1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,080 Hey y'all, it's Kayla welcome back to another episode of wholesome black girl podcast 2 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:09,860 Yes, I am your co-host 3 00:00:10,420 --> 00:00:15,160 Kayla well, she's not my co-host. She's my she's a whole she's a whole like don't call yourself that 4 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,620 I'm your host Kayla and this is 5 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,280 Camry per usual and 6 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,980 Yeah, this is what episode five 7 00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:31,000 Episode five as you can see we're in a new setup. We're in a new space 8 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:37,580 Let us know how you like it if you like it more like it less anything like that give us your feedback 9 00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,100 So yeah, let's get into it 10 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:46,340 We usually say mental health check-in, but now we're going to do a segment called life life 11 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:52,820 And basically like in this segment, we're just gonna it's the same thing 12 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:58,300 We're just gonna give you an update on where we are in life and you know what we've been doing. I feel like um 13 00:00:59,540 --> 00:01:01,540 March 14 00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:06,940 Whooping whooping ass March has been smoking me. I ain't even gonna lie 15 00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:14,940 Um, but I feel like we've had posesses as a brand too. Mm-hmm like um, you should tell them about the whole situation 16 00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:19,340 I feel like you can describe it better. Oh, okay far and posting us. Yeah far 17 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:22,000 I mean, okay, I mean, um 18 00:01:23,780 --> 00:01:25,780 He's Rihanna 19 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:31,980 Stylus along with other women and they are you go Kailani? Yeah to name a few 20 00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:37,580 He posted our business card on Twitter and Instagram 21 00:01:37,820 --> 00:01:42,940 Yes, and it's so crazy because I had no idea who that man was I 22 00:01:42,940 --> 00:01:50,340 Did but I was drunk. Okay, so what happened was wait, I asked you to tell it and I'm telling it 23 00:01:50,580 --> 00:01:52,580 Well, what happened was? 24 00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:56,660 So we were at the Ari Lennox concert actually 25 00:01:57,460 --> 00:02:05,260 We had just stopped we just came from where was it the almost famous event? Yeah? Yeah, that happened last week 26 00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:07,820 What was that the 18th? Yeah, the 18th 27 00:02:08,700 --> 00:02:10,780 so we you know 28 00:02:10,780 --> 00:02:18,780 We're talking to people I was just handing out I was handing them out and this one guy this gay guy 29 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:24,460 He was like you should just spread them all over the bar and we were like, yeah 30 00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:26,460 That's absolutely what we gonna do 31 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:33,660 So like he was helping us like put them places and everything like that and then it got into the hands of 32 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:37,660 What's his name far and Farron far well called poochie poochie? 33 00:02:37,660 --> 00:02:41,660 Poochie sorry. We're so sorry that we're pronouncing wrong 34 00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:45,900 So like I said, I don't know who that man is 35 00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:52,220 I don't know him he walked up to the bar with I think he was with a friend and 36 00:02:53,180 --> 00:02:57,260 I was sitting next to them and Kayla was talking to the white gig guy and 37 00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:01,340 They was in there laughing our business cards like they were skinned. They're like, oh my god 38 00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:05,340 Like this is a one marketing. This is great branding. They're laughing but I wasn't saying nothing 39 00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:08,780 So I tapped Kayla and I was like, Kayla they talking about our business card 40 00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:12,620 So then Kayla turned around and she tapped him and she was like, yeah, that's us. That's us 41 00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:18,380 We're hosting black girl and you're like, oh my god, like this is so clever like we love this and we had like a whole conversation with them or whatever 42 00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:22,380 Whole conversation and he's like, yeah, you know, we're gonna post it 43 00:03:23,020 --> 00:03:26,300 Um, he's like, I'm gonna post it on my on my instagram. Oh my god. That's gonna support 44 00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:29,420 So, you know, we go on to the concert or whatever 45 00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:31,980 I come back home. Totally forget 46 00:03:31,980 --> 00:03:36,620 Totally forget. No, I come back home and then 47 00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:38,380 um 48 00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:43,580 My phone blowing up. I'm like, what the fuck? So then I go on twitter and I see that he posted our business card 49 00:03:43,660 --> 00:03:45,660 And he was like, now why did he give this to me? 50 00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:49,500 He was like, now why did he give this to me and I peeped that it was fuchsia 51 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:52,220 I'm like, oh my god, like at the moment like when I was talking to him 52 00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:56,540 I didn't peep that it was him because I was kind of buzzed like I was I don't want to say I was drunk 53 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:57,980 I was just buzzed off alcohol 54 00:03:57,980 --> 00:04:02,860 So I really didn't peep that I was like talking to him, but that's kind of a positive though 55 00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:05,980 I didn't know who he was. Yeah, she didn't know he was 56 00:04:06,460 --> 00:04:09,500 But I'm like, what I'm like, wait, we was talking to him 57 00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:13,260 And I knew that it was him because he had posted like the outfit that he was wearing 58 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:16,140 I'm like, oh, that's the outfit that the person was wearing that I was talking to 59 00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:19,500 So I was kind of mad that I was too drunk to realize that we're not drunk 60 00:04:19,580 --> 00:04:20,860 But buzzed to realize that it was him 61 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,860 But I feel like it was a positive too 62 00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:25,180 Because I feel like if I was sober, I mean, no 63 00:04:25,180 --> 00:04:29,660 Yeah, I feel like if I was sober, I probably would have been a little more fanned out 64 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:33,580 But I feel like since I was buzzed and I hit that alcohol in me, I was just like myself 65 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:37,260 So that was a positive and I'm very excited about that 66 00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:39,260 The Ari Lennox concert was great 67 00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:41,900 Jaylin Josie like I love her 68 00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:45,340 Um, who else was there? I'll she wrote pressure 69 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,580 She did. Yeah. Oh wow 70 00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:51,900 Oh, wow, if you didn't know I love Jaylin Josie like that's my girl nail 71 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:56,540 Like I downloaded like all of her music, but that's like really where we are right now 72 00:04:56,540 --> 00:05:01,580 Like as a brand like we we're rebranding and now since we're in a new studio 73 00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:03,580 We can be a little more consistent 74 00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:07,740 And it's no like the beef or nothing with the previous studio we was at it's just we had 75 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:11,900 He's so busy, but we're still working with him because he's so cool 76 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:15,580 It's just his schedule was so crazy that it just didn't work with the consistency 77 00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:17,980 The consistency that we wanted to give you guys 78 00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:20,460 So it's still all up to them. We still gonna work with them 79 00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:25,180 Um, but I do want to get into like what we are personally going through 80 00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:27,180 So do you want to go first or should I go first? 81 00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:34,140 Okay, I'll go first. Okay 82 00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:40,460 So March has been very eye-opening for me in a bunch of ways 83 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,900 One of them is 84 00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:47,180 Um 85 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,300 Where should I start uh friendship? 86 00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:56,860 Friendship has been a really large motif in my life at the moment 87 00:05:58,380 --> 00:06:02,380 I am not currently happy with a certain friendship that I have 88 00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:07,420 I actually am starting not to like this person at all. Um 89 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:13,260 Like they just do things that are so inconsiderate. They speak to me very 90 00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:15,100 ill 91 00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,100 They're just just nasty 92 00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:20,300 Um, they don't listen to anything that I have to say 93 00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:24,300 They don't really care about how I feel about anything 94 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:28,700 And they don't even want me to have other friends like they feel like I am 95 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,300 Just their friend or at least that's how it feels 96 00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:35,820 And 97 00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:38,780 I'm just over it like 98 00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:43,900 You've seen the screenshots and everything of like the shit that I was I'm going through 99 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:46,540 And I be feeling bad because it's just like 100 00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:54,220 Like sometimes it's like oh this stuff is so little but I just feel so disrespected 101 00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:56,940 in this whole entire ordeal and 102 00:06:57,260 --> 00:07:00,220 It does seem as though she is a little clingy 103 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:03,420 um, I feel like 104 00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:06,060 Our generation has 105 00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:12,780 Not even just our generation just society in general has just normalized being super clingy and attached in friendships 106 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,780 and even relationships 107 00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:16,620 so 108 00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:18,620 I don't know. Um 109 00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:24,700 I don't know. I don't feel like she's necessarily a bad person. Like I don't think she's a bad person 110 00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:29,020 I don't think that she's a bad person either. I just think that she's bad for me. Yeah bad for you 111 00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:31,580 And I don't want to be friends with her no more 112 00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:35,500 And it's been really hard for me trying to figure out how to like say that 113 00:07:36,220 --> 00:07:40,540 Especially because like in a couple weeks where we're supposed to do something 114 00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:46,300 Right, I don't want to get into like huge specifics because I know that this is about to cause like a ruckus 115 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,380 Oh, oh shit, I even think 116 00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:54,620 Like this is about to 117 00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:59,340 This is about to be something but like I really just am exhausted 118 00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:03,180 And I don't even know how to explain how I feel right now 119 00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:07,820 Just because like every time I say that something is bothering me 120 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,540 I'm met with well, that's just how I am 121 00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:16,540 Or will you do this too? And it's like we're not talking about me. We're talking about 122 00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:20,780 You and your actions and I hate the deflection 123 00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:23,980 And I hate that 124 00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:29,420 Somehow some way it's always my fault, especially like the last time where I asked her like why you 125 00:08:30,380 --> 00:08:32,380 Like I asked her why she did something 126 00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:39,980 And then she like addressed it like two days later like why did you say this and I'm like because that's how you speak to me 127 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,020 and 128 00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:47,340 We basically went down a rabbit hole and it was basically like I got my own shit going on right now 129 00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:49,420 I have a lot to think about I have a lot to 130 00:08:50,140 --> 00:08:52,380 figure out on my own and like 131 00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:54,460 like 132 00:08:54,460 --> 00:08:59,740 I like you're not helping and essentially she was like well don't bring that on me because 133 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:03,820 Like you're taking all this stuff out on me and I didn't even do anything 134 00:09:03,980 --> 00:09:06,300 but the whole thing that I said to her was 135 00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:07,820 that 136 00:09:07,820 --> 00:09:13,260 You do this and it makes me feel this way and that's why I'm frustrated 137 00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:19,900 And it was to the point where I just ended up apologizing and everything because it's just like I don't even have it in me 138 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:26,220 To argue like I'm not about to argue with you. I'm not about to see you and go back and forth 139 00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:32,140 All right, since you feel like it was me that was in the wrong. All right, cool. I'm wrong like 140 00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:37,900 Some people hate that about me, but I'm exhausted like 141 00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:42,460 I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted from everything to be honest everything 142 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:45,500 Like y'all friendship will make it by the end of the year. No 143 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,660 I don't even wanted to make it by the end of the year at this point right now 144 00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:53,420 Like I'm just really trying to figure out the best way to say it 145 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,340 Oh 146 00:09:55,340 --> 00:10:00,220 I ain't gonna lie. I don't even I can't even say that I know how to do that like how to just end the friendship 147 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:08,380 This isn't working like it feels like a breakup. Yeah, it is difficult to do and I feel like she'll think that it's out of nowhere 148 00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:11,580 Because she's so 149 00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:13,580 I don't know where because it's like 150 00:10:14,140 --> 00:10:19,420 I feel like you've been like a little irritated with her and I don't even think that she really peeps it 151 00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:23,580 Oh, especially since I'm just like, all right, cool. Whatever you got it 152 00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:25,580 Yeah 153 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:29,900 Okay, yeah, I don't know I would even know how to like 154 00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,060 start that 155 00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:36,140 I don't even know how to start the conversation and every time I try like she looked like 156 00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:45,260 I'm not even going to talk about that because I'll make things too specific. Yeah. Yeah, but there's there's been instances where it's like 157 00:10:46,140 --> 00:10:52,460 questioning like my communication and things of that nature and I'm just like I'm just going through it but 158 00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:56,860 I am going through it, but it's really like I don't want to talk to you 159 00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:02,300 Right, and I feel like a shitty ass person to feel like that. Like I just don't want to talk to you like 160 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:07,660 You're getting on my nerves every time you text me every time you call me. I roll my eyes like 161 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:13,180 Type shit. Yeah, once you reach that point where like I'm going through stuff and I can't even tell my friend about it 162 00:11:13,180 --> 00:11:15,180 I feel like that's one 163 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,860 It's time to it kind of reminds me of like 164 00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:26,620 In a way like if you ever watch insecure Miley and Issa's friendship. Yeah, it kind of reminds me of that. I don't I don't know 165 00:11:27,180 --> 00:11:32,140 I don't I don't know it just reminds me of that like she gives me like Miley vibes and you're like more like 166 00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:40,860 Um, and I know like she would really be upset if I said like it's like jealousy there or something like that 167 00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:42,860 But that's what it feels like 168 00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:45,420 It feels like animosity 169 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,900 It feels like jealousy 170 00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:49,900 I 171 00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:52,380 See 172 00:11:53,260 --> 00:12:00,380 But also like it's confirmation too like everybody in the group chat like yo like she's bugging the fuck out and I'm like, okay, cool 173 00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:03,420 And I'm trying and that's the thing like 174 00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:07,820 When I send everything I send what I'm saying and what she's saying too 175 00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:13,180 So I'm not sugarcoating anything and I'm always open to seeing like 176 00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:16,220 When people tell me