Hey, welcome back to the Shane and I show my name is Shane. My name is Max and I need a haircut.
Yeah, you do. I remember when you had long hair too. I was just thinking about that the other day.
Yeah, that was back when my hair had a lot more color in it.
Yeah. Didn't you donate at all or something?
Yeah.
You do need a haircut.
I do need a haircut.
You look like a dirty hippie.
I feel like a person with too much hair.
Yeah, you look like a person with too much hair. That's the beauty of just getting a two all the way around.
You could get a two all the way around.
Yeah, that's what I do.
But me, I'm not going to do that.
People are like, why do you still pay for it?
And I'm like, well, you know, because...
They do a good job.
They do better than you.
During the pandemic, I learned that I can't fucking cut my own hair.
Dude, it's harder than it looks.
Yeah. Anyway, this is the podcast about nothing.
That makes you think of something.
Hey, we got some sponsor stuff to get taking care of real quick.
We got a new sponsor for this podcast here.
We have Black Label Supplements.
Black Label Supplements.
I am actually...
People don't know this.
Maybe you don't know this in the podcast world.
Maybe you think I just live for fun, but I am actually a powerlifter.
A competitive powerlifter.
Man, as a competitive thrifter.
And Black Label Supplements is one of my sponsors for powerlifting.
And I asked them if it was OK if I threw them on a comedy podcast
to shout out their sponsorship for me.
And they said, no problem.
I don't think they know what they're in for.
But here we are.
So Black Label Supplements, they are third party tested.
If you need your pre-workout, you need your protein or what have you,
whatever you need, go to blacklabelsupplements.com.
Yeah. And use code Shane15 at checkout.
It's use that code anytime.
You don't go right now, but you want to go later on.
You get a little cash.
Go there.
Their stuff's good.
Go to blacklabelsupplements.com.
Use code Shane15 at checkout.
That's S, H, A, Y, and E and the number 15.
Do it.
And maybe I'm going to do and we'll do the coffee one later in the middle of the episode.
Oh, we're going to do a mid episode.
Fucking sponsored break.
Yeah. Very proper.
All right.
So all those people have passed on this for sponsorship.
You know what?
Yeah, fuck you.
Now we got two.
Yeah.
And one of them isn't even my own company.
Yeah, that said, if somebody's willing to pay me to do it,
I'll do an hour of just sponsorship.
Yes.
And you can also go to our website, www.shayneandyshow.com.
And we have a little thing there where they come up.
And if you want to donate to the podcast, a little thing comes up.
It says donate to the podcast.
You could donate three bucks.
Send us a little message and we'll give you a shout out on the show.
Hell, yeah.
You want to donate more?
You could donate more.
It's up to you.
We try to keep the thing as as inexpensive as possible,
but sometimes we have expenses.
There are expenses.
Yeah, it's not free to produce a reasonably OK podcast.
Reasonably OK podcast.
That's what we are.
You can for free produce a real dog shit podcast.
We've done that.
Yeah.
But to produce a reasonably OK one, it costs money.
Yeah.
I'm going to keep that to myself because every time I say that,
I think that's going to be the name of the episode.
I always change my mind.
I don't know.
I think a reasonably OK podcast.
What?
Why we had one episode I called an average podcast.
So.
Oh, yeah.
All right, that one's taken.
But let's move on.
Yes, let's get to the show.
Yeah, I was thinking about this.
You know, I was I was getting a little anxious coming over here.
I was like, what the fuck are we going to talk about?
Like, it's been a while.
Like, we last episode we did was like August 30.
It was was it really?
Yeah.
So it's been a while.
That's close to a month.
Yeah.
And before that, it was like three weeks.
So we're a little out of practice.
And I was like, what the fuck are we going to talk about?
And I was like, you know what?
It's a podcast about nothing.
Yeah, we don't have to.
We could just sit here and do this.
Yeah, the whole episode and not mention anything worthwhile at all.
And we will fulfill our need for what our show is about.
We will have we will have kept up our side of the.
But I got some things.
All right.
I got a few things that I've been thinking of.
All right, tell me.
I've been thinking about this for a while
because I saw a friend of mine posted on Facebook
because some people that I know still post on Facebook.
Yeah.
And I agree with them.
He posted something to the effect of how he did because Oasis,
the band Oasis is having a reunion.
Oh, look, oh, so we're cool and British from the 90s.
Yes.
Yeah.
And I don't get Oasis, dude.
Well, you're my Wonderwall, baby.
I don't get it, dude.
But I remember them being like everybody was like, oh, they're
so dangerous and there's some British.
And they're so dangerous.
And like their music was just like fucking boring.
They were kind of like to me, to me is like the British incubus,
even though incubus came after Oasis.
I think they came around the same time.
They came around the same time.
It was all that 90s crap.
And to me, they're very, very similar.
Yeah.
Their sounds are slightly different, but they're just
there's something very similar about them.
But it's just like, you know, I was trying to talk to somebody
about it the other day and they're like, how do you not get Oasis?
And I'm like, look, man, I like guns and roses was fucking.
You want to talk about like dangerous matched up to the image
like the music was fucking there guns and roses.
Guns and roses.
You didn't know it.
You didn't know if they were going to fucking make it to their second record.
I mean, guys were fucking.
They kicked the drummer out because he did too much fucking heroin.
Yeah.
During recording, like.
