Hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of Hosts and Fletch Girls.
So we have not one but two guests today.
We got Chiyuki here, the artist, and then we got her producer, Tommy.
And then, Kella, you want to introduce yourself?
Hey y'all, I'm Kella. Y'all knew that already though.
So we just oiled here today.
Well, first we want to start with our Life Be Life segment.
So all of us basically with this segment, you just give like a little, like a little one minute update for Nail on like where you're at in life.
So we're going to have you go first since you two guests.
Okay, word. Right now where I'm at in life, I'm just like rehearsing, getting everything together with my brand.
I have a show May 13th at World Live Cafe.
So yeah, I've just been working crazy on that, getting the set list down.
I'm bringing in background vocalists this time around.
So I'm super excited.
Oh, really?
Yeah, so really just like getting that set down pack.
That's where I'm at.
I'm happy for you.
Thank you.
Who got you?
Me right now, I've been kind of just working on our studio space that we just built.
So that's like the biggest thing for me right now.
And we have a single coming out next week.
So that's kind of what we've been gearing up to roll out and everything.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know.
I'm about to get promoted at my job.
Nice.
Yeah.
Hopefully you don't ever find any of this content.
Please Lord, I'd be really scared because this is a really good job.
And I'm like real proud of myself for like actually because I wasn't even going to go
for it.
My boss was the one who recommended me to like apply for it and everything like that.
So yeah, shout out, shout out to her.
Thank you girl.
So my birthday coming up.
I'm super excited about that.
It's tourist season today is April 20th.
So that's the beginning of the tourist season.
Also, I'm moving into my apartment.
So I'm excited about that.
So I don't know.
That's kind of where we at right now.
I guess as a brand, like we've been doing good.
We've been doing real good.
So good that I had to cut a couple of people off.
No, real shit.
Fuck you, bitch.
It'd be like that.
I'm going to get out of this segment right now and we want to talk about your single.
Now I want you to tell me what is the single about because I have, because you know how
people, they digest music differently.
So I might feel like your single is about something different in which you initially
like what is your single like actually.
That's so cool because like I'm interested to hear like.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
So when I was listening to it, I kind of got the feel that it was about like your fucking
girl or somebody and you just don't know where it's going to land or where it's going to end up.
And you kind of just wondering where it's going to fall.
That's what I got from it.
Oh my gosh.
I thought about it like more so like overarching.
It doesn't actually have to be like romantic kind of just like what the fuck is going on.
Yeah.
That too.
That's because that's where I'm at right now.
That's so interesting.
So what is it about?
So the song is actually about kind of just like I want to say like this motif that represents
kind of like you were saying like where is this?
Where are we at in life?
What's happening?
Okay.
Just I want to say like a matter of like life and death and during this time of my life,
this is kind of when I was like experimenting with shrooms and different stuff.
I love shrooms.
I still got to try it.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
I feel like I've gotten what I needed from those journeys.
So I don't really do shrooms and stuff anymore.
But um.
Yeah.
I don't do that anymore either.
Just like kind of this like I wanted to do like this like retrospective things like looking
in the past and like also looking inward like introspective and just I don't know like a wonder
of like what is our purpose here?
What really matters?
Like where do we go when we die?
Like kind of just a combination of all of these different like feelings and curiosities.
And yeah, just kind of putting them in like a repetitive like almost like chanting type
of thing.
Right.
That's where I've been recently.
We be talking about that all the time.
We be like where is life going to take us?
Maybe I should start doing shrooms again because I feel like I need to start doing shrooms so
I can really do truly do some introspection.
I feel like you have to be in a good headspace for that because I've been in a bad headspace
in these shrooms and why I felt like I was going to die.
That's scary.
Yeah.
Like and also I recommend micro dosing instead of like doing it like full on because.
So I feel like that's why like I like got what I needed from my experiences and assured
amount of time because I like started tripping apes from the rip.
Oh yeah.
You guys just go all in.
Yeah.
I did it one time and I was like in my bed like like I felt like I was like well if
there's a heaven I'm about to go to it and I hope I'm not going to go to hell.
So like how did you come up with like the same or like what was that process like.
For me I guess it always starts kind of like with a melody like I really like the kind
of it's like a uplifting chord progression.
And I think I kind of like contrast the music so the chord progression doesn't really lend
itself to maybe like a dancier type of rhythm but I figured I was like let's try something
else with this one.
And yeah when I sent her to the beat you know she I guess she kind of just like you know
let the words flow and it just came to it.
It's really reminiscent of like for me it reminds me of like Pink Pantherous.
Like it really as soon as I heard it I was like oh yeah I could definitely hear like
Pink Pantherous on this.
It sounds like something you would hear at Coachella too.
Yeah.
I like that.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
Yeah and you got like she got like the little sexy tone going on with her voice so yeah.
It's very anti-pop like the way like it's so upbeat but the lyrics are very like low-key
existential.
I felt it.
It was like I feel like an angsty teenager.
Is that what she was going for though?
No.
It wasn't.
It wasn't?
Not at all.
No.
More like very more mature I'd say than like angsty teenagers.
I love hearing other people's like interpretation of music though because it just shows like.
Because I see her sitting there and she like how like bendable and stuff it is and I think
that's really cool how it could fit into like so many different spaces.
Yeah but I could see that too which you just said like I could hear all of it.
Because it was almost more so church inspired for me.
Wow.
Oh wow.
Take us through that.
That's crazy how everybody digest music differently.
Yeah but take us through that.
Take us through that.
Like you were saying like the chord kind of being like they're like uplifting like almost
like a religious type of like hymn to me.
Yeah.
Like that's where the like the part like lift my spirit out of here is like I tried to do
like these vocal inflections of like a I don't want to say a preacher but almost like the
lead vocalist of like a church choir.
Okay.
I just want to give you that lift my like you know.
But you know what now that you say it I kind of hear it like I get that.
Yeah.
I get that.
But I did want to talk about because I know we do our research on people before they come
over here.
So I know you started out as a songwriter.
Yeah.
And you were a musician who was singer.
So what was that like like walk us through that process.
It was really cool.
I feel like Tommy is one of the people who kind of helped like nurture me singing because
originally when I started as a songwriter I wanted to sing and everybody was like you
suck please stop this right.
You're trying to sing me.
I don't mean to laugh at your misfortune.
No I swear to God my brother will tell you like I used to sit next to me like audio if
you don't shut up these songs like so yeah it was funny.
Tommy I feel like was the first person I worked with that had like the production the skill
and just like that energy like it was like a synergy the first time we worked together
it was like super crazy.
So finally having the space to I feel like nurture like I said our voice for a for a
like I started singing differently before when I was writing music I'm trying to sing like
super high pitch like Beyonce different female singers I was listening to and I felt like
I feel like working with Tommy gave me like a space to kind of like explore the range
of my tonality.
Oh that or more so just foster her own sound because I feel like especially when you are
a student of music you tend to try to mock people that you hear or that you are inspired
by I mean like so that leads into my question where was your inspiration when you were younger
like who were your go-tos and how do they influence how you make music now.
I feel like a lot of my inspirations are very old very much like 60s 70s Gil Skyheron
Sly and the Family Stone just off top of my head but honestly I didn't want to be a
singer as a child I didn't want to be a songwriter I didn't want to be anything of that nature.
What did you want to be.
I felt like I was going to school to be a criminal defense attorney honestly and life took like
a big turn of events for me my best friend ended up passing and he was the one who did
like music graphic design production.
