You've already won. It's episode 41. Oh my voice is deep
Hello and welcome back to the rena 100 show a show where I rena 100 explore a theme
every week and it's raining outside and
The theme this week is doing your best and right now doing my best
Does not include changing the battery on the smoke detector in my room, so you're gonna hear some occasional
Beeping in the background
But don't worry. It's raining so the fire if there's a fire
It'll be okay. Ha ha ha
Um, but yeah, I'll change the battery soon. I just I can't do it right now
I'm in my third trimester and I'm not getting on a ladder. It's just not gonna happen. Um
So doing your best
Doing your best never seems to feel like you're doing the best, right? I wonder if gold
metalists
Really absorb the fact that they're the best. I feel like even if I want a gold medal
God the beep. I feel like even if I want a gold medal
I'd still be like yeah, but there's someone in the world who isn't in the Olympics who's better than me
Because that's the way my brain works
Because I just can will never be able to compute. I don't think
Thinking that I'm actually the
Best I mean I guess in athletics you really can measure who's better who's faster who's stronger?
Why did a clothing store just text me that's so annoying anyways
So because and also because I don't work in athletics I work in the arts I guess or entertainment and in in that world
It's apples and oranges. There isn't a best. There's who do you like better? What kind of fruit do you like to eat?
You know comedians are fruit and I am I don't know. What am I?
What kind of fruit would I be I want to say kiwi, but then it sounds like I'm from New Zealand and I'm not I'm from Montreal
so
Montreal what a great town
anyway, so
Yeah, you can't really ever feel like you're the best at something artistic because hey, it's it's to taste
It's what are people like even the thing?
That everybody loves it might not age well, and then you look back and you're like wow
We really want to see all of those earnest movies or whatever the public has buried culturally
Realized everyone's forgotten about naked done
And I watched it again, but it's still funny. I mean there's you know stuff that's of its time, but the writing man
So yes, how do you feel like you're the best you can't how do you feel like you're doing your best?
Which is what we're talking about today now
it's hard because
First of all other people if you're measuring by other people's standards your best is never going to be the same as their best
right and a lot of the time my best
because I have a DD
My best of working on something or getting things done is nowhere near the best of the person
I'm talking to about it, and so of course they'll launch into well. Why don't you do this, and why don't you do that?
Why don't you make a schedule? Why don't you like make a day every month where you pay attention to this?
Why don't you?
Organize your life in such a way or this away or use this app that I've found so helpful
And it's like and that's when I just hit a wall, and I can't explain to them that like
Or I could explain, but nobody a lot of people don't
Acknowledge that like I don't have the capacity to do that and I've worked really hard to accept that about myself that
My best of working on something is going to fall short
Of what the general best is that makes people functional I would love
To be able to focus on one thing one day a month put things in the calendar and know they're going to happen
Organize my life in such a way that there's a rhythm to it that I can set goals that that I can always meet
But the fact is that there's a limit amount of things that I can get done
And a lot of the time a lot of the things that I want to get on I'm only going to be able to get done
About 70% of them, and I've had to just accept that about myself
That things are going to get forgotten
And I just need to know that I'm doing my best and my best doesn't have to look
Like someone else's best because
All I'm going to do is feel bad about myself and be frustrated and probably get less done if I start holding myself
to somebody else's
Unrealistic standards when I have a disability
So yeah, so coming to terms with that is is hard but in the end
It's like lowering your standards for yourself when you know you can't meet someone else's
Will increase your self-esteem and not decrease it, but it's just it's a very counterintuitive thing
Because you think I'll never get the self-esteem unless I'm functioning in a way that's impossible for me
But actually if you can just accept that you're never going to function
That way and you are who you are it actually that's actually how you get the self-esteem
So you have to let your abilities guide your expectations so that you can be proud of your work
You know what that was my best and I'm proud that I did my best and I know how much work I did on that
You know and I'm not saying don't push yourself
But if you're constantly following your own path
But I'm not saying don't push yourself, but if you're constantly falling short, it might be time to lower the bar and that's okay
It is important to push yourself though push yourself outside of your comfort zone, but not into
Trying to model the functional
habits of a different person
Yeah, so just be learning and growing but
Don't expect yourself all of a sudden to change from an apple to an orange because you're an apple and that's okay
And also what about not doing your best in relationships or doing your best in relationships
Doing your best in your friendships. Sometimes your best for a friendship
Won't be good enough and you won't be such a good friend, but you know that you did your best at the time
with what you were going through and that you have to put your own oxygen mask on first and
So sometimes your best isn't even good. It isn't even
nice
But it is your best and knowing that you did your best makes it I hope
Okay for you
And if you ever want to do better you can then self-reflect and examine
And hopefully grow from that experience and then even if you get better, you'll still know like
I'm better now and I have grown
but
I was doing my best at the time with what I knew and what
I was capable of and what I was going through
And that's okay. And if and if that person's really meant to be your friend
They'll understand that and if they're not then that's them doing their best
So I guess all I have to say is I would just encourage you to
I don't know what I would encourage you to I'd encourage you to
Let yourself know that most of the time you are doing your best. Maybe all the time you are doing your best
You're always trying to do your best. So why wouldn't it be your best? What makes something not your best?
I guess it's like if you consciously decide I'm not gonna do my best. I'm gonna half-ass this
But even then if you're consciously deciding not to do your best
There's got to be a reason for that which may in turn
Make it your best
Like I'm consciously deciding I'm going to
Uh not do great on this test because I'm tired
And I don't want to go all in
I don't know. Has it did people do that? I guess people maybe somebody has in the history of humanity
Probably
Um, but yeah, I I would just I guess in the sense of of being kinder to yourself maybe take the word best
Out of your vocabulary for a second, um, because it really comes from a place of
perfectionism
And perfection doesn't exist. I was gonna say it exists in mathematics, but
Oh, wait, is there like imperfect numbers? God. I don't know anything about math
but
Perfection doesn't exist
but perfection doesn't exist in the human realm of existing and running around like
best perfection no
there's only
What we can do what has happened what we're aiming for
that like best and perfection are
Ideals that we can look up to like a pie in the sky
But really we're making the pie down here. It doesn't levitate
And we're gonna eat it and turn it into poop anyways
On that note
I hope you have a great week