The music matched the fucking.
Yeah.
And the music was fucking good.
Yeah.
And like with the Oasis, it was like, it was like, dude, you know,
I wonder why maybe you see this guy fucking whining about his brother
and he's hitting his brother on the fucking stage.
And it's like, that's not dangerous, dude.
You were just an idiot for getting in a band with your brother.
Yeah, that's that's not dangerous.
There's just being a petulant little bitch because you don't get along with your brother.
Yeah, that's all that is.
Yeah, you just replace your brother and get a difference,
probably get a better singer.
Yeah.
I got to say, though, like the guy, the other brother, the guy,
no, no, I'll know whatever.
No, is it no or no?
Well, I can't remember.
Don't know.
Don't care.
His solo stuff is actually pretty good.
Good for him.
But like, I always just as a whole, like, I don't get it.
But they're they're getting back together.
They're getting back together for like a buttload of money
and people are now making bets on how many.
How many shows are they going to make?
Shows they're going to make it.
Look, if you honestly, like if somebody offered me a whole bunch of money
and they're like, all you have to do is just be with the guy you hate the most.
All you have to do is four shows a night, four shows a week
with the guy you hate the most for a couple of months.
For a couple months.
And and and you get and you get your million dollars or whatever.
You guys can even have a little argument on stage.
You know, OK, as long as you show up for every show, you know what?
I would do my utmost to make that happen.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I mean, it's British money, but it's still a buttload of money.
A pound is worth more than a dollar.
Yeah. So that's that's the one thing I don't get.
And then like the chains of day, everybody's flipping out
because James Addiction got into a fight on stage and it's like, dude,
it's like if I remember right, James Addiction didn't get along when they were big.
Yeah. Also, James Addiction, another band that I just don't get it.
Yeah. They're another band that I don't get either.
Yeah. I'm like, you know, they they they had a couple of fun songs, but that was it.
Yeah. I just I just don't get it. Yeah.
I agree. No, I agree.
I mean, I think maybe there are too much into the heroin, but I just never got it, dude.
Like I was just like, all right, I understand the Smashing Pumpkins.
They're actually pretty entertaining.
The Smashing Pumpkins are great, man.
And some of that 90s stuff, but like James Addiction is like,
I don't really care that they're back together and I'm not going to pay
a buttload of money to go see a band that's probably going to do one fucking
one more tour and then fucking hate each other, except they only did three stops.
And they got into a fight on stage.
Oh, oh, shit.
So they didn't they didn't make it.
And now they got to pay all these people back that paid them
that like paid them up front for the tour.
Good luck.
That's what happens when you cancel a tour.
That is what happens when you cancel a tour.
So there's that. I mean, we're not a music show, but, you know,
those are the couple of things that are going on in it.
Well, I mean, there's a whole, you know, baby oil incident.
The excuse me.
How do you not know about I don't know anything about a baby oil?
I know about the diddler, the diddler, the diddler.
Oh, my God.
I would just continue.
All right. You don't know about Diddy.
Oh, did he? Yes.
Like Sean Diddy come. Yes.
Puff Daddy. Yes.
Yeah. No, I heard he got in trouble for some shit.
Yeah, dude, he's going down.
He and a bunch of people had these freakout parties.
Yeah.
Where they just had these crazy fucking crazy
word yeasts or whatever. OK.
With underage women, underage dudes, whatever have you.
OK, yes. So did he's going down.
And when one of the raids they found over a hunt,
they found something like a thousand bottles of baby oil.
That is a lot of baby oil.
Dude, did he?
What are you doing with that?
A bunch of baby oil.
So much baby.
Also, because with baby oil, a little bit goes up very long.
Yeah. But dude, like,
that's like a storage unit full of baby oil.
That it have. Have you ever have you ever used baby oil for like,
like fun time stuff? Yes.
Yeah. First off, first off, you get you have to get over the fact
that it has baby in the name. Yeah.
And they found. Yeah.
But it's very effective stuff.
And a little bit goes a long way.
Yeah. And and there's other people that are involved in this.
Endowment, a thousand bottles over a thousand bottles.
Oh, my. Yeah.
That's so much. Yeah.
There's other people like he record.
They found recordings of all this stuff.
They found like not only like video, but audio.
Yeah.
So he would bug rooms of people at his house having sex.
So you're like just video, just audio, just audio.
And so there's a lot of video.
But dude, there's like people that big, pretty famous people that are
like fucking involved in this and are like going down.
How do you not know about this whole case?
I mean, I heard something about puffed daddy getting in trouble and.
Yeah, he got it right. He got arrested.
Dude, he got arrested by the feds.
So they, you know, it's a pretty fucking big deal.
Yeah. Well, I heard about it and I don't care enough to look into it.
And I just. Either do I.
And it was all over the place and everybody was talking about it.
Yeah. I figured it is just some other rich, powerful guy who got in trouble
because he let his dick make decisions.
And you're not supposed to let your dick make all the decisions.
He didn't. He didn't more than make his dick make decisions.
Well, it sounds like what got him in trouble was letting his dick make decisions.
But yeah, man, he's going down.
And he he there's a bunch of other people that are pretty famous
that are like wiping all their shit clean of them.
They're trying to get there.
But like they were there.
Yeah, everybody knows they were there.
They could fight shit. You delete shit. They could find it.
And this is the feds, man.
That means they got a fucking case.
