I have to show up as a bright and cheery smiley person.

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I come off as very cheerful and you know I believe it or not despite the topic of these

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episodes I'm you know pretty bright and cheery. I'm not used to be my default it used to be like

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this is how I present myself to the world and then I realized I was creating a barrier.

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Last weekend I was having dinner with a dear friend and I was carrying sadness and I felt the need

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to mask it I felt the need to hide it because I didn't I felt I didn't want to put it on her

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but as soon as I said it as soon as I named it as soon as I

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you know admitted to my experience and said you know I'm I'm feeling actually really sad right now

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first of all a weight was lifted and also that wall came down. I felt like I was connecting

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more deeply with my friend who also expressed gratitude for me just being real with her.

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She was just happy that I was willing to confide in her

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and so that was just another kind of example of that of that oneness like oh I see you in your

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sadness this is familiar to me I've been there too I can witness you in your sadness.

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So the more that we allow ourselves to be with ourselves in our grief and our sorrow and whatever

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is coming up we can make space for it for the people that we love and care about or even people

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that we don't know at all

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and I've certainly had the tendency I still do I have a tendency to want to run away and it's not

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a conscious decision right like when discomfort comes up you you don't you don't really want to

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face it you just kind of want to feel good but sitting with what is coming up is the most

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effective way to allow it to kind of make its you know just move move through you right make

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make its transition from sitting in your body to kind of release

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and to me that's a little bit of what grief is is it's about release it's about

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having to let go even when you don't want to and when we grip something so tightly

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it's out of fear you know it's out of fear of losing something and

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you know in a capitalist society we are kind of conditioned to collect things and capital and hold

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on to things but there's so much power and freedom in letting go it's not easy it is certainly not

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easy but um grief is certainly a lesson in letting go

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that has certainly been a big lesson for me over the past year

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and so if you're sitting with grief this is your reminder that you're not alone

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and you have the capacity to witness it even if it's just a little bit

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but even if that witnessing just means acknowledging yeah I'm grieving and that's gonna look

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different in everybody

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so let's get into our practice for today find a comfortable seat or even lie down

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it might feel good to to feel held and supported by something beneath you maybe a pillow under your head

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maybe a pillow under the knees and as you're lying on your back

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and I invite you to close your eyes and just start tuning into your breath

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noticing your inhale and the exhale

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and as you're just lying in stillness I'm going to share something called a box breath

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you may or may not be familiar with it but it's a really simple breath for

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settling the nervous system

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and I'll describe it before guiding you through it you'll start with a deep inhale

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and at the very top of the inhale as the moment where you've inhaled as much as you can

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you pause you hold the breath briefly

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and then you exhale you exhale fully and release the breath and at the bottom of the breath when

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you've released all the um when you've completed your exhale you pause again before taking another

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deep breath in so go ahead take a deep breath in pause at the top and exhale

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take a pause take a deep breath in

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pause at the top let it go

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take a pause

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inhale

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pause and exhale

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inhale

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pause take a deep breath in

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pause let it go

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pause take a deep breath in

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pause and exhale

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if you like you can continue to follow this pattern as long as you choose

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and when you're ready you can allow the eyes to open

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and or keep them closed and just rest in stillness and silence

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offer yourself a bit of love and gratitude for showing up for yourself today

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you're doing great have a beautiful day