that I'm wrong 177 00:12:16,220 --> 00:12:21,340 Right, and I think the only thing that I'm doing wrong right now is acting like I'm okay with this friendship and I'm not 178 00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:27,740 I feel you I feel like I've I've been here before but 179 00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:32,140 The difference is like with my friendships. I feel like we just even should be just 180 00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:38,700 Like I don't even think it was ever like a I've never had a conversation where it's like, oh, I'm not cool 181 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,500 It's just like we just fell out 182 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:46,780 Yeah, I I wanted to be like that. I just want to stop talking to her but I don't think like 183 00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:53,020 She's gonna allow that to happen. So I might really have to actually have a conversation with her and be like listen, bro 184 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,740 No, I don't want this no more 185 00:12:56,060 --> 00:13:00,220 And I'm also like damn I might regret it because this might just be a growing pain 186 00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:03,740 But it's just like I just don't like her energy 187 00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:08,140 Yeah, and quite frankly, I'm just starting not to like her 188 00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:11,180 And I feel so bad 189 00:13:11,180 --> 00:13:12,940 How do you feel bad? 190 00:13:12,940 --> 00:13:14,940 because like 191 00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:24,620 I feel like with stuff like this especially like friendships and female friendships female friendships mean a lot to me because I 192 00:13:24,780 --> 00:13:26,780 Haven't had good experiences with them 193 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:33,740 Yeah, and I'm like this is no real like I often feel like men don't go through the things that women do 194 00:13:34,060 --> 00:13:35,740 because 195 00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,740 I don't know. I feel like 196 00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:41,100 Women like we're just taught to be 197 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:43,900 We're conditioned to be competitive with one another 198 00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:51,740 So I feel like sometimes that's where the friction comes from in female friendships because we always feel like we gotta compete with one another 199 00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:56,140 Um, yeah, I was actually what should I give I should give 200 00:13:56,940 --> 00:13:59,420 My man a nickname. That's not my man 201 00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:03,740 You know how poor minds be doing nicknames for them for them in 202 00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:08,940 Yeah, I was I was gonna say that too because I got cold then I'm a talker ball. I gotta give him a nickname 203 00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:10,620 Let me see 204 00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:13,180 What does he give what energy does he give? 205 00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:16,940 um 206 00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:22,220 R.T. Carefree like 207 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:26,060 Damn, but we need like a clever name 208 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:31,740 We need a clever name. We don't gotta come up with a name now. You can just say my man for now until you come up 209 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:34,700 I'm tired of saying my man my man my man 210 00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:40,460 I don't know why but talk about him like what's going on with him 211 00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:49,900 Don't you want to talk about your video at how it loves you all right? 212 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:54,780 I really love him. I love him so much. She do and she really be like 213 00:14:56,060 --> 00:15:00,220 I feel like he'll be tripping out. Yo like she we just had a whole conference 214 00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:05,500 Just on our way here in the back of the uber. She's sitting here hyper analyze everything that this man do 215 00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:09,260 I was literally just saying like I'm not talking to him no more 216 00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:15,580 I'm just gonna stop talking to him because I'm that way too when I'm talking to somebody like I've had attention to your mannerisms 217 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,660 like 218 00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:20,220 I'll pay attention to everything the way you look at me like 219 00:15:20,940 --> 00:15:26,780 Your body language all of it like I'm this I'm literally the same way, but it's so funny like hearing it from kevla 220 00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:29,580 I don't know why when I'm the same fucking way 221 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:33,020 I think because I'm not the type of person to overthink 222 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,460 Yeah, I 223 00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:41,900 Know you overthink but it's not like obsessive over thinking like how mine is like I was text kevla like 224 00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:45,900 Yo, just niggas did this and I will literally think about I will analyze 225 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,980 everything 226 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,980 Everything from the time you sent a text 227 00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:56,540 To I don't know the wording in the text. Yeah, I will break it down kevla will overthink but she's not doing all that 228 00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,140 Yeah, I'll be like 229 00:15:58,140 --> 00:16:00,140 Damn this nigga don't fuck with me no more 230 00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:04,140 And that's where I'm at right now like I'm in love with him and he don't fuck with me 231 00:16:04,540 --> 00:16:06,380 she 232 00:16:06,380 --> 00:16:09,340 I don't know why she keeps saying that he don't fuck with her now bitch the nigga 233 00:16:09,340 --> 00:16:11,740 I was fucking with he ain't fucked with me and I felt like nicky parker 234 00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:14,140 So 235 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:17,340 No, I was nicky parker bitch 236 00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:23,900 I was I was feeling like nicky parker and here's why I say I was feeling like nicky parker or I do feel like nicky parker 237 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:25,740 I'd be like 238 00:16:25,740 --> 00:16:27,740 Oh 239 00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:29,980 I'd be like let me see if he gonna text me 240 00:16:30,940 --> 00:16:32,940 Then I can't wait for it 241 00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:34,940 Because I just want to talk to him 242 00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:37,100 So then I text him 243 00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:39,740 And I'm like girl you failed step one 244 00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:41,900 like 245 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,820 I just be trying to figure it out 246 00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:45,820 But like it's not that I 247 00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:48,540 I don't have it figured out and it's not that he's not 248 00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:53,260 A good dude because he really really is like I admire him so much 249 00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:55,260 I'm just 250 00:16:55,660 --> 00:17:02,300 Afraid and he always say like well, I'm not allowed to be and I'm like no niggas you're not 251 00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:05,020 You have no idea like 252 00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:12,540 It's such a weird space to being right now because like I admire him and who he is as a person so much 253 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:18,460 To the point where I'm just like am I enough like that's what I've been going through a lot in March to like 254 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:21,100 internalizing 255 00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:22,700 so much 256 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:26,300 Like am I enough for him like am I interesting enough? 257 00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:29,420 Am I pretty enough am I enough like 258 00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:35,660 And it makes me like he does some stuff that I'm not even going to get into but 259 00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:38,140 It's little things that I notice 260 00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:40,860 That make me feel that way too 261 00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:45,980 You sound like me the last I'm I'm just like oh god like 262 00:17:47,260 --> 00:17:49,740 Yeah, I think I really know that feeling 263 00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:52,700 I'm happy that I heard you say that not that I'm happy you feeling that way 264 00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:57,020 I'm just saying like it just feels good to know that I'm not the only one because I be thinking that way sometimes too 265 00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,100 when I be dealing with certain 266 00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:05,180 I'll be I'll be really thinking that way like am I enough like I don't understand like am I cute enough like yeah 267 00:18:05,580 --> 00:18:08,940 I definitely I definitely and I hate this like 268 00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:13,740 He makes me feel very beautiful, but he also makes me feel super ugly 269 00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:16,540 And I hate to admit this 270 00:18:16,540 --> 00:18:19,980 I hate to admit this that's like that's the point of this podcast 271 00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:26,060 Because I have always prided myself in being like listen a nigga can make me feel a lot of shit 272 00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,540 Yeah, but he can't make me feel ugly 273 00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,900 But sometimes he makes me feel ugly 274 00:18:32,620 --> 00:18:34,140 I feel like 275 00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:38,220 with the I guess this kind of segues into like some of the topics I wanted to talk about 276 00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:41,900 I feel like with some of the minute I've dealt with 277 00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:44,700 um 278 00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:46,700 Just doing like 279 00:18:46,940 --> 00:18:50,700 Recently in the month of March just doing like some shadow work and stuff like that 280 00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:55,020 I feel like a lot of men that I've dealt with since they treated me so shitty 281 00:18:55,980 --> 00:19:00,460 It's also had had an impact on how I look at myself physically 282 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,180 and so for the 283 00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:05,260 first time in my life 284 00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:09,900 I've always had days where I felt shitty or I just feel insecure, but I've never felt ugly 285 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:15,580 And this is a first like I really hate and then this is well, but this is really the purpose of this podcast 286 00:19:16,140 --> 00:19:17,420 um 287 00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:19,340 This is my first time feeling ugly 288 00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:23,500 Like I just don't feel attractive because when I look back at the minute I've dealt with 289 00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:27,420 I'm just like they've all treated me like shit. So I'm you know, you internalize it 290 00:19:27,420 --> 00:19:29,420 And you're like, is there something wrong with me? 291 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:34,380 Like am I just not that bitch? Like am I not attractive or something like that? Like I've I've accepted 292 00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:37,580 the bare minimum for men like 293 00:19:37,580 --> 00:19:41,340 literally and now I'm kind of getting to the point where 294 00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:47,660 I'm also realizing I've never actually dealt with a man that was like sure about me like never 295 00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:52,620 um, even the last two relationships that I was in like them niggas was not sure about me 296 00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:57,180 They weren't they treated me like crap if you were sure about me, you would not treat me like that 297 00:19:57,260 --> 00:20:04,060 You wouldn't so and it's like I'm about to be 24 in like a month and I feel like damn like I've never actually 298 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,500 had like 299 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:12,380 Good experiences with men like I've never actually really hate this 300 00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:17,900 I can count on my hand how many dates I've been on and it kind of makes me again 301 00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:20,780 I internalize it and it also makes me angry at myself 302 00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:27,740 But then I also realized that like that has everything to do with like my daddy issues. I have extreme daddy issues 303 00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:29,580 um 304 00:20:29,580 --> 00:20:34,780 My dad always gave me the bare minimum. So I feel like that's why I've accepted the bare minimum for men 305 00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:36,460 um 306 00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:38,620 so yeah, I've been dealing a lot with like 307 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,500 issues surrounding like my 308 00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:43,500 My looks 309 00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:47,180 And I'm trying to since it's a new feeling. I'm trying to figure out how to 310 00:20:48,060 --> 00:20:49,580 get through that 311 00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:54,060 Since it's a new feeling. I don't know how to I don't even know how to process it or get through it because it's a new feeling for me 312 00:20:54,140 --> 00:20:56,140 I'd really just feel very 313 00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:58,220 I really do 314 00:20:58,220 --> 00:21:00,460 um, and I've I've also been having like 315 00:21:01,740 --> 00:21:03,740 Body image issues as well 316 00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:08,140 Um, like I said, I am turning 24 in like a month and I feel like um 317 00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:14,300 Entering my mid 20s. I really hate the fact that I have a baby face. I really do. I hate it 318 00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:16,460 I feel like I don't have that grown woman look 319 00:21:17,020 --> 00:21:23,740 I feel like I don't look like I feel like I look like a kid and I hate it so much and it's like I'm so skinny 320 00:21:23,820 --> 00:21:24,540 I'm 321 00:21:24,540 --> 00:21:26,540 Skinniest I've ever been in my life 322 00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:32,540 And I've just been struggling with that. Usually my weight is on and off, but recently I've just been bony 323 00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:39,180 Like I've just been bony and I just don't feel like a woman and you know sometimes I don't want to sound like 324 00:21:40,060 --> 00:21:44,780 I don't want to sound like the the light-skinned girls in the black community when they talk about their struggles with being light-skinned 325 00:21:44,860 --> 00:21:47,260 I'm not trying to do that, but um 326 00:21:48,780 --> 00:21:52,060 A lot of times in the black community, they really do make you feel 327 00:21:52,620 --> 00:21:59,500 Crappy when you're like a really small girl the comments that they the comments that I've gotten and like the things that people say to me 328 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:02,460 Like it really does it really has done a number on me 329 00:22:03,020 --> 00:22:06,780 And I just feel like okay. I'm about to be 24. So I need to look a particular way 330 00:22:07,020 --> 00:22:10,860 I was even on um the wholesome black girl page and I was saying yeah, like I'm gonna gain weight 331 00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:12,620 I'm gonna document my journey 332 00:22:12,620 --> 00:22:14,620 but now I'm just starting to 333 00:22:15,660 --> 00:22:18,380 Now when I look back I realized I'm like no, you know, it's fine 334 00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:22,460 Like whatever way I am by the time my 24 comes around that's the way that I am like I'm not even gonna 335 00:22:22,860 --> 00:22:28,460 Obsess over anymore. I'm not even gonna attempt to gain weight. I'm just gonna whatever it is is what it is like 336 00:22:28,460 --> 00:22:30,460 So that's where I've been 337 00:22:31,260 --> 00:22:33,260 Um, I've also 338 00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:38,220 I got kind of a nickname for this man. I'm gonna just call him. I'm gonna just call him new year 339 00:22:39,340 --> 00:22:42,380 I've also cut him. No, we're gonna call him bk 340 00:22:42,940 --> 00:22:44,140 Bk why bk? 341 00:22:44,140 --> 00:22:46,140 Aint he from Brooklyn or he from the Bronx Harlem? 342 00:22:46,860 --> 00:22:52,460 Okay, we're gonna call him Harlem Knights. Okay. Yeah, we're gonna call him Harlem Knights 343 00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:57,500 Um, I recently cut him off. I'm not even gonna express like some stuff. I believe you just gotta take to the grave 344 00:22:57,500 --> 00:23:00,540 Yeah, I'm just gonna take this thing to the grave. He did something 345 00:23:01,260 --> 00:23:07,180 To me that I really that was like the final straw for me like him faking being on a ventilator was not the final straw for me 346 00:23:07,580 --> 00:23:12,860 Him faking his name was not the final straw for me him faking his grandma's death was not the final straw for me 347 00:23:13,340 --> 00:23:19,340 Yes, this was this particular incident that he did this last week was the final fucking straw for me 348 00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:24,540 And I don't know why that was a final straw for me, but it was and I deleted his number 349 00:23:24,540 --> 00:23:27,980 I deleted I deleted the contact and I blocked him 350 00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:35,340 So I really have no way of like contacting him at all like I said I'm about to be 24 351 00:23:35,660 --> 00:23:39,740 I'm not dealing with this shit no more because honestly it was going on like two years that I'd known this nigga 352 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:42,460 and I was still dealing with this nigga and 353 00:23:43,260 --> 00:23:45,260 The situation that made me like 354 00:23:45,580 --> 00:23:46,620 well 355 00:23:46,620 --> 00:23:52,380 He did what he did and then that same day. I still wanted to fucking and I was so mad at myself afterwards 356 00:23:52,380 --> 00:23:56,780 I'm like, why the fuck would you do this? Like why would you do this? I was so mad and that's when I went home 357 00:23:56,780 --> 00:24:00,460 And I did I did that whole process of like just deleting him on my phone and everything 358 00:24:00,860 --> 00:24:03,020 But that shit was very out of line what he did 359 00:24:03,580 --> 00:24:05,580 and that's where I've been also 360 00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:14,700 I've been dealing with um, my mom was recently diagnosed with cancer. So I've been dealing with that while also trying to juggle working in 361 00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:20,700 Podcasting and building a brand and it's really a struggle. It's really a struggle 362 00:24:20,700 --> 00:24:22,700 um 363 00:24:22,780 --> 00:24:27,500 I don't even know how to I don't I don't think anybody knows how to deal with finding out that your parent has 364 00:24:28,140 --> 00:24:31,100 Cancer like nobody knows how to deal with it. Um 365 00:24:32,620 --> 00:24:38,060 And it's I guess like ever since I found out it's just been making me want to spend more time with my mom 366 00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:41,660 I also realized I don't even have a lot of pictures like recent pictures with my mom 367 00:24:41,820 --> 00:24:44,140 I don't I'm like I need to take more pictures with my mom 368 00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:48,300 um now that type of cancer my mom has it's very rare 369 00:24:48,940 --> 00:24:50,300 um and 370 00:24:50,300 --> 00:24:56,620 She should be cool after she does like um a couple rounds of like chemotherapy, which makes me feel like way better 371 00:24:57,260 --> 00:24:59,260 but it's still 372 00:24:59,340 --> 00:25:03,900 I don't know it's you still gonna feel a way just this this is this effect that it's a possibility 373 00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:07,340 Like this even a small chance of like for real like it scares me 374 00:25:07,500 --> 00:25:10,860 It's so scared that one percent chance it scares me. So 375 00:25:11,980 --> 00:25:16,860 Um, that's that's really where I've been in life right now. Um anything else you want to talk about? 