Welcome to Healing Scars with Pastor Burton,
the official podcast of Cross Christian Fellowship,
Route 66, in the heart of Albuquerque, New Mexico,
where Burton is the lead pastor. We're glad you're
here. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Sanctuary.
It's great to have you with us as always. Now,
something that we talk about a lot in church,
of course, is forgiveness. You know, it doesn't
matter where you've been, when you've been. At
some point, you've heard us talk about forgiveness.
You've heard it defined. You've heard about biblical
perspective, all that kind of stuff. Well, guess
what? We're going to expand on it a bit this
week. So, I'd like to start off by painting some
pictures for you to reflect on, okay? we've all
heard of or have experienced at one point or
another. So first, I'd like for you to think
about a church that you've been to at some point
in your life. It could even be ours. In fact,
it doesn't really matter. It could even be work
or school or any number of places with people.
There's the key. So whatever this place is, start
putting it in your head. Now, suppose that somebody
in this place has said something about you that
just plain isn't true. Not that they were intending
to do anything malicious or even hurtful, nothing
like that. Just plain gossip. Now, the person
really didn't know what they were talking about.
They were just talking for talking sake. All
right, starting to get the picture now? And basically,
it kind of goes like this. It goes like that
experiment where a person whispers something
to someone, and then that person tells the next,
and then that person tells the next person, and
so on, and so on, and so on, until by the time
it gets to the end of the chain, it's morphed
into something totally and completely different.
Well, in this case, it's worse. It's worse than
what they originally said. So hold on to that
thought, all right? So that's picture number
one. And really a lot of us can picture that
one pretty easy from work or school or something
like that. Unfortunately, I say church because
sometimes things happen in churches as well,
right? We hate to say it, we hate for it to happen,
but it does happen. Now, next, hold on to that
picture, stick it to the side of your mind, and
I want you to now think about a child in your
life. Your child. Or maybe you don't have one,
so maybe a niece or a nephew. Or a sibling. Because
there are those of you out there that have siblings
that are significantly younger. It happens. Or
any other relative for that matter. Now, imagine
them coming home in tears because of a rumor.
So you start asking questions. What's this rumor?
What did they say? When did it start? Who started
it? Who's involved? All that kind of stuff, right?
In either of these scenarios, or anything even
remotely like them, you'd be getting pretty angry
at this point. Right? I know you would, because
I would. All of us do. That's just how it happens.
And it's bad enough when somebody hurts you or
attacks your character. It's something else when
it's someone you care about deeply. Now, I said
a few months back, these are all things, I'm
sorry, I should say a few moments ago, I've said
this about forgiveness months back. I've talked
about it even recently. The way we react is the
way we react. It's part of being human. These
are all things that are hard to deal with. And
maybe someone out there is dealing with this
sort of thing right now. It happens. It happens
all the time. I spent a long, long time working
in health care, and I can tell you in hospitals
there's a lot of gossip. So what do we do? Well,
we look to Jesus because Jesus told us what we
should do. And if we open our Bibles to Matthew
18, We're going to start seeing what the word
says. So Matthew 18, specifically verses 21 through
22. So if you're following along in your Bible,
Matthew 18, 21 through 22. If you're taking notes,
again, Matthew 18, verses 21 through 22. And
the word says, Then Peter came up to him and
said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against
me? And I forgive him up to seven times. Jesus
said to him, I do not say to you, Up to seven
times, but up to 70 times seven. Now, at this
point, we have a choice to make, don't we? And
that choice is whether we're going to forgive
or not. Remember the old saying, what would Jesus
do? Well, it applies here. We should ask ourselves,
how we can be like Jesus here? Because the answers
are very clear. Number one, We can choose to
follow Christ and forgive the offender. Or two,
we can choose to be worldly and go against what
Jesus has told us and be unforgiving. Those are
really the only two options on the table. There's
nothing that truly falls in the middle. It's
one or the other. So let's take a deeper look
at this. In fact, Let's take a look as to why
Peter asked Jesus this question in the first
place. Let's just go back a few verses. We're
going to just stay in Matthew 18, and we're going
to look at verses 15 through 20. In verses 15
through 20, Jesus says, Moreover, if your brother
sins against you, go and tell him his fault between