Yeah so I kind of just started doing this to continue his legacy and got a positive response
up until I met Tommy and then it was just like up from there.
Now how did y'all meet you and Tommy?
Yeah so I have we have a mutual friend he goes by the name of June Robb I ever you know him
and I used to have a studio in my uncle's basement down in West Philly and we just kind
of go down there and just like cook up I took sessions I recorded people made beats and
he brought Chiyuki through one time and she was just like a fly on the wall for her she
didn't even say much for her and I kind of already known her because we had mutual friends
growing up like you know I had a friend named Simone shout out to Simone but yeah we didn't
say much the first time we met and then she wound up coming through or actually what
happened was I wound up following her on Instagram and she posted a snippet of a song and it was
waiting it was waiting and I was like yo this is different like it was this ownality in her
voice I was like man this is something here so I invited her down and we did a record
the first record we did was enchanted I don't know if y'all heard that one but um yeah after
that I was just like yo let's let's lock in like that's really like you know crafty sound.
Is it important because I've always wanted to ask like a producer and like a singer is it
important to have like chemistry? Yeah absolutely. I feel like that that's like across the board
it has to be. So having chemistry like what are like the what's the outcome of that I guess
like what because I feel like I've heard some singers like they've said stuff like oh you
know you know I'm not necessarily like well not compatible but I don't necessarily have
chemistry with my producer but we still make like fire music but for y'all y'all said that
it's important so like what was like the outcome of it like since y'all have that chemistry?
I can say for me because I do also understand that point like not having that like initial
chemistry with somebody and still being able to create great music. Yeah. But I also feel
like for me in my music you can hear the difference so like I have other producers I have worked
with and I've made great records with them like really grand awesome records but when Tommy
and I work together it's like you feel something different within these records that can't
necessarily be replicated with someone that you don't have that synergy that chemistry
with it's like a different type of you know when people like cook with love you know almost
like that. You can definitely tell. You know you can really tell like. Put your foot in this one. Yeah for real.
I kind of feel that way like even with me and Kayla because and in the beginning it was like
two other girls it was so chaotic and I didn't have chemistry with them and it was a whole fall
and out we're not gonna get into that but I found that me and Kayla. Shout out to them.
Shout out to them because we in a better place now. Fuck y'all bitches. But it definitely
is important because when me and Kayla works together like we've balanced each other out
like Kayla to be honest we have the same birth chart. Yeah it's just like it's just like
reverse. Yeah. I think that's why we get along so well because like we just we just know
each other. Yo real shit. We bond so out like it's certain stuff that like I might be better
in that I might be better in and then it's certain stuff Kayla might be better in. So I definitely
get what you're saying about like the chemistry aspect of it because when I did have that chemistry
with them other girls that shit was chaotic we was not going anywhere with this brand or with this.
I don't even really want to talk about it because I really can't stand them.
But we ain't gonna get into it. I was about to say look we're gonna get brought to you now though.
So that's you know. Yeah we in a much better space so I definitely get what y'all are saying
about like the whole chemistry thing. Also I know that you performed at Essex.
Oh yeah. South by Southwest. How was that? I've always wanted to go there. I watched it.
It was an interesting experience. Now I don't I'm gonna be honest. I don't really know nothing about it.
Like I just know it's like a it's like a festival. It's like a huge music and media festival.
Yeah it's like a big media music festival. They have different like workshops for artists
different events going on that you could perform with. That would actually be dope for y'all to go down there
because they have like different podcasts and people down there. I was literally just thinking about that.
Different like panel discussions and things of that nature. So we had four shows lined up when we went down there
and that was really cool. I mean a lot of dope connections. I just would have like strategized a little bit better
to get on like I feel like lineups that were more beneficial for me. I feel like two out of the four
you know were like great shows where I was supposed to be and the other two were great.
Definitely got a great crowd response and made some great connections but might have been more impactful
if I was on the right show bill you know for something more of like my sound and things of that nature
just would have got like a better response. You know they would have been more receptive to it instead of like shocked
like oh shit this is hard right. I am fucking with it as opposed to like well this is what I'm here to see this type of music
so I'm like already engaged. But that reaction is probably I would love that reaction like oh shit this is different.
Because it's like especially like aesthetically they probably like okay this black girl let's see what she got
and your sound is so much different than what people would probably perceive you as and I'd be like yeah bitch.
Your sound is very different from like compared to like not trashed it on any other Philly artists
but I feel like your breath pressure. Yeah a lot of artists in Philly like it's not music of quality
like I feel like yours is like that and it's a couple other people I feel that way about
but I really love that you have your own sound. That's what I was going to say. When I first saw you perform
when we was at the older studio we were performing I was like oh shit oh. For me it was like my inner child was screaming
because I went to all PWIs unfortunately okay not unfortunately I had a great education let me not stop it
it's interesting to act like I didn't. But so I grew up listening to Bon Jovi the Beatles,
Janice Japplin all these people. That's so crazy I'm listening to none of them. Wow.
Like that's what I'm saying. Your sound is so reminiscent of Black Rockstar. Like Pure Hell,
Black Death, Death. They're like the original punk rock stars that a lot of these people were influenced by.
You know like Holland Wolf like think Cadillac Records. Yeah like I listened to all the white shit.
No offense. The killers I fuck with the killers have you. Yeah like Rolling Stones, KISS, Mick Jagger like that was where I was at.
That's where I was at. So when I heard you I was like oh yeah this reminds me of me when I was little.
This like because I was the only one in my family listening to freaking Nirvana and stuff. Okay.
The spin doctors, the Google Dolls, Van Morrison all those people like that's where I was at like for a lot of my life.
So when I heard you. Janice Japplin someone else mentioned her to me the other day like you should cover one of her songs or something
but this is band I listened to Amy and the Sniffers and they said they remind her a lot of Janice Japplin so you should check them out.
I don't know none of these people. They're killing me. But exactly so like even like Elton John all those people like.
I don't know not one Elton John song. I'm gonna be so in love. You know Elton John but you may not know that you know.
Rockin' man. Rockin' man. What's wrong with hug and I'm gonna be. Nope. It's okay. Cam is a never.
I don't be listening to you. Cam is a never. Good. I'll be honest y'all. I like to call myself a music kind of story but I'm gonna be honest.
I really don't be listening to a lot of like white artists. I really don't. I should.
Florence and the Machines is also a band that I really, really enjoy growing up coldplay.
How would you describe that? Like her like the artist she just named because that's not punk. Is that more like classic?
No you said Janice Joplin. Elton John. Like classic rock. Like classic rock right?
And then I got into like alternative rock. I got into alternative rock as I got a little older. Like I said Nirvana, the spin doctors, the Google Dolls.
Wow. Yeah so hearing you I was like oh man like when I was younger I would have loved to see someone like that looked like you that sounds like you too
because like that's all I wanted to see and I didn't get to see that growing up.
Because I would go home and I would hear Motown and I would hear all those other people but I'm like girl I'm a rock star.
I'm trying to bang my head. Stop.
Now being like a black girl that's in that genre do you sometimes feel like you're overlooked because you're a black girl?
No. Honestly I feel like no I don't feel overlooked in this genre.
I think people fuck with it.
I would call my genre rock. I would call it more cinematic. You know I feel like it's very genre bending and confiding in a lot of different species.
But I do have a lot of like punk and like rock influences and like I'm trying to think.
Slying to Family Stone. Not necessarily rock.
So I like a lot of music. A lot of my influences are just heavy instrumentation more so than like rock or like a certain genre.