376 00:25:16,860 --> 00:25:19,900 Um since we're bringing up moms 377 00:25:21,180 --> 00:25:23,180 I'm tired of that lady too 378 00:25:24,780 --> 00:25:31,180 I'm really tired of everybody like I can't lie if you can't tell by like 379 00:25:32,780 --> 00:25:35,580 My demeanor and what I look like I look a freaking mess 380 00:25:35,660 --> 00:25:39,660 I was about to say that like your energy like not to her energy like not that she's like 381 00:25:40,380 --> 00:25:45,180 I don't know like boring or anything. I'm not saying it but I could I could like anybody that watches the podcast 382 00:25:45,180 --> 00:25:47,180 You could assist to her energy. It's just all 383 00:25:48,620 --> 00:25:54,140 She's a different color today like right now. I'm like who I am on a regular basis every day 384 00:25:55,100 --> 00:26:01,340 But like if you cannot tell I have no makeup on I have mascara and lip lip gloss on 385 00:26:01,980 --> 00:26:05,340 Like, you know, that's not even my steed bro. Like that's not even me 386 00:26:06,060 --> 00:26:12,300 But like I've been so exhausted just trying to juggle everything and then like my mom and I are not 387 00:26:12,300 --> 00:26:16,940 Not getting along and that's such a weird weird thing 388 00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:20,700 Not that we're not getting along because we never really got along but 389 00:26:22,940 --> 00:26:25,740 It's more real this time for some reason like 390 00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:28,940 Usually you will fall out 391 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:31,180 and be cool the next day, but like 392 00:26:32,780 --> 00:26:35,740 This hurts like I feel like I'm losing my best friend 393 00:26:35,740 --> 00:26:44,380 And that that does hurt that does hurt because your mom is really supposed to be your best friend and your mother 394 00:26:44,620 --> 00:26:47,100 That's really like my whole world like 395 00:26:48,540 --> 00:26:51,980 And it's awful some it's awful dumb stuff like 396 00:26:52,780 --> 00:26:56,220 Just like me becoming an adult me dating 397 00:26:57,020 --> 00:26:59,020 Me like exploring myself 398 00:27:00,460 --> 00:27:03,020 Getting new friendships like she hates everybody 399 00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:05,020 Everybody 400 00:27:05,260 --> 00:27:11,260 Honestly, like that's really I was telling except except the one friend that I don't even want to be friends with no more 401 00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:14,220 How ironic 402 00:27:14,220 --> 00:27:18,380 Look, I was literally telling killer this like it was the same way with my mom. Um 403 00:27:19,420 --> 00:27:23,260 My mom like as I was transitioning into like womanhood like 404 00:27:25,580 --> 00:27:28,700 And I know my mom watches them. I'm sorry mom, but she was bitch like 405 00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:35,580 She literally like I couldn't do anything like if I went out like she would clock me on doing that 406 00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:40,220 She didn't like any of the friends that I had like I was in a relationship. She didn't like that man at all 407 00:27:40,860 --> 00:27:46,380 Um, and it'd be over nothing and it just like controlling and I was grown and she was so controlling 408 00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:48,700 But it's like once I moved out of the house 409 00:27:49,660 --> 00:27:51,580 It's like now my mom is like, oh my god 410 00:27:51,580 --> 00:27:57,340 Like I want to spend time with you like I promise you as soon as you move out like your mom is going to be like 411 00:27:57,340 --> 00:28:02,300 Like on your dick like I'm telling you even with the whole like trying to move out process 412 00:28:02,380 --> 00:28:08,780 The shit is just so stressful because I'm just like I'm doing this shit by myself. I don't know anything 413 00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:14,060 Inflation is crazy. I hate my job and even though like 414 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:16,860 I also, you know 415 00:28:16,940 --> 00:28:18,780 Kayla's to greet up 416 00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:22,380 You know and I have to pay the I have to pay the government back 417 00:28:23,020 --> 00:28:25,980 Like it's all these things and I'm like I gotta 418 00:28:25,980 --> 00:28:27,980 Like I gotta get myself together 419 00:28:28,780 --> 00:28:30,780 And I feel 420 00:28:31,340 --> 00:28:35,740 I'm not even gonna lie to you like right now. I feel like super hopeless because 421 00:28:36,940 --> 00:28:38,940 Kayla always has it together 422 00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:41,260 Because Kayla always has help 423 00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:49,100 But Kayla is falling apart and it's just like I can't I feel like I can't depend on anybody right now 424 00:28:49,740 --> 00:28:51,740 Definitely 425 00:28:51,740 --> 00:28:54,220 It's really not I definitely know 426 00:28:54,220 --> 00:28:56,220 I definitely know how you feel 427 00:28:56,620 --> 00:28:58,620 Especially when you at parents that 428 00:28:59,260 --> 00:29:05,740 Um, they've helped you and someone got you like a little bit established and they like you're doing everything by yourself like it is 429 00:29:06,940 --> 00:29:12,460 Um, but it really don't last long because I've been in your shoes like for real like it does not last for long 430 00:29:12,780 --> 00:29:15,740 Like that's I feel like that's what come with adulthood like you really 431 00:29:16,380 --> 00:29:22,060 Everybody goes through that on this one. Like it's just a it's a shitty ass feeling that you really got to get through 432 00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:27,580 Like I'm just like my mom was supposed to help me file my income taxes, which like shoot 433 00:29:27,820 --> 00:29:29,820 That's due at the end of this month. Yes 434 00:29:30,140 --> 00:29:34,780 Like within the last yeah like the last week like like literally next week 435 00:29:35,020 --> 00:29:41,580 Yes, it's dude and I'm like shit. I gotta do that. I gotta do so much like being an adult like every time you turn around 436 00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:47,820 It's some shit to do. Yeah, and I'm just like, oh my gosh like I don't even have like an actual credit card in my name 437 00:29:47,820 --> 00:29:51,580 So I have to apply for that. Good thing. My credit is pretty good 438 00:29:51,580 --> 00:29:53,580 And I could get like approved for one 439 00:29:53,980 --> 00:30:00,780 But like even down to like trying to apply like which ones do you apply for because that can knock your credit score down 440 00:30:00,860 --> 00:30:04,140 If you apply like I'm gonna all of this stuff by myself like 441 00:30:04,780 --> 00:30:10,700 By myself and the fact that my mom is here and every time I ask her a question because I'm not doing 442 00:30:11,020 --> 00:30:14,940 What she wants me to do she's gatekeeper information that shit is really fucking sick 443 00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:17,740 It is sick and I hate it 444 00:30:18,700 --> 00:30:22,220 And I'm just so disappointed in every how everything is going 445 00:30:23,180 --> 00:30:25,180 and like I'm just 446 00:30:26,460 --> 00:30:29,420 You gonna see it through I know that's that's what bad bitches do 447 00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:34,940 I'm just like I found this great ass guy that I really love being around 448 00:30:35,660 --> 00:30:40,460 And I overthink everything every five seconds. Sorry if you're watching this even though 449 00:30:41,260 --> 00:30:43,260 Child you never watched the whole thing anyway 450 00:30:43,260 --> 00:30:46,860 Oh, that's a problem. You need to be watching the whole thing 451 00:30:47,660 --> 00:30:50,860 But I'm just like I found somebody that I really 452 00:30:51,580 --> 00:30:52,860 enjoy 453 00:30:52,860 --> 00:30:58,860 Yes, that's great. And then everything else is just like a fucking shit show and I'm just like 454 00:31:00,540 --> 00:31:05,180 We gonna get it together even with just seeing how like our brand is coming together like just 455 00:31:05,500 --> 00:31:11,100 Yeah, it's just in those two. It's like the brand is going great. I found a great person 456 00:31:11,100 --> 00:31:16,140 And maybe I should ask him for more help or more support not like financially or anything 457 00:31:16,700 --> 00:31:18,700 Ask anybody 458 00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:23,580 Low key I just feel like he doesn't have the capacity for it because he got his own stuff going on 459 00:31:23,660 --> 00:31:26,380 And I kind of just want to be there for him for that like 460 00:31:27,900 --> 00:31:31,580 And then I think to myself like why are you making why are you shrinking yourself? 461 00:31:31,900 --> 00:31:38,540 Yeah to fit into like his like everybody life to be honest like that's what I've been doing 462 00:31:38,540 --> 00:31:45,900 Yeah, it's shrinking myself like packing myself down so I can fit in his life and my other friends life 463 00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:47,980 like 464 00:31:47,980 --> 00:31:51,820 And my mom's life and I just feel really drained and I 465 00:31:52,300 --> 00:31:58,220 Have no one to talk to about it for real other than you can but I don't want to like dump that all on you 466 00:31:58,620 --> 00:31:59,900 No, I'll be yo 467 00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:03,500 I'll be feeling the same way sometimes because sometimes I'll be written to kill about certain stuff 468 00:32:03,980 --> 00:32:05,980 Yeah, let me let me go to my 469 00:32:05,980 --> 00:32:15,020 But I don't I don't ever feel that way I don't feel that way because I feel like I've been through that experience before so I know how you feel so it's never like 470 00:32:16,300 --> 00:32:18,220 too much for me 471 00:32:18,220 --> 00:32:19,580 but 472 00:32:19,580 --> 00:32:21,580 I do want to segue into 473 00:32:22,220 --> 00:32:23,100 our 474 00:32:23,100 --> 00:32:25,100 next segment 475 00:32:26,780 --> 00:32:30,300 Dark depressing deep shit and we want to get into the punch though 476 00:32:30,300 --> 00:32:36,700 So we have a new segment and it's called wholesome chats and basically in this segment 477 00:32:36,780 --> 00:32:41,260 We are going to discuss all things sex while simons. Hey me. Uh simons. Haneously 478 00:32:42,220 --> 00:32:47,260 Segwaying all other areas of life and love into our sex-positive conversations 479 00:32:47,580 --> 00:32:52,940 So the first topic that we have because me and kelly would just talk about this. We want to talk about female rap 480 00:32:53,660 --> 00:32:56,860 Y'all bitches suck like no recent cut. Okay 481 00:32:56,860 --> 00:33:02,140 So y'all know that I'm a female rap connoisseur anybody that knows me knows that but recently 482 00:33:02,620 --> 00:33:07,340 I've been like so depressed and I haven't been like this depressed in a long ass time 483 00:33:07,660 --> 00:33:10,700 So I was like, you know what? Let me put on some female rap 484 00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:17,020 And I'm sitting here listening to like the lyrics and I'm just like damn like it just like they was attacking me 485 00:33:17,100 --> 00:33:20,540 I was like what the fuck so I can only listen to this music when I'm happy because 486 00:33:20,940 --> 00:33:25,660 This is my first time listening to female rap in like a depressed state and I'm realizing that 487 00:33:25,660 --> 00:33:32,620 A lot of female rap like it's not I feel like it's not as great as it's a need for more humanizing 488 00:33:33,340 --> 00:33:40,380 Vulnerable female rap that's censored around the the female or more specifically the black female experience because 489 00:33:40,860 --> 00:33:47,100 These bitches I was the regular black girl experience. We're not talking about the bad bitches because obviously 490 00:33:47,340 --> 00:33:50,220 I'm not saying that we're ugly and I'm not saying 491 00:33:50,220 --> 00:33:56,380 That I think that yeah, like I really do look like just a regular black girl walking down the street 492 00:33:57,180 --> 00:34:01,500 And I and I don't feel like I don't feel like y'all are making me 493 00:34:02,060 --> 00:34:06,860 At least not when I'm depressed like you're not making me feel like that bitch like I don't they never made me feel like that 494 00:34:06,860 --> 00:34:13,660 They be calling me broke because I like coaching Michael Coors like y'all be calling me dumb because I had feelings for somebody 495 00:34:13,660 --> 00:34:15,660 I could like well damn 496 00:34:15,660 --> 00:34:17,660 Like and even like 497 00:34:21,980 --> 00:34:27,980 I don't care like I like to think because Kayla hate these bitches. I hate you. I hate you bitches 498 00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:38,300 Like I don't give a fuck I don't care you want to know why because y'all say this stuff and y'all don't even love yourselves 499 00:34:38,620 --> 00:34:40,220 As soon as you get 500 00:34:40,220 --> 00:34:45,420 Some money from your damn label the first thing you do is go and get a bbl in a fucking boob job 501 00:34:45,740 --> 00:34:50,300 You disappear for two to three months and you come out with a whole new body and a writer 502 00:34:50,460 --> 00:34:52,860 Like it's nothing wrong with getting a bbl 503 00:34:52,860 --> 00:34:57,660 But it's like y'all be forgetting where y'all like y'all shit on everybody not even it's not a 504 00:34:58,300 --> 00:34:59,660 You know what? 505 00:34:59,660 --> 00:35:05,100 I am judging the bbl bitches. Okay. Okay. You want to know why that's okay. You want to know why? 506 00:35:06,300 --> 00:35:08,300 because 507 00:35:08,300 --> 00:35:10,300 Like you said 508 00:35:10,380 --> 00:35:14,780 They forget where they come from or they forget that they used to look like a regular 509 00:35:15,420 --> 00:35:21,420 A regular black girl a regular mixed girl and it's like you like you 510 00:35:22,300 --> 00:35:24,860 You do all this you get your body done 511 00:35:25,340 --> 00:35:27,820 You don't even disclose that you get your body done 512 00:35:28,140 --> 00:35:31,020 You be acting like you took flat tummy tea 513 00:35:31,660 --> 00:35:35,820 And that going eight a vegan bird diet with seeds and nuts and shit 514 00:35:35,820 --> 00:35:40,540 And you got the body that you have right now. That's one two. It's like 515 00:35:41,260 --> 00:35:43,420 What was wrong with what you looked like before? 516 00:35:43,980 --> 00:35:45,980 Really sit there and unpack that 517 00:35:46,140 --> 00:35:48,300 I really don't want to talk about that because 518 00:35:49,420 --> 00:35:54,860 Okay, first of all, especially since I just seen that dochi got her whole body like she got a bbl 519 00:35:55,260 --> 00:35:57,580 Why her body was banging 520 00:35:58,380 --> 00:36:03,340 I literally I really I really almost cried now with scissor. I was like 521 00:36:03,340 --> 00:36:06,540 I get it. I get it because her music 522 00:36:07,260 --> 00:36:11,180 I like you knew that she was like insecure at some point because she said it 523 00:36:11,820 --> 00:36:16,940 Even though she looks like the michelin man. I don't mean any harm by that. It just doesn't look right 524 00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:23,500 It just doesn't look right 525 00:36:23,580 --> 00:36:27,260 Like and that's what I'm saying like y'all get like y'all want 526 00:36:27,980 --> 00:36:31,980 Desiree ability so bad that shows like okay 527 00:36:31,980 --> 00:36:35,660 I just want to say that I am pro so pro surgery my bad 528 00:36:36,300 --> 00:36:42,300 But I do feel like it's something to be said when we are noticing that a lot of the regular degilablai girls are 529 00:36:43,100 --> 00:36:44,140 just 530 00:36:44,140 --> 00:36:45,740 getting 531 00:36:45,740 --> 00:36:49,020 Plastic surgery like do you not feel like you are you're enough? 532 00:36:49,260 --> 00:36:55,180 But even with scissor look at how much she changed. She got a nose job. She got lip fillers. She got 533 00:36:56,060 --> 00:36:59,820 like she got so much done and like that really 534 00:36:59,820 --> 00:37:05,020 I think she's the last straw for me and I don't even mean it in like a hate and ass way 535 00:37:05,020 --> 00:37:09,980 But also like how I view myself because when the first like 536 00:37:11,820 --> 00:37:15,660 2012 2017 her I was like, oh like she looks just like yes 537 00:37:16,540 --> 00:37:19,580 And I don't I really fear sounding like a pick me 538 00:37:19,580 --> 00:37:23,900 But like it's not even being a pick me because we don't we're not against getting surgery 539 00:37:23,900 --> 00:37:29,180 We're not but it's just like when you when you constantly see it as like a regular degilablai girl 540 00:37:29,180 --> 00:37:31,180 Sometimes it really is 541 00:37:31,180 --> 00:37:33,740 I really do look at myself and be like am I not enough? 542 00:37:33,820 --> 00:37:37,500 But I was having a conversation on twitter. I kind of went I like to say semi viral 543 00:37:37,900 --> 00:37:42,700 Because I was saying how like stars like ari Lennox like she's popular don't get me wrong 544 00:37:42,700 --> 00:37:46,380 But she's not like mainstream. She's not like global or international 545 00:37:46,380 --> 00:37:50,380 She'll go viral for like stuff like when she posted those pictures from the philadelphia 546 00:37:50,380 --> 00:37:52,460 Yeah, like what were you doing on that fucking couch? 547 00:37:52,540 --> 00:37:58,300 I feel like ari really isn't that popular because she hasn't assimilated her look innocence like she looks like us 548 00:37:58,300 --> 00:38:04,300 Yeah, so she's not going to get that mainstream popularity like I really feel like she should be on the same level as like scissor 549 00:38:04,940 --> 00:38:08,380 Or like sure Walker. She's she's not for sure 550 00:38:08,540 --> 00:38:11,820 And I feel like it's because she looks regular like I really do feel that way 551 00:38:12,140 --> 00:38:15,740 And if y'all disagreed and then fine, but that's I really feel that way 552 00:38:15,820 --> 00:38:20,300 I feel like when you don't assimilate like you don't get the success that you want 553 00:38:20,780 --> 00:38:22,780 And so that's why I kind of 554 00:38:22,780 --> 00:38:25,260 Unless you already had a body like yeah anyway 555 00:38:25,260 --> 00:38:31,340 But that's why I feel like a lot of black girls love ari Lennox because like she's so relatable 556 00:38:31,980 --> 00:38:33,980 When it comes to like the black female 557 00:38:34,140 --> 00:38:37,820 Um experience and even just with her looks like she's with her 558 00:38:39,180 --> 00:38:45,500 I feel like one day it's gonna like she's gonna come to all of it because even I think like no real shit 559 00:38:45,820 --> 00:38:50,700 When we get more notoriety and everything like that like what am I gonna want to change about myself? 