Hello and welcome to the Feelings Pod. My name is Sabrina Amina. I am your host.
Today's topic is grief. Now you might be wondering, why does she only talk about
the sad, heavy feelings? So I am focusing on a theme for every season. So right now
in the winter months, the focus is just kind of the heavier feelings, the more challenging
feelings that come up in the darkness of the winter months and all other times of the year.
So yeah, today's topic on grief came up because I attended a funeral today
and here are my thoughts on grief. It's easier when it's shared. It's easier when we recognize
that we're not alone in our suffering and it becomes easier and a bit lighter to carry when
we're in community and in the moments when you feel completely and utterly alone with feelings of
grief or whatever difficult emotion that's coming up for you.
A practice I learned from Kristin Neff on self-compassion is remembering that you're not
alone in this experience. Several years ago, I took a yoga teacher training with Breathe for Change
and it was my first deep dive into yoga. I'd practiced yoga for years and I remember reading
about how yoga is about oneness and this idea of oneness seemed a little bit inaccessible to me
at the time and over the years, I feel like I've come to a better understanding of that oneness
because I feel less alone when I remember that my experience is not singular. I'm not the only
human experiencing sadness, grief, loneliness, rage, anger and when I'm in the experience of any of
these emotions, being seen by someone, being witnessed by someone who can just offer a safe space
and allow me to be with whatever is existing, is comforting
and it reminds me of that oneness that exists.
Our humanity is, we all have different stories of the same human experiences.
We all experience grief and pain and suffering and sorrow. We experience elation and joy, euphoria
and everything in between. I don't know about you but that definitely brings me a bit of comfort
and the funeral I attended today was a dear friend of mine lost her mother
and it's interesting what death brings up in us. It either reminds us of our own immortality
or it's once again bringing us to oneness and remembering that we're all moving towards
the same end and as dark as that sounds it does bring me comfort in that
this human experience is the same in so many ways for all of us and yes they're all different stories.
We experience it in different ways but we're not alone in those experiences and when we can be with
what is within ourselves we can be with what is in others.
You may have had the experience of being with someone
I'm feeling sad and maybe wanting to cry but not wanting to make the other person uncomfortable
and it's funny I've always felt like I have to show up as a bright and cheery smiley person.
I come off as very cheerful and you know I believe it or not despite the topic of these
episodes I'm you know pretty bright and cheery. I'm not used to be my default it used to be like
this is how I present myself to the world and then I realized I was creating a barrier.
Last weekend I was having dinner with a dear friend and I was carrying sadness and I felt the need
to mask it I felt the need to hide it because I didn't I felt I didn't want to put it on her
but as soon as I said it as soon as I named it as soon as I
you know admitted to my experience and said you know I'm I'm feeling actually really sad right now
first of all a weight was lifted and also that wall came down. I felt like I was connecting
more deeply with my friend who also expressed gratitude for me just being real with her.
She was just happy that I was willing to confide in her
and so that was just another kind of example of that of that oneness like oh I see you in your
sadness this is familiar to me I've been there too I can witness you in your sadness.
So the more that we allow ourselves to be with ourselves in our grief and our sorrow and whatever
is coming up we can make space for it for the people that we love and care about or even people
that we don't know at all
and I've certainly had the tendency I still do I have a tendency to want to run away and it's not
a conscious decision right like when discomfort comes up you you don't you don't really want to
face it you just kind of want to feel good but sitting with what is coming up is the most
effective way to allow it to kind of make its you know just move move through you right make
make its transition from sitting in your body to kind of release
and to me that's a little bit of what grief is is it's about release it's about
having to let go even when you don't want to and when we grip something so tightly
it's out of fear you know it's out of fear of losing something and
you know in a capitalist society we are kind of conditioned to collect things and capital and hold
on to things but there's so much power and freedom in letting go it's not easy it is certainly not
easy but um grief is certainly a lesson in letting go
that has certainly been a big lesson for me over the past year
and so if you're sitting with grief this is your reminder that you're not alone
and you have the capacity to witness it even if it's just a little bit
but even if that witnessing just means acknowledging yeah I'm grieving and that's gonna look
different in everybody
so let's get into our practice for today find a comfortable seat or even lie down
it might feel good to to feel held and supported by something beneath you maybe a pillow under your head
maybe a pillow under the knees and as you're lying on your back
and I invite you to close your eyes and just start tuning into your breath
noticing your inhale and the exhale
and as you're just lying in stillness I'm going to share something called a box breath
you may or may not be familiar with it but it's a really simple breath for
settling the nervous system
and I'll describe it before guiding you through it you'll start with a deep inhale
and at the very top of the inhale as the moment where you've inhaled as much as you can
you pause you hold the breath briefly
and then you exhale you exhale fully and release the breath and at the bottom of the breath when
you've released all the um when you've completed your exhale you pause again before taking another
deep breath in so go ahead take a deep breath in pause at the top and exhale
take a pause take a deep breath in
pause at the top let it go
take a pause
inhale
pause and exhale
inhale
pause take a deep breath in
pause let it go
pause take a deep breath in
pause and exhale
if you like you can continue to follow this pattern as long as you choose
and when you're ready you can allow the eyes to open
and or keep them closed and just rest in stillness and silence
offer yourself a bit of love and gratitude for showing up for yourself today
you're doing great have a beautiful day