It's more so just the production has so much.
Intracasees and things of that nature.
Like instrumentation. Yeah like everything is like live and felt and it's just like that's what I've realized the music.
I really gravitate towards and I'm influenced by even like a band I listen to now Infinity Stone.
They're not necessarily rock. They're more like Neal Soul, R&B.
They're actually I think they were like Jay-Z's something with Jay-Z. I don't know.
That's how I came across them. King Capitalist.
Their music is just so just grand. It's so felt. It feels like an orchestra. I just love stuff like that.
You like live sounds and stuff like that.
Yeah whereas like the production could be a song in its own. You know? I love that.
I could see you doing like a tiny desk.
Yeah I would love that.
You like the live sounds and like the instrumentation and stuff like that.
And your stage presence is?
Yes.
Now what else do we want to talk about?
Wow we really wringing at this point. We usually have stuff.
We really wasn't wringing it for real. We have like a whole outline but.
I don't want to talk about that.
Okay so do you want to segue into like our...
Maybe we should do the internet whole segment.
I think we should.
Because we can still incorporate her sound and her music into that.
But I just want opinions on this thing.
Yeah she got a list of things.
I have opinions? I need... Okay let's do internet hell.
Okay. And you can chime in too.
You want your opinions on everything.
Let's see. Let's see. Let's see.
Which one do you want to do? You want to...
No. I want to do this Marcus Houston shit.
Yeah. Yeah.
You're a nasty bitch. You're just disgusting.
So basically let's tell everybody what the whole situation is.
In case people aren't familiar with it.
So Marcus Houston and his nasty self.
He was in immature. He was on sister sister as Roger.
He was in one of his nondayard.
Yeah he was.
Yeah his ugly ass.
He married a 19 year old at what 36? 37?
Yeah.
He knew her when she was underage.
And...
He said that he didn't talk to her until she was of age.
Which means that could be any time.
That could be any time.
The only difference between 17 and 18 is a day.
But when you really think about it like...
11.59 on her birthday?
I think it's so perverted.
Because honestly just me being...
Well I'm about to be 24. Me about to be 24.
I don't even think I could fuck with a...
An 18 year old.
An 18 year old or a 19 year old.
You can't do nothing for me.
You can't even buy me a drink.
Exactly. What do you really have?
So I'm just very concerned. Especially with him being way older than us.
He's what 36 or 37?
Yeah like he was already grown when I was born.
What was you finding in a 19 year old?
He was like oh you know we were so compatible.
Like I saw myself in her.
Bro what?
And you know what?
As a Christian woman...
I hate Christian people.
Because y'all let this type of stuff happen.
I recently stopped going to church because I was trying...
I was getting led to date somebody that was around his age.
That's insane.
And it was like...
Why would you want me to do that?
Why would y'all want me to do that?
Then he said a friend of his had introduced him to the girl.
So I'm very concerned.
But they do stuff like that.
Like ask someone who grew up in church and seen this type of stuff.
They... Especially if the man is in the church and has a legacy that they need to fulfill.
They will try to groom you into their right hand.
And it's like the sickest thing ever.
Because the first thing he said, we both love God.
And I'm just like you're crazy.
You know what they look like.
You're always witness.
That's crazy.
Y'all are scary.
So what are y'all thoughts on this?
Like what are your thoughts on this?
Both of y'all.
You can go first.
I want to hear a male perspective.
Yeah, yeah.
He's... How? 36?
36 and 19 is a crazy age gap.
That's a crazy age gap.
However, I will say...
My whole life, all the women I've known have dated older men.
I've been there too.
You know what I'm saying? Include my own mother.
So it's like...
36 and 19 is a crazy age gap.
But then like I go back to like what you kind of said about like,
okay well what can somebody do for me?
And I think that once you get older as a...
Just a person in general.
It does become about, okay cool what is this person adding to my life.
And you know as a man gets older,
we become more established.
You know what I'm saying? Our finances become more established.
Our mental, our spiritual being, all of that stuff.
So I think that's just something that women are innately attracted to.
You know what I'm saying?
I would ask though like what would be like the age limit for somebody?
Like for like a five year age gap is like the limit or like seven?
Like what's the limit?
Well for me, because I'm about to be 24,
I feel like my limit is like 30.
Man, I mean I was out here 14 days of my that was like 20.
Like I look at myself sometimes and I'm like girl,
you were such a baby.
I feel like the age gap don't matter when you hit 25.
Yeah like what's your...
That's how I feel. I feel like it don't matter once you hit 25.
But I also don't want no geriatric ass niggas.
I feel like once you get 30 they be like,
ooh my back. You know?
I feel like age very much matters.
And I don't necessarily go by like...
Well I do go by gaps.
I feel like instead of five I go more so by like two.
Two to four because I look at it more so as like developmental life stages.
So to be in such different...
Stages in your life, yeah.
You get what I'm saying?
It's like that's where I feel like it leaves so much room for manipulation,
grooming, miscommunication.
It's just like certain things like for example,
my younger brother is 20, you know?
He's four years younger than me.
So I like, okay five years.
I can say it all the way.
Now I'm doing the math like somebody is doing the math like sometimes
it's certain things I have to have patience with him with
and like a little be a little bit more merciful with him
because it's like certain things you just have not experienced.
You know?
And you don't have the life experience to understand necessarily
what I may be trying to articulate to you.
And granted some people at 20 do have that life experience.
But even then it's like certain areas that have lacked in development
where it's always just going to be some sort of disconnect.
And I mean granted you do have some cases where you have grown as people
who are very immature and have not developed certain fundamental skills.
It gotta be him.
What?
But no, I feel like that's just the prime example of someone wanting to take advantage of someone.
They know who does not have those.
But religiously that happens all the time.
They will see you.
I feel like that's like embedded in Christianity.
It's so serious.
So it's like you know, where are we?
Cause where the hell in the Bible did you, did they say that?
I read it.
They said that they read the same book.
Pedophilia for homosexuality in the Bible.
But even then it's just like what?
They said, they said pedophilia was wrong.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Like you keep on.
That's why they swapped this shit out.
They shaved it.
You know, where they lived in England.
Yeah.
And then they moved, and in New York, I had a little kid like why y'all doing that?
And then it's also like why aren't you trying to date women your age?
Like I feel like it's a real-
He said why?
Why?
He then, he said because they come with baggage and kids.
That's what you're saying.
No, I just feel like the woman his age see the lame in him.
And that's why he don't want to even do that.
I feel like, what?
I'm gonna keep it at 1,000, right?
I'm gonna keep it at 1,000.
I'm 25 now.
And I've seen it should change from the time I turned 20
up to now, it should get a little different.
Most women, not most, not most, not most.
But a lot of the women that I run into out and about,
and usually, I don't really go out to the clubs
and stuff like that, but that's probably
where I'll run into the majority of women.
You know what I'm saying?
When I'm working and stuff in the studio,
it's not really a lot of women there, but...
Right.
A lot of women do have kids.
And a lot of women, if you're single by the time you're 25,
like they done been with niggas.
They done been with niggas, you know what I'm saying?
So he's right about that.
I'm not saying that that's necessarily a bad thing
that women having kids is bad, or like them being
in other relationships is bad.
However, if I'm trying to build a life that's gonna be
most pleasant to me, I would rather be
with a woman who is over, or at least past
the emotional damage she might've been put through.
You know what I'm saying?
But I would rather she not have been through much of it.
You know what I'm saying?
Because it's...
I agree.
I feel like two things could be true.