560 00:38:51,100 --> 00:38:53,580 yeah, like I already nitpicked myself and 561 00:38:53,580 --> 00:39:00,700 And then you see men then you see men's reaction to it and how much they fawn over these people 562 00:39:01,180 --> 00:39:08,380 And how much they love looking at them and although it's like very lustful being lusted after is still something that 563 00:39:09,020 --> 00:39:18,460 Is profitable and then on top of it. It's just like it always continues to eat at me like am I not enough the fact that's 564 00:39:18,460 --> 00:39:23,740 The fact that dochi like we look so much alike. Mm-hmm 565 00:39:24,460 --> 00:39:26,460 I don't even know what she got to be 566 00:39:26,620 --> 00:39:34,060 And I was just like so sad. I was like I love her right like I saw me 567 00:39:35,180 --> 00:39:39,900 Yeah, when I be seeing like the black girls like this up and coming like rmb singers or like just rappers 568 00:39:39,980 --> 00:39:45,740 I'd be praying I'm like, please don't do anything don't do anything because I love seeing I love seeing regular looking black girls 569 00:39:45,740 --> 00:39:53,020 with like the black features and like the the the the hair the natural hair and like all that like I love seeing 570 00:39:53,020 --> 00:39:54,620 I just be thinking like 571 00:39:54,620 --> 00:39:56,620 Please 572 00:39:56,780 --> 00:40:02,300 Judging either it's really not it's really like I'm not gonna stop supporting any of these artists 573 00:40:02,380 --> 00:40:08,940 It's more so I internalize it and it's like it's not their job to make sure that our feelings are safe 574 00:40:09,020 --> 00:40:11,020 It's not but regardless 575 00:40:11,020 --> 00:40:18,940 Yeah, like regardless when you see it all the time. That's why women will go through like great lengths 576 00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:21,420 just to 577 00:40:21,420 --> 00:40:23,420 Be desirable because 578 00:40:25,020 --> 00:40:29,820 You make more money that way you do you do um, I also wanted to talk about um 579 00:40:30,300 --> 00:40:31,900 So I was I don't know if you're familiar 580 00:40:31,900 --> 00:40:36,540 But I was I think it was horrible decisions if I'm not mistaken you watch that podcast 581 00:40:37,260 --> 00:40:38,380 With the girl 582 00:40:38,380 --> 00:40:44,700 Mandy and yeah, I I could be wrong. I think it was them if not them. It was some other podcast, but they were also 583 00:40:45,260 --> 00:40:47,260 Um explain how a lot of female rap 584 00:40:48,220 --> 00:40:53,660 They can make you feel very insecure when it comes to like your sexuality or just like sex in general 585 00:40:53,820 --> 00:40:56,300 and and and it also makes sex standards um very 586 00:40:57,100 --> 00:40:59,100 unrealistic so 587 00:40:59,820 --> 00:41:01,820 I really do think it was horrible decisions 588 00:41:02,220 --> 00:41:05,340 Or with somebody else, but they were saying how like, you know 589 00:41:05,340 --> 00:41:10,060 When they be like, oh like the female rappers be bragging about having like wet kuchi and da da da da da 590 00:41:10,540 --> 00:41:13,740 Like when you hear that as a woman all the time like if you experience 591 00:41:15,340 --> 00:41:17,340 If you're like a type of woman that like 592 00:41:17,900 --> 00:41:21,180 Experience is like, I don't know like like vaginal dryness or something like that 593 00:41:21,180 --> 00:41:22,220 Like you might feel like okay 594 00:41:22,220 --> 00:41:27,740 It's something wrong with my pussy because it's not getting it's not what like it's not what and I just wanted to talk about that 595 00:41:28,300 --> 00:41:31,740 Because sometimes when you're having sex sometimes it just doesn't happen 596 00:41:31,740 --> 00:41:35,900 It doesn't mean that you're like not turned on or anything like sometimes that's just 597 00:41:37,340 --> 00:41:42,140 Like that's just the female body sometimes when you're having sex it just doesn't happen like and it doesn't mean I'm not turned on 598 00:41:42,540 --> 00:41:46,620 It can be a multitude of things like it can be um like birth control 599 00:41:46,700 --> 00:41:48,380 maybe it can happen in the middle of it 600 00:41:48,380 --> 00:41:51,500 Yeah, it can happen in the middle of it and it doesn't even mean I'm not turned on but 601 00:41:52,460 --> 00:41:57,020 That is the importance of like lube like y'all need to start using lube. I know like 602 00:41:57,020 --> 00:42:04,060 The girl is like the bad shit on social media and stuff like I don't need lube my coochie is wet. It's a super soaker 24 7 603 00:42:04,700 --> 00:42:08,860 365 days. Yeah, right bitch. Yeah, okay, bitch. Get the fuck out of here 604 00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:11,500 Um, but y'all need to start utilizing like lube 605 00:42:11,580 --> 00:42:15,420 But I wanted to talk about that like how female rap like sometimes they can also make 606 00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:21,500 Not even just female rap, but just like music the music culture in general when they're talking about sex like they can 607 00:42:21,500 --> 00:42:28,540 They some of the the standards are like very unrealistic. So a lot of people when they're having sex they feel like it should be a certain way 608 00:42:29,340 --> 00:42:30,380 and 609 00:42:30,380 --> 00:42:32,380 Nobody ever really looks at the gray area 610 00:42:33,100 --> 00:42:33,820 um 611 00:42:33,820 --> 00:42:35,180 surrounding 612 00:42:35,180 --> 00:42:40,380 Sex or things that could go wrong during sex like nobody ever looks at the gray area. It's not always going to be spectacular 613 00:42:40,620 --> 00:42:47,900 It's really not sometimes you have bad days. Sometimes you have bad nights. Sometimes you just don't have one at all. Yeah 614 00:42:47,900 --> 00:42:54,780 Um, it's not always going to be like how it says spectacular. Um, and I also want to talk about like 615 00:42:56,380 --> 00:42:58,860 I feel like great sex is like very subjective 616 00:42:59,020 --> 00:43:03,500 Like it's different for everybody like because not everybody's body does the same thing 617 00:43:03,740 --> 00:43:09,740 Exactly. They don't like the same thing. I might say I might say oh this nigga's dick like it was so good 618 00:43:09,900 --> 00:43:11,900 But to another girl it could be 619 00:43:12,300 --> 00:43:13,900 She might not have been 620 00:43:13,900 --> 00:43:18,300 It was trash and and and and that goes in reverse too. Yeah, I don't 621 00:43:18,860 --> 00:43:25,500 Because I know I admit it bitches don't want to admit it but for real but I probably gave some niggas some BS fucking koochee bro 622 00:43:25,820 --> 00:43:27,340 Like I know I did 623 00:43:27,340 --> 00:43:32,540 Rush it like some niggas might be like oh like him like her shit is amazing some niggas might be like 624 00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:36,140 Uh, it was all right, you know, but I ain't never heard it 625 00:43:36,860 --> 00:43:42,540 No, I never heard it. I never heard it, but it look it's some it's I never heard 626 00:43:42,540 --> 00:43:44,540 I've gotten great 627 00:43:45,420 --> 00:43:47,740 I've never gotten a bad review on this thing 628 00:43:47,820 --> 00:43:52,700 But I wanted to talk about like what makes sex good for you because it is subjected 629 00:43:52,860 --> 00:43:57,340 It's different for everybody. I think what makes sex trash or like 630 00:43:58,220 --> 00:44:01,100 Like just I think what makes a man's dick trash though 631 00:44:01,180 --> 00:44:06,940 It's like if I tell you that like something is not working for me and you're not open to like trying something 632 00:44:06,940 --> 00:44:09,180 That's when I'll say okay. This shit is trash 633 00:44:09,900 --> 00:44:11,020 like 634 00:44:11,020 --> 00:44:14,380 It's trash. So what makes sex good for you? 635 00:44:15,260 --> 00:44:17,260 It really just be the vibes 636 00:44:17,980 --> 00:44:19,980 It'd be the vibes also 637 00:44:20,940 --> 00:44:26,220 Big dicks only I'm not supposed to sit here and do all this extra shit you feel me like 638 00:44:29,020 --> 00:44:31,100 It's for me it's like the connection for me 639 00:44:31,260 --> 00:44:37,020 I feel like sometimes a man can give you like very mid dick, but they can make the sex in general 640 00:44:37,020 --> 00:44:41,180 Spectacular by doing other things. You know feel that way. I feel that way 641 00:44:41,260 --> 00:44:43,420 I feel like it can be very mid like this it can be very mid 642 00:44:43,420 --> 00:44:45,900 but if you're like doing stuff like eye contact or like 643 00:44:46,460 --> 00:44:48,460 um foreplay or 644 00:44:48,620 --> 00:44:50,620 I don't know praise like I feel like 645 00:44:52,140 --> 00:44:58,060 Absolutely not but I've experienced that before like it just makes the sex in general like just very 646 00:45:00,620 --> 00:45:05,660 Yo, I can't know y'all gotta let me know if y'all feel the same way as me because I've had them they probably do 647 00:45:05,660 --> 00:45:07,660 But like 648 00:45:08,300 --> 00:45:10,860 I don't know like you just gotta come with the full package 649 00:45:10,860 --> 00:45:18,300 But what it really boils down to for me is attraction like if I'm like attracted to yeah if I'm 650 00:45:18,860 --> 00:45:20,860 Mm-hmm if I'm super attracted to you it's like 651 00:45:21,420 --> 00:45:24,300 Oh my god, like, you know 652 00:45:25,900 --> 00:45:29,100 And they be saying like uh like a fucking little bro niggas be the best 653 00:45:29,100 --> 00:45:34,540 And I'm not gonna lie 654 00:45:36,140 --> 00:45:38,140 It's some truth to that 655 00:45:39,100 --> 00:45:45,580 I'm definitely fuck niggas with money and I think that were broke and the broke ones like I don't know 656 00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:47,660 Out of this fucking world 657 00:45:47,660 --> 00:45:49,660 No, they be fucking like they life the pen 658 00:45:51,740 --> 00:45:53,740 It's all that pent up stress 659 00:45:53,980 --> 00:45:58,700 You know from their kind of figure shit out. I remember I asked this one to go out 660 00:45:58,700 --> 00:46:00,940 No, I told this one to go. I was dealing with um 661 00:46:02,460 --> 00:46:07,260 He and he was he was broke. It was obvious. I could I just could pick up on that through con through contact 662 00:46:09,020 --> 00:46:12,860 I'm one time after we was done fucking like probably like a week later 663 00:46:12,860 --> 00:46:15,500 I I I said I'm like, yeah, that shit was amazing 664 00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:19,260 Like I said like what was going on like that was really that was really a performance 665 00:46:19,500 --> 00:46:24,700 And he was like, oh, it's just like I just been going through shit and I told him I said I hope I hope life get worse 666 00:46:24,700 --> 00:46:26,700 He said yo, you're sick 667 00:46:26,700 --> 00:46:28,700 Take it out on me 668 00:46:28,700 --> 00:46:30,700 Take it out on me take it out on me 669 00:46:30,700 --> 00:46:34,620 I hope that get worse. He was like, yo, you're sick. I'm like 670 00:46:40,140 --> 00:46:44,620 I'll be that sick bitch, but like no they definitely do be fucking the best 671 00:46:44,780 --> 00:46:50,540 Yeah, because they like really need to get them so like they need a release. That's what I was talking about 672 00:46:50,540 --> 00:46:56,380 That's why I'm not gonna lie. I look I've known the the girlies and the female rappers are gonna come for me 673 00:46:56,380 --> 00:46:59,500 But I like fucking broke niggas because they really do 674 00:47:02,300 --> 00:47:04,300 Not fucking broke niggas 675 00:47:04,620 --> 00:47:08,700 I'm not saying all that. I'm just saying that the experience be a lot better because 676 00:47:09,260 --> 00:47:16,380 It's not even broke. No, no, I won't even say it's broke niggas. I'll say any man that's going through something 677 00:47:16,380 --> 00:47:21,980 No, like life like life is just not doing what it needs to do for them 678 00:47:22,380 --> 00:47:25,740 Like they they get it out. They get it out on you 679 00:47:26,620 --> 00:47:32,220 And I love it like I love it like if you're if you're mentally healthy like I don't I'm sorry like don't come over here 680 00:47:34,460 --> 00:47:37,420 If life is going great for you and you have money, I don't want to fuck 681 00:47:37,660 --> 00:47:42,060 Because sometimes when they happy they do good too. No, that's true. That's true. I feel like 682 00:47:42,060 --> 00:47:49,900 But nah, like in my experience like something gotta be going a little bit wrong. Yeah, you gotta be a little bit like 683 00:47:50,860 --> 00:47:52,860 stress about something like 684 00:47:53,820 --> 00:47:59,180 Exactly school work and as women we can tell too when you going through something like when you fucking is good 685 00:47:59,180 --> 00:48:02,700 We can tell like when we going through something like I could tell when I would fuck this nigga 686 00:48:02,700 --> 00:48:04,700 I don't like this nigga 687 00:48:05,740 --> 00:48:07,740 Life is beating his ass right now 688 00:48:07,740 --> 00:48:11,100 I feel so sick. He probably gonna watch this shit like wow 689 00:48:12,700 --> 00:48:17,180 Oh, wow, but like baby, I've been knew that she was stressful like I knew 690 00:48:20,780 --> 00:48:25,420 The girlies are gonna attack us for this. I don't care. I don't care like 691 00:48:26,220 --> 00:48:33,100 Get you a man that's a little bit stressed. Yes, so that you can take the stress away. They'd be so happy and tired afterwards 692 00:48:33,900 --> 00:48:35,900 This nigga they just be so 693 00:48:35,900 --> 00:48:41,340 Oh, content they get it all out and they just be laying there a butt-neck it socks on 694 00:48:42,380 --> 00:48:45,740 This nigga fuck you so good that like a month and I got this nigga a birthday gift 695 00:48:46,300 --> 00:48:52,380 I did not care. I did not care. I said I need to thank him for his services. Like I'm sorry 696 00:48:53,900 --> 00:48:58,060 They be stressed out now what they they're going to socks on 697 00:48:58,620 --> 00:49:02,220 They really do the girlies. I definitely gonna attack us, but I don't know why like 698 00:49:02,220 --> 00:49:06,380 What's wrong with spending money on a man though? Like I just don't see the issue 699 00:49:06,380 --> 00:49:10,220 I don't get the issue either like I and I don't even care like even if I've known you for two weeks 700 00:49:10,220 --> 00:49:14,140 Like let's just say that your birthday is the is the week after if I want to get you a birthday gift 701 00:49:14,140 --> 00:49:17,580 That's just what I'm gonna do because that's naturally something that I want to ask how I am 702 00:49:17,740 --> 00:49:21,820 I love to give people gifts. That's just how I am and if you know the time comes around you and do the same for me 703 00:49:21,820 --> 00:49:26,620 Then that's fine. Cool. I just know how to move with you. Like it's no big deal to me. Is that never a big deal? 704 00:49:26,620 --> 00:49:33,660 I don't never be like extravagant with it. It'll be something small. Hmm. No, I'm definitely lying 705 00:49:34,460 --> 00:49:39,420 I've done a lot given extravagant gifts to niggas that did not deserve it 706 00:49:39,740 --> 00:49:42,620 But I'm talking about as of now. I'm like, I don't do that not anymore 707 00:49:43,180 --> 00:49:49,740 I just right now the person that I be giving gifts to he deserves it. He does he does even though I be overthinking 708 00:49:50,220 --> 00:49:53,180 Why why do you think women are bad for spending money on men though? 709 00:49:53,180 --> 00:49:58,540 Because that's really not how things are supposed to go. But it's just like do you like the niggas? 710 00:49:58,780 --> 00:50:03,820 That's what I'm saying and that's what niggas be saying like they be feeling like we don't like them because like 711 00:50:04,140 --> 00:50:06,460 We just like no you have to do everything for me 712 00:50:06,540 --> 00:50:10,460 And I just have to show up and look pretty and there's some men that that's all they require 713 00:50:10,780 --> 00:50:16,700 But a lot of these regular regular men really are stressed out really going through their own stuff trying to make their life 714 00:50:16,780 --> 00:50:19,100 Work just as much as we're trying to make our lives work 715 00:50:19,100 --> 00:50:24,060 And they deserve to feel wanted and appreciated in the same ways that we want to be loved 716 00:50:24,060 --> 00:50:26,860 Wanted and appreciated take the man out 717 00:50:27,340 --> 00:50:32,540 Yeah, I just don't like deal with that like give him a gift if I'm in love and I'm in a relationship 718 00:50:32,620 --> 00:50:37,580 Like I'm definitely tricking on mine. That's what I'm saying. That's my problem now. I'm definitely tricking 719 00:50:37,740 --> 00:50:40,940 I will pick up the tab. I will I will cook for you 720 00:50:41,260 --> 00:50:45,580 Yes, I will like because that's just how I am like I don't know about the cooking part yet 721 00:50:45,580 --> 00:50:51,260 What for real? I I will cook. I will cook. I probably need to cook for this man 722 00:50:51,820 --> 00:50:54,380 but I feel like when you're dating someone like 723 00:50:55,660 --> 00:51:00,060 Dating someone like you know y'all I'm talking about when y'all like boyfriend girlfriend not when you just talking to somebody 724 00:51:00,220 --> 00:51:03,660 Like when y'all boyfriend girlfriend in a weird space. I just feel like 725 00:51:04,540 --> 00:51:06,060 I don't know what it's kind of like a preview 726 00:51:06,060 --> 00:51:10,140 Like if y'all want to move to that next step of like marriage or whatever it's kind of like a you a preview of 727 00:51:10,140 --> 00:51:12,140 What you're gonna get so I just feel like 728 00:51:12,140 --> 00:51:15,340 I just I do like to cook I do like to cook 729 00:51:15,660 --> 00:51:19,100 So I just feel like that's just what I'm gonna do if I really like you I enjoy your company 730 00:51:19,100 --> 00:51:23,260 I want to cook for you like I want to serve you and that sounds crazy coming from me 731 00:51:23,260 --> 00:51:24,060 I'm like that too 732 00:51:24,060 --> 00:51:25,500 But that's just how I really am 733 00:51:25,500 --> 00:51:29,660 Honestly, it's not even serving you to be honest. It's not serving you it's just I'm doing it because I'm like 734 00:51:29,660 --> 00:51:31,660 No it is and it's okay 735 00:51:31,660 --> 00:51:33,660 I don't like I don't like that terminology 736 00:51:33,660 --> 00:51:35,660 You don't like that terminology because it's 737 00:51:35,660 --> 00:51:38,700 I'm not serving you but that's what you're doing 738 00:51:38,700 --> 00:51:43,100 It's just an exchange of energy. That's how I look at it. Like I it's just an exchange 739 00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:45,100 Girl call a spade a spade 740 00:51:45,100 --> 00:51:46,300 Call a spade a spade 741 00:51:46,300 --> 00:51:47,020 I do not like that 742 00:51:47,020 --> 00:51:52,380 We hate we hate the terminology of submission servitude all that other stuff 743 00:51:52,380 --> 00:51:54,380 But guess what that's what the fuck it is 744 00:51:55,100 --> 00:51:57,180 And we have to get out of 745 00:51:57,180 --> 00:52:01,500 I just think it's an exchange of energy like I don't feel like I need to really submit to anybody 746 00:52:01,500 --> 00:52:03,820 I don't feel like I need to do any of that stuff 747 00:52:03,820 --> 00:52:05,100 Cam I don't 748 00:52:05,100 --> 00:52:07,500 When he has an idea and you have an idea 749 00:52:07,500 --> 00:52:11,980 Mm-hmm and he's like this is the best way to go about it and you're like 750 00:52:13,100 --> 00:52:15,100 You know what? 751 00:52:15,180 --> 00:52:18,700 No, no, it's because that's what that's exactly what they're saying. I don't like no 752 00:52:18,780 --> 00:52:20,860 I agree like it's nothing wrong with doing that 753 00:52:20,940 --> 00:52:25,900 It's just I don't like the terminology behind like submission because I feel like it's rooted in patriarchy 754 00:52:25,980 --> 00:52:27,900 Like I don't like that. I just feel like that's just a relationship 755 00:52:27,900 --> 00:52:30,380 Y'all just talking whoever got the best idea got the best idea 756 00:52:30,380 --> 00:52:34,300 But why do it gotta be I gotta submit to you like why is that only put on a woman? 