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Hello hello, this is Sabrina Amina and I'm here to share the feelings pod with you.

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Feelings Pod is a podcast where I share what I learned, what I'm learning about the human

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experience, our emotions, our feelings, and navigating those feelings as much as possible

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with the tools of mindfulness.

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I'm a holistic health coach and an educator and I have found that these practices have

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really radically transformed my life and it's part of my purpose in this life to share

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what I've learned so that others may join me in this journey.

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So today's episode is on love and self-reliance and lately over the past year or so I've gotten

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more into studying attachment theory and how we form bonds with others and love relations,

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like romantic love relationships, platonic love relationships, friendships, relations

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with families and the thing that I always come back to is the importance on remembering

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that this source of love is always within us.

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As soon as we forget that we are on this mad search conquest to find places outside of

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ourselves so that we can feel loved and appreciated and secure and worthy and all around just

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better about ourselves.

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And the fact is those outside sources aren't always available to one, offer the love, care,

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attention that we're seeking and two, sometimes if it is available it's not quite the thing

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that you need or we're looking for but since we're on this desperate search for love we'll

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take what we can get from wherever we can.

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Which ultimately leaves us feeling a bit more depleted and less valued and so something

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I share with my students is doing a consistent check-in.

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How so just checking in with ourselves and asking how am I today?

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Being your human, hey human, what do you need today?

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What can I offer you?

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And it's not necessary to go searching for a response.

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It's, this is a practice of listening, listening to the body, listening to the spirit, listening

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to the soul, listening to that voice, wherever you imagine that comes from within you and

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really just tuning in, what is it that I need in this moment?

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And how can I offer this to myself in some small way?

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One could argue that one of the most important jobs that we have here in our human experience

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on earth is learning love.

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And that's evidenced by our perpetual pursuit of love, whatever that looks like.

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And so perhaps a check-in will come up with an answer like, hmm, I could use a little bit

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of rest.

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How can I offer myself some rest?

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How can I offer myself some care?

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Now we may not automatically think of rest and care as a form of love, but I'd invite

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you today in our exploration to really like radically expand what maybe you previously

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thought love was or is.

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Because it's wonderful to recognize that I have this indefatigable resource within me

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to offer myself exactly what I need in this moment immediately.

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It's a practice of returning to the self, of returning to self-inquiry, returning to

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what need isn't being met right now, and being aware of our emotional state gives us clues

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because sometimes we might not really be aware of what we need.

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We might not be aware of why we're behaving in ways that aren't necessarily so pleasant

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for ourselves or others.

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It's a really empowering stance to take towards love because every time you turn within, every

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time you ask yourself, hmm, what is it that I desire?

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And sometimes our desires bring up shame or guilt.

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And then we close that lid on the desire because the emotion of shame or guilt gets

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in the way.

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We tell ourselves these stories like, I don't deserve that, I'm not good enough for that,

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or we don't believe that it's possible, which is another way we kind of shut down some of

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our desires.

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It's like, wouldn't it be nice if in some a really cool way to tune into desire is

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noticing where jealousy comes up in your life?

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Jealousy is an emotion that there's a lot of shame around, you're not supposed to feel

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jealousy.

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It brings up discomfort because there's a lot of negative programming around this emotion.

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I just want to assert that none of our emotions are good or bad.

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It's all information.

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Some of them, yes, are more pleasurable and feel good to experience and some of them are

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create discomfort.

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But I wouldn't necessarily say that this is bad, so I have to shut it down.

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It needs to be cut out.

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I think if we orient ourselves towards our emotions in a way that's more neutral through

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the tools of mindfulness, then we can have a more self-loving experience of all of these

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emotions and discover cool things like our deep desires.

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Through this journey, I've really been learning that tapping into my desires ultimately leads

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me to my greater purpose in this human experience on this plane.

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Really, developing this concept of love as this kind of eternal wellspring that is always

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available to us helps us move away from this frantic chase for this person, this achievement,

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this accolade, this shiny, fancy, new thing I can spend money on, or whatever else we're

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pursuing outside of ourselves for this sense of self-fulfillment.

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Now we're social creatures, so of course we're going to seek the company and comfort of those

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around us.

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However, notice what connections feel like when you're grasping and reaching from a place

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of like, my cup's not full.

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Can you please fill up my cup and compare to the quality of connections that you have

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when you feel fully resourced and rested and given yourself time to rest, given yourself

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time to breathe, given yourself time to take a step back from the never-ending onslaught

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of the responsibilities, pausing and saying, hmm, it's time for me to eat something, nourish

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my body, all of these acts are radical acts of self-love and they're super simple.

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It sounds almost absurd.

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However, we live in a capitalist system that is predicated on our production and our action

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and our, you know, we have this weird phrase, making a living, like, am I not living?

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Am I, unless I'm somehow performing an action for someone who's going to give me money in

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exchange for my time, energy, brilliance, resources, um, yeah, like, all of these ways

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that we can pause and return to ourselves and fill our cups, tune into the needs, tune

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into our desires, turn into our longings, who told you you can't have that?

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Who told you you shouldn't long for that?

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Who told you that that desire is wrong?

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Who told you that your need is wrong?

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Who told you that you can't get what you need?

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What's wrong to ask for what you need?

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So I've really been in an intentional practice of being unapologetic about giving myself

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what I need and this gets into a conversation about boundaries and learning, being in touch

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with your sacred no.