I feel like that is very true.
And then Marcus Houston is still very...
He really is a sick nigga.
That's a sick nigga.
It's his case.
I'm just speaking on that one point.
That's it.
I feel like that is very true.
A lot of us women are jaded.
You know what I'm saying?
Niggas too.
You know, guys.
Men are fucking jaded as fuck.
They are!
They're like the ass like they had.
They're like hey!
And you know what's crazy?
I feel like with women,
are emotional baggage or, you know,
jadedness makes them from romantic relationships.
I feel like with men, a lot of times it's unresolved,
like familial shit.
They be hating their moms!
Y'all hate your moms!
You're gonna be talking about this all the time.
I was talking about the men who hate these moms.
My mother and I are the best!
I said that.
They can hate their moms.
Like at least we've dealt with maybe
some of the family stuff we've dealt with,
or we're trying to overcome that kind of stuff.
We can acknowledge it.
Yeah, we might be scarred from relationships and stuff,
but they be having deep rooted family issues.
Oh my gosh.
If they could choke slam their mom,
they would.
And I like what you said.
I've made a vow to never date men
that do not have strong relationships
with their mother or father.
And since I've made that decision,
I made much success.
Yes, I conceded.
Or at least heal it.
Please heal that.
No, I don't want to know her ass nigga.
Because she's who you're sorry for.
Or they be having unresolved romantic shit too.
But the sick part about it is that y'all be mad
and little Sally Mae first tearing up
your macaroni card and sticking right.
That don't be why they be mad.
They be wanting something else.
They be like, fuck you bitch.
They be wanting something else.
And then it's, I'm like, I don't know.
But it even be playing over into sex though too.
When they be fucking women, like they just be taking
all the internet.
We were talking about, they do be gay though.
They do.
They be slobbing or not.
No shade.
Like I done had a lot of like men like, never mind.
I'll just pick you up.
They be having an unresolved trauma with that too.
If you want to get on your knees,
if you want to do the bending, just do it.
Jesus.
Just do it.
When Jada was like, so you doing the bending.
I was cracking up.
Oh my god.
Oh, oh.
Because I know I would really react like that too.
Not because you gay, but like you could have told me.
I disagree.
I feel like that is something that is like very,
such a touchy subject in the black community.
Especially for black men who are bi.
They can't just tell y'all.
They can't.
But for me, that's true.
Y'all like that love react like, you know.
I feel like a lot of black women are just like.
Homophobic.
Yeah.
And it's like embedded in us.
Not even like, you know.
I feel like even people look at me weird when I be like,
I'll date a bisexual man.
Yes.
Like they be like.
Because I be saying that all the time.
They be like what?
And I'm like, I'm going to eat a little ass to one end.
Bisexual men and I feel like when I have dated them,
is when I realized that I still had some homophobic tendencies
in me that I felt like are almost cleared out the way
because I was dating a bi man.
You know when it was still like deep rooted shit
that I had to unlearn.
So I feel like it is very hard for black bi men
to like express themselves with black women in particular.
Yeah, because we mean this shit.
We are.
We already feel like I'm not going to say we already feel.
But OK, just from my consensus of Twitter topics
and conversations and things, I'm basing it off of that.
But it's already like a sense of like losing the black men.
Like, you know, so it's like, oh no, now all the good ones
are gay and shit like that.
And it's like just such like.
Just stick a finger up their ass, man.
Just like play with a butt.
But even as joking about it, you know,
it's like it makes it so hard for them to.
We definitely have like a lot of like homophobia.
And yeah.
And me and Keller are not above that.
Like me and Keller, we had an episode
we was talking about black women who are like very homophobic.
But like I said, even us, like I'm still
on learning a lot of shit a lot of shit.
Like I be having sometimes I have a lot of friends
in the LGBT community, maybe call me out and shit.
They be like him, that girl, that was a little too much.
I got sorry.
All right.
And I correct myself.
I of course correct myself.
But I feel like that's the difference between me and Keller
and like a lot of these other bitches that just be out here
just being ignorant as fuck.
Like we course correct.
Yeah.
But also going to school with a bunch of white people.
I went I went to Germantown friends.
So I had a lot of gay teachers by teachers, trans teachers,
trans students that I went to school with, gay, all that stuff.
So my viewpoint on all of that is so much different
than everybody else's, I think, especially
in the black community because I like when people are talking
about pronouns and all that other stuff, I grew up like I was
in kindergarten, literally like my pronouns are she and her.
And like little stuff like that, like I always I was always around that.
Do you feel like it almost was like a cold switching of like back
into like being a little bit more homophobic when you were around
your black peers?
Oh, I always be like y'all drawing.
Yeah.
But it was always like, oh, like you're just taking things too seriously.
But I'm like, even down to especially with transphobia,
I have trans family members and like they're older, like actually
like older, older and.
I said bless her.
Yeah.
Like but the my cousins that didn't go to school with people that were like them
and didn't have the same lived experiences.
I remember like we went down and and and she's from Georgia.
So she already had a lot of stuff going on.
Like, you know, like.
She just had a really rough life.
But I remember going down there with my cousins and like one of my
cousins didn't even want to touch her.
Like she was like so disgusted and it made me so sad.
Like I cried because I was like, what's wrong?
And she's like, no, no, like, like, look, look.
And I'm like, damn.
But I remember feeling like that.
But also my thing was me like kind of muting anything because I didn't want
people to be like, so what does that mean for you?
Right.
And I'm like.
Now I got a question for you.
I feel like Black men like I feel like Black men and Black women period.
I just we got a lot of like homophobia to just like overcome whatever.
But do you feel like as a Black man, like are you working on course
correcting it? Like has that I don't know.
What are your thoughts on it?
Like.
For me, I mean.
The communities I've been raised in are pretty homophobic, I will say.
Me myself, though, like same as Kayla, like I went to predominantly
white schools and I was younger. So I'm not like new to trans people,
homosexual people or anything like that.
And I have some really good clients who are like transgendered and, you know,
part of the LGBT community.
So for me, I think I've kind of learned over time to be
not not accepting of it, but more so like.
I guess what's the word like?
Like I'm kind of just used to like the the different like.
Walks of life.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Like how they how they joke with each other.
Because, you know, even when you go to like you were all black here.
So like even when you go around white people, like they have different jokes.
Yes, they have different like all that type of stuff.
So I kind of have learned like, you know, what the differences are in our
and our social patterns and stuff like that.
Learn to be more inclusive, basically.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's a good word.
All right.
Sometimes it is hard to code switch out of certain things, though.
It is.
Especially when the majority of the time you are around the opposite of like
what your home life or what your like interpersonal community is.
Mm hmm.
I can say like to answer your question with the code switching thing.
It was it was really difficult because I really didn't get the joke.
Sometimes I'd be like, why are y'all being so mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I definitely got to understand that I went to friends to like up until
fifth grade downtown.
So I definitely did not want to put in white words.
I do understand what you mean by that.
But I also did have experience going to Henry and then I went to
Khyber State in Baltimore, you know, so I kind of just having those two walks of
life and going to school downtown but living in the hood, you know, shit like that.
So, yeah.
How did you explain that to the white kids?
Because I had a hard time.
My grandparents on my dad's side actually look white.
Oh, OK.
Rich.
So yeah, when I would have birthday parties, I would go over to my rich
grandparents' house and have a full party in the backyard.
I had that.
I was like, I'm a nether.
So this is what I got.
Let's go on to another topic.
I want to talk about push and see wife that situation.