757 00:52:34,620 --> 00:52:36,380 Well, no, that's the thing 758 00:52:36,380 --> 00:52:38,380 And here's and here's 759 00:52:39,340 --> 00:52:41,340 Don't mean to be bible thumping K. Lowe 760 00:52:42,220 --> 00:52:43,980 but like 761 00:52:43,980 --> 00:52:46,300 That's not even what God even intended 762 00:52:46,940 --> 00:52:50,460 Like and we're talking from a religious lens a Christian lens here 763 00:52:51,180 --> 00:52:54,300 Because that's really where this is all coming from 764 00:52:55,260 --> 00:52:57,260 submission like leadership 765 00:52:57,420 --> 00:53:05,100 Headship is also to know when to submit as well because you don't know all the answers and even in the bible it's like 766 00:53:05,100 --> 00:53:07,660 Husbands like take care of your wives 767 00:53:08,460 --> 00:53:10,460 Listen to your wife 768 00:53:10,460 --> 00:53:12,460 It's not just wife submit 769 00:53:12,460 --> 00:53:15,100 But wouldn't you say that it's some patriarchy in the bible too? 770 00:53:15,100 --> 00:53:18,140 Yeah, but I'm okay with that. You want to know why? 771 00:53:19,020 --> 00:53:21,900 That's why I call myself a fim I'm not a feminist or anything 772 00:53:21,900 --> 00:53:27,180 Like because that takes the brunt of the work like it takes a lot of work off of me 773 00:53:27,820 --> 00:53:33,580 Like I'm able to show up for you in the ways that you need because I'm allowing you to have control over a situation 774 00:53:33,580 --> 00:53:36,700 It's only if I can trust you with that though 775 00:53:37,180 --> 00:53:40,940 I would love for a man like I don't care what nobody says you can call me a pick me 776 00:53:41,020 --> 00:53:43,980 You can do whatever whatever you say whatever you want 777 00:53:44,060 --> 00:53:44,860 but 778 00:53:44,860 --> 00:53:47,900 Like when it's time for me to get married and have a husband 779 00:53:48,540 --> 00:53:55,420 Or if I'm working on that with the person that I'm with I have no problem submitting to you if you have good ideas 780 00:53:56,620 --> 00:54:00,540 Like because when you put trust in a man like really put trust in a man 781 00:54:00,540 --> 00:54:04,220 They showed there they show their ass either in a good way or a bad way 782 00:54:04,700 --> 00:54:07,260 But like if I don't have to make all the decisions 783 00:54:07,820 --> 00:54:14,380 And if you know that you're good at finances and I'm good at rearing the children and taking care of the house 784 00:54:14,460 --> 00:54:16,460 Guess what I'm gonna do 785 00:54:16,460 --> 00:54:18,060 that 786 00:54:18,060 --> 00:54:23,580 But that's what I'm saying like I I agree with you. I agree 100% with you. It's just I just me 787 00:54:24,620 --> 00:54:28,220 I guess because I'm coming from the perspective of like because I grew up in a religious household too 788 00:54:28,220 --> 00:54:31,900 And I'm not really a religious bitch anymore. Like I'm really not so I just don't 789 00:54:32,460 --> 00:54:37,900 I agree with everything that you're saying. I just really just don't like that. It's caught that like I think that is my issue 790 00:54:37,980 --> 00:54:43,980 I don't like that. It's why why is it called submission? Like why because that you really are submitting yourself 791 00:54:44,300 --> 00:54:47,340 Like when you get married submitting anything. Yeah, he does 792 00:54:47,900 --> 00:54:51,020 But that's what I'm saying. He relinquishes. He relinquishes his resources 793 00:54:51,660 --> 00:54:56,700 Like come on like if we're really being honest and it's and we're strictly talking about marriage too like 794 00:54:56,700 --> 00:55:02,460 Traditionally marriage is between a man and a woman not saying that that's right. I'm just saying we're talking about tradition 795 00:55:03,260 --> 00:55:06,060 he comes with resources you come with 796 00:55:07,180 --> 00:55:11,900 Pretty much servitude because you're taking care of the house. You're taking care of the children. He's coming home with the money 797 00:55:12,940 --> 00:55:14,940 Like he's taking care of you and 798 00:55:15,500 --> 00:55:18,220 Everything that you come with and on top of that 799 00:55:18,700 --> 00:55:21,900 He is relinquishing a lot if we're talking about it from the bible sense 800 00:55:22,140 --> 00:55:25,100 It says he finds a wife finds a good thing 801 00:55:25,100 --> 00:55:31,020 Okay, but also it also talks about the man leaving his own mother 802 00:55:31,580 --> 00:55:37,420 Leaving his household and coming to wherever you're at. So he's leaving everything that he knows 803 00:55:37,980 --> 00:55:39,980 Everything that he knows to be with you 804 00:55:40,860 --> 00:55:43,820 But people don't talk about that part in the bible. They don't talk about that 805 00:55:44,380 --> 00:55:46,700 Disagree because it's like I don't want you to leave everything that you know 806 00:55:47,020 --> 00:55:51,340 But that's what is but that's that is the goal that is what marriage is 807 00:55:51,340 --> 00:55:58,300 In its essence is you marriage can be whatever you want it to be. Yeah now, but at its core, it's a business 808 00:55:59,260 --> 00:56:02,140 It's a business deal and you're gonna have to make sacrifices 809 00:56:02,460 --> 00:56:08,860 And the sacrifices that the man is making is literally creating a new family like creating a new legacy 810 00:56:09,820 --> 00:56:13,100 with the woman the woman doesn't necessarily have 811 00:56:14,380 --> 00:56:15,580 the 812 00:56:15,580 --> 00:56:19,580 Didn't have the financial resources to do that. Right. So of course you wouldn't be 813 00:56:19,580 --> 00:56:24,700 Okay, so yeah, if we talking about it from like um, like a cultural 814 00:56:25,260 --> 00:56:30,780 Yeah, one of you then yeah, that's that's that's how now looks but now it's just like whatever 815 00:56:30,940 --> 00:56:34,380 I think that men just want to feel manly now 816 00:56:35,420 --> 00:56:38,060 And honestly, I'm okay with doing that 817 00:56:38,940 --> 00:56:40,140 again 818 00:56:40,140 --> 00:56:44,780 Call me a pick me call me what you want. Submission is not a bad thing to me 819 00:56:44,780 --> 00:56:51,180 And I'm going to submit to my husband when the time comes because 820 00:56:52,060 --> 00:56:54,540 That's less responsibility on me. Yeah 821 00:56:55,180 --> 00:56:58,460 I don't know. I just don't I've always been like a very 822 00:56:59,340 --> 00:56:59,900 non 823 00:56:59,900 --> 00:57:01,980 If that's a word non traditional girl 824 00:57:01,980 --> 00:57:07,340 So I just don't like all those ideals and all of my ideologies like I've never resonated with it 825 00:57:07,340 --> 00:57:11,420 It's just always been very confusing to me. I just always just look at it as like a 826 00:57:11,420 --> 00:57:17,580 Exchange of energy not so much like um, like submission like I don't look ahead like that and then I do feel like 827 00:57:18,140 --> 00:57:23,100 At one point I was like, I don't want to get married just because of like like we was just talking about like if we look at like the 828 00:57:24,540 --> 00:57:26,300 like 829 00:57:26,300 --> 00:57:29,980 Like how marriage is supposed to be like I've never resonated with it 830 00:57:30,700 --> 00:57:31,820 but 831 00:57:31,820 --> 00:57:34,700 Now that I think about I'm like, I do want to get I would want to get married 832 00:57:34,700 --> 00:57:39,340 But I want it to be on like my terms like I want like I want to do whatever works for me 833 00:57:39,340 --> 00:57:41,980 Like I don't think I can go by like that traditional 834 00:57:42,780 --> 00:57:46,220 Kind of marriage you know what I'm saying like I just want to do whatever works for me 835 00:57:46,300 --> 00:57:50,060 Whatever works for us works for us. I feel like that's how our relationship should just be in general 836 00:57:50,140 --> 00:57:56,540 We want file the file bible then file a bible if you don't need don't but I just feel like so many people have put like all these 837 00:57:57,020 --> 00:58:01,260 I think they're trying to go what marriage is they're trying to go back. Why can't people just do what they want to do? 838 00:58:02,060 --> 00:58:04,060 well, because quite frankly 839 00:58:04,060 --> 00:58:10,300 A lot of a lot of women feel the way that you feel but a lot of men don't feel the way that you feel 840 00:58:10,380 --> 00:58:15,020 Oh, that's true. That is so quite frankly if you really want to get married 841 00:58:16,380 --> 00:58:21,100 And that's why and that's why I initially was saying like, you know, I don't feel like marriage is really for me 842 00:58:21,420 --> 00:58:26,300 I got I don't because honestly a lot of men feel that way like they don't feel the same way as me 843 00:58:26,300 --> 00:58:32,780 I just want to be me like I don't feel like it should be like any restrictions or like any rules around marriage or anything like that 844 00:58:32,780 --> 00:58:37,820 It's whatever you want it to be but it's like I was just watching the erica by do interview and she was literally saying that she was like 845 00:58:37,820 --> 00:58:42,540 Yeah, I don't think I could be married because if you really look at what marriage is like traditionally 846 00:58:42,940 --> 00:58:46,940 Like it doesn't fit me. So I don't think it's for me and she was saying that's why she's never got married 847 00:58:47,180 --> 00:58:51,580 And I'm like I resonate with it because it's true like what you're saying is true like a lot of men 848 00:58:52,220 --> 00:58:55,900 Don't feel like they don't feel that way. They don't feel that way about marriage 849 00:58:57,020 --> 00:58:59,900 Which is why when gabrielle union and dwing way like when 850 00:58:59,900 --> 00:59:04,780 When gabrielle was like, yeah, I don't submit to him. We just work together and we just do what works for us 851 00:59:04,940 --> 00:59:09,100 Everybody was like the internet was on fire because she said that they made it seem like 852 00:59:09,820 --> 00:59:14,140 Gabrielle was beating him or some shit. Yeah, but also like 853 00:59:15,820 --> 00:59:19,100 Submission that really is what it is my grandmother 854 00:59:19,820 --> 00:59:25,180 Always told me he's the head. I'm the neck one can't function without the other right 855 00:59:26,300 --> 00:59:28,300 like 856 00:59:28,300 --> 00:59:29,740 I 857 00:59:29,740 --> 00:59:31,740 Contribute he contributes 858 00:59:32,380 --> 00:59:34,380 because like we said in the 859 00:59:34,860 --> 00:59:36,860 The most recent 860 00:59:36,940 --> 00:59:39,820 Podcast men and women do operate differently 861 00:59:40,380 --> 00:59:44,860 Like we do the way that we think the way that we are who we are 862 00:59:45,820 --> 00:59:51,580 We show up differently not just because of like biological things, but also for society 863 00:59:52,220 --> 00:59:55,020 So like you have to take all of those things 864 00:59:55,020 --> 01:00:00,780 All this into consideration if like what you want in the in the end goal is to 865 01:00:01,420 --> 01:00:03,420 Be married or to be partnered 866 01:00:04,700 --> 01:00:07,580 And there's going to be certain sacrifices that you're going to have to make 867 01:00:08,140 --> 01:00:13,500 But some women right now are not willing to because that is relinquishing a lot of power 868 01:00:13,980 --> 01:00:16,140 Yeah, and I'm okay with relinquishing that 869 01:00:17,260 --> 01:00:21,180 Like I'm okay with relinquishing that just because I know that like 870 01:00:21,900 --> 01:00:23,900 Because I've been engaged 871 01:00:23,900 --> 01:00:25,340 before 872 01:00:25,340 --> 01:00:27,260 because like 873 01:00:27,260 --> 01:00:31,180 Like I do run into fuck niggas a lot, but I have a tendency to 874 01:00:32,060 --> 01:00:32,940 to 875 01:00:32,940 --> 01:00:34,940 make men 876 01:00:35,020 --> 01:00:37,020 Feel like they want to partner me 877 01:00:37,740 --> 01:00:41,740 I even had a experience with someone who I'd never even seen in person 878 01:00:42,300 --> 01:00:44,300 Nothing like he literally 879 01:00:44,540 --> 01:00:45,740 has like 880 01:00:45,740 --> 01:00:47,740 We we were just cool 881 01:00:48,140 --> 01:00:52,380 Right and he like sent me this whole paragraph about how like 882 01:00:52,380 --> 01:00:55,980 I'm the only person that he ever sees himself with that he wants 883 01:00:56,380 --> 01:01:01,100 Like marriage and children with me because he loves how I carry myself 884 01:01:02,140 --> 01:01:06,620 Anything like that even like some of the older guys that work at my job as like 885 01:01:07,020 --> 01:01:12,940 Drivers and stuff. They always say like man like even even the patients they're like 886 01:01:13,820 --> 01:01:18,460 Like I wouldn't want my son to marry you. I would want out if I was younger 887 01:01:18,460 --> 01:01:21,100 I would have done it but since I can't 888 01:01:21,100 --> 01:01:25,980 Like I want my son to marry someone like you. I want my daughter to be someone like you 889 01:01:26,220 --> 01:01:29,100 Right. So like I've always known like 890 01:01:31,340 --> 01:01:33,500 That's that's like that's for life for me 891 01:01:33,900 --> 01:01:38,300 Like I'm just I'm I'm going to be someone's wife not because like 892 01:01:38,940 --> 01:01:42,540 I'm saying it but because that's the reaction I get out of people 893 01:01:42,540 --> 01:01:47,020 This is a great segue into what we were talking about when it came to like dating 894 01:01:47,020 --> 01:01:50,380 And like how I was saying remember I was saying like 895 01:01:50,700 --> 01:01:55,020 If you think about it because a lot of women will call you a pick me for that. I don't think you're a pick me for that at all 896 01:01:55,580 --> 01:02:00,860 But remember I was saying how every straight woman who desires love with a man 897 01:02:01,100 --> 01:02:03,100 wants to be picked like 898 01:02:03,340 --> 01:02:06,380 It's a difference between okay. So a pick me 899 01:02:06,940 --> 01:02:11,340 Is a woman who puts down other women to 900 01:02:11,740 --> 01:02:13,740 Look more desirable to men 901 01:02:13,740 --> 01:02:16,540 Look more desirable to men 902 01:02:16,540 --> 01:02:22,460 That's a pick me but I feel like at its core every woman that really wants to be loved by a man 903 01:02:22,540 --> 01:02:26,540 And like you want to be picked because every one of you want because not every woman 904 01:02:27,020 --> 01:02:29,660 Is some woman out here that really just wants to be single for the rest of your life 905 01:02:29,660 --> 01:02:32,060 So I'm not talking about them, but if you're really a woman 906 01:02:33,100 --> 01:02:36,140 Yes, not a lot they may say it but in their head in their room 907 01:02:36,140 --> 01:02:41,260 They're crying and throwing up and that's really what it is and that's why them bitches was going on kevin samuels 908 01:02:41,260 --> 01:02:43,260 Oh god 909 01:02:46,620 --> 01:02:50,220 Every woman who desires like a relationship wants to be picked innocence 910 01:02:50,620 --> 01:02:57,100 And I don't feel like anything they want to be picked. Yeah, I don't think it's anything wrong with that as long as you're not like bashing 911 01:02:57,580 --> 01:03:02,540 Other women that's what you're dating is that's literally being less of yourself 912 01:03:02,620 --> 01:03:07,580 Exactly you're being less of yourself and there are certain things like you can change like if you 913 01:03:08,460 --> 01:03:10,460 know that you're not a 914 01:03:10,460 --> 01:03:12,460 Warm or nurturing person 915 01:03:14,460 --> 01:03:16,460 I'm not gonna lie to you 916 01:03:18,460 --> 01:03:25,260 That might need to change. Yeah. Yeah, just because some stuff that's what it in a relationship. Yes, but also like 917 01:03:26,940 --> 01:03:32,140 If you want to be picked you have to understand the psychology of a of the person that you want to be picked by 918 01:03:32,700 --> 01:03:36,220 And a lot of these niggas aren't group thinking ass niggas. They are 919 01:03:36,220 --> 01:03:41,980 And like the one thing that I noticed is the only reason why people say 920 01:03:43,580 --> 01:03:49,420 They want they would want something out of me like that is because you're so nurturing you're so loving 921 01:03:50,220 --> 01:03:52,220 Like you take such good care of me 922 01:03:53,260 --> 01:03:54,540 And I'm like 923 01:03:54,540 --> 01:03:56,300 some women are not 924 01:03:56,300 --> 01:03:59,820 Willing to do that. So if you're not willing to do that and take care of somebody then 925 01:04:00,460 --> 01:04:03,660 And also show like you said show signs of your 926 01:04:03,660 --> 01:04:08,540 Wifely or girlfriend-esque nature before getting to that actual stage because 927 01:04:09,100 --> 01:04:12,940 How the hell would they even know? I'm not even saying you got to go OD, but it's just like 928 01:04:14,060 --> 01:04:17,660 Show those parts of yourself. Why don't you just show like them parts of yourself? 929 01:04:17,660 --> 01:04:21,980 And I'm not talking about cause like it's a difference between like casually dating somebody and just like um 930 01:04:22,700 --> 01:04:29,660 What's the other term? It's casual dating and then it's like exclusively dating. I guess exclusively dating. I think I think that's what it is 931 01:04:29,660 --> 01:04:34,140 Um, I feel like it's a difference. I do feel like if the nigga is not doing shit for you though 932 01:04:34,140 --> 01:04:37,980 Why are you all dating then you shouldn't be doing those things? I do feel like that like but 933 01:04:38,780 --> 01:04:42,620 If he's pouring into you or whatever like I don't I don't see the issue with you know 934 01:04:42,620 --> 01:04:46,140 Prefume in a little something something like I don't I'm not saying you gotta go OD 935 01:04:46,220 --> 01:04:50,220 But I don't know maybe do something like maybe cook for him one day or I don't know 936 01:04:50,620 --> 01:04:54,940 When y'all go out you pick up the tab or just something like that and I don't think that's being a pick me 937 01:04:54,940 --> 01:05:00,380 I really think that's just how dating is you want to show parts of yourself so they know what they're getting into 938 01:05:00,460 --> 01:05:02,700 Like that's that's what dating is exactly 939 01:05:03,420 --> 01:05:06,380 I feel like in a sense every I'm talking straight women 940 01:05:06,700 --> 01:05:10,860 On when it comes to dealing with men like every woman wants to be picked in the sense 941 01:05:11,100 --> 01:05:14,300 Like you want to be picked by a man because if you want a relationship you want to be picked 942 01:05:15,660 --> 01:05:23,500 Like stop acting. Let's not be dense here. Yeah, like let's not be dense. Let's not act like let's not act slow here guys 943 01:05:23,500 --> 01:05:29,580 Like and me and kella are far from pick me's we are like anybody knows you could call me you could call me with the 944 01:05:29,580 --> 01:05:35,420 Hell you want to go but I don't give you bitches call me a pick me I don't give two shit 945 01:05:35,980 --> 01:05:42,460 You want to know why because you're the same bitches calling me a pick me is the same bitches that have no man 946 01:05:44,780 --> 01:05:51,580 And I don't even mean to be that type of person and I'm not even saying like and what I mean by no man is no good man 947 01:05:51,580 --> 01:05:58,220 Right like y'all be calling people pick me's and you letting this man run a muck in your motherfucking life 948 01:05:59,580 --> 01:06:04,140 That's fixed though. That is fixed get right with God before you say anything about me 949 01:06:06,060 --> 01:06:09,020 So let's also talk about our um 950 01:06:09,660 --> 01:06:13,980 New standards with dating and how we're approaching dating for me personally 951 01:06:14,780 --> 01:06:16,860 I realized that I had like a lack of um 952 01:06:16,860 --> 01:06:22,380 I don't want to say boundaries like I just know you did you think it was boundaries. Yep. I 953 01:06:24,860 --> 01:06:32,860 I'm like, okay, so I had a lack of boundaries absolutely when dating I feel like usually when I date men I just tend to go with the flow 954 01:06:32,860 --> 01:06:40,140 But one thing I've realized and I'm happy that I'm realizing this as I'm turning 24 is that when you're wanting to go with the flow girls 955 01:06:40,140 --> 01:06:46,140 To get your heart broken you're going to be friends owned all the time. Um, because it's nothing that's clear 956 01:06:46,140 --> 01:06:50,140 So I feel like I need to be adamant on what the fuck I want from now on and that's what the fuck I'm gonna do 957 01:06:51,100 --> 01:06:55,500 Um, if you're going to be dealing with me, um, you need to be taking me out on dates 958 01:06:55,660 --> 01:07:00,140 Period because I wasn't even in first net before because I again I was just like I'm just gonna go with the flow 959 01:07:00,300 --> 01:07:03,340 Like I'm not gonna try to force anything because I'm real big on authenticity 960 01:07:03,660 --> 01:07:07,820 So I always be just be wanting things to flow naturally. I don't ever want to force anything 961 01:07:07,820 --> 01:07:09,820 But now I'm realizing that that's really like 962 01:07:11,260 --> 01:07:12,860 That's a negative for me 963 01:07:12,860 --> 01:07:17,660 So now I just want to start like enforcing those those things like I don't want to just 964 01:07:18,300 --> 01:07:20,300 No, we're not sitting in the crib chilling 965 01:07:20,860 --> 01:07:25,180 No, we're not sitting in the car chilling. I'm not doing that shit no more. It's like either you guys 966 01:07:25,180 --> 01:07:31,020 I mean you can but make sure that there's dates. No, no you yeah, we can but it's like every now and then there needs to be dates 967 01:07:31,180 --> 01:07:34,380 If you're not doing them something I think that it should be a first date before 968 01:07:34,380 --> 01:07:39,980 You sitting in the car and doing all that stuff. No real shit. So that's that's like a new standard for me 969 01:07:40,620 --> 01:07:46,220 um, because I'm approaching my mid 20s and I really don't have time for this shit like I don't like 970 01:07:47,260 --> 01:07:52,140 I don't so those are my new my new standards. Um, and I feel like I want to be more like 971 01:07:53,660 --> 01:07:55,660 I would need to be abundantly clear 972 01:07:56,700 --> 01:08:03,260 With niggas like I on what I want and where I want to go with dating. So