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Your no is sacred, it's just as sacred as your yes and when you learn how to say no to

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the things that really aren't resonant for you, to the things that really are antithetical

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to what your needs, desires are, then you learn to say yes to yourself.

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You gave yourself a loving yes.

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So a simple example I like to give from my years of experience as a teacher in public

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schools and private schools.

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It doesn't matter what kind of school you're in, teachers are often expected to give of

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their own time endlessly.

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There's this kind of applause for teachers who work outside of contracted hours, teachers

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who they call it going above and beyond.

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Teachers these days, I don't know, most of us really don't have the capacity for above

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and beyond.

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I'm here, I've shown up with my loving heart to care for these students in front of me.

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I'm just like, that is a gift in and of itself.

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So I protect my time as much as possible.

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I push back against this idea that I constantly need to be giving and giving and giving and

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giving.

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Education is a profession dominated by women.

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It has been a radically self loving act for me to say on my lunch break, guess what?

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I'm going to eat.

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I'm going to nourish my body.

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I'm going to offer myself some love.

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For me, teaching is a practice of love.

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However, it is not sustainable if all we do is send energy outwards and direct it away

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from ourselves in order to gain the approval of others.

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So I give this example of having lunch, taking that time for myself.

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I've made it this sacred time for me.

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I see about 170 teenagers every single day and in order to be showing up for this active

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service, first and foremost, I have to be lovingly showing up in service to myself.

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And this is where I build on myself for lions.

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This is where I feel well resourced.

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I have better classes and engage better with teenagers who are in all kinds of emotional

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states because I'm grounded steadily where I am from a self loving place.

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Now again, this is a practice.

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Do I always show up as like happy, shiny Sabrina Amina?

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Of course not.

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But I also honor when I'm not always happy and shiny and I love that Sabrina Amina too.

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And I notice more when I seek for love and connection outside of myself.

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When I reach out to a family member and they're not available to send loving energy back to

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me, I honor that as well.

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Or at least I'm trying to.

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God knows I'm trying.

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Like I said, it's a practice.

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So yeah, shout out to my five siblings.

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They're probably them and my daughter.

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They're like my biggest teachers in this world.

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Yeah, so I hope that this little reflection was illuminating for you in some small way.

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Thank you so much for listening.

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Let's get into our practice today, shall we?

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Find a comfortable seat.

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As always, you can come back to this practice whenever you're available for it.

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And as you settle in, start to breathe in more deeply, more fully.

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Take a deep breath in and let it go.

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And imagine with each breath in this practice, you're filling your cup with loving, sparkly,

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magical energy that you can carry with you anytime you wish.

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Take a deep breath in.

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Let it go.

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I invite you to place one hand on your heart and one hand on the belly.

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Notice the rise and fall of the chest and your belly as you inhale and exhale.

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Tune in to your beautiful being in this moment and ask, what is it that I need in this moment?

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What nourishing nugget can I add to my cup today?

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Right here, right now.

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Take a deep breath in and let it go.

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Let's ask ourselves one more question.

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Take a deep breath in.

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Let it go.

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What is it that I desire today?

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Really let the answer emerge from within you.

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Notice if the mind is searching.

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Let the mind have a rest.

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Take a deep breath into the belly.

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Let it go and see if that desire just kind of bubbles up on its own.

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It may surprise you, but when it comes up, observe it with curiosity, compassion, kindness,

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understanding.

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Perhaps this desire feels really big.

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Perhaps it seems completely out of reach.

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That's just the ego trying to put you back in your place.

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Your place is the seat of love.

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And in whatever small way you can offer yourself access to this desire, allow yourself to imagine

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that.

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Allow yourself to play here.

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Allow yourself to expand the outer limits of your imagination.

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Take a deep breath in and let it go.

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Perhaps you have this desire to travel to some far off place.

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That's one small way you can lean into that desire, move towards it.

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Perhaps it's simply giving the desire some attention, giving it space to live in your

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imagination.

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Maybe it means going to the library and checking out a book where you can look at the pictures

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of this place.

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Take a deep breath in.

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Let it go.

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And as we sit here, continue breathing in and breathing out.

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Imagining this loving energy emanating from your heart space, imagining this soft pink

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glow expanding out from the heart.

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And this warm pink glow expands throughout the entire body.

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And you're enveloped in this soft pink glow where you can rest and feel that loving vibrational

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energy.

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Take a deep breath in and let it go.

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Allowing that cup to fill up with this glow of pink, radiant, loving energy.

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And that cup filling over, spilling over the sides.

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And in your mind's eye, imagine holding that cup right above the very top of your head

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and pouring it all out.

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Feeling that loving energy just kind of pour down the top of your head, your third eye,

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down your face, softening as it continues down your throat and neck and shoulders.

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Feeling that soft glow continue down the chest, heart, the belly.

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Imagining this energy continuing to pour down the body, down the hips, the thighs, your

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knees, down the legs.

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Down to your feet.

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And as we close the practice today, just imagine sourcing loving energy from the very ground

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beneath you, our loving and supportive earth, breathing that energy all the way up from

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your feet, all the way up back towards the crown of your head.

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And let it go with a sigh.

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Remembering that you can carry this loving light with you all day.

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When you're ready, let the eyes flutter open, looking at the space around you with fresh

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perspective and self-loving energy.

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Thank you so much for practicing with me today.

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If you'd like to learn more about mindfulness and my teachings and coaching, you can find

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me on Instagram at underscore sabrinaamina underscore.

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Have a wonderful day.