So basically, did you see it on Twitter?
All right.
Oh, I did.
I did.
Somebody had asked her, like, did she ever feel away?
Like, how did she feel just being like a rapper's wife or whatever?
And she was basically saying like, at first she was uncomfortable because she
didn't have like the rapper baby mom look like she didn't have like a whole bunch
of makeup, like a fat ass.
She didn't have like the body.
But she said that she's now like comfortable with herself.
So she feels like she's cooler.
Now, a lot of people said, a lot of women said that that made her a pick me.
Now I have thoughts about that.
I do feel like her wording was off because she said something like, oh,
kicked up faces, body con dresses and fake titties or something like that.
It was kind of demeaning.
It was shitty.
So the wording, yeah.
I mean, it was shitty.
So I get-
Fuck you hoes.
That's how she feels.
Yeah.
The wording was definitely off.
I mean, she was like, I don't know.
Like she has to speak like that.
Cause one thing about these BBL bitches, you bitches suck.
No, they don't.
And if a bitch want to be natural and throw shade or if a BBL bitch with a throw
shade at the natural hoes, then I love shade.
I'm here for the shades.
Right.
For me, it's just like, I know, like, you know how industry bitches be like,
they the side eyes be crazy.
And it's like, why are you upset with this girl?
Cause she didn't have to get a 360 lipo to get the-
Bitch, cause I did.
Like, yeah, like, that's how they be feeling.
They be like, what the fuck did that, how the fuck did this stupid bitch that bitch
get no work to get this thing in?
People was calling her a pick me and I get both sides.
Cause some people were saying, well, I don't think she was being a pick me.
I think she was being a raw with like how she felt.
Cause that's a very, that's a very natural feeling.
Like it is.
Me and Kayla was just talking about that, like just beauty standards in the industry
period.
And we be thinking like, well, when we get big, when our podcast blow up.
Would y'all get BBLs?
Like what?
I don't need one respectfully.
I feel like I already have a nice shape.
So I probably get my titties done.
That's it.
So I probably get my titties done.
But me and Kayla, we've always talked about like when we get big, like, are we going
to want to assimilate our look?
Because we do, I do see a lot in the music industry or disability industry period that
when you do assimilate your look, you do get like a certain kind of success.
You do get a certain kind of crossover.
So I don't feel like it was nothing wrong with what she said.
That's just a very like raw feeling.
Like I'd be feeling like I want to do it, but then I'm like, my mom's going to drag me.
I don't want to get dragged.
If I had to afford to get work done, I would.
And I don't feel like that's rooted in like not a positive body image because I love my
body and I love my face.
But more so like you never know what you would do if you could afford until you could like
afford to do it.
That's facts.
Because I'd be saying it.
And just like certain skincare like regimen to routine.
It's just certain like things that I've seen not necessarily in the music industry, but
my mom is like super into cosmetology and that type of stuff.
So just different procedures and things she's shown me.
And I don't know, like it's like one like these like tear throw injections.
They could take out like the fat pad under your eyes.
There won't be like as many like dark circles and bags.
That does wonders.
And it's just certain shit.
They like even skincare people have said they like, bro, ain't no.
Face full wash or regimen or no oil you put on your face.
Go fix that shit.
Like some shit.
You just got to go under like, you know, and not necessarily like a big procedure or anything
of that nature.
But I've also had like plastic surgery already.
So that's kind of why I'm like not against like BBOs and like different surgeries and
shit.
Because it's just like, you know, I'm not against it.
Who plays surgery?
My eye.
Yeah.
I had a broke my eye.
And like 2016 and I literally had to get plastic surgery.
So my eye didn't like droop in the back of my eye.
Wow.
That's why I got the face tattoo on the inside of my face.
Cause people would like look at my eye cause it was lazy.
Okay, okay, okay.
I mean, everyone has gotten work done.
I have braces.
Me too.
Like, you know, like, but still like I have braces.
I like, there's a lot of things that we do in order to make sure that we are more appealing.
And I feel like people like there's so much, like there's so many polarizing opinions.
Like, you don't love yourself if you get a BBO or you do love yourself cause you didn't.
And it's just kind of like some people don't get work done as a challenge to themselves
to really accept themselves for who they are.
And that's how I feel about it.
Like I, since I was like little, I was like, I'ma get my boobs done because that is just
going to make me perfect.
And it would, you bitches wouldn't stand a mother fucking shit.
I swear, I swear, yo.
You bitches wouldn't.
I need, I want to get my boobs done.
But fuck it.
I'm just not going to do it.
Now have you ever felt like, like have you ever been in rooms with like girls that look
different from you and like felt insecure about your look in particular?
I'm like a little gay.
So I'll be like, damn.
I'll be like, can I touch a private part?
So yeah, I'm like, I'm heavy on like, I really admire shit that I cannot do or that it's
not like already me.
I'm like big on like admiring.
So like, thick ass women.
I love them cause it's like girl, like I just, I don't know.
And like my mom is super thick.
Like a bunch of women in my family are like super thick, volumptuous.
Like I live for it.
That's why I'm not scared either because my mom's body came after the 20s and let me
tell you that bitch.
I think I got my dad jeans.
Me too.
Cause like I'm super slim.
I'm super slim and all the other women in my family are like super thick.
Yeah.
I'm just like, yeah.
Your sister's body type is closer to mine.
Yeah.
I'm just like, well, what the fuck happened to me?
Like what the hell?
Yeah.
But I just like admire that type of stuff.
So like all the women who do like their own hair and the makeup artists, the dancers,
like I love it.
I admire it.
You know, that's cause you're not a hating ass bitch.
Yeah.
Some people, some of y'all are really haters.
Some of y'all are really haters.
I feel like people are haters because they don't acknowledge emotion, emotions as things
that like come and go.
And when you don't acknowledge it, that's when it kind of like fosters and then you
become like this like jealous or envious or haterish person because those are all natural
emotions.
Yeah.
At the end of the day.
So I would say I haven't been jealous or insecure more so about like image or bodies or things
of that nature.
But I will say in my early 20s, I would be jealous of my friend's relationship with their
families.
Really?
You know, like some of my peers has stronger relationships with their moms and that would
make me envious.
I can't get to it.
I wish I could go fucking drinks with my mom.
No, real sure.
I would be jealous.
Really, I'll be jealous in the sense that like I would see certain girls, like they'd
be able to have certain conversations with their mom about like sex and stuff like that
and boys.
And I could never do that with my mom.
And I'll be super jealous about that.
Like I could never have like an open conversation with my mom about sex at all.
So I'll be jealous of that kind of stuff.
So I definitely feel you.
Yeah.
And I feel like once I acknowledged it, it's like for what it was like, okay, I'm jealous
of my friend's relationship with her mom.
Yeah.
And that's okay.
I can let that feel that.
And let it go.
And then it doesn't become me.
I had like a therapy session with my, with my therapist and she was telling me like jealousy
is a very normal feeling.
What makes it like bad is when you let it turn you into a hater.
Yeah.
Like jealousy is very normal.
It's normal.
Like if your friends have something that you have or that you want, well, not that you
have something that you that you want, you want to be jealous a little bit, but that
doesn't make you don't have to let it turn you into a hater.
So jealousy is a normal feeling.
I wish more people would like understand that.
Like just acknowledge it.
Yeah.
And as long as you can acknowledge it, like that's good to do stuff with.
Did that, did that jealousy like allow you to create space for like trying to make a better
relationship with your parents as like as you got older or were you just like, damn,
this is what it is.