Yeah. They denied him bail. Right.
So he was like, I'll put up 50 million dollars.
I'll put up two of my mom's houses.
So I'll put up two of my mom's houses.
I'll fucking wear an ankle bracelet.
And then the judge was like, no, you're going to sit in jail.
Yeah, not only is he sitting in jail,
he's like sitting in like one of the toughest jails in Brooklyn.
OK, well, I mean, that's probably what he gets for fucking letting
his dick make all these decisions.
Totally your dick decisions.
Yeah, you know what the, you know, dude, that's like that's just I mean,
you can't like, I mean, it's pretty it's pretty like freak off parties.
You know what I mean?
Like he had freak off parties.
So yeah, I guess you're right.
He was letting his dick make decisions.
Yeah, look, if you're going to.
OK, first off, like no judgment if you're going to have sex parties
where everybody is a fucking consenting adult.
I think that's the key is consenting.
Yeah, I don't think these people are consenting to having video and all that shit.
Right, right.
So it's one thing if you're doing a party with consenting adults
and you're not secretly recording shit, right?
It's another thing if any of those if any of those like particulars
the consenting the adult, the recording for on secret, if that happens,
if that's not good, you fucking Jesus fuck, did he?
I mean, what the fuck?
He's getting he's getting charges like one of the charges is like racketeering,
dude, because he would blackmail people after he had the tapes.
He would fucking blackmail people.
So we got like we got like an Epstein situation almost.
Yes, yes, because that was his deal. Yeah.
Well, fuck, man. Yeah.
Let's so I know what's going to happen now.
I know it's going to happen.
Yeah, we go to a dark place because I was going to keep this light.
Well, can we just say we know what's going to happen?
Because I know what's going to happen to.
I also know it's going to happen.
And we don't need to say it, I don't think.
Well, I'm going to say it anyway. I'm going to say it anyway. Go ahead.
Look, a lot of a lot of fucking details are going to come out.
And then suddenly they'll fucking like nobody will talk about them.
At least nobody like, you know, who matters will talk about them.
And then shit will get swept under the rug.
And, you know, a few folks will have to fucking hide their faces for a couple of years.
But all the fucking all the fucking important people are going to get away
with going to Diddy's rape parties.
Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen.
The feds have a fuck.
They have they have a pretty fucking good case. Yeah.
Then I don't think I think Diddy's going to pay the price.
Yes, they oh, no, Diddy's definitely going to pay the price.
Right. Just like Epstein paid the price. Right.
Did you you're talking you're talking about people associated with the freakout parties?
Yeah, the like the the important people who were associated with that.
They hide their face for a little while. They're going to get away with it.
Yeah. Diddy might just like and I'm doing air quotes now,
he might commit suicide in his cell and beat himself up in the process.
You know, just like Epstein. Yeah. I don't think.
Hey, man, it's just weird.
Like if you get rich, the thing with rich people,
I was thinking about this, dude, the thing with rich people is like,
do they just get bored and they're just like, I got all this money now.
Why don't I just have freak out?
Why don't I just have fucking orgies?
I could rent an island and have orgies on an island,
which by the way, of and by itself would be cool.
Yeah. But if you're Epstein, you can buy the island.
Yeah. And as long as everybody's consenting, right?
Everybody going to the adult and adult and everybody going to the island is like,
OK, this is what we're going for.
You sign a little NDA or whatever and you're like, OK, yeah,
it's not going to leave the island.
Right. We go and have fucking crazy sex and it'll be good.
Mm hmm. Yeah.
That's OK. Yes.
But when you do it in secret and you're like, oh, by the way,
you remember that party you were at last week at my house?
Yeah. At my island.
Now, that that said, depending on where you are and how you use it,
it's not illegal to fucking record people.
Right. But it is if you're using it to blackmail.
It is if you're using it to blackmail.
Which is where the racketeering charge comes from.
Yeah. Apparently, it's a pretty it's pretty deep as far as racketeering goes.
Well, sure. Yeah.
So but I was I was talking to I was talking to a friend of mine
who works in the adult industry.
And she was saying it's like she was saying it's like, OK,
like we know when we go to set or whatever, like it's consenting.
You sign paperwork and all that, you know, you're being filmed or whatever.
If I go someplace, if consenting adults are doing that, it's OK.
Yes. But if you're recording it in secret, that's not OK.
That's not OK.
Yeah. She's like, and it's weird.
It's it's just weird when you get that much money and you're just you're.
I don't know if you're just like I'm bored, like I have a wife and four kids,
but I'm bored.
I have a theory of this.
You played on me. All right.
A lot of times people seek money
because they're trying to find fulfillment.
Right. And, you know, that's kind of a basic.
If I have my million dollars, I can take my nice vacation and get fulfillment.
Right. Right.
But then then then sometimes people like Puffy, maybe will get all that money
and still be unfulfilled because it turns out money can't buy love or whatever.
Right. And so they just keep pushing the boundaries further and further
looking for that fulfillment.
They can never find it.
Until eventually they've pushed it to the point where they get rated by the feds
and all the shit goes down and and yeah.
And dude, they're talking like you stuff since the mind is, bro.
Of course, that was when Puffy was his most puffy.
That was that was back when he was still puff daddy.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So there's that.
Yeah. The second the second he went P. Diddy,
he wasn't even cool anymore.
No, he wasn't.
