Hello hello, this is Sabrina Amina and I'm here to share the feelings pod with you.
Feelings Pod is a podcast where I share what I learned, what I'm learning about the human
experience, our emotions, our feelings, and navigating those feelings as much as possible
with the tools of mindfulness.
I'm a holistic health coach and an educator and I have found that these practices have
really radically transformed my life and it's part of my purpose in this life to share
what I've learned so that others may join me in this journey.
So today's episode is on love and self-reliance and lately over the past year or so I've gotten
more into studying attachment theory and how we form bonds with others and love relations,
like romantic love relationships, platonic love relationships, friendships, relations
with families and the thing that I always come back to is the importance on remembering
that this source of love is always within us.
As soon as we forget that we are on this mad search conquest to find places outside of
ourselves so that we can feel loved and appreciated and secure and worthy and all around just
better about ourselves.
And the fact is those outside sources aren't always available to one, offer the love, care,
attention that we're seeking and two, sometimes if it is available it's not quite the thing
that you need or we're looking for but since we're on this desperate search for love we'll
take what we can get from wherever we can.
Which ultimately leaves us feeling a bit more depleted and less valued and so something
I share with my students is doing a consistent check-in.
How so just checking in with ourselves and asking how am I today?
Being your human, hey human, what do you need today?
What can I offer you?
And it's not necessary to go searching for a response.
It's, this is a practice of listening, listening to the body, listening to the spirit, listening
to the soul, listening to that voice, wherever you imagine that comes from within you and
really just tuning in, what is it that I need in this moment?
And how can I offer this to myself in some small way?
One could argue that one of the most important jobs that we have here in our human experience
on earth is learning love.
And that's evidenced by our perpetual pursuit of love, whatever that looks like.
And so perhaps a check-in will come up with an answer like, hmm, I could use a little bit
of rest.
How can I offer myself some rest?
How can I offer myself some care?
Now we may not automatically think of rest and care as a form of love, but I'd invite
you today in our exploration to really like radically expand what maybe you previously
thought love was or is.
Because it's wonderful to recognize that I have this indefatigable resource within me
to offer myself exactly what I need in this moment immediately.
It's a practice of returning to the self, of returning to self-inquiry, returning to
what need isn't being met right now, and being aware of our emotional state gives us clues
because sometimes we might not really be aware of what we need.
We might not be aware of why we're behaving in ways that aren't necessarily so pleasant
for ourselves or others.
It's a really empowering stance to take towards love because every time you turn within, every
time you ask yourself, hmm, what is it that I desire?
And sometimes our desires bring up shame or guilt.
And then we close that lid on the desire because the emotion of shame or guilt gets
in the way.
We tell ourselves these stories like, I don't deserve that, I'm not good enough for that,
or we don't believe that it's possible, which is another way we kind of shut down some of
our desires.
It's like, wouldn't it be nice if in some a really cool way to tune into desire is
noticing where jealousy comes up in your life?
Jealousy is an emotion that there's a lot of shame around, you're not supposed to feel
jealousy.
It brings up discomfort because there's a lot of negative programming around this emotion.
I just want to assert that none of our emotions are good or bad.
It's all information.
Some of them, yes, are more pleasurable and feel good to experience and some of them are
create discomfort.
But I wouldn't necessarily say that this is bad, so I have to shut it down.
It needs to be cut out.
I think if we orient ourselves towards our emotions in a way that's more neutral through
the tools of mindfulness, then we can have a more self-loving experience of all of these
emotions and discover cool things like our deep desires.
Through this journey, I've really been learning that tapping into my desires ultimately leads
me to my greater purpose in this human experience on this plane.
Really, developing this concept of love as this kind of eternal wellspring that is always
available to us helps us move away from this frantic chase for this person, this achievement,
this accolade, this shiny, fancy, new thing I can spend money on, or whatever else we're
pursuing outside of ourselves for this sense of self-fulfillment.
Now we're social creatures, so of course we're going to seek the company and comfort of those
around us.
However, notice what connections feel like when you're grasping and reaching from a place
of like, my cup's not full.
Can you please fill up my cup and compare to the quality of connections that you have
when you feel fully resourced and rested and given yourself time to rest, given yourself
time to breathe, given yourself time to take a step back from the never-ending onslaught
of the responsibilities, pausing and saying, hmm, it's time for me to eat something, nourish
my body, all of these acts are radical acts of self-love and they're super simple.
It sounds almost absurd.
However, we live in a capitalist system that is predicated on our production and our action
and our, you know, we have this weird phrase, making a living, like, am I not living?
Am I, unless I'm somehow performing an action for someone who's going to give me money in
exchange for my time, energy, brilliance, resources, um, yeah, like, all of these ways
that we can pause and return to ourselves and fill our cups, tune into the needs, tune
into our desires, turn into our longings, who told you you can't have that?
Who told you you shouldn't long for that?
Who told you that that desire is wrong?
Who told you that your need is wrong?
Who told you that you can't get what you need?
What's wrong to ask for what you need?
So I've really been in an intentional practice of being unapologetic about giving myself
what I need and this gets into a conversation about boundaries and learning, being in touch
with your sacred no.