Don't really fuck with them like that either.
So let me just.
So it's crazy.
I have like a good relationship with both my mom and my dad.
It's just not as like.
Mushi, gushy with my mom as I would like it.
So what I learned was to stop being so fucking entitled, you know, and that my mom is who
she is and she's not that type of woman and I'm not her fucking cup of tea that I can't
fucking first that relationship.
Yeah.
Like I said, not that we don't have a good relationship, but like for example, my mom
has his one friend and listening to my mom more as a individual and not as my mom also
helped me like kind of deal with this more.
But she has his one friend.
Her and her daughter are super close.
They do everything together.
And it pisses my mom off every time my mom calls her.
She's like, oh, oh, me and my daughter, we about to go do this thing.
You know what I mean?
My daughter to come meet you and I'm gonna be in my daughter.
We about to get drinks and we going to the movies.
That's the type of shit I wish I could do with my mom, but she's not that type of person.
So that's okay.
It is.
And instead of me having this like void in my heart, my mom doesn't laugh at me.
It's like, no, except people for who they are.
And kind of like know your person now.
Yeah.
Like deal with relationships accordingly.
So it's like the things that I can do with my mom that she enjoys doing with me.
My mom is a meanie.
I was watching a Bobby Hemet lecture the other day and he said, all your problems disappear
when you stop judging others.
So pretty much like what you were saying, like, it's like, okay, cool, your relationship
with your mom doesn't have to look like that.
Right.
Cause you and your mom are two completely different people.
Different people.
Which y'all have something, y'all still have something special.
Yeah.
Like I said, my mom's mean, but we have, my therapist says that we're in mesh, but both
me and my mom told that lady to go to hell.
And that's how we do it.
I'm crying.
We are like thickest thieves.
She's so mean to me, but for some reason we just can never like not be right in each
other's space.
Like we spend all the time.
Let's talk about this.
King Von doc.
Did you watch it?
No.
Did you watch it?
I was sorry.
I don't push it like that.
I'm sorry, but like, I know he was really a psychopath.
He was fine as fuck.
He converted his coochie.
He was not even a cute girl.
Maybe I just like niggas with locks.
Maybe that's just my thing, but basically you think so.
He was really demonic, but I really fuck with the realness of it all.
And then here go camp.
You know, he's a Leo.
I know that.
I know that we have a tendency to really do things that are very unhinged.
Yeah.
But you got to fuck with it because it's real.
But I want to give everybody like just watching like a backstory on it.
So basically in this documentary, the guy is like breaking down all the people that King
Von has like murdered and he has over like, I think it was over 11.
He has over 11 bodies that we know that we know that we know of.
So he broke them all down and like he had like tweets that King Von would like posts.
He had like news articles, YouTube clips, all kinds of stuff like this nigga was insane.
He would kill somebody.
And be like, when's the funeral?
And it's not funny.
Like the murders themselves are not funny, but what's funny is like this nigga is psychotic.
He is.
Like he's a psychopath.
And I'm just like, wow, like that's crazy.
So like kill somebody and then two minutes later just be like LOL.
Like he would be really laughing like.
He'd really be laughing.
And he was so like.
Then he had this range.
He had this one tweet when he was like, yeah, I'm about to do a drop by.
I'm like, bro, like what is wrong with this man?
And the cops never did nothing for a longest time.
What was the most arranged about him is that when he started getting famous actually, like
he never really realized that like the shit he was saying was really thrown off.
Yeah.
Oh, who just pause it and edit this out?
It's fine.
Gentlemen.
It's cool.
Nothing editing can do.
Thank you.
But um, yeah, that nigga was insane.
Yeah.
And like he would be on the breakfast club about to sit there and say like, yeah, I'll
be the case.
But if I be like, but I did it.
Dirk would be like, whoa, but he never did it.
Yeah.
We know he was very crazy.
But we all feel like just being in like the music industry.
It didn't turn me on.
I just think King Bomb was fine.
That's it.
It didn't turn me on though.
But I just thought that man was fine.
That wouldn't turn you off.
How he was.
Man.
Yeah, it would.
I just think, no, I just think he's an attractive man.
Like nothing that he did turn me on like at all.
Like I didn't get horny at the fact that like he.
You said he converted his pussy.
He could.
She's trying to censor it now.
She's trying to, she's like, no way.
But I'm saying I didn't, I wouldn't get off of him like just, just knowing that like
he killed people.
That's not what gives me off.
But like he could definitely, we could, we could f**k.
I don't know.
I don't know man.
Like after hearing all that, I would be his friend.
I would.
Agent down.
I don't know how she, I would be his friend, but we wouldn't be close.
Like, right.
Keep that s**t over there.
But you know, I'm big on energy.
So like I've actually like, yeah, I think he's demonic.
You got to steer clear of certain types of people, especially people who are that willing
to opt out that type of information about themselves.
It's almost like a cry for help.
I don't think he even like, I said, I was saying like, you gotta really not care about
your life.
Like, yeah, but his, but his dad was like pretty much like a kingpin.
Like his dad was like one of the starters of like, he was like a lost soul.
Like his dad was in that and when they killed his dad, I think that's when things like,
when you kill someone, when you take a life away from somebody or if you lose someone
that's really close to you, cause even I was in a situation where like when my grandmother
passed, I was like, is there anything else to live for?
Right.
I feel that.
So like if you don't get to heal that, especially if you from the hood, especially if you from
the hood, I go, especially if you are in like in gang life anyway, cause your own parents
was there and doing all that other stuff.
Like his neighborhood, vengeance, vengeance was something that was very important to him.
It was like, I'm going to carry out my dad's legacy and y'all going to feel every single
ounce of his presence through it.
And it don't make it right, but it's, it's just like, you kind of get an understanding.
The motivation behind it.
I get it.
Yeah.
Somebody murdered your mom.
My mom not getting smooth.
Yeah.
So I can't relate.
Yeah, but like, but if she was, and then he was a lost cause, a lost soul, your pop already
set you up for failure with his life.
Yeah.
Like, first of all, like you wouldn't want to get out the game.
I wanted to ask y'all, just y'all being in like the music industry, do y'all feel like
silent rap music plays a part in the crime that we see in our communities?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Okay.
Cause I have a different opinion, but I want to hear y'all thoughts.
I want, you can go first though, cause you, you've been a little quiet.
I mean,
Respectfully, we haven't really been talking to him either.
It's true.
So that's, that's, you know, go ahead.
This is superstar, but no, um, King Vaughn specifically is a, is a, is a funny situation,
I think, because he got out of jail and went straight to stardom.
And I don't think that was like, uh, I don't think that was a coincidence.
Um, I'm a huge believer that the, like, uh, things are placed in front of us for a reason.
Even, even y'all saying that his father was, was killed early on in his life, there was
a reason for that.
And the reason, you know, he turned out that way is because he didn't have a strong leader
in his life to tell him, cause even if his dad was a kingpin, his dad probably wasn't
just out here murdering people, just, uh,
Yeah.
Senselessly.
You know what I'm saying?
And I think if he would have had a father in his life, he would have been less susceptible
to the poison that is placed in our communities.
You know what I'm saying?
So by him getting out of jail and little dirt pushing him to the, and it's so funny because
even you look at little dirt, uh, career trajectory, he pushes a lot of things in his music that
I feel is just like very questionable.
You know what I mean?
But also it looked like he don't even do hat.
I would say that.
You know, a lot of these rappers are just rappers.
They're entertainers.