you and him alone. If he hears you, you have
gained a brother. But if he will not hear you,
take with you one or two more, that by the mouth
of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the
church. But if he refuses to even hear the church,
let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
Assuredly, I say to you. Whatever you bind on
earth will be bound in heaven. Whatever you loose
on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again I say
to you that if the two of you agree on earth
concerning anything they ask, it will be done
for them by my Father in heaven. For where two
or three are gathered together in my name, I
am there in the midst of them. All right, so
now we're digging, right? We're digging in. We're
getting in the meat and potatoes. We're starting
to see the real context of the question and the
answer, right? And I'd like to pause here for
just a moment because there's something here
I want to point out. I'm telling you, this is
going to blow your mind if you've never seen
it before. Let's take a look at verse 20. Which
specifically says, for where two or three are
gathered in my name, I am there in the midst
of them. This verse is taken out of context way
too often. Because it's taken and tried to be
used by itself to mean something else, something
other than what it does. But notice what we're
talking about. We're talking about dealing with
trespasses and forgiveness, not praying. It's
not where two or more gather to my name and pray
or whatever. It's not what it's talking about.
When we take it out of context and we use it
like it often is, it's like saying God isn't
with us when we pray on our own or at any other
time, which is absolutely ridiculous. It is completely
silly. It stupefies me sometimes because to think
that God's only with us if we have a couple of
us together or more in order to pray, that he's
not with us at any other time? No. What he's
actually telling us is that as believers filled
with the Holy Spirit, that when we come together
and we pray and it's in God's will, that his
will will be done. our demands, right? It's saying
that God is with us as we pray for guidance and
then move forward in his will. That he's with
us and will uphold the decisions that are being
made. That's the key right there. Because if
you look at this whole thing, it's like, I shouldn't
say like, it is a legal concept. Because it's
basically saying, hey, if somebody offends you,
Go and talk to them. If they're not going to
listen to you, go and grab a couple of witnesses
who are there and go and try to confront them
again. And if you still won't listen, bring them
before the church. And this is all things that
are happening essentially within the church,
not outside. But I digress. Let's get back to
our subject matter here. So again, Peter was
asking, how far does someone need to go to forgive
another? Basically, where's the line drawn? And
at what point do they not have to worry about
it anymore? And seven, it seems like a pretty
good number, doesn't it? I mean, seven's already...
If somebody forgives someone seven times, you
can definitely say they're already going way
above and way beyond what even rabbis are taught.
Because they're taught that... You should only
have to do something three times. Basically,
three strikes and you're out. One, two, three,
get out of here. However, what Jesus is saying
is that neither of those numbers are good enough.
We need to take a look at that seven and then
go even further, about 70 times further. Think
of it this way. Someone gives you something to
take care of. It's not a matter of just having
whatever it is, but leaving it. In better condition
than how you received it. And our forgiveness
needs to be the same. It's something we can't
keep count of. Nor should we even try. You know,
it should be limitless, which is the point here.
Because, you know, how many times are you going
to do something and remember, oh yeah, on this
date I did it this many times, at this time,
oh, and then there's this many times here. No,
that's the whole point. You know, just as Christ
forgave each of us and his forgiveness for each
of us is limitless, no matter how many times
we fail, no matter how many times we fall down
or let him down or sin against him, you know,
just as unlimited, you know, as the forgiveness
is in the nature. of Christ. It should be in
all of us as his followers. Why? Because he lives
in us. In fact, it's so important that if we
move back ahead to Jesus' response to Peter's
question in Matthew 18, verses 21 through 35,
we find that Jesus tells the parable of the unforgiving
debtor. For time's sake, And if you're not familiar,
I'm just going to summarize the story. And you
can read it in its entirety at any point whenever
you have time. Please do. I recommend it. Basically,
the way it goes is there's a servant whose debt
is pretty steep. And he's in debt to the king.
And he goes before the king because his debt
marker is being called, basically. And he begs
for mercy. The king hears him and takes pity
on him and forgives the debt like it never happened.
