Jolene Jolene it's episode 16
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene.
Alright, welcome back to the show!
Where I have a different accent each and every time.
I don't even know which one this is.
I really don't.
This week we're going to be talking about the uniform.
The uniform.
The thing you wear so people know what you do.
Uniforms are interesting because they let people know at a glance what your role is
in their lives without them having to ask or figure out.
You're part of a team.
If you're wearing a surgeon's cap.
I mean I see all these people on TikTok wearing these surgeon's slash doctor caps.
And I'm like, but you're also wearing a regular t-shirt.
Why are you wearing the doctor cap right now?
You're clearly not on a shift.
You're in your Mazda.
And they're like giving medical advice.
What they put on the uniform and guess what?
The doctor cap makes them seem more believable at a glance.
If you don't start thinking critically, wait they're not wearing the whole uniform and
wait they're not actually in a hospital.
Wait maybe they're only wearing this uniform to manipulate me.
Which is another thing you can do.
I mean everybody says dress for the job you want right?
So like you know wearing the uniform of a successful employee could trick potential
employers into thinking you're the successful person they want.
I guess a lot of it works on a subliminal level.
You know?
I need to buy some pants, some suit skirts.
But I'm a comedian.
What's the uniform for that?
Well it used to be a plaid shirt and skinny jeans.
Now it's a graphic tee and not so skinny jeans.
Maybe a little blazer I think.
I don't know.
Depends.
Or a hoodie.
Depends on the comedian.
You know?
But pretty gender neutral stuff.
There's something about being a comedian, the uniform of a comedian.
Not saying for like your special.
You know if you're shooting a special you might want to wear something kind of glitz
and glam.
But like your average Joe Schmo comedian going to an open mic it's a graphic tee, jeans,
hoodie or jacket slash blazer.
Slash maybe hoodie with a blazer.
Could be fun.
Could be nice.
But yeah there's something about being an average comedian that kind of makes you want
to be in this gender neutral vibe.
Uniform wise.
Or maybe all uniforms are a bit, no they're not.
Flight attendants definitely not gender neutral the way they dress.
But let's say doctor that's kind of gender neutral.
I guess there's a lot of jobs, the uniform, well a lot of jobs.
Doctor and comedian.
I'm trying to think of even whether they're firefighter.
I don't think I've seen a woman firefighter.
I don't think I've ever seen one.
That's weird.
I've never thought of that before.
Police officer, kind of the same uniform for everyone.
Chef, similar, same, same uniform.
Yeah I mean he just puts you in a category that often transcends gender.
Maybe there's something good about that.
And you know uniforms are good for, or people love uniforms because we love to be able to
categorize people instantly and not have to think too hard about who they are and what
they're doing in our lives.
There's something very comforting about seeing someone, seeing what they're wearing and then
being like oh that's what you are.
You know like oh you're wearing one of those jacket vests and a white collared shirt under.
You work on Wall Street.
You know there's just something very, I don't know what it is that's so comforting about
categorizing people immediately.
I think it's just, it makes the world seem predictable.
It makes us know how we should be interacting with people, excuse me.
It makes us know where our place is in that interaction.
It's a very neurotypical way of looking at the world I guess now that I'm saying it all
out loud.
Well and it just, you know our brains kind of can't process all the complexities of what's
going on at once around us because then we just live in utter chaos and we live amidst
an amount of details that's unprocessable by our conscious mind, our subconscious mind
maybe but our conscious mind, so weird that there's both.
So it's like it's a relief.
We don't need to process anymore.
You're the doctor.
You're the nurse.
You're the Wall Street guy.
You're the waiter.
You're the chef.
I don't need to think about you.
It's not that you don't want to think of them as human.
Maybe you don't.
Maybe in your life they're just what they call, what the kids are calling NPCs or background
actors because we just don't have the mental capacity to process that many people as human
as complex human beings with full lives.
We can try.
I try a lot of the time especially if somebody behaves badly towards me.
My go-to in my mind always is just like, well they must be having a really fucked up week.
