Hello, I'm Will Jones.
And I'm Jumaimah McVitie.
Welcome to the Stupid Opinion of Teenagers, the show where Jumaimah and I discuss on how
to be a teenager and whatever else is on in the week.
So for you guys to learn more about teenagers, we will invite a special teenager guest or
an adult with a teenager on to see how they are coping.
And hopefully we will be finding out what happens to you, the listener, and all your
tales of teenagers.
So grab some popcorn or tuck into bed and enjoy.
Hello everyone, welcome back to the Stupid Opinion of Teenagers podcast with me, your
host Will Jones.
And yes, you're just one host.
Jumaimah has left.
Just joking.
And she hasn't.
She's not.
She has.
She just, we'd be recording all night to be honest.
And we've had so many technical issues that we actually just can't record tonight.
It's too late.
We've got to get a video out to you guys.
So it's in PolyTV.
A long one.
We have some content in it.
Just from me.
You're plain old.
Um, Lying's been a very stressful one.
Jumaimah's been again in her, in her, in her rut.
She's been all over the place.
Not good.
In her, wow.
She actually, I'm not a tearful laddie.
I like to point out.
But you know, we were recording parts for that video, for that episode.
Content areas.
And you know, it was, what was, what was the topic?
Our nitpicky bits about each other.
Right?
And one of mine was when she sides with people over me and then they're not like her long,
good friends, her best friends that she hangs out all the time.
Like you friends.
But no, no, I was wrong.
And she said that, that, that I'll, wow, one of the most important people to her.
And yes, literal will.
He cried.
He did cry.
Yeah.
So, sorry for the soft entrance, everyone.
But I just thought I'd tell you that.
I don't know a good reason why Jemima isn't there.
Great person.
I know she's listening to this right now.
Yeah.
Cool.
Right.
So, we couldn't record tonight because of, what do you call it?
These technical issues.
You know, I'm not good on the old technical.
So I could be missing something, but I don't think I am.
I'm just going to scour around.
Oh, no, no.
We're okay.
So that's that.
So I'm going to give you some basic content, what we talked about over the recording tonight.
And then I'm going to call it a night.
It's going to be a short episode, a little chat, a little apology.
Because you know, we don't want to disappoint you by posting nothing.
Get to know me a bit.
So hi, I'm Will.
I am English.
Well, 50% English.
And I live in England.
This is so bad.
What we talked about was our, which are the most useless and unhelpful emojis.
Let me just find some.
We were talking about this very random, very random.
Jemima's idea.
We were talking about how there was like Pac-Man emojis, cowboy emojis that were just so pointless
and you should never use them.
I want to talk about the ones I love.
I mean, I love emoji.
I'm an emoji guy.
You know, I like to use eggplant, unicorn.
No, I like to use.
Moving on.
I don't know why.
I think the useless one is a nerd emoji.
They're pointless.
The one where he's actually like, he's green.
As a green emoji.
I think it's supposed to be Hulk.
Green emoji.
I mean, it's just useless.
Green emoji.
I mean, there's a sick one.
I don't know if it means you're supposed to be sick.
I don't think it is.
There's a Hulk emoji, which why isn't there an Iron Man or a Captain America emoji?
So Hulk emoji is pretty weird.
You got some devils.
You got some, some.
These are these purple devils.
Devils aren't purple.
They're all purple.
Well, maybe if you put that, I want to try this devil.
That's the eggplant.
Eggplant is my freaking new silkspayings into accents.
Yes.
There you go.
I mean, that looks, that just kind of correlated.
Very nice.
Okay.
Very nice.
What I, what I, I wrote down a little bit for the section of the podcast.
We've been talking about it on the actual podcast.
I'm going to bring it up now.
Pig.
So this is my order.
So pig, monkey, eggplant, peach, cloud, water droplets.
So it's the pig getting touched by the monkey, by his large eggplant, which is vegetable.
And then the pigs.
Peach is where the eggplant is being inserted gently.
It gets faster and faster until this white puff cloud pops out, also gets a bit ribbily
in there, this way you get the water clouds.
And then what you can do, you can get a person emoji and get that one where he's like, oh,
like that.
He's like moaning.
So you got the moaning one.
I know my six is a bit...
This stuff is quite hormonal, so you can put the crying emoji and then you can put the
googly eyes emoji where he's like, a bit like a noony, a bit like your local paparazzi man.
I tried to make story and emojis.
Oh, this is fun.
We all know another emoji, so it's quite easy to do.
And then we could do the dripping, dripping emoji where he's like, wah.
And then he's going, we're going to get the, the, the mustachio emoji where you got the
guy with the glasses and the big, big mustache.
That's going to be a random one.
No, no, no, no, it's not going to be random.
That's gonna be the monkey.
The monkey is going to be the mustachio man.
What we're going to get now is the egg, well, there's the peach, it's in my section.
So he's looking at the peach walking by.
Oh no, the pig's angry.