Your no is sacred, it's just as sacred as your yes and when you learn how to say no to
the things that really aren't resonant for you, to the things that really are antithetical
to what your needs, desires are, then you learn to say yes to yourself.
You gave yourself a loving yes.
So a simple example I like to give from my years of experience as a teacher in public
schools and private schools.
It doesn't matter what kind of school you're in, teachers are often expected to give of
their own time endlessly.
There's this kind of applause for teachers who work outside of contracted hours, teachers
who they call it going above and beyond.
Teachers these days, I don't know, most of us really don't have the capacity for above
and beyond.
I'm here, I've shown up with my loving heart to care for these students in front of me.
I'm just like, that is a gift in and of itself.
So I protect my time as much as possible.
I push back against this idea that I constantly need to be giving and giving and giving and
giving.
Education is a profession dominated by women.
It has been a radically self loving act for me to say on my lunch break, guess what?
I'm going to eat.
I'm going to nourish my body.
I'm going to offer myself some love.
For me, teaching is a practice of love.
However, it is not sustainable if all we do is send energy outwards and direct it away
from ourselves in order to gain the approval of others.
So I give this example of having lunch, taking that time for myself.
I've made it this sacred time for me.
I see about 170 teenagers every single day and in order to be showing up for this active
service, first and foremost, I have to be lovingly showing up in service to myself.
And this is where I build on myself for lions.
This is where I feel well resourced.
I have better classes and engage better with teenagers who are in all kinds of emotional
states because I'm grounded steadily where I am from a self loving place.
Now again, this is a practice.
Do I always show up as like happy, shiny Sabrina Amina?
Of course not.
But I also honor when I'm not always happy and shiny and I love that Sabrina Amina too.
And I notice more when I seek for love and connection outside of myself.
When I reach out to a family member and they're not available to send loving energy back to
me, I honor that as well.
Or at least I'm trying to.
God knows I'm trying.
Like I said, it's a practice.
So yeah, shout out to my five siblings.
They're probably them and my daughter.
They're like my biggest teachers in this world.
Yeah, so I hope that this little reflection was illuminating for you in some small way.
Thank you so much for listening.
Let's get into our practice today, shall we?
Find a comfortable seat.
As always, you can come back to this practice whenever you're available for it.
And as you settle in, start to breathe in more deeply, more fully.
Take a deep breath in and let it go.
And imagine with each breath in this practice, you're filling your cup with loving, sparkly,
magical energy that you can carry with you anytime you wish.
Take a deep breath in.
Let it go.
I invite you to place one hand on your heart and one hand on the belly.
Notice the rise and fall of the chest and your belly as you inhale and exhale.
Tune in to your beautiful being in this moment and ask, what is it that I need in this moment?
What nourishing nugget can I add to my cup today?
Right here, right now.
Take a deep breath in and let it go.
Let's ask ourselves one more question.
Take a deep breath in.
Let it go.
What is it that I desire today?
Really let the answer emerge from within you.
Notice if the mind is searching.
Let the mind have a rest.
Take a deep breath into the belly.
Let it go and see if that desire just kind of bubbles up on its own.
It may surprise you, but when it comes up, observe it with curiosity, compassion, kindness,
understanding.
Perhaps this desire feels really big.
Perhaps it seems completely out of reach.
That's just the ego trying to put you back in your place.
Your place is the seat of love.
And in whatever small way you can offer yourself access to this desire, allow yourself to imagine
that.
Allow yourself to play here.
Allow yourself to expand the outer limits of your imagination.
Take a deep breath in and let it go.
Perhaps you have this desire to travel to some far off place.
That's one small way you can lean into that desire, move towards it.
Perhaps it's simply giving the desire some attention, giving it space to live in your
imagination.
Maybe it means going to the library and checking out a book where you can look at the pictures
of this place.
Take a deep breath in.
Let it go.
And as we sit here, continue breathing in and breathing out.
Imagining this loving energy emanating from your heart space, imagining this soft pink
glow expanding out from the heart.
And this warm pink glow expands throughout the entire body.
And you're enveloped in this soft pink glow where you can rest and feel that loving vibrational
energy.
Take a deep breath in and let it go.
Allowing that cup to fill up with this glow of pink, radiant, loving energy.
And that cup filling over, spilling over the sides.
And in your mind's eye, imagine holding that cup right above the very top of your head
and pouring it all out.
Feeling that loving energy just kind of pour down the top of your head, your third eye,
down your face, softening as it continues down your throat and neck and shoulders.
Feeling that soft glow continue down the chest, heart, the belly.
Imagining this energy continuing to pour down the body, down the hips, the thighs, your
knees, down the legs.
Down to your feet.
And as we close the practice today, just imagine sourcing loving energy from the very ground
beneath you, our loving and supportive earth, breathing that energy all the way up from
your feet, all the way up back towards the crown of your head.
And let it go with a sigh.
Remembering that you can carry this loving light with you all day.
When you're ready, let the eyes flutter open, looking at the space around you with fresh
perspective and self-loving energy.
Thank you so much for practicing with me today.
If you'd like to learn more about mindfulness and my teachings and coaching, you can find
me on Instagram at underscore sabrinaamina underscore.
Have a wonderful day.