That was when you know he got the money and it wasn't enough.
So he's like, I'm going to reinvent myself.
I'm going to be I'm going to be the only person I ever reinvented themselves
to be cooler was Prince Prince.
Yeah. When he was just a symbol because he was mad at the record company.
Yeah. He was fucking taking a stand on principle.
Yeah. Yes.
But that's the only person I've ever seen in the music industry that's been like,
yeah, I like I'm taking a stand.
I master everything.
I play every instrument.
Why am I giving them money?
Yeah. So here's my new name.
It's a symbol.
It was a symbol. Yeah.
Try to market this. Yeah.
But there is that.
And then and then the other thing is this is kind of a weird episode, I guess.
But the other thing is I've been watching kind of watching a few friends,
a couple of friends of mine just kind of go through some shit.
Kind of like one guy got caught up in the ditty thing.
No, didn't get caught up in the ditty thing.
It's this is I'm trying to get away from that.
So it's not such a dark episode.
But maybe this is going to make it a dark episode, too, because like, you know,
I've watched that I've watched one friend of mine just like walk away from his life.
Like what like kids off himself or just fucking go on a walk about something.
Just fucking walk away.
Huh.
I don't want to get into detail.
I don't know. I mean, I'm kind of trying to keep it general, but just like,
you know, I don't know the circumstances or anything like that.
I just know like he was just like all of a sudden one day, he's like, oh, yeah, by the way,
by the way, I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah.
All right. So I'm going to move to the city or whatever.
And it's just like it's weird.
I guess watching friends go through, I guess, what would be a midlife crisis?
Right? Yeah.
Because I feel like right now, like I'm not I
there's no need for one for me, right?
But watching other people, it's just like, dude, I had mine when I was 18 somehow.
Yeah, but it's coming again, dude.
I'm telling you.
You're telling I'm not quite 40 yet.
Yeah, it's going to hit.
It's going to hit.
You're going to hit.
It's going to hit.
And you dudes do one or two things.
You either get all crazy and you try to buy sports cars.
I got a camper in a truck.
Yeah. But then another dude's regressed to like their fucking 15 year old selves.
Yeah, they fucking buy video games.
They fucking that's the new trend, right?
That's the new thing I see guys doing that hit like.
Well, it's it's it's a lot easier to afford than a new fucking sports car.
They buy video games or they and they fucking start acting like a 15 year old
when they're like 40, 45, which I guess is more a little less harmless
than just walking away from your life.
Yeah, definitely.
I mean, I got an Xbox last year, but I almost never touched the thing.
Yeah, I thought I would get along with you.
It's just weird watching people and I'm trying not to do this because like I don't know.
Like I said, I don't know the circumstances.
Maybe it was he was just in a horrible put it was a horrible marriage
through the from the beginning or whatever.
You know what I mean? Maybe at a stroke and and I don't know.
The circuit as a person observing, I'm going to say this as a person observing.
It's just when you think somebody has it all together
because you like look at some people and you're like, man, that guy just has it all together.
Yeah, it all. Yeah.
And then you see something like that and you're like, oh, I guess maybe not.
Yeah, that's kind of my point.
OK, right?
You never judge a book by its cover, I guess.
Well, maybe that's what happened to Diddy.
Except instead of walking away from everything, hey, instead of walking away from everything,
it's like, you know what? I'm just going to have freak parties now.
I'm just going to have freak parties.
Yeah. How do you explain that?
Shit, your kid, he's got like four kids, dude.
I bet he has more than that.
He does. Yeah, we don't know about it.
But so yeah, there's that.
I don't know. You got anything else?
We haven't done this in a while.
So all right.
Well, let me let me let me try to survey where we've been.
We went, did he?
Yes, to Epstein, back to Diddy.
We did the whole British.
We did the British thing.
We did the whole James Addiction thing.
You know, it's kind of.
Yeah, man, I had more to say, but, you know, let's just start shooting the shit, I guess.
Yeah, let's what it is.
So people want to know why we haven't been recording on a regular basis, I guess.
That's the other thing that's been coming up.
A lot of it is I've been doing a lot of camping and a lot of camping.
Yeah, and and also just not structuring structuring my time back in town very well.
Right. So a lot of that's really on me.
Right. Yeah.
So it's not really my fault.
No, it's not. It's not Shane's fault.
It's Max's fault.
That's the thing about when you do a show like this.
So like I I was thinking about it the other day.
I was thinking about it like I could go get guests.
But I mean, I don't think the show would keep the same thing that we have
if we started bringing in guests.
I just don't what we'd have to try it.
Where it's not like we have one guest one time
and now we're committed to doing guests forever.
Right. Right.
Hey, so if you're out there and you want to be a guest in our show.
Oh, yeah. Send us an email. Send us an email.
If you want to talk about nothing, I'm not.
We won't interview you about anything that you got going on.
We'll talk about nothing like we are right now. Yeah.
But if you want to talk about something, I'll be happy to have that.
Excuse me.
I'll be happy to have your something as a topic within reason.
Within reason.
But I can't guarantee I'll stick to the topic.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, let's see if it works, because I've tried telling people
we're going to have guests on before.
And it's like part of it's my fault because I don't want to fucking book people.
Like I'm too lazy. OK.
Like people are like, oh, yeah, send me an email about your downloads and shit.
Maybe I'll be on your show and I'm like, I want to do that.