You get the cursing emoji with the little red face.
Oh, there is red hulk in this actually.
Red hulk.
There's red in, I don't know why there are red.
That's stupid, isn't it?
Idiots.
So you've got the swearing emoji, the little angry one, because now the pig's angry.
He's hungry at the monkey for looking at peach walking by and it's bendy little peach bottom.
And then this is, this is the monkey now who's, who's hot.
You get the hot emoji, then you're like, you're red, but you're hot.
Stop it, drip, drip coming down from it.
He's, he's like, oh my God, oh, we're so hot.
You get the one where he's like blue and yellow and he's got a little drip coming down and
was like, oh my God.
Oh no, what have I done?
I've looked at it.
Now pig's angry.
Yeah pig, pig's coming along.
What he's going to do, he's going to get the sink emoji out and he'll be like, then he
turns into devil for his big, greedy teeth.
This is where we use the fingers and you get the middle finger.
Now young kids, a middle finger is, is the thumbs up, let's say of swear words.
So don't use it.
No, no, no.
It's not a good thing.
Even though it's a thumbs up, it's not a good thing.
So you get that emoji.
You can make it black because it's always black.
Put that one up, which is, which symbolize anger first.
So let's get a bit of scrap going on.
So you get fist, so get two fists so you can get white fist.
No, no, no, no.
I've done it the wrong way around.
White fist versus black fist.
There's a fight going on.
Fist on fist.
What happens in the end is that lady.
I just, that peach sign walks over.
She's a ginger.
Because that's the closest emoji.
Somehow that's in the frequent we use.
But well, don't ask.
So she's there and then she is going to point the point emoji points at him.
What she does then is you can go off to go.
I think you have to go to a separate section for this.
Yes you do.
You have to get the boxing emoji out.
Bring it out and she punches them up.
You pull six of them.
Then you get the old dog.
The guy with the sword.
Old dog.
This is in the sports section and the activity.
Sorry.
You bring it up and then what you can do, you can then bring up.
You need to find the British flag.
Because you know it's apparently superior.
So if you get the British flag up.
There it is.
Both of them.
The English and British.
You can stick it on there and then they win.
There's my emoji story.
So if you want to be an angry ginger follow my story.
Because it's a safer space.
Pinkity punk.
Pink.
Punk.
Pink.
Pinkity punk.
Stop right now.
Stop don't say no.
I'm not done.
I'm just pretending there's cool badass music going on.
Like you know from Cobra car like.
I'm just playing that's going on right now.
Just stop.
Okay.
Yes there hasn't been a lot of content out tonight.
But I.
God damn.
Teach.
Weird.
Habits.
Okay.
Weird habits.
Now all the people are going to blog weird habits.
I'm going to read you out of view right now.
It's a good room.
I made you a few.
Wake up at 830 to switch on the geyser and sleep for another two hours.
I love what it means.
Moving on.
All doors and wardrobes in the ring have to be completely shut when people are sleeping.
Yeah I see that.
Wardrobe.
You don't have to reside in there.
Oh my god it's Jerry.
Oh.
That's going to give me nightmares.
Oh god no.
Oh god.
Right.
Moving on.
I can sing a whole song in my head without really knowing the lyrics.
I can sing it out loud.
I can't sing it out loud.
That makes sense.
Fair enough.
Yeah I can do.
Yeah.
Yeah I see what you mean.
When you.
For example.
Pina colada.
Yeah I'm singing it in my head right now.
Yeah that's amazing.
I can't sing it out loud.
Oh god I forgot the first line.
If you love pina coladas.
Getting jowling in the rain.
United to your girl.
You've heard half of the link.
If you like making love at midnight.
In the dunes of the caves.
You the man or woman.
You the man that I've looked for.
Da da da da da.
Da da da da da da.
Da da da da.
Oh my god I want to sing that so badly right now.
Maybe I will at the end of this episode.
Moving on.
I can't go to sleep without flipping my pillow to the cold side first.
Yes.
This is.
Sometimes I do this cold side.
Oh my god.
Don't check my pants because I can get quite happy.
Oh my gosh the cold side is so nice.
Yes.
The cold side.
Oh you have to do that.
Completely getting naked while while peeing.
Oh why are these focused around me.
Oh my gosh.
I do this.
Me too.
Well I'm in the wee.
Not all the time.
Unless my stomach really like you know when you get like stomach cramp or whatever.
It is like your stomach really hurts and like I just take a more close up.
Sometimes when I do that when I do when I have a poo I always take my clothes off.
Completely get naked and just sit down the thing and just have a poo.
Let it out.
Natured.
Just it's nice.
I don't know why.
I guess you maybe you're just scared of a bit of poo landing on your time being there.
It's nice.
Naked massage in your living room.
Oh my god this is so big.
Yes.
Naked massage is the one times the groin.
Yeah it gets a bit tight and sometimes.
But the groin yes the groin.
Ouch.
That's a nasty one.
Not nice ones have massage.
