1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,400
Jolene Jolene it's episode 16

2
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:27,120
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene.

3
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,280
Alright, welcome back to the show!

4
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:34,960
Where I have a different accent each and every time.

5
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,240
I don't even know which one this is.

6
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,640
I really don't.

7
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,700
This week we're going to be talking about the uniform.

8
00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:45,700
The uniform.

9
00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:51,680
The thing you wear so people know what you do.

10
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:56,380
Uniforms are interesting because they let people know at a glance what your role is

11
00:00:56,380 --> 00:01:02,400
in their lives without them having to ask or figure out.

12
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:03,400
You're part of a team.

13
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,000
If you're wearing a surgeon's cap.

14
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:12,480
I mean I see all these people on TikTok wearing these surgeon's slash doctor caps.

15
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,140
And I'm like, but you're also wearing a regular t-shirt.

16
00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:17,280
Why are you wearing the doctor cap right now?

17
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,680
You're clearly not on a shift.

18
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,600
You're in your Mazda.

19
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,080
And they're like giving medical advice.

20
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,520
What they put on the uniform and guess what?

21
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:31,200
The doctor cap makes them seem more believable at a glance.

22
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:36,000
If you don't start thinking critically, wait they're not wearing the whole uniform and

23
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,000
wait they're not actually in a hospital.

24
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:43,920
Wait maybe they're only wearing this uniform to manipulate me.

25
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,160
Which is another thing you can do.

26
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,560
I mean everybody says dress for the job you want right?

27
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:55,240
So like you know wearing the uniform of a successful employee could trick potential

28
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:59,880
employers into thinking you're the successful person they want.

29
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:03,760
I guess a lot of it works on a subliminal level.

30
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:04,760
You know?

31
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:09,280
I need to buy some pants, some suit skirts.

32
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,240
But I'm a comedian.

33
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,960
What's the uniform for that?

34
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:19,120
Well it used to be a plaid shirt and skinny jeans.

35
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:24,440
Now it's a graphic tee and not so skinny jeans.

36
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,040
Maybe a little blazer I think.

37
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,040
I don't know.

38
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:28,040
Depends.

39
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:29,040
Or a hoodie.

40
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,640
Depends on the comedian.

41
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:31,640
You know?

42
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,240
But pretty gender neutral stuff.

43
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:37,760
There's something about being a comedian, the uniform of a comedian.

44
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,400
Not saying for like your special.

45
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:43,560
You know if you're shooting a special you might want to wear something kind of glitz

46
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,840
and glam.

47
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:52,680
But like your average Joe Schmo comedian going to an open mic it's a graphic tee, jeans,

48
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:57,800
hoodie or jacket slash blazer.

49
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,320
Slash maybe hoodie with a blazer.

50
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:00,320
Could be fun.

51
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:01,320
Could be nice.

52
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:07,000
But yeah there's something about being an average comedian that kind of makes you want

53
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:11,840
to be in this gender neutral vibe.

54
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:12,840
Uniform wise.

55
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,880
Or maybe all uniforms are a bit, no they're not.

56
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:19,360
Flight attendants definitely not gender neutral the way they dress.

57
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,960
But let's say doctor that's kind of gender neutral.

58
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,600
I guess there's a lot of jobs, the uniform, well a lot of jobs.

59
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:26,600
Doctor and comedian.

60
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,120
I'm trying to think of even whether they're firefighter.

61
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:34,240
I don't think I've seen a woman firefighter.

62
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,040
I don't think I've ever seen one.

63
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,040
That's weird.

64
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,560
I've never thought of that before.

65
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:44,200
Police officer, kind of the same uniform for everyone.

66
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:50,080
Chef, similar, same, same uniform.

67
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:54,400
Yeah I mean he just puts you in a category that often transcends gender.

68
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:58,560
Maybe there's something good about that.

69
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:07,840
And you know uniforms are good for, or people love uniforms because we love to be able to

70
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:13,680
categorize people instantly and not have to think too hard about who they are and what

71
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:14,680
they're doing in our lives.

