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I mean to hit you like a ton of bricks, but it's episode 26.

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Hello and welcome back to the Rina 100 Show, a podcast where I, oops sorry about that,

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Rina 100 talk about whatever I feel like talking about this week.

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Also here's my little plea, if you listen to this on iTunes, please rate and review

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the podcast.

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I think it helps get more people on board listening and then we could have a little

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circle of friends and listen to the podcast.

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But to the point.

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Today we're going to be talking about letting it be.

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Letting it be.

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Like the Beatles song.

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Let it be, let it be.

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Wait, is that how that goes?

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Let it be, let it be.

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Too low for me.

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Let it be.

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Alright, you didn't come here to listen to me sing badly early in the morning.

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Letting it be, why is it so hard to just let things be sometimes?

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You know, because they're not the way we maybe want them to be.

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Or maybe they're on their way to being the way we want them to be and then we need to

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nudge them and push them so that they'll get to where we want them to be.

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Either way, we have a trajectory, we have a projection, we have a plan, and we want

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it to go according to plan.

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Why is it so hard to accept reality?

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You know why it's so hard to accept reality?

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This is what I think.

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I think it's hard to accept reality because we're scared that if we finally accept reality

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as it is and we just say this is fine, then we're just going to be trapped in the exact

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same scenario forever.

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And there is some truth to this.

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If you don't put effort into changing, nothing will change.

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But a lot of the time.

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You know, if you become too complacent.

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So it's like we're not completely wrong on that front.

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On the other hand, on the other hand, from my experience, sometimes deeply accepting

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and becoming at peace with your reality is exactly what allows for change because it

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puts you in a better vibe with when encountering reality and you therefore start seeing all

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these new possibilities you didn't even realize were possible before.

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Because oddly enough, there is a paradox in the sense that the more you deny reality,

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the more you're actually trapped in it.

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It's like, I don't know, it's like we end up doing exactly the opposite of what we want

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to do.

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It's kind of like how like focusing on the things you resent about people makes you adopt

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the same qualities.

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It's just one of those weird paradoxes about being human.

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It's so strange that we could have such an intention for something and in following through

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with it accomplish exactly its opposite.

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How strange.

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Why else can't we let it be?

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Well, obviously, because we want to control.

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We can't leave things to their own devices, then they won't do exactly what we want them

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to.

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And then we can't control it.

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And if we don't control it, things can get bad.

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And if things get bad, what if we can't handle it?

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Like for example, they're picking up the trash outside and well, I can't control that.

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I mean, I could close the window to make sure you guys didn't hear it, but I don't like

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having the window closed so that's not gonna happen.

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So that's me controlling my environment for my podcast.

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I mean, yeah, I'm not gonna lie, part of why I do this podcast alone is to have total control.

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And that's because I can't just let other people be sometimes.

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Sometimes I don't want to have to jump over that hurdle of acceptance.

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It's much easier to just isolate and do my own thing.

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But we want to control things.

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Why?

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So that we can predict or we can live in the false reality thinking that we can predict

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things when actually nothing is as predictable as we want it to be or think it should be.

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Unless I mean, you've proven some kind of scientific theorem and you're doing experiments

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in a controlled environment and you've proven something to be true.

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And even then, maybe you messed something up or maybe there's an anomaly.

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Maybe there's always an anomaly.

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Once again, I'm not a scientist.

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But why is it so scary when we can't predict what's gonna happen?

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Because then we can't prepare for it.

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We don't know what we're gonna be confronted with.

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And especially if you have anxiety, you assume that if something has multiple outcomes, you

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must prepare for the worst one and not even think about the best one lest you jinx it,

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knock on wood.

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So that's our frontal lobes, I guess.

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I mean, I want to know what's gonna happen.

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I think I've talked about this quote before about how when you're...I heard somewhere,

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I don't know where and I don't know who said this.

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So if you know, then reach out and send me a message because I really don't know.

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But somebody said that life is like getting to a movie late before it started and then

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having to leave early before you can see how it ends.

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And that is anxiety inducing.

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There's just...it's the slight awareness on our part that everything's just much more

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chaotic and unpredictable than our brains need it to be.

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And so we kind of construct this false reality where things can be contained and predicted.

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But then again, some things can.

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And even the paradox of that is very difficult to process.

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Another reason it's hard to let things be, I think, is because sometimes when you let

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things be, it means you need to let things go away.

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Either through time, time passes and they get further away, or through just letting,

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literally waving goodbye to the boat at sea.

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Letting it go away.

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And that's hard because you feel like it's gonna be a loss of connection.

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It's hard to let go of something when you don't know what's coming next.

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You're trying to jump from a lily pad to a lily pad, not fall in the pond, you know?

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And that's hard.

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And because it triggers something deep about accepting time, accepting the passage of time.

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And of course, accepting the passage of time is difficult because inevitably accepting

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the passage of time means accepting the reality of inevitable death.

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And that's hard.

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But why is it worth it?

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Because it grounds us and it makes life worthwhile.

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Can you hear how loud that garbage truck is?

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Oh my god.

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So much waste.

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That's hard to accept too.

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I mean, I think it's part of why we have such trouble...

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Well, part of why we have such trouble accepting the fact that climate change is real.

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Like on a visceral emotional level.

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Because there's not a lot we can do, or it feels like there's not a lot we can do about

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it.

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So it's like if it's not something we can control or influence, it's like our brains

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just don't want to process it because it's bigger than us.

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Maybe our egos can't handle the fact that it's so much bigger than us.

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Death is so much bigger than us.

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Time is so much bigger than us.

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And we know this because we can't control them.

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Not really.

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We can pretend.

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We can try through nutrition.

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Nutrition and exercise and Botox.

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But eventually nobody escapes the cull.

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The cull.

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But ultimately letting it be...

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Letting it be is the only way to let it be.

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Okay, I'm just repeating a sentence.

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But you can't truly be unless you let yourself.

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That's hard too.

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Trauma creates constraints because of the perception of certain actions or letting it

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be isms to be unsafe, to be unacceptable, to be something that will put you in harm's

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way.

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A perceived predator, a perceived aggressor, a perceived something that won't let you be.

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So how do you let yourself be in that circumstance?

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I mean, obviously one of the first responses would be disassociation and living in a fantasy

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world.

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Which I guess can be fun.

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But eventually if you want to let yourself be in the real world without fear of reproachment

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or danger, you need to confront the restraints and determine that they are not actually real.

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That everything is an illusion.

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And that you were the answer all along.