Yeah, nobody.
Our fucking metrics are not going to get anybody to.
I mean, we're pretty.
Hey, we're pretty fucking solid on our metrics.
We're a show that's been around for as long as we are.
Oh, yeah. That's the one thing I know is that, you know,
we have pretty solid downloads.
All right. Yeah.
We're not in the crazy, like, you know,
thousand downloads per episode category, but our downloads are steady.
And they're like it's we're in the 500 download range pretty much every episode
we release, so it's steady. Nice.
You know, and it's our downloads are pretty good.
Our engagement's good.
You know, people like to show.
Yeah, we don't get too many bad reviews.
Yeah. In fact, I don't remember getting a bad review.
I mean, in the beginning, we got a few.
I believe it because of our sound.
Oh, yeah. No, our sound was well, that was back when we that was back when we were
trying to do it for free.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So if you're one of those people that are if you're doing a podcast,
like actually doing an audio podcast, like an old school podcast,
make sure you get a couple good microphones, get some of the record on.
Don't use your phone.
That's the mistake we made.
Do they do non audio podcasts now?
They do YouTube.
To me, to me, it's just.
You mean videos? Yeah, video.
Yeah, yeah. No, people people do videos too. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
But that's like the big that's the big thing they're trying to get people
more people to do is video and I'm maybe it's just a rubble in me, but I'm just
like our show has been audio from the beginning.
Our show, this version of the show.
Yeah, the audio version of the show has been audio from the beginning.
Yes.
We did a short video show for years before we did this.
And we did.
We did Sean and I before that.
Yeah. But I mean, it's it's one of those things where it's like,
I think you could tell a pretty good story for audio.
Like even though we're a podcast about nothing and I we're just getting into
this now, I don't know why we're going here, but we're going here.
This is what happens.
Sometimes I think for our podcast about nothing, we tell a pretty good story
about nothing. Absolutely.
We have a pretty good conversation every time we record.
Yeah. And listen, I'm not what, you know, we say we have a podcast about nothing
that makes you think of something and it doesn't mean that we don't talk about
worthwhile stuff. Yeah.
Because there, you know, there's there's an idea that, you know,
in a way, everything is important and because of that, nothing is important.
So we're going to be talking about something that's important.
So we talk about nothing.
Yes. And every once in a while, you'll listen to an episode of ours
and you'll be like, huh, I learned something from that.
Yeah. And we maybe you learned from this episode that you should not have
freakout parties. You should not have freakout parties.
And if you do have, if you do stuff like that, make sure it's consensual.
Uh huh. Make sure it's consensual.
Yeah. No, you can you can absolutely host orgies.
Just stay within the the rules of both the law and basic decency.
Yes. Yeah.
And don't try to blackmail people afterwards.
I think that that's staying within the rules of the law and basic decency.
I was just having an image in my head in my in my head, like not even like you
have your one of your you have an orgy at your house, right?
Yeah. Suburban fucking orgy, right?
Mm hmm. You have your neighbors over.
You don't tell them you're you pull a ditty.
You don't tell them you're fucking recording.
And three days later, you just go to your neighbors.
He's like out blowing the water.
Or just start knocking on doors. Just go out there and be like, Hey, by the way,
there's a new HOA.
There's a new HOA election coming up.
Yeah, I'm going to need your vote.
I'm going to need your vote.
Otherwise, this video of you getting not getting down.
Yeah, here I'm texting you a little clip of something.
It's going to go it's going to go it's going to go live on Tiktok or whatever.
Yeah, I'm just going to post it.
But, you know, if you want to if you want to, you know, not do that,
but just vote for me for the HOA.
Yeah, Max for HOA.
Max for HOA.
HOA President Max.
HOA President.
And you know what?
I'll make I'll let you even paint your house whatever fucking color you want.
As long as it's within the new rules that I set in the HOA.
And we'll have more fucking orgies at my house.
Maybe. Maybe.
I mean, if you dare show up.
If you dare show up.
And again, what have you got to lose?
I've already got this spicy vid.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, how would your wife feel about that? Yeah.
Well, I mean, I guess your wife was there too.
But still, yeah, she didn't know you were upstairs in that other room.
Yeah. So.
But yeah, could you imagine if you're just like a regular HOA dude and you.
That'd be a hell of a way to take control of the HOA.
Right.
Fucking just invite the whole neighborhood over.
I do it for a fucking orgy.
And fucking Zome without them knowing about it, then fucking Blackville
and get yourself a racketeering job.
That's how you do it in suburbia.
Yeah.
That's how you get an HOA racket.
That's how you get a racketeering charge in suburbia.
Yeah.
Fucking bribe your way onto the HOA presidency.
HOA presidency, man.
What the fuck does an HOA even do?
They associate the homeowners.
Yeah. But do they do like can they tell you like what you can and cannot have in your house?
Because there's not not not not there's this lady on TikTok
that keeps putting up HOA videos of this guy coming up.
And I think it's a fucking and I'm starting to figure out that it's a fucking she it's made up.
It has to be made up because there's fucking they just I just watched the video
where he was just like the HOA guy was like, hey, look, we just passed this
into bylaws and you weren't at the meeting.
So it's fuck you.
But we now have pet charges say $50 for every pet that you have.
$50 for every pet you have in your house.
That's a fish, whatever.
You need to register with the HOA.