those are my dating standards. Do you have any? 973 01:08:03,260 --> 01:08:05,260 I have no idea 974 01:08:05,740 --> 01:08:10,780 My dating standards my dating standards are being met right now. That's why I don't understand why I'm really like over thinking 975 01:08:11,740 --> 01:08:13,740 but um 976 01:08:14,460 --> 01:08:16,460 My main standard is 977 01:08:17,580 --> 01:08:19,420 To see me 978 01:08:19,420 --> 01:08:23,900 Like if you're dating me, you see me for exactly who I am 979 01:08:24,700 --> 01:08:27,660 Like don't try to tweak it. Don't try to change it 980 01:08:27,660 --> 01:08:34,620 Like I just want to be admired for the person that I am the same way that I admire these niggas 981 01:08:35,500 --> 01:08:39,260 Like flaws and all like you have no idea like 982 01:08:40,300 --> 01:08:47,340 People could point 10 things that's wrong with somebody to me and I'm just like but look at all the 20 things that are right about them 983 01:08:47,820 --> 01:08:51,900 Right the things that you don't know and I want someone to do that for me 984 01:08:52,540 --> 01:08:55,260 Right. I want to be looked at like that 985 01:08:55,260 --> 01:08:59,980 Me too and I haven't experienced it yet, but I know it's gonna come one day. It do be making 986 01:08:59,980 --> 01:09:03,100 I'm very raw and vulnerable. It'll be making me sad that I've never 987 01:09:03,900 --> 01:09:05,900 experienced it like I'm always the 988 01:09:06,380 --> 01:09:13,820 Homegirl to niggas like every single time like men are never sure again like I said this before but like men are never sure about me 989 01:09:14,460 --> 01:09:15,900 um 990 01:09:15,900 --> 01:09:22,140 I've never really experienced anything like super romantic at all and it does bother me and it is easy to internalize that shit 991 01:09:22,780 --> 01:09:23,820 um 992 01:09:23,820 --> 01:09:30,780 So, yeah, I'm hoping that as I enter 24 and I enforce these new dating standards that I can like start 993 01:09:30,940 --> 01:09:34,540 Begin to experience those things because I'm actively making the change now 994 01:09:34,940 --> 01:09:38,780 Compared to whereas before I didn't really have no rules. I didn't have no boundaries 995 01:09:38,860 --> 01:09:44,300 Like kella said I was just going with the flow with men and I always got my heart broken every single time 996 01:09:45,020 --> 01:09:49,100 because and even I find this with my situation it's just like 997 01:09:49,100 --> 01:09:56,220 I think you just are so like you're so sure about the person but you never know if the other person is sure and 998 01:09:56,780 --> 01:10:01,420 The only time that you know a person is sure about you is if they go out there away for you. Yeah 999 01:10:02,380 --> 01:10:07,420 Absolutely, you know and it is true when they say they want if they wanted to they would I do feel like 1000 01:10:07,820 --> 01:10:12,540 I do feel like it's some nuance to that thing but ultimately like if we're really looking at it, it's true 1001 01:10:13,180 --> 01:10:15,900 um, they wanted to they would um 1002 01:10:15,900 --> 01:10:21,580 Let's get into what else we got dating apps. Have you ever been on one? 1003 01:10:24,860 --> 01:10:27,980 So I've recently been trying hinge, right? 1004 01:10:28,700 --> 01:10:33,900 Um hinge is completely different from the other dating apps because it allows you to show more of you 1005 01:10:34,540 --> 01:10:38,060 um, like they have like these different prompts that you can answer and stuff like that 1006 01:10:38,940 --> 01:10:44,540 um, they have like little polls that you could do like um first date polls and stuff like that 1007 01:10:44,540 --> 01:10:50,860 Um, I've been trying hinge at first. I didn't like it because honestly, I was not finding any way that I found 1008 01:10:52,060 --> 01:10:55,100 Attractive on your because me I love a fine man 1009 01:10:55,260 --> 01:11:01,820 Like I'm not going to deal with anybody that is ugly or or a medium ugly or I'm not I'm not dealing with it 1010 01:11:01,820 --> 01:11:03,740 We don't do that at all 1011 01:11:03,740 --> 01:11:10,540 But recently I've been on hinge more and I've been seeing I found a few not a lot. I found a few men who are 1012 01:11:11,180 --> 01:11:13,180 attractive and 1013 01:11:13,180 --> 01:11:19,180 I'm a little excited like I so I didn't tell you this but I'm supposed to go on a date with this one dude next week 1014 01:11:19,420 --> 01:11:21,420 Which I'm very excited about 1015 01:11:21,740 --> 01:11:23,740 I'm super excited about it 1016 01:11:24,060 --> 01:11:27,740 And he's cute. He's cute as shit. Um, so I'm excited about that 1017 01:11:28,220 --> 01:11:33,500 Um, but for the most part I do be fun. Like it's not a lot of fine men on dating apps 1018 01:11:33,500 --> 01:11:38,540 I feel like they just they're not they're not on there like that throw back throw back to the christmas episode 1019 01:11:38,540 --> 01:11:40,540 Yeah 1020 01:11:40,540 --> 01:11:45,340 throw back to the christmas episode you're not on the blackout 1021 01:11:52,220 --> 01:11:57,180 They don't be on there just because your standards are in the pits of hell 1022 01:11:59,180 --> 01:12:04,380 Evidently they don't be on there for real for real. I feel like I see a fine man like twice a month 1023 01:12:04,380 --> 01:12:09,180 I really do I just yeah, and some people like some of my friends have told me 1024 01:12:09,260 --> 01:12:12,860 Oh, just go on a date with them. Even if you don't find them attractive just for the experience, but I 1025 01:12:14,540 --> 01:12:16,940 Will be hurling I'll be throwing up my food 1026 01:12:17,580 --> 01:12:22,940 I just don't find the point and be doing it like I'm not going on a date with somebody that I do 1027 01:12:23,100 --> 01:12:25,100 That I am not it's the same way 1028 01:12:25,340 --> 01:12:31,740 It's the same way that I don't understand niggas that hit hit like really like have sex with women that they're not attracted 1029 01:12:31,740 --> 01:12:37,660 I don't understand it. I can't like I'm like if your peepee can stand up for that then your peepee should not be standing up for me 1030 01:12:40,300 --> 01:12:42,300 No way 1031 01:12:43,340 --> 01:12:45,340 I'm just not that's diabolical 1032 01:12:46,540 --> 01:12:48,540 That's diabolical nonsense 1033 01:12:48,540 --> 01:12:52,380 But can we also talk about how chaotic these dating apps are because it was just one nigga 1034 01:12:52,620 --> 01:12:55,980 He messaged me on hinge and he was like are you a munch and I said do you trick? 1035 01:12:57,340 --> 01:12:59,340 Am I a munch? 1036 01:12:59,340 --> 01:13:01,340 Munch on Jesus 1037 01:13:01,580 --> 01:13:06,860 You're very chaotic. I've gotten some wild messages on hinge. Like I really have it's very crazy. No fucking way 1038 01:13:06,860 --> 01:13:11,580 I'm probably going to screenshot them and post them in our close friends on hoson black group 1039 01:13:12,140 --> 01:13:17,020 I'm probably going to show them off, but it's it's very chaotic and I for the most part 1040 01:13:17,020 --> 01:13:21,740 My point was I don't feel like it's too many fine men on those dating games. I really don't um, they are 1041 01:13:22,780 --> 01:13:24,780 Rare occurrence. They are 1042 01:13:24,780 --> 01:13:32,060 Yeah, I tried dating apps. I tried to be okay at that sucked but I did do bumble 1043 01:13:32,300 --> 01:13:37,420 But not as like a dating app as like the bumble bff app 1044 01:13:38,620 --> 01:13:40,620 Oh, and that's how you uh, yep 1045 01:13:42,140 --> 01:13:44,060 Oh 1046 01:13:44,060 --> 01:13:46,060 It worked out for the time 1047 01:13:46,620 --> 01:13:49,340 Worked out for the time. I mean I still like 1048 01:13:49,820 --> 01:13:53,020 Met some other like cool people that we like follow each other on instagram 1049 01:13:53,020 --> 01:13:58,620 Like I want to start I'm gonna start doing it. I'm gonna go on bubble just to find friends. Yeah, it was fun 1050 01:13:58,860 --> 01:14:01,580 It was a fun experience. You know, yeah 1051 01:14:02,460 --> 01:14:05,660 Let's um talk about so we also have another segment 1052 01:14:06,380 --> 01:14:09,900 Um that we are going to do every episode called what's going on 1053 01:14:10,700 --> 01:14:15,260 And we are going to discuss all things that have been going on the blogs pop culture and the media 1054 01:14:15,660 --> 01:14:17,660 So the first thing I want to talk about 1055 01:14:17,820 --> 01:14:19,820 um the alexa sky 1056 01:14:19,820 --> 01:14:25,420 slash black china everybody's been going on these healing journeys. Um, so basically 1057 01:14:25,900 --> 01:14:31,580 Um alexa and black china have recently been very vocal about their healing journeys and their spiritual transformations that they are going through 1058 01:14:32,060 --> 01:14:36,540 China has removed the furthest from her face gotten baptized and has chosen not to do only fans anymore 1059 01:14:37,100 --> 01:14:42,540 alexa sky has been adamant on loving herself more and getting right mentally and people have a problem with this 1060 01:14:43,180 --> 01:14:45,180 I just want to know why 1061 01:14:45,180 --> 01:14:50,620 Why do we put there everybody's like oh like now all the holes all the all the pores want to get their lives together now 1062 01:14:50,700 --> 01:14:55,580 Misogyny and misogynoir. No real shit. That's that's really all it is. Um 1063 01:14:56,540 --> 01:14:59,900 I feel like black women are not given the grace to make mistakes 1064 01:15:00,460 --> 01:15:03,900 And it's not even mistakes. They're not allowed to be sexual beings 1065 01:15:03,980 --> 01:15:09,980 They're not allowed to have the same wild ass time as our other counterparts as as men 1066 01:15:09,980 --> 01:15:19,980 Men and other women of other races are allowed to have their whole phase and still get wiped up and still get married and all this other stuff 1067 01:15:20,460 --> 01:15:22,460 Have you seen girls gone wild? 1068 01:15:23,500 --> 01:15:29,900 Real shit, but but black girls were not well, okay, because your mama was in the book of holds in 1997 1069 01:15:30,460 --> 01:15:34,140 It's like she don't get no damn redemption. No real shit. And it's like I kind of 1070 01:15:35,020 --> 01:15:38,620 I kind of resonate with that in a sense because I remember when I was like 1071 01:15:38,620 --> 01:15:40,220 because I'm 1072 01:15:40,220 --> 01:15:45,100 Gotta be 24 soon, but um like 18 to like 22 1073 01:15:46,940 --> 01:15:51,020 I kind of had like a well first I was in two relationships back to back 1074 01:15:51,180 --> 01:15:53,740 But after I got those relationships, I kind of had like a 1075 01:15:54,540 --> 01:16:02,460 A whole phase and I was very I still am still very sex positive. Um, but during those times I used to talk about sex a lot 1076 01:16:02,460 --> 01:16:09,580 Um openly like on instagram on twitter like say all types of wild shit and people would perceive me as like some kind of horror 1077 01:16:09,580 --> 01:16:14,860 Whatever, but when I hit 23 I got into the stage where like I wanted to really get myself together 1078 01:16:14,940 --> 01:16:16,540 like I want to start 1079 01:16:16,540 --> 01:16:22,460 feeling more like mentally I want to get to the root of like my daddy issues and stuff like that and I just don't 1080 01:16:23,900 --> 01:16:27,420 Understand like people were very shocked when I wanted to go in that direction 1081 01:16:27,660 --> 01:16:28,540 like 1082 01:16:28,540 --> 01:16:33,500 He was a shock like even some of the friends that I had this time they were like what do you mean? You want to heal like 1083 01:16:34,780 --> 01:16:40,300 And that's another thing like why oh, oh, oh, oh, okay now you want to hold like I did that already 1084 01:16:40,540 --> 01:16:42,700 Yeah, I did it already and I'm done with it like 1085 01:16:43,420 --> 01:16:46,140 That doesn't mean that I'm that doesn't take away from me being sex positive 1086 01:16:46,220 --> 01:16:51,420 I still encourage women to like live their best lives sexually to have all the fun that they can to explore sexually 1087 01:16:51,740 --> 01:16:54,220 I still want to I still want to explore a little more 1088 01:16:54,220 --> 01:16:59,180 Uh, sexually but at the same time I also recognize that when I was in my whole face 1089 01:16:59,260 --> 01:17:04,620 Like it was a lot of deep issues that I had. I don't regret my whole face. I really don't I feel like it 1090 01:17:04,940 --> 01:17:08,300 I do develop me. You do I hate them. I 1091 01:17:11,820 --> 01:17:15,740 You hate the man was such a waste it was such a waste of time and to be honest 1092 01:17:15,820 --> 01:17:23,260 I only really added like two bodies on that on the body count. I guess you could say during my whole phase 1093 01:17:23,260 --> 01:17:25,260 I didn't have much of one 1094 01:17:26,780 --> 01:17:33,180 Because like I just could never get myself to do stuff like that and the people that I did waste that one. I'm just like 1095 01:17:33,820 --> 01:17:37,020 Y'all I hate y'all like I agree like I I 1096 01:17:37,500 --> 01:17:44,380 The men that I did sleep with I regret that I don't regret my whole face. I just demanded I did it with like I just 1097 01:17:44,620 --> 01:17:48,380 Yeah, I wish that I never I wish I never I was in such a low place 1098 01:17:48,380 --> 01:17:53,820 Mentally and I realized that once I turned 23 I was like, I gotta get myself together 1099 01:17:53,820 --> 01:17:56,220 Because it's no way that I allowed these men to 1100 01:17:56,700 --> 01:18:00,060 Casual sex is also not really beneficial for women 1101 01:18:00,860 --> 01:18:07,020 What do you mean like in terms of what like oh you mean like like are you talking about like the orgasm yet? 1102 01:18:07,740 --> 01:18:13,180 In every sense of the word like casual sex has done nothing for a lot of women 1103 01:18:13,180 --> 01:18:18,140 Yeah, it has really just made them feel lesser than themselves 1104 01:18:18,780 --> 01:18:21,100 Because they have all this sex with all these people 1105 01:18:21,340 --> 01:18:24,300 You know how men are then men start talking shit 1106 01:18:24,300 --> 01:18:25,820 I don't mean to cut you off 1107 01:18:25,820 --> 01:18:30,380 But you know another reason why a lot of women feel like shit like when they have like a lot of casual sex with men 1108 01:18:30,380 --> 01:18:35,020 Is because a lot of men feel like just because y'all are having casual sex that they can just treat you like shit 1109 01:18:35,020 --> 01:18:37,100 Exactly like they completely like 1110 01:18:38,540 --> 01:18:42,380 They completely forget that you're a human they add they take value 1111 01:18:42,380 --> 01:18:43,580 They take value away 1112 01:18:43,580 --> 01:18:46,860 Like an object and so after the fact and that at least in my experience 1113 01:18:47,420 --> 01:18:53,340 After the fact you feel like shit. It's like damn like you're you literally use me basically to masturbate 1114 01:18:53,340 --> 01:18:57,100 And then after that it's like you treat me like shit. Like you don't even treat me like 1115 01:18:57,980 --> 01:19:00,860 I don't know you don't treat me with like any type of compassion or like 1116 01:19:01,580 --> 01:19:03,820 You don't even have any manners when it comes to me. You're just 1117 01:19:04,540 --> 01:19:06,940 Treating me like I'm just a dog on the fucking street 1118 01:19:07,180 --> 01:19:10,540 And I feel like that's a lot of the problems that a lot of women have with their whole faces 1119 01:19:10,540 --> 01:19:15,180 I feel like it's just a lot of these men just really feel like they don't have to respect you just because they're fucking you 1120 01:19:15,180 --> 01:19:18,380 And that's very problematic and it's also very rapy to me 1121 01:19:18,780 --> 01:19:21,660 Like I feel like it's very that plays into rape culture a lot 1122 01:19:21,980 --> 01:19:26,460 Like you don't feel like you need to respect me just because we're having sex like so what does that look like to you because 1123 01:19:27,580 --> 01:19:29,580 like not to bring that nigga back up 1124 01:19:30,060 --> 01:19:31,500 but 1125 01:19:31,500 --> 01:19:33,740 When you talked about that whole situation 1126 01:19:34,460 --> 01:19:36,700 You was like, I wasn't even trying to 1127 01:19:36,700 --> 01:19:40,940 Do all that extra stuff like we could have just fucked and it been fine 1128 01:19:41,500 --> 01:19:47,420 And he asked for vulnerability out of that but respect also there's a there's a 1129 01:19:48,220 --> 01:19:53,500 Vulnerability that's what I'm saying like we could like treating you with manners treating you with but this the thing we could have still 1130 01:19:54,620 --> 01:19:59,420 Fucked and you could have still had he would have still had manners and stuff and he would have still been respectful 1131 01:19:59,820 --> 01:20:01,820 But I think my problem was 1132 01:20:02,700 --> 01:20:06,460 What does it mean to you just treating me like a human just being like 1133 01:20:06,460 --> 01:20:09,660 Oh, like are you good like after sex like what he would usually do? 1134 01:20:09,820 --> 01:20:17,260 But I think my issue lied where like my issue was like you're staying for like three four hours 1135 01:20:17,500 --> 01:20:23,340 Then after after you leave like we're on the phone for like hours and hours and hours and you're building this connection with me 1136 01:20:23,340 --> 01:20:27,660 Getting to know me we could have just not did that we could have still fucking you could have still you know 1137 01:20:27,740 --> 01:20:30,220 We could have had like short conversations and you could have still been 1138 01:20:30,220 --> 01:20:37,020 Um respectful and have manners like as he was already doing but it just didn't have to elevate to that level of just like 1139 01:20:37,500 --> 01:20:41,020 You getting to know me so deep like not that he knew everything about me 1140 01:20:41,580 --> 01:20:44,300 But it's just like it didn't have to get to that level where you're just like 1141 01:20:45,020 --> 01:20:48,460 Doing all that like you didn't I have to do that. Yeah, I'm just asking because 1142 01:20:49,580 --> 01:20:55,340 It's gonna sound like you've contradicted yourself. No, no, I get I get I get where you was going. That's why I answered it 1143 01:20:56,460 --> 01:20:59,580 I get that I get that like a lot of men are gonna look at you like 1144 01:20:59,580 --> 01:21:03,660 Oh, this bitch don't even know what she wants. You don't know what she wants. Yes. I do know what I want like 1145 01:21:04,380 --> 01:21:06,380 so and especially if he watches it 1146 01:21:06,620 --> 01:21:08,620 He probably gonna be like so 1147 01:21:14,220 --> 01:21:19,980 But um, yeah, I just feel like we should definitely have their grace when it comes to wanting to get right mentally 1148 01:21:20,780 --> 01:21:22,300 and just 1149 01:21:22,300 --> 01:21:24,300 changing our whole lives, um 1150 01:21:24,300 --> 01:21:31,580 So besides that, I also want to talk about uh, the uh, sierra's ask address was a lot of controversy around that from like the christian community 1151 01:21:31,580 --> 01:21:33,580 This gonna be short and sweet 1152 01:21:34,140 --> 01:21:38,780 Her husband was there mind your fucking business. That's really all that I gotta say about that 1153 01:21:38,780 --> 01:21:41,500 Her husband was standing right next to her and he clearly had no problem 1154 01:21:41,500 --> 01:21:46,300 And he had no problem and for all you men talking about he looked he looks baby. I'm comfortable 1155 01:21:46,300 --> 01:21:50,620 Know the hell he didn't you know a midlife crisis. She misses future 1156 01:21:50,620 --> 01:21:52,620 What? 1157 01:21:52,620 --> 01:22:00,620 Like what are you even talking about like what and I think a lot of bitches was just jealous because y'all could not look that good 1158 01:22:00,620 --> 01:22:06,380 In the dress it's not even that y'all couldn't look that good the nigga that you would have all these rules and regulations for your 1159 01:22:06,380 --> 01:22:12,620 S you're not allowed to dress how you are dressed with controlling ass men and that's why y'all had an issue with that as well 1160 01:22:13,180 --> 01:22:16,540 Even to the men are gonna be like it's not controlling that I want 1161 01:22:16,540 --> 01:22:22,380 I only want to see that from my woman blah blah blah well, that's you you go ahead and get you a guy 1162 01:22:23,260 --> 01:22:28,140 Exactly that dresses modestly, but that's guess what y'all don't want that y'all want baddies 1163 01:22:29,500 --> 01:22:34,940 You see how y'all just do stuff exactly but like on some real on some real on some real shit 1164 01:22:35,100 --> 01:22:37,580 this should have never been a conversation because 1165 01:22:39,020 --> 01:22:45,740 Quite frankly what it all boils down to is this and this only it works for them. That's their marriage 1166 01:22:45,740 --> 01:22:51,340 They do what they want to fucking do and just because you show your body doesn't mean that you don't love god. Yep 1167 01:22:52,460 --> 01:22:54,460 Obviously she love god. She got a good man 1168 01:22:55,420 --> 01:22:57,420 Maybe you should