And the servant is released. However, the servant
then begins calling on debts owed to him. He's
calling those markers in. And instead of being
loving and forgiving just as he was forgiven,
he's the opposite. He's harsh and he's unmerciful.
Sounds like a lot of us, doesn't it? We want
to be forgiven, but then we turn around and we're
jerks to other people. And in the end, what he
was doing was reported back to the king, who
decided to rescind that forgiveness and had him
jailed and punished for his transgressions. And
that's exactly what God will do if we don't forgive
people the same as he's forgiven us. what they
did. We cannot hold those grudges. We shouldn't
use these shortcomings as ammo against people.
And man, do we love to do that. Instead, we need
to forgive and we need to forgive in full just
like we've been forgiven. And we should be doing
it whether or not the other person's repentant
or apologizing or anything or not. Because it's
not about them. It's about God. And it's about...
how we respond that reflects our relationship
with God. Yes, your response, whether or not
you forgive somebody, is a reflection directly
of your relationship with Jesus Christ. So it's
important that we forgive. It's not easy, but
it's important. Aside from the obvious that I've
already stated, let's take a look at it. let's
look at that unforgiveness, that grudge and anger
we hold on to as though we're entitled to it.
We're entitled to want what we want. Let's look
at what it gives us, and as we do so, let's read
Matthew 18, 31. So, Matthew 18, verse 31, Jesus
tells us, So when his fellow servants saw what
had been done, they were very grieved and came
and told their master what had been done. Again,
what does unforgiveness get us? Well, let's start
with our families. When we're angry and we're
bitter, it affects them. They see it in us. And
whether we realize it or not, we're victimizing
them. We're victimizing the people we love with
our own hate and discontent. It impacts our relationships.
We start putting people at a distance or even,
you know, it can even cost us relationships.
And how we react, you know, our actions influences
them. Think about it. If a loved one is hurt
or angry, we usually are too because we don't
want to see our loved one hurt. So we go on the
defense and we want to help them. To get the
justice they perceive that they're entitled to
or that we perceive they're entitled to. Even
though we don't know all the facts. We only know
what's been brought home versus the full picture
of what's transpired and what's going on on the
other person's end. All too often, people come
home and say, oh, I'm the victim, I'm the victim.
And it turns out, no, they weren't the victim
at all. So our sins of unforgiveness become our
family's sin as well. You know, all those that
hate, discontent parents, you pass that on to
your kids. You pass it on to your nephews and
nieces. You know, we pass those things on to
people who look up to us. How about our friends?
They're very similar to our families. When we're
upset, they're upset. Much like our families,
they have our backs. They're essentially our
expanded family, right? And if we're vengeful,
they are too. What's worse is if we're upset
with a friend and we refuse to forgive them,
we very well may end up losing that friend. Now,
I know I've mentioned this a few times over the
years, but I was a bit of a brat growing up.
I got into a lot of fights. I did a lot of stupid
things that I shouldn't have. And I know what
you're thinking. What? A Marine who likes to
fight? No, say it's not so. Surely you jest.
I don't jest and don't call me Shirley. But I
had one fight. In particular, that came about
because of a friend. My friend had taken offense
with another person over a girl of all things.
Yes, I was in school. Now, my friend was not
a fighter in the slightest, not even a little
bit. So I stepped up and I made it my fight.
I got angry. I was saying things I shouldn't
have. I was doing things I shouldn't have. I
was interjecting myself what I shouldn't have,
but I did. And we get out there. We both show
up. It's the old school. We have rings and stuff
on us. We're prepared just in case. It's like,
really? No. So we're taking them both. Both of
us taking it off. We're going bare knuckle the
whole time. It's go time. We're cocky. We're
arrogant. I'm more so. I'd been in fights. I
knew I could take a hit. So I let this guy get
in a couple of shots. Well, that day, I found
the bigger and better fighter. The bigger dog
in the yard. It was right in front of me. Because
I'll tell you what, when those first few hits
came in, they left me in a daze. Not so much
that they hurt, they didn't hurt. They just landed
so right that I was seeing white. And nothing
was working right afterwards. My feet were wrong.