Because the HOA.
Yeah, HOA needs money.
And I'm starting to think that but it's in Utah, too.
So look, look, there there are sometimes when a neighborhood is built
and an HOA is set up, there are different rules of what that HOA can and cannot do
and how it operates.
But you guys don't have an HOA. Do you?
Oh, God, no, no, we would not have moved here if there was an HOA.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't I don't need somebody telling me what I can and cannot do on my own property.
Right. See, that doesn't make sense to me.
It's like, how could they tell you?
Oh, you can't have fucking that kind of light bulb.
On your porch light, because it's too bright.
Yeah, but they can.
Yeah, that's stupid to me, though.
Yeah. Well, I mean, that's what you signed up for.
Right. So I see.
I think these videos, I think the videos are fake now.
Have you seen them?
No.
The guy always going to the front door with the doorbell cam on
and the lady's always like, what do you want now?
And he's always like, look, you cannot have fucking black cards in this neighborhood.
The HOA voted on it.
You can't have black cards and stuff like that.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, that that also it's possible that this is true.
But this guy is some some dude who somehow talked his way.
Maybe he used blackmail.
He had like a freak party recorded everybody.
Somehow he became president of the HOA.
Yeah.
And now he thinks he's like the boss of the neighborhood.
Yeah. Which I really doubt is the case.
Right. It's it's also in Utah, too.
So that's the other reason.
Yeah, I think it might be true.
Utah's weird, man.
Utah's a weird place.
It is.
But they could have freak up parties for their HOA.
They absolutely in Utah.
Yeah. Oh my God.
Do you know, do you have any idea how I'm not going to get into?
Oh, I know, dude.
I'm not going to get into that.
I know, I'm just.
I have an actual experience of hooking up with the Mormon girl
when I was like 19 years old in Utah.
And running out of it and jumping out of a second story bathroom window
in the middle of winter because her dad pulled up.
Oh, God damn. Yeah. Yeah.
Don't want to get caught there.
Yeah.
Mormon girls. Freaky.
Yeah, Mormon girls.
So they could have freak out parties.
They absolutely could have freak out.
And like they have.
No, I'm just not going to go where I was going to go.
So I could see this guy working his magic to get into the HOA presidency,
just like we talked about. Yeah.
And maybe that's how he's getting because some of it's weird, dude,
because there was this one video I watched the other day
and I'm so invested in this point that I'm just like,
now I got to figure out if it's fake or not.
OK.
She she got delivery and the like the Amazon driver just left.
The guy comes two seconds later.
And he's like, hey, this package was just dropped off.
We can't have packages on the on your porch for more than five minutes.
Or are you getting fined?
The HOA voted on it.
I think that's crazy.
Yeah. Yeah.
I would I do that.
I can never I would never live in a neighborhood with an H&O.
A some HOA's are chill, but just generally.
And I think some people really like living in a neighborhood with an H&O.
A right.
Because there are people who have like very particular expectations
of the things around them. Yes.
So an HOA suits them quite nicely.
Right.
Because every house has to have a lawn that's kept green
and can only be painted certain colors or whatever.
Right. That makes their brain feel better.
Yeah. I guess so.
I would I would imagine so.
I think we're going to wrap this episode up.
Yeah, why not?
Well, let's let's get something bright in here.
Well, yeah. Something.
Sherry. What do you got?
Something bright, something cheery.
Well, you want you want me to have?
Yeah, I guess I brought it up.
I guess I don't have any bright and cheery.
Yeah, no, we've been we've been kind of a bummer this week.
You think kind of a bummer this episode?
All right. All right.
Here's one. Summer's coming to an end, but Halloween.
But Halloween's coming up.
Also, you know, that reminds me, I got a I got a story that's going to brighten it up.
All right. Do it.
I'm going to talk about a work thing.
All right. With a client of mine.
OK. He's just a fucking funny dude.
All right. Just just just keeping in mind,
last time you brought up a client of yours, we had to cut that episode entirely.
We also did one about the guy that Uncle Kevin and the onesie, and that was fine.
All right. All right.
This is fine. This is fine.
OK. He's a big dude, right?
All right. He's like he's like my height and he's big.
He's like he's like three.
He's almost two hundred and like 95 pounds.
That's a big guy.
So we go walking to help him lose weight.
We go walking.
We go walking at Spring Lake. All right.
He loves when we're out there.
He loves trying to find.
He loves walking up to the Rangers and asking him what time the garbage truck comes.
Oh, he likes the garbage truck.
Yeah. He has a thing with garbage truck and the mail truck.
Hey, when I first off, I drive a mail truck and they're fun.
But secondly, when I was a kid, I loved the garbage truck.
Right. We were at the other.
We were out a couple of Fridays ago last Friday.
We were out.
And the other thing he does is he'll walk up to people and he'll do this
just right out the bat.
And I'm not going to imitate him
because I don't know if that people are going to find that rude or not.
But here's what he says.
He you'll be walking by him and he'll be like, what's your name?
Mm hmm.
What's your dog's name?
Mm hmm.
Where's your wife?
Mm hmm.
And sometimes in the last time, this last time we did that,
I'm like, I'm usually 90 percent of the time everybody's fine.
They play along with them.
Yeah. This last time, one time this last time,
I had to go use the restroom and I come out of the restroom and he's talking to this guy.
And he's like, he's on the where's your wife?