go to the lord in prayer 1169 01:22:58,380 --> 01:23:00,380 sweetheart 1170 01:23:01,180 --> 01:23:06,780 Maybe you should get on your knees instead of trying to do other things on your knees you should go on your knees and pray 1171 01:23:07,100 --> 01:23:12,060 By y'all just be saying anything at this point like y'all be saying anything. She looked good. She looked amazing 1172 01:23:12,060 --> 01:23:15,180 And then apparently and it went with the theme like 1173 01:23:16,380 --> 01:23:18,380 Like 1174 01:23:19,820 --> 01:23:22,620 Like cuz y'all hate black women so much that's really all that it is 1175 01:23:23,740 --> 01:23:25,980 It's not even like let's not even bring race 1176 01:23:26,700 --> 01:23:30,540 Engender into it y'all just hate like y'all are so hate 1177 01:23:30,540 --> 01:23:38,940 Hateers for real and y'all take y'all sit there and nitpick every single thing like you really just gonna like find anything wrong with anything 1178 01:23:38,940 --> 01:23:44,300 That's her husband as her life. That's her body and her dress that we can't afford 1179 01:23:44,620 --> 01:23:46,620 We should believe our broke opinions 1180 01:23:47,580 --> 01:23:49,580 From rich 1181 01:23:50,380 --> 01:23:52,380 Exactly talking about it 1182 01:23:52,860 --> 01:23:54,380 Shut up y'all 1183 01:23:54,380 --> 01:23:59,260 Meaning kind of like manner like what what do you like? What is your what is your kids gonna say? 1184 01:23:59,740 --> 01:24:03,020 By the time your kid their kids see it, they're probably be grown 1185 01:24:03,020 --> 01:24:11,340 And they probably won't care. Yes. So once to the next topic. We also got um, I don't know how he's is it finesse two times 1186 01:24:11,500 --> 01:24:13,500 I don't know but finesse 1187 01:24:16,780 --> 01:24:20,620 He's a rapper and he got that he got that song um 1188 01:24:22,940 --> 01:24:26,940 It's a problem when they know it's a problem when I do it fuck you know that song 1189 01:24:27,500 --> 01:24:29,900 She don't know she don't kill it on listen to that type of music 1190 01:24:29,900 --> 01:24:34,140 But basically finesse two times and erica bank. I'm such an old lady. I don't know that 1191 01:24:34,140 --> 01:24:39,740 Basically finesse stated in an interview that the reason him and erica did not work out is because she was on her phone first thing in the morning 1192 01:24:40,060 --> 01:24:43,980 He says that woman needs to be focused on making breakfast and spending time with your lover in the morning 1193 01:24:44,540 --> 01:24:48,940 He said this on a radio show because somebody asked him why did him and erica bring up now me 1194 01:24:49,820 --> 01:24:53,420 I personally don't think it's anything wrong with him wanting this but I just don't feel like why you had to go 1195 01:24:53,500 --> 01:24:57,420 Why did you have to go on a radio show and say this and if I just don't know why you would have to do that? 1196 01:24:57,420 --> 01:25:00,140 Why you have to like try to play her like that? I don't know 1197 01:25:01,100 --> 01:25:03,260 um, I just don't 1198 01:25:03,260 --> 01:25:06,780 I don't see the issue with what he said if that's what I don't feel that's what she want 1199 01:25:07,260 --> 01:25:09,260 That's what you want. That's what you want 1200 01:25:09,260 --> 01:25:12,300 But it's just like he said it in a way where he was trying to like 1201 01:25:13,180 --> 01:25:20,540 Embarrass her like try to play her basically and that's my that's my issue. Um, so what do you think about that? I feel like 1202 01:25:22,460 --> 01:25:26,060 I agree that the first thing that she should not be doing is grabbing her phone 1203 01:25:26,060 --> 01:25:29,180 That's kind of weird. I'm not live you grab my phone 1204 01:25:29,820 --> 01:25:35,180 Hey, I do too, but I think that's really unhealthy. We have a really unhealthy connection to our phones 1205 01:25:36,060 --> 01:25:42,300 I also agree that if you are with someone that your attention, especially during the morning 1206 01:25:42,940 --> 01:25:44,940 should be on them like you should be 1207 01:25:46,140 --> 01:25:48,700 wanting to talk to them and 1208 01:25:49,260 --> 01:25:54,220 You know spend time especially since like y'all are both entertainers 1209 01:25:54,220 --> 01:25:56,220 Y'all have studio time to get to 1210 01:25:57,100 --> 01:26:02,780 All types of things like you should savor every moment with that person. So 1211 01:26:03,660 --> 01:26:04,620 I 1212 01:26:04,620 --> 01:26:06,620 Agree with him however 1213 01:26:06,620 --> 01:26:10,140 I just don't like the fact that he said women should be 1214 01:26:10,700 --> 01:26:13,980 Yeah, I don't that's my issue like if that's what you want 1215 01:26:14,780 --> 01:26:16,140 That's what you want 1216 01:26:16,140 --> 01:26:21,660 I just but I also had a problem with the fact that why couldn't you just say oh, we just didn't work out 1217 01:26:21,660 --> 01:26:26,540 Like why did you have to do that? Like why do men always have to be extra and do all that shit? 1218 01:26:26,540 --> 01:26:28,540 Like you could have just said we didn't work out 1219 01:26:28,700 --> 01:26:33,820 We have to do all that. Oh, she ain't make breakfast in the morning. She was on her phone first first thing in the morning like nigga 1220 01:26:33,820 --> 01:26:34,940 What? 1221 01:26:34,940 --> 01:26:36,940 Like damn 1222 01:26:37,580 --> 01:26:42,380 That's what it is. But you know, I don't I don't think there was anything wrong with him. That's what you want 1223 01:26:42,940 --> 01:26:44,940 That's what you want. That's what you want 1224 01:26:44,940 --> 01:26:46,940 So once our next topic 1225 01:26:46,940 --> 01:26:53,820 So this this segment is called tweet anatomy. So basically we're going to pick tweets or memes that we see on social media 1226 01:26:54,060 --> 01:26:57,260 That stuck out to us and we're going to dissect them and give our takes 1227 01:26:58,060 --> 01:27:00,060 so 1228 01:27:00,060 --> 01:27:02,060 the tweet that I picked 1229 01:27:02,060 --> 01:27:06,860 It says being used for intimacy feels a thousand times worse than being used for sex 1230 01:27:07,500 --> 01:27:13,420 And I kind of resonated with that because I've definitely had my fair share of men who really just liked 1231 01:27:13,420 --> 01:27:21,020 Keeping me around more so for like the intimacy or like, I don't know like the cuddling and like the talking and the conversation 1232 01:27:22,380 --> 01:27:27,500 And I don't know. I just fallen victim to that a lot and it does feel very shitty 1233 01:27:27,740 --> 01:27:33,020 I do feel like men do have an issue when you just want to fuck them. Um 1234 01:27:33,900 --> 01:27:35,900 So yeah, so yeah, um 1235 01:27:36,300 --> 01:27:40,700 That's my that's that was that was the tweet that I picked but what about you? How do you feel about that? 1236 01:27:40,700 --> 01:27:42,700 I 1237 01:27:43,740 --> 01:27:46,940 Agree like it feels shitty as fuck. Yeah, I'd rather you just use me for sex to be honest 1238 01:27:47,340 --> 01:27:51,100 No, seriously, because at least I know it's a physical exchange, but if I give my heart to you 1239 01:27:52,140 --> 01:27:57,820 If I'm really like showing myself really quick because I really show myself getting involved to you 1240 01:27:58,940 --> 01:28:00,940 all because you 1241 01:28:01,020 --> 01:28:02,140 need 1242 01:28:02,140 --> 01:28:04,140 that type of 1243 01:28:04,140 --> 01:28:07,580 Comfortability or mental stimulation or you're trying to get sex out of me that way 1244 01:28:07,580 --> 01:28:09,580 I would feel so low like 1245 01:28:10,460 --> 01:28:16,860 Exactly hate to feel like that. I would really hate that like I just know that that shit is ridiculous. You know 1246 01:28:16,860 --> 01:28:20,380 It is um and unfortunately a lot of men do do that 1247 01:28:20,940 --> 01:28:24,860 Yeah, and it's just like you would have got the kuchi anyway. Why do you want to know? 1248 01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:28,300 I'm more about my life. No, like why it's like 1249 01:28:29,420 --> 01:28:32,540 So the the last situation that I was in 1250 01:28:33,260 --> 01:28:35,260 Like I was very content with 1251 01:28:35,260 --> 01:28:37,260 with I and I said this 1252 01:28:37,820 --> 01:28:42,140 Previous episode, but I'm gonna just repeat it again. I was very cool with us just having sex 1253 01:28:42,460 --> 01:28:44,460 I was cool with that 1254 01:28:44,460 --> 01:28:47,420 But it's like the nigga cut pressing and pressing for 1255 01:28:47,900 --> 01:28:52,460 More out of me. He wants to see more of my personality more things that I was into 1256 01:28:52,940 --> 01:28:57,180 And it's just like in the long run. It's like he wind up telling me that he never wanted anything serious 1257 01:28:57,420 --> 01:29:01,980 He didn't want anything serious with me at all, but it's just like, okay. If you knew that it's just like why 1258 01:29:01,980 --> 01:29:07,020 Like why would you even press me for more in that kind of sense if you knew that you didn't want that? 1259 01:29:07,020 --> 01:29:10,140 Like what is the what's the point? Like what's the goal of doing that? You know what I'm saying? 1260 01:29:10,140 --> 01:29:14,460 Like it just doesn't make sense. So why would you want me to do all that? You don't want anything serious with me? 1261 01:29:14,460 --> 01:29:17,100 So why would you not consent with us just fucking so? 1262 01:29:18,140 --> 01:29:21,980 That that's I've definitely fallen victim to that. It's fucked up, but 1263 01:29:22,700 --> 01:29:24,700 Which tweet did you pick? 1264 01:29:24,700 --> 01:29:26,700 So my tweet was 1265 01:29:26,700 --> 01:29:31,740 Hose are better at relationships and get more commitment out of men than regular women 1266 01:29:33,020 --> 01:29:35,420 I 100% agree 1267 01:29:35,420 --> 01:29:37,420 I 1268 01:29:37,420 --> 01:29:39,420 agree 1269 01:29:39,420 --> 01:29:41,420 because 1270 01:29:41,420 --> 01:29:43,820 What I've noticed about hose is that they prioritize men 1271 01:29:44,380 --> 01:29:46,380 Then prioritizing men 1272 01:29:46,380 --> 01:29:49,740 Makes them know what they make even less 1273 01:29:49,740 --> 01:29:51,740 Makes them know what they want 1274 01:29:52,460 --> 01:29:54,460 So they can give 1275 01:29:54,460 --> 01:29:58,460 A man exactly what they want and then on top of that these holes are the ones 1276 01:29:59,020 --> 01:30:04,220 Who they're these niggas are going to cheat on their wives and their girlfriends with? 1277 01:30:04,860 --> 01:30:06,860 Follow me. Follow me. Follow me 1278 01:30:06,940 --> 01:30:10,860 The hoe is the one that gets gets the listening ear 1279 01:30:11,260 --> 01:30:17,420 Like they'll say all the things that they can say to their girlfriend or their wives literally come to you for advice and everything 1280 01:30:17,420 --> 01:30:22,140 I'm not saying that I'm a hoe. I'm just saying that I've been in a situation where it's like 1281 01:30:22,140 --> 01:30:24,140 You know 1282 01:30:24,460 --> 01:30:28,460 A man will feel comfortable with me enough to like vent in that way 1283 01:30:29,420 --> 01:30:34,300 Like but these holes are getting sex and they're getting their like their therapist 1284 01:30:34,620 --> 01:30:38,060 Because they sit there and pillow talk afterwards. Trust me. That is true 1285 01:30:38,060 --> 01:30:43,740 And they'll say all these things like I want a woman to do this and I want a woman to do that and this and that and the only 1286 01:30:43,740 --> 01:30:46,940 Reason why I'm with this girl is because she does this and that for me 1287 01:30:46,940 --> 01:30:48,940 You're listening to all this 1288 01:30:48,940 --> 01:30:55,260 No, they're taking all the intel. They're taking all the intel. So one thing for sure 1289 01:30:55,740 --> 01:31:01,740 Women, please listen to the please listen to your men like please listen to them because you do not want to be out here 1290 01:31:02,300 --> 01:31:07,180 And even when it comes to like female friends and stuff like that the best friend the best thing that they be like 1291 01:31:07,180 --> 01:31:11,900 Hunching on when they're not in a relationship and all that other stuff or just the female best friend 1292 01:31:13,180 --> 01:31:16,380 They're them niggas are going to them. Yeah, and they're like 1293 01:31:16,380 --> 01:31:21,980 This bitch does this this this and I don't like it and she don't care about this and she don't care about that and 1294 01:31:24,380 --> 01:31:26,380 No, that's true 1295 01:31:26,380 --> 01:31:30,380 Regular women thought about it that way regular women think that it's just enough to have a low body count 1296 01:31:31,500 --> 01:31:33,500 And think that it's just enough to 1297 01:31:34,940 --> 01:31:42,940 Just oh well, I don't dress like a whore and I haven't had sex with this amount of people and all these things niggas let it hold 1298 01:31:42,940 --> 01:31:46,940 niggas let it hold 1299 01:31:46,940 --> 01:31:48,940 They let it hold so 1300 01:31:50,300 --> 01:31:56,940 But it's because of that like you you think that you bring in a low body count and 1301 01:31:57,900 --> 01:32:02,620 Um modest dress on monday wednesday and friday is going to be enough to keep the niggas 1302 01:32:03,420 --> 01:32:08,220 Or having your own shot my own car have my own thing have my own that and then you wondering why 1303 01:32:08,220 --> 01:32:16,700 a women that were like alexa sot sky and black china and all these other like kim kardash 1304 01:32:16,700 --> 01:32:22,620 Yeah, all that because niggas really don't care about what you really they don't really care about what you bring to the table 1305 01:32:23,340 --> 01:32:27,820 I'm gonna be for real that they do not give a fuck about that. They don't 1306 01:32:28,060 --> 01:32:33,340 I mean, maybe some men do but like majority of them don't like they don't they'd rather you 1307 01:32:33,660 --> 01:32:35,660 Especially if they know that they can take care of you 1308 01:32:35,660 --> 01:32:37,660 Please yeah have nothing 1309 01:32:39,660 --> 01:32:41,660 Like 1310 01:32:43,660 --> 01:32:49,660 That's facts though, but the hoes really do listen to your niggas so maybe y'all should start listening to y'all men 1311 01:32:51,500 --> 01:32:56,380 And maybe you can keep them around. Oh, that's a good. That's an amazing point. I didn't think about it like that 1312 01:32:56,940 --> 01:32:58,940 And also they know how to fuck 1313 01:32:59,660 --> 01:33:03,580 I know that men like freaky versions, but it really don't ever happen like that 1314 01:33:03,580 --> 01:33:08,460 So you're usually yeah, like usually regular women low-key are not pleasing men 1315 01:33:12,220 --> 01:33:15,020 Now that's a that that's a conversation we could talk about 1316 01:33:15,260 --> 01:33:20,380 I'm cranky because that's an unpopular opinion because it's always like talking about the pleasure gap with women 1317 01:33:20,380 --> 01:33:26,140 Which it does we do have a pleasure gap, but think about all the niggas out here that'd be like 1318 01:33:26,300 --> 01:33:31,580 Yeah, that shit was just mid, but it was pussy. So I guess yeah, and they just don't talk about it 1319 01:33:31,580 --> 01:33:35,580 Mm-hmm. They don't talk about it at all. Actually they keep their mouth shut 1320 01:33:36,220 --> 01:33:41,180 That's very but if they was as vocal as us there would be another pleasure gap conversation 1321 01:33:41,260 --> 01:33:46,380 Freaking up like y'all don't know which y'all y'all don't know how to suck dick y'all don't know how to ride dick 1322 01:33:46,460 --> 01:33:51,740 Y'all don't know how to do anything and then expect 100 loyalty from an infomaniac 1323 01:33:52,380 --> 01:33:57,660 I'm dead because would it really that's really would it be boiling down to like men our age? 1324 01:33:58,700 --> 01:34:00,700 horny 1325 01:34:00,700 --> 01:34:02,300 horny 1326 01:34:02,300 --> 01:34:03,500 horny 1327 01:34:03,500 --> 01:34:04,540 all right 1328 01:34:04,540 --> 01:34:05,900 horny 1329 01:34:05,900 --> 01:34:07,900 I didn't think about that. That's true 1330 01:34:07,820 --> 01:34:12,860 Um, okay. So that's awesome move on. It was another tweet that was so basically 1331 01:34:13,500 --> 01:34:15,820 They was on twitter saying things that they're too old for 1332 01:34:16,540 --> 01:34:19,900 So what are so some things that I put that I was I was too old for? 1333 01:34:20,620 --> 01:34:22,380 um 1334 01:34:22,380 --> 01:34:23,740 For me 1335 01:34:23,740 --> 01:34:26,380 I could do this like probably even a year ago 1336 01:34:26,380 --> 01:34:33,820 Or or two years ago three years ago four years ago, but now I feel like I'm too old to stay out to party until the am 1337 01:34:34,060 --> 01:34:37,180 Like I can't do it no more. I can't like I feel like I'm 1338 01:34:38,540 --> 01:34:40,540 It's too much for me. Like 1339 01:34:40,780 --> 01:34:43,020 I need to be in the crib at least about 12 1340 01:34:43,420 --> 01:34:48,300 Like I can't stay out past 12 anymore. Like I can't I'm too old for it. I can't do it 1341 01:34:48,700 --> 01:34:52,380 Um, I also said I'm too old for these hairstylists and these braiders 1342 01:34:52,380 --> 01:34:57,420 Um, they're getting on my fucking nerves. So now I've just resorted to wearing my hair natural or trying to do it myself 1343 01:34:57,740 --> 01:35:01,500 Or asking my mom to do it because I'm tired of you bitches. Honestly. I'm sick and tired of y'all 1344 01:35:02,140 --> 01:35:05,740 Um, and I'm also feeling like I'm beginning to get too old for social media 1345 01:35:06,460 --> 01:35:09,660 Now I do gotta be on there to like promote our brand and stuff like that 1346 01:35:10,060 --> 01:35:13,180 But I don't know if people notice or not, but on my personal page 1347 01:35:13,580 --> 01:35:15,580 I usually was on there all the time 1348 01:35:15,740 --> 01:35:20,700 But now I do not be on there no more like that no more like I don't like I just I don't be on there 1349 01:35:20,700 --> 01:35:23,100 I'm too old for it. Like I just don't feel the need to be on there 1350 01:35:23,580 --> 01:35:27,660 I also find that social media can be harmful because I be comparing myself to bitches 1351 01:35:28,140 --> 01:35:33,260 Um, not even just like when it comes to like, um body image, but even just like finances and shit like that 1352 01:35:33,340 --> 01:35:36,780 And all like it's very when little do you know they selling pussy? No 1353 01:35:37,180 --> 01:35:40,700 Roush it roush it no wallow says something like that. He was like, yo 1354 01:35:40,780 --> 01:35:43,740 I gotta stop comparing y'all some of these girls because they be selling a pussy for 1355 01:35:44,220 --> 01:35:46,220 They do they dead dude 1356 01:35:46,220 --> 01:35:51,500 Like once I realized that he was on the podcast and he was like y'all be y'all be making yourselves depressed 1357 01:35:51,580 --> 01:35:56,380 Wondering like why is it my business doing as good as this girl's business? It's because they selling that cat 1358 01:35:56,940 --> 01:36:05,020 Maybe and it's look. I'm not mad at it. I'm not mad at it either. It's just but I'm just saying yeah like unless you 1359 01:36:06,300 --> 01:36:08,300 I mean if that's what you want to do 1360 01:36:08,860 --> 01:36:10,220 Do it 1361 01:36:10,220 --> 01:36:14,620 But like that's what they be doing. They be selling twat. They be selling few pics and stuff and 1362 01:36:14,620 --> 01:36:18,620 Yeah, and I just like I'm not going there route. So it's not for me 1363 01:36:18,940 --> 01:36:24,380 It is because I can't just fuck a nigga that I don't like. Yeah, I can't my kuchi don't get wet like that 1364 01:36:27,340 --> 01:36:31,980 And only fans is not for me like I couldn't do it like so it's gonna be a little difficult for me 1365 01:36:32,620 --> 01:36:34,620 To get where I want to be and 1366 01:36:35,580 --> 01:36:40,060 Um, so yeah, those are things that I am too old for staying out to party to the am 1367 01:36:40,060 --> 01:36:46,860 Um dealing with these Philly hair stylist um embraters because y'all bitches is really not hairstylist for real because y'all don't want to wash hair 1368 01:36:47,260 --> 01:36:49,660 And social media. That's what I'm too old for right now 1369 01:36:50,300 --> 01:36:52,300 by you 1370 01:36:52,620 --> 01:36:54,620 I'm too old 1371 01:36:55,740 --> 01:36:57,740 Wow 1372 01:36:59,340 --> 01:37:01,340 I'm just too old 1373 01:37:01,820 --> 01:37:06,220 Like you're over it. Yeah, like I'm too old for 1374 01:37:06,220 --> 01:37:08,220 Like 1375 01:37:10,220 --> 01:37:13,740 Circling back to friendships like over overly clingy 1376 01:37:14,540 --> 01:37:17,500 Friendships, I'm too old for animosity 1377 01:37:18,300 --> 01:37:23,580 Between us when I don't answer the phone or something like that like bitch. I don't feel like talking 1378 01:37:24,300 --> 01:37:25,820 Leave me alone 1379 01:37:25,820 --> 01:37:28,060 um social media but in the sense 1380 01:37:28,460 --> 01:37:29,500 I don't mean to cut you off 1381 01:37:29,500 --> 01:37:35,740 But I know kello over it because today I asked her I was like, do you want to go see