I was trying to return punches. They weren't
going right. Everything was wrong. I was rocked.
I was feeling pretty silly at that point. Not
even embarrassed because things weren't even
registered yet. I got a bloody nose. My ears
are ringing. The bell was rung. The fight was
done. And it earned me a concussion. Which evolved
into post -concussion syndrome that lasted several
months afterwards. Because I put myself into
something petty that I shouldn't have. You know,
and that feeling afterwards, you know, like I
let down my friends who were there, you know,
and gave other people I didn't know something
to laugh about. These thoughts start seeking
in. You know, here I am and I'm walking down
the road with a bloody nose and black eye. So
a little bit of humiliation starts to set in.
Definitely humbled. You know, my friend's sin
became my sin. And we all do it at some point.
Maybe not to that extreme, but we all fall into
that trap. Remember those scenarios that we started
with today, right? I painted a couple pictures.
Unforgiveness can rip apart churches as well.
Just like it can rip apart friendships. It can
rip apart families. There are pastors and congregations
under them who are unforgiving, unloving, and
un -Christ -like because of their own anger and
resentment. Their own issues that have gone unresolved.
And they let them seep in. These are some of
the ugliest scars that have impacted the church
today. Because not only Do they need to be recognized?
But they need to admit to them and bring these
issues before Christ in order to heal. The problem
is pride gets in the way. So the church is hurt
inside and out. And when and where there is unforgiveness
in his church, In the people who should know
better and do better, who set the example as
his ambassadors. We don't need to bash the church
at that point, do we? We don't need others to
bash the church. Because the damage is already
done. We've already hurt his name and his reputation
ourselves. The devil doesn't have to do anything
but sit back, pop some popcorn, and enjoy the
show. We do it in our own arrogance and our own
pride. We hurt the Father. The enemy doesn't
even have to at that point because we make that
choice. Let's look down a little further in Matthew
18, verses 32 -34. Jesus says, He had called
him, said to him, You wicked servant! I forgave
you all that debt because you begged me. Should
you not have also had compassion on your fellow
servant, just as I had pity on you? And his master
was angry and delivered him to the torturers
until he should pay. All that was due to him.
Oh, our hate and discontent, our refusal to forgive
goes against God. And that sin makes him angry.
Like any parent who warns their child, don't
do it. Do not do it or else there will be consequences.
But we do it anyways. And then we get upset and
we freak out when our parents would spank us
and ground us and take things away. You know,
our employers get upset or our friends get upset.
You know, we end up getting punished or written
up or suspended or all this other stuff and it
goes on and on, etc., etc. And our own anger.
We forget all the things God has done for us.
The price that was paid in blood so that we could
be forgiven. The mercy and the grace poured out
on us even though we continue to sin again and
again and again. We forget. We forget all about
the forgiveness and love given to us. Instead
of paying it forward and sharing it with others,
we hoard it for ourselves and refuse to share
it with others. Like children who get upset because
someone won't share their toys, but they refuse
to share ours when they do. We're like Smeagol.
Oh, my precious, right? With his little ring.
Our sin. Our sin doesn't just impact us. always,
always impacts others. And the consequences of
it aren't just ours to bear, but are theirs as
well when they take it on as well. Our sin divides
his people. It divides God's people. It hurts
his church, his bride. It tarnishes the name
of Christ. You know, we like to say things like,
oh, you were hurt by the church? Well, that was
people, not God. But let me ask you this. How
is a non -believer or someone new just coming
in the door supposed to believe this when they
themselves were looking to know God but turned
away by the sin of those claiming to be Christians?
Those who are supposed to represent Him and teach
others. The children act up. The father gets
angry. And the price is paid for it. Remember
when you were a kid? Right? You messed up. You
got the belt. Maybe a wooden spoon. The old chancla.
Right? Go get your twitch. Make it a good one.
Part of that price is the personal pain we see
in verse 34. We're tormented by unforgiveness.
