I mean to hit you like a ton of bricks, but it's episode 26.
Hello and welcome back to the Rina 100 Show, a podcast where I, oops sorry about that,
Rina 100 talk about whatever I feel like talking about this week.
Also here's my little plea, if you listen to this on iTunes, please rate and review
the podcast.
I think it helps get more people on board listening and then we could have a little
circle of friends and listen to the podcast.
But to the point.
Today we're going to be talking about letting it be.
Letting it be.
Like the Beatles song.
Let it be, let it be.
Wait, is that how that goes?
Let it be, let it be.
Too low for me.
Let it be.
Alright, you didn't come here to listen to me sing badly early in the morning.
Letting it be, why is it so hard to just let things be sometimes?
You know, because they're not the way we maybe want them to be.
Or maybe they're on their way to being the way we want them to be and then we need to
nudge them and push them so that they'll get to where we want them to be.
Either way, we have a trajectory, we have a projection, we have a plan, and we want
it to go according to plan.
Why is it so hard to accept reality?
You know why it's so hard to accept reality?
This is what I think.
I think it's hard to accept reality because we're scared that if we finally accept reality
as it is and we just say this is fine, then we're just going to be trapped in the exact
same scenario forever.
And there is some truth to this.
If you don't put effort into changing, nothing will change.
But a lot of the time.
You know, if you become too complacent.
So it's like we're not completely wrong on that front.
On the other hand, on the other hand, from my experience, sometimes deeply accepting
and becoming at peace with your reality is exactly what allows for change because it
puts you in a better vibe with when encountering reality and you therefore start seeing all
these new possibilities you didn't even realize were possible before.
Because oddly enough, there is a paradox in the sense that the more you deny reality,
the more you're actually trapped in it.
It's like, I don't know, it's like we end up doing exactly the opposite of what we want
to do.
It's kind of like how like focusing on the things you resent about people makes you adopt
the same qualities.
It's just one of those weird paradoxes about being human.
It's so strange that we could have such an intention for something and in following through
with it accomplish exactly its opposite.
How strange.
Why else can't we let it be?
Well, obviously, because we want to control.
We can't leave things to their own devices, then they won't do exactly what we want them
to.
And then we can't control it.
And if we don't control it, things can get bad.
And if things get bad, what if we can't handle it?
Like for example, they're picking up the trash outside and well, I can't control that.
I mean, I could close the window to make sure you guys didn't hear it, but I don't like
having the window closed so that's not gonna happen.
So that's me controlling my environment for my podcast.
I mean, yeah, I'm not gonna lie, part of why I do this podcast alone is to have total control.
And that's because I can't just let other people be sometimes.
Sometimes I don't want to have to jump over that hurdle of acceptance.
It's much easier to just isolate and do my own thing.
But we want to control things.
Why?
So that we can predict or we can live in the false reality thinking that we can predict
things when actually nothing is as predictable as we want it to be or think it should be.
Unless I mean, you've proven some kind of scientific theorem and you're doing experiments
in a controlled environment and you've proven something to be true.
And even then, maybe you messed something up or maybe there's an anomaly.
Maybe there's always an anomaly.
Once again, I'm not a scientist.
But why is it so scary when we can't predict what's gonna happen?
Because then we can't prepare for it.
We don't know what we're gonna be confronted with.
And especially if you have anxiety, you assume that if something has multiple outcomes, you
must prepare for the worst one and not even think about the best one lest you jinx it,
knock on wood.
So that's our frontal lobes, I guess.
I mean, I want to know what's gonna happen.
I think I've talked about this quote before about how when you're...I heard somewhere,
I don't know where and I don't know who said this.
So if you know, then reach out and send me a message because I really don't know.
But somebody said that life is like getting to a movie late before it started and then
having to leave early before you can see how it ends.
And that is anxiety inducing.
There's just...it's the slight awareness on our part that everything's just much more
chaotic and unpredictable than our brains need it to be.
And so we kind of construct this false reality where things can be contained and predicted.
But then again, some things can.
And even the paradox of that is very difficult to process.
Another reason it's hard to let things be, I think, is because sometimes when you let
things be, it means you need to let things go away.
Either through time, time passes and they get further away, or through just letting,
literally waving goodbye to the boat at sea.
Letting it go away.
And that's hard because you feel like it's gonna be a loss of connection.
It's hard to let go of something when you don't know what's coming next.
You're trying to jump from a lily pad to a lily pad, not fall in the pond, you know?
And that's hard.
And because it triggers something deep about accepting time, accepting the passage of time.
And of course, accepting the passage of time is difficult because inevitably accepting
the passage of time means accepting the reality of inevitable death.
And that's hard.
But why is it worth it?
Because it grounds us and it makes life worthwhile.
Can you hear how loud that garbage truck is?
Oh my god.
So much waste.
That's hard to accept too.
I mean, I think it's part of why we have such trouble...
Well, part of why we have such trouble accepting the fact that climate change is real.
Like on a visceral emotional level.
Because there's not a lot we can do, or it feels like there's not a lot we can do about
it.
So it's like if it's not something we can control or influence, it's like our brains
just don't want to process it because it's bigger than us.
Maybe our egos can't handle the fact that it's so much bigger than us.
Death is so much bigger than us.
Time is so much bigger than us.
And we know this because we can't control them.
Not really.
We can pretend.
We can try through nutrition.
Nutrition and exercise and Botox.
But eventually nobody escapes the cull.
The cull.
But ultimately letting it be...
Letting it be is the only way to let it be.
Okay, I'm just repeating a sentence.
But you can't truly be unless you let yourself.
That's hard too.
Trauma creates constraints because of the perception of certain actions or letting it
be isms to be unsafe, to be unacceptable, to be something that will put you in harm's
way.
A perceived predator, a perceived aggressor, a perceived something that won't let you be.
So how do you let yourself be in that circumstance?
I mean, obviously one of the first responses would be disassociation and living in a fantasy
world.
Which I guess can be fun.
But eventually if you want to let yourself be in the real world without fear of reproachment
or danger, you need to confront the restraints and determine that they are not actually real.
That everything is an illusion.
And that you were the answer all along.