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Hello hello, this is Sabrina Amina and I'm the host of the Feelings Pod. This is a

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podcast where I share about feelings and emotions and how we can navigate them a

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bit more mindfully. Today's episode is about improving our inner dialogue and

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how we can create more supportive self-talk with mindful attention to our

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thoughts and emotions. There are four access points that we learn about when

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we first start practicing mindfulness and the first access point is the breath.

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Being aware of your breath in this moment brings you fully to the present

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moment. You can't take a future breath, you can't take a past breath, the only

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breath you can take is right here right now, which is such a profound meditation

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if you think about it. The second access point is the body. The body can be more

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accessible often because again the body is right here right now, it's living,

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breathing, moving and when we bring our attention to physical sensations in the

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body that are present at this moment and we become aware once again of the

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present moment. Our lives exist solely in this present moment. I can't really tend

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to a past version of my physical body, I can simply be with the body I have right

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here right now. I can tune into my five senses. Now you might be wondering what

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does this have to do with self-talk? Well often emotions come up as physical

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sensation in the body and sometimes those emotions create thoughts. Other times we

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have thoughts that come up in the mind and it's hard to say where those thoughts

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come from. Some might say it's a product of the emotions that we're feeling or

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perhaps the emotions that we're feeling are a product of the thoughts that

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we're feeling. So thoughts and emotions are the other two access points for us to

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practice mindfulness. So they're all intimately interconnected right? Like your

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breath, your body, your emotions and your thoughts. So in order for us to build the

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awareness of our thoughts we have to build our practice of being here in the

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present moment and usually the most accessible way to start for someone who's

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just beginning a mindfulness practice is simply to tune into the breath or tune

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into the body. So in today's episode we'll do some short mindfulness practices

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throughout. If this is your first time listening usually I offer a practice at

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the end of the episode. Today we're doing things a little differently. So let's

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start with tuning into the breath. If you can find a comfortable seat where you

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can safely bring your attention to your breath. If it feels good for you to close

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your eyes I invite you to do so. Otherwise you can simply place your gaze

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steadily on a point in front of you and try to soften the gaze. And in this

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moment take a deep breath in to in through your nose. Feel the belly fill and

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rise on the inhale. And once you've taken a big full deep breath go ahead and exhale.

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Just observe how that feels to take a full conscious deep inhale and exhale.

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Let's do that twice more. Take a deep breath in and this time as you're

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breathing in notice where you feel the breath in the body. Notice the lungs

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expand, notice the belly rise. And when you've taken in as much breath as you can

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pause and exhale. Notice the sensation of the breath leaving the body. Notice how

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the body moves as you exhale. And one last time take a deep breath in.

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Pause and let it go.

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I often tell my students that your breath is magic. It really is this powerful

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tool that's available to you at any time in any moment. And when we build our

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practice to the point where you can notice I'm feeling activated. I'm feeling

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something challenging right now and I'm gonna take a few deep breaths. This is a

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really empowering place to be because instead of feeling like a slave to your

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thoughts and emotions you can have a dialogue with your thoughts and emotions.

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You can embrace them more readily. You can even have a fun dance with them. You

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can be more playful in your approach just by noticing. I often like to compare our

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emotions to a small child and if you're a caretaker of any kind, an educator, a

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parent, a pet owner, a plant owner, I'd argue we're all caretakers because we're

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caretakers of our own human experience. So in whatever way that you're caretaking

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in this life, imagine whatever you're caretaking as a small child and when that

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small child has a tantrum, a caretaker who is attuned will help the child de-escalate,

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help the child settle. And how do we do that? We do it by reflecting, we do it by

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validating the experience, we do it by joining them in that moment, by being with

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them and this happens if we're well resourced, if we have the capacity to be

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with whatever we're taking care of with full presence and love and compassion.

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This is the practice and sometimes we're not fully resourced, we don't have the

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presence to attend in this way. So our mindfulness practice helps us build the

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capacity to be more fully present to our experience. So if we notice an unruly

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emotion coming up within us, we can offer it compassionate love, care, tenderness.

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And if those things don't feel entirely accessible, attention is a really powerful

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form of care. Just giving the object of our care, in this case our challenging

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emotions, just offering those emotions a bit of care and attention is a loving

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act in and of itself. So taking time to turn towards the discomfort, the pain, the

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sadness, or even the joy, elation, euphoria, this is a wonderful practice for

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any emotional experience. And not only does it have this wonderful effect of

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helping us navigate some of our more challenging human moments, but it

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also helps us really feel into and more fully expand the pleasurable moments

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that we sometimes wish we could live into forever. And guess what? We can because

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we are in this present moment forever. So as long as we're fully present in the

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here and now, we can be forever present to the joyful, loving, pleasurable

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experiences of our human at any time. And we can draw those in and recall them as

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we build our practice. So I talked about the second access point of our body. So

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just we'll do our another practice in this moment and find a comfortable seated

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position and we'll do a brief body scan. So allow your feet to rest flat on the

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floor if you're sitting on a cushion, perhaps your legs may be crossed. Let the

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shoulders relax down the back. Imagine that your head is as light as a feather

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kind of floating toward the sky. And begin to breathe. Notice the top of the head.

