Hello, hello.
This is Sabrina Amina with the Feelings Pod
and this is a podcast where I share a bit about
navigating our feelings, my feelings,
with mindfulness and the lessons that
we can all draw from this practice.
Today's episode is on holding our hurt feelings
and the reason I bring this up is because
lately I've been noticing if I'm avoiding something
because I'm afraid my feelings will get hurt.
So I'll give you an example.
There is this fellowship that I've been kind of mulling over
and thinking about applying for.
And there's part of me that was like,
am I qualified for this?
I don't know, should I even bother?
So all of that like basically saying no to myself
so somebody else won't say no to me
because historically the no leads to hurt feelings
that no is a rejection.
I've shared another episode on rejection,
I believe in season one.
So if you're curious to do more of a deep dive into that
with me, I invite you to check out that episode.
So I noticed this kind of pattern
and it came up a couple of times this week,
well in the last two weeks or so
because I've had some opportunities pop up on my radar
and I was like, oh, this would be great.
I would love to do this.
Tapping into that feeling of desire and excitement
and like, yeah, I would love this.
But also noticing a fear creep up about, oh,
well, what if I apply and what if I pay for the application
and what if I do all that?
What if I put in all this effort
and then they say no and then they tell me
I'm not good enough.
Now, none of these like,
so notice the story I tell myself like,
the no means I'm not good enough.
The no means I'm being rejected, right?
So attaching these kinds of meanings to a no
or not attaching this kind of meaning
to not getting what you want.
You know, imagining these outcomes
is leading to me pretty much getting in my own way.
Like when I explain this, it seems pretty clear.
Well, yeah, of course you should apply for the thing.
But I think a lot of us do this pretty often
without even noticing.
And I've been able to kind of get more
in touch with moments when I'm doing that,
when I am saying no to myself
so that somebody else won't say no to me.
And these kind of self-protective mechanisms
are actually just like kind of protecting the fragile ego.
The ego that's telling you false stories about your worth
and not because the ego is like this terrible, awful thing.
The ego is just like this scared little child
that needs care and attention,
but we don't let that part of our being run the show.
Which is why it's just so critical
to build this self-awareness and mindful,
our mindfulness practice,
especially around our thoughts and emotions.
You know, the thoughts are not always,
you know, more often than not,
a lot of times they're just kind of there.
And bringing a more conscious attention to the thoughts
allows us to engage with the thoughts.
And I think that's a really important part of our practice.
To engage with the thoughts allows us to question the thoughts
and choose a different story,
which is way more empowering than letting,
you know, the scared little ego
get in the way of opportunities
that would be amazing for us.
So I'm feeling pretty proud of myself
for, you know, getting through that block this week
because this is an opportunity
that I heard about over a month ago
and I've just kind of been,
I guess I turned away from it.
I opened up the application.
I saw a confronting question.
It was like, I don't,
that I was like, well,
maybe I don't have the right answer.
And so I stepped away from it.
And, you know, the more we practice,
the better we get at this.
And, you know, it won't take like a month
for us to apply for the thing.
And one of these, it was a fellowship for a,
for folks working in education
on social and emotional learning,
which, you know, that's right up my alley.
It's like, of course it's something
that I should apply for.
But yeah, it took me a minute to get there
and I had a conversation with a friend this morning
or yesterday, time.
And I explained to her like,
oh, there's this really great opportunity.
I've been a little bit hesitant about applying.
And then I said, but I'm gonna do it
because you know what?
I can handle my hurt feelings.
And ultimately, yes, there is always a risk
when you put yourself out there,
when you pursue a dream, when you pursue a desire,
when you pursue a wish,
when you pursue an opportunity, a relationship,
a adventure, anything.
Like, there's always a risk.
And I'm certainly more interested in living a life
of taking these calculated risks
and instead of perpetually being in this like,
protective mode to avoid hurting my own feelings.
Or avoid getting my feelings hurt.
We're already hurting our own feelings
by telling ourselves that we're not good enough
or you're not qualified enough
or you're not skilled enough
or you don't have the right answers
to put on this application.
Like, we're hurting our own feelings.
We gotta cut that out.
It's just getting in the way of our greatness.
So just remember the next time something comes along
that excites you and you wanna pursue steps
to making it happen,
be aware that, yeah, it might not work out
the way that you planned or the way that you want,
but also I'm fully capable of handling the disappointment,
any of the challenging feelings that come up with,
not getting what I wanted.
And I've said it before and I'll say it again,
that every so-called rejection is simply redirection.
It's simply just, oh, this isn't that thing.
I'd call it divine spiritual intervention.
That's like, no, no, no, no, no, not that direction.
We're going in this direction.
Yeah, so definitely let your feelings get hurt sometimes.
It's okay, like you can handle it.
Like we can hold hurt feelings.
Our hearts are stronger and more resilient than we know,
but we'll never know if we don't
give ourselves the opportunities
to live our fullest lives ultimately.
So if like me, you've been holding back
on sending that application, reaching out,
applying for the job, throwing your hat in the ring,
whatever ring that might be for you,
may this serve as your little nudge and reminder
that you can do it, go for it.
And whatever the outcome is, you can handle that.
So on that note, let's get into our practice for today.
Find a comfortable position, settle in,
start to notice the breath and close the eyes.
Take a deep breath in to the belly
and let it go.
Place your hand gently over the heart
and breathe into the heart space and let it go.
Letting the jaws soften, letting the shoulders melt
down the back, really feeling into the support
beneath your seat.
Just noticing what's present for you right here
and right now and just observe it.
Maybe it's an emotion, perhaps it's a physical sensation,
perhaps it's a nagging thought, whatever is present for you,
see if you can just observe it without judgment.
Take a deep breath in and let it go.
For the next few minutes, just follow your breath
on the inhale, in your mind you can say breathe in.
And on the exhale, just say to yourself, breathe out,
breathe in and breathe out.
And perhaps you'd like to invite something in
with your inhale.
And as you exhale, maybe there's something
you'd like to let go of.
Inhale and exhale.
And I invite you to continue following the breath
for as long as it feels good for you.
Know that these practices are always available to you.
Thank you so much for practicing with me today.
Thank you so much for listening.
If you know someone who could use a little bit of courage,
share this episode with them.
My name is Sabrina Amina and this is the Feelings Pod.
Thank you so much for joining me.
Have a wonderful day.