1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,340 You've already won. It's episode 41. Oh my voice is deep 2 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:25,660 Hello and welcome back to the rena 100 show a show where I rena 100 explore a theme 3 00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:29,860 every week and it's raining outside and 4 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:34,900 The theme this week is doing your best and right now doing my best 5 00:00:35,580 --> 00:00:42,500 Does not include changing the battery on the smoke detector in my room, so you're gonna hear some occasional 6 00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:45,900 Beeping in the background 7 00:00:45,940 --> 00:00:48,820 But don't worry. It's raining so the fire if there's a fire 8 00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:51,460 It'll be okay. Ha ha ha 9 00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:56,160 Um, but yeah, I'll change the battery soon. I just I can't do it right now 10 00:00:56,160 --> 00:01:01,260 I'm in my third trimester and I'm not getting on a ladder. It's just not gonna happen. Um 11 00:01:02,820 --> 00:01:04,820 So doing your best 12 00:01:05,540 --> 00:01:13,300 Doing your best never seems to feel like you're doing the best, right? I wonder if gold 13 00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:16,020 metalists 14 00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:21,580 Really absorb the fact that they're the best. I feel like even if I want a gold medal 15 00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:25,940 God the beep. I feel like even if I want a gold medal 16 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:32,620 I'd still be like yeah, but there's someone in the world who isn't in the Olympics who's better than me 17 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,260 Because that's the way my brain works 18 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:39,900 Because I just can will never be able to compute. I don't think 19 00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:43,740 Thinking that I'm actually the 20 00:01:43,740 --> 00:01:50,180 Best I mean I guess in athletics you really can measure who's better who's faster who's stronger? 21 00:01:53,060 --> 00:01:57,540 Why did a clothing store just text me that's so annoying anyways 22 00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:07,220 So because and also because I don't work in athletics I work in the arts I guess or entertainment and in in that world 23 00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:14,180 It's apples and oranges. There isn't a best. There's who do you like better? What kind of fruit do you like to eat? 24 00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:20,700 You know comedians are fruit and I am I don't know. What am I? 25 00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:27,060 What kind of fruit would I be I want to say kiwi, but then it sounds like I'm from New Zealand and I'm not I'm from Montreal 26 00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:29,060 so 27 00:02:29,260 --> 00:02:31,260 Montreal what a great town 28 00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:32,980 anyway, so 29 00:02:32,980 --> 00:02:39,860 Yeah, you can't really ever feel like you're the best at something artistic because hey, it's it's to taste 30 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,940 It's what are people like even the thing? 31 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:48,540 That everybody loves it might not age well, and then you look back and you're like wow 32 00:02:48,540 --> 00:02:55,300 We really want to see all of those earnest movies or whatever the public has buried culturally 33 00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:57,960 Realized everyone's forgotten about naked done 34 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:05,000 And I watched it again, but it's still funny. I mean there's you know stuff that's of its time, but the writing man 35 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,840 So yes, how do you feel like you're the best you can't how do you feel like you're doing your best? 36 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,160 Which is what we're talking about today now 37 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,720 it's hard because 38 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:22,120 First of all other people if you're measuring by other people's standards your best is never going to be the same as their best 39 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:25,640 right and a lot of the time my best 40 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,640 because I have a DD 41 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:34,040 My best of working on something or getting things done is nowhere near the best of the person 42 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:40,200 I'm talking to about it, and so of course they'll launch into well. Why don't you do this, and why don't you do that? 43 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:46,120 Why don't you make a schedule? Why don't you like make a day every month where you pay attention to this? 44 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,480 Why don't you? 45 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:52,680 Organize your life in such a way or this away or use this app that I've found so helpful 46 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,840 And it's like and that's when I just hit a wall, and I can't explain to them that like 47 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,000 Or I could explain, but nobody a lot of people don't 48 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:08,200 Acknowledge that like I don't have the capacity to do that and I've worked really hard to accept that about myself that 49 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,720 My best of working on something is going to fall short 50 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:17,240 Of what the general best is that makes people functional I would love 51 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:22,440 To be able to focus on one thing one day a month put things in the calendar and know they're going to happen 52 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:29,000 Organize my life in such a way that there's a rhythm to it that I can set goals that that I can always meet 53 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,720 But the fact is that there's a limit amount of things that I can get done 54 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:40,040 And a lot of the time a lot of the things that I want to get on I'm only going to be able to get done 55 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,520 About 70% of them, and I've had to just accept that about myself 56 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,520 That things are going to get forgotten 57 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:53,960 And I just need to know that I'm doing my best and my best doesn't have to look 58 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,000 Like someone else's best because 59 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:04,840 All I'm going to do is feel bad about myself and be frustrated and probably get less done if I start holding myself 60 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,320 to somebody else's 61 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,120 Unrealistic standards when