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Under the Lemon Tree, it's episode 23.

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Hello and welcome back to the Rina 100 show, a show where I, Rina 100, talk about whatever

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you want every week. And this week the theme will be something that haunts us all in the

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middle of the night. Aren't you excited to hear about that? It is, of course, money.

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Money makes the world go round, the world go round. Science has not proven that yet.

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In fact, science hasn't proven that money has anything to do with the world going round,

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but you already knew that. Money. Wow. How does it affect so much about our lives without

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being a real thing? I don't know. Isn't it so interesting that humanity can just decide

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to agree upon a shared reality and then suddenly it just impacts everybody in incredibly dramatic

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ways? It's almost like us agreeing with each other has immense power and could change everything

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if only we could. Why can't we agree about other things? Why can't I ever do an episode

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without going into this accent? I don't know. I don't know. But yeah, isn't that interesting

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that we all agree that this thing that doesn't... I mean, I guess at one point it sort of did

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exist, right? The gold back, green back, green bay packers. Okay, Rena. But yeah, money used

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to be a thing. It used to be this much gold or silver or whatever that I guess had value.

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But we still gave gold that value because it's shiny. What is that? Why do we love shiny

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things? What is that? Why? I mean, I get that they're pretty, but why? Why do we love...

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Why do we value shiny things, sparkly things? I mean, the stars are sparkly. No, none of

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it makes sense. I don't understand why. But anyway, I guess money used to have intrinsic

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value and now, well, no, it only has theoretical value that we've all agreed upon that we've

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lost our whole society around, kind of. But yeah, I kind of wish we could also agree upon

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some other stuff that could also be very impactful. You know what I mean? But yeah, as much as

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money isn't a real thing, it feels incredibly real. Why? Because its effects are real. It

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impacts all of our basic needs, housing, food, feeling like we have a real career, Rena.

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I had a lot of trouble calling myself a comedian until I actually was making a living at it,

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which only happened nine years in, something like that, which is fair because I was pretty

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bad at it for the first five or so. And then I had to... It's a journey. It's a trajectory.

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You're on a graph. You start at one point and you get to another and you know what I'm

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saying. There's a road to go down. But yeah, in the end, it's money. It's getting money

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for it that made me finally feel like I could call it a vocation. And in that sense, money

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validates. And money is our lifeline. Money is what we depend on to get the food into

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our fridges, to get the roof over our head. It just affects so much of us just staying

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alive. And that's why it haunts us because for a lot of us, there is no safety net. I

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mean, we know we're going to get more. It really represents a lot about what's mysterious

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about life, isn't it? Because let's say you're stuck in a bad feeling. You know logically

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you're not going to feel that way forever, but it feels like you will. And it's kind

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of the same thing when you're broke. It's like you know that you're going to have more

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money eventually, somehow. You're going to figure it out, right? But it feels like it's

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never going to happen. And it's so scary when you're at the bottom of it all and you're

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worried about just keeping your basic needs met. Living paycheck to paycheck is I cannot

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express enough how mentally and emotionally taxing that is. And you're just like, why

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am I so tired all the time? Why do I feel so bad? Why? Because you have no safety net.

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You don't know that you're definitely forever going to have your basic needs met because

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you don't have enough money to cover that. So sometimes I pretend in my head like what

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it would be like, how I would feel in my body to be really rich and just walk into a building

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knowing I could buy and sell it if I wanted to. And well, that's fun sometimes. But so

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for those reasons, money deeply affects the way we see ourselves because money is literally

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value. It's a numeric value for something. So it's really the only logically measurable

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way that we can be like, this is exactly how much value I have in society. Otherwise it's

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just vibes. You're just vibing it out thinking about how much value you have. Of course it's

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a lie. Money has nothing to do with how valuable you are to society. It's a big fucking lie.

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But it's the only way you can actually measure it in numbers in real time. So it messes with

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your head and it lies to you and it makes you think, oh, I have this much money. That's

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how much I'm worth to society and I'm worth to the world. And it is so difficult to rip

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your worth away from that number and just know that you have intrinsic value regardless

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of what is in your bank account because it's just so damn quantifiable. But in the end

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it's just, it's incredibly arbitrary. Not only does it not fairly represent your value,

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it doesn't actually represent anybody's value accurately at all. It is, in my opinion,

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100% arbitrary. Who has a lot of money? Who doesn't? I think though it's hard, it's like

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our minds need to justify. Our minds have this incredible need for story, for storyline,

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story arc, and to justify why things are the way they are. Like our minds can't handle

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just chaos and mystery and just mystery without answer, endless mystery, the abyss of the

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unknown that is all around us. Our minds can't handle it. So we need some story to justify

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our reality because otherwise it's just chaos and meaningless and it's just very hard, very

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hard to exist with that. I don't know, why can't we handle that? Why do we need story?

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I mean that could be a whole separate thing but I think our brains just need to justify

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the amount of money we have in our bank account and that also feeds into why we need to, we

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need to tell ourselves this story about how it represents our worth or alternately, alternatively,

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whichever word works, you figure it out. If you have a lot of money, you know, some people

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feel like, well I just am really good at manifesting, which we all know is privilege and bullshit.

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I mean I think, do we all know that? I don't know. I mean there is a thing with vibes,

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like you get the vibes you put out. I do think that is true to a certain extent but sometimes

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you have hard days and that's fine and you have bad vibes, whatever. But yeah, like I

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think our minds need to justify also if we have a lot of money by saying, well I'm just

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kind of special, you know, or I'm just kind of superior or I'm just really good at making

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sure I feel good all the time so that I get exactly what I want. And that is just also

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a huge lie. You didn't create the society. You have a complicity in, you know, participating

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in it but you didn't create this. You didn't do this to yourself and it's not your fault

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and you're not rich because you're better than other people. And I think deep down you've

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got to know that otherwise you wouldn't need to buy all that crap. Yeah, I think money

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doesn't make sense to our animal brains because it's not real and it's not found in nature

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and it has nothing to do with actually getting things in nature. So there's something about

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it that like when we look at the face of money it's like our animal lizard brains just like

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will not process its existence. It's just like, meh, meh. I don't know if that happens

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to you. All this to say, if getting money is not coming easily for you right now, and

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for a lot of us it isn't, I just want you to reach down deep inside and know that that

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has nothing to do with your worth in this world. Nothing at all. You are worth it and

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money has nothing to do with it. And also you're going to be okay. You're going to get

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more money someday. You're going to be okay. You're going to have your needs met. You're

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going to know how to put one foot in front of the other and take care of yourself in

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this world. And there are people that love you and will help you and just keep going.

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It's rough out there. Alright. Love you. Love you? Love you. Okay, bye.