Some suffer throughout their entire lives because
they won't forgive. They refuse. It eats away
at them. It hardens them. And in some cases,
just mention a name and you can see that anger
start to well up. You want an example? Let's
use a president's name. See how people react.
Reagan. Clinton. Bush. Obama. Trump. You don't
have to look back far and you see people melt
down. From the opposite side of their political
leanings. That's a lot to have to carry. And
we're not supposed to. That's a weight we weren't
even meant to pick up. So you have to forgive.
Well, Pastor, how do we do that? Well, to start,
Matthew 18 verses 15 -17 tell us. Tell the offending
party that they've hurt you. We all need to tell
those people who hurt us that they've hurt us.
And if they won't listen and there are witnesses,
we should go grab a couple of them to back us
up in explaining how that person has committed
an offense. Now, you don't have to take a lynch
mob. Just a couple people will do. And if things
still aren't moving forward and everybody's a
part of the church, Well, then you and your supporting
Christians need to take that issue before the
church. Because the church needs to be protected
from the sin occurring within. They need to deal
with the issues that are within. If they're not
part of the church, well, there's an answer for
that too. Pray for them. Still pray for them.
Church doesn't have to be involved at that point.
Not necessarily. Now, it's not to say you can't
take it before the church as a prayer request.
Yes, you can. Just be careful about naming people.
You might make it like an anonymous thing. But
people need to be prayed for. And here's the
thing, though. If you've done all this and that
person or people still won't take responsibility,
well, then we go on to what Matthew 18 verses
19 through 20 are talking about. Pray for guidance
in God's will. Make the decision on what to do
and then do it. Don't be hasty. Pray. That's
the whole thing. Take a minute, step back, talk
to God about it. What's in His will? You might
find, hey, you need to change something within
yourself even. You never know. But you pray and
you make that decision on what to do. And then
once that decision is done, you do it. Don't
hem and haw. Don't question it. Once the decision
is there, just do it and move forward. And whatever
that choice was between the few of you, God will
honor it because it's being done in accordance
with his will. Even if it means treating that
person like a pagan or a tax collector, asking
them to leave. Yes, asking them to leave is perfectly
okay. It happens. Even in the church, it's okay.
If push comes to shove and it gets to that point,
sometimes that is the way to respond. It's like,
hey, we can't have this. Something needs to change.
We're going to ask you to leave until it does
change. It happens. But beyond it all, be loving
and discerning the entire way. Loving and discerning.
The entire way. I said it again. And continually
pray over them and continually pray over this
situation for God's guidance and, if need be,
His intercession. So be loving, be discerning,
and prayerful. Next, it's more important that
we need to forgive the offending party. In our
own hearts. Yeah. We need to forgive the offending
party in our own hearts. Colossians chapter 3
verses 12 through 13. The word says, Therefore,
as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on
tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness,
long -suffering, bearing with one another, and
forgiving one another. If anyone has a complaint
against another, even as Christ forgave you,
so you also must do. It's not a simple matter
of saying a couple words. Oh, I forgive you.
No, it goes deeper than that. We truly and fully
have to let go in order to purge it from our
hearts. Sometimes, you know, you get in a fight
with your significant other. Separate for a little
bit. Come back together. Separate for a few minutes
so you don't have to say things that you don't
need to say. Say things that you don't want to
say. Things that shouldn't be said. Because you
don't want to be ugly. You don't want to be ugly.
Sometimes it's good to just take a moment to
go and breathe. Come back together and say, okay.
We can work through this, right? We're going
to move forward, right? Yes. Okay. Cool. I forgive.
Sometimes that's all that needs to be said. I
forgive. I'm sorry. I love you. I forgive you.