He's like, where's your wife?
And he's like, I'm gay. He's like, where's your husband?
I mean, he's like, I don't have a husband.
He's like, why?
And I'm like, oh, dude, you just.
I'm like, Dave, sorry, his name's not Dave.
I was like, dude, you can't ask people where their wife or their husband is.
That's a little too.
It's a little too personal.
Like, it's OK to walk up to somebody like, what's your name?
But like, here's that he doesn't like this.
He'll be like, what's your name?
They'll tell him his name and then he won't say anything about him.
Like, he won't say my name, my name's so and so. Right?
Right.
He'll just start asking a question.
He'll go into the where's your wife?
Where's your dog? Yes. Right.
And then they'll be like, what's your name?
And they'll tell him his name.
And sometimes if you let him sit there, if you let it like this one guy,
he was just like, he just let him he just let him keep going.
He's like, where's your where's your husband?
He's like, I don't have a husband.
He's like, why? And he's like, I don't know.
I'm just I don't I'm not dating anybody right now. Why? Yeah.
Yeah. I'm like, we got to go, man.
He's like, he's like, why does man have husband and no wife?
I'm like, did he tell you why?
And he's like, makes no sense.
OK. He's like, makes no sense to me.
I'm like, it's all right, Dave. It's all right, so and so.
I'm trying not to say his name.
All right.
But it's funny to me when people react to him.
And this guy was just he was because he had this dog
and he kept asking about the dog and he was like,
do you want to pet him?
He's like, no.
And the dog got closer.
He's like, dogs getting too close.
He's like, no, pet the dog. He's like, no.
It's funny sometimes.
I guess you just have to be there.
But I'm trying to brighten it up, man.
It's a funny, innocent story.
It's not see it's not dark.
Yeah. Yeah. OK.
There's nothing wrong with that. OK.
Guy asked questions.
Sometimes people don't always like. All right.
I don't know, man, I'm trying to do something.
Well, it's very, very good.
I appreciate the effort. I applaud.
But yeah, man.
And so if you're out and about on your mail on your mail
tracking and you're you're in the neighborhood,
you might see a guy who's definitely not named Dave.
Yeah.
How about his name is Junior?
We'll call him Junior.
All right, Junior.
We need to make up a name for him.
I feel like it's a little late at this point.
But I said his name's not Dave.
OK, cool.
His name is Junior.
His name is Junior. All right.
That's his real name.
Real name is Junior. OK.
The guy named Junior comes up to you
and starts asking you a bunch of questions.
I'll be like, hey, do you know a guy named Shane?
Yeah.
My roommate convinced him.
Yeah. My roommate convinced him
that he has eight sisters and eight brothers.
Uh-huh.
And every time I work with him, every time I work with him,
every time he asks me how my roommates,
eight brothers and sisters are.
So I make up names and they make up little stories.
Hell, yeah.
And then it will ask me again.
One of the brothers is a is a is a is a is a.
That's a rodeo.
Oh, what are they called?
A rodeo or.
Yeah. He's how they're called.
Like when they ride the bull, a bull rider.
A bull rider. Yeah.
And he's like the most famous.
I made up this whole story about how he's like
the most famous bull rider in Oklahoma.
Oh, that's a big bull riding state.
It's the best thing I could come up with off the top.
Oh, that's good. I like that.
All right. And.
And he asked me about that, brother.
I made up a name.
His name is Pete.
The bull rider.
Pete, the bull rider.
Bull riding Pete.
And he'll ask me.
He's like, how's Pete?
And I'm like, you know, Pete's doing pretty good.
He got thrown off the bull, though.
The other the other week, he's got injured.
He didn't make it the six seconds.
Yeah.
He got injured pretty bad, but he's going to be OK.
He's going to, you know, he's going to bounce back.
Bullhorn went right through his thigh, but it'll be better.
I've made up stories about all these people, right?
Yeah. Just he'll ask me about them.
And I'll just keep making stuff.
Just keep making stuff up.
That's the way to do it, man.
Also, that keeps the mind limber.
Yeah.
The oldest is the second oldest brother.
His I named him Don.
Don. That's a good one.
And Don is a stockbroker in New York.
Mm hmm.
And Don has like four kids and one of his kids just got a scholarship to Princeton.
Well, God damn. Yeah.
Yeah. So how does he feel about his kid moving to New Jersey?
Don. Yeah.
He isn't too tired of it.
I mean, they're New Yorkers, dude.
Yeah, I mean, New Yorkers.
New Yorkers, from what I understand, do not like New Jersey.
Yeah, Princeton's cool.
But it is in New Jersey.
I just watched this whole thing about when the Giants actually the New York
football Giants when they actually moved from New York to New Jersey,
how fucking people were mad and upset how New Yorkers were like,
I'm never going to a Giants game in New Jersey.
And then they did.
Some of them didn't.
OK, and some of them did.
And some did.
And then some people from New Jersey who never went to a Giants game
in New York started going to Giants. Yes.
And the Giants gave not one shit except for having cheaper rent.
Yeah. All right.
They had a stadium built for them.
Of course, they did on the taxpayers' dime.
I'm sure it always fascinates me how these teams are just like, oh,
we need to do a stadium and then all of a sudden you're all the taxpayers
are paying for the. It's like, how did I put what tax in my pain for a stadium?
Right. And a lot of times here's what happens is they won't.