They're not, they're not really, but King Vaughn is a different story.
You know what I'm saying?
The fact that, you know, they took him out.
He had his rip.
Yeah.
And that's the saddest part about it.
Yeah.
Like, you know, and I think that him, him dying and the way that he did it, it was like, it
was nothing.
It was a text right off to them because they look at it like, okay, cool.
This is what you were here to do.
You were here to push an agenda, to push this senseless murdering.
Oh, kill somebody.
LOL.
Oh, we gonna spin on your block.
Oh, that's funny.
So you think that the violent drill music makes somebody wants to like pick up a gun and
kill other people?
No.
No, I don't think that's what, what does it make you feel like?
That's what I'm asking.
Well, that's all you know.
Um, I don't necessarily feel like the music is what's causing the crime in our communities.
I really don't.
Well, no, I said, what does it make you feel like?
Oh, what does it make me feel like when I hear it?
When you listen to drill music.
Honestly, for me, I don't really listen to it like that.
I really don't listen to it like that.
But when I have heard it, it just, I don't know, it don't really do nothing for me.
It don't make me like, it don't push me the one thing.
It makes me grossly uncomfortable.
I would say as someone who grew up listening to that shit.
It is really tight.
That's what I was saying.
As someone who grew up listening to it, that was the type of shit that shit does program
you to do violent shit, bro.
Like no bullshit.
We would listen to that shit prior to doing some violent shit.
That's the whole point of putting yourself in that mood.
You're not about listening to Saadeh.
You're about to go do a drill.
But you feel real.
It's like, you don't listen to it.
How can you really speak and say that it doesn't affect the young men or young women being more
vital?
I more so feel like it has to do with like.
But no, I said, if you don't listen to it though.
But no, I don't listen to it religiously.
That's what I'm saying.
I've heard the music though.
I've heard the music and like passing.
I've heard like my siblings listen to it and stuff like that.
I'm saying I'm not like a diehard fan.
Like I'm not right.
So I'm saying like kind of like speaking to like the like statistic of it.
You get what I'm saying?
Like how can you say it doesn't like that's a good point effects on my if you can't.
That's a good point.
Yourself.
I mean, but I'm saying like I've listened to it enough where like I know like I'm not
gonna say I know because you don't know anything.
Honestly, we don't know anything.
It's Jung Boo's waking up listening to NBA Young with 9 in the morning.
Yeah, that's what they're saying.
I'm not saying this is a joke.
Yeah, and they be eating hot Cheetos and drinking a soda too.
Like they just be unhinged as shit.
Like if you woke up and listen to some other shit, I promise you your mood will be changed.
No, I'm not saying that it don't somewhat have like an impact or like it don't influence
kids like kids or just like adults in a way.
I'm not saying that.
I'm saying that I think it's a larger issue.
I think the music is just the ice and I think it does have an influence.
I'm not saying that it doesn't necessarily.
So I take it back while I say I'm not saying that it doesn't have an influence, but I think
it's very small compared to if you look at things like systemically or if you look at
like lack of policing in certain neighborhoods or just like intra community crime.
Like I feel like it's a larger scale than what we're looking at.
I don't.
I think music is very small, like on that scale.
That's a great.
I feel like media is a big part right now, especially since everyone has access to it.
Like because I will honestly say like I'm speaking from my own life experience.
It's certain drugs.
I never would have been.
What's the word I'm looking for?
Like exposed to or not even exposed, but certain shit wouldn't have been glorified to me.
If I was listening to if I was listening, like for example, when I was growing up, I wasn't
allowed to watch Love and Hip Hop or Best Go Wives or none of that shit.
Me neither.
I was like 21.
You feel me?
So it's like the music I was listening to is how I got introduced into certain drugs
and certain violent activities at a very young age.
And I watched the effect that it had on me at 14, 15, 16.
And I see the effect that it has on the younger generations at 10, 11, 12.
Yeah.
Things about me on here.
So like your cousin listens to little dirt, right?
Like he shouldn't be your fucking fifth grade.
And they know every word.
I don't even be understanding what happened to people be saying.
So I feel like it's a very big, it's a bigger influence than what we may notice.
So do you feel like that music should be like big?
Because I will not to go away, but I wasn't listening to just drill.
I was also listening to the weekend and they said rock it.
You get what I'm saying?
So like drug music as well as drill.
Like the media plays a big role in our influences and to our lives.
So I will not just say just drill music.
Just like media as a whole.
Yeah.
I see that.
So do you think that music should be like band though?
Like just like the violin music?
No.
It's all a form of expression at the end of the day.
It's like, for example, Cardi B don't let her kids listen to her music.
It's all about censoring, censorship more so within the household.
I mean,
But these parents don't be parenting because they don't have time to.
And that's literally what I was about to say.
I feel like it starts more so in the household because I went to school.
I went to school.
I went to school with kids like I'm talking about college.
I went to school with black kids who like were from way better neighborhoods than me came from families that might have been more closely knit and they listen to that type of music like, but they understood because they had strong households and strong family.
They understood that it was entertainment.
Right.
It didn't make them want to actually get up and kill somebody.
But if you're a kid in North Philly, you ain't got no pop in the crib.
You got five brothers and sisters.
Your mom barely there because she working two jobs and you eat in Cheetos and fucking hot sauce just.
Yeah.
For dinner.
Yeah, it might make you start to think, okay, this is how I should be living life because I don't have no other example.
How to live it.
Exactly.
So like it starts in the home, honestly.
And absentee parenting isn't just like someone that's physically not like theirs.
Not like a deadbeat dad or a deadbeat mom that's doing their own thing.
Like, like we said, one of the other episodes, we could tell some of y'all didn't have no big mama.
Like my mom is a single mom.
Right.
But she also has a college education.
She has graduate degrees and my grandmother was there to help.
So I was doing my homework with my grandmother.
I was home.
I went to like the best schools and everything.
So even like me listening to that type of stuff, it was like, oh yeah, this is like, this is just like shit talk to be honest because especially if it was like one of those like my mom wasn't around my dad.
I was like, well, this is their experience, but this is not my experience.
So I could take it for the art that it is, but I'm not going to be out here like, pew pew.
My experiences with music and like, like I said, just the influence that media has had on my earlier on life is one of my biggest influences in the music that I make today.
One of the reasons why I try not to like, I actually don't write necessarily cursing.
I don't give a fuck if you hate me.
It's probably the only curse word I've said.
Only curse word.
In any of the music I've created.
And I don't like to necessarily create a, I don't know, I like to put the energy I want in the world in my music more so you get what I'm saying.
So it can be an expression of something angry or sad or these different emotions, but it doesn't have to evoke this like feeling of, okay, I want to do this to this service or how.
I want to do this to this service or harm myself now.
You get what I'm saying.
And I feel like that was the undertone of a lot.
It's the undertone of a lot of music.
Even if it's not a harm myself in such a physical way, kind of like going back to like we were talking about summer Walker, a harm myself in a desperate, you get what I'm saying and putting myself in such a vulnerable or a hopeless situation that I want this person to want.
You get what I'm saying.
I don't know, I just feel like the undertone and a lot of music is so like self detrimental.
And that's not what I like to preach at all.
And that's kind of going back to like the religious him of like lift my spirit like just like shit that's gonna make us feel something.
I was actually talking about that with somebody about CISA and why especially black women, a lot of black women weren't fucking with SOS because there was a lot of self deprecation happening in the music.
And I was saying like culturally, we're viewed at as strong and we can't like really voice the way that like we can't voice those things the way that she was getting it off.