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Bring your attention to your forehead. Notice your eyes and their sockets.

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Notice all the muscles in your face and just allow them to relax, soften. Allow

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all expression to leave your face. Take a deep breath in and draw the awareness

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down to your throat, your jaw. Notice your neck, your shoulders.

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Scan your attention down your biceps and upper arms, down your forearms. Notice

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the hands. And here I invite you to bring the palms together and just rub them

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together gently until you feel a little bit of warmth from the friction. Once

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you've created a little bit of warmth in the palm of your hands, gently place the

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palms over the heart. Take a deep breath in here and let it out.

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Continue to bring your attention and awareness down through the belly. Bring

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the awareness to the hips and your sit bones. Notice where your body comes into

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contact with the support beneath you. Notice your thighs where they meet the

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seat. Notice the tops of your thighs. You may wish to gently place your hands here.

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Take a deep breath in and let it go.

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Notice the knees moving our awareness down our shins and calves.

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Notice the ankles, the tops of your feet, your tend toes, and the bottom of your feet.

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Notice the arches in your feet. Notice your heels.

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And take a deep breath in, drying it from the bottom of your feet all the way up

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back, all the way up to your eyes, your forehead, and the crown of your head. And

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let it go with a sigh.

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Enjoy this moment of quiet stillness and just observe the body in this moment.

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Take one more deep breath in. As you exhale, allow the eyes to flutter open,

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come back to the room. And just let's do a check in here. Let's notice how are you

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feeling in this moment? What emotions are present?

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Are there any thoughts that are present?

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Now, in demonstrating the breath and body practices, are you noticing that perhaps

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we have more presence and more access to what's coming up in our emotions or our

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thoughts? When we're in our practice, we get to notice with more wisdom what's

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coming up in our thoughts and emotions.

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Now, when we can be present to the thoughts that come up that maybe aren't so

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supportive, we get to dialogue with these thoughts. We get to question them. We get

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to choose different thoughts. Thoughts are interesting. Where do they come from?

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Sometimes thoughts are just like, are we thinking or are we being thought?

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So, with our mindfulness practice, we can think more consciously. And this really

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brings us to my greater point about having more supportive self-talk, which is really

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the way we think about ourselves. The way that we listen to our thoughts, the way

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that we engage with our thoughts, can have a really profound impact on how we

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feel about ourselves on our self-concept. And it comes up in really subtle ways

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that sometimes we don't even notice. And oftentimes it comes up in our speech.

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Sometimes I listen to the way my students speak to each other, to one

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another, or even to themselves. And they'll call themselves names like, oh, you're so

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stupid or oh, I'm such an idiot. And these are, these, this speech is, you know, a

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manifestation of our thoughts. The reason why it's so important for us to bring

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attention, conscious awareness to our thoughts is so that we can catch ourselves

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before we start speaking to ourselves in such cruel, uncaring ways. What would it

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feel like to make a mistake and instead of falling down a shame spiral, you can

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say, um, oops, I made a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes. I'm feeling a

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little bit embarrassed right now, but that's okay. And that's just, and everyone

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in this process and practice has to find language and words that resonate with

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themselves. I highly recommend Kristin Neff's work on self-compassion. Her

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teachings are about practicing mindful self-compassion and learning how to

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support yourself with kindness and tenderness, building awareness of our

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thoughts and emotions so that we can love ourselves more fully at the end of

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the day. Why do I share these practices? Because learning how to be kinder to

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myself, learning how to speak more kindly to myself has made my life better in

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all areas of my life. Like it's made me a better parent, it's made me a better

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daughter, it's made me a better teacher, it's made me a better friend, and it's

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made me a better caretaker. Not just for others, but primarily first and foremost

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for myself, because as I'm more fully resourced in my, in this home that I live

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in, in this body, in this brain, with this heart, with this breath, as I'm more

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fully resourced, as I'm able to speak to myself with more gentleness, more kindness,

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more gratitude, more love, I can show up in this way with others. This work is so

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important to me because it's life-changing work and it starts with us. We are

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living in a time where we could all use a little bit more tenderness, softness,

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care, joy, connection, and really we make space for that when we make space for

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ourselves and our own experience. So thank you so much for practicing with me

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today. Thank you so much for listening and tuning in. If you'd like to learn more

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about mindfulness, you can find me on Instagram, underscore sabrinaamena

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underscore, and I look forward to sharing with you next time. Thank you again for

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tuning in and thank you so much for the gift of your time and attention. Have a

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wonderful day.