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Hello, hello, hello. This is Sabrina Mina and this is the feelings pod. I'm your

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host, I'm a holistic health coach, I'm an educator, I'm a healer, and a deep

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feeler. And on every episode I share the thoughts about emotions that are present

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for me and I talk a bit about how we can navigate those emotions with

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presence and mindfulness as best as we can. Today's episode is on grief and I've

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spoken about grief before. If you're curious to check out that episode, feel

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free to do so. Today's episode will look a little bit different because it's a new

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moment in time and we are these magical ever-evolving creatures and there's

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never a moment where you're exactly the same as you were before. Our amazing

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bodies are constantly regenerating and healing themselves and I've heard every

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seven years you're an entirely new person, an entirely new being, it's just new

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cells that have like regenerated. I mean I don't know how true all that is but

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it feels resonant to me and grieving is so many things but I think it's partially

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coming to terms with who we once were and how we got here and honoring those past

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versions of ourselves. I'm attending an event today, it's part of grief school

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and it's run by some lovely teachers and I invited a friend to come with me and

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she said to me, oh I didn't know you were grieving, I'm so sorry. And I thought

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that was a funny comment because aren't we all grieving all the time? Something or

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someone? I'd say we are but maybe not necessarily so consciously. I don't think

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we live in a very grief-friendly society, it's a society that's pretty...

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I don't know, it seems like death and grieving and the end of life, the end of

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time are maybe topics that are too big and too scary to talk about and like

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normal everyday dinner time conversation but I don't know about you but those are

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the kind of conversations I like to have. I was reflecting in my morning pages

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today and asking myself, well what am I grieving? And perhaps we tend to think of

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grieving as like the thing that we do or the thing that we should do or the thing

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that comes up when someone dies or when there's a loss of a relationship but

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really grieving is the process of acknowledging any kind of loss really.

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It's so important to grieve.

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And grief doesn't have a timeline. Something that surprises me, well I'm not

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sure that it surprises me but yeah we'll go with that. Let's say it surprises me.

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It's how grief sneaks up on me on topics that I thought I was okay about, you know?

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And things I thought I'd moved on from.

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Most recently I've been navigating like the loss of my grandmother and she died

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on May 21st, Allah at Hamha. And I don't really think I've talked about it a lot

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in too much depth because I had an interesting relationship with my

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grandmother. You know she was largely absent from my life because she lived in

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Algeria and I live here in the United States. So I feel like I'm constantly

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living in this space of missing loved ones because I don't live on my

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ancestral homeland and New Jersey has always felt strange and foreign to me.

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It's like what am I doing here and how did I get here? So I especially as my

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grandmother got older like she wasn't very accessible even by phone. So she was

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someone very much that I loved from a distance and it's so strange now that

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she's not here anymore because my experience of her is largely the same.

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It's unchanged. I think of her in a loving way. I know she's at a distance and

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it's almost as if my love for her and connection with her has deepened and

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feels a bit lighter because I think she carried a lot of grief. I think she carried

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a lot of heaviness and pain and so I'm relieved for her.

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So I send her prayers and I remember her fondly but I've done that. I've always done that.

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The last time I saw her I pretty much knew I wouldn't see her again. I felt

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like I had closure because I had this anxiety. I went to visit her over the

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summer last summer and before I went I hadn't seen her in several years and I

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was like I have to see her. I have to see her. I know she's gonna leave this earth.

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She's getting older. Her health is not the best. And my cousin got married last

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summer and it was just like the thing that prompted me to go. And I'm so grateful

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to my cousin for getting married because it gave me that opportunity to see my

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grandmother one last time to have that sense of closure that I could you know

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give her one more hug and be soft and tender with her. Well...

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I think I'm gonna talk about grief in a couple of parts because I've had enough

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for today. So let's...

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I just want to leave you with this invitation before we get into our

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practice for the day and just say that if there's space to... if you can make

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space to grieve a loss... any kind of loss... I invite you to create some kind of

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ritual or even just space for a conversation.

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For me there's something healing about saying things aloud that we carry in

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our hearts and minds. Even if it's just recording.

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So thank you for hearing me today. I invite you to find a comfortable seat

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and as always you can pause the recording and if you're not able to

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practice in this moment and come back to it at another time. Go ahead and close

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your eyes. Find an upright position or you can lie down if that feels more

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comfortable for you. Just start to connect with the breath. We'll focus on the

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heart space today. Let the eyes soften. Let the shoulders melt down the back. Feel

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held and supported by the ground beneath you or whatever surface you're on. Just

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notice where your body has contact with the floor beneath you, the seat beneath

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you, with your cushion, your bed, your chair.

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Bring attention and awareness to what's alive in the body, what parts of your

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body are speaking to you in this moment. What parts of the body have something to

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say? We'll start out with a body scan at the top of the head and imagine just a

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waterfall cascading over your entire body, starting at the top of the head,

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cascading over the forehead and your eyes, your face and it just allows all the

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expression in your face to soften. Let your jaw relax. Let your tongue soften.

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Imagine your head as light as a feather floating towards the clouds and your

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shoulders move in the opposite direction. Take a deep breath into the heart

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space. Let it go, bringing your attention and awareness to your neck and shoulders,

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your chest, your upper arms. Notice your elbows and your forearms. Notice your

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hands. Notice the palms of your hands. If it feels good, you can rub the palms of

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your hands together, create a little bit of warmth and then just place your hands

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over your heart and breathe in here. Take a deep breath in and let it go. And imagine

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that waterfall continues to cascade over your belly, over your hips, your sit bones,

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over the tops of your thighs, over your knees, your shins and your calves, the tops

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of your feet, the bottoms of your feet.

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Notice your toes. Let's take a big deep breath in. Imagine drawing that breath in

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from the very bottoms of your feet all the way up to the crown of the head and

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let it go. Enjoy this moment of stillness following your inhale and your exhale

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for as long as you wish, offering gratitude to your heart and your body.

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Thank you so much for practicing with me today. Until next time.