72
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:18,200
There's something very comforting about seeing someone, seeing what they're wearing and then

73
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,520
being like oh that's what you are.

74
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:26,160
You know like oh you're wearing one of those jacket vests and a white collared shirt under.

75
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,520
You work on Wall Street.

76
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:32,160
You know there's just something very, I don't know what it is that's so comforting about

77
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,880
categorizing people immediately.

78
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,200
I think it's just, it makes the world seem predictable.

79
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:42,960
It makes us know how we should be interacting with people, excuse me.

80
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:48,280
It makes us know where our place is in that interaction.

81
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:54,480
It's a very neurotypical way of looking at the world I guess now that I'm saying it all

82
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:55,960
out loud.

83
00:04:55,960 --> 00:05:02,400
Well and it just, you know our brains kind of can't process all the complexities of what's

84
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:08,680
going on at once around us because then we just live in utter chaos and we live amidst

85
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:14,000
an amount of details that's unprocessable by our conscious mind, our subconscious mind

86
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:20,360
maybe but our conscious mind, so weird that there's both.

87
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,480
So it's like it's a relief.

88
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,360
We don't need to process anymore.

89
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:25,360
You're the doctor.

90
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,360
You're the nurse.

91
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,000
You're the Wall Street guy.

92
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,000
You're the waiter.

93
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,000
You're the chef.

94
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,440
I don't need to think about you.

95
00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,000
It's not that you don't want to think of them as human.

96
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,000
Maybe you don't.

97
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,440
Maybe you don't.

98
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:45,400
Maybe in your life they're just what they call, what the kids are calling NPCs or background

99
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:52,560
actors because we just don't have the mental capacity to process that many people as human

100
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,600
as complex human beings with full lives.

101
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,600
We can try.

102
00:05:56,600 --> 00:06:01,440
I try a lot of the time especially if somebody behaves badly towards me.

103
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:09,000
My go-to in my mind always is just like, well they must be having a really fucked up week.

104
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:14,160
I don't know what's going on with them personally and this is just about them and whatever that

105
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:18,520
means, whatever the deep stuff that's going on in there that I don't know anything about

106
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:22,960
is and maybe sometimes that's not true.

107
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:23,960
Maybe it is about me.

108
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,880
Maybe they just don't like me.

109
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:26,880
I don't know.

110
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:31,640
But then again, maybe I look like one of their exes that treated them really badly and that's

111
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:33,720
why they just can't, they hate my face.

112
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,240
They hate my face.

113
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:41,040
But yes, I think that's another reason it's comforting because we just don't have the

114
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:45,080
energy to process beyond the uniform sometimes.

115
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,240
Especially if they're not going to be playing a larger role in our lives.

116
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:53,320
They're only playing the role of what the uniform identifies them as.

117
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:58,760
I think someone who's doing their job doesn't necessarily, or some people do, I don't know

118
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:03,200
like when I was waitressing some people would really love telling the people they were serving

119
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,200
their name.

120
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:08,120
You know, so then they could call them by their name and I really didn't like that.

121
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:12,120
I felt like my name was personal and it was off limits if I was going to pretend to be

122
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,160
your servant for an hour.

123
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:18,280
It made me uncomfortable because these people don't know me and I don't want them to know

124
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:26,800
my name because right now I'm performing a role that doesn't allow me to demonstrate

125
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,280
the depth and breadth of my actual humanity.

126
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,600
So why should they be able to use my name?

127
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:38,280
My name is about all of that, not about me being a waitress.

128
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,760
I mean, but that, I just, god I hate it.

129
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:46,760
I mean I loved a lot of things about being a waitress but also man, it was really dehumanizing.

130
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:50,840
But I guess every role to a certain extent is.

131
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:54,920
You can't be your entire self in your job.

132
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,760
That's most of what a job is isn't it?

133
00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:02,360
It's just putting aside the biggest part of every job, just putting aside everything else

134
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,720
in your life so that you can do the job.