So of course we're like, we can't compute it that way. Whereas like me growing up with the other peoples self deprecation and teenage angst was a thing.
Like, you know, like they were very like it was like, it was like a huge thing myself harm when I was growing up and all these things and I was like, I couldn't get jiggy with it personally.
But I could see why other women could relate so much to CISA, especially in like the songs like special notice me and like all those other things, even like in her control days with Drew Barrymore and the weekend.
I think that's a great point.
Because like kind of speaks to like what I was saying, like the first album control right, it doesn't have that undertone of like self deprecation.
Like, like it just has this feel of like hope almost of like trying and figuring out life and like almost like optimistic undertone of like, I'm gonna figure this shit out one day.
Because we are like, like we were very much like black women in specific were for condition to be like I have to one way or another I'm going to figure this out.
Like I have to figure this out. And I'm not saying that other women didn't have to do that. But like it looked a little bit different for us always.
So we always had to like be innovative, like stay on our toes. I even remember my like even my mom, I used to get in trouble for crying.
Like to she say two tears, that's it. Let two tears drop and then you got to you got to get up and get get to it.
Like, I will be getting picked on at school and all that other stuff. My mom will be like go to the bathroom wipe your face.
Don't let the mother fucker see you sweat. And I feel like all of us as black women for a lot of for a lot of us always have like, we're going to go to the bathroom, look in the mirror and be like get your shit together and keep going.
So when CISA made SOS, and it was very like you said self depleting self deprecating a lot of black women were like straight away from that shit.
So what the fuck is this?
So so question do you think that like who's idea do you think that was you think that's actually like the space that she was in or do you think that was something her label was like you know let's kind of go with this storyline because
I think that she was in those spaces.
I think it was old.
Yeah, I think it was like orders though.
Because like good days is so fucking amazing. It makes me feel so great. It does not have the same tone that that album has. You know.
Yeah, sounds different than the rest of the album.
So that's I feel like that album was almost like I don't know if it was before control. I don't fucking know but it's just like.
But a lot of her inspirations were like Princess Diana like she were like she pop culture for her was a lot different and then remember environmentalist CISA remember what I said the whales.
Like you know, communally we don't be on that.
So I have a question going back to what we were talking about do you feel like that was her look because she couldn't afford to be who she wanted to be.
Yes.
That's the point.
And they was eating us up.
They was eating us up.
Like you know what I'm saying like she had you have to work with what you got.
Save the whales.
Because like as a community we have a very strict way of looking like you know like you can't really vary from the script.
Yeah.
And she just wasn't a part of it.
And it's like in a black community it's like you got to have certain features to be considered pretty.
I really got to have a certain body shape to be considered pretty.
It's so crazy like the different layers in the black community like colorism features and.
I love her at every stage when she was skinny when she was skinny baby.
I like the word when she was thicker with the red hair.
She always been fired up.
For me always.
We love you out here.
And every single facet of life.
Yes.
And I think that the cute your BBL is cute.
I personally I feel like you look uncomfortable.
And I feel like she looks a little heavy.
She looks like she do this every time.
Oh shit.
You know.
Like you be breathing real real hard.
But like it's all up.
It really is.
It looked like it was really hard for you to breathe.
You know the one surgery I can't get behind is the knee joints the men are getting to get taller.
Do what you got to do.
I've seen it.
It just looks unsafe.
That's the only surgery I'm probably against because it does look unsafe and it don't look like in the long run.
You won't be good.
I'm very scared.
They're going to get better.
They're going to make them more safe and they just won't start getting them.
Well, I'm going to get behind it then.
And you won't get behind it when it's a little more safer.
Because right now.
I don't believe in animal testing and all that other stuff.
But I feel like you should do trial and error on things.
That's insane to say next to me.
I don't know.
Wow.
I have a lot of niggas were here at Transplains.
I love it.
I'm not mad at it.
Because I would do it.
If I was a man.
I don't even know why women be shaming men for that.
If you don't got it then go out and get it.
Go out and get it.
I would be more mad at die.
Who?
I would be more mad at die.
Oh, the dying on it.
The dying on it.
You Beijing ass niggas.
I couldn't do this.
Once I started getting to Beijing, I had to shave it off.
I had a guy like Hat Fish me one time.
And I was so mad.
You said Hat Fish me?
Yeah.
Niggas gonna be taking off their hats.
And then when they do.
I was so mad.
Oh my God.
I hope he not watching this.
He probably is.
He is.
For sure.
The last impact.
Cracking up.
Okay.
So basically it was this guy, right?
And he was some.
He was trying to look at you.
He's from Virginia or something.
He probably ain't gonna watch it.
He is.
Okay.
You wrong for that.
I'm gonna feel like shit.
All right.
Whatever.
Fuck it.
This is like creative expression.
So anyway.
Not you trying to coach yourself.
I was once I was with my friend.
I had met this guy.
He tried to talk to me.
He had like a southern accent or whatever.
I'm gonna find out he was just visiting Philly.
And he was from Virginia.
So we exchanged numbers or whatever.
He went back to Virginia.
And then we was texting for like maybe like a whole week.
We was texting.
He was like, yeah, I want to come up and take you on a date.
I'm like, we were on a FaceTime at this point and everything.
Like he, and he has a hat on the whole time.
And then he will always have one like a du-rag.
Yeah.
He'll have one like a du-rag.
And then like he came up to take me on a date or whatever.
And he still had on a hat.
He had on a hat and a du-rag.
He was fine as shit.
Like he was fine as shit.
Y'all, I'm gonna show y'all him after this.
So what was wrong?
Um, he took it off.
No, no, no, no.
So I'm all excited.
I'm like, he took me on like a really nice day.
We went to the African-American Museum and then we went to like nifty fifties or whatever.
And then we did some other things.
And then like he went back home or whatever.
Oops.
He went back home or whatever.
And then he had like uploaded these pictures, like these modeling condolences pictures and
he didn't have on a hat.
And it was all this fucking died like in the front.
And I was like, and that was my first time that I realized I had never seen him without
a hat.
I'm just like, this man just had fishmen and I blocked him.
I blocked him like two weeks and then.
But the dying?
That's crazy.
You couldn't tell him.
I couldn't tell him.
But you could have told him.
He always had on a hat.
You are a pretty girl.
You could honestly be like, yo, babe, I don't like the dying here.
Why are you doing that?
I was too scared.
And this was like two years ago.
I didn't have the confidence to even say this.
I was like, I was just like, I would have been like, uh-uh, baby.
That's crazy.
I had blocked him, but he still follow me on Instagram, but I had blocked him and I was
just like, wrap.
Yeah, yes, but we're going to get out of here.
We're going to get out of here.
Thank you all for coming.
I really appreciate it.
Y'all was really good energy.
Thank you for having us.
We're going to have you come back on here again.
So make sure y'all follow Chiyoki.
Did I say your name right?
Right.
Yeah, no, it's Chiyoki.
I could follow me at five to cat on all platforms.
Yes.
You can follow me at robots aren't real.
Robots aren't real.
That's an interesting name.
You know what it is.
K the curator.
Here we are.
C.A.I. the curator.
And then my name is D.H.E.E. only camera K.A.M.R.I.
So make sure y'all follow all of us and make sure y'all follow the whole some black girl
page.
I'm going to drop the link in the bio and make sure that y'all also download our playlist.
I'm going to add Chiyoki's music on the playlist too.
Like, comment, and subscribe.
All right.
Bye y'all.
Bye.