I don't know what's going on with them personally and this is just about them and whatever that
means, whatever the deep stuff that's going on in there that I don't know anything about
is and maybe sometimes that's not true.
Maybe it is about me.
Maybe they just don't like me.
I don't know.
But then again, maybe I look like one of their exes that treated them really badly and that's
why they just can't, they hate my face.
They hate my face.
But yes, I think that's another reason it's comforting because we just don't have the
energy to process beyond the uniform sometimes.
Especially if they're not going to be playing a larger role in our lives.
They're only playing the role of what the uniform identifies them as.
I think someone who's doing their job doesn't necessarily, or some people do, I don't know
like when I was waitressing some people would really love telling the people they were serving
their name.
You know, so then they could call them by their name and I really didn't like that.
I felt like my name was personal and it was off limits if I was going to pretend to be
your servant for an hour.
It made me uncomfortable because these people don't know me and I don't want them to know
my name because right now I'm performing a role that doesn't allow me to demonstrate
the depth and breadth of my actual humanity.
So why should they be able to use my name?
My name is about all of that, not about me being a waitress.
I mean, but that, I just, god I hate it.
I mean I loved a lot of things about being a waitress but also man, it was really dehumanizing.
But I guess every role to a certain extent is.
You can't be your entire self in your job.
That's most of what a job is isn't it?
It's just putting aside the biggest part of every job, just putting aside everything else
in your life so that you can do the job.
And for workaholics that's a comfort.
They don't want to deal with what's really going on in their lives.
But for the rest of us it is painful and dehumanizing and difficult if something crazy is going
on in your personal life.
And why can't I just be a full human being wherever I go?
Why can't I do that?
Why?
Alright.
Politicians uniform, I think their uniform is just to have that little flag pin, right?
Sweatpants, the uniform of giving up.
I've worn this uniform many times for many years and let me tell you, giving up is relaxing.
Then how do you find a uniform for the unique identity that is you?
Or does that even matter?
I mean for a long time I felt like what I wore shouldn't matter and it only obstructed
who I really was.
But in the end it did obstruct people from seeing who I really was.
If I wore sweatpants everywhere, no matter what you wear people are going to categorize
you.
There's kind of no escaping the fact that they see what you're wearing as your uniform
that day.
Just frustrating because it feels manipulative to be like, what category are they going to
put me in?
Okay, I'll wear these clothes.
It feels kind of sociopathic.
But when you think about it from the lens of like, they're going to categorize me no
matter what I wear so I better be deliberate about it, then you kind of have no choice
at a certain point.
So you know, I started wearing the jeans and the graphic tee and whatever.
And maybe that makes me a coward.
I don't know.
It would be fun if I could find a uniform that really suited my unique identity but
at the same time didn't alienate the people around me.
I haven't really found that perfect, what do you call it, with the two circles?
The two circles thing.
You know where they overlap?
Venn diagram.
Alright.
Our brains are all working well today.
But we know how we think we look.
But we'll never know how we really look.
I mean because how important is it anyway?
You're not the one looking at it, right?
It's just for other people.
Or is it for you?
Because you know how you look.
You look to yourself in the mirror, it gives you confidence before you leave the house
that you know you look good right then.
I mean makeup really helps me with that.
And you know, when you do acting, like wearing certain shoes or certain costume elements
help you get into the character that they're that kind of person who would wear that.
That kind of helps you feel their vibe.
So in that sense, clothing can be a tool to develop your own identity.
Put something on, how does this make me feel?
Oh, maybe this kind of polka dot jumpsuit feels very emancipating.
But then we all know the experience of trying on the polka dot jumpsuit in the store, feeling
very emancipated.
But the second we wear it out socially, we feel vulnerable for making a bold choice.
But maybe that would get easier over time.
I mean it seems like, I mean I've always wanted to be, and I think other people can relate
to this, I've always wanted to be that old woman with the purple hair and the crazy clothes.
Because at that point, well I guess at that point some of your social circles died and
you just don't care what people think at all anymore.
So that's something to look forward to.
But in the meantime, I hope you can find the correct Venn diagram overlap of your personal
identity and the uniform that you want the world to identify you with.