135
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:08,680
And for workaholics that's a comfort.

136
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,880
They don't want to deal with what's really going on in their lives.

137
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:21,240
But for the rest of us it is painful and dehumanizing and difficult if something crazy is going

138
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,720
on in your personal life.

139
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:27,240
And why can't I just be a full human being wherever I go?

140
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,080
Why can't I do that?

141
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:30,080
Why?

142
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,080
Alright.

143
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:38,560
Politicians uniform, I think their uniform is just to have that little flag pin, right?

144
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,640
Sweatpants, the uniform of giving up.

145
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:51,040
I've worn this uniform many times for many years and let me tell you, giving up is relaxing.

146
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:56,280
Then how do you find a uniform for the unique identity that is you?

147
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:57,280
Or does that even matter?

148
00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:03,640
I mean for a long time I felt like what I wore shouldn't matter and it only obstructed

149
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:05,280
who I really was.

150
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:09,680
But in the end it did obstruct people from seeing who I really was.

151
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:15,520
If I wore sweatpants everywhere, no matter what you wear people are going to categorize

152
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:16,520
you.

153
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:21,200
There's kind of no escaping the fact that they see what you're wearing as your uniform

154
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,120
that day.

155
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,560
Just frustrating because it feels manipulative to be like, what category are they going to

156
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:28,560
put me in?

157
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:29,560
Okay, I'll wear these clothes.

158
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,840
It feels kind of sociopathic.

159
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:36,400
But when you think about it from the lens of like, they're going to categorize me no

160
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:41,880
matter what I wear so I better be deliberate about it, then you kind of have no choice

161
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,760
at a certain point.

162
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:50,040
So you know, I started wearing the jeans and the graphic tee and whatever.

163
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:53,200
And maybe that makes me a coward.

164
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,200
I don't know.

165
00:09:54,200 --> 00:10:00,400
It would be fun if I could find a uniform that really suited my unique identity but

166
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,280
at the same time didn't alienate the people around me.

167
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:09,920
I haven't really found that perfect, what do you call it, with the two circles?

168
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,920
The two circles thing.

169
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:12,920
You know where they overlap?

170
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:13,920
Venn diagram.

171
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:14,920
Alright.

172
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:19,120
Our brains are all working well today.

173
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:24,160
But we know how we think we look.

174
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:28,280
But we'll never know how we really look.

175
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,920
I mean because how important is it anyway?

176
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,920
You're not the one looking at it, right?

177
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,120
It's just for other people.

178
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,120
Or is it for you?

179
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:35,120
Because you know how you look.

180
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:39,440
You look to yourself in the mirror, it gives you confidence before you leave the house

181
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,120
that you know you look good right then.

182
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:45,840
I mean makeup really helps me with that.

183
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:53,320
And you know, when you do acting, like wearing certain shoes or certain costume elements

184
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:58,280
help you get into the character that they're that kind of person who would wear that.

185
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,800
That kind of helps you feel their vibe.

186
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:06,160
So in that sense, clothing can be a tool to develop your own identity.

187
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,880
Put something on, how does this make me feel?

188
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:14,800
Oh, maybe this kind of polka dot jumpsuit feels very emancipating.

189
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:20,600
But then we all know the experience of trying on the polka dot jumpsuit in the store, feeling

190
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:21,600
very emancipated.

191
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:31,000
But the second we wear it out socially, we feel vulnerable for making a bold choice.

192
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,960
But maybe that would get easier over time.

193
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:37,400
I mean it seems like, I mean I've always wanted to be, and I think other people can relate

194
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:42,840
to this, I've always wanted to be that old woman with the purple hair and the crazy clothes.

195
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:48,840
Because at that point, well I guess at that point some of your social circles died and

196
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:52,400
you just don't care what people think at all anymore.

197
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,200
So that's something to look forward to.

198
00:11:55,200 --> 00:12:03,200
But in the meantime, I hope you can find the correct Venn diagram overlap of your personal

199
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:26,600
identity and the uniform that you want the world to identify you with.