They won't put a new tax on you to pay for the stadium.
They'll just cut a service that's important.
So it'll be like, OK, no more, no more.
No more that after school program.
No more after school program because, guys, the Giants are coming to town.
Do our kids really need an after school program if the Giants are coming to town?
Do we really need a debate team?
Yeah, we don't fucking need a debate team.
We need the Giants. Yeah.
Guys, we don't. We have all these police officers and a medium amount of crime.
The Giants are coming to town.
I mean, if anything, that probably means we'll need more police, but.
But the Giants are in the old school mob.
We really want the Giants here, too.
So yeah, that's the other thing I pick New Jersey is famous for is the mob.
The mob, yeah. Fucking Tony Soprano.
Yeah, yeah. And Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi.
Yeah. And Billy Joel and Mike chemical romance.
There's some New Jersey. Hey, there you go.
And there's there's there's more to Man, New Jersey really has put out some national treasures
because it's such a horrible play.
But yeah, it's like it has this reputation somehow of being the armpit of America
when really Baltimore is the armpit.
Really? Is it? I've been to Baltimore, dude.
I don't think I've been bad.
I honestly, I don't know.
I just heard somebody say that one, so I thought I'd throw it out.
It didn't seem that bad to me.
I mean, I was I went to Baltimore.
My mom lives at my mom recently.
I would wager that Baltimore is a pretty nice city, actually.
It didn't look that bad to me, but I was in a nice part of Baltimore,
from what I understand.
I think if I was told if I walked four blocks, five blocks to the left,
yeah, like it wouldn't be so every city has a nice part and crappy part
and multiple of either.
But I would I would think Baltimore is pretty nice.
If for no other reason than it's right next to DC and DC.
I mean, I don't know what if you live in Baltimore, tell me is it nice?
Yeah. Hey, some of our Baltimoreians.
Oh, their baseball team's name is the Orioles, so we'll call them Baltimore
Orioles, but their football teams, the Ravens. No, their football teams, the
the Baltimore Ravens. No, that's Atlanta.
No, I trust me, dude.
I know football is Baltimore Ravens.
The Ravens moved from Atlanta. No, they always been in Baltimore.
Yes. Who's in Atlanta? Atlanta Falcons.
I knew it was a bird.
Anyway, if you're in Baltimore, tell me if it sucks or not.
Then what are the nationals?
Is that a the nationals or Washington?
They're Washington. Yeah, but I don't think they're.
But I think they play in Cleveland's one that had to change their name
because everybody got offended that they were the Cleveland Indians.
Yeah. So they change it to the Cleveland galaxies.
Really? Yeah. Fuck, man.
The one that gets me still to this day is is the Reds.
Washington Redskins for years were the Washington Redskins,
which which is honestly probably the racistest of all the.
See, I know Indian guys that didn't mind.
I know people that are that are full blooded in Indian.
They're like, no, they're the Washington Redskins.
Yeah, no, I get that.
Like the people that they're actually the people that get pissed off
are our liberal white folks. Yes. Yeah.
I understand that.
And they change their name to the Washington Commanders.
The Commanders. Yes. Well, that's kind of cool.
Yes. But they'll always be the Redskins.
To me, at least always be the Redskins.
Is Atlanta still the Braves? Yes.
Cool. I'm glad they got off that.
Because Braves is pretty cool.
Yeah. Like people like, oh, no, it's racist.
And I'm like, I think because it was an Indian guy
and they didn't like the mascot and something.
I think they changed the mascot.
All right.
Because Braves are even if that is like a like
an a name for an Indian warrior.
I mean, it's like a warrior.
Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah.
The Braves, man.
Yeah, it's not a derogatory name for a warrior.
It's a brave. Literally.
It's in the name, right? Yeah.
So I think that's going to do it, man.
I think we we turned it around.
Absolutely.
And we're going to end this episode.
Yeah, I want to say one last thing.
What's that?
October is coming up.
Nicest month of the year,
weather wise in this part of the world,
the part of the world in which we live.
Yes. And I'm looking forward to it.
Yes. I don't really enjoy this heat right now, but.
You know, the heat's been a bit oppressive lately.
Just this week, it's been like fucking balls hot outside.
Yeah. And it's supposed to drop to like
it's supposed to drop tomorrow considerably.
All good. Anyway, that's our episode.
Hey, if you guys liked it,
wherever you listen to our podcast, leave us a review.
Yeah, it helps us out.
If you want to catch these episodes right when they come out,
we have a mailing list.
If you go to our website, Shane and I show dot com,
sign up for that mailing list as soon as
this episode gets edited and released.
You get it before anybody else.
Also, if you're on the website,
if you're on the website,
if you want to make a donation,
a little donation, things going to pop up, feel free.
Yeah, little three dollar donation doesn't have to be every time.
Just once in a while.
If you feel so inclined, we would love you long time.
You could even leave us a little note.
If you want to make a little three dollar donation
and I have a say something on the next episode, leave us a little note.
Yeah. And within reason.
And I've said this before, within reason, I will say anything for money.
And if it's enough money, I don't even need reason.
Yeah. I'm with you.
Yeah, we'll make some shut up about a friend of yours.
Yeah, you know, oh, Peach to Willaker.
I know that guy to be to Willaker.
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the episode.
If you listen all the way through, thank you.
And until next time, don't be a dick.
Don't be a dick.