What do you know what I do like.
I do love the knee.
I have knee problems.
Oh get right in there.
Like oh daddy.
Oh that's all nanny isn't it.
Sniffing private part hair.
What.
I mean you're actually bending down there somehow like.
Down there.
Sniff.
Because that's not my cup of tea.
I mean sometimes you may itch down there and you go to wipe your blood itch your eyes and
you're like oh god not again.
I've done that trust me.
And it's maybe more than maybe that I'm quite a weird cupcake.
So I'm that cupcake that sticks out in your jar you know what I mean.
Okay yeah I eat shit you smell it.
You're like oh that's dark.
I've gone down there again.
Have I.
There.
Okay before I end it I'll give you a bit of a joke.
Joke.
I tried to start a hot air balloon business but it never really took off.
Don't fucking laugh at me at that.
Oh that's amazing.
Yes that makes so much sense.
I tried to start a hot.
I start I tried to start a hot.
Oh my god I need to get my words out.
I tried to start.
You know what I said I tried to start a hot air balloon business but it never took off.
Get it because.
Air balloon.
That's funny.
That's funny in my opinion.
That's really funny.
I'm gonna look pin a flower to it.
The lyrics.
I'm gonna sing this song in the review.
I just ate a spli.
Oh.
I just ate a fly.
Oh my god.
Oh god.
Oh I'd sell the window now.
Just let more in now.
Bollocks.
Sorry about that everyone.
I think my mic's slightly wet.
Oh it's still in there.
Oh it's a little one as well.
Oh they're all.
Oh that's actually horrible.
Oh that was horrible.
I just spit all the walteress all on my clothes.
Right let's look at the pinacolada lyrics Dan.
Oh great.
Why is my brightness now so low?
I don't even know how you turn up the blimmin brightness.
Do you know how to blimmin brightness?
Actually can you tell me guys in the comments how to turn up the brightness.
I guess I have no idea.
Alright I got it.
Oh my god here we go.
Oh my god oh my god.
Hello.
I see you in the next recording.
Pinkity ponk.
Pink.
Ponk.
Pink.
Pinkity ponk.
Right okay let's see if this works.
Hopefully the music is on right behind you guys.
Okay.
Well not right now when I sing otherwise I'm gonna do a recording anyway and I'm gonna
have it when I'm singing it.
That'll be cool.
Anyway lyrics.
Let's sing pinacolada.
I was sad of my lady.
We've been together too long.
Like a one-up recording.
Of my favorite song.
So while she laid there sleeping.
Or at the paper in bed.
There was this letter I read.
If you like pinacoladas.
Getting caught in the rain.
If you nodding to your girl.
You had heartbreak.
If you're not making love at the midnight.
In the dunes of the chair.
That number low that you look for.
Right to me and escape.
I don't think my lady.
Oh well that says kind of me.
But me and my old lady.
Have fallen into the same old old routine.
So I ripped to the paper.
Took out a personal ad.
And threw down nobody's poet.
I thought it wasn't half bad.
Yes I'm not painting a collage.
Getting caught in the rain.
I'm not much into health food.
I'm into champagne.
I'm up to meet you.
By tomorrow noon.
I cut through this red chain.
And I buy a cold old Miley's.
Where old campland are escape.
So I waited with high hopes.
And she walked into the place.
I knew her smile in an instant.
My god there's a massive grandfather fly right.
I knew the curve on her face.
It was my lovely lady.
My god it's getting close up.
And she said oh it's you.
Let me laugh for a moment.
And I said I never knew.
Like you're not painting collages.
Getting caught in the rain.
And the feel of the ocean.
And the taste of champagne.
If you like making love at midnight.
In the dawns of the camp.
You're the lady that I've looked for.
Come with me and escape.
If you like painting collages.
Getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga.
If you have half a brain.
If you like making love at midnight.
In the dawns of the chain.
And the feel of the love that I've looked for.
Right to me and escape.
Yes I like painting collages.
Oh my god that grandfather fly getting close in the rain.
I'm not marching to have food.
I'm into champagne.
Down about.
I've got to make it tomorrow noon.
If you're through this old red tape.
At the bend.
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la It's right on my arm.
Oh my god.
Ah.
Oh lucky escape.
It's the end of the song anyway.
I'd love to sing it when it's dreadful but.
You know.
Don't you all have a laugh?
If you don't have a laugh.
Get off this pork gloss right now.
Okay?
Because you know you're boring.
That grandfather fly.
I'm out of pickup rides.
No feet.
Well then.
Good night everyone.
Good night.
Grandfather.
I lost him anyway so I can't be spotty gone.
Good night everyone.
Thank you for listening.
What an episode.
I quite enjoyed this.
See you guys next time.
Promise there's an episode on Friday.
Proper throughout content.
Thanks for listening.
Check out the blog.
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Check out everything.
Make sure you follow and rate the review.
I love you guys.
Trust me.
You mean a lot to us.
Bye.