I have a disability 62 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,640 So yeah, so coming to terms with that is is hard but in the end 63 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:17,480 It's like lowering your standards for yourself when you know you can't meet someone else's 64 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:24,040 Will increase your self-esteem and not decrease it, but it's just it's a very counterintuitive thing 65 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:30,760 Because you think I'll never get the self-esteem unless I'm functioning in a way that's impossible for me 66 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,760 But actually if you can just accept that you're never going to function 67 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:40,120 That way and you are who you are it actually that's actually how you get the self-esteem 68 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:46,920 So you have to let your abilities guide your expectations so that you can be proud of your work 69 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:53,240 You know what that was my best and I'm proud that I did my best and I know how much work I did on that 70 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,280 You know and I'm not saying don't push yourself 71 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,120 But if you're constantly following your own path 72 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:07,080 But I'm not saying don't push yourself, but if you're constantly falling short, it might be time to lower the bar and that's okay 73 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:13,640 It is important to push yourself though push yourself outside of your comfort zone, but not into 74 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,440 Trying to model the functional 75 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,560 habits of a different person 76 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,640 Yeah, so just be learning and growing but 77 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:32,600 Don't expect yourself all of a sudden to change from an apple to an orange because you're an apple and that's okay 78 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:41,160 And also what about not doing your best in relationships or doing your best in relationships 79 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:45,400 Doing your best in your friendships. Sometimes your best for a friendship 80 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:52,200 Won't be good enough and you won't be such a good friend, but you know that you did your best at the time 81 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:57,320 with what you were going through and that you have to put your own oxygen mask on first and 82 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,800 So sometimes your best isn't even good. It isn't even 83 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:03,400 nice 84 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:08,600 But it is your best and knowing that you did your best makes it I hope 85 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,320 Okay for you 86 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:17,240 And if you ever want to do better you can then self-reflect and examine 87 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,800 And hopefully grow from that experience and then even if you get better, you'll still know like 88 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,160 I'm better now and I have grown 89 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:26,360 but 90 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:31,480 I was doing my best at the time with what I knew and what 91 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,160 I was capable of and what I was going through 92 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:40,120 And that's okay. And if and if that person's really meant to be your friend 93 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:44,920 They'll understand that and if they're not then that's them doing their best 94 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:48,920 So I guess all I have to say is I would just encourage you to 95 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,960 I don't know what I would encourage you to I'd encourage you to 96 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:59,960 Let yourself know that most of the time you are doing your best. Maybe all the time you are doing your best 97 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:05,960 You're always trying to do your best. So why wouldn't it be your best? What makes something not your best? 98 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:12,120 I guess it's like if you consciously decide I'm not gonna do my best. I'm gonna half-ass this 99 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:15,400 But even then if you're consciously deciding not to do your best 100 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,680 There's got to be a reason for that which may in turn 101 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,320 Make it your best 102 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,040 Like I'm consciously deciding I'm going to 103 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:29,480 Uh not do great on this test because I'm tired 104 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,760 And I don't want to go all in 105 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:38,520 I don't know. Has it did people do that? I guess people maybe somebody has in the history of humanity 106 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:39,560 Probably 107 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:47,320 Um, but yeah, I I would just I guess in the sense of of being kinder to yourself maybe take the word best 108 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:53,080 Out of your vocabulary for a second, um, because it really comes from a place of 109 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,160 perfectionism 110 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,840 And perfection doesn't exist. I was gonna say it exists in mathematics, but 111 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:03,640 Oh, wait, is there like imperfect numbers? God. I don't know anything about math 112 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,640 but 113 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,640 Perfection doesn't exist 114 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:14,840 but perfection doesn't exist in the human realm of existing and running around like 115 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,880 best perfection no 116 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,280 there's only 117 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,960 What we can do what has happened what we're aiming for 118 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,040 that like best and perfection are 119 00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:33,560 Ideals that we can look up to like a pie in the sky 120 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:37,880 But really we're making the pie down here. It doesn't levitate 121 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,920 And we're gonna eat it and turn it into poop anyways 122 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,880 On that note 123 00:09:45,880 --> 00:10:07,880 I hope you have a great week