Moving forward, right? But we truly and fully
have to let go in order to purge these things
from our hearts. We have to take the hurt that
we're feeling to the Lord and tell Him what it
is and leave it at His feet knowing, trusting,
that's faith, that He will deal with it properly
and in His perfect timing. You can't just, or
I should say, we can't just go and complain to
Him. and then carry it back out the door with
us. You know, he can't do anything about it when
we carry it back out with us. We have to surrender
it to him. We have to, you know, just completely
drop it at his feet, at his throne. You know,
some of us, we like to walk out. We have that
little, you know, rope tied around it where we're
walking out. We just, you know, kind of like
that dollar bill trick. You can just jerk it
and pull it back to yourself. No, let it go for
your own sake. You have to realize that all that
pain and all the suffering that comes with it
isn't worth the price. that it takes on you and
those you love. So like the king in Christ's
parable, and like Christ himself, because that's
who it's talking about, you have to release your
offenders of repayment or obligation to correct
the transgression and move forward with no expectation
of reward or settlement other than the peace
that God and God alone So we begin to work towards
a close. I'm going to remind you of Romans 5
verse 8. So Romans chapter 5 verse 8. The word
states, But God demonstrates His own love towards
us, and that while we were still sinners, Christ
died for us. We've all sinned. We've all done
things to hurt and offend others. Our forgiveness
was bought for the very heavy price of Jesus
on the cross. A price paid in full, in blood,
that we ourselves can never repay. We can never
earn it. It's a forgiveness that we truly never
even deserve. Yet it was given anyways. Freely,
lovingly, gracefully, mercifully, a forgiveness
so full and so loving, it was given to us so
that we in turn can not only be reunited with
the Father, but share it with others so that
they too can come to know Christ and be forgiven
as well. So don't be ungrateful. Don't be selfish.
God gave us this gift in the expectation that
we share it with others and use it to point the
way to Christ. We need to be forgiving like Christ
who forgave us and do our very best to act the
way He acted regardless of our own hurt. To forgive
without excuse. Because we ourselves, we have
no excuse. And in freeing others, we free ourselves.
We free the future. Because Christ has broken
those chains. He's given us the key to finish
releasing those bonds that held them to us. So
we need to forgive as Jesus forgave. You need
to forgive as Jesus forgave you. And as we close,
I'd like everyone to bow their head for a moment
and close their eyes. Unless you're driving out
there, of course, and you're listening online.
But I want you to search yourself. Search yourself
and ask God to reveal those things that you've
been blind to. To take those hurts that are inside
and turn them over to Christ today. Leave them
with Him. And if you're hearing this and you
haven't forgiven yourself, you need to do so.
If you haven't given yourself to the Lord, You
need to do so. And you can do this now because
his forgiveness is available to you as well.
Pray and ask for the forgiveness that only Jesus
can give you and recognize that we've all sinned
and we've all fallen short and we all need that
forgiveness in our lives. Let us pray. Father,
we come to you knowing that we're all sinners.
We've all fallen short of the goal. We've all
messed up. Those expectations that you've had
for us, well, we've missed them too. We've offended.
We've hurt. Sometimes we've done it willingly.
Sometimes we've done it knowingly. Other times,
no idea. None whatsoever. But that's never an
excuse. None of that is an excuse. So please
forgive us. Forgive us all. And help us to let
go of those transgressions and forgive others
just as you've forgiven us. Teach us how to let
them go, fully and completely. Help us to find
that closure when we can, to go to those that
we're able to and try to have that dialogue.
Unless, of course, it's going to make the situation
worse, in which case we leave it in your hands.
We leave it all to you because we don't want
to hurt others more than we already have. And
we know sometimes just being there is going to
do just that. Help us to fully understand this
gift that you've given us and that forgiveness
is all part of loving our neighbors and you have
commanded us and your second commandment is to
love others just as we would love ourselves.
So we need to take that and recognize that forgiveness
in all of its forms is love and you are love.
And it's a gift to be shared. So please help
us. Help us to live that life that you've set
for us and that you'd have for us. Live that
life that's in your will where we can become
more Christ -like every day and less like the
world every day. And when there's a chance in
front of us to point the way to you, and to be
a beacon of hope for others, to be a blessing
for others. Help us to recognize it, open that
door, and walk right through it in your light,
in your guidance. We pray this in Jesus' name.
Amen. And remember, as you go forward from here
today, you are loved and you are blessed. Now
go and be the church. Thank you for joining us
at Healing Scars with Pastor Burton. Until next
time, take care and God bless.