kree after we after we film and she was like no 1382 01:37:36,380 --> 01:37:42,220 I'm just like yeah, and I love that she's so direct with that shit too. I'm like, I know she's over it like she don't 1383 01:37:44,700 --> 01:37:48,460 But you would say it wouldn't you say about social media. I'm sorry social media just 1384 01:37:49,260 --> 01:37:51,500 social media as people like 1385 01:37:53,100 --> 01:37:57,340 I hate the fact that we're curating our lives so much 1386 01:37:57,340 --> 01:37:59,340 Like be fucking normal 1387 01:38:00,540 --> 01:38:03,100 Like you don't have to take pictures of 1388 01:38:04,060 --> 01:38:06,060 Your food when you eat it 1389 01:38:06,860 --> 01:38:09,500 Bitch, I be doing that like a lot for my little dumps 1390 01:38:11,500 --> 01:38:14,300 But even that like that like why 1391 01:38:15,500 --> 01:38:17,500 Just enjoy yourself 1392 01:38:17,500 --> 01:38:23,340 Like I'm not even judging you. It's just like this. It's just like no I'm like just live in a moment. Yeah, just enjoy yourself 1393 01:38:23,340 --> 01:38:26,060 And that's one thing I've been trying to work on like when I went to um 1394 01:38:26,060 --> 01:38:28,060 I went to made America last year 1395 01:38:28,460 --> 01:38:34,380 And I found myself not really recording as much because I'm like I just want to live in this moment 1396 01:38:34,380 --> 01:38:40,060 And I did live in a moment and it was a very great moment was jasmine solar been on stage and I was just it just wowed me 1397 01:38:40,460 --> 01:38:41,660 I'm just like 1398 01:38:41,660 --> 01:38:47,340 This is what it feels like to live in the moment like I was I recorded a little bit, but it wasn't a lot 1399 01:38:47,340 --> 01:38:49,340 I'm just like I'ma just chill on it 1400 01:38:50,060 --> 01:38:52,060 But it does feel good to just just 1401 01:38:52,060 --> 01:38:54,700 Be there be present exactly 1402 01:38:54,700 --> 01:38:56,700 What else am I too old for? 1403 01:38:57,340 --> 01:38:59,900 Oh, I know what I'm too old for and it's gonna sound 1404 01:39:00,380 --> 01:39:02,380 I know a lot of girls are not gonna agree with me and that's fine 1405 01:39:02,940 --> 01:39:11,260 But I feel like I'm too old to I really don't want a roster anymore. Like I just don't I cannot talk to 1406 01:39:11,900 --> 01:39:15,980 Multiple men anymore. Like I could do it. I could do it probably a year ago 1407 01:39:15,980 --> 01:39:21,660 Or like when I was 22 or 21, I can't do it anymore. Like I was never able to do stuff like that 1408 01:39:21,660 --> 01:39:27,660 That's why I get my feelings hurt. Yeah, I can't talk to multiple men anymore. I really can't maybe my max is two 1409 01:39:28,620 --> 01:39:32,060 Anything over that I can't do it no more. Like I don't like men that much 1410 01:39:32,060 --> 01:39:39,580 I get that people will be like don't put all your eggs in one basket and I might be being dumb right now in my situation, but 1411 01:39:40,540 --> 01:39:46,540 I'm happy so yeah, I can't deal with more than two men and that's another thing that I'm too old for 1412 01:39:46,540 --> 01:39:51,820 And that's another thing that I'm too old for I'm too old to be worried about how everybody else is feeling 1413 01:39:53,180 --> 01:39:57,580 Like I'm happy. Yes. I'm very very very happy 1414 01:39:58,300 --> 01:40:05,020 And that the fuck the outside. Yeah, like I'm very happy especially with the brand about the person I'm dating 1415 01:40:05,580 --> 01:40:06,460 like 1416 01:40:06,460 --> 01:40:09,100 the like the friends that I have 1417 01:40:10,780 --> 01:40:13,820 Like I'm very happy. I'm very content with my life like 1418 01:40:13,820 --> 01:40:21,820 I'm I'm where I'm supposed to be at 22 and that's another reason why I think I'm too old for social media because it makes you feel like you're so behind 1419 01:40:21,820 --> 01:40:23,820 It does. That's why I 1420 01:40:23,820 --> 01:40:25,820 I post that stuff on the hosting page and I log up 1421 01:40:26,620 --> 01:40:31,420 Like I don't even even on the hosting page like I only follow like 1422 01:40:32,380 --> 01:40:38,620 I've only followed pages that that are like inspiring like maybe like self-care pages and or shit like that 1423 01:40:38,620 --> 01:40:45,740 I don't follow nobody else on that page or other creatives that that inspire me. I'll follow them on that page, but like 1424 01:40:46,620 --> 01:40:48,620 That's it. Like I I'm really 1425 01:40:49,900 --> 01:40:52,780 I just don't find the big deal in social media 1426 01:40:53,020 --> 01:40:57,420 Me even have to promote our brand like that's really it and post my selfies every now and then 1427 01:40:57,740 --> 01:41:04,220 Like but even with that like I'm just too I'm too and I'm also too old to be following trends 1428 01:41:04,220 --> 01:41:11,020 Yes, that's who I don't want to be a trendsetter. I don't want to be dressing like everybody else 1429 01:41:11,740 --> 01:41:13,740 I just want to wear what I like 1430 01:41:14,700 --> 01:41:16,700 and 1431 01:41:16,940 --> 01:41:21,260 Some it was really hard for me like recently just for 1432 01:41:22,780 --> 01:41:26,380 A lot of reasons that we're not going to get into because like 1433 01:41:27,900 --> 01:41:33,020 But like I was just finally like but I'm not them. I'm not them. I'm not that 1434 01:41:33,020 --> 01:41:39,660 I can't even fake the funk if I wanted to I like the way I look. I like the way I look as myself 1435 01:41:40,300 --> 01:41:42,300 I'm not about to sit here and try to change that 1436 01:41:43,100 --> 01:41:45,100 because I feel like 1437 01:41:45,420 --> 01:41:47,420 some people 1438 01:41:47,500 --> 01:41:52,460 Would like to see me differently or I notice that some people 1439 01:41:54,060 --> 01:41:56,060 notice 1440 01:41:56,140 --> 01:41:57,580 Other people 1441 01:41:57,580 --> 01:42:00,460 When they look a certain way, I'm like well shit. Fuck it 1442 01:42:00,460 --> 01:42:08,380 If they can't like me for how I'm for how I dress and what I look like then then they just don't need to be around me 1443 01:42:08,940 --> 01:42:10,940 like 1444 01:42:11,260 --> 01:42:13,260 um 1445 01:42:13,340 --> 01:42:18,780 I keep mentioning I'm about to be 24, but I keep mentioning it because that's like your mid 20s and I feel like that's major but like 1446 01:42:20,060 --> 01:42:22,140 Since I'm I'm nearing my mid 20s 1447 01:42:22,140 --> 01:42:25,740 Like I've really been a lot of things have been shifting for me mentally 1448 01:42:25,740 --> 01:42:31,820 Like I don't a lot of stuff that I cared about a year ago. Yeah, I do not give a fuck about that shit no more like 1449 01:42:32,700 --> 01:42:33,660 at all 1450 01:42:33,660 --> 01:42:39,980 So I I feel you on it like I just don't care to be on social media like then no more. I don't care to 1451 01:42:40,860 --> 01:42:42,860 really follow trends 1452 01:42:43,020 --> 01:42:49,980 I don't care to have the latest bag or like I just don't care. I just want to be happy and to have everything that I want 1453 01:42:49,980 --> 01:42:55,980 Like I don't I don't care about anything else. It's so easy to get caught up in that stuff though 1454 01:42:55,980 --> 01:43:00,060 It really is and I I can say that I've fallen guilty to that at times 1455 01:43:00,540 --> 01:43:05,900 Because again, it's it's easy for that to happen when you're on social media all the time, but now I'm just I'm not like that 1456 01:43:05,900 --> 01:43:07,900 I'm chilling like I'm cool 1457 01:43:08,780 --> 01:43:12,380 um, but let's get into our music segment so 1458 01:43:13,740 --> 01:43:15,340 Okay, so 1459 01:43:15,340 --> 01:43:17,340 How much time we have got a couple minutes left? 1460 01:43:17,340 --> 01:43:22,300 We I want to talk about some of the newest music that's come out. Um, I don't know if you heard it yet 1461 01:43:22,300 --> 01:43:24,780 But victoria monay and lucky day they had her 1462 01:43:25,580 --> 01:43:26,780 I need to buy this song 1463 01:43:26,780 --> 01:43:28,780 I feel the same way too and I usually like 1464 01:43:29,340 --> 01:43:33,500 Everything that victoria puts out and I like this song don't get me wrong. I like it. It's not everything 1465 01:43:33,500 --> 01:43:39,340 That's not a bit already put out before. Yes. That's what I was about to say. It just sounds like everything that she's already put out and um 1466 01:43:40,140 --> 01:43:44,140 I really love that song. Yeah, that's her aesthetic. It's not a horrible song 1467 01:43:44,140 --> 01:43:46,620 Um, but I just 1468 01:43:47,420 --> 01:43:51,980 It's nothing new like it didn't excite me in the sense. Um, I'm gonna still listen to it 1469 01:43:51,980 --> 01:43:59,340 But it's not that exciting to me. Um, also Chloe Belly dropped a song called body do did you hear it? Yeah, I liked it 1470 01:44:03,020 --> 01:44:05,260 I kill her does not like 1471 01:44:06,940 --> 01:44:09,420 He does not like this girl 1472 01:44:09,420 --> 01:44:13,580 I love her. Why do you not like her? 1473 01:44:14,700 --> 01:44:16,700 Her face. Why do you not like Chloe? 1474 01:44:18,220 --> 01:44:20,220 What is there to like? 1475 01:44:21,900 --> 01:44:25,500 I like I love Chloe like she should what is there to like 1476 01:44:26,300 --> 01:44:28,300 She's talented 1477 01:44:28,860 --> 01:44:30,860 He loves me 1478 01:44:30,860 --> 01:44:32,860 I really can't stand 1479 01:44:32,860 --> 01:44:39,100 I like her music is art. You know like her music sucks 1480 01:44:39,740 --> 01:44:44,700 Her music really sucks and it makes me so mad because like she's she could sing her behind off 1481 01:44:44,700 --> 01:44:46,700 I just feel like this whole 1482 01:44:46,700 --> 01:44:50,700 This whole performative as sex positivity shit that she got going on 1483 01:44:51,260 --> 01:44:52,460 Her non 1484 01:44:52,460 --> 01:44:57,580 I just can't get jiggy with it. Like it looks so forced. I'm so sorry 1485 01:44:57,580 --> 01:45:02,220 I do like she looks like 1486 01:45:04,380 --> 01:45:07,580 My man when he said this nigga said 1487 01:45:08,940 --> 01:45:14,460 He she looked like she she just gives the um the awkward join that's trying to fit in 1488 01:45:16,140 --> 01:45:20,140 Wait because I'm still on like as soon as I said Chloe Belly 1489 01:45:22,700 --> 01:45:24,700 Killa's face she was just like 1490 01:45:24,700 --> 01:45:29,420 What is there like she doesn't do nothing for me like 1491 01:45:30,380 --> 01:45:32,380 The art just sucks like 1492 01:45:32,780 --> 01:45:36,380 She don't feel like people have put her in a box because she's Beyonce's artist 1493 01:45:37,420 --> 01:45:41,660 And that's probably why y'all don't know I think she put herself in that box 1494 01:45:41,980 --> 01:45:48,860 She's been trying to mimic the way that her career like Beyonce's career has gone and it has not done anything 1495 01:45:49,260 --> 01:45:51,740 For her it has not done anything beneficial 1496 01:45:51,740 --> 01:45:57,900 Girl, I'm not even trying to be mean. It's just not doing nothing like every time I really like 1497 01:45:58,700 --> 01:46:00,700 Killa does not like her 1498 01:46:01,820 --> 01:46:03,820 It's not that I don't like her 1499 01:46:03,820 --> 01:46:09,900 It's just that I want more from her whatever the fuck this shit that she's doing is is not it 1500 01:46:12,140 --> 01:46:14,140 It's not it 1501 01:46:15,660 --> 01:46:20,940 I think that she should actually be herself, but you don't think she's being no you can tell that she's 1502 01:46:20,940 --> 01:46:23,260 You know that that shit is forced 1503 01:46:24,060 --> 01:46:26,560 Come on even the damn choreography 1504 01:46:28,140 --> 01:46:33,820 You mean to tell me that you don't see that wait she had posted this picture and people was was flaming her 1505 01:46:34,700 --> 01:46:39,820 No, we probably shouldn't even do this because we hope so let me see they was like why she clenched her but 1506 01:46:40,940 --> 01:46:42,940 We let me find the picture 1507 01:46:42,940 --> 01:46:50,300 You see like yo, they was grinding the fuck out of her. They said she clenched her ass 1508 01:46:56,300 --> 01:46:58,300 Yes, like 1509 01:46:59,260 --> 01:47:01,420 Hey, y'all Killa does not like this girl 1510 01:47:01,580 --> 01:47:03,580 What is this diaper booty ass shit? 1511 01:47:03,580 --> 01:47:05,580 Stop don't do that 1512 01:47:05,580 --> 01:47:07,580 Don't do that. We supposed to be 1513 01:47:07,580 --> 01:47:08,780 You see this? 1514 01:47:08,780 --> 01:47:10,780 We supposed to be hosting Black girl 1515 01:47:10,780 --> 01:47:16,620 It's like she's so gorgeous. She's so gorgeous, but she doesn't know how to work her sexuality right now 1516 01:47:17,180 --> 01:47:22,300 You don't think she has any sex at all. I think that should suck like I don't get turned on at all 1517 01:47:25,340 --> 01:47:27,340 Okay 1518 01:47:28,380 --> 01:47:30,860 Halle has natural sex oh, I love holly 1519 01:47:31,340 --> 01:47:37,180 Halle just does something for me and I don't even mean to compare but it's just like you could tell that 1520 01:47:37,180 --> 01:47:41,820 That holly knows who she is. You could tell that Chloe does not know who she is 1521 01:47:41,820 --> 01:47:45,900 She's still figuring herself out out though. That's why I give her grace. She's still figuring herself out 1522 01:47:45,980 --> 01:47:47,980 But nah 1523 01:47:48,060 --> 01:47:50,060 She said yeah, but nah 1524 01:47:50,940 --> 01:47:55,340 So I just can't let's let's just move on. What we're excited to hear new music from next for me 1525 01:47:55,340 --> 01:47:57,500 I have summer walker and I have Megan the science 1526 01:47:57,900 --> 01:47:59,980 I'm very excited to see Megan the science come back 1527 01:47:59,980 --> 01:48:03,500 Especially after the shooting with um the the tour lane shooting 1528 01:48:03,500 --> 01:48:08,860 I'm excited to see what she's gonna release and what her subject manner is gonna be because honestly now that I think about it 1529 01:48:08,860 --> 01:48:14,300 Um, some of her music is repetitive, but I now that she's going through this situation might sound a little fucked up 1530 01:48:14,620 --> 01:48:18,140 I am just excited to see how she approaches that in her music if she does at all 1531 01:48:18,140 --> 01:48:21,500 She doesn't have to I will understand if she wouldn't because it's 1532 01:48:22,380 --> 01:48:24,380 It's traumatizing so 1533 01:48:24,860 --> 01:48:27,180 excited to hear new music from Megan the science summer walker 1534 01:48:27,980 --> 01:48:31,340 I don't really think I really have to expand more on that. I know how much I love her 1535 01:48:31,340 --> 01:48:34,300 Um, I'm but honestly, I'm curious to see 1536 01:48:35,420 --> 01:48:40,620 What direction she's gonna go in with her music because I feel like the last two projects she had like they was just like 1537 01:48:41,900 --> 01:48:45,980 Like sad relationship music and now it seems like she's if I'm not mistaken 1538 01:48:45,980 --> 01:48:47,820 She's still in a happy relationship 1539 01:48:47,820 --> 01:48:50,780 So I wonder like what that's gonna be like and she just had twins 1540 01:48:50,780 --> 01:49:01,420 So I wonder what her music is gonna be like like just subject wise, but that's who I'm excited to hear from. How about you? 1541 01:49:02,300 --> 01:49:04,300 I'm not impressed by anybody 1542 01:49:07,100 --> 01:49:09,100 Thus I have no answer 1543 01:49:10,700 --> 01:49:12,700 I 1544 01:49:12,700 --> 01:49:15,900 Just music today ain't doing it for me right now really 1545 01:49:15,900 --> 01:49:21,100 Um, the only person that I really want to hear something from is probably Hallie. Oh 1546 01:49:22,140 --> 01:49:24,140 Yes, I 1547 01:49:24,700 --> 01:49:31,340 Yeah, if she if she is like working on solo like a solo project, man, I'm gonna eat that all up. Yes 1548 01:49:31,500 --> 01:49:34,860 Um, you know who else I will say, um 1549 01:49:35,820 --> 01:49:39,660 I want to see what Ari wants to do next. Where's she gonna go next? 1550 01:49:40,860 --> 01:49:42,620 Ari 1551 01:49:42,620 --> 01:49:47,020 She was done with music or something like that, but I don't think she's serious. I don't think that she's serious 1552 01:49:47,100 --> 01:49:49,100 I think that she's tired. She's just very emotional 1553 01:49:49,900 --> 01:49:55,660 My girl. She's a fire sign. She's an Aries today's her birthday. Oh, happy birthday Ari Lennox 1554 01:49:56,220 --> 01:49:57,660 If you see this 1555 01:49:57,660 --> 01:49:59,660 Yeah, so she's just like super emotional 1556 01:50:00,380 --> 01:50:02,380 As fire signs have 1557 01:50:02,380 --> 01:50:06,780 Been yeah for a long time me. I'm excited to see where Ari Lennox goes next as well 1558 01:50:06,780 --> 01:50:13,980 Yeah, I just want to see how she's gonna approach her sound because like shape other baby versus age sex location 1559 01:50:14,860 --> 01:50:16,860 I liked age sex location better 1560 01:50:16,860 --> 01:50:20,060 But I feel like I only liked it better because of where I'm at in life 1561 01:50:20,380 --> 01:50:25,500 Yeah, right. I feel like I resonate with Ari a lot like I remember she tweeted something like have I made myself look dumb because I 1562 01:50:25,500 --> 01:50:28,300 Designed love love. Yeah, and that's how I am like I 1563 01:50:28,940 --> 01:50:35,260 Do niggas not want me because I want love. Yeah, she said something like that and I feel like that's what that's that was the whole 1564 01:50:35,260 --> 01:50:40,300 Like her whole asl project. I feel like that's that that was that like that's what she was like 1565 01:50:41,260 --> 01:50:46,780 Displaying in that album like her me or well her one her her yearning for love 1566 01:50:46,860 --> 01:50:51,020 And that's where I'm at in life and I feel like that's why I love it so much better than shape other baby 1567 01:50:51,100 --> 01:50:55,260 I just really want to how I want to be in a relationship like I want to experience 1568 01:50:55,740 --> 01:50:58,220 True love like dates all that stuff like and I 1569 01:50:59,100 --> 01:51:02,540 I ain't good there yet. So I'm excited to see where she goes 1570 01:51:02,540 --> 01:51:05,580 Yeah, I ain't but she like shape other baby better 1571 01:51:06,780 --> 01:51:08,780 I don't really have a preference 1572 01:51:08,940 --> 01:51:14,300 I'm in such a weird. I'm in such a weird space right now as y'all can tell like I don't even look like myself right now 1573 01:51:15,020 --> 01:51:18,620 So like right now musically I haven't even really 1574 01:51:19,500 --> 01:51:21,500 been listening to anything like 1575 01:51:23,020 --> 01:51:26,220 I just been in silence for a like a minute 1576 01:51:26,220 --> 01:51:33,660 Yeah, just because I don't really know how I feel and like what I listen to is contingent upon like where I'm at 1577 01:51:34,060 --> 01:51:37,900 That is very true. And right now. I'm in such a weird 1578 01:51:41,340 --> 01:51:43,340 A weird space 1579 01:51:43,340 --> 01:51:47,180 I just can't I I can't feel anything 1580 01:51:47,900 --> 01:51:49,900 I can't feel anything 1581 01:51:49,900 --> 01:51:53,740 So right now. I'm just like not impressed. Well, hopefully 1582 01:51:53,740 --> 01:51:56,300 Things will not hopefully things will get better for me 1583 01:51:57,580 --> 01:52:02,380 I hope so it needs to get better by tomorrow because life is smoking me 1584 01:52:05,100 --> 01:52:11,660 Um, but that's about everything we're gonna get up out of here. Um, y'all make sure y'all are following us 1585 01:52:11,660 --> 01:52:14,700 Well, make sure you are download our playlist. Um 1586 01:52:15,660 --> 01:52:20,860 The official hosting playlist is on Spotify. It's like music. Um, we're going to drop um 1587 01:52:21,420 --> 01:52:23,100 our episode 1588 01:52:23,100 --> 01:52:27,660 On friday. Well, we can't it's pretty irrelevant for me to say this. Yeah 1589 01:52:28,620 --> 01:52:34,860 Watch the like watch the most recent watch the most recent issue be dropped by the time this comes out. Yes 1590 01:52:35,100 --> 01:52:37,100 So watch the most recent episode 1591 01:52:37,500 --> 01:52:44,140 Um, again, if you're a Philly artist, um, like Philly artists make sure y'all DM us so we can put your music in our playlist 1592 01:52:44,620 --> 01:52:48,220 And also make sure that y'all are following our personal instagrams as well 1593 01:52:48,220 --> 01:52:55,900 Mine is the only camry and be with two ease because I am the only camry. There's no other camry in this world that exists like me 1594 01:52:56,460 --> 01:53:01,980 Um, so make sure you follow me. See h e only and then camry k a m r i and then kella 1595 01:53:02,700 --> 01:53:08,540 My instagram name is k the curator. Yes. So c a i the curator 1596 01:53:08,860 --> 01:53:13,820 And then make sure y'all also follow the wholesome black girl page. I'll spell it out for y'all again h e a 1597 01:53:13,820 --> 01:53:21,340 u x s o m e black girl. So we're gonna get up out of here. Um, and we will see y'all the next episode. Bye 1598 01:53:24,780 --> 01:53:26,780 Oh 1599 01:53:26,780 --> 01:53:42,700 That's